#you can know every exact details of what i did from ages 18-21 but i will never ever tell you how my parents fucked me up

[spicycreativity]

The Core Four (Logan, Roman, Virgil and Patton) are somewhere spooky, old house, in the woods, etc etc, and it's a place where poltergeist/demon/ghost/devil/spirit/whatever you want Remus resides and haunts and is scary and evil in. (Or they summon him) And he's like "Ooh time to mess with them muahahahaha!" but he sees Patton and gets like this "Cute boy!" And gets interested in Patton instead.

Boop

Words: 2k

Pairing: Pre-slash Intruality

Other notes: College AU, mild Vitaminwater slander, somewhat based on my own college experience of being straight edge and bored all the time and also owning multiple fist-sized chunks of quartz crystal purchased from the tent outside the gas station down by the on-ramp on the far side of town 🥴 Our abandoned dorm building was not haunted, tho

Content warnings: Mentions of underage drinking (not depicted), mentions of overdosing (non-graphic), Remus is sexually forward toward Patton, swearing, innuendo, etc. Still, I'd only rate this T

While it was rooming assignments that brought Roman, Patton, Logan, and Virgil together during the first weeks at university, it was their mutual unwillingness to break any sort of rule that kept them together. While their peers were drinking smuggled alcohol and racking up write-ups from the RAs, the foursome would sit on Logan and Virgil's side of the dorm suite drinking Vitaminwater and attempting to entertain themselves with board games and Netflix. This, predictably, got old quickly and weekends soon became a desperate battle to stave off boredom and existential ennui.

The fraying thread of Roman's patience finally snapped the night Patton suggested Pogs. The lack of adventure had chafed at him longer than it had the others and he secretly longed for some sort of thrill, even if it meant breaking the rules.

"Ugh," Roman threw himself backwards onto the pillow he'd stolen from Logan's bed, nearly knocking over Patton's mostly-full bottle of grape Vitaminwater. "We're seriously so lame that we can't think of anything better to do than Pogs?" 

"Hey," said Virgil from atop his bed, and shook a few drops of açai-blueberry-pomegranate sugar water onto Roman's forehead.

"Sorry, Patton," Roman added, wrinkling his nose at the unpleasant sensation. "No offense, but I'm just so bored! I was expecting more adventure when I finally left my dreary old hometown."

"I thought you told us you were from Los Angeles," Logan said, tossing a package of Wet Wipes down onto Roman's chest. "And Virgil, I understand why you would want to teach Roman a lesson, but please try not to stain my pillowcase."

"What do you wanna do, Roman?" Patton asked, adjusting himself where he was propped up against one of the legs of Logan's bed.

"I don't know! All I know is that I have the most boring Snap story out of everyone in my stupid 100-level History class. Remy went surfing the other day. And he's from Nebraska! How does he know how to surf?" 

"There it is," Virgil said.

Roman sat up again and opened up the Wet Wipes so he could clean off his face. "Lightning round! Suggestions. Go!" He pointed at Virgil.

"Um," said Virgil. "Uh-- Sca-- Uh, horror marathon. Horror movie marathon."

"Ugh, no." Roman pointed at Logan.

"Studying."

"Oh, come on. Patton?"

"We all go to bed early so we can wake up and get breakfast together before the dining hall runs out of waffle batter?"

"Guuuys." Roman pointed at Virgil again.

"Man, I dunno, Roman! Like I'm the expert in what looks good on a Snapchat story."

"You're the one who's bored," Logan added. "Why don't you suggest something?"

"That's not how it works!" Roman shot back. "I'm the-- the arbiter, the czar! You're the idea guys."

"Okay, fine!" Virgil leaned over the edge of the bed to better give Roman the evil eye. "How about we break into the shut-down dorms with a ouija board and try to contact the spirit of that kid who OD'ed in the bathroom?"

"That's the spirit," Roman said.

"Ha," Patton said weakly.

"Wait," said Virgil, already desperately trying to make eye contact with Logan. "I was kidding. You can't be serious."

"No, no, that's a great idea! Virgil, go get your ouija board and whatever other spooky shit you have tucked away.

"We're going now?" Patton squeaked.

Logan sighed and swung his legs over the side of the bed. "Roman, anything you post to your Snapchat story can potentially be turned in as evidence and used to incriminate you. I suggest you leave your phone behind."

"Wait!" Virgil ran his hands through his hair, agitated. "You can't possibly be on board with this."

"I'm not," said Logan. "I am offering Roman advice for the same reason high school nurses' offices offer condoms: not as an encouragement, but as a safety measure. Either we all agree to go now or we all agree to go tomorrow night after Roman spends the whole day pouting and whining--"

"Hey!"

"So I suggest we just get it over with," Logan concluded.

"Seriously?" Patton was already pale and shaking, holding a stray hoodie of Virgil's close to his chest.

"It's okay, Patton," Virgil said, offering him a reassuring smile. "I'll let you wear my horn of protection amulet."

It took just under an hour to get everyone changed into darker clothes and outfitted with protective symbols from Virgil's collection. In addition to silver amulets and charms, he had handed out fist-sized chunks of quartz crystal to all of them with careful instructions not to lose them, as he wanted everything back at the end of the night.

But soon (all too soon for Patton) they faced the looming silhouette of the abandoned Monroe Hall. It was in surprisingly good repair despite the lack of security cameras and floodlights to deter intruders. In fact, the only light came from the blue emergency callbox situated a few yards down the path.

"We, genius," Virgil said, turning to Roman. "How do we get in?"

"I don't know!" Roman tossed up his hands. "I'd Google how to pick a lock but somebody" --he glared at Logan-- "made us leave our phones in the microwave."

"I already told you, it's a functional Faraday cage and--"

"Yeah, yeah, how about we save the science lectures for 8:00 am on Tuesdays and Thursday," Roman said.

"That was oddly specific," Virgil muttered, trying and failing to exchange a glance with Patton, who was staring at the ground and turning over the quartz crystal in his hands. "Wait, I've got an idea." He took his own chunk of quartz out of his pocket and slammed it through the glass door, sending a shower of tempered glass clattering onto the tiled floor inside. Then he stepped through the hole and beckoned the others in after him. "Let's go."

Patton made a muffled sound of fear and grabbed onto Logan's arm.  "You don't really think there's a ghost, do you?"

"Of course not," Logan said, leading Patton inside and following Virgil to the stairs.

"Wait!" Roman jogged ahead to lead the charge. "Are we not gonna talk about Virgil just--"

"Found a broken door and stepped through it?" Virgil interrupted, bumping Roman with his hip. "No, we are not."

Roman led them up a flight of stairs and down a corridor similar to the one in their own dorm building. All the doors they tried were locked, so they set up the ouija board in the hallway outside the bathrooms.

"Okay, gang," Virgil said once they were all sequestered around the board. "Pointer fingers on the planchette."

"Not our whole hands?" Roman asked.

Virgil shot him a sideways glare. "I'm sorry, are you the expert on the occult?"

"Are you?" Roman asked.

"Relative expert," Virgil said, sticking out his tongue. "Now. Pointer fingers on the planchette."

"I really don't know if this is a good idea," Patton said, extending a shaking hand.

"You should be more afraid of campus security," Logan said. "Although from the state of the building, it appears that we are the first to successfully enter."

"Nothing's happening," Roman complained, his eyes on the planchette.

"We haven't asked a question yet, genius," Virgil sneered.

"It seems rude to barge into someone's house and just start asking questions," Patton said. He looked up, addressing the ghost. "Hi!"

The planchette jerked and began to shake. Anticipating Virgil's accusation, Roman held up his other hand. "It's not me!"

"Shut up!" Virgil snapped. "It's moving."

They read the letters out loud together as the planchette began to move around the board: "N-I-C-E." Pause. "C-O-C-K."

"Oh, come on." Virgil grabbed the planchette and threw it at Roman's face. "Not funny."

"I swear that wasn't me!" Roman said, smacking the planchette down. It clattered across the board and came to a stop by the number '2.'

"Roman," Patton chided, "it's really not nice to mess with us like that."

"You too?' Roman said. He turned to Logan. "Come on, Specs, you know it wasn't me."

"I know it wasn't a ghost. I know it wasn't me. I know Patton and Virgil aren't likely to make that sort of joke. Therefore, I can safely posit that it must have been you. Although I wouldn't make an accusation without more evidence."

"Oh, come on!" Roman put his hand on the planchette despite Virgil's noise of protest. "Hey, spirit. Can you do something else spooky so my friends stop accusing me of--"

What happened next was equal parts anticlimactic and chilling: Roman's eyes turned green and began to emit a gentle glow. He was silent for only a moment before turning to Patton with a chipper smile. "Hey, hot stuff! Nice cock."

"Whoa" said Virgil, scrambling backwards toward the wall. "What the fuck."

"He invited me in!" said Roman, or more accurately, the ghost possessing Roman's body.

"Oh my God," Patton said. "That's not Roman."

"Yeah, no shit!"

"I'll give him back in a minute," said the spirit. "I just had to shoot my shot with hottie over here. What's your name, sugar?"

"Uh," said Patton, glancing wildly at Virgil (who was fumbling in his pocket for his holy water or his salt, whatever he found first) and Logan (who was actively blue-screening). "Patton?"

"Nice to meet you, Patton." The ghost stuck Roman's hand out for a shake. "Name's Remus. Has anyone ever told you you're kinda DILF-y for a college student?"

"N-no?"

"Well, you are."

"Thanks, I guess." Patton sat back and pulled his legs up to his chest in an unmistakably defensive pose. "Um, is there something that you wanted, Remus?"

"I already told you!" Roman's face beamed in a way it never had before, his eyes twitching strangely in their sockets. "I just popped in to shoot my shot. So?"

"He's propositioning you," Logan hissed. 

"I…" said Patton, panic whiting out his mind. Unable to find words, he held up his left hand to show off the silver band on his ring finger.

"You're married?" Roman's body leaned forward to read the engraved writing. "True love waits."

"It's a purity ring," Virgil explained, finally extricating a small vial from the tangle of cords and chains in his pocket. "And this is holy water."

"Wait," said Remus, "are you guys exorcising me? Cause I swear I'm gonna give you your friend back. I'm dead, not evil. Also," he turned to Patton, "is that a no?"

"Yes!"

"Wait, so you do wanna bang?"

"No!"

"Alright, alright, damn." Remus leaned Roman's body back, putting up his hands in a defensive gesture. "You know, I was gonna go full poltergeist and try to see if I could make you all cry, but I changed my mind when I saw Hot Pat-tato. Soooo, you're welcome."

"Yeah," said Virgil, "I'm not sure we should be thanking you for taking over our friend's body. Give him back, by the way."

"Wait!" said Patton. "Remus, why aren't you at rest? Is there something we can do to help you move on?"

"Nah," said Remus. "To be honest, I just wanted to haunt the crap out of some dumb college kids."

"Need I point out," Logan said, "that you are also a dumb college kid?"

Virgil looked around at the empty halls, walls of closed doors, the dusty spiderwebs hanging like streamers in the corners. "Wait. There's nobody to haunt."

"Yeah," said Remus. Roman's shoulders shrugged. "It's been kinda lonely and boring. 

"Sucks to suck," Virgil said, brandishing the sealed vial of holy water. "Okay, time to go."

Remus sighed and crossed Roman's arms over his chest. "Fine. I didn't really want to haunt you guys anyway."

"I might…" Patton twisted up his mouth thoughtfully, rubbing his fingers along the quartz crystal in his pocket. "Maybe I'll come back and say hello sometime."

The grin that unfurled across Roman's face was so familiar that Patton nearly hugged him. But his eyes were still that slightly luminescent green, still twitching and rolling like he was trying to take in every detail of the world all at once. "Really?"

Patton nodded and held out his hand palm-up. Roman's hand was icy, but Patton forced himself not to flinch as he brought his head down and kissed Remus' knuckles. "Really."

For a moment, there was silence. Then came a gentle warmth, and confused brown eyes staring down at Patton, who only had time to gasp before Roman tilted his head in confusion. "Um, Patton? Why are you holding my hand?"

[vindicatedvirgil]

soulmate september / day twenty-two: glow-in-the-dark stars

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21

Day Twenty-Two: When you close your own eyes, you can see what your soulmate sees.

Summary: Logan was positive that he didn’t have a soulmate, or that everyone around him was making up the whole thing. Virgil kept his eyes closed as much as he possibly could, because when he did, he saw what his soulmate saw.

Ship: Analogical (Virgil x Logan)

word count: 847

(big thanks to Danni from Discord for helping me figure out what ship to write for this and for the idea with the glow in the dark stars on Logan’s ceiling. i heart you both with my heart.)

@tsshipmonth2020

---

Logan was taught from a very young age that when you close your eyes, you see what your soulmate is looking at. His parents would use this to their advantage when doing grocery shopping or attending school productions or events. But whenever Logan closed his eyes, all he saw was darkness. Nothing was there, and as he grew older, he began to think that he didn’t have a soulmate.

Perhaps the whole concept of soulmates was a trick told by parents, like Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy, to make their children believe that love was real and that there would always be someone out there who loved you, who was meant for you. Maybe Logan was doomed to never have someone love him more than life itself, to have someone to hold in the middle of the night as they gazed at the glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling.

Those stars followed him throughout his whole life, from his childhood bedroom to his college dorms and finally into his bedroom of his own apartment, one he moved into once he began working at the local observatory. Every night, he’d lay on the bed, staring up at the ceiling of intricately organized glow-in-the-dark stars, mimicking the way the sky looks on his birthday, and hoped that maybe his inklings were wrong. That maybe the stars would be kinder to him tomorrow, that he’d close his eyes and see what his destiny would be.

-

Virgil was born blind. He didn’t mind it too much, since his dad was always there for him and when he focused on the movements of closing his eyes, he saw stars. Specifically, glow-in-the-dark stars on his soulmate’s ceiling. His soulmate spent a lot of time looking at those stars on their ceiling, at stars in books, at doodles of stars in the margins of his school notes. As Virgil and his soulmate grew older, he noticed the stars followed them everywhere.

He wanted to meet the man he had watched grow up through the mirror. The man was tall, thin, and had black framed glasses around his bright blue eyes. He wore lots of button-up shirts and ties and sweaters, and Virgil loved him for the encouraging smile he would give himself as he adjusted his tie every morning.

But Virgil didn’t know how to find him. How do you find someone you’ve only seen when your eyes are closed, and you can’t see when they’re “open”? He finally asked his friends Janus and Remus (who were lucky to find each other in elementary school) for help in finding his soulmate. He would focus on the surroundings of his soulmate, trying to read the signs and describing everything he saw to his friends. Finally, they realized it was an observatory, so they started by going to the one closest to them. Maybe they’d be lucky.

Virgil described him in as much detail as possible, down to the exact things the man was wearing that day, and the trio walked around the observatory for a bit when Janus finally came to a halt.

“Virgil, focus. What does he see right now?” Janus asked, eyes focused ahead.

“I see…” he took a deep breath, focusing on what his soulmate saw. “Three guys, one on each side of…”

“Does the one on the left have a mustache? And the other is wearing a hat?” Remus asked quietly, for once not making jokes or saying inappropriate things.

“He’s here,” Virgil breathed out. He decided to step forward, towards the man. “Excuse me, do you work here?”

Logan’s eyes focused on the man in front of him. “Yes, I do. How can I help you?”

“This is going to sound really weird, but… I’m pretty sure you’re my soulmate. I can see myself right now,” he said. 

“I don’t have a soulmate,” the man said coldly. “When I close my eyes, I see nothing.”

“I’m blind,” Virgil explained quietly. “You have glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling. You have ever since you were a child. I know because I’ve been looking at them for my entire life, too.” Logan thought all of the air would be forced from his lungs as the words hit him at full force.

“What’s your name?” He asked the man standing before him. He watched as hands gripped his arms, and a smile crossed the man’s face. 

“I’m Virgil,” he said, and Logan thought the name was the most beautiful he’d ever heard. “And you are…?”

“I’m Logan.”

-

Logan slipped into bed beside Virgil, his arms wrapping around his boyfriend gently. “You still awake, starlight?” He asked quietly, and he felt Virgil nod, then snuggle closer into his chest.

“Will you look up at the ceiling for me?” Virgil asked, as he did every night. Logan smiled, adjusting so he looked up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling, but during the day he had changed them around. Virgil shifted, and then a gasp left his mouth. “Logan… what did you do?”

In the stars, Logan had spelled out Will You Marry Me?

[zeldahime]

cql college/job au xiyao edition

because these two have the potential to be the slowest of slow fucking burns and extremely excruciatingly painfully perfectly polite at all times

featuring: ta/student very-much-not-a-relationship, enough ust to set the entire humanities building on fire, corporate espionage, nie huaisang being the sneakiest and sweetest slytherin, background wangxian, nie mingjue being a boss, intense eye contact, let lan xichen say fuck, meng yao stress hours, WERE YOU ONLY PRETENDING TO BE DELICATE AND POOR, summer internship, background wangxian

it got uh. very long. so. 

meng yao starts working for nie enterprises when he’s 16 as a part-time janitor. he has two other part time jobs and is studying for his ged.

one day he solves some kind of problem that nie enterprises is having and nie mingjue likes this guy and promotes him to his personal assistant on the spot

nie huaisong is always flitting about his brother’s office etc, and they become friends and meng yao helps him with his homework.

when huaisong is getting ready to go to small posh private university, he will definitely need tutors. mingjue is happily persuaded into converting meng yao’s job into full-time huaisang babysitting tutoring, including paying for yao’s tuition and room and board to get a degree himself; his job is to make sure huaisang gets good grades and not in trouble. meng yao sees this for the golden ticket it is and very happily agrees. this is going to be the easiest job he’s ever had, and he’s got job security as long as huaisang doesn’t mess up too badly.

first day of classes, meng yao is 22 and looking around at the 30-odd 18-year-old trust fund babies with a sinking stomach telling him that he does not belong here.

this is a philosophy and ethics class like. in a literal ivory tower. this is possibly the last place he should be. 

and the most gorgeous man he’s ever seen in his life walks into the room with the professor. and he’s introduced as “and this is our TA, lan xichen.”

lan xichen smiles at the room with the kind of look that makes it feel like he’s making eye contact with everyone. and then he makes real eye contact with meng yao. “he’s attractive as hell,” they both think, and then think nothing of it.

but, it’s a small class. and it meets 3 times a week. and lan xichen shuts down someone who pokes at meng yao’s age, and meng yao asks questions perfectly tailored to making sure that huaisang and the other students actually understand the material. and by the end of week 2 they’re both saddled with an extremely unfortunate crush that they both need to get a handle on. for professionalism’s sake. they’re at work goddamn it.

and one day meng yao comes to office hours to ask a question that’s much more advanced than what they’re talking about in class, and in lan xichen’s tiny ta office talking about ethics, they are exceptionally and perfectly polite and appropriate and within the exact bounds of a ta-student relationship.

they are also both about to catch on fire.

this continues all school year, because it’s a two-part class. meng yao comes to office hours, and he and lan xichen are stringently appropriate the whole time, and at no point do they so much as brush fingers. they see each other every single day. 

huaisang thinks this is 1) absolutely hilarious and 2) the perfect distraction. he wingmans the hell out of meng yao in class, he third-wheels on office hours specifically to make it worse, and he arranges “chance” meetings between them outside of class. (he got some details about lan xichen’s daily schedule from wei wuxian, who he is eternally surprised is actually somehow getting information from lan wangji the silent wonder)

(he’s not getting it from lan wangji; lan xichen is wingmanning his little brother. the info wei wuxian is passing on is straight from the horse’s mouth.)

nie huaisang thinks he’s being very clever and sneaky in arranging his classes and portfolio to make it look like he’s just taking electives when he’s really planning on switching to a fine arts major at the last possible minute

he is being clever and sneaky, but meng yao knows what he’s doing anyway

meng yao is keeping that ball up in the air as long as he can though, because that’s a later-problem. 

in addition to falling in extremely professional love with his ta, his asshole dad has also come out of the woodwork and is trying to involve him in corporate espionage. which is less than super great. 

on the one side, asshole dad who hasn’t supported you in 22 years and didn’t care when your mother died when you were 16 and pushed you down the stairs because you had the audacity to ask for help, who will gladly frame you even if you don’t help. on the other hand, your boss, who has treated you well for a boss, but has explicitly told you your job depends on keeping his little brother as out-of-trouble as possible and who you don’t think will believe you

in this au, he’s solidly with the nie clan because: Golden Fucking Ticket, where the strings are “don’t let huaisang fuck up too bad,” and where “fuck up” means like. drunk driving or failing a class. he’ll probably even keep his job after huaisang’s art degree reveal. all dear old dad is offering is a jail sentence.

but he still needs to somehow convince jgs that he’s double-crossing nie enterprises without actually doing that, so that he doesn’t get framed for doing it.

it’s stressful.

lan xichen’s life isn’t roses and pearls either, though it’s not nearly as stressful as playing double-agent corporate espionage while also babysitting huaisang and getting a degree

lan xichen’s life is all about being the Dutiful Eldest Son so that lan wangji can have an inch of freedom

this includes becoming a corporate accountant (a job he’s bored just thinking about) and marrying a Good Girl From A Respectable Family (he is extremely gay), and eventually having 2.5 children and a white picket fence and a dog (he’s a cat person and doesn’t know what to do with children). he tells himself it’s all for lan wangji and it’s almost enough to make him want to do it.

being the ta for his thesis advisor’s philosophy and ethics class was supposed to be his Fun Indulgent Treat because he has no idea what “fun” or “indulgent” or “treat” mean

but now he’s in love with one of his students and that’s. not. good.

he’s all of 21 and he’s pretty sure he’s going to be blacklisted from all jobs for his entire life unless he manages, somehow, to keep anyone from knowing how entirely unprofessional he’s being. 

he is trying very hard to distract himself from his gayngst by helping wangji with his own. 18-year-olds can be so oblivious in love, he thinks, failing to see any irony at all.

he’s also been telling his bff mingjue about this extremely painful experience this entire time, under a pseudonym. if mingjue has to hear one more word about “Y”’s dimples, he’s going to scream and then he’s going to force Y into a closet with xichen and not let them out until they’ve solved this. he’s very tired.

at one point when he’s about to pass out from extreme eye contact, he gives meng yao his number so that he can “pass it to nie huaisang, in case he has any questions” and just. prays really hard that meng yao will text him after classes are over and he’s back to just being a grad student and they can be friends.

BUT. BEFORE HE HAS THE CHANCE. IN THAT TIME BETWEEN FINALS ENDING AND GRADES BEING TURNED IN.

lan xichen begins his summer internship at nie enterprises in accounting. and meng yao returns to fill in for an admin on her maternity leave. and they see each other in the break room. 

both of them: *internal gay screaming* Hi, what a coincidence, how are you doing? 

(boys, you are in different departments, nobody cares if you date as long as you don’t start fucking on the desks. they don’t know this because they’re young and very concerned with being Professional and with Career Advancement.)

they have Very Professional lunch together every day. and will buy each other coffee, Professionally. and it would be much more professional if they would just actually make out and then come to work like normal people instead of clearly wanting to make out every time they see each other and instead being Very Incredibly Professional with their words and actions.

mingjue clues in that this is Y. meng yao is Y. Oh my god, first i didn’t want to know that, second this is going to be so easy, and then i’ll never have to listen to xichen wax rhapsodic about his eyes again, he thinks.

he is incorrect. 

the harder he tries, the more vehemently perfect their professionalism becomes. which means he’s watching them have extremely intense eye contact at work and can’t actually say anything about it because, it’s just eye contact? what is he going to say? stop looking at people when delivering tps reports?

he also can’t say anything outright like “just. kiss. him.” because. he’s both of their Entire Boss. at the moment he’s xichen’s boss’s boss’s boss. he can’t do anything without probably violating sexual harassment laws.

mingjue is tired.

meanwhile the corporate espionage double-agent act is still ongoing and meng yao continues to be stressed

mingjue is alerted to meng yao “stealing” secrets and has a freak-out; he hasn’t slept in three days and he trusted meng yao and how could he? was this his plan all along WAS HE ONLY PRETENDING TO BE DELICATE AND POOR

xichen steps between them and insists there’s a reasonable explanation and jesus christ mingjue have you slept when was the last time you’ve eaten you look terrible let’s get you to bed and talk about this in the morning

(meng yao doesn’t realize that he’s clutched on to lan xichen’s suit until after he releases it and lan xichen is trying, very hard, to pretend that it didn’t happen because he won’t be able to think of anything else if it did)

xichen, immediately after mingjue is in huaisang’s care: i believe you, but what the fuck is happening, yao.

(if he wasn’t so rattled by the entire mingjue-reaming thing yao would be able to savor lan xichen saying fuck sooooo much better.)

(once yao explains it is a strain not to kiss him right then and there in that empty conference room but he deserves better than lan xichen, who can’t bring anything to the table and can’t even bring him home to eat at his table, because he is the Dutiful Eldest Son and his closet needs to be made of motherfuckin steel)

(huaisang knows exactly what the fuck is up and talks mingjue down, because meng yao is sneaky but he wasn’t counting on huaisang like. actually caring.) 

this is also the exact same day where lan wangji brings wei wuxian home for dinner and this goes. as well as might be expected. given Uncle hates everything about wei wuxian from his motorcycle to his leather to his attitude. but wangji is happy and he’s smiling and that’s why lan xichen is doing this. that’s why lan xichen is doing everything. 

the next day the 3-zun make a Plan to trap jgs and then get them audited by the irs, since if he’s doing shady espionage stuff he’s also almost certainly doing shady tax stuff (they’re right, he is)

after the internship is over, that very evening, lan xichen asks meng yao if he wants to “hang out, as friends”

oh, you thought this pining dysfunctional trainwreck was going to end here? buddy. lan xichen is in fucking narnia, he’s so deep in the closet, because he must be Dutiful.

they go on several not-a-dates doing Friend Things. and several study sessions where no studying is done. and eventually.

lan qiren: so when are you introducing me to your boyfriend? he seems like a good kid, nothing like that wei wuxian character

lan xichen.exe has stopped working

lan qiren: what, do you think i’m blind? he either is your boyfriend or he should be. good head on his shoulders. *returns to his newspaper*

turns out lan xichen’s self-sacrificial bargain with the universe was borne from a place of living in a heteropatriarchy and not actually from the reality of his uncle’s beliefs, who knew

(lan qiren loves his nephews and wants them to be happy. he also has eyes, in his head, that connect to his brain. he knew xichen was probably gay by the time the kid was 14, and started reading books with titles like “how to accept your gay son” in the living room. xichen assumed this was about wangji, because he also has eyes and wants his baby brother to be happy. wangji bringing a boy home was actually a big surprise to his uncle. this family does not actually talk to each other about things.)

anyway the next friend-not-a-date that he and yao go on, he asks yao on a real date.

he is bracing for rejection when yao kisses??? him???? for some reason?????

they make out &c. this is the boring part

they have a conversation about their feelings and discover that they’ve both been in love for a year a YEAR a fucking year. then they make out some more because lost time.

fin.

[duggardata]

Nurie + Nathan Are Married!

Get The Data Here...  Firstborn, ESOQ, and More!

On Saturday, July 25, 2020, Nurie Katelin Rodrigues and Nathan Edward Keller exchanged vows at the Mennonite Christian Assembly Church; Fredericksburg, Ohio.  Nurie is the first Rodrigues Child to marry, and will thus blaze the trail for her siblings in terms of establishing the data for the Rodrigues Clan.  Fun!

Read on for all the details, including—

How old were Nurie + Nathan when they started courting?

How long was Nurie + Nathan’s Pre–C.S., Courtship, and Engagement?

How does the relationship timeline compare to the Overall (All Predictor Couples) Averages and the Keller Averages?

Based on Overall and Keller Data, when should we expect baby news?

What’s their ESOQ, as of now?

Age at Courtship

Unfortunately, we don’t know the exact date that Nathan ‘courposed’ to Nurie; however, Duggar Data uses June 11, 2019 as an Estimated ‘Courtposal’ Date.  (Explanation here and here.)  I think there is a good chance that that’s actually the date that they started courting, FWIW.

Nurie’s DOB is April 19, 1999, and Nathan’s is April 23, 1996.  So, on June 11, 2019, Nurie was Age 20.15 and Nathan was Age 23.13...  Both data points are critical to the Rodrigues Family data, since the Predictor uses Age at C.S. data to predict when new courtships will start.  Nurie is the only Rodrigues to enter an official courtship, so far—so, at this point, the Predictor thinks that Timothy, Kaylee, Renée etc., will all start courting at the same age Nurie + Nathan did...  Age 20.15 for Females and Age 23.13 for Males.

Relationship Timeline

Here’s Nurie + Nathan’s complete relationship timeline—

Pre–C.S.   April 23, 2019

Courtship   c. June 11, 2019  (See Above)

Proposal   November 9, 2019

Wedding   July 25, 2020

... and, after quickly doing the math, here’s how long each stage lasted—

Pre–C.S. to Courtship   ~49 Days  (7 Weeks)

Courtship to Proposal   ~151 Days  (5.0 Months)

Proposal to Wedding   237 Days  (7.8 Months)

Pre–C.S. to Wedding   437 Days  (14.4 Months)

Courtship to Wedding   ~388 Days  (12.7 Months)

As with the Age at Courtship data, these durations now provide the sole basis for estimating the trajectory of future Rodrigues Relationships.  (When another Rodrigues courts, their data will obviously be added in.  But, for now, all we’ve got is this!)

For context, here’s the average durations for the Overall (All Predictor Couples) and Quiverfull Keller datasets—

Pre–C.S. to Courtship   166 Days (Overall) / 29 Days (Keller)

Courtship to Proposal   181 Days (Overall) / 126 Days (Keller)

Proposal to Wedding   122 Days (Overall) / 137 Days (Keller)

Pre–C.S. to Wedding   482 Days (Overall) / 302 Days (Keller) 

Courtship to Wedding   304 Days (Overall) / 270 Days (Keller)

When To Expect Keller–Rodrigues #1

This one is tricky because, as we’ve established, there’s no Rodrigues Data to refer to, here.  (Even Jill’s data isn’t too useful, since her 1st Pregnancy ended with a miscarriage and we don’t have exact data on the timing.)  But, let’s just do out best with what we’ve got—the Overall (All Predictor Couples) Data and the Keller Family Data.

Overall Data.  Overall, across all of the Predictor Couples, it’s ‘typical’ to have one’s Firstborn after 395 Days (~13 Months) of marriage.  It is also ‘typical’ to announce the pregnancy at 88 Days Along (12 Weeks, 4 Days), and then give birth 1 Day Early.  There is quite a bit of variation in all of this, however.  Gaps from Wedding to Firstborn vary by a SD of ±117 Days, Announcement Timing varies by a SD of ±38 Days, and Delivery Timing varies by a SD of ±7 Days.

Based on that, here’s when we can expect Keller–Rodrigues #1 to arrive—

If Exactly Average   August 24, 2021

If They’re Early (–1 SD)   April 29, 2021

If They’re Late (+1 SD)   December 19, 2021

... and, here’s when we could expect baby news for an Average, Early, or Late Firstborn, depending on how long they wait to announce—

Average Firstborn   2–14–21 (Average) / 1–7–21 to 3–24–21 (±1 SD)

Early Firstborn   10–20–20 (Average) / 9–12–20 to 11–27–20 (±1 SD)

Late Firstborn   6–11–21 (Average) / 5–4–21 to 7–19–21 (±1 SD)

(Note—One of those dates is Valentine’s Day.  Another is the “anniversary” of their [Estimated] Courtposal.  Another is just next month!)

Keller Data.  Now, if we look at data from the Quiverfull Kellers, it is ‘typical’ to have one’s Firstborn 408 Days (~13 Months) into one’s marriage.  (This varies by an SD of 32 Days).  Additionally, it’s ‘typical’ to announce the pregnancy at 97 Days Along (13 Weeks, 6 Days) (SD, ±46 Days), then deliver 2 Days Late.

Based on the Keller Data, as opposed to the Overall Data, here’s when Keller–Rodrigues #1 might arrive—

If Exactly Average   September 6, 2021 

If They’re Early (–1 SD)   August 5, 2021

If They’re Late (+1 SD)   October 8, 2021

... and finally, when they might announce an Average, Early, or Late Firstborn, depending on how long they wait to announce—

If Exactly Average   3–5–21 (Average) / 1–18–21 to 4–20–21 (±1 SD)

If They’re Early   2–1–21 (Average) / 12–17–20 to 3–19–20 (±1 SD) 

If They’re Late   4–6–21 (Average) / 2–19–21 to 5–22–21 (±1 SD)

As you can see, the Keller Data range is much narrower than the Overall Data.  (Those Keller women are really, really consistent!)

How Many Children For Nurie + Nathan?

Before we can answer this, we’ll need to calculate a Fertility Cut–Off for Nurie...  Consistent with Predictor rules, Nurie’s Fertility Cut–Off is linked to her mom’s—i.e., Jill Rodrigues’s—fertility.  (Details in this Post.)  Here, the Fertility Cut–Off is Age 40.00, since J–Rod’s quiver might not be complete, and she last gave birth (to Janessa) when she was <40 Years Old.  Nurie’s 40th Birthday / Fertility Cut–Off is April 19, 2039.

With that in mind, let’s again refer to the two relevant datasets, starting with...

Overall Data.  The Overall Average Firstborn Spacing is 395 Days, as discussed above.  Overall, your average ‘slow down’ for Baby #2 is 1.4118x the Marriage–to–Firstborn pace—or, 395 Days x 1.4118 = 558 Days.  That is the Presumptive Procreative Pace for children after Child #2, too.  (At least, until better data can be had!)  Given this and Nurie’s Fertility Cut–Off, Nurie + Nathan have sufficient time to cultivate an impressive quiver of 12 Children.  More, if she has twins.

Keller Data.  Turning to the Keller Data...  The Average Firstborn Spacing is 409 Days, as discussed above, while the 2nd Child Multiplier is 1.3083x.  So, that’s a Presumptive Procreative Pace of 1 Child Every 533 Days.  Doing the math...  At that pace, Nurie + Nathan might be expected to have a slightly–larger quiver of 13 Children.

We’ll have to wait and see what happens!

[mascbi]

(This is a copy of a post originally made on the old mascbi tumblr, now deactivated, on October 5th 2019)

We’ve reached 1200 responses to my survey on bisexuality so I think the sample size is now large enough for me to make some observations and write down some thoughts as to the first results of the study.  (Note: reached 1300 responses while I was compiling this post.)

This post will contain the statistical results to all questions asked during the survey as well as a link to a spreadsheet of all individual responses.

To start off with, a disclaimer: any study cannot stand on its own. The scientific method requires a study to be repeated multiple times to be able to claim its results as legitimate. Moreover, this survey concerns not the entire bisexual community, but a very small portion of bisexual people, specifically ones active on Tumblr who had access to and were interested in the survey. For these reasons, anything found in this survey can be interpreted as nothing more than an indication or observation on a small sample of the bisexual community. It may be useful to observe trends or tendencies in the bisexual community on Tumblr but cannot speak for or establish facts about the entire bisexual community. To reflect this, I will use the term “respondent” to identify a person who took the survey, rather than making any generalities by using wording like “x% of bisexual people…”.

A few other things:

Many questions included the possibility for respondents to check all that applied to their beliefs or experiences.

I’ll give a link to the spreadsheet containing all answers to the study at the bottom of the post, so you may read through it if you so wish. Multiple people made use of the “other (specify)” and “is there anything more you’d like to say” answers to type personal thoughts or give details on their answers, those are available on the spreadsheet.

Many of the answers in “other (specify)” fit under already existing answers. In that case, I’ll count them as part of the statistics on the larger answer. (For example: people who answered “have you ever cheated on a partner?” with “other” and typed “I’ve never had a partner” will be counted under “no”). I’ll take specific note of the “other” answers when they don’t fit under an existing answer, or when they give context or information that is relevant and should not be left out.

I’m rounding up most of the percentages given here because the survey is still going, therefore the exact decimal numbers are constantly slightly changing (so for example a percentage might go from 21.8% to 22% while I’m typing this). Note that those results seem to remain accurate throughout time: I wrote down percentages on demographics at 600 responses, then now again at 1200, but no percentage has changed by more than 2%.

Table of contents:

1. Demographics (contains details of age, gender, ethnicity, and other factors about the survey. This section should be considered carefully before making any observations on the results of the survey, especially the gender disparity.)

2. Definitions of bisexuality (contains discussions of how individuals define bisexuality in general, their own bisexuality personally, as well as questions about different gender-based attraction).

3. Relationship to the LGBT+ community (explores presence in LGBT+ spaces, experiences of biphobia within LGBT+ spaces, and sense of community with other LGBT+ groups).

4. Bisexuality and biphobia outside the LGBT+ community (explores respondents’ experiences of their bisexuality in every day life out of LGBT+ spaces, in their family, social circles, and intimate relationships, as well as experiences with biphobia.)

5. Personal relationship to bisexuality (this section discusses how individuals live their relationship to their bisexuality, bisexual pride, internalized biphobia, and the process of identifying as bisexual throughout time.)

6. Bisexuality and gender (explores how bisexuality relates to gender identity, gender presentation, and gender non-conformity.)

7. LGBT+ terms and privileges (goes into questions of lateral oppression as well as the right to use some LGBT+ terms and feelings about bi-specific terms).

8. Bisexual stereotypes and misconceptions (explores respondents’ relationships to stereotypes about bisexuality, as well as what stereotypes respondents have seen applied to themselves.)

1. Demographics

A majority of the respondents were older teens or adults, with the main age demographics being 20 to 25 (45%) and 16 to 19 (35%). 12% of respondents were aged 26 to 35. 5% were 13 to 15. About 2% were over 35. No respondents were under 13.

Most respondents have identified as bisexual for 2 to 10 years: 27% for 3 to 5 years, 26% from 5 to 10 years, and 22% from 2 to 3 years. 10% have identified as bisexual for 6 months to a year, and 1% have identified as bisexual for less than a month. 8% have identified as bisexual for 10 to 20 years, and 1% for more than 20 years.

44% of respondents identified as women. 12% identified as men. 15% identify as nonbinary and female-aligned. 9% identified as nonbinary and male-aligned. 17% of respondents identified as nonbinary and unaligned or multi-gendered. The remaining participants indicated identifying as neither women, men, nor nonbinary, which included people with genders other than woman or man who didn’t use the term nonbinary, people questioning or unsure of their gender, and people with culturally specific genders who did not identify as nonbinary.

48% of respondents identified as cisgender. 34% identify as transgender. 17% identify as neither (note: the survey specified that this option was only for non-binary people who don’t identify as cisgender nor transgender, and does not account for cisgender people who don’t like the word cisgender).

97% of respondents indicated they were not intersex. 2% preferred not to say whether they were intersex. Less than 1% of respondents indicated they were intersex.

72% of respondents are white. Other ethnicities include people mixed with white (16%), Asian people (all parts of Asia confounded, 9%, with smaller percentages based on the region), black people (6%), ethnically Jewish people (5%), Native Americans (4%), and people uncertain of their ethnic background (2%). 2% of respondents identified their ethnicity as Latine, Hispanic, or mestizo/a. Other percentages were under 1%.

12% of respondents identified as Hispanic or Latine.

30% of respondents are middle class. 25% are low income/working class. 23% are lower middle class. 14% are upper middle class. 4% of respondents live in poverty. Less than 1% of respondents are upper class. 4% preferred not to indicate their economic background or weren’t sure of what they’d qualify as.

21% of respondents are disabled.

81% of respondents are mentally ill.

71% of respondents live in North America. 21% live in Europe. 5% live in Oceania. 2% live in South America. 1% live in Asia. Less than 1% live in Africa. Less than 1% live in the Caribbean.

2. Defining bisexuality.

When asked to define bisexuality in general:

50% of respondents define bisexuality as attraction to all genders.

44% define it as attraction to multiple genders.

42% define it as attraction to one’s own gender and other genders.

40% define it as attraction to two or more genders.

37% define it as attraction regardless of gender.

10% define it as attraction to both sexes.

8% define it as attraction to two genders.

5% of respondents didn’t have a clear definition of bisexuality.

1% of respondents indicated other definitions

When asked to define their bisexuality specifically:

43% of respondents defined their bisexuality as attraction to all genders.

34% defined it as attraction regardless of gender.

29% defined it as attraction to one’s own gender and others.

24% defined it as attraction to multiple genders.

19% defined it as attraction to two or more genders.

8% defined it as attraction to both sexes.

5% defined it as attraction to two genders.

5% of respondents didn’t have a clear definition of their own bisexuality.

2% of respondents gave other definitions of their own bisexuality.

More than 99% of respondents believe that bisexual people can be attracted to binary transgender people.

More than 99% of respondents believe that bisexual people can be attracted to nonbinary people.

91% of respondents do not believe that all bisexual people have a gender preference.

62% of respondents believe that all bisexual people experience attraction to different genders in different ways.

83% of respondents indicate they are attracted to all genders.

For respondents who were not attracted to all genders:

18% of respondents indicate being attracted to women.

16% of respondents indicate being attracted to men.

11% of respondents indicate being attracted to female-aligned nonbinary people.

11% of respondents indicate being attracted to male-aligned nonbinary people.

10% of respondents indicate being attracted to unaligned nonbinary people.

7% of respondents indicate being attracted to genderless or multi-gendered people.

1% of respondents indicate different gender-specific attraction, such as attraction to anyone who isn’t a cisgender man, or having a difficulty to answer due to not being sure or not knowing enough nonbinary people.

When asked about having a preference for one or more genders over others:

38% of respondents indicated having a preference for women.

35% of respondents indicated they do not have a preference based on gender.

26% of respondents indicated a preference for female-aligned nonbinary people.

26% of respondents indicated a preference for men.

20% of respondents indicated a preference for male-aligned nonbinary people.

18% of respondents indicated a preference for unaligned nonbinary people.

14% of respondents indicated a preference for genderless or multi-gendered people.

5% of respondents indicated their preference fluctuates, they have a preference based on presentation, they have a preference for people who are not cisgender, or they are uncertain of their preference, and other personal answers.

78% of respondents indicated they feel attraction differently based on gender.

3. Relationship to the LGBT+ community.

96% of respondents consider themselves part of the LGBT+ community. 4% do not.

When asked about their presence in real-life LGBT+ spaces:

40% of respondents have participated in one or a few LGBT+ events, but don’t have a regular presence in real-life LGBT+ spaces.

37% of respondents have not participated in LGBT+ real-life spaces but have several LGBT+ real-life friends.

15% of respondents are present and active in real-life LGBT+ spaces.

6% of respondents have not participated in real-life LGBT+ spaces and don’t have real-life LGBT+ friends.

2% of respondents gave other answers, many citing inability to participate in real-life LGBT+ spaces due to a lack of local LGBT+ events or living in homophobic areas.

When asked about their presence in online LGBT+ spaces:

50% of respondents follow/read/participate in a few LGBT+ online spaces but don’t have a regular presence in them.

28% of respondents are present and active in LGBT+ online spaces.

18% of respondents don’t participate in LGBT+ online spaces but have several LGBT+ online friends.

4% of respondents don’t participate in LGBT+ online spaces and don’t have LGBT+ online friends.

When asked about their relationship to the LGBT+ community (not repeated but also indicated at this question: percentage of people who do not identify as LGBT+):

37% of respondents feel strong solidarity with all of the LGBT+ community.

31% of respondents feel some solidarity with all of the LGBT+ community.

23% of respondents feel strong solidarity with some groups of the LGBT+ community, but not all.

7% of respondents don’t feel a strong solidarity with the rest of the LGBT+ community.

When asked if they feel a stronger sense of community with some parts of the LGBT+ community:

23% of respondents feel the same sense of community with all of the LGBT+ community.

53% of respondents feel a stronger sense of community with transgender people.

50% of respondents feel a stronger sense of community with nonbinary people.

47% of respondents feel a stronger sense of community with lesbians.

25% of respondents feel a stronger sense of community with gay men.

20% of respondents feel a stronger sense of community with pansexual/polysexual/omnisexual people.

16% of respondents feel a stronger sense of community with asexual/aromantic people.

Most “other” responses included wanting to indicate a stronger sense of community with bisexual people over others (this was not an answer on the survey because this question aimed at observing the relationship between bisexual people and other LGBT+ groups). Other “other” responses included LGBT+ people of color and intersex people.

When asked if they felt a weaker or no sense of community with some LGBT+ groups:

22% indicated they feel the same amount of community with all LGBT+ groups.

50% of respondents indicated they feel weaker or no community with asexual/aromantic people.

42% of respondents indicated they feel weaker or no community with pansexual/polysexual/omnisexual people.

29% of respondents indicated they feel weaker or no community with gay men.

15% of respondents indicated they feel weaker or no community with lesbians.

6% of respondents indicated they feel weaker or no community with nonbinary people.

4% of respondents indicated they feel weaker or no community with transgender people.

3% of respondents included other responses, with a prevalence of cisgender people (who were not an option because cisgender people are not an LGBT+ group).

When asked how they feel their bisexuality is treated in LGBT+ spaces (online or offline):

42% of respondents feel somewhat heard, respected and supported.

30% of respondents feel they are somewhat erased, disrespected or not shown support.

17% of respondents feel they are not heard, respected or supported enough.

7% of respondents feel very heard, respected and supported.

4% of respondents feel extremely erased, disrespected or not shown support.

2% of respondents gave other answers, with a prevalence for being closeted, and not talking about their bisexuality in LGBT+ spaces.

When asked about their experience of biphobia within real-life LGBT+ spaces:

52% of respondents did not have enough experience with real-life LGBT+ spaces to form an opinion.

16% of respondents have never felt biphobia in real-life LGBT+ spaces.

24% of respondents felt their bisexuality was erased.

16% have been made to feel that their acceptance in real-life LGBT+ spaces was conditional because of their bisexuality.

14% have been spoken over or shut down about their bisexuality.

9% have been insulted or mocked for their bisexuality.

2% of respondents gave other responses, including several experiences of biphobia that did not fit under the offered answers.

When asked if they had experienced biphobia in online LGBT+ spaces:

23% of respondents don’t have enough experience with online LGBT+ spaces to form an opinion.

14% of respondents have never experienced biphobia in online LGBT+ spaces.

44% of respondents have felt their bisexuality was erased in LGBT+ spaces.

32% have been made to feel that their acceptance in online LGBT+ spaces was conditional because of their bisexuality.

27% have been spoken over or shut down about their bisexuality.

20% have been mocked or insulted for their bisexuality.

2% of respondents gave other answers, including experiences of biphobia that did not fit under the offered answers.

Hundreds of respondents gave a personal answer when asked if they’d like to say more about their experiences in the LGBT+ community. A lot of these answers include talk about their experiences with biphobia and bi erasure in the LGBT+ community. These answers are available in the survey’s responses.

4. Bisexuality and biphobia outside the LGBT+ community.

When asked whether they were out as bisexual in real life:

60% of respondents are out to their close friends.

41% are out to everyone significant enough to warrant coming out to.

28% are out to casual friends.

28% are out to siblings.

26% are out to their parents.

12% are out to their coworkers or classmates.

9% are out to other family members.

11% are out online, but not in real life.

2% are not out to anyone, online or in real life.

When asked whether they were out to their significant other:

59% of respondents indicated they do not currently have a significant other.

40% of respondents have a significant other who knows they are bisexual.

1% of respondents have a significant other and are not out to them as bisexual.

Less than 1% of respondents have more than one significant other, and are out as bisexual to one or more but not all.

When asked how their bisexuality was received by the people they are out to (note: this question asked to check all that applies to all people respondents are out to. It is possible for respondents to both report that they feel supported and that they do not feel supported, if different people have responded differently to their bisexuality.):

47% of respondents feel very supported by the people they are out to.

47% of respondents feel somewhat supported by the people they are out to.

23% feel supported by friends, but not family.

16% answered that they people they are out to ignore their bisexuality or don’t believe it is real.

5% indicated that their being out is a source of stress, harassment or mockery from the people they are out to.

5% indicated they don’t feel supported or respected by the people they are out to.

Less than 1% feel they are supported by their family, but not their friends.

6% of respondents gave other responses about the reception of their bisexuality by the people in their life.

When asked if their significant was also bisexual (not repeated here: percentage of respondents who do not have a significant other):

19% of respondents indicated their significant other is not bisexual.

18% of respondents indicated their significant other is also bisexual.

3% of respondents are not sure whether their significant other is bisexual.

2% of respondents have more than one significant other, with one or more, but not all being bisexual.

When asked how their current significant other received their bisexuality

(not repeated here: percentage of respondents who do not have a significant other or are not out to them):

36% indicate their current significant other is very supportive of their bisexuality.

4% indicate their significant other is somewhat supportive of their bisexuality.

1% indicate their significant other has accused them of cheating because of their bisexuality.

Less than 1% indicate their significant other has made them feel that the respondent’s bisexuality is less valid or moral than their sexuality.

Less than 1% indicate their significant other has made them feel ashamed of their bisexuality.

Less than 1% indicate their significant other is angered or offended by their bisexuality, or finds it threatening.

Less than 1% indicate their significant other doesn’t want them to talk about their bisexuality or seems ashamed of it.

Less than 1% indicate their significant other doesn’t believe in their bisexuality.

Less than 1% indicate their significant other uses their bisexuality to coerce them into sexual acts they do not want.

Less than 1% indicate their significant other is not supportive of their bisexuality.

2% of respondents gave other answers about the reception of their bisexuality by their significant other, such as mentioning that their partner became more supportive with time or that they don’t discuss their bisexuality with their partner.

When asked how their bisexuality was received by significant others in past relationships:

27% of respondents have never had a significant other in the past.

30% of respondents had past significant others who were very supportive of their bisexuality.

15% had past significant others who were somewhat supportive of their bisexuality.

14% were never out to any past significant others.

10% have been accused of cheating because of their bisexuality.

9% had past significant others who did not want them to talk about their bisexuality.

9% had past significant others who did not believe in their bisexuality.

9% had past significant others who did used their bisexuality to coerce them into sexual acts they did not want.

8% had past significant others who made them feel that the respondent’s bisexuality was less valid or moral than theirs.

8% had past significant others who were angered, offended, or threatened by their bisexuality.

8% had past significant others who made them feel ashamed of their bisexuality.

6% had past significant others who were not supportive of their bisexuality.

3% had past significant others who mocked, harassed, insulted, beat, or otherwise abused them because of their bisexuality.

8% of respondents gave other responses about their experiences with past partners, including only being out to some partners, not identifying as bisexual in past relationships, as well as other experiences of biphobia from past significant others.

When asked whether, regardless of the perpetrators (this question included strangers), they had experienced any of the following:

76% of respondents indicated their bisexuality was treated as a phase, a lie, or a cry for attention.

75% of respondents indicated their bisexuality was treated as a curiosity or a joke.

50% of respondents have been mocked, harassed or insulted on the basis of their bisexuality.

39% of respondents indicated their bisexuality was treated as a sexual fetish or that they were expected to participate in sexual acts they did not want because of their bisexuality.

21% have been sexually harassed on the basis of their bisexuality.

8% have faced sexual violence other than rape on the basis of their bisexuality.

7% have faced violence on the basis of their bisexuality.

4% have been raped on the basis of their bisexuality.

4% of respondents gave other answers, including experiences of biphobia that did not fit the offered answers.

5. Personal relationship to bisexuality.

Respondents were asked to check all that apply to their current personal feelings about their bisexuality.

70% of respondents take pride in their bisexuality.

25% hide their bisexuality from others.

20% want everyone to know they’re bisexual.

8% feel ashamed of their bisexuality.

4% wish they weren’t bisexual.

46% find that being bisexual informs their experiences in life.

43% find that being bisexual informs their relationships to others.

40% say that being bisexual is a huge part of their identity.

25% say that being bisexual isn’t a very important or defining part of them - it’s just one thing among others.

53% say that if they could choose to be straight, they would still be bisexual.

42% say if they could choose to be gay, they would still be bisexual.

11% say if they could choose to be gay, they would.

3% say if they could choose to be straight, they would.

40% feel they’re “not bisexual enough”.

38% still question their bisexuality and are never sure they’re really bisexual.

29% feel they’re “not LGBT enough” because of their bisexuality.

16% find that bisexual feels like a dirty word, and they have a hard time calling themselves bisexual even though they know they are.

15% feel guilt because of their bisexuality.

4% of respondents gave other answers about their relationship to their bisexuality, including mentions of conflicting feelings about bisexuality.

Respondents were asked to check all that applied to their past feelings about their bisexuality:

57% have had a hard time accepting their bisexuality and questioned themselves constantly.

56% have had a hard time admitting that they were bisexual, to themselves or others.

38% struggled with the bisexual label, felt like bisexual was a dirty word, or tried to call themselves other labels to avoid saying “bisexual”.

37% have been ashamed of their bisexuality.

31% have wished they weren’t bisexual.

30% have identified as pansexual/omnisexual/polysexual before realizing they were bisexual.

29% have identified as a gay man or a lesbian before realizing they were bisexual.

24% have known they were bisexual as soon as they knew bisexuality existed.

19% have been proud of their bisexuality ever since they realized they were bisexual.

6% of respondents gave other answers about their past feelings about their bisexuality.

Respondents were asked if they identified as another orientation other than straight before identifying as bisexual, and if so, why.

24% of respondents have only identified as bisexual.

32% say they had a preference for the same/similar gender and felt it made them gay/a lesbian.

28% say they were afraid to accept their different-gender attraction due to heteronormative pressures, trauma, or other reasons.

28% say they were afraid to accept their same-gender attraction due to homophobia, trauma, or other reasons.

27% say they identified as another sexuality because they believed bisexuality wasn’t inclusive enough.

24% say they were afraid to identify as bisexual due to stereotype or stigma against bisexuality.

19% say they didn’t know any bisexual people and didn’t have an idea of what bisexuality could be.

17% say they were pressured by others to identify as another LGBT+ identity.

16% say they didn’t fit stereotypes about bisexuality and thought it meant they weren’t bisexual.

10% say they believed they weren’t bisexual because they didn’t have a gender preference or didn’t experience attraction differently based on gender.

5% say they believed bisexuality wasn’t real.

11% of respondents gave other responses about identifying as another non-straight orientation.

6. Bisexuality and gender.

When asked whether their bisexuality informs their gender identity:

42% of respondents said their bisexuality doesn’t inform their gender.

28% say they feel a connection between their nonbinary identity and their bisexuality.

26% say they feel more connected to their gender because of their bisexuality.

23% say their bisexuality and their gender are inextricably linked.

11% say they feel less connected to their gender because of their bisexuality.

3% of respondents gave other responses about the relationship between their gender and their bisexuality.

When asked whether their bisexuality informs their gender presentation:

45% of respondents said their bisexuality does not inform their gender presentation.

34% say they present in a way that they feel reflects their bisexuality.

22% say their gender presentation is linked to their same-gender attraction.

22% say their gender and their bisexuality are inextricably linked, and so is their gender presentation.

9% say their gender presentation is linked to their different-gender attraction.

3% of respondents gave other answers about their relationship between their bisexuality and their gender presentation.

When asked whether they consider themselves gender non-conforming:

47% of respondents said they are GNC.

45% of respondents said they are not GNC.

8% of respondents gave other answers (most of them uncertain of whether they were GNC, or saying they are GNC sometimes).

When asked whether their gender non-conformity was linked to their bisexuality (not repeated here: percentage of respondents who are not gender non-conforming):

23% say they’re GNC because their bisexuality and their experience of gender are inextricably linked.

21% are GNC, but it isn’t linked to their bisexuality.

16% are GNC because it’s their way of expressing their sexuality.

10% are GNC to signal interest to potential same-gender partners.

3% of respondents gave other responses about the link between their gender non-conformity and their bisexuality.

When asked whether they had more to say on the relation between their gender and their sexuality, over a hundred respondents wrote personal answers, often discussing a shifting or fluid relationship to their gender and presentation linked to their bisexuality. These answers are available in the survey responses.

7. LGBT+ terminology and privileges.

10% of respondents use the term “monosexual” to talk about people only attracted to one gender.

21% believe in monosexual privilege.

12% use the term “straight-passing” to describe bisexual people in M/F relationships. 26% believe in straight-passing privilege.

(Note: all questions about privilege indicated that the respondent must give their feelings on whether a group experiences privilege over another based on sexuality alone, not on gender.)

83% do not believe lesbians have privilege over bisexual people.

12% believe lesbians have privilege over bisexual people.

5% had other answers, with a prevalence for feeling lesbians sometimes have privilege over bisexual people, or that the question it depends on the situation and circumstances.

78% believe gay men do not have privilege over bisexual people.

17% believe gay men have privilege over bisexual people.

5% had other answers, with the same tendency towards the idea circumstantial privilege as the previous question.

91% feel bisexual people do not have privilege over lesbians.

5% believe bisexual people have privilege over lesbians.

4% gave other answers, with the same tendency towards the idea of circumstantial privilege as previous questions. Several indicate feeling that bisexual people do have privilege when in M/F relationship.

92% feel bisexual people do not have privilege over gay men.

5% believe bisexual people have privilege over gay men.

3% gave other answers, with the same tendency towards the idea of circumstantial privilege as previous questions. Several indicate feeling that bisexual people do have privilege when in M/F relationship.

When asked whether they believe terms like twink/bear/etc are exclusive to gay men:

34% of respondents do not have an opinion.

48% believe these terms include bisexual men.

9% believe bisexual men can call themselves these terms only when they are in M/M relationships.

6% believe these terms are exclusive to gay men.

3% gave other answers.

When asked whether they believe the terms butch/femme are exclusive to lesbians:

21% of respondents do not have an opinion.

45% believe these terms include bisexual women.

19% believe these terms are exclusive to lesbians.

10% believe bisexual women can call themselves these terms only when they are in F/F relationships.

5% gave other answers.

When asked how they feel about the terms stag/doe:

27% of respondents do not know these terms.

25% have a neutral opinion.

25% don’t like the terms, but respect people using them.

17% like the terms, but do not use them.

10% find these terms offensive or dehumanizing.

3% like the terms and use them.

5% gave other answers.

When asked how they feel about the terms knight/mage:

55% of respondents do not know these terms.

15% have a neutral opinion.

17% don’t like the terms, but respect people using them.

10% like the terms, but do not use them.

5% find the terms offensive or dehumanizing.

2% like the terms and use them.

4% gave other answers.

When asked whether they believe bisexual people can call themselves gay:

72% say bisexual people can always call themselves gay.

20% say bisexual people can call themselves gay, but only in the context of same-gender relationships or attraction.

3% said bisexual people cannot call themselves gay.

1% said bisexual people can only call themselves gay when they aren’t in an M/F relationship.

4% gave other answers, often saying they have no opinion or don’t care, or that bisexual people can call themselves gay but it is confusing or erases their bisexuality.

When asked whether they’d like to say more about LGBT+ terms and privilege between LGBT+ people, over a hundred people gave personal answers. They are available in the survey responses.

8. Bisexual stereotypes and misconceptions.

When asked whether they feel a pressure not to conform to stereotypes about bisexual people:

38% of respondents say they do not feel pressure to not conform to stereotypes.

27% say they genuinely do not conform to any stereotypes about bisexuality.

20% say they lie about or hide their attraction to some genders or people to avoid conforming to stereotypes.

17% say they lie about or hide their interest in some sexual acts.

15% say they lie about or hide their interest in non-monogamy.

14% say they lie about or hide their interest in threesomes.

13% say they lie about or hide their gender preference.

5% say they avoid dressing or presenting in some ways to avoid fitting stereotypes.

17% say they call themselves “slutty”, a “bihet”, a “traitor”, or other insults targeted at bisexual people to reclaim them.

11% say they are open about their sexuality and interest in sex because they have been made to feel guilty about it due to their bisexuality.

8% say they purposefully fit stereotypes about bisexuality to rebel against the pressure to not fit them.

4% say they are open about their non-monogamy because they have been made to feel guilty about it due to their bisexuality.

2% of respondents gave other answers.

When asked whether they are polyamorous:

66% of respondents say they are not.

18% say they might be, but they are afraid to explore it due to stigma against polyamorous people.

15% say they are polyamorous.

12% say they might be, but they are afraid to explore it due to stigma against bisexual polyamorous people.

When asked whether they had ever cheated on a partner:

91% of respondents said they had not.

7% of respondents said they had.

Less than 1% gave an answer saying that they had, but indicated specific circumstances (it was as a teenager, it was emotional cheating but they didn’t act on it, they were in an abusive relationship…).

When asked whether they had been approached for a threesome by a couple, when they had made no indication of interest in threesomes, being open to sexual advances, or interest in the people approaching them:

71% said they had not been approached for an unwanted threesome.

23% said they had, and found it upsetting.

7% said they had, but didn’t mind it.

3% gave other answers (often detailing experiences with unwarranted sexual advances).

When asked whether they had been assumed to be “available for sex” due to their bisexuality:

64% said they had not (several said “no” in the “other” answers, and said it was because they are not out).

36% said they had.

Less than 1% gave other answers, often saying they weren’t sure or didn’t know whether it was due to their bisexuality or other factors.

Out of 874 women or female aligned people:

51% have never been told they are “available to men” due to their bisexuality.

42% have been told they are “available to men” and found it offensive.

4% consider themselves available to men.

2% have been told they are “available to men” and did not find it offensive.

14 individuals who do not identify as women or female-aligned have indicated that this has happened to them because they used to identify as women or female-aligned or are misgendered as women - most found it offensive.

Out of 353 men/male-aligned people:

61% say they have never been assimilated to straight men and/or benefit from straight men’s privileges.

35% say they have been assimilated to straight men and/or benefit from straight men’s privileges, and found this offensive.

3% say they have been assimilated to straight men and/or benefit from straight men’s privileges, but did not find this offensive.

Less than 1% thought they are basically the same as a straight man.

5 men/male-aligned individuals said they believe they have not experienced this specifically because they are trans and are misgendered as women.

When asked whether, regardless of their gender, it was assumed that respondents were primarily or only attracted to men, and that their attraction to other genders was either fake, or unimportant and shallow:

71% said they had experienced this.

27% said they had not experienced this.

2% gave other responses, such as being unsure or detailing experiences with this stereotype.

Out of 346 men/male-aligned people:

36% have been assumed to be “really gay” and lying about their attraction to women.

57% have not faced this assumption.

2% have indicated they have not experienced this because they are misgendered as women.

1% gave other responses (mostly being uncertain of whether this had happened).

4 people who are not men/male-aligned indicated this happened to them when they previously identified as men or because they are misgendered as men.

Out of 908 women/female-aligned people:

74% have been assumed to be “really straight”, or that their interest in women is just a phase, a sexual fetish, or experimenting.

25% have not faced this assumption.

1% have faced the opposite assumption: they have been assumed to really be lesbians.

Less than 1% gave other answers (mostly uncertainty).

12 people who are not women or female-aligned say they have faced this assumption when they previously identified as women/female-aligned or because they are misgendered as women.

When asked whether they have been made to feel that identifying as bisexual was regressive or less inclusive than other sexualities:

73% of respondents said they had.

25% said they had not.

3% said they had been told this but did not internalize it, or that they had not personally been told this but had witnessed this sentiment.

When asked whether they had been told that identifying as bisexual meant they were prejudiced against trans and nonbinary people:

74% of respondents said they had.

25% said they had not.

2% said they had not been directly told this, but had seen this being said.

Out of 686 trans and/or nonbinary people:

71% were made to feel that they could not be bisexual because “bisexuality doesn’t include trans people”.

35% were not made to feel this way.

2% said they had been told this but did not internalize it.

Less than 1% said they did not identify as trans or nonbinary when they were told this, or that they hadn’t identified as trans or nonbinary long enough to have experienced this.

When asked whether they had been made to feel or told that they should identify as a different label because of the way they experience bisexuality:

29% of respondents said they had not.

63% of respondents said they had been told they should identify as pansexual/omnisexual/polysexual instead.

20% said they had been told they should identify as asexual/aromantic/greysexual/demisexual/etc instead.

16% said they had been told they should identify as a lesbian instead.

6% said they had been told they should identify as a gay man instead.

4% gave other answers as to their experience being pushed to not identify as bisexual, which are available in the survey results.

When asked whether there was anything else relevant to the survey that they wanted to say, over 100 respondents gave personal answers that are available in the survey results.

Link to the Google spreadsheet of all survey results.

[ofmiscreants]

♡ ◟ ° ›   jung jaewon, cismale, he/him, twenty three   ⋯   ❛   thank you for applying to STONED RECORDS, MILO YUN ! before we start this job interview, i would just like to go over a few questions. you said your best attribute was ASSERTIVE, right ? well, word around town is that some people find you to be a bit more EGOCENTRIC … but, nevermind that. i’m actually more curious about whether you were actually THE ONE WHO LEAKED THEIR EX’S NUDES last year ? oh, you were ? that’s unfortunate. on the bright side, i heard that you excel at VIDEOGRAPHY …. so that’s cool ! now, one more question … your last manager said that you’re hiding that you’ve been CAMMING FOR TWO YEARS FOR SOME SIDE CASH AND YOUR BEST FRIEND’S FATHER IS YOUR NUMBER ONE TIPPER, is that true ? — haha , just kidding ! they didn’t say that, i just read that about you online . anyway , you got the job ! ❜ 】 eri, pst, she/her. 

hello i’m eri ! a cat obsessed, possibly nocturnal and very awkward individual. this is my first time joining an rp in .. years, and honestly i am very excited. i do work full time so i will likely be more active on line, but i look forward to writing threads on the dash as well ! i want to preface this with the fact that i am NOT my muse. the things that milo does / say are not me, i do not agree with his moral ( or lack there of ) and trust me when i say i probably hate him more than you. with that said, prepare yourself for the mess that is milo yun. 

so to start off, a brief history of milo's childhood: boy was a spoiled BRAT. his mother gave him everything, he basically never heard the word no, and although he ended up with a little sister by five years he still radiated and owned his only child energy. his mother married a very wealthy man when he was about 8, and milo always hated him for taking even more attention away from him. the only good thing that came from his step-dad was all the money he knew came directly from that man's bank account.

growing up, he was a generally decent person other than his hatred of the word no and not getting his way. personality-wise, he was tolerable. he teased people in joking ways, was a bit outspoken, but nothing too bad. that was until he got in his first relationship. he'd lost his virginity at 13 but didn't get with anyone for real until 15/16 ( i am hoping to get this connection so we can discuss that further if you're interested ). it was a year or so together before milo found out they'd cheated on him and that changed him for the worst. never having been the most romantic guy, he vowed to be the exact opposite from that day on. never again would someone make him cry, never would someone come close enough to his heart to break it, and he would never allow himself to be vulnerable with someone on a level like that again.

it wasn't just a fear of love he gained but an entirely fucked up and cynical attitude as well. he started acting out more, picking fights with people until someone else swung first and he couldn't be pinned for starting it (even though he 100% instigated it ). he wasn't miserable, but he had miserable moments. and soon it became harder for him to care about other's feelings or happiness, and started worrying only about his own happiness and his own needs.

by the time he finished high school he had a well-known reputation of being quite the casanova, and had left all too many hearts broken in his wake. he might not have the urge to love again, but he had a craving for every other part of it ... and deep down he missed it, feeling loved, even if he had no intention of reciprocating it.

BASICALLY, HE FUCKS AROUND AND PLAYS WITH PEOPLE'S HEARTS BECAUSE HE WANTS TO BE WANTED BUT ALSO NEVER WANTS TO NEED ANYONE EVER AGAIN OK.

ok so at 18 he graduated from high school as you do, naturally his parents assumed he'd be going to college but when he informed them that nah he was not, they waite a few months which were spent partying and acting like a crazed teenager in heat before finally warning him that if he didn't get a job he'd be cut off until he did. naturally, he went a week giving them both the silent treatment.. and in that time landed his first job at a coffee shop. it did not last long, and he worked at various other places around town and most of which he didn't last more than a few months at. authority? yeah .. he simply is not a fan. his luck was running out, that was until he decided to try out camming.

it started off slow, but by 21 he was killing it. getting paid to sit in his room and undress for men who are showering him in compliments and tips?? it was a dream come true. after realizing how much money he could make .. it changed a lot. he decided to only work part-time jobs in order to keep the illusion that he was making regular money a thing, and kept all his camming and sugar daddies behind closed doors.

this plan worked out great, two years in and he's working at stoned records and chilling, while nightly leading his double life as a very successful male cammer with a wide variety of fans from male to female of all ages. his favorites, however .. tend to be the older gentleman, the ones he can sucker into paying for skype dates and private videos, the ones who he has to resist rolling his eyes when he calls them daddy but that instant gratification of gifts of money being sent to him makes it all worth it. simple enough, until one of his top tippers turns out to be his best friend's dad. yikes .. and at first he questioned whether or not this was a good idea, but knowing how much money they had, it was hard to resist. he figured .. if it weren't him, it would be some other cammer so why not enjoy the wealth? well because of this he's been holding in a dark secret, having to avoid eye contact during those awkward run-ins, and pretending not to now intimate details about his own friends' family. this is a plot i would VERY much like to fill, and i am willing to change details or information around to make it fit better with your muse.

ok now that i have rambled forever i'm going to attempt to give a few more points that are much shorter

his rumor is about how he leaked his exes nudes after their break up ... this a heavily desired plot and i would love to have it. milo is a fucked up guy and honestly, they probably found out he cheated so in order to "win" this battle he leaked the nudes he had of them and then proceeded to dump them .. i'm sorry he's horrible

sexually he chooses not to label himself, he is attracted to attractive people and goes for what he wants. pansexual would be the closest description, but he himself will never put his sexuality into a box. with that said, he leans toward the dominant-top position, but he is also very open-minded and very filthy so opportunities are endless with him. sex to him is the biggest ego boost .. he loves being wanted, love the validation he gets from someone wanting him and feeling good because of him. he also very much gets off on others being vulnerable with him ( yes we get it he was traumatized bc he's a big brat ) and enjoys the power play dynamic that can come from sexual situations. anything beyond sex and .. he just stops caring. he knows ahead of time that he'll never be the one from them and doesn't plan on making that realization a very easy or pain-free one.

romantically he has only ever felt that attachment once. after he got his heart broken he vowed no more. he technically considers himself aromantic, but if you ask me he's just stubborn and refuses to relinquish power because he was embarrassed and his ego got very bruised. in reality, he's terrified of being vulnerable and giving someone else the chance to decide he isn't good enough. mind games are fun simply because he knows how to gain and keep the upper hand.

a few last things i feel like mentioning, he gets into fights often, drinks very often, does any sort of substance offered to him ( no injecting himself with anything though ), and basically is just ... a fucked up dude with an extremely distorted view of reality. his ego drives him 90% of the time, and he seriously lacks empathy. he's not the best dude in the world .... very far from it.

oh and his dream was to become a famous youtuber / influencer so he got really good at photography and videography but when he didn't become really famous within six months he gave up and instead started camming, just felt like throwing that in so i didn't forget oK now he's milo with the big dick and great lighting.

OK NOW THAT IM DONE RAMBLING .. hopefully some of you actually made it through this, i apologize again for the length of this. anyway i have stats for him and wanted connections so please feel free to check them out and hit me up if you want to do any of them OR if you have other ideas OR just to brainstorm together because i want all of the plots. ok thank you for reading and ily you !

p.s. all plots are open to any gender unless a specific one is stated where it says open. some may have certain pronouns already written but i am by no means closed off to other gender considering it is not something he has a preference for. i also did not have time to write out as many connections as i wanted so please don’t be discouraged with the lack of them .. i work full time and have been very busy lately i swear. i will try to fill them in / edit them as i get more.

[alpha-centari27]

Sonic the Hedgehog is full of thrills, friendship, and lots of high-speed action, but as it dashes through its rapid-fire plot, it does stumble on occasion. Do the highs outweigh the lows? Hold on tight as we run through the five best and five worst things about Sonic the Hedgehog.

Despite not having any kids of his own, Tom can't help but radiate some major dad vibes, thanks not in small part to some truly cringeworthy puns. At one point, when Sonic laments that he has to leave Earth to go live on a planet made up entirely of giant mushrooms, Tom quips, "at least you won't be the only fun guy!" Between his bad jokes, his tendency to play out full conversations with his donuts, and his fatherly protectiveness of Sonic, Tom really is the best friend an alien hedgehog could wish for, and he brings a refreshing, nurturing energy to the film. Watch the video to see the 5 best and 5 worst things in Sonic the Hedgehog!

#Sonic #SonicTheHedgehog

Read full article: https://www.looper.com/188762/best-wo...

I have been meaning to post something to express my thought on the Sonic movie and when I saw this video I thought this would be useful for explaining what worked and didn’t work in my opinion.

Best: Tom's dad vibe | 0:15

Every movie needs heart.  No complaints here.

Worst: Maddie's weirdly hostile sister | 1:18

I agree with the video commentary that this is strange.  If you are going to introduce a subplot gives us a reason why the sister has valid concerns, explain this to us, give us a reason to care or be afraid that the relationship is in jeopardy and therefore Sonic getting a happily ever after is in danger.

Best: Sonic's Quicksilver moments | 2:21

The video lists this as a positive, but I actually see it as a negative.  I feel like this makes Sonic too over powered.  And if one character is all powerful and cannot be stopped or countered all the stakes go out the the window.  The conflict is no longer compelling because we know unquestionably who is going to prevail.  I mean we all know Sonic is going to win in the end, but there has to be a believable chance that he could lose and Robotnik could prevail.

Worst: Hipster discrimination | 3:10

This also does seem strange...the bar fight in general seems arbitrary, but I don’t feel like it’s that big of a deal.  Maybe they went with this because saying anything else like “liberal“ “city slicker“ or remarking on Sonic’s appearance would go too far and offend someone.  “These people are racists / xenophobic, etc.“

Best: Sonic's new shoes | 4:16

Ok, watching this video I am wondering if there is a continuity error, because it looks like in some of the earlier parts of the movie he has his signature red and white shoes?  Or are the clips featured in the video earlier promo material and not from the finished cut of the movie?

Worst: Disproportionate conflict | 5:20

In general, Robotnik’s methods are over kill and run the risk of drawing too much attention from the civilian population.

You don’t need all this high tech gadgetry.  A tranquilizer dart was enough to render Sonic unconscious and defenseless.  Of course part of the problem is catching him or slowing him down enough to get a good shot.

On the other hand this is the kind of person Robotnik is--machines can fix everything.

I think something that could have partially fixed this is clarifying Robotnik’s motivation by putting it in conflict with the US government.  Robotnik captures Sonic and wants to study him because of realizing the implications of Sonic’s power as applied to his machines.  The US government wants Sonic dead or wants Sonic moved to a secure scientific research facility beyond Robotnik’s reach.

Robotnik disagrees with the government.  The government snaps back that they own him, they tell him what to do, or something similar.  At this point Robotnik could rebel against the government or he could just be shown planning or thinking about it.

Meanwhile Sonic’s friends manage to stage a rescue while Robotnik is distracted...and the chase continues. 

Best: Jim Carrey | 6:31

I was grade school aged when The Mask, Dumb and Dumber and Ace Ventura were playing in theaters.  And I remember his role in Liar Liar. 

Seeing Jim Carrey again on the big screen again is like seeing a friend in a very long time.

He’s charming and a joy to watch....but at other times there are aspects of his performance that are cringe inducing.

Worst: Also Jim Carrey | 7:48

I’m not sure if it’s Jim Carrey’s lines of dialogue that are off...

If the over the top exaggeration and physicality of his acting doesn’t entirely fit with the character and story...but something about his performance doesn’t work for me at times.

I think an example of this is when Robotnik is menacing Tom in his home and threatening him.  Sonic appears in the room to save Tom and Jim Carrey as Robotnik screams in shock.  A certain amount of shock is understandable, but the intensity of his reaction seems unwarranted.

The reference to breastfeeding and Robotnik being an orphan is also weird.

Maybe part of the problem is that in isolation Jim Carrey’s lines are funny because of how random and over the top they are, but beyond that there’s not much too it.  The lines are not particularly clever and don’t give us character development, world building, or flush out the relationship between Robotnik and Stone for example.

Best: Finding family | 8:56

I am fond of movies with a found / chosen family theme, so no complaints here.

Worst: Nonsensical ending | 9:59  

Arguably, the movie leaves a number of loose ends unaddressed.

The government is unconcerned that Robotnik is missing in action?

What about all the people who saw the fight between Robotnik and Sonic?  How is the government going to explain this away?  A campaign of memory erasure like the Men In Black?

I don’t remember the exact details of what the government agents said to Tom.  If they just waved away the whole labeling him a terrorist thing like it’s nothing. 

Other Honorable Mentions:

- Worst: Product placement.

- Worst: Why did Robotnik shave his head?  From a character standpoint why did Robotnik feel compelled to shave his head when he is trapped in the mushroom world?  This does bring him closer in line with how we are used to seeing him, but I feel like we need more explanation than Robotnik is losing his sanity.  Maybe we will get some sort of answer when and if there is a sequel?

- Worst: I know this movie is geared toward kids as well as the adults that grew up with Sonic...but I feel like the movie went to unnecessary lengths to emphasize how Robotnik is the evil villain of the story.

Robotnik having a private moment when he’s dancing to Evil Grows is one of the top highlights of the movie.  And parts of the song reminds me of music from the Sonic games.  At the same time I feel like this was too on the nose having the evil doer of the story dancing around to a song called Evil Grows.

- Worst:  Tom the terrorist.  Was it really the best strategy putting Tom’s face on the TV and branding him a terrorist?  Doesn’t the government want to keep this under the radar and be as discreet as possible?

[obtusemedia]

The best songs of the 2010s: #25-1

#25: “SICKO MODE” by Travis Scott feat. Drake (2018)

When music historians look at hip-hop’s late-’10s dominance, I have no doubt that “SICKO MODE” will be viewed as the pinnacle of the era.

Let’s just go through a checklist of what makes “SICKO MODE” an instant classic: The weirdo multi-part structure. Travis Scott’s nearly two-minute long verse with quotable lines galore. Drake somehow managing to make falling asleep on an airplane sound cool. That spooky two-word Swae Lee refrain. Multiple Jamba Juice name-drops (inspiring a hilarious meme video). An iconic, striking music video with whacked-out imagery galore. 

But most importantly, it’s a stone-cold banger that will get any dance floor moving. What more could you want? 

#24: “Dance Yrself Clean” by LCD Soundsystem (2010)

You might have noticed that one of the decade’s biggest musical trends — EDM — hasn’t shown up much on this list. That’s because a majority of it has already aged badly, even just a few years later. Songs like “Don’t You Worry Child” or “Wake Me Up!” certainly have their charms, but unlike the more enjoyable, trashy electropop that preceded it, most EDM hits were plodding and self-serious. And its best artist, Calvin Harris, made his best work when he drifted away from the subgenre’s rigid structure and just made pure pop music.

But my passiveness towards EDM doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a great drop. There’s been plenty of songs on the list with incredible drops up to this point, and there’s still a couple more to come. Hell, I even halfway considered putting some Skrillex on the list just because some of his early stuff still can get your pulse pounding (even if these songs REEK of the early 10s). But there will never be a drop more bonkers than “Dance Yrself Clean.”

Indie legends LCD Soundsystem kicked off the decade with a bang with this song — but they made you wait for that bang. More than three minutes, to be exact. But those who were patient enough to sit through the quiet, drawn-out opening were treated to frontman James Murphy wailing like a madman over a shuffling beat, bouncy bass and a cascading, randomized symphony of analog synthesizers. Although I’m sure Murphy calculated every second of “Dance Yrself Clean,” it sounds like absolute anarchy. And in the moments when his screaming vocals go hoarse over the slamming synths, it’s unreal.

#23: “Born To Die” by Lana Del Rey (2011)

This was the first Lana Del Rey song I heard, back in my junior year of high school. I was immediately floored. The vocals, the cinematic orchestral sweep, the spaghetti western guitars, the tragically beautiful lyrics  — it was an instant masterpiece. There was no way Lana wouldn’t be the world’s biggest popstar within a year.

A couple months later, Lana infamously bombed on Saturday Night Live, which some thought would derail her career entirely. Even after her career has survived and she’s become a critical darling with a cult fanbase, her debut album, Born To Die, and its title track still have a bit of the stink from that SNL performance. Well, no more.

“Born To Die” is a haunting gothic-pop masterpiece that’s aged much better than much early-’10s pop (although I love the corny club stuff from that era, don’t get me wrong). Lana’s smoky voice is unparalleled, the trip-hop production is untouchable.

And although her pinnacle wouldn’t come until 2014 with her sophomore album Ultraviolence, “Born To Die” is still Lana’s most perfect single to date.

#22: “Green Light” by Lorde (2017)

In 2013, Lorde completely upended the pop universe with “Royals,” a minimalist tune chastising radio hits for their un-relatable opulence. By 2017, the culture had fully gravitated towards Lorde’s moodier sound, with greyscale acts like Post Malone and Alessia Cara writing monster hits about being angsty and sad (and not in the artsy, brilliant way that worked for Kurt Cobain or Kanye). It was a far cry from the neon, bubbly world of Katy Perry and Carly Rae Jepsen from a few years prior.

The New Zealand prodigy could’ve cashed in on being ahead of the curve and continued down her minimalist moody path. But she did the opposite with the defiant and proudly energized “Green Light.” Yes, it’s a breakup anthem, but Lorde doesn’t wallow in her sadness here (she saves that for other Melodrama cuts). Instead, she wailed away into the night, playing off of the thundering drums and bouncing pianos of Jack Antonoff’s production (his best-ever). 

With “Green Light,” Lorde let her ex, and the world, know that she isn’t going anywhere. She might not ever reach the commercial heights of “Royals” again, but she’ll be an icon as long as there’s heartbreak that needs overcoming.

#21: “If You Know You Know” by Pusha-T (2018)

Pusha-T’s magnum opus, “If You Know You Know,” is a masterclass in cocaine rap with its effortless wordplay, sinister-yet-charismatic flow and blaring Kanye West beat. It deserved to be the song of the summer in 2018, but the masses chose a C-tier Drake single instead (despite Push absolutely ENDING Drake that summer).

But that doesn’t diminish the achievement Push made with this song. It’s quite a feat to record your best-ever track 17 years after your breakout. It’s even more of an accomplishment when that track kicks as much ass as “If You Know You Know.”

#20: “Teenage Dream” by Katy Perry (2010)

Teenage Dream-era Katy Perry is one of pop’s all-time juggernauts. The five consecutive #1 hit singles that album racked up is a feat matched only by Michael Jackson. Of those five singles, one stands out as the clear masterpiece of the group: the album’s title track (although “T.G.I.F” is also incredible).

I remember feeling a little underwhelmed by “Teenage Dream” when I first heard it in 2010. Her last single was a goofy, bombastic summer jam complete with a ridiculous video. “Teenage Dream” is a much more conventional, timeless pop jam. The chord structure is shockingly simple and the lyrics are lovestruck notes from a ‘50s ballad.

But that simplicity is what makes the song work. “Teenage Dream” has aged well because sometimes, all you need is three chords, a monster hook and yearning lyrics. This song will be Perry’s biggest legacy.

#19: “Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales” by Car Seat Headrest (2016)

“Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales” has to be the only uplifting, U2/Nirvana-style power ballad about DUIs.

Landing smack in the middle of Car Seat Headrest’s indie rock concept album/instant-classic Teens of Denial, “Drunk Drivers” is about the main character taking stock of his entire life and emotional instability. And yes, it all centers around driving drunk — or in this case, refusing that temptation as an impetus to change one’s life.

Naturally, in the very next song on the album, it’s revealed that the narrator drove drunk and got arrested anyways. But for a cathartic six minutes, “Drunk Drivers” provides a fleeting escape from the constant loop of self-hate and depression. Not to mention that it’s a grinding ‘90s alt-rock throwback that probably makes Billy Corgan jealous.

#18: “Harmony Hall” by Vampire Weekend (2019)

I’d never guess that Vampire Weekend’s second-best song (after “Oxford Comma,” of course) would be a hippie-friendly tune combining the Grateful Dead and Screamadelica. But here we are. And awkward combination or no, Ezra Koenig knew exactly what he was doing.

In a very dark, uncertain year, Koenig decided to write a song that doubled both as a blissed-out reprieve and a nervous warning. The music is utopian, but the lyrics detail the anger, confusion and constant obstacles of life in the late ‘10s. Koenig takes a lyric from one of his previous songs — “I don’t want to live like this/but I don’t want to die” — and makes it a rallying cry for anxious Millennials around the world, paranoid that the world might not stick around much longer.

It’s a heavy topic, but the gorgeous instrumentals, breakbeat drums, lilting guitars and bouncy pianos certainly ease the stress. “Harmony Hall” is a late-career masterpiece for the ages.

#17: “Marvins Room” by Drake (2011)

Never before has a booty call sounded so sad.

Way before he ruled the pop universe, Drake was just hip-hop’s resident mope. And “Marvins Room” is peak sadboi Drake. Using a real voicemail message in the hook (that he was later sued for using), “Marvins Room” is a six-minute phone conversation in which Drake drunkenly begs his ex to come back.

On the surface, what Drake discusses are what most rappers brag about — sex, money, wealth. But in “Marvins Room,” Drake seems to view them as obstacles to his ex, who he clearly still isn’t over. When he said he had sex four times this week, he sounds disgusted with himself, not proud.

Drake doesn’t look remotely good in this song; it’s more than a little pathetic. But it feels real and raw and revealing in a way that few R&B ballads are willing to get.

#16: “Pedestrian At Best” by Courtney Barnett (2015)

Courtney Barnett’s grungy masterpiece, “Pedestrian At Best,” is appropriately angsty given its crunchy guitars and yell-y vocals. But the Melbourne singer-songwriter touches on a different kind of angst here than Pearl Jam usually tapped into: the pressure of living up to sky-high expectations.

In the early/mid ‘10s, Barnett was earning lots of hype after witty (and excellent!) early singles like “Avant Gardener” and “History Eraser.” She clearly assumed she’d screw up her debut album following up those breakout songs, as she declares herself “a fake” and “a phony” in “Pedestrian At Best.” 

Arguably her generation’s best lyricist, Barnett nails her expectation to squander the public’s expectations: “Put me on a pedestal and I’ll only disappoint you/Tell me I’m exceptional, I promise to exploit you.” The ironic thing is, she did the opposite. “Pedestrian At Best” is one of the most successful songs about failing.

#15: “Ni**as in Paris” by Jay-Z and Kanye West (2011)

There was some close competition, but I don’t think there was a more quotable rap song this decade than Jay-Z and Kanye West’s crowning achievement from Watch The Throne, “Ni**as in Paris.”

The classic lines don’t stop coming throughout the minimalist banger. Jay’s verse is smooth braggadocio perfected: “I’m liable to go Michael, take your pick: Jackson, Tyson, Jordan, Game 6.” Then Kanye comes crashing in with some truly bizarre bars that are both the dumbest and greatest thing you’ve ever heard. After hearing the song, I never felt the same way about fish filets ever again.

And then, the piece de resistance — Kanye’s inspired Will Ferrell sample from Blades Of Glory. It’s one of the most left-field and iconic moments in hip-hop history, and perfectly described the song itself. “NOBODY KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS. BUT IT’S PROVOCATIVE. IT GETS THE PEOPLE GOING.” Amen.

#14: “Run Away With Me” by Carly Rae Jepsen (2015)

Carly Rae Jepsen deserved to be one of the biggest popstars of all time. She should be selling out the same arenas that Taylor Swift and Beyoncé fill. But, in what is a true tragedy, the British Columbia native is only remembered as being that singer with that one earth-shattering hit and a feverish cult following.

But despite how adorable and fun “Call Me Maybe” is, Jepsen’s true magnum opus is her 2015 album, EMOTION, and its bombastic opening track, “Run Away With Me.” 

The single is a masterclass in blending ‘80s flourishes with modern production. On the thunderous chorus, the EDM synths and roaring saxophone riff work in harmony with Jepsen’s passionate vocals to create pure pop bliss. Combined with the intimate verses, the single perfectly encapsulates that butterfly-feeling of a relationship’s honeymoon stage.

“Run Away With Me” is only one of many, many Jepsen singles that would’ve been #1 smashes in a perfect world. But the lack of chart success for this one especially hurt.

#13: “Formation” by Beyoncé (2016)

Where were you when “Formation” dropped? I bet you probably remember (I was writing an essay in my college’s library).

Sure, Beyoncé’s self-titled 2013 album is the surprise drop that gets all the attention. But “Formation” came out of nowhere too a few years later, and let’s be honest — it was much better. (side note: 4 is also much better than the self-titled)

Mike Will Made It’s beat for “Formation” incorporated some Texas twang into his trap-pop production — a fitting match for a Houston legend like Beyoncé. And Bey takes heat-check shot after heat-check shot here: declaring herself the next Bill Gates; casually dropping a “swag” ad lib and magically not sounding corny as hell; making a trip to a mediocre chain seafood restaurant sound like a cool post-sex reward.

It all works. And that’s because on “Formation,” Beyoncé was as untouchable and fearless as her cutthroat stans had always proclaimed her to be. The fact that it was the triumphant coda to one of the decade’s best pop albums just cements its legend.

#12: “Old Town Road (Remix)” by Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus (2019)

It’s the longest-running #1 hit in U.S. history. An unstoppable juggernaut that held titans like Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran and Drake from the top of the charts. And, oh yeah — it’s perfect.

There are probably a few party poopers out there who hate “Old Town Road.” I am not one of them. By 2019, pop’s grayscale, Post Malone-fueled gloom had gotten out of hand. Then out of nowhere, this teenage Nicki Minaj Twitter stan writes a goofy novelty song that’s both a parody of country clichés and a sincere celebration of the cowboy lifestyle. (It’s also the greatest country song ever written, and the entire city of Nashville can fight me on that.)

Lil Nas X has a pure charisma other artists would kill for, from his warbly, infectious chorus to his endlessly quotable verse (WRANGLER ON MY BOOTY!!). And pulling Billy Ray Cyrus away from Hannah Montana-funded retirement to drop a shockingly fire verse about living the luxury lifestyle in Beverly Hills? There’s no way this wouldn’t be one of my all-time favorites.

Sometimes, when it comes to predicting future classics, you’ve just got to trust the screaming elementary schoolers.

#11: “Midnight City” by M83 (2011)

“Midnight City” sounds like what Space Mountain feels like.

The decade’s best electronic song is so perfect as to be almost alien, yet also remarkably warm and human. And just when you thought the song couldn’t get better, the second-greatest sax solo of all time (only behind “Jungleland”) bursts out of the neon layers of synth.

M83 has a catalogue stuffed with stunning retro synthpop bangers. The fact that “Midnight City” towers above them all is a testament to the song’s sheer majesty.

#10: “All Too Well” by Taylor Swift (2012)

Yes, I’m aware that this is the obvious Taylor Swift pick for this list. But Swift’s literary masterwork, “All Too Well,” hits me too hard to deny it.

“All Too Well” is so packed with vivid details and intense emotional swings that it feels like more like a short story backed by arena-rock instrumentation more than a pop song. From her an abandoned scarf tucked in a drawer, to her ex’s mother embarrassing him with his dorky child photos, to the phone-call breakup that was “casually cruel in the name of being honest,” Swift didn’t leave anything out.

Coupled with her songwriting, Swift’s vocals also make “All Too Well” her pinnacle. She reaches into her upper register so rarely that it sends shivers whenever she does, like on the emphatic climax here. 

If it catches me in the right mood, Swift’s performance, the lilting guitars and cutting lyrics in “All Too Well” brings a few tears to my eyes. (Yes, really.) It’s only fitting that one of the greatest breakup anthems of all time is sung by a master of the artform.

#9: “Ivy” by Frank Ocean (2016)

I was very tempted to put Frank Ocean’s 10-minute synthpop epic “Pyramids” on the list instead. Make no mistake — if it wasn’t for my self-imposed one-song-per-artist rule, both it and “Ivy” would’ve placed highly.

But “Ivy” is a heart-stopper. It’s a fairly simple song, with just Ocean’s raw vocals playing off the languid guitars. To pull a song like this off, you have to be a double-threat, a genius lyrically and a stunning singer. Ocean fits that bill. 

“Ivy” is the decade’s greatest R&B song, a heartbreaking ode to a slowly crumbling relationship.

#8: “The Edge Of Glory” by Lady Gaga (2011)

Lady Gaga’s best songs hit you like a brick to the face. Gaga — the greatest pop star of the 21st century, don’t @ me — has plenty of pop bangers that do this, particularly on the wildly underrated Artpop (shoutout to the insane and insanely fun “G.U.Y.”). But arguably none of her singles provide as much maximalist pleasures as “The Edge Of Glory.”

The track reeks of trying too hard in the best way possible. Gaga reaches into her upper vocal register frequently, scratching her upper limits every time she reaches the chorus. The production is a messy-but-beautiful jumble of slamming synths and drum machines. And that Clarence Clemons sax solo — one of the last musical contributions he made before his death that same year — is just the icing on top of the gloriously sugary cake.

Gaga’s over-the-top synthpop from her early years isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. But for someone like me, who wants pop to feel as massive and inescapable as humanly possible, “The Edge Of Glory” is still a towering high-water mark.

#7: “Pay No Mind” by Beach House (2018)

This spot could’ve been taken by any number of Beach House songs, the modern masters of dream-pop. “Space Song,” “Myth,” “Take Care” — the Baltimore duo honed in on a specific musical style and perfected it.

To me, “Pay No Mind” is the culmination of those years of Beach House subtly tinkering with their hazy, nocturnal sound. It’s like a gothic wedding slow-dance song: the right rhythm and with a romantic feel, but maybe a bit too gloomy for your grandparents. But regardless, “Pay No Mind” is breathtakingly beautiful, like seeing neon lights through the fog.

#6: “m.A.A.d. city” by Kendrick Lamar feat. MC Eiht (2012)

If you haven’t tried to memorize the nearly two-minute uninterrupted opening verse of “m.A.A.d. city,” were you even alive in the early ‘10s?

Kendrick Lamar has written many hip-hop epics in his career so far, but so far none have topped the semi-title track from his major label debut, good kid, m.A.A.d. city. In that concept album about Lamar’s teen years growing up amidst the gang warfare in Compton, “m.A.A.d city” marks the point where the gangsta dream shifts into a horrifying nightmare. 

The song is a blur of murder, violence and police sirens. Lamar sounds positively terrified on the track, his voice cracking while he confesses. And bringing on old-school rapper MC Eiht to play a veteran gang member snapping Lamar out of his haze was a brilliant move. “m.A.A.d city” is an exhilarating tour-de-force that proved how much raw talent, in both flow and storytelling, Lamar had.

#5: “Somebody Else” by The 1975 (2016)

If Vampire Weekend is the most important band of the early ‘10s, then The 1975 is the most important band of the rest of the decade. Their transformation from (really good!) simple pop-rock to tacking incredibly dark subject matter while successfully taste-testing their way through nearly every musical genre was unexpected. And brilliant, seeing as they pulled it off.

But The 1975′s best track is much less capital-I important than most of their epics about Trump or suicide or heroin — it’s a synthpop song about complicated post-breakup emotions. But “Somebody Else” earns its keep as the band’s pinnacle through sheer relatability. It nails that complicated feeling of being over someone...but not really. Or as lead singer Matty Healy puts it bluntly: “I don’t want your body/but I’m picturing your body with somebody else.”

The shuffling drum machine groove and icy synths complete a perfect song for wandering aimlessly at night, longing for a lost love. And although The 1975 might switch sounds endlessly in their career, their sweet spot will always be this moody ‘80s update.

#4: “TiK ToK” by Ke$ha (2010)

“TiK ToK” is still easily the peak of the 2009-12 pop golden age. It has a bit of everything you’d want in a single from that era: Gloriously grimy synths! An uber-catchy chorus with plenty of demands to party! And of course, a charismatic and unforgettable star who can deliver the song. I don’t think anyone would argue Ke$ha fit that role to a T.

When “TiK ToK” first arrived around the turn of the decade, I couldn’t stand it. I thought it was too sleazy. Nearly 10 years later, Ke$ha’s performative sleaziness is exactly what makes this song so fun. Yeah, the hook is bulletproof and the production is buzzy. But Ke$ha’s slurred, drunken delivery and ridiculous lines are what have kept “TiK ToK” in the public consciousness. She single-handedly made P. Diddy and especially Mick Jagger relevant again. She made brushing your teeth with Jack Daniels seem cool (and not insanely nasty, like it actually is). Every single ridiculous line, sung through Ke$ha’s fake valley girl accent, is a gem.

I can understand how someone wouldn’t like the unfiltered debauchery and greasiness of “TiK ToK.” But to me, that’s the entire charm of it, and what makes it stand out amongst a sea of similarly-minded club jams from its era.

#3: “Runaway” by Kanye West feat. Pusha-T (2010)

I was going to ask all of you to forget about Kanye West’s recent stumbles, be it his association with Donald Trump or his insistence that slavery was a choice. But the power of “Runaway” is that it is a semi-apology from a man who knows he’s deeply flawed. Every one of Kanye’s gaffes and terrible decisions makes “Runaway” even more relevant today.

But “Runaway” was originally a response to Kanye’s infamous “Imma let you finish” rant at the 2009 VMAs, where he interrupted Taylor Swift. The song basically operates as a semi-apology to the world for being, as he puts it, a douchebag. An asshole. A scumbag. A jerkoff. He’s somewhat bragging about his misdeeds, while sheepishly asking for forgiveness.

And yet, it’s an extremely vulnerable song. The bridge — “I guess that you’re at an advantage/Cause you can blame me for everything/And I don’t know how Imma manage/If one day you just up and leave” — initially feels like something Kanye is saying to a lover. But really, he’s saying it to all of us. And it’s arguably the most moving moment in his whole career.

#2: “Get Lucky” by Daft Punk feat. Pharrell and Nile Rodgers (2013)

Don’t think about it too hard, folks. 

Considering that Daft Punk are the greatest dance-music artists of all time, it only makes sense that they’d dip their toes into disco and absolutely KILL it. And that’s all “Get Lucky” is. Two French masters making their grand comeback by recruiting one of funk’s finest guitarists and one of the 2000s’ most charismatic vocal presences. 

“Get Lucky” will be a wedding dance staple until the sun explodes. And it deserves that status. It’s a flawless dance track. Just embrace the groove.

#1: “Archie, Marry Me” by Alvvays (2014)

My favorite song of the 2010s wasn’t a part of some major trend. It wasn’t particularly influential. It doesn’t have any profound meaning, and it didn’t try to tackle a major event. “Archie, Marry Me” just happens to be the greatest indie pop song ever written.

Every little aspect of Toronto band Alvvays’ debut single works, from the surf-y guitars to lead singer Molly Rankin’s monotone-yet-yearning vocals. With its lo-fi ramshackle charm and monster hook, “Archie, Marry Me” is all you could want in a dream-pop single. It even has the nice touch of echoing a Neil Young classic in the chorus.

The whole intention of this list — as it is with any of my year-end lists — is simply to measure which songs made me the happiest; which songs never wore out on me. And no single this decade puts a bigger smile on my face than “Archie, Marry Me.” It’s simple, achingly romantic (in a Wes Anderson-esque half-ironic way, but still), and I wouldn’t change a thing about it.

[jjpmoans]

50 Questions Tag

Tagged by @prettywordsyouleft and @itsallabigmess bcs these two unnies really love me

1. What takes too much of your time?

Social media (yes that includes tumblr)

2. What makes your day better?

These days, Jinyoung. Lol okay so I am a very talkative one. So yeah, talking to someone will immediately makes me feel less stressful.

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today?

Just now @itsallabigmess made an exception for me to write a GOT7 fic asdfghjkl I FEEL A LITTLE TOO OVER HAPPY

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

I think almost all my friend would have guess this. Hogwarts. Because the food there seems to be endless and really, I’d love to try eating both drumsticks in my hand and I want to put an incantation to whoever tries to hold me from eating.

5. Are you good at giving advice?

Well, I think I am. Judging from how my whole family turned to me when they wanted to share their problems. Also when I gave advises, I always stresses this one thing “Listen to understand, don’t listen to reply” and that implies to me too. And honestly, I listen too much and sometimes when people just don’t want to change, I feel really annoyed BECAUSE WHAT IS THE POINT YOU WANTED MY ADVISE???? Okay I think I’m good. hahahhahhaha

6. Do you have any mental illness?

Horny 24/7 is that a mental illness? lmao no I’m not that bad but I think I need to get married. NOW.

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Not yet. In my country, people describe sleep paralysis as you got crushed by some spirit (ghost to be exact) and yes it is scary and I hope I would never experience it.

8. What musician inspired you the most?

I’ve been thinking a lot and though I really want to say GOT7, I’d say EXO. Partly because I was there since early times, but also, the amount of success and loyalties they have received are really unbelievable. The secret of EXO’s and BTS’s popularity which leads them to win daesang in every award is their fans. And I really hope ahgase can be like them. I’d be lying if I say our fandom is really hardworking when it comes to award season. I’ve seen my friend bullshitting EXO and BTS bcs whenever any of them is nominated in the same award of GOT7, automatically, GOT7 will lose. And no joke, army and exol are really monsters during award season. And I hope us ahgase can be like that too. I know got7 said they didn’t mind but Jinyoung once said that he want to know how those groups can win daesang easily and he thought got7 need to work harder. smh I’m emo. sorry this got longer than it should. 

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

I do. Hahahahhahaha yes I do. 

10. What’s your dream date?

Well for me, just talking with each other is a date. I love to know small details because when I love someone, I just want to know everything about him. But okay a dream date? Amusement park. Yes you need to know which ride makes me scream like a girl and which makes me scream like a mad woman.

11. What do others notice about you?

I’m very talkative (that really shows lol). And I don’t know how to refuse when someone ask for a help or anything. I always tell myself to treat people the way I want to be treated. 

And they said I’m too nice. Yeah I figured that too hahahahhaa

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

Refuse to listen when I’m angry. I feel annoyed because I know I’m wrong but I’m angry but I don’t want to hurt people. So I’ll say “Sorry, I’m very angry now but I know I’m wrong. Just, I’ll be okay later so we’ll talk later”

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

Yes and no. Our last conversation was he wanted to meet me. But ever since then, no other conversation.

14. How many ex’s do you have?

Can’t relate lol

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

Here’s the thing. I have a lot of playlists. Phone playlist, laptop playlist, joox playlist and youtube playlist. So I don’t know how many of them.

16. What instruments can you play?

Non existent.

17. Who do you have the most pictures of?

My phone? Now? Jinyoung smh this is all Tumblr’s fault lol. 

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Mecca. I’d like to die there if I can.

19. What is your zodiac?

Virgo. And please, someone, please help me calculate whatever thing it was (sun sign, moon sign and all) I never knew those things and it irks me when I don’t know it hahahahhaaa

20. Do you relate to it?

Well I did some research here, Virgo firstly is a virgin and yes I am. It says that virgo is very supportive of people in their lives and even strangers, that is me. I’m a critical thinker bcs I personally hate when something goes wrong. but lol hardworking, artists and remembers everything? Not even close. I’m a lazy ass, I draw a cow but it turned into a pig and I am hopeless with my memory.

But one Virgo thing about me, yes I am an overthinker hahahahhaa

21. What is happiness to you?

When my family reunited.

22. Are you going through anything right now?

Family problem. Mom just got heart attack, dad married another woman, brother on crisis with mom, sister just stabbed my back, aunt made everything worse. It’s been three months into 2019, every week, another family problem popped up. But we are trying, I tried to fix everything, another role which the smallest child has to take upon responsibility but I’m fine. Just, tiring.

23. What’s the worst decision you’ve ever made?

applied for the wrong scholarship and wasted an opportunity to fly to New Zealand for study.

24. What’s your favourite store?

Food stores. Any of them. ARE MY FAVOURITE ahhahahhaha

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

Because I’m a muslim, I am against abortion. Here, in my country, abortion is done because it was done out of wedlock and they feel embarrassed. So, it irks me bcs if you can think to have sex, you can’t think that there is possibilities that you can get pregnant? And to kill your child bcs you wanted to cover it, is unacceptable. But again, it is personal choice. 

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

I have a few but not enough to be a bucket. 

27. Do you have a favourite album?

Honestly, if favourite means I have listened to all songs in that album, it’s EXO The War album. 

28. What do you want for your birthday?

A freaking big plushie. I love to hug big plushies. But no one ever wanted to give me that for my birthday. And now, I’ve been searching for a big squirtle plushie or snorlax plushie (yes jackson and jaebum)

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

okay this one lol they said I look scary and they thought I’d be the grumpy one. Well, if you meet me when I’m hungry, I have the tendency to be one.

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

I don’t know anymore. An aunt asked me “Are you the one who got married?” when it was my sister smh 

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

next to my pillow bcs I need to charge it.

32. what word do you say the most?

me? I say “shit” a lot lol

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

well I would say I definitely date anyone as long as they are not the same age with my dad.

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

idk I never thought on dating a younger one. But if I do, maybe 4 years younger bcs damn, if I make it 10 years, my date would be 12 when me here is 22.

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

something which requires me to talk a lot. 

36. What’s your favourite music genre?

K-Pop.

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

South Korea. New Zealand. Anywhere but Malaysia lol.

38. What is your current favourite song?

Say you won’t let go - James Arthur

39. How long have you had this blog for?

I had this blog for a few years. But just becoming active just recently hmm I don’t know the exact date. But I know it started after I interacted with @prettywordsyouleft

40. What are you excited for?

Food. and sponsored vacation

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

A better talker. but also a pretty good listener

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

Last sunday, i climbed a 200m hill to get to the view point. It got me panting like a dying cow.

43. What do you want for Christmas?

While I don’t celebrate Christmas, I welcome gifts. Any gifts would be fine lol (make sure its food)

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

High school? Chemistry. College? Mathematic. Now? Nothing hahahahaha

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

5 and exhausted but tomorrow? 10 BECAUSE A JINYOUNG IS COMING

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?  

10 years I just hope that I am already working and saving money to go on vacations and can sponsor my family on vacations too.

47. When did you first get your heartbreak?

2009 when I discovered that dad has another wife. I was 12 and just got my exam result but dad wasn’t there. He was never present for any of my achievements in school. Turns out he has another child the same age as me and he puts her before me. Since I was born, I was always put second.

2011 when I liked a guy but he hated me awh teenagers. He said I’m too fat and how dare a fat girl like me tries to like him? He was my first love.

48. At what age do you want to get married?

When I am ready. I have a dream wedding, so I would work hard for it to happen.

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

Idk I always change it lol today i’ll say teacher and next day I’ll say ballerina. Yes I spent my whole school life giving different careers when teachers asked me.

50. What do you crave right now?

Food bcs I’m on diet and hell those food porns are getting on my nerves.

Phew it was a good time answering all these questions and it drains my energy lol. So for this, hmm I don’t know who to tag. But i’ll go with this one @sevenpeaches @riceeater22 @tuanyiems @kpopchangedme @kpopstories @starhibiki @ongsung @sehunsmybae (yes I always saw you) and everyone who want to do this! of course, you are not forced to do this

[untapdtreasure]

TV Show Ask Game 1, 3, 5, 7, 9-29, and 31-49.

TV Show Ask Game

1. if you could reboot one TV show, which one would it be? Earth 2. But only if they could go back in time with the same cast at those ages. It was a brilliant concept that maybe just came ahead of its time.

3. have you ever quit a show before it finished? why? No. But I've wanted to. Once I start something I like to finish it.

5. what’s your comfort show? H20: Just Add Water. I seem to go back to it when I need something light and fun and that doesn't require a ton of thinking in order to enjoy it. I know it's an Australian teenage drama, but I absolutely adore it and the characters.

7. have you ever been inspired to start a new show based on gifs or memes it has produced? The Man From the High Castle and Westworld.

9. what’s one show you thought you’d hate but turned out to really enjoy? Family Guy. I usually don't care for shows with that kind of humor, but it has turned out to be a true gem and favorite of mine.

10. what’s one show you thought you’d love but turned out to really hate? Sons of Anarchy.

11. which TV show has the best musical soundtrack, in your opinion? Cold Case. And Supernatural.

12. have you ever watched a show just for a specific actor? did you enjoy it? I tried to watch Californication because of my love for David Duchovny. I didn't get past season one, and I haven't had the urge to continue it further.

13. what genre of TV show is your favourite? Science-Fiction.

14. do you tend to stick to one type of TV show (eg, short-form comedy), or are you into many different genres? I love a ton of different genres. I mean, sticking to one type is mega boring. And I'm not always in the mood for something funny or drama or sad or whatever. So I like to have options. Lots and lots of options.

15. do you feel like there are any overrated TV show formats? I'm not really sure what this means so I'm not going to comment.

16. do you feel like there are any underrated TV show formats? I'm not really sure what this means so I'm not going to comment. 

17. have you ever written fanfiction for a TV show? I started with CSI and The X-Files a long time ago (2004) and still write it today. So yeah. I've written fanfiction for a television show that I love. Several of them in fact. Fifteen years and still going strong.

18. have you ever drawn fanart for a show? I cannot draw to save my life. So the closest thing I've ever drawn for a show was stick figures for The Walking Dead for another ask meme. LOL.

19. are there any shows on your “to watch” list right now? Oh my heck! There are a ton of shows and movies that are on my list to watch at a later date. I even go through it sometimes and delete things that I've added in the past that I know I will never get around to watching. It drives my husband mad to see all the crap in there that never gets watched.

20. Netflix, Hulu, or Prime originals? I happen to like some of all of them, but my favorites just so happen to be Hulu ones. The Handmaid's Tale and Hollie Hobby!

21. if you could be a guest star on any show, which one would it be? The X-Files but that won't ever happen because I'm pretty sure that the show is likely done this time around. I hope anyway. LOL.

22. if you could write your own TV show, what would it be like? A complete disaster. It would be a feel-good show with characters that care more about others around them than anything else. So yeah! A complete disaster. I'll leave the writing to the professionals and stick to writing fanfiction because it's so much easier.

23. are you a fan of will-they-won’t-they plots? Yes, I am. Some of the best ships have come from just that scenario.

24. how do you feel about bottle episodes? I have a love/hate relationship with them. When I haven't seen a character or a couple of characters for a bit, they are fun to play catch up with them, but then I would rather every episode have a little of everyone than focus on one group or character solely.

25. do you prefer proper opening credits, or a simple title card? A simple title card is all that I need because I'm ready to watch the show. I know who stars in it. I don't need to see it every time.

26. favourite TV show theme song? Pretty Little Liars.

27. which actor do you think deserves an Emmy for their work on TV? Melissa McBride and Andrew Lincoln from The Walking Dead.

28. who would be your dream cameo on your favourite show? Kathryn Erbe in the Zombie Apocolypse would be an absolute dream come true! I'd love to see her play in a scene opposite Melissa McBride's Carol.

29. do you tend to quote TV shows a lot? have you ever started using a word/phrase because of a TV show? No, I don't usually quote anything from a TV show unless I'm talking to a fellow fan and we're discussing the show. And I can't think of a time that I've ever taken a phrase from a show/movie and used it in real life. OHHH! Yes, I have! There is a contestant on Survivor that says, "Oh my heck!" and I love that phrase now. LOL.

31. do you use subtitles while watching TV if you can? I will rewind a scene and turn them on if I'm confused about something that is being said, or I'm making a comic strip/photo or gif set where I need the exact quote.

32. what’s one show you could watch over and over? Earth 2, H20: Just Add Water, Mako Mermaids, etc. I could go on and on with some of my favorite feel-good shows.

33. would you be interested in trying a show in another language? I've tried to watch a new series on Netflix, but it just really takes me out of it when I have to read the words. I can't focus on the actions and scenery if I'm constantly having to read the dialogue.

34. what are your top 5 shows right now? The Walking Dead, Law & Order: SVU, Heartland, The Rookie, and 9-1-1.

35. who are your top 5 TV characters right now? Carol Peletier, Lt. Olivia Benson, Athena Grant, Howard 'Chimney' Han, Rookie Officer John Nolan

36. what TV character would you die for? Carol Peletier. But not really.

37. which TV show setting would you most like to visit? The Walking Dead.

38. do you prefer hour long episodes, or 30 minute? It really depends on the material. Sometimes thirty minutes is long enough to tell a complete story, but sometimes, you really need that full hour.

39. do you prefer 22 episode seasons, or 13? It really depends on the show and the story being told.

40. is there a show coming out soon that you’re really excited about? The sixth season of The 100. There is nothing new coming out that I'm that interested in.

41. if you could change 1 detail about any show, what would you change and why? I would change the way in which season four of The Walking Dead was executed so that it made better sense. I wouldn’t necessarily change the main plot points, but I would change how the story was told and would elaborate on whatever needed to be elaborated on so that it made more sense narratively speaking. I believe that certain things had to happen to get the payoff down the road, but the way in which it was written and executed was entirely bogus. Scott Gimple did not trust his audience at all. 

42. what’s the longest amount of time you’ve ever watched a show in one sitting? Five plus hours when binge watching ER with my Mom on the weekends.

43. what do you think is a good amount of seasons for a TV show? Six or Seven. But that depends on the show and material for the show. Some shows really can't be wrapped up in that time frame, but some that really should end on a good note. Justified is a wonderful show, but those in charge knew that it was time to let it go. But Supernatural doesn't seem to know that it should end already. The first five or six seasons were brilliant, but it got a little (or a lot) stupid after that.

44. if you could replace any actor on TV in playing their role, who would you like to play and why? I wouldn't want to replace anyone because I absolutely love and adore the people chosen to play their specific roles. I wouldn't want to mess with the chemistry of the cast for even one minute.

45. do you own any TV shows on DVD? I own several shows on DVD. Too many to list.

46. do you prefer to watch TV alone or with friends? Alone because if you watch with friends there is too much talking going on.

47. are there any shows you love but your friends aren’t interested in? Like almost everything. LOL. My tastes and theirs do not usually mesh. It's rare that we have overlapping interest in a show.

48. are there any shows your friends love but you aren’t interested in? Yes. Just about as many of my shows as their shows, honestly.

49. who are your favourite couples on TV? Well, most of them are really canon ships, but there is Carol & Daryl from The Walking Dead, Olivia Benson and Rafael Barba from SVU, Regina Mills and Robin of Locksley from Once Upon a Time, Mulder and Scully from The X-Files. There are several more, but I think those are plenty to list right now. I have an otps page if you'd like to see the ones that I love the most. Oh! Han & Leia from Star Wars.

[buttkessler24-blog]

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[lenific]

Set in Makes Three. Prompt: “Want to roast some chestnuts?”

—

“Want to roast some chestnuts?” Belle pulled out a small muddy parcel from among the straw in her basket. “Marie’s oldest took Matthew along to collect them while we waited for the bread to bake, and now he’s excited about eating his haul. Or, well, I’m sure that’ll be the first thing he asks for after his nap.”

“Sure,” said Rumpelstiltskin, putting a finger over the line he was reading to mark his place. “After dinner?”

Belle shook her head. “Only if you want the detailed recount of where he spotted each nut and how he beat Tad to it.”

Rumpelstiltskin raised an eyebrow. A child of four didn’t outrace another twice his age.

Belle laughed, brushing a hand over his shoulders as she spoke. “Tad doesn’t mind that the little ones have their fun. He got twice as much, anyway.” The lumpy package came right under his nose, obscuring the text he was studying. Chuckling, he obeyed the wordless command and set down his book to take the fresh chestnuts instead. “Need help, sweetheart?”

“Please.”

He thought of waving a hand to part the nuts from the spiny burrs, and then shell them, but Belle had seated herself beside him, ready to share the work. A pair of leather gloves and a thin, sharp knife were summoned instead.

His own skin didn’t need protection, and his nails were tough enough for the job.

Belle still kept an eye on him as he worked through his first nut, alert just in case he’d overestimated his body’s resilience. Eventually, she focused on her half of the small mound.

Rumpelstiltskin watched her, letting his fingers deal with the repetitive work with little thought on his part. Instead he basked in their quiet domesticity, in the certainty that Belle enjoyed his company and had sought him out not for his power or his knowledge, but because she trusted him to take time from his work and help her.

Laboring in tandem at a small chore, for the benefit of a child under his roof, wasn’t new; and yet, with Belle humming a happy folk song under her breath, it felt like it.

“We could go outside,” he found himself proposing after a while. “When the boy wakes. Make a bonfire, a big one. Bring down a blanket to sit on. Hm?”

Belle glanced at him, wide-eyed but already grinning at the idea. “Sounds wonderful! I’m sure Matthew will love it.”

“It’s the boy’s first harvest,” Rumpelstiltskin said, knowing as they left his mouth that he had said these exact words before. “Let’s celebrate.”

Belle, however, didn’t scoff or roll her eyes at his absurd need to make a fuss for a childish feat. The chestnut currently in his hand crumbled at the sharp, unwelcome memory of a different set of blue eyes glaring at him with scorn; but Rumpelstiltskin took a deep breath and continued. “We’ll take something to eat, too. Might as well have dinner while we’re at it.”

Belle nodded. “What a great idea. Thank you, Rumple.” She reached across the table to tug on the lacy ruffle at his wrist, always so fond of physical contact. “I wouldn’t have thought of it.”

Rumpelstiltskin shrugged.

“Maybe another time we can invite a few of the village boys.”

That made him wrinkle his nose. “Shepherding dragons sounds more restful.”

Belle giggled. “They’re not that bad. If you ever came with me—”

Rumpelstiltskin shook his head, taking his hand away from her grasp to shake a finger at her. “Make your friends if you will,” he told her. “It’s good for the boy to have a few playmates. But make no mistake in thinking their parents will thank you for bringing the Dark One into their lives.”

After living mainly within the walls of the Dark Castle, Belle’s boy was very shy around strangers; but the nearest village was familiar enough. The children there had known the baby Belle would carry from stall to stall on every market day, and they counted him as one of their own despite the rumors that circulated among the adults about his paternity. The innocent friendships had flourished as the children grew from toddlers into small boys, and it had opened the door for Belle to make some tentative overtures of her own.

If memory served, Marie was a widow with three children, the oldest only eight years old. Fallen into hard times after her husband’s passing, she and Belle had bonded over the pitfalls of housekeeping when one hadn’t been raised to the task and, Rumpelstiltskin suspected, also over their single-handled raising of little boys.

People were quick to suspect him of ignoring his own child, but they would cry and holler if he tagged along during Belle’s visits.

“I think that if they knew you, they’d get to like you,” Belle said optimistically. “Just like I did.”

Rumpelstiltskin laughed. “I hope not!”

“Rumple…”

He’d stood and marched over to stand behind her before Belle could say another word. “I know you like me,” he said, lowering his voice to a giggly whisper, followed by a quick kiss on her earlobe. He laughed, the sound now softer, as a deepening blush showed her understanding of the twist he’d given to her innocent words. “And I like you very, very much as well.”

Belle tilted her head to the side, inviting a line of quick kisses along her neck, then remembered their task. “Rumple,” she interrupted his quest, “we’re not finished.”

Rumpelstiltskin capitulated without complaint, but trailed a hand along her hair wistfully before he walked back to his chair. “Tonight,” he said.

“We’ll be busy.”

“Oh, yes,” he promised. “We’ll roast those, eat, then put the boy to bed.” He brought up a finger at each point in the list. Teeth showing as he grinned, he wiggled the last two fingers as he continued, “The fire and the blankets, we can keep for a while longer.”

Belle, still blushing, nodded.

They resumed their work, though now there were more stolen glances mixed in.

After a while, Belle decided to speak up. “You don’t have to distract me, you know,” she told him after a little thought. “It’s all right if you prefer to stay by yourself. I just don’t want you to feel lonely.”

Rumpelstiltskin paused and stared, disconcerted that Belle might still worry that he found her lacking. “You’re here.” He waved between them, trying to encompass not only themselves but the life they made together even with something as simple as a snack for her child. “Believe me, love. That’s all I need.”

The End 21/12/18

[whatthekpopofficial]

A Simplified Guide To LOOΠΔ: Kpop's Most Anticipated Girl Group Of 2018

New and old Kpop fans alike can agree that learning a new group can be very daunting. From duos to a fully fledged, 10+ member group, things can get a little confusing during the learning process. LOONA (stylized as LOOΠΔ) is an upcoming, twelve-member girl group that every Kpop fan should get to know! However, even their "pre-debut" process has been quite extensive. With almost 30 unique music videos, three pre-debut units, various promotions, modeling for the brand "Innisfree," and 360+ "LOONA TV" episodes, it's no doubt that even just looking at the group's YouTube channel can be overwhelming. So, where does one start? I am here to give a simplified walk-through of the group's members, their back story, their unique (and detailed) debut concept, and the highlights of what to check out! Follow my lead and you'll soon become a LOONA expert— even before they officially debut! THE HISTORY Way back in October of 2016, Blockberry Entertainment, a subsidiary of Polaris Entertainment, initiated themselves as an official company for the first time to the public through a post on Naver. At the same time, they revealed their plans for a new kind of girl group and announced the 18-month long pre-debut project that would lead to their debut sometime in 2018. LOONA is also known as 이달의 소녀 (Idalui Sonyeo) which translates to "Girl of the Month." The name was tied to the concept that each of the twelve members would be revealed individually each month and release their own solo music and MV. All of the pre-debut songs released by LOONA would be streamed and sold as digital tracks. After a few members released their solo tracks, those same members would then come together to perform as a sub-unit. Each sub-unit promoted their title tracks on music programs for a period of time, and their songs were sold on physical mini-albums as well, some of them with various versions. After the sub-units were done promoting, the process would begin again with more members being introduced individually. Around the same time as gaining the copyright for the name 이달의 소녀 , BlockBerry also trademarked 이달의 소년 (Idalui Sonyeon) which translates to "Boy of the Month." This has given fans the feeling there will be an upcoming male group from BlockBerry Creative who will debut with a similar pre-debut concept. The group's icon is actually made of the first Hangul letter in each syllable of their Korean name. When rearranged, it creates the name LOOΠΔ in Romanized letters which acts as the group's international name.

THE MEMBERS Now, let's learn about the 12 members of LOONA! This list will be in order of when each member's music videos were released, along with their ultimate sub-unit. Each music video title has the corresponding music video attached in the link. 1/3 SUB-UNIT: Heejin

Age: 17 (Birthdate: October 19th, 2000) Nationality: Korean Representative Color and Animal: Rabbit & Bright Pink Sub-Unit: 1/3 Music video: "ViViD" released on October 4th, 2016. Hyunjin

Age: 17 (November 15th, 2000) Nationality: Korean Representative Color and Animal: Yellow & Cat Sub-Unit: 1/3 Music Video: "Around You" released on November 10th, 2016. Haseul (Speculated to be the leader)

Age: 20 (August 18th, 1997) Nationality: Korean Representative Color and Animal: Green & Bird Sub-unit: 1/3 Music Video: "Let Me In" released on December 15th, 2016) Yeojin (Maknae)

Age: 15 (November 11th, 2002) Nationality: Korean Representative Color and Animal: Orange & Frog Sub-unit: 1/3 Music Video: "Kiss Later" released on January 15th, 2017 ViVi

Age: 21 (December 9th, 1996) Nationality: Chinese Representative Color and Animal: Pastel Rose & Deer Sub-unit: 1/3 Music Video: "Everyday I Love You" released on April 16th, 2017 LOONA 1/3

ODD EYE CIRCLE SUB-UNIT Kim Lip

Age: 18 (February 10th, 1999) Nationality: Korean Representative Color and Animal: Red & Owl Sub-unit: ODD EYE CIRCLE Music Video: "Eclipse" released May 22nd, 2017 JinSoul

Age: 22 (June 13th, 1997) Nationality: Korean Representative Color and Animal: Blue & Siamese Fighter Fish Sub-unit: ODD EYE CIRCLE Music Video: "Singing In The Rain" released June 25th, 2017 Choerry

Age: 16 (June 4th, 2001) Nationality: Korean Representative Color and Animal: Purple & Fruit Bat Sub-unit: ODD EYE CIRCLE Music Video: "Love Cherry Motion" released on July 27th, 2017 LOONA ODD EYE CIRCLE

YXYY SUB-UNIT Yves

Age: 21 (May 24th, 1997) Nationality: Korean Representative Color and Animal: Burgundy & Swan Sub-unit: yxyy Music Video: "new" released November 27th, 2017 Chuu

Age: 18 (October 20th, 1999) Nationality: Korean Representative Color and Animal: Peach & Penguin Sub-unit: yyxy Music Video: "Heart Attack" released December 27th, 2017 Go Won

Age: 17 (November 19th, 2000) Nationality: Korean Representative Color and Animal: Eden Green & Butterfly Sub-unit: yyxy Music Video: "One and Only" released on January 29th, 2018 Olivia Hye

Age: 16 (November 13th, 2001) Nationality: Korean Representative Color and Animal: Grey & Wolf Sub-unit: yyxy Music Video: "Egoist" released March 29th, 2018 LOONA yyxy

THE CONCEPT The members of LOONA have been active throughout their own series of videos called "LOONA TV." There has been over 360 of them since the first one that was posted back on October 12th, 2016. They range anywhere from 20 seconds long to a minute long (with a few of them being 10-12 minutes long). They usually show the girls messing around, buying gifts for each other, or preparing for their music videos, photoshoots, and pre-debut promotional events. After delving deeper into research on the group, I came to notice unique patterns and themes. These include "mirrored" tracks, connected members, and something called the LOONA-verse! The mirrored tracks would include songs released (usually duets or a solo member featuring on another member) in-between the "official" releases. They would include: two of the same songs with slightly altered lyrics, two songs with the exact same theme, one song acting as an intro for the second song, or both songs having the same melody and lyrics but being an entirely different genre. Some of these include: Haseul & Yeojin's "My Melody" vs. Heejin & Hyunjin's "My Sunday" ViVi's "Everyday I Love You" vs. "Everyday I Need You" LOONA 1/3's "Love and Live" vs "Love and Evil" Kim Lip's "Eclipse" (Produced by Cha Cha Malone) vs. "Twilight" (Produced by Daniel Obi Klein) ODD EYE CIRCLE's "Girl Front" and "ODD Front" ODD EYE CIRCLE's "ODD" and "ADD" On top of those tracks, quite a few acoustic versions of title songs were released alongside the original. Many instances of play-on-word connections like Go WON's "ONE and only" and Choerry's "Love CHERRY motion" are seen. Chuu's debut song "Heart Attack" became a big deal for its music video with light, romantic, homosexual themes. Chuu is seen having a little crush on her fellow member Yves, whose own song lyrics, interestingly enough, mirror the lyrics of "Heart Attack." According to fans, "Heart Attack" was heard being played at various pride celebrations around South Korea. The LOONA-verse was first mentioned with the release of the second sub-unit's (ODD EYE CIRCLE) music video for "Girl Front" on September 20th, 2017. The description of the video explains the creation of the first subgroup, LOONA 1/3. It mentions that the "3" in the name consists of HeeJin, Hyunjin, and Haseul. Yeojin joined to add "/" and ViVi joined to add their "1," creating LOONA 1/3. ODD EYE CIRCLE, consisting of Kim Lip, JinSoul, and Choerry, has a darker concept video with hard-hitting, techno-influenced tracks. Within the music videos for "Eclipse," "Singing in The Rain," and "Love Cherry Motion," various moons are seen, as well as a unique color pattern that fans began to connect to each member. The word ODD was to represent the unique style of these three, as well as the fact that ODD looks like three moons stacked upon each other. The teasers for the sub-unit also revolved around moons, and eclipses were seen within each member's eyes. Finally, the third and final pre-debut sub-unit, LOONA yyxy, made their debut through "love4eva," released on May 30th, 2018. It was filmed in Budapest and featured Grimes, a famous Canadian songwriter and music producer. The description of this video seems to be pulling the band together finally, showing how each of the solo members have joined together to make a sub-unit, and now the sub-units will combine to "create a world." While LOONA 1/3 sang about the excitement of first love, LOONA ODD EYE CIRCLE followed up with a sense of courage to go after that love. LOONA yyxy rounded it out beautifully within their album's tracks by singing of how sweet and luminous their fulfilled love is. However, yyxy member's solo tracks (noteably "Egoist" and "new"), interestingly enough, showed themes of self-worth and staying away from negative relationships. Through various video descriptions and hints dropped within each MV, fans have found a unique thread that connects some members to others. It seems as though the LOONA-verse consists of three alternate universes of some sort that will collide and complete the beginning of LOONA's story for their official debut. THE BOTTOM LINE On top of pre-debut promotions with LOONA, members Hyunjin, Heejin and Haseul were contestants on the YG Entertainment's competition program "MIXNINE". Heejin made it all the way into the top 9 finalists until changes were made by the company and the group did not end up debuting as planned. Recently as well, within another video description, it was revealed that a ballad album, entitled LOONA Ballad, was in the works and is planned to be released in 2019. There is no doubt how much great music there is to explore through LOONA, even before their official debut! A huge variety of music styles are present, from broadway-exque showtunes to jazzy electro-swing and provocative pop melodies with EDM chorus beats. Still feeling overwhelmed, however No worries! I've broken down the most viewed and popular music videos from LOONA, as well as a few more unique tracks you simply must check out. Click the link below to see an easy to follow playlist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FCYE87P5L0&list=PLovyOn_7awDlW-HMwdfvwz8IIVFu4RdHv BlockBerry also seems to be fairly set on keeping LOONA open to the public, not only by their song choices, but also by their use of English. Many of the official music videos have been translated and subtitled in English. The song "LOONATIC" by ODD EYE CIRCLE is fully in English and was created to be the sub-unit's "international" title track. The official YouTube channel "loonatheworld" dropped a teaser video on June 10th showing the whole group performing together for the first time. Entitled, "(LOONA) go into Orbit," it revealed the date of the group's premiere greeting concert "Line Up" to be August 19th, 2018! This is likely when their debut music video will also be released, and fans are ecstatic at how soon it is! Check out the teaser below! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWZrt4fKNJs Finally, in preparation of their comeback, the group announced on July 9th that their official fandom name will be "Orbit." Due to the extensive "prep work" for their debut, the detailed concept for the group, the numerous music video and song released and more, LOONA has already earned a dedicated fan base and is considered by many the most anticipated girl group of 2018.

I hope this has helped a few people bloom into new fans and has shown the incredible thought, detail, and hard work that had been put into making the debut of LOONA! Are you ready to stan these twelve amazing and talented girls? Did this help you learn more about LOONA? Are there any questions that weren't covered here? Are you excited for their debut? Let us know in the comments! CaptainMal has been into Korean Entertainment for seven years now, since 2010. She travels to conventions in her area, showcasing her “Kpop Game Show’” and occasional Kpop cosplay. Although her favorite bands are INFINITE, Super Junior, and VIXX, she boasts a love for a huge variety of artists. Other than Kpop, CaptainMal loves Disney, 80’s rock, Daft Punk, Gaming, and Orange Juice. Media: BlockBerry Creative Read the full article

[tkmedia]

USWNT has tools to be first to win Olympics after winning World Cup

12:13 PM ETThe countdown is officially on for the Olympic Games and let me tell you: I wasn't entirely convinced we ("we" meaning the world) would make it to Tokyo during a pandemic, but here we are on the threshold. So that was one surprise -- and honestly, it takes a heck of a lot to surprise me these days -- given the year-and-a-half we have lived through. But in this past week, two more pleasant surprises got me as well. They came in the form of Tobin Heath and the International Olympic Committee.Heath seems ready to roar. Yes, she is back. In a race against the clock, the question on everyone's mind heading into the final U.S. women's team roster selection for Tokyo was: Would Heath make it back? And not just back, but fit enough to contribute given the six months she was away from the game due to ankle and knee injuries. Coming into the final two sendoff games for the U.S. against Mexico, Heath had not played for the USWNT since Nov. 20, 2020. Her last competitive match was Dec. 20, 2020 with her club, Manchester United.Heath even admitted to me over the phone recently that "I definitely had a moment in the beginning of my injury where I grieved possibly not making this Olympics. I knew I could give it a try and still not make it. I had to give it everything... really give it everything."2 RelatedAnd give it everything she did."Every day I really, truly had to be checking off all the boxes, doing every possible thing for preparation. I know what is required to play in big tournaments. With that in mind, everything was geared toward not wasting a single second to be where the team needed me to be."That attention to detail became abundantly clear against Mexico. In her first touch off the bench in the 74th minute during the July 1 game, she immediately tracked back to win a ball defensively, spun to get the ball back straight away in transition, and scored (of course) with her second touch of the game, converting from way outside the box.Welcome back, indeed.The USWNT have a strong squad, endless energy and plenty of options heading into the rescheduled Olympics. Now comes the hard part: putting it all together to win gold and make history. Elsa/Getty ImagesIn the second game against Mexico, her first start for the U.S. since Nov. 20, 2020, Heath scored a goal, smacked a shot off the crossbar that Christen Press (with a little help from Mexico) put away off the rebound, drew what I think should have been a penalty, had another assist to Press that was incorrectly called offside, and created chance after chance in her 45 minutes in the first half.And yes, Mexico is not the caliber of team the U.S. will be facing at the Olympics, but the movement, sharpness and confidence you saw in Heath over two games left you wondering how one could be so sharp having not played in six months. Well, national team coach Vlatko Andonovski and Alex Morgan both summed it up perfectly: that is just Tobin being Tobin.My other pleasant surprise? The roster being increased from 18 to 22 players (each team can dress only 18 players per match). I thought the International Olympic Committee would not do that, even given a pandemic, the short schedule of the Olympics -- six games in 17 days to win it all -- and the heat and humidity of Tokyo. I didn't think they would budge off the 18-player roster.Why? My guess is they didn't want to (1) spend more money; and (2) give the more developed women's soccer nations an advantage (to which I say, why should countries who invest in the women's game be held back, as deeper rosters are something everyone should be aiming for?).In the end, the right decision was made.play2:36Carli Lloyd, Tobin Heath lead the United States to a 4-0 victory over Mexico in their final match before the Olympics.Now to the Games and Group G, which I am calling the Group (that everyone) Guessed, with the U.S., Sweden, Australia and New Zealand.Of course, it was going to be the U.S. and Sweden, a matchup seemingly written in the stars. The U.S. has faced Sweden 41 times, but they've been drawn in the group stage at six major World Championships, five of those coming at the World Cup. And if the historical significance is not enough, Sweden knocked the U.S. out of the 2016 Rio Olympics at the quarterfinals stage, marking the first time they'd ever been eliminated before the final four.Of course, it was going to be New Zealand. Tom Sermanni, head coach of New Zealand, was a former head coach of the USWNT, for a short stint in 2013-2014. He also was the head coach of Australia's women's team in the late-1990s and again in the mid-2000s.Of course, it was going to be Australia, whose head coach is now Tony Gustavsson, former longtime assistant coach with the U.S. women's team under both Pia Sundhage and Jill Ellis, winning two World Cups with Jill and an Olympics with Pia. Tony also hails from Sweden (of course he does). He even acknowledged to me recently that this was in fact the exact group he guessed as well.So there you have it: the group that everyone guessed. Tony knows this U.S. team better than most, by the way, and we saw how that worked out at the last Olympics with Sundhage being at the helm for Sweden, fresh off her time with the U.S. team. This Australia game will be a difficult one.In terms of group G, it's a tough one overall. I would argue that each team is the best team of their respective pots from the Olympic draw. The U.S. plays Sweden on July 21, New Zealand on July 24 and Australia on July 27, and I do like that the U.S. plays Sweden first.Heath, second from left, was at her brilliant best in the Send-Off Series after not playing for over six months due to various injuries. It speaks to the remarkable depth this USWNT squad boasts, something that's always been a strong suit. Maddie Meyer/Getty ImagesThe U.S. will be fresh, excited, and bursting at the seams to get out there and play. If the USWNT can get three points from that first game, I think for the second game against New Zealand, we'd see a similar rotation pattern as we've seen throughout Andonovski's tenure as coach. Carli Lloyd will start for Alex Morgan in that second game, with one of the midfielders in the Rose Lavelle/Lindsay Horan/Julie Ertz/Sam Mewis bucket slotting into the rotated midfield trifecta. Plus, to add to that midfield mix: Kristie Mewis and/or Catarina Macario.This is indeed the superpower of the U.S. women at this Olympics: the ability to make 4-5 changes without losing much at all. And finally, for that third game vs. Australia, I think you'd see something similar to the first game in terms of starting lineups, if everyone is healthy. And then from there, the experience and depth of the U.S. really plays a role.Knockout tournament soccer is something the U.S. knows better than anyone else. Of the initial 18 players named to the Olympic roster on June 23, they average 111 international caps per player and have a combined total of 77 Olympic appearances. They also have an average age of 30.8 years, though I think the U.S. women have been at the forefront of redefining how long a woman can play internationally and professionally.And most, if not all, of that U.S. front six will not be playing three games of 90 minutes in the group stages.That is where the full depth of squad will assist the USWNT. Fresh legs will be everything in that heat, as well as with the tight turn between games. Every team at the Olympics, unlike World Cups, has the exact same amount of rest (two days) between games, but not the same amount of fatigue if you are able to rotate your rosters. That is also why that first game against Sweden is so crucial, as three points there puts the U.S. in great shape to use that full rotation. And when you add in Heath and Julie Ertz close to returning from her knee injury, the U.S. roster shuffle just got immensely stronger.So there you have it: an Olympics that will be like no other. No family members in the camp, limited local fans and strict protocols keeping teams inside their bubbles will define this Olympics, but it will also be the best chance the U.S. women have had to do what has never been done before by any other women's team: win the Olympics after winning the Women's World Cup.No-one has done the back-to-back double, and this U.S. team has all the tools to do it. And after a week -- let's be honest, a whole year -- of surprises, this one would be no surprise at all. Read the full article

[imitranslates]

Fukigen na Mononokean Ch. 51

We finally get a peek and learn some interesting information! Here’s to hoping we finally get to see Aoi next month.

Please remember to check out the official English release when it comes out, preferably on Crunchyroll if you’re able to!

The newest chapter can be read on the official website by clicking the yellow button labeled 読む!

Fukigen na Mononokean Chapter 51 - Heap of Drawings

Page 1

Yahiko: I'm pretty sure it was a human with this kinda feeling!

[This human is...]

Page 2

[Ashiya's father...]

[Ashiya Sakae.]

Abeno: (A gakuran...)

Yahiko: When I went to Aoi's place to play,

This guy was there.

Yahiko: When I asked him, “Who are you?”

Page 3

Yahiko: He said, “I'm a servant of the Mononokean.”

Abeno: ......

Yahiko: I think he told me his name, too, but... I forgot.

Abeno: Is there anything else you remember?

Yahiko: No...

Abeno: You don't know whether this human has passed away, either?

Page 4

Yahiko: I don't know.

Yahiko: I don't keep track of whether every human

who doesn't bother to play with me could still be alive.

Page 6

Ashiya: Eh!?

Ashiya: Yahiko!? Transformed into Sakae?!

(Abeno: So noisy...)

Page 7

Ashiya: I wanna see, too! Mononokean! Go to Seiryuji Temple!

(Ashiya: I'll confirm if it's the real thing!!)

Abeno: I had to play with him all morning, day, and night. If you don't give him some kind of tribute, he's not gonna transform for you, you know? (I've been with him since the day of the cultural festival...)

Ashiya: ...Sakae's face... what was it like?

Abeno: He had blank-looking eyes...?

Abeno: And...

Abeno: He was wearing a school uniform, and looked to be about our age.

Ashiya: He was in high school?

Ashiya: Yahiko met him that long ago...?

(Then he must know something about the reason for Sakae's disappearance 16 years ago)

(And why he only came back home once after that, three years later...)

Page 8

(More over...)

Ashiya: ...Did Yahiko know anything about when Sakae died?

Abeno: No...

Abeno: He didn't play with him, so Yahiko didn't even remember his name. (It seems he just barely managed to remember what he looked like.)

Ashiya: (If you don't play with him, you'll end up completely forgotten?!)

Abeno: They only met that one time,

So Yahiko's pretty much unrelated.

Page 9

Abeno: For the purposes of our investigation, Aoi is the only one who's connected.

Ashiya: What are those books...?

Abeno: These are all of Aoi's written reports for work.

We might be able to get an idea of the circumstances of Sakae's death with these.

Ashiya: W-

Ashiya: When was it!?

Page 10

Abeno: First, look at this.

Ashiya: This is...

Page 11

Ashiya: A drawing of a demon...?

Abeno: This is a demon that Aoi exorcised.

Abeno: But, what you should be looking at isn't that...

Abeno: It's this “cat.”

Ashiya: Eh...? Where...? Ah, it's really there! A hidden cat...! (I didn't notice it at all...)

Page 12

Abeno: There are other pages with this same cat drawn on them.

Ashiya: Let's see...

Ashiya: I found it!

Ashiya: There's one here, too...!

Ashiya: And here...?!

Abeno: That report has the first cat.

After that, there are a bunch of cats scattered throughout.

Abeno: The total number is 209... (I shouldn't have overlooked any.)

Ashiya: (He was tirelessly working on this Where's Wal** like assignment on his own. (If he said something, I would have helped...!))

Abeno: Before this point, there were decorative drawings hidden inside the portraits of demons.

I've looked at many of these sketches.

Abeno: But the timing and amount of appearances of this cat, when checked again Yahiko's testimony...

Page 13

Abeno: This cat symbolizes...

Abeno: The times Ashiya Sakae was working as a servant of the Mononokean.

Ashiya: ...Sakae was...

Ashiya: A servant of the Mononokean...!?

Abeno: There should be a written record of everyone who was ever employed by the Mononokean, but I haven't found anything in the reports.

Abeno: It seems Aoi was not only hiding it from the Legislator, but the Mononokean as well.

Page 14

Abeno: I can't say for certain why it was kept secret, but it's probably because Sakae was a human....

Ashiya: (I see...) There are demons who hate humans in the Underworld, too....

[For example...]

Abeno: Yeah...

Ashiya: ...But...

Ashiya: The fact that Sakae was employed by the Mononokean just like me...

Ashiya: I only met him once when I was little, so I felt like my connection to my father was pretty weak...

Ashiya: But this makes me feel a little closer to him.

Page 15

Abeno: .......

Abeno: In the Underworld Era, night 48, cycle 27, volume 11.

Request acceptance report number 143.

Abeno: That's the last request with a cat drawn on it.

Page 16

Abeno: The 143th request's report doesn't mention anything out of the norm.

Abeno: The next request, number 144, is the same.

Abeno: These two requests, when converted from the Underworld calendar to the Human world's...

Abeno: Took place 16 years ago...

Abeno: On November 1st and November 2nd.

Page 17

Ashiya: The day Sakae first disappeared was...

November 2nd...

Abeno: In autumn, 16 years ago...

Abeno: So the time period matches up with that story, after all,

Mononokean?

Page 18

[I don't recall the exact date, but it was fall...]

[I think it was a little before I met Itsuki.]

[There was a request to exorcise a demon, and so Aoi went out.

A long time passed, and I had been worried because Aoi didn't come back...]

[It must have been horrible, because Aoi finally returned

and was wounded.]

[I tried to find out what happened, but Aoi only dodged my questions, and I wasn't able to get any details.]

[But when I kept asking insistently...]

Page 19

Mononokean: “I sat vigil at a cat's side.”

[...Aoi said that,]

[While crying.]

Page 20

Abeno: The last picture of the cat... and Aoi's words...

The day Sakae disappeared...

Abeno: If we take all this into account...

Abeno: Ashiya Sakae passed away on November 2nd.

Page 21

Abeno: Between the 143rd and the 144th reports,  there's traces of many pages being torn out.

Abeno: The day Sakae died must have originally been written about here...

Ashiya: That's not possible.

Ashiya: Three years after that...

Ashiya: When I was three years old, he came back, you know?

Ashiya: My mom and my sister met him.

Ashiya: Those two wouldn't have been mistaken.

Ashiya: That was definitely the real “Sakae.”

Page 22

Abeno: That was probably Aoi, taking the form of Ashiya Sakae.

Ashiya: ...Huh?

Page 23

Abeno: Aoi was...

A talented demon, unlike any other.

Abeno: Among anything that exists in the human world,

Abeno: Aoi has a unique and godlike ability to change into whatever could be  visualized.

Abeno: Even humans who can't see demons are able to perceive Aoi.

Page 24

Ashiya: Then...

Ashiya: The person I always thought was my father is...

Ashiya: ......

Page 25

(Aoi-san...!?)

Page 26

Ashiya: ...I see...

Ashiya: That's why he disappeared so soon afterward...

Ashiya: ..Going as far as to transform into a dead person...

Ashiya: Why did Aoi did appear before us?

Page 27

Abeno: ...I wonder.

Abeno: I've only looked the reports concerning what happened 16 years ago, but...

The reason for showing up three years later in that form....

Abeno: Aoi is the only one who really knows.

(November 2nd... Looking at the 144th's report...)

(What was written for it is very much “normal”...)

(Maybe there are other unique markings left in demon portraits...)

Page 28

Abeno: ......

[Could there be some meaning in this stupid-looking drawing...?]

Abeno: What was Aoi thinking...?

That idiot...

[wordsfromme4]

Between the ages of 17-21, Instead of doing my life exactly as I wanted. I settled and stupidly adopted an “adult” mentality to just settle and take life and deal. I didn’t want to burden my family, pretty much my mom and sister, because I was very well aware of the fact that I came from a low income single parent household. My first job was the catalyst for a horrible traumatic spiral of pain and misery for my life, that I then lost my way for so long. I lost my sense of self confidence, ambitions, everything. I let myself stay while trying to find something else, at only the age of 18, where honestly at that age I should’ve been able to be as fickle and childlike as anyone should be able to. I was still young, and I should’ve allowed myself to be. So I spent months until in desperation, when the first new job came my way, I took it and bolted out from that horrid place because that was the adult thing to do. I didn’t know that one can leave a job without a back up if the job is that painful for one to work at. So now I’m at the 2nd job, and it turned out to be a nightmare for me as well. Not in the same exact as the first, but I have trauma from it too. On top of the fact that, they fired me due to my inability to perform as a top employee during the probation period. However, if im being fair, I really tried. The first month of my working there, I was still trying to adjust myself to the new job and new format on top still trying to heal from the prior months of trauma, so I wasn’t always on time. They only allowed for a 2 minute grace period and I had came from a job that was so dysfunctional, they didn’t care what time you came in because they were always going to ask me to stay an extra hour or so past my time anyway. I was never horrendously late, anywhere between 10-30 minutes would occur. Yet, I would almost always stay anywhere between 30 minutes to an 1 and a half even past the time I was scheduled for. So of course now coming into a new job, I had to fix this pattern but it took me a little time. I started to adjust afterwards but by the end of the 3rd month I ran into a new issue where I was going back to school for the fall semester and I had numerous instances in the week for about 3 weeks where I either had a call out or lateness because I could no longer do the original schedule they gave me when they hired me for the summer. Finally by about the end of September after haggling them about it and reminding them and just back and fourth they gave me an appropriate schedule I could work with but a few days later, after evaluating my performance overall, they fired me. That devastated  me, because 1, who wants to get fired from a job and 2, I already had so much Trauma from the earlier months within that year. so I fervently searched for a new job while stretching the financial aid check during the last couple of months of 2012. I didn’t want to look irresponsible or childish or go a long period without a job to then have to rely on my mother or sister to financially take care of me and for them to feel bothered or burdened by it. So I was jumping for joy, when once more the first job that called me in for interview, offered me the job. Duane Reade was meant to be temporary, a job to help me get back on my feet after 2012 was a year of horrible experiences. ( One more horrible experience happened at the end of that year but it’s not job related so I won’t go into the details. Once again, I struggled adjusting. My main focus was school, especially since the fall semester was such a prosperous one for me. I received all A’s and made the dean’s list and it made me feel so good, like I was my old self still. Anyway, the first few months were tumultuous  handling my spring 2013 semester( which was a fairly decent one, I still made dean’s list) and had fieldwork during the day to do for the one education class I had taken. The staff was okay for the most part, I was grateful that they weren’t hood and horrible like the staff at my first job. I had an interview for bath and body works in the fall of that year and I was almost in and everything, the manager just needed my managerial reference to come through. I had kennedy ( the one decent manager I had from burger king) on there, however, he kept not picking up the phone. She asked if I had another manager possibly to speak to, and of course century was out of the question. something in me felt like I couldn’t really use them since they were the ones that fired me and also because I didn’t really have a manager there, I had like 8 managers and not one that actually knew me. So I used my current head manager, and although he talked me up and secured me the job, he stabbed me in the back shortly after. He bought up my wanting to leave and convinced me to stay. I already had the hardship or my last two jobs, especially Century, that I feared possibly being out of work. He seriously made me fear leaving and said that they might not work with my school schedule, and that once I leave, I cant come back to this store. So I conceded because he was a selfish jerk.... staff wise...  There was a girl there who really had a mood swing issue that made it difficult to work with her at times, as well as an shift leader/assistant manager who I strongly disliked for his childlike demeanor, insensitivity and just overall eww-ness. I will never forget how on one particular day I had diarrhea and instead of allowing me to go home after telling him I wasn’t feeling well, he sent home another co-worker of mine for either not being prepared for work that day or for disrespect. So you would rather keep a sick employee at work and send a unprepared and/or disrespectful one home? I hated conflict so much, so me speaking up more than the two times that I did, wasn’t something I was trying to do. So I grin and bared through the day. Guess what happened that night? About maybe an half an hour or an hr before my shift was done, I accidentally had a little accident and had some poop in my underwear from a leak that came out before I could make it to the bathroom. So that night with uncomfortable underwear on, I hurried home. And in the midst of the bus ride to my house, my phone was stolen. Normally, I would’ve been sitting down and or on my phone but I didn’t even want to sit on the bus or on the train ride before the bus because of my underwear being soiled. In a moment of vulnerability, where I had just quickly slipped my phone from my bag pocket and placed it back in the side pocket, a guy was behind me and slipped it out and walked out the back door in less than 2 minutes. And just like that my phone was gone after a horrid day at work. That should’ve told me to leave that store, but I kept the fear of a new job either not working with my schedule or possibly being a problematic job and firing me, that I stayed. Around the end of 2015, more so going into the 2016, I met a person who unfortunately stole the last flickers of light I had left in me. In 2016 I was still okay, almost done finally, with college and trying to just wrap that up and once I wrapped that up I knew I was going to leave the store once and for all. But here he comes along with his sad stories and made me feel so much pity and sorrow for him, I ended up being with him for four years. And I suffered for 3 and a half of those years. And even now, with 3-4 months of no longer being with him, I still suffer from all the ways he stole time, health and piece of mind from me. The last 8-9 years of my life, have been filled with so much trauma and hardship I don’t have it in me anymore. I have so much anxiety and lack of enthusiasm for my life. I spend every day angry and sad at what has become of my life. And I apologize to my 16 year old self everyday. I’ve also realized I have many half assed, bare minimum and toxic friends and family. So hooray for me. It’s so hard because there is so much that I want to do, so much that I wanted to be. And I had ambition and independence since I was a teenager. I even volunteered by myself in the summer of my sophomore year of high school for a food pantry when most kids at 15 were probably trying to find guys to have their first time with and get the newest clothes and electronics. 

Now I have all this damage, health conditions, and teeth and mouth trauma, all of which could’ve been avoided.

Life sucks.