#you cant trust me with these things

[caxycreations]

I discovered a typewriter simulating website and the first thing I did was be weird and dark

[justaz]

merlin (immortal) giving arthur (pendragon) the only blade that could kill him

[inkskinned]

im having a particularly terrible night with urges and imagery that i dont know how to handle. i gave in to some things. held back on some others. but im barely holding on, dear internet stranger.

you do not owe me your time or your words.. but if you could write some hope into existence for me.. i would be unendingly grateful to you.

please. tell me how you do it. tell me how you survive. because im not so sure i can get through the fifteen days it'll take to get to my seventeenth birthday.

could you please give me something to place my faith in? i dont think the universe is watching out for me anymore.

i don't usually answer these, because i am not a professional, and you deserve professional help. when i was 17 i was terrified of the idea of professional help, because my household was extremely unsafe, and made it clear that if i ever chose to get help, i would be punished for it.

i hope this is not your case. i hope that you can call someone, and they can take you where you should go.

but i will give you the advice that i wish i got, when i couldn't get help at 17, when i was so bad that years later, i literally don't-know-how-i-survived it: what you want is peace, not death. your brain is sick. it has romanticized an ending where there are no consequences. where effort isn't necessary. where you can just... forget.

you want peace. that is a normal, human thing to want. maybe it feels more like you want quiet. or just... to take a break for a second.

here is what i will say: to end yourself means you never get to experience what it's like to actually be happy. i thought i knew what it was like, and i was bitter about it. i'd say - i've been happy, it's not worth it, because i didn't know what i was missing. i thought that happiness meant having a partner or having a job or money or a college degree. it sounded like effort. it sounded like something that had to happen to me.

for the first time in my life, just this week, i was able to go to a concert and just-enjoy-it. no liquor, no drugs. just stomping my feet and getting caught up in it. i didn't feel nervous or self-conscious or overwhelmed. i just had a good time. these days have a lot of these firsts for me - it is the first time i can eat cake without crying. it is the first time i can be around an exacto blade without supervision. it is the first time i have too many people to call when i am crying.

i can't tell you where you'll run into happiness, only that, for me, it started once i was out of that fucking house. it started once i figured out where the pain was coming from. once i figured out that i was not possessed, something medical was wrong with me. that i am not stupid or lazy, i have depression and adhd. the first few years were difficult. at 19, during my efforts to recover, i actually got worse by a considerable margin. and then, with time and patience - i got better.

happiness doesn't feel like what you think it will. in movies it's so golden and all-encompassing. but it doesn't fly into your hands when you buy your first car nor does it arrive in the arms of a partner nor does it require passing your classes. happiness came to me on a tuesday in the form of a red-winged blackbird, and i looked at her, and she looked at me, and i said - oh. the whole world suddenly filled itself in with color. like i had been forever-asleep. like every corner of every room was suddenly glistening.

it ended quickly, back then. it just stopped in to check in on me. but it was enough - this thing i had never experienced, but that i knew (logically) could happen. before that, i was only staying because it would make my mom sad if i died. that was my only reason. and then the happiness came, so strange and brilliant and lovely that for years i couldn't even look at it directly.

these days, things are so different. life is so much easier. i don't wish for death because so much of what i have is already at peace. my boss understands when i need a mental health day. people in general are less prone to high school drama. entire communities hold my hand and have my number. i have a car and a dog and a little apartment garden and candles on all available surfaces and today i bought myself a little cake just-to-celebrate-nothing. my body is my own and we are both dancing.

there are so many things i've gotten to taste in the last 10 years. i know, for you, that is an eon, because it's more than half of your life. but if it helps? in the 5 years between 17-21: i filled myself with laughter and love. i got to be a lead in a ballet and got my first tattoo and then my second and pierced my ears the way i'd wanted to (one of them professionally the other over a hot stove with a potato) and i discovered hozier is my favorite singer (i know. he was new back then) and i got my first real job and my first real paycheck and i hadn't ever been seen as smart but then i started to actually treat my adhd as a condition rather than a burden and people started saying you're like the smartest person in the room and my best friend met her husband who i will one day stand next to as maid of honor when he is her groom and i got to help people and make a stupid blog called "inkskinned" and find out that writing is actually my passion and that maybe i'm actually kind of good at it if i just practice and i got to meet my parents' dog (his name is kaiju) and i slept on couches and kissed people and tried new things and learned how to breathe without feeling my chest tighten and that peace is here, on this planet, that peace echoes everywhere, it is in my hair and my homework and my houseplants, it is quiet and divine and mine because i fought for it and i built it and yes i lost hair over it but holy shit the whole world feels like it is shifted through a sunbeam

recently someone asked me if i could go back in time to 6th grade, with all the knowledge i have now, would i? and without thinking, i barked absolutely not. i know i should say it's because i wouldn't want to risk losing any of this stuff - but really it's because i would never survive being a teenager again. it sounds incredibly lame and impossible, fake - but being a teenager was the hardest thing i ever did. i had no voice, no control, only fear and hatred.

but i did survive it. nothing about me is special. nothing about me is stronger than you or better prepared or more efficient. i didn't survive it perfectly. i made a lot of mistakes and lost a lot of friends and harmed myself in ways that i'm still recovering from. but i did survive it. and there is a part of me looking at you in the past and saying - i'm you in the future.

and holy shit. every day. every goddamn day i'm glad we survived to see the rest of it. because you hit 18 and everything changes. like, everything. and holy shit, it is infinitely worth it.

[nthflower]

Cuno should join Hardie boys in the future not RCM btw my unpopular hot take opinion thingie.

[pinkd3mon]

I just wanted an excuse to draw my Galacta with a cape propaganda

[miguxadraws]

more rat

i will try to control myself now i swear

sillies belong to @spitinsideme

[simplydnp]

Do you have the video of him saying love when the fan helped with the wrist thing? I’m not remembering this

i have a terrible memory, he says 'babe' not love, but same vibes imo, if not even moreso. cause 'love' is more of a british thing, so you'll see/hear people using it more casually, vs i don't see dan howell calling strangers 'babe' often

[disclaimer i don't own this footage and am not profiting off of it]

transcript:

fan: "to me?" dan: "yep, to you--the other way babe, no--"

[sluckythewizard]

THEY could give me the surgurey i need (inspired alot by evojellys designs for em. GREAT STUFF)

[sunnykeysmash]

Man of words

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

[bericas]

isaac & scott / mason & theo | sometimes all i think about is you

[fried-manto]

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[utterdrip]

astarion is sooooo funny hes like “why did you trust me! that was so fucking stupid !” [affectionate]

like my love having someone trust you and listen to you is like. Your Thing™️

[tobisiksi]

I'm aware that the message of the final episode of saiki k (when he finally stopped the volcano) is that you may not know your friends completely, everyone have thoughts or things about themselves that they hide for fear, shame or more reasons but that's okay

you will never know a person completely and it doesn't need to be something bad, it's something normal, the thing is that you must accept that fact

maybe wait until the other is ready to spill the tea or just accept that you may never know

saiki's friends may not know saiki completely, at the end they accept it in the episode and wait for him to be ready because that's what friends are for

at least that's the message I got

but damn

I wish they were a little bit more insistent

I know that it could had been a cliché ending if he revealed his powers on the last episode butbutbut

[aura-bug]

I don't think I've ever seen this much hype around just the BLURB of a new wc arc before, all these cool predictions/ideas are exciting!! I can't wait for us all to be inevitably disappointed when moonpaw is a gray cat with blue eyes playing the role of sad anxious medicine cat #4 and the voice haunting her is actually ashfur (back from th water) and its her mission to go find the moonBush and in order to do that we have to go through 400 pages of walking to the tribe

[kurolini909]

LATE BECAUSE I MESSED UP-

@zu-is-here

Happy birthday!!!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎁🎁🎁

So sorry for the timing-- I legitimately don't know what happened, we had it all planned out and everything, I'm going to scream-