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sisterspooky1013 · 11 months

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Gaslight, Chapter 7/48

(On previous posts I listed the chapter count as 58. I was trippin, it’s 48)

Rated X | Read it here on AO3

Dana taps her pen rapidly against the desktop, re-reading the chart for the umpteenth time.

Male, age 32, presenting with acute abdominal pain. Blood and urine tests came back normal, as well as x-ray and ultrasound. She puts in an order for a CT scan and an endoscopy, making a note for herself to follow it with a barium swallow if those tests aren’t conclusive.

“Who died?”

Dana looks up to see Dr. Thomas entering their shared office and smiles wearily.

“I guess that isn’t a great joke for a hospital setting, is it?” the younger woman adds, taking a seat behind her desk and cracking open a can of soda.

Her copper-skinned face and wide, bright smile had been a welcome second impression after Dana’s initial entry into St. Agnes, and the two became fast friends. Thick-waisted and ample-breasted, Dr. Thomas insisted that Dana call her by her first name, Tiffany, and simply smiled sadly and told her it didn’t matter when Dana asked if they had met during her previous tenure there.

“Sorry if I’m being moody,” Dana says with a sigh, leaning back in her seat. “I didn’t sleep well last night and it’s my husband’s birthday today—I’m just feeling a bit overwhelmed.”

Tiffany arches a curious eyebrow as she logs into her computer.

“Does he have unrealistic birthday expectations or something?” she posits. “One of those people that expects to be treated like royalty?”

Dana shakes her head.

“It has nothing to do with him. I think I’m just putting a lot of pressure on myself.”

What she doesn’t tell Tiffany is that as she and Cal have become more physically intimate over the course of the last week—mostly just kissing, and one instance of wine inspired dry humping on the living room couch—her dreams have intensified to the point that they wake her several times at night.

Sometimes they, she and the man, are in the kitchen with the green countertops. She’s washing dishes and he wraps his arms around her waist, or they are dancing in the middle of the room, sometimes kissing as they move across the floor. She can see his face, his hooded green eyes and full mouth, his impish smile. He’s tall, close in height to Cal, and sometimes he is walking her slowly backwards, grabbing at her ass and pulling her close so she can feel him, stiff against her belly. There is always music, though she can’t quite hear it; she senses that it’s there. In some dreams he’s looking up at her from between her thighs, in others his cock is hovering inches from her face. But it’s the ones where she’s riding him, feeling him not just physically but emotionally, that affect her the most. Those are the dreams that pull her from a dead sleep flushed and humming, that send Cal down the hallway to check on her after another nightmare. They are the reason she can’t quite bring herself to return to the master bedroom, for fear that she will call out the other man’s name in her sleep. But then, at least, she’d know what his name is.

“Men are easy,” Tiffany says, giving her a meaningful look. “Give him a steak dinner and a hummer and you’re good to go til next year.”

Dana barks a surprised laugh, but her belly twists. She has the passing thought that maybe being fully intimate with Cal will relieve her of these sordid memories, these haunting dreams. But at the same time, they feel like all she has left of something that was clearly very important to her at one time.

“We’re getting dinner at Mercato,” she supplies. “Have you been there?”

“Yeah, Rick’s taken me there a few times. It’s nice,” Tiffany answers. “Do you have a sitter for the kids?”

“They’ll be at the neighbors’ while we’re out to dinner, but it’s a school night so we can’t stay out too late.”

“Sounds like fun,” Tiffany quips, then stands and drapes her stethoscope over her neck. “I have rounds. See you tomorrow?”

“Yep.”

Tiffany gets as far as the threshold of the door, then stops and looks back at her with a serious expression. Dana lifts her eyebrows in question and waits.

“Don’t forget to cup the balls,” Tiffany says, holding her hand palm up with the fingers curled as though cradling a pair of testicles.

Dana’s groan at her tasteless joke is cut short by the clip of the door closing.

“You look great,” Cal says uncomfortably, and Dana smiles demurely.

“Thanks,” she replies, pulling in a breath and looking around the restaurant.

It’s small, only a dozen tables or so, and the ambiance is decidedly romantic: low lighting, flickering candles, smooth jazz music lilting from cleverly hidden speakers. She tugs on the neckline of her dress, which is a low scoop that reveals the tops of her pushed-up breasts. She’d felt good when she put it on, admiring her silhouette in the bathroom mirror, but now that Cal’s eyes keep falling down to her chest as they try, awkwardly, to make conversation, she feels exposed and vulnerable. They’ve only gotten as far as water glasses on the table beside their menus, and already she can’t wait for this meal to be over.

“How was work today?” he attempts, and she remembers Tiffany’s advice regarding his gift.

“It was okay,” she says blandly, and again they fall into tense silence. Cal’s shoulder jumps and his head quirks to the side, and she knows she’s making him uncomfortable with her own discomfort. “Um, I didn’t really know what to get you for your birthday—” she starts, but Cal stops her.

“You don’t need to get me anything, Dana,” he insists, and she nods once.

“I didn’t, actually,” she admits, and he smiles shyly. “But I had this idea that maybe we could sort of—recreate something. An event that was important but that I can’t remember. Kind of a do-over.”

His smile blooms into a delighted grin, and she feels a warm flush in her belly.

“Really? Like what?”

Dana shrugs. “I don’t know, you tell me. This is something I can’t help you with, unfortunately.”

Cal sits back in his seat, pondering with a playful glint in his eye. The waiter approaches their table and asks about a drink order, and Cal turns to Dana.

“Let’s get out of here,” he says, and she flashes her eyes over to the waiter in embarrassment.

“Right now?” she asks in a low voice.

“I apologize,” Cal directs to the apron-clad man waiting beside the table expectantly. “There’s somewhere else we need to be.”

He tosses a twenty dollar bill on the table top and stands up, extending his hand to Dana. She takes it and follows him out of the restaurant, choosing to trust him enough not to ask where they’re going.

When Cal pulls the front door of O’Blarney’s open, smoke seeps out and curls into the evening air. She walks in and is greeted by all the trappings of a dive bar: pool tables, dart boards, worn down pinball machines, and the saturated stink of cigarettes and hops. The floor is covered in patchy green carpet and the man behind the bar looks like he’s ready to pose for a mugshot.

Cal directs her to a table and then goes to the bar to get them drinks, returning with a beer for him and a cocktail for her. She takes an experimental sip and smiles with pleasant surprise.

“Gin and tonic?” she asks, and he bobs his head.

“That’s what you used to drink when we met,” he says, scooting his chair closer to hers.

She looks around at the clientele. The bar is relatively busy for a Monday evening, and most of the patrons have the comfortable posture of regulars. A swarthy man in a camo jacket leers at her, and Cal slings his arm over the back of her chair posessively.

“So, what are we recreating?” she asks, taking another sip.

“This is where we met,” he tells her fondly, and her eyebrows lift in surprise.

“Here?”

Cal nods, clearly enjoying her reaction.

“Tell me,” she encourages him, touching his knee lightly for emphasis. He covers her hand with his and holds it there, and she feels a little flutter of excitement.

“I used to come here all the time,” he begins. “Me and my buddy Ryan would come almost every night after work to play pool or just talk. I started seeing you come in every once in a while with another regular, this woman Erin, do you remember her?”

“Erin?” Dana repeats. “I don’t think so.”

“Anyway, you were here with Erin one night and I decided to make my move.” Dana smiles at him and he shakes his head dismissively. “I totally struck out. I think I asked you if you were new to the area or some cliche bullshit, and you pretty much brushed me off. But I saw you again a couple weeks later so I tried just introducing myself, and you were polite but clearly not interested.”

“Ouch,” Dana says with a sympathetic pout.

“I know, it was rough. But there was just something about you. I don’t know, it just felt like I needed to know you, so I decided to go big—”

“Oh, no,” Dana groans, but she’s smiling around her anguished expression and Cal laughs.

“I know, I had no idea who I was dealing with. And Ryan was a horrible influence. He got me all hyped up on this “Say Anything” style gesture that would show you that I was worth giving a chance. And of course I got totally hammered first, for courage.”

“Oh, Cal,” Dana says, pressing one hand to her cheek. “You did something ridiculous, didn’t you?”

“I got up on that stage,” he says, pointing to a small elevated platform in the corner of the room, “even though it was not karaoke night, and I, uh—I sang you a song.”

“You didn’t.”

“Oh, I did. Very off key. But the bartender was kind enough to play the song so I had some accompaniment.”

“What was the song?” she asks hesitantly.

Cal clears his throat, closes his eyes, and sings, “Hands, touching hands. Reaching out. Touching me, touching youuuuu.”

“You’re joking,” Dana says flatly, and he opens his eyes and looks at her.

“Sweet Caroline, bah bah bah. Good times never seemed so good,” he croons creakily.

A genuine grin stretches across her face, and Cal elbows her in encouragement.

“So good, so good, so good,” she completes softly.

“I’ve been inclined,” he says in a whisper as he leans in, “to believe they never would.”

She accepts his kiss, returning it with a few soft smooches befitting a public setting. He pulls away, eyeing her with nothing short of adoration, and she finds herself feeling quite happy.

“And I went for that?” she questions cheekily.

“Absolutely not,” he answers, and she laughs. “By the time I stumbled off the stage you were gone. But I guess it did make some kind of impression, because about a week later Ryan and I were sitting over there shooting the shit,” he says with a thumb hitched toward a table near the wall, “and the waitress brought a drink over courtesy of a mystery woman at the bar.”

Dana makes a face, impressed with her own forwardness.

“And the rest is history?” she asks, and Cal bobs his head side to side.

“Somewhat. We stayed up all night talking, and you actually overslept and missed an interview,” he explains.

“What for?” she asks.

“The FBI, of all things. You said you weren’t totally sold on it being the right path for you, and when you woke up and realized you’d missed it, you decided it was fate.”

“Fate?” she repeats incredulously. Cal shrugs.

“Your words, not mine.”

“Hm,” she says, pondering.

She does remember the call from the FBI and setting up an interview. Her father was incensed that she was even considering it.

“Tell me about when you met my dad,” she asks, her voice suddenly tight.

“Oof,” Cal says with a grimace, and Dana mirrors it. “It was a little bit rough. He asked me about my family and where I’m from, which didn’t set us off on a great foot.”

“You lost your parents young,” she says, and he realizes she doesn’t remember the details.

“I never even met my dad,” he tells her, and her hand slides sympathetically back over his knee. “My mom was a junkie, and she OD’d when I was thirteen. I was in and out of foster care until I turned eighteen and joined the army.”

“I’m sure Dad liked that, though?” she says hopefully.

“Yes, once I was able to get that far and tell him about some of my accomplishments, he came around a little. But then I got you pregnant, and we weren’t married, and that knocked me down quite a few pegs.”

“Would it be wrong to say that I’m glad I don’t remember having to tell him that?” she asks with a pained smile.

“I only wish I were so lucky,” he replies, and they sit there for a moment, sharing smiles and affectionate glances. Cal blinks and shakes his head a little as though suddenly dazed.

“What?”

“I just got the most intense sensation of deja vu,” he says. “It happens to me a lot, actually.”

“Perhaps we’re living in an alternate universe,” she suggests, and he eyes her skeptically before he checks his watch.

“It’s almost eight, we better go get those rugrats to bed,” he says, and they stand, settling the bill before they walk out of the bar arm in arm.

After washing her face and pulling on an oversized sleep shirt, Dana turns down the guest bed and slides under the covers.

She thinks about her date with Cal, about her appointment with Michelle tomorrow, about Abby attending summer camp in a couple weeks when school gets out. She thinks about how grounded she’s beginning to feel, though the edges may always be fuzzy, and contentment washes through her body as she relaxes into the bed.

From down the hall, she hears a persistent murmur, like someone is talking. There is no TV in the master bedroom, and it almost sounds like maybe Cal is on the phone. She rises from the bed and creeps quietly down the hall, straining her ears. As she nears the bedroom door she recognizes that the sound is music, and she knocks gently.

“Yeah,” Cal says quietly. “You can come in.”

She pushes the door open and spots him sitting in an armchair near the window. He’s still wearing his slacks and dress shirt, his loosened tie hanging limply around his neck. He’s slumped down in the chair, his long legs extended before him and his elbows propped on the armrests, fingers steepled under his chin. His eyes are slightly swollen, his mouth set. He looks miserable.

Sweet Caroline, good times never seemed so good. I’ve been inclined to believe they never would.

She follows the sound to a small boombox on the dresser, then looks back to Cal.

“Are you okay?” she asks gently, still standing in the doorway.

He nods, then sniffs, and his jaw jerks to the side.

Dana enters the room, pushing the door closed behind her, and approaches him. He watches her with an anguished expression as she kneels down on the floor beside the chair, resting one hand on his knee.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, surprised that he’s not feeling the same buoyant optimism after their date.

Cal shakes his head solemnly, then reaches out and pushes her hair behind her ear.

“I don’t want to put my shit on you, Dana. Don’t worry about it,” he says, then attempts a smile.

“You’re not putting anything on me,” she says. “Please, tell me what happened.”

His watery smile widens, and her heart aches.

“Nothing happened, mija. We had a great night. It was a great birthday. It’s just hard sometimes, you know?”

She nods. She does know.

“I’m sorry,” she says, and he closes his eyes and grimaces.

“Please stop saying that,” he whispers.

She has the impulse to apologize again, so she sucks her bottom lip between her teeth. She thinks about the man from her dreams, how he feels so close in her mind and yet she can’t reach him. She thinks that maybe that’s how it is for Cal: she’s right here, but she’s also eight years away.

She shuffles forward on her knees, navigating around one of his legs until she’s positioned between them, her hands resting on the tops of his thighs. Cal opens his eyes and watches her, his jaw twitching. Dana swallows, tamping down the butterflies erupting in her belly as she slides her hands up to his hips. He tenses, but doesn’t move. His breathing is shallow, coming out in urgent little puffs. She hooks her fingers under the waist of his slacks and meets his eye.

“Let’s go to bed,” she says huskily, and he shifts a little in his seat.

“Are you sure?” he asks, but she can already see him responding in her periphery. She knows how much he wants her, and she wants to want him too. She wants to feel the way she feels in her dreams: seen, adored, worshiped.

She nods.

He rises slowly from the chair and she stands, wrapping her arms around his waist as he cradles her face in his hands. And she does feel adored by him, she has since the day she came home. She just wasn’t ready to accept it.

And when I hurt, hurting runs off my shoulders. How can I hurt when holding you?

He walks her backwards toward the bed, lays her down gently, touches her like she is the most precious thing on earth. He worships her, he loves her, he makes her come.

And all the while she is thinking. Thinking of him—he. His hands on her hips and his mouth on her ear, and the way his body fits into hers like a missing piece of a puzzle.

She sleeps in the master bedroom, Cal wrapped around her like a vine. Awash in dopamine and oxytocin, she prays that she won’t always long for her dreams.

She flexes her hips forward and back, her slick lips sliding over his shaft as he kisses her sweetly. She wants him, and she feels ready—so ready. She feels the press of his head against her opening and she arches her back, angling herself just right, and he begins to slide into her. There is a stretch, a sting, and she gasps a little even as she’s still taking him deeper, wanting more of him. They stay still for moments, panting against each other’s mouths, until he sits up and takes her face in his hands. His kisses grow urgent, needy, and she rises up halfway, falling back down with a little whimper. He moans, his hips jumping off the bed, trying to get more of her. She’s never felt so wanted in her entire life.

“Fuck, Scully. I love you,” he groans, and she feels herself rising, gathering, melting into him. Becoming one.

Tagging @today-in-fic

#the x files #x files fanfic #txf #dana scully #fox mulder #xf fanfic #x files #the x-files

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therockandrolllibrarytroll · 2 years

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Trauma and Stands in JJBA

So this has been swirling around my head for a bit, and because I just lost my job today I figured it would be good to take my mind off of it by indulging in a bit of analytical escapism instead.

It’s stated several times throughout Jojo that Stands are a manifestation of a person’s most innate self, their “soul” if you will. Some Stands can be a manifestation of positive aspects of a person’s soul, such as Tusk Act IV being a representation of Johnny Joestar’s resilience or Crazy Diamond being a representation of Josuke’s protective nature. It can be a great character analysis to just break down the aspects of a stand and how it relates to each character of Jojo. But that’s gonna be a super long essay that I don’t have the energy to write.

What I want to talk about is how Stands can be a representation of things like trauma and negative coping mechanisms associated with it. Specifically, part 5 characters that are good examples of this. There could obviously be others from different parts, but these are the ones that I’ve been thinking about.

The most obvious one would be Fugo. His stand has a lot of meaning to it. I think a lot of people tend to look at his character at only a surface level. Even if you want to discount the anime’s expansion on his backstory, it’s super clear that this kid has experienced serious trauma. Children don’t just become angry without reason. Fugo’s anger is a direct result of trauma, and we can see that with Purple Haze. It’s a Stand built to push people away, to lash out at friend or foe, or even Fugo himself. It’s a representation of Fugo’s desire to isolate himself as a way to cope, which is a common trait among people with CPTSD (article here: https://medium.com/invisible-illness/the-reasons-people-with-complex-ptsd-self-isolate-846266b52a6d). That anger, and by extension Purple Haze, are walls and armor Fugo built.

Another obvious example would be Abbacchio. While his Stand is useful in the events of Vento Aureo, Moody Blues’ ability is a clear representation of symptoms of rumination in PTSD (article here: https://sites.tufts.edu/emotiononthebrain/2014/11/18/hooked-on-a-feeling-intrusive-and-ruminative-symptoms-in-ptsd/). It’s ability is to play back the events of the past, much like how a person with PTSD will replay the memories of a traumatic event in their minds. Obviously the trauma of losing his partner as a cop would make this make sense. Personally, this makes me feel like Abbacchio is one of the most tragic characters in part 5 at least. What would his stand look like if he hadn’t experienced what he had? Not to mention his meeting with Bruno heavily implies engaging in substance abuse.

Less obvious, but still interesting would be Bruno’s stand. There’s an issue with children of divorce having to deal with “split loyalty.” Even if the divorce his parents had was amicable, and even if Bruno decided to stay with his father, he had to essentially split himself apart to stay loyal to both parents. I honestly highly doubt his mother was just cool with him staying with his father, either. But you could chalk that up to extrapolation. So how does this relate to his Stand? Well, remember the fight with Pesci? When Bruno had to divide his actual physical heart in half to survive? That was not just a fight, that was a demonstration of his childhood.

This post is so long, I need to go to bed. And find a new job. I hope this made sense to someone.

#panacotta fugo #leone abbacchio #bruno bucciarati #bruno bucellati #jjba #vento aureo #jjba part 5 #rambling #analysis #I need to go outside more

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onemoregayapollokid · 9 months

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Hullo! I had a request! Gilan, who is still not married to Jenny, notices Jenny is incredibly moody. In an attempt to discover what is going on, she snaps at him: apparently she is pregnant, which is his fault, she has doom scenario's in her head about how she will be stuck with a kid and will need to get rid of her restaurant, and basically, everything is Gilan's fault. Gilan has a lot of feelings.

Here you go! This one was a lot of fun to write. There are not many fics about Gilan and Jenny and they are one of my favorite couples! Thank you for trusting me with this!

Of Arguments and Heartbeats

Words count: 1.7K

Gilan smiled as Jenny’s restaurant came into view. Normally one of his favorite views, today he carried a document that made it even more special to him. Gilan dismounted Blaze fluidly, settling the bay mare in the lean to that doubled as a stable. He gave her a generous helping of oats, ensured she had water and handed her an apple before he left.

“ Make yourself comfortable, I might be a while.” Gilan explained, smoothing a hand down the white blaze that spanned the length of her nose.

“ Don’t worry about me,” She seemed to say. “ I’m perfectly content here.” Gilan turned to the door, ducking through the low entrance. He knew it was dinnertime so it would be busy. He shifted deeper into the cover his cloak offered him, sliding into the restaurant unnoticed. Gilan claimed the table he always does, in the corner, giving him the wall to his back and the ability to see the rest of the restaurant. It also gave him a good view into the kitchen, where servers and cooks bustled, nearly tripping over each other. And there, in the middle of the bedlam,was Jenny. Blonde hair tied up into a tight bun, she was a whirlwind, moving all over the kitchen. Gilan knew there wasn’t a dish that came out of the kitchen that Jenny’s hands hadn’t touched in some way. He settled back against his seat, knowing just from the amount of people packed into the restaurant that it would be a while before Jenny made it out of the kitchen. But Gilan was willing to wait. Jenny’s food always drew a crowd.

“ Ranger Gilan!” Jenny’s newest server hurried to Gilan’s table. “ Welcome back sir. Can I get you anything to drink? “ Gilan nodded.

“ I’ll have a coffee while I wait” The server nodded, glancing back into the chaos of the kitchen. Gilan followed his eye, commentong dryly, “ Busy night then?” The server smiled, agreeing.

“ Aye, sir. We’ve been run off our feet, and what with Mistress Jenny feeling the way she is, it’s harder on all of us. “ Gilan’s brow furrowed.

“ She's not feeling well? Gilan questioned. The server hesitated for just a second.

“ Physically she says she’s fine. She’s just been… irritable the last few weeks.Snapping at people for things she normally lets slide. “ Now Gilan’s eyebrows shot up. Jenny was known for many things, one of those was her warm disposition. He’d known her for years and had never known her to be irritable, not even on all the late nights and early mornings. And she never took out her frustrations on other people. Jenny hadn’t mentioned feeling poorly in her letters to Gilan, and he received one just last week.

“ How long has she been like that?” He questioned. The server pursed his lips, thinking for a minute.

“ Oh, at least two or three weeks? Maybe as long as a month.” Gilan nodded, not letting his confusion show.

“ I’d best let you get back to your job or it’ll be me Jenny thwacks with that ladle of hers“ Gilan said with a smile.

“ Aye Ranger. I’ll let Mistress Jenny know you're here, but I warrant it’ll be a while before she can make it out here.” Gilan nodded.

“ I expected as much. Tell her I’m in no rush, and to take her time.” The server nodded, heading to the next table. Gilan frowned. His eyes fell again on Jenny in the kitchen, and he watched her intently. He knew her letters made no mention of her feeling poorly, or being irritable. Yet the server said it had been going on for weeks. “Why hadn’t Jenny told me?” Gilan mused. Now he saw it, a pinched look on her face, marring the happy expression she normally wore. He could hear it too, on the occasions when the din in the room quieted, a sharp voice cutting through to Gilan’s ears. The server brought his coffee out, and Gilan drank that, lost in his own thoughts about the blonde women holding office in the kitchen. He watched people stream in and out of Jenny’s restaurant, and he smiled a thank you when a server brought him his supper. As the night drew to a close, Gilan remained in his seat, half hidden in the shadows. Gilan watches as Jenny’s crew all bid goodnight to their chef, leaving and pulling the door shut. Jenny sighed as the last person left, rubbing her hands over her face wearily. Gilan stood and moved to the kitchen. Leaning against the doorframe he crossed his arms, eyes scanning the body he knew so well. Jenny glanced up, feeling Gilan’s eyes on her. She tried to smile at him, but her face crumpled and she started to cry. Pushing off the wall, Gilan gathered her to his chest.

“ Hush my darling.” He soothed, rubbing her back softly. “ Tell me what’s wrong, please.” She shook her head, hands fisting in Gilan’s tunic.

“ Jenny, please. I want to help you, but I need you to tell me what’s wrong. I can’t help you with no information” Jenny shook her head again.

“ Darlin- “Gilan started but was cut off by Jenny’s whispered voice.

“I can’t, Gil. I don’t even know how to talk about it because right now, I can pretend it’s not real. But talking about it, that makes it real, and I have to face it then. But right now,

I can pretend everything is normal. “

“ Jenny” Gilan stressed, pushing her away from him so he could see into her eyes, red rimmed and shiny with tears. He cupped her cheeks tenderly, thumbs running over her cheekbones. “ Please love. Talk to me. Please. “ Jenny leaned into him, relishing the comfort he freely offered.

“ I don’t know how to,” She murmured finally. “Everything has been so good lately- the restaurant is flourishing, You’ve been here more often, I’ve been so happy. That seems to be the way the world works, doesn’t it. You spend so long fighting for happiness, and then when you finally have some semblance of it, something happens to disrupt it.” Gilan’s eyes searched her face, looking for an answer she couldn’t give him.

“ Jen. “ Gilan’s voice was low, eyes intent on Jenny’s face. His hands trailed down to hold her hands.

“ Jenny, talk to me. I’ve found problems never seem as terrifying and daunting when they’re shared.” Jenny scanned Gilan’s face, blue eyes troubled. She sighed, shoulders drooping.

“ I have to give up the restaurant.” Gilan reeled back in shock. Of all the things he thought Jenny was going to tell him, giving up on her dream, was not on the list.

“ What? You’ve put so much effort in this, darling. Why would you give it up? Is it not bringing you joy?” Jenny shook her head sadly.

“ No, I love every minute of it.” She answered truthfully. Gilan shook his head, confused.

“Then why in the world would you give it up? “ He questioned. Jenny bit her lip, hands shaking slightly. Gilan smoothed his thumb over Jenny’s hand, hoping to reassure her. Jenny took a steadying breath, eyes falling from Gilan’s face. One more breath, shaky with nerves, and Jenny quietly said, “ I’m pregnant, Gilan.” Gilan froze, feeling his world shift. What he thought he knew, what he thought was important all changed in that moment.

“ I don’t understand,” He began. Jenny cut him off.

“ For Gorlogs sake, Gilan. Stop being so dense. You know how this happened. “

“ No, no. I understand that. I just don’t understand why this means you have to give up the restaurant. You’ve put so much effort into it,” Jenny pulled her hands out of Gilan’s, frowning at him.

“ I can’t both raise a child and run a restaurant, Gilan. “She spoke slowly, like this should be obvious to him. “ With no support, there’s no other option.”

“ Hold on.” Gilan’s brow furrowed as he finally understood what Jenny was saying.

“ Jen, doll, Do you really think you’d do it alone? Did you think for a minute that I’d leave you to face this alone? I’ve been begging you to marry me every single time I see you for years, Jen. Did you really think this would break us? The only reason I’m not on my knees begging you to marry me is I know you’ll turn me down. Besides, we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other; that’s the whole reason I came tonight. To tell you that with Halt’s retirement, and Will’s marrying Alyss and the two of them remaining at Seacliff fief, Redmont is without a Ranger. Jenny, Crowley assigned me to Redmont fief. I’ll be here every day. I’ll be here to support you, love. I’ll bug you until you inevitably agree to marry me, because I’ll be here. I’ll be here for you, and I’ll be here for our baby. Darling, you're carrying my baby. I couldn’t be happier if I tried to be.” Jenny’s face was soft, and she let Gilan pull her back into his arms. Gilan pressed a kiss to the side of Jenny’s head, relishing in the feeling of her in his arms. Jenny’s arms slipped around Gilan’s waist, pulling him flush against her body. Gilan buried his face in Jenny’s hair.

“ I’m sorry I overreacted” She murmured, voice muffled by Gilan’s chest. Gilan chuckled, drawing Jenny closer to him.

“ Never my love.” He whispered, drawing her face up to kiss her. Jenny smiled at him then, brushing her lips against his shoulder tenderly.

“ So then Jen” He started, glancing at her. The corner of his mouth quipped up in a smile he couldn’t hide.

“ Want to marry me? “ She pulled back, laughing as she hit him lightly.

“ Answers still no, Gil” She shook her head. Gilan grinned at her.

“Doesn’t matter all that much. I got my best girl and she’s having my baby.” His hand rested softly on her abdomen

“ Couldn’t get any more perfect than that. “ “ You're a sap, Gilan”

“Probably” Gilan admitted, pride colouring his words. Jenny laughed, taking Gilan’s hand, leading him toward the door.

“ It’s late, and I have to open again tomorrow. I need at least a little sleep. “

“ Alright Mama. Let's get you to bed.” Gilan said earnestly, shutting the door behind him. He didn’t know what the future held, but he knew how lucky he was to share it with the women on his arm and the baby she carried.

#rangers apprentice #gilan davidson #not beta read #rangers apprentice one shot #jenny dalby

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yasashihanyou · 2 years

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@strifeblade ( from here ):

Cloud's not used to physical contact - and he hasn't been hugged in quite some time. it was strange at first. he recalled that he used to hug his mother constantly. he recalled that he used to enjoy being hugged and hugging those close to him. but at some point , all of that changed. everything changed when he began to grow moody and irritable - picking fights instead of hugging.

but with Sora , he feels at ease in the contact. he finds it's familiar - almost as if he knew Sora. or maybe , it was more accurate to say it was familiar. the buddy buddy way Sora always acted , it was nostalgic in a way Cloud couldn't quite comprehend. he reminded him of someone , of someone who's name escaped him , but the spirit was there. the spirit always seemed to linger in the open and honest way Sora approached him. the toothy grin and bright eyes - they were all familiar - as if Sora were simply a long lost friend.

Cloud awkwardly puts his arms around Sora. he's not really sure what to do so he stands there with his arms around Sora while Sora was very obviously bear hugging him in this full speed on hug. he's happy to see him. though Cloud himself wasn't sure how to respond , there happiness hidden within a glimmer within mako - blue eyes.

❝ you're kinda weird in a good way. ❞ there is no doubting the inflection of which Cloud spoke contained a relaxed tone. he's at ease around Sora despite the awkward stance. ❝ you look as happy as a kid in a candy store. what's got you so excited ? you really that excited to go shopping with me today ? ❞

as a kid who was used to fighting and being bullied , it never occurred to Cloud that people genuinely might like him. that he wasn't going to be a misfit forever. that he had a place in the world. he was used to being alone and thinking that he was different and smarter than the other kids. that thought didn't earn him any favors in SOLDIER when he tried to make friends. it wasn't until recently that he learned he wasn't going to be alone forever and that people cared.

Sora was clearly one of those people who cared. the way he so easily showed up with bright smiles for everyone - even Barret and the others seemed to like him. he fit like a puzzle piece into Cloud's fragmented life. it almost felt as if they'd been childhood friends forever. or maybe that was normal and Cloud simply hadn't experienced a friendship like this ? he was never quite sure as nothing was ever normal. but he found himself eventually pulling back so he could put an arm around Sora's shoulders like he'd seen so many other guys do . . .

only it felt weird to do it. so he quickly cleared his throat. ❝ Tifa wants us to do some shopping for her too. ❞

but his pointed gaze is softened when he looks at Sora. ❝ think it'll go by a lot faster if we both work together. ❞

Sora could feel it, slowly but surely, Cloud was getting used to being hugged by him. He tried not to push too many hugs onto Cloud if he could help it, but sometimes Sora just got so happy to see Cloud that he lost track of himself. Each time Cloud took it with grace and a surprising amount of softness given how Cloud usually reacted to others touching him. Each time, Sora felt a little bad for suddenly making Cloud uncomfortable, but Cloud would always smile at him and that’d help reassure Sora that it was okay.

He felt kinda special that Cloud would let him get away with hugs. Hehe~.

“Of course I am Cloud!” Sora’s answer was immediate; affirmative yet soft and yet so loud in it’s response - Sora had no indoor voice when it came to being around Cloud, clearly, “m’happy each and every single time I get to spend time with you! No matter how long or short that is,” sneakily, Sora wished he could just, spend an entire day with Cloud. N’a few times, Sora came veeerry close to asking but then nerves bubbled up and he didn’t even bother. It just felt, selfish and kiinda rude, other people clearly needed Cloud too. Waaay more’n Sora did, because Cloud sure was popular around the Slums (whether Cloud admitted to that or not)!!

He felt Cloud pull away from the hug & as always Sora felt saddened at the loss of contact. If he could he’d hug Cloud for hours, because something deep in Sora’s gut just told him that Cloud really could use more hugs. Then, though! Then Cloud did something he hadn’t done before -- he draped an arm around Sora’s shoulders; Sora’s eyes widened softly, subtly, a little blush rising to his expression before he schooled that and just, smiled.

This was nice.

“Heh, even if y’didn’t say that, I’d just tag along anyway! No way you’re getting rid of me that easily,” it was teasing, and Sora met Cloud’s gaze with that same toothy grin, those same softened, gentle eyes. Like he was looking over at Cloud with all the affection in the world; like he wanted to be able to peer into Cloud’s soul, no matter how dark or confusing or intense it might get, and tell him it’d all be okay. Sora moved to wrap an arm around Cloud’s mid-back, a hand resting gingerly on Cloud’s right side,

“Okaaaay! Let’s go! We’re gonna shop til we drop!”

#strifeblade #「sora.」“everyones hope for happiness; blue sky.”#「cloud.」 “i will always remember you; my promise.”

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someoneinjersey · 3 months

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We had a roommate/best friend incident the other night but we worked it out. I cried a lot. I've been moody and hormonal and over-sensitive and in pain and exhausted, and she's been exhausted and in pain (working 24 days with no days off as of tomorrow). So she made a joke and I started crying because it was like the third recent thing she'd said that hurt my feelings, and then she couldn't believe I was crying so she went outside for a while and I cried and did my nightly chores and then we talked and both cried and everything's okay. We are still each other's #1.

Timo/Creamsicle gets neutered on Monday and we're still broke so that is ... something. But he'll stop spraying and we can get the house to stop smelling like piss so that will be good. He needs a good home. We can't keep him; he's too uncomfortable here.

Tomorrow is the town's first Pride festival and it's supposed to rain. I want to try to go because I want to check out some of the vendors for mental health resources and animal fostering/adoption advice. I have a rainbow umbrella so like. I can just bring that. But it really depends on how much I sleep and if I feel sick. My body sucks. No adrenal tumors but something is still fucking me up big time.

I made a huge batch of soup last night and today I finally roasted the vegetables I wanted to roast. But I didn't feel like making a full dinner so we had leftover taco stuff. I ate mine in burrito form. Messily.

I'm into making concert/friendship bracelets now. Part of me thinks I should try to sell them. I dunno. I have a few I need to mail out.

I've kept the kitchen clean for like three weeks by now and that is a huge feat. I make sure I do a nightly routine to clean it up so it stays clean and it's less I have to do the next day. It's helping my mental health I think. Now if only my physical health wasn't garbage.

Does anyone still play Animal Crossing New Horizons? I love it but I have no AC/Nintendo friends. I also have no Xbox friends but like. Idk. I don't like to play multiplayer stuff but I do like the perks you get from having friends in your games. But I need to play less and make things more. Get back to making my planner. Collage journaling. Reading and journaling. Making these silly bracelets like I'm some kind of non-Swifty Swifty. Bah.

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prince876 · 2 years

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6 Early Warning Signs Of Emotional Well-being Deterioration

When we hear “Emotional Wellbeing”, we think of pleasant associations such as excitement, happiness, love, and acceptance. However, how we handle the unpleasant feelings we experience is an important indicator of our emotional well-being.

According to Psychology Today, the definition of emotional well-being is “the ability to practice stress-management techniques, be resilient, and generate the emotions that lead to good feelings.”

No one knows us better than us, making us the first person to know whether our emotional well-being is deteriorating or not. But some of us are unable to recognize the early signs of emotional well-being deterioration and that might lead to a mental breakdown.

One such individual was Siddharth who continued to ignore the early signs of emotional well-being deterioration. He then ended up spending a night in the hospital because of it. Siddharth had self-doubt issues but it didn’t affect his life much so he didn’t bother about them. But after losing his job, thoughts of self-doubt started increasing. He started to feel that he was not good enough and was never going to achieve anything in life.

Siddharth felt helpless and hopeless about his future endeavours. He tried applying to other places but the fear of rejection made him not want to try. He isolated himself in his room and one night when he was unable to take the burden, he started getting thoughts of ending his life. Luckily his roommate found him and admitted him to the hospital.

The story of Siddharth is the story of many of us too. It may not be that extreme, but we all have faced self-doubt and emotional turmoil brewing up inside our minds. This has an impact on our physical health as well.

We can avoid all that by seeking early treatment, but for that, we need to know what the early signs of emotional well-being deterioration are. Here is a list of the early signs:

Increased feelings of agitation and irritation

Feeling distant from your loved ones

Feelings of Hopelessness

Feeling helpless all the time

Feeling worthless

Lack of personal care

Increased feelings of agitation and irritation

One of the first early signs of emotional well-being deterioration is a significant increase in feelings of agitation and irritation. You might notice yourself getting upset at things and people more frequently than before. You feel frustrated with your life and might have problems controlling your temper or unable to calm down. Watch out if you feel uncharacteristically angry, anxious, agitated, or moody.

Feeling distant from your loved ones

An early sign of emotional well-being is that you begin to distance yourself from your loved ones by avoiding meeting them, going out for parties, or other social gatherings. Slowly you start spending more time alone in your room than with your loved ones. You withdraw or isolate yourself from other people. You may stop taking part in activities you used to enjoy before. Do not confuse it with being introverted. It is seen as a change in your typical sociability.

Feelings of Hopelessness

Another early sign is feeling hopeless about your future. You notice your general optimism starting to decrease and now can't find anything to be hopeful about. You start to see the negatives in every situation and suffer from feelings of worthlessness or guilt.

Feeling helpless all the time

You might feel stuck in your life problems with no way out or no one out there who would understand and help you. You feel all alone in this world with no one to support you. You feel helpless and lost, having no idea how to stop the emotional well-being from deteriorating and for things to go back to being good.

Feeling worthless

Your emotional well being might be deteriorating if you have a prolonged feeling of worthlessness. You have no self-confidence and your self-esteem takes a hit. You see yourself as flawed and full of shortcomings, there is no confidence in your abilities and you doubt your every move. According to you, nothing you do is right. People in this situation may say that the world would be better off without them, suggesting suicidal thinking.

Lack of personal care

Not all are emotional, they can be physical signs also. Your emotional well being might be deteriorating when you start to let go of taking care of your physical self. This involves skipping your meals, not taking baths regularly, and ignoring proper hygiene. The surroundings also start to clutter up with piles of dishes in the sink, clothes in the laundry basket, and an empty fridge. You might find these basic but necessary tasks to be overwhelming or just forget to pay importance to them.

It is necessary to recognize these early signs of emotional well-being deterioration to nub it in the bud and get help before things get worse. You may want to get a self-assessment done to find out more about your mental wellbeing or use the self-help content available. Also, it is always better to seek the help of mental health professionals than wait for the problem to worsen.

#mentalhealth

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nicegpvtltd · 2 years

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Online Clothing - Advantages of Shopping Online

Buying clothes at the mall almost always provides a good shopping experience. That is, unless the shirt you're looking for is out of stock, or the mass quantity of people makes you feel nervous and uncomfortable, or even if the sales clerk is being especially moody today. If you've had some experiences similar to these, then maybe you should give online stores a shot. printed T-shirts for men

It's easier than ever to buy the exact clothes you want on the internet, these days. Whether you go straight to your favorite brand's website, or you go through "middle-man" websites like niceg.com, you're sure to find all the styles, colors, and fits that you've come to know and love from shopping in physical stores. Buying clothing online has so many benefits that it's hard to count them all, but here's just a few:

Save Time or Take Your Time

Buying online allows you to quickly browse to the exact pair of shoes you've been looking for very quickly, or casually take your time and look at each individual item that catches your attention. No more worrying about when the store closes, no more traveling from store to store in search of the right outfits, and most certainly no more huge crowds to wade through. When you have a few minutes of spare time, go ahead and browse around various websites for clothes and window shop to your heart's desire. buy T-shirts online

Money Management

Chances are that if you're an avid shopper, you have a credit card. When you're out on a shopping day at the mall, it can be difficult to continuously monitor your spending. If you're on a budget, or you'd like to start budgeting yourself, shopping for clothing online can help. Any credit card holder can check their spending habits and totals on a purchase-by-purchase basis through their card-carrier's website. (You could also opt to keep a notepad next to your computer and simply keep track of your checkout totals each time you make a purchase.)

Deals & Discounts

More often than not, online clothing stores will give you the opportunity to sign up for a newsletter via email. If you choose to, you may enter in your email information, and you'll periodically receive emails from the website that you signed up to hear from. These newsletters are almost exclusively emails that give details on new products, upcoming specials and deals, and any discount sales that are going to happen in the near future. This allows you to stay updated with your favorite clothing brands, and ensures that you'll always be getting the best deal on whatever you choose to buy!

View More: Tshirts men

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anonymousfiction211 · 3 years

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Hancuffed together Chapter 3: ‘Free’

Summary: Loki and you were hancuffed together, because the team was sick of the two fo you not getting along. Today they come finally back from a mission, setting you ‘free’ from Loki. Word count: 2.579 words

Warnings: Smut, dubious consent, knifeplay, praise A/N: I wrote another chapter, hope you like it. If you have any ideas, suggestions or comments, please let me know :)!

Click here for chatper 1 Click here for chapter 2

To say you were physically tired would be an understatement. Loki had you in a tight grip, still asleep. He had woken you two times that night to ‘play with you’ as he liked to put it. He was breaking you down. Each time you put up less of a fight and he was starting to push your boundaries. The truth is, you kind of loved what he was doing to your body. It was intense, even painful sometimes, but the pleasure was well worth it. His personality sadly hadn’t changed. He was still as arrogant, egotistic, moody, and snarky as he had always been.

You shook Loki awake, who just grumbled grumpily at you. ‘I’m hungry’ you said. He turned around to lay on his back, eyes still closed. ‘Sounds like a you-problem’ he replied. You sat up straight and tugged a few times at the cuffs. Loki sighed but got up with you. The two of you were eating breakfast in silence. Even tough you were fixing your eyes on your eggs, you felt Loki’s gaze boring into you. You were startled when the rest of the team loudly made their entrance. ‘Tony, you owe me 10 bucks’ Steve said. ‘Ho, ho, there is still time’ Tony replied. ‘So, how has the lovely couple been doing for the past two days?’ he mused. You both glared at Tony who put his hands up in defence ‘Let me rephrase, how are the two of you doing?’ he quickly said.

‘Fine’ you said irritated at Tony and Loki just nodded. ‘How was the mission?’ Loki asked. Natasha quickly explained that they were staking out and tracking some people of Hydra, but hadn’t had much luck. You were waiting impatiently until she was done. ‘So, can we take these off now?’ you asked holding up the cuffs. ‘Sure’ Steve said, motioning for Tony to take them off. ‘How do we know it worked?’ Thor asked them. Everyone looked at the two of you. ‘We’ve come to an understanding’ Loki replied for the both of you. A big smile appeared on Thor’s face ‘I say we keep them together for this day. To be sure they truly improved their behaviour’. If you could murder people by glaring at them, you had just murdered Thor. Before you could protest Loki had already agreed. If you disagreed know, they surely wouldn’t believe the two of you. ‘Can we just take them off for half an hour? So, I can take a shower?’ you asked. After the group had a quick discussion they agreed. But only if you and Loki would willingly put the cuffs back on after half an hour. If not, the two of you were on house arrest together for the rest of the month.

After you were free, even if it was for a short amount of time, you quickly walked to your room and locked the door. You got rid of your clothes and jumped into the shower. It felt good to have some alone time. After a while there was a knock on the door ‘You have 10 minutes left’ Tony said. ‘Just one more day, you can do this’ you whispered to yourself. You got out of the shower and dried yourself off. You walked back to the bedroom to get some clothes out of your closet. That’s when you saw a dark green bustier on the bed with a matching thong. There was a note next to it which elegantly spelled your name. You opened the note: See you in 10 minutes, kitten – L. There was no way you were wearing that. He could be such an asshole sometimes. You were wondering how he even got in here. You checked the door, but it was still locked. It donned on you that the both of you had your powers back. And this must be Loki’s passive aggressive way of telling you that he could go and come as he pleases.

You were absolutely furious at Loki. But two could play it this game. You got dressed and instead of the green lingerie you chose your red bra and thong. If things did get out of hand, and you had a feeling they will, he will be pissed at you for wearing his brother’s colours. After you got dressed you walked back to the living room, where Tony was already waiting with the cuffs. He had an amused smile on his face. Loki entered shortly after you, having a blank expression on his face. Tony cuffed the two of you back together and the rest of the team went about there day. You had to be honest, cuffed together with Loki was awkward at first, but now that the team was here it was a whole lot more uncomfortable.

The two of you settled down on the couch. You both were reading a book, but this time you both had different books and you were wearing more clothes than the last time Loki ‘wanted to read’. After a while Steve wanted to play a boardgame. At first you didn’t want to play, but Loki convinced you that it would be good to show the rest of the team you indeed got along. Thor and Clint joined you and you had to admit you had fun. Loki was friendly, relaxed and funny. You wondered why he wasn’t like that all the time or why you were the only person he didn’t treat like that. After dinner the whole team decided to watch a movie. You really wanted to go to bed, but would only do that once you were free.

You felt someone shaking your shoulder. You woke up and realized that you had fallen asleep during the movie. You blamed Loki for keeping you up all night. The most embarrassing thing is that you fell asleep on his shoulder. The rest of the team, except Tony, were already gone. Tony handed Loki the key and walked out of the living room. Loki grinned at you ‘Don’t for a second that when we’re not cuffed together that you’re free off me’. You sighed ‘Can’t we just leave these days for what they were?’ Loki seemed to ponder over the question, and while you were waiting for him to respond you realized, you didn’t know what response you wanted. You were holding your breath, waiting for him to answer you, which he took a long time doing. He uncuffed the two of you. You rubbed your wrist, it felt good to be free. Loki shot you a wicked grin ‘No, you are mine’

Your breath hitched and you got up, making your way back to your bedroom. To your surprise Loki wasn’t following you. You closed the door behind you, but knew he would be able to enter when he wanted to. You were startled when you heard a low voice right next to your ear ‘Going somewhere, kitten?’. You weren’t proud of it but shrieked a little. You were spun around and now facing Loki, who was towering over you with his dominant figure. ‘Or did you just forget what you agreed to yesterday?’ he purred. His eyes were sparkling full of mischief. ‘I- I said those things because you made me, I didn’t mean that’ you began to argue. ‘I think you did, you’re just too ashamed to admit it’ Loki said while smiling wickedly. You opened your mouth to tell him to get lost, but he grabbed you and slid his tongue inside of your mouth. You were getting lost in the kiss, the fight almost left you.

Then you realized you had your powers. You pushed him off you and immediately raised a shield around yourself. You thought Loki would be angry, but he seemed to be amused. A green fire bolt appeared in his hand and that’s when you realized, he also had his powers back. He shot the green bolt at you, making your shield crumble. ‘This isn’t fair’ you half yelled at him. He smile only widened, he knew it wasn’t. Your magical nature was healing, while his was that of a warrior. He was trained to fight, you were trained to help and aid. He grabbed you by your waist. You tried to form a magic bolt of your own, but when Loki bit down your neck, you lost your concentration and the bolt disappeared from your hands. He threw you down the bed. You tried to scramble away from him, but an invisible force tied your hands to the headboard. You were struggling against the invisible bonds, but they only tightened around you. ‘Stop struggling, kitten. You know you want this’ Loki sighed. ‘I don’t. Stop!’ you said to him. One of his eyebrows shot up ‘Really? You didn’t put up much of a fight’ he said. ‘I literally put a shield around me’ you argued. He just smirked at you ‘One of your weakest types of shields and you haven’t tried to paralyze me or anything. So, like I said you didn’t really fight me. We both know you want this’

With a wave of his hand Loki made all your regular clothes disappear, leaving you in nothing but your lingerie. Your red lingerie. You hadn’t seen anyone going from amused to furious so fast. The bonds on your hands tightened. Loki wasn’t saying anything to you, but his face made you absolutely terrified. You wanted to make him angry, but now that he was you felt like you made a dangerous mistake. In an instant Loki conjured up a knife and held it to your throat. ‘Looks like someone has been a very bad girl’ he growled in your ear. You started to panic, not daring to move an inch. ‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry’ you whispered while fighting back tears. Loki was sliding the knife against the length of your throat. ‘If you’re so sorry, why do it in the first place?’ he asked you. You really wished Loki wasn’t the God of Lies right now. But since he was, you decided to just be honest. ‘I wanted to make you mad’ you said meekly. Loki laughed darkly ‘Well, you have succeeded’

‘I’m s- sorry’ you began to sob. ‘Since you’re new at this and you seem to understand the gravity of your mistake, I will let you off easy’ he purred. His hand grabbed your hair and he pulled hard, making you bare your throat to him. ‘But let me be clear, don’t let it happen again’ he said. ‘Yes’ you replied. He let go of your hair and you relaxed a bit. You felt the tip of the dagger against your throat, which made you tense up again. ‘Now, stay very still or this is going to be a very painful experience’ he commanded you. His blade travelled downwards over your chest, between your breasts. It slid effortlessly through your bra and your breast sprung free. You tried to keep your breathing even, but were startled at how sharp the knife actually was. Loki smirked when he saw your breasts and started to slide the knife around to play with them. Still extremely scared you couldn’t help that tears were running over your cheeks. When Loki looked up at you his expression changed, and you would almost say he was looking concerned.

With his other hand he strokes the tears from your face. ‘Sssh, there’s no need for that darling. You’re doing great so far. Just relax and trust me’ he told you with a soothing voice. Like it was the easiest thing to do right now. You did notice that the pressure of the knife slightly decreased. Loki was sliding the knife up and down your stomach, right above your panties. You took a deep breath and relaxed as much as you could. ‘That’s it, just submit to me’ he purred. Loki slowly cut through the sides of your panties. The sight was somehow quite erotic. The fabric fell from you and Loki withdrew the knife. ‘You did really well, kitten’ he praised you. Loki spread your legs further and placed himself in between them. The invisible bonds faltered, and you laid your hands on his chest. He gave you a smile, which you thought looked quite genuine.

He bent down to kiss you. It started out slow, but he got hungrier and started to kiss you faster. You enjoyed the way his lips felt on yours and how he tasted. You felt his hardened cock nudge at your entrance. You involuntarily bucked your hips, trying to get him inside of you. Loki chuckled darkly against your lips ‘I knew it’ he said in between his kisses. You felt him slowly pushing inside of you, making you moan very loud. Loki had left your mouth and was kissing you up and down your neck. You felt him smile against your skin when you moaned. He started to thrust in and out of you. He stopped kissing you and sat up straight. He was quick to put one of his legs over his shoulder, giving him a better angle. With every moan you made he thrusted faster inside of you. You heard him starting to mutter things under his breath, but you were too far gone to register what he was saying. His hand sought out your clit and you cried from pleasure when he started to stroke it lightly. ‘Please, Loki please make me cum’ you begged him. A little bit surprised that the words left your mouth before you could think about it. Loki seemed to be very pleased with your reaction and puts more pressure on your clit. He himself started to moan and you knew he was as close as you are. After a few more thrusts you walls clenched around his cock and you came hard. It triggered Loki’s own orgasm and you felt his seed spilled inside of you.

Loki pulled out of you and cleaned the both of you up with a hand gesture. That was an upside of Loki having his magic back you thought. He shimmered himself a pair of pyjama pants and laid down in your bed. You just stared at him ‘You’re staying?’ you asked him. He laid on his back, a hand behind his head, looking up at you. ‘Of course, I am’ he said, like you were stupid to even think otherwise. ‘I do suggest you wear something tonight, or you won’t be getting any sleep’ he purred. Not really sure how to get him out of your bed, you decided to let him sleep in your bed for this one time. You grabbed your own pyjama from underneath your pillow. It existed of a pair of black shorts and a red top. You were staring at the top and back at Loki. He was having an amused look on his face, wondering what you were going to do. After you put on the shorts you still were holding the red top. Loki cocked an eyebrow, giving you a ‘really?’-look. When you saw it you quickly threw the top on the ground and got under the blankets with him. He pulled you close so your head was on his chest. ‘Good girl’ he whispered. You snuggled closer to him when he said that, hearing him chuckle. He started to stroke your back and play with your hair, making you fall asleep fast.

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spanishskulduggery · 3 years

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Do you know of any fossil words in Spanish, words that used to be common but fell out of use and are now only preserved in idioms? I tried looking on Google but all the results were English-only examples

I'll try and think of some others but here are the ones that come to mind; and I’m not sure all of these will be what you’re looking for.

si fuere menester = "in the event of" el menester used to be fairly common especially in the Medieval period, where it was another word for "need" or "necessity". Today you only see menester in si fuere menester which is an unusual construction as it is, since fuere is the future subjunctive - which is an obsolete tense - and so it literally means "should it be necessary". This expression only now shows up in contracts and legal contexts normally as "in the event of"

donde fueres haz lo que vieres = "when in Rome... (do as the Romans do)" Again, this is future subjunctive; literally "wherever you go, do what you see".. but in a more obtuse future subjunctive way "wherever you should happen to go, do whatever you may happen to see"

la urdimbre y trama = "warp and weft" The idea of this is related to "weaving", and though this phrase is rather antiquated or particular, it occasionally shows up as something like la urdimbre y trama de la sociedad or something where that's "the fabric of society". It's not the way you say that so much now [el tejido or la tela are more common], but urdir "to warp" was related to working a loom. You still do use tramar but it's not often that you see it related to weaving anymore... tramar is "to plot" or "to hatch a scheme", but you can see how "weaving" would go into "plotting"

so pena de = "under pain of" You don't often see so used in Spanish today, since it's a more direct link to Latin and Italian. And today la pena rarely means "pain" in the physical sense, it usually means "sorrow" or "anguish"... but again in legal cases, so pena de muerte is "under pain/penalty of death"

a diestra y siniestra = "all over the place" This expression literally means "to the right and left". The word diestro/a is still "right-handed" (also means "skillful" or "dexterous"), but siniestro/a used to mean "left-handed"... the idea that the left hand was more evil and "sinister", and "under-handed". In older contexts, siniestro/a means "left-handed", but in modern contexts you say zurdo/a for "left-handed"

al tuntún = "impromptu", "improvise", "on the fly", "by ear" This expression is derived from Latin, ad vultum tuum which is literally "to your face" in Latin. You never see tuntún anymore unless something is done al tuntún but it might be more regional; it just means you're making it up as you go

dormir como un ceporro = "to sleep like a log" Most people today say dormir como un tronco which is the same idea; el ceporro is a variation but it's extremely unusual to see it. Most people will use tronco if they have to

tuerto/a = one-eyed I'm actually not sure if people use tuerto/a still, since there are other ways to say "blind in one eye" or "one-eyed". In older Spanish, tuerto could show up as a "grievance", but in the expression en el reino de ciegos el tuerto es rey is still used sometimes, literally "in the kingdom of blind people, the one-eyed man is the king"

(el) haba = bean [technically haba is feminine] Not common to see el haba used much anymore except in certain contexts, and it's the root of la habichuela "bean". In Spain, sometimes haba is "idiot" so if you see el tonto del haba it's like "the biggest idiot that ever lived"

Vuestra Merced = "Your Lordship/Ladyship" This is the original form of it, but it eventually turned into usted "you" used for polite things. The title was Vuestra Merced and it was how you addressed someone without knowing their title, so it became very polite. In older Spanish you'd abbreviate it as Vd. which eventually became Ud. as the abbreviation for usted. Keep in mind that at a certain point in time, Spanish wrote the U sound as a V, and it followed more of the Latin pronunciation where the V had a softer U/W sound at times. Outside of Spain and works set in older time periods, you're unlikely to use vuestro/a - it even became informal plural "you all" in Spain - but you rarely ever see merced used. Chances are you're only going to see it was vuestra in front of it. But just know that vos has a very different meaning today than it did in the Middle Ages

meter/sembrar cizaña = "to sow discord" You're never going to see cizaña used in any other context unless you happen upon some botanical book. The literal translation is "darnel" which is sometimes called "false wheat"; basically la cizaña looks like trigo "wheat", and it grows close to wheat but it often has a fungus that's poisonous so you need to separate it. The idea behind it is that if you're deliberately planting cizaña you're actively trying to poison someone or make things worse

la celestina = "a go-between, a mediator" This word comes directly from La Celestina a novel written in Spain's Golden Age by Fernando de Rojas. In it there's a woman named Celestina who sets up meetings between women living in convents (who weren't always nuns) and men; acting as a go-between and chaperone for love affairs basically. The term was also la alcahueta but became celestina after the character in the book. Certain characters in literature are considered celestinas like the Nurse in Romeo and Juliet; basically the girl/woman can't risk her reputation so she has her maid or chaperone working to arrange things, and they're often the catalyst for things going wrong. In other contexts, celestina or una alcahueta is a "pimp" or "madame", or sometimes "a gossip"

pardo/a = brown, brownish-gray Today you’re only really going to see pardo/a used with animals. Specifically, el oso pardo is a “grizzly bear”, and pardo/a can be used with horses as “dun”. I don’t know if “grizzly bear” counts as an expression but anyway. In older Spanish pardo/a was another word for “brown” when it came to people too. Today, if you’re describing hair color as “brown/brunette” you’re using castaño which is literally “chestnut”, either castaño claro “light brown” or castaño oscuro “dark brown”. When it comes to things that are brown, the typical word is now marrón or sometimes you see it as color café which is “coffee-colored”

ser un caco = to be a thief Not commonly used as ladrón, ladrona “thief”, but un caco literally means “a Cacus”. Basically, Cacus was a mythological figure who stole some cattle and Hercules killed him. In some places people use un caco to mean “thief” as a euphemism

la Parca = the Grim Reaper Orginally, las Parcas were the Parcae in Roman (originally Greek) mythology. They were the sisters of fate who would measure someone’s life and eventually cut the thread. Today, it’s just one Parca and it’s typically a male figure, skeletal, with a scythe as the “Grim Reaper”, rather than it being a woman with scissors. That’s because during the Plague, people thought of Death as being a skeletal figure that held a scythe, the symbol for “reaping” wheat that was ripe.

manjar de los dioses = “nectar of the gods” / a delicacy el manjar is used in some places in certain contexts but it originally came from Italian as “food” or something “to eat”. Today, manjar is usually a “snack”, or in some cases it’s dulce de leche, but most of the Spanish-speaking world doesn’t use manjar so much. It is sometimes “delicacy”, but in older contexts it was code for “ambrosia”, the thing that the Greek gods couldn’t get enough of. The world manjar still feels very antiquated to me, but when it’s used it’s some kind of good food or eating a lot of food

valer un potosí = “to be worth a fortune” un potosí is pretty antiquated, but it came from the city Potosí in Bolivia which was famous for its silver mines that the conquistadores exploited. There are still some places that will use potosí as “something of great value”, though it’s not so common anymore unless you’re talking about the actual city.

moros y cristianos = “beans and rice” Usually it’s black beans and white rice, though this is literally “Moors and Christians”. You still use cristiano/a today but typically you only use moro/a in a historical sense

Also there’s the expression más sordo/a que una tapia where it means someone is really hard of hearing; literally “as deaf as a garden wall”, but I’ve never seen people use tapia ...only a muro or a cerca as “wall” or “fence”. The idea of tapiar is related to “mortar” and “masonry”

There are also some expressions related to metal and older words for it. For example, saturnino/a is an older word for “gloomy”, though it now refers to “lead-poisoning”. Saturn was linked to “moodiness” in alchemical society, and the symbol for Saturn was the older symbol for “lead”.

This is similar to how áureo/a is “gold” but also linked to the “sun” because the Sun and gold are linked.

Another is el azogue which is the older word for mercury so it’d be “quicksilver”. You may see azogarse in some texts where it means “to be fidgetty” and it’s related both to mercury-poisoning, and probably to the idea of Mercury/Hermes being the messenger god so always on the move.

There is also hidalgo/a which doesn’t have quite the same meaning it did originally. Today, hidalgo/a is sort of like “having noble blood”. It literally means “son of something/someone”, where originally in Spain hidalgos were the children of nobles - specifically, it tended to refer to the children of nobles who weren’t the firstborn male. Firstborn sons often got about 2/3 of the money and were expected to run the estates. The second or third or fourth children were usually on their own. It became a running joke that the firstborn became the lord, and the others would either join the army or the clergy. In Cervantes’s time, hidalgos could be among the poorest of society, even poorer than slaves in some cases. They were still “noble” in terms of blood though, and hidalgos couldn’t be tortured by the Inquisition because of it. So they were afforded certain rights, but usually tended to be poor or lower than you’d expect a noble to be. Today it just means “of nobility”, but in Cervantes’s time a hidalgo was the symbol of Spain under the Holy Roman Empire - wealthy and noble and glorious in theory, much poorer in reality.

I'd also add the phrases levar ancla "to raise anchor" or "anchors aweigh/away", where levar is rarely used today aside from nautical terms. Similarly, izar la bandera is "to hoist the flag"... not a lot of chances to use izar if it's not related to "flags" or la vela "a sail"

I also would say errar is less common today in Spanish. It's still used, but you normally say cometer un error "to make a mistake". Still, errar es humano, perdonar es divino "to err is human, to forgive divine". Also errar is weirdly irregular at times, it turns into yerro as present tense yo

And I’m also going to include when la manzana means a “city block”. Today manzana is not rare, it means “apple”. But manzana as a “city block” was originally mansana where it meant a “collection of manses/houses arranged in a block on a grid”. So there’s that. If you ever see manzana used for blocks in a city, it’s technically a separate word

Also depending on context el mar “sea” will be la mar with the feminine article. That’s usually more particular, usually meaning “open water” or deeper waters like alta mar “high seas”. The more poetic or open the water is, the more likely it is to be feminine, and so la mar isn’t quite so antiquated but it’s a little special

#Spanish #language #langblr #langauges

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papers4me · 3 years

Text

Fruits Basket Manga Review , ch 111

sigh~~~ I feel that my recent posts are a bit negative towards the anime, but thats cuz the chapters I’ve read so far are either unbelievably important character depth content cut for no valid reason or content in the anime but packed with million other things that it lost its purpose or importance. Basically tohu’s ep 6 which consists of 4 chapters & now ep 5 which is a momiji ep & yup, packed with 4 chapters as well... so, I apologize for any negativity, my intention is just analyzing artistic & story-telling aspects, I love se03, but yeah it screwed up lots of important characters due to its not so thorough plot decisions & harmful character insight choices.

today.. we explore Momiji... but only before his curse breaks.

Furuba anime struggling to know how to design an episode based on various plot-heavy chapters?

so, they decided 13 eps, & decided one ep for momiji cuz motoko’s graduation & the fanclub is the core of the furuba & have already cut tons of tohru, cuz who cares? she’s kind. be like her. end of lesson. No. really, jokes aside, how to do this?

How to combine several chapters in one ep? collect small snippets from chosen chapters/content like a bee does flowers? you gotta skip some content, you gotta highlight others. The ep is only 20 min after all & you got an op & Ed that you cant always skip.... so.. furuba team decide that momoji’s ep should be true to his zodiac animal, this is the rabbits last appearance in spirit. so, they went with quick hopping from one chapter to the other like a rabbit?

No really, ep 5 is really like a rabbit in its flow, you can’t savior a moment enough before jumping to the other: we learned momiji grew up!! loves toheu romantically, challenged kyo, really meant it, wanted a fair love game, got freed, lost tohru romantically & faced momiji! but that’s not all? we still have space!! quick add akito’s moodiness & love triangle with her dog & her submissive bed partner, add a happy comedy for no reason whatever & make shigue kiss tohru & wish shes 'was his lover instead!!!!!!!!! Mind you all this happened in the anime before shigure hurt tohru with his “the truth of the zodiacs talk & them accepting & feeling consolance that kyo is doomed”talk.

-Gets whats my biggest surprise after reading this chapter ?????????

Shigure is consistent!! He isnt a rabbit hopping here & there. The dog is loyal & is tired for good reason! Him being depressed & his weird talk with thoru makes so much sense given the manga’s order.

Kyo is consistent!! In the anime, momiji surprise him with confession he loves tohru & challenge him, then kyo la~la~la~joins them downstairs for curry. Not a single expression on his face, where is the expression? it will appear when the plot is forced to address it: by the end of the ep when momiji face hin again. Then we get kyo’s reaction.

I need someone to tell the anime that actions require a reaction. You can refrain from showing a certain reaction if you can’t address it now, but you can’t erase it, negate it, then make it appear when have to!!!! couldn’t they make kyo refuse to join them & eat together? the other characters wont be surprised they think he’s needlessly moody. The audience will know that kyo is troubled with momiji’s challenged & it will excite them!!! having kyo just go eat & watch the momiji/hiro/haru/yuki comedy skit is weird.

The manga’s author wanted kyo to join the dinner, like the anime did. but huge difference. the author actually cares for logic reaction & understands that the audience aren’t dumb little kids that will sit & wait for kyo’s turn to...react! nope! she did this: (a) & (b) below.

-Lost Small Bits/ Panels from the chapter.. But Sadly Big Huge Chunks for Characters buildup & Growth:

(a) addressed the fact the hiro noticed kyoru is in love & dressed that shigure was right!! the cat being in love is a weird concept to the zodiacs! hiro reacted naturally & the author used hiro to flesh yuki’s (the rat), momiji’s (the rabbit) & haru’s (the cow) decision to silently watch the kyo (the cat) makes his own decisions to live!!! They won’t interfere or tell akito or remind him of his state as the doomed caged cat. So sad this moment is cut from yuki. Why must yuki only interact with kyo to beat him (all seasons)? why must yuki only think of kyo to envy him (all seasons) ? Here, yuki’s growth towards kyo as a person & his relationship with tohru is 1000 times better than all tohru is my mom’s sh!t & I envy kyo’s Sh!t we saw in the anime over & over till we memorized it.

(b) kyo didnt just go la~la~eat with momiji after knowing he loves tohru. Nope, there’s small bits missing: called logical emotional reaction. He was surprised he’s caught pining over tohru! cuz yuki, the audience representative, has told us in the previous chapter that ppl in love dont notice anything around them. Kyo thinks him being cold hid his feelings. the dummy’s feelings are as bright as the sun in the Sahara, tohru too. a child read her! such small thing that wont take much space from the ep but was cut cuz kyo only needs to be responsive at the ep’s end. & this scene of kyo & tohru looking awkwardly at each other is minor in space but so important cuz kyo is determined to let go but his decision is challenged by not only momiji, but his natural attraction to tohru. Here he knows he’s caught & exposed... here he knows momiji is a better choice for tohru cuz he wont didn’t hurt her mom... here he knows that even yuki is better cuz never had to pretend to be cold to her... here he knows the world is better than him... & here he just cant help by smile & walks towards her... T_T ... another lesson in writing slow burns by Takaya-san.

-Why would the anime team pass on this?? drawing kyoru closer after the epic tear in Cinderella ep, cuz they want empty suspense~! The anime team thinks that if kyo & tohru stand next to each other, then it means all their issues are solved & the audience are so stupid as to forget tohru’s mom, kyo’s imprisonment, kyo not confessing his sins to tohru & tohru’s need to make a choice wether to fogive hom or not.. nope! you see, they think, ppl who read mangas are smart, so the author can give this epic symbolism & pp would still be not sure kyoru is end game & tohru will forgive him or kyo even fogive himself, but ppl who watch, oh no, gotta cut all the plot worthy content, produce a graduation song for a minor character, cut all kyo/tohru interaction cuz it only means romance & not at all character depth & oh if we show yuki actually formulating deep thoughts that aren’t centered around him, the audience might forget his se02 struggles! or that might ruin yuki’s upcoming growth moment in the finale where he .. you guessed it hits kyo.. as he always do & sulk & think abt himself cuz yuki can only do monologues when he’s directly involved.... man~it is so sad how the anime is dumped down.. Who is the target audience again? not kids as young as hiro cuz even hiro is smart!

-just look:

Momiji talks abt kyo shouldn't give up loving tohru & the authr shows this this ghost!!! his mom! The author reminds us that kyo isnt da~~~~ forgetting anything. He’s a deeply troubled soul & hos mom wants him locked cuz she too was locked in a cage & thinks that’s safer...why oh why you dump ur own story! sh!t~

Side Notes:

I like the closeups on Kisa’s face as she interacted with kyo. It’s very rare for kisa to have a world beside the endearing parental/big protective bro/big doting sister love she has with tohru & haru & off course the romantic love with hiro which was perhaps since their birth or sth. lol. Kisa & kyo arent much on the brotherly side as they rarely interact, but its one of those refreshing interactions she has that helps cast a new light on her as tiny as it is, but its sth out of the norm around her. She sees him around tohru & gets to perceive his true unprovoked character. “He is nice guy”.

I really wanted to punch kureno this chapter.. like Shigure is a jerk shitty dog for sleeping with akito’s mom but kureno... dude.. you submissively sleep with the guy’s eternal love interest & still walks in on him talking to her!!! lol. you’re mentally, emotionally & physically weaker than him & yet, she puts you on her bed, not him & you, tho not wanting her at all, dont walk away. No wonder shigure is defeated & wishing for someone like tohru, lol! Even if shigure met an older tohru-like person, it wont work. shigure deserve someone like him mean, schemer & loves playing power games. Tohru is someone who values honesty & commutation, not saying she’s an angel on earth, but tohru knows who suits her.. except fate is saying: NO. .... currently. lol.

I know kureno’s weakness is part of his character & I love that such characters exits. There are ppl ike that in real life. It’s just this chapter, I felt shigure’s frustration. XD

Yuki in this ep is the best yuki. no exaggeration here, I love when yuki is calmly thoughtful of others & here its kyo of all ppl !!!! cutting this scene is sad.. without it, kyo & yuki remain a cat & rat in the anime. Only ever thinking abt each other thro envious binoculars or hateful words or yuki giving kyo comedic hitting or life’s problem-solving hitting. Why can’t anime yuki be interactive outside his self-centered issues is beyond me.

Momiji & kyo’s interactions are always the best! whether comedy or drama.

I hated the curry cooking scene in the anime... so weirdly out of the ep’s flow.. very forced comedy... in the manga it had a purpose! not just quick add comedy cuz next shot momiji curse breaks & drama & we’ll close the ep with tears & sadness & glimpses of hope...

I love haru’s answer to hiro... so him.. “a guy can’t fall in love?”so chill.. so..simple.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #manga spoilers #fruits basket manga #manga review #sad paper #mad paper #I'm having shitty personal day dont mind me #sorry for extra anger #if it sounds like I;m screaming or shouting #I'm not i swear #I really love the anime & se03 is the best content among the other seasons #its just have big giant issues in plot & characters....

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moonctzeny · 4 years

Text

Work for it

Part II: Promotion

pairing: coworker! johnny x reader

other members as background characters: haechan as johnny’s assistant

genre: smut

warnings: explicit smut, semi-public sex, spit in mouth, pussy slapping, throatpie (omg I got so embarrassed writing this down)

word count: 5,792

summary: “One of your co-workers, the supervisor of the Sales Department John Suh, is arguably the hottest man you’ve seen in your life. You try to act on your crush but he is just plain oblivious to your efforts, but you won’t stop until your fantasies come true”

-------------------------------------------------------------

Work for you was living hell and no, it wasn’t for the normal reasons. You had a nice job as an intern in the Financial Department of a company, and with your hard work getting recognized, you were looking forward to being offered a permanent position soon.

Today was no different. You had made sure all your files were organized, calls made and deadlines in check. All you had left to do was look over a report in the office of none other but the man who was causing your suffering. Mr. Suh.

Mr. Suh, or Johnny as he insisted on being called, was the supervisor of the Sales Department but he didn’t let it get to his head. He was extremely friendly, willing to help his subordinates and brought a smile to everyone’s face. Working with him would be amazing if there wasn’t one little problem. He was the sexiest man you had ever seen.

Now, now, you weren’t some middle schooler. You came into this company committed to get the position you deserve, not beg for some man’s dick. But when he first welcomed you in the main elevator, tall height, hair pushed back and with a face of godly facial structure, you almost pressed the stop button so he could take you right then and there.

You brought some files along and ascended the stairs that lead you to his office on the top floor. It would be more convenient if Mr. Suh sent the report downstairs with his assistant and your best work buddy, Donghyuck, but you insisted on paying him a visit, saying something about how a little work out never hurt anyone.

When you saw Donghyuck at his desk, he didn’t even look up from his laptop, pointing at the door instead.

“Put your panties back on. He’s on the printing room”

You rolled your eyes at his comment, used to his teasing about your crush on mr. Suh and headed out for said room at the end of the hall. Johnny was hunched over a machine, shaking it from side to side.

You knocked lightly on the already open door to announce your presence, and he turned around, flashing you his killer smile.

“y/n, hello! I was just trying to get you a copy of the report, but the damn printer seems to be broken again.”

You tried to tell him that it’s okay, that you can use the printer from your floor downstairs, but then he bent over trying to locate the cause of the malfunction, giving you a perfect view of his ass in his fitted tracksuit. Rutting the machine around, he thrusted his hips forward, letting out the occasional grunt, and you took a mental picture for later. He must have shaken something a bit too hard, because ink started to spill out of the cartilage.

“Aww, it’s dripping everywhere”

He had the sleeves of his shirt rolled up, and you couldn’t help but stare at how veiny and strong his arms looked as he pushed down. Your mind wandered off, imagining how nice it must feel to have him on top of you, applying this kind of pressure with his pretty hands around your neck as he-

“y/n? Are you ok?”

“Uh-um yes! Sorry Mr. Suh, it’s been a hard day”

It’s been your cute ass that made it hard for me to function around you was what you actually meant. He winked your way, and you were almost sure he did a double take on a skirt you wore that he had complimented before.

See, it’s not like you never thought of making a move on Johnny. You knew he was single, and he even told Donghyuck that he thought you were cute. Romantic relations between coworkers was not a rare thing, but the way everyone around here respected him made you nervous to approach him. No matter how many people fell for his charming personality and his visuals, he was never part of the company’s gossips and you knew the reason. The guy was denser than a brick wall.

You tried testing the waters with him, taking the light flirting a bit further, but he never seemed to catch the point. Maybe he was so used to getting this kind of attention that he dismissed your attempts as just friendly banter.

But you weren’t ready to give up.

“Sometimes I like coming here to relax. This place is usually so nice and quiet. It gives you privacy to do so many things”

What you said must have piqued his interest, since he gave up on the printer and turned his attention to you instead.

“Things, that the company wouldn’t approve of doing in here?”, he said in a lower voice than before and your throat felt dry when you answered him.

“Yeah. It’s just, we wouldn’t get caught in here, you know?”

“Oh, I know exactly what you mean”

He took two steps towards you before lowering down to whisper closer to you.

“I actually know a place that has even more privacy than this room. I usually go there alone, but it will be so much more fun with you”

Droplets of sweat had collected on his temples as a result of his physical activity earlier, making his words sound so much more enticing. He looked around, checking if anyone was standing in the hallway, before whispering again.

“This will be our little secret, ok?”

You swallowed hard and nodded, ready to get your world rocked by John Suh. He reached for something in his back pocket, but instead of a condom, he whipped out something you’d never expect.

A pack of cigarettes.

“I told everyone I’d quit but the stress gets too much sometimes, you know? I didn’t remember you smoke, though”

Oh my god. Oh my god, you were so stupid. All this time you thought you coaxed him into a steamy, clothes-on, ass on the printer quickie and he meant sneaking you out for a guilt-drenched cigarette break??!!

“Right! You didn’t remember that I smoke because.. because I don’t! ...Anymore. I mean, I quit, just like you. And you know what Mr. Suh, we shouldn’t succumb to the needs of the flesh! Fight back to our bad habits and get healthier! Together!”

He was frozen in place, dumbfounded by your sudden anti-smoking monologue.

“Wow y/n I didn’t know you were so serious about this. Very impressed by your spirit though.” He patted you on the back before picking up the report from the printer and getting to the door. “I’ll tell Donghyuck to print this for you and deliver it to your desk. Won’t take too long, alright?”

And just like that, he managed to leave you in the printing room alone, horny, and one report down.

——————————————————

��The next morning at the office was as typical as any other, with the difference that it was raining cats and dogs. The low that was centered over the area caused continuous storms, the rain and moody atmosphere making it impossible for you to keep your eyes open.

You headed over to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, already the second one of the day, when you saw a very familiar someone occupying the coffee machine.

“Mind if you make me a cup too Mr. Suh? I hear you make the best coffee in the office”

He chuckled at you, instantly recognizing your voice.

“It’s my pride. I do love coffee” After turning on the machine he looked at you finally, a serious look on his face. “Listen, y/n, about yesterday, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have tried to drag you down with me like that. You were right about the cigarette thing. I’ll quit for good”

You blinked at him, trying to grasp the ridiculousness of the situation and feeling a bit sorry for guilting him like that.

“It’s ok Mr. Suh don’t worry about it. No big deal”

“Oh and, please, call me Johnny. You make me feel a thousand years old. I’m not that much older than you.”

“Yes Mr.- Johnny”

Just at that moment, a lightning struck, making you jump in place. You glanced at the window, or rather the stormy mess outside, and sighed.

“Chose the wrong day to forget my umbrella huh?”

“You want me to drop you off?”, he offered, immediately making you panic.

“No no! It’s okay. The metro station is really close. It’s fine if I get a little wet anyways, I won’t melt, I’m not made of sugar”

You cringed a bit at your nerve-induced blurting, but it would all be gone in a second.

“You’re sweet like sugar though”

He poured the now brewed coffee on both your cups and you just stared at his movements in shock. Did he just? Initiate the flirting? And called you sweet?

Ok, this is it, you thought.

“Do you like sugar?”, you asked him seductively, making your arms touch. You had to take advantage of this opportunity. The ride home suddenly didn’t sound like such a bad idea.

“Oh no thanks I drink my coffee black”

Looking at the clock on the wall he picked up his cup and took a sip, striding out of the kitchen and leaving you speechless, much like yesterday.

“I’m late for a meeting. See you later, y/n”

You groaned as you watched him walk away, pouring an excessive amount of sugar in your drink.

“That’s not what I meant...”

———————————————————

Meetings usually meant making sure you had enough battery on your phone to silently play your favorite game, while you heard some old guy in a suit blabber on and on about the most boring topic on earth. Usually you’d be complaining about why they just had to take away valuable time of your day to talk about an issue that could very easily be briefed in a mass email, but not today. Because today, the man of honor who got to do all the talking, was Johnny.

To anyone else, you looked like the most eager intern in the company, taking in every single word that came out his mouth. In reality, you were just immensely turned on by his fluent English, his new suit, and his ability to capture everyone’s attention. You had no idea what he was talking about, but you could listen to him talk all day about how “Results are important” and “Taking a more aggressive strategy is vital”.

A sudden noise made everyone turn to the exit door, only to see that it was just the cleaning lady that had dropped her bucket as she was going down the stairs. You felt Donghyuck, who was sitting next to you as always, nudge you with his knee.

“Oh look, she brought a mop for your drool, how nice of her”

“I’m not drooling”, you whispered back with a glare, shoving him with your elbow.

“Right”, he chuckled, “you’re ready to get on your knees for him right now”

It was really hard to get the picture that Donghyuck had painted out for you off your head for the rest of the meeting. You pathetically rubbed your thighs together to get the slightest feeling of relief, and tried to mute out Johnny’s sexy voice with no avail. When the meeting was finally over, you walked out of the meeting room along with everyone else, when you saw Johnny catch up with you.

“Hey y/n”

“Hi Johnny! Nice presentation up there”

He beamed up at your compliment and you wanted to coo at him for looking so cute. His aura changed a color when he replied to you, turning solemn.

“Thank you. Glad to see you’ve finally dropped the formalities with me”. I can drop my panties too if you want, you thought to yourself, but you only smiled at him when he managed to leave you speechless once again. “Is it wet?”

Wet? Fuck, was Donghyuck right? Were you really so caught up on eating Johnny up with your eyes that he noticed? That he realized you were so turned on by him? He saw your confused expression and tried to futilely explain.

“Is it wet? Down there?”

You were losing it. Was he really asking you that in front of all your coworkers? Your face couldn’t possibly get any hotter, feeling as if you were burning up with a high fever. You realized you hadn’t said a word back.

“E-excuse me?”

“Wasn’t the cleaning lady going downstairs earlier to mop? I figured you’d know if the floor was still wet. Since your office is on the bottom floor”

Get your mind out of the gutter, y/n. Quick, say something already! Stop staring at him like a lost puppy!

“Uhh no I don’t know actually. I’m sorry, I have to go”

You turned swiftly on your heel to walk away from him, and save yourself from any further embarrassment.

If Donghyuck was here to witness this, you’d never get to hear the end of his teasing.

———————————————————

You didn’t expect an email like that from the Sales Department. You were at your desk, minding your business when you got the notification, almost choking on the gum you were chewing on.

y/n,

I have something very confidential to show you in my office. I think you’ll be very pleasantly surprised. Bring your sexy ass over here at 16:00 sharp.

Johnny Suh

You must have re-read those 30 words about a thousand times to ensure you weren’t making things up. You freshened up your makeup, thanking the gods of sex that you decided to wear cute underwear this morning. All the things you were daydreaming about since your first meetup at the main elevator, were finally about to happen. Fidgeting around in your seat, you felt yourself getting wetter thinking of all the nasty things Mr. Suh was planning on doing to you in his office.

It was 16:25 when you walked up the stairs, not brave enough to make a man like Johnny wait. All his assistants were gone, probably send off somewhere to avoid having them hear your little unprofessional tête-à-tête.

You walked into his office, the door slightly open. He was sat on his chair, the back turned to you and you started to feel nervous. You didn’t notice he had changed his hair. And wasn’t he wearing a different suit this morning?

“Um Johnny? You asked to see me?”

He tsked at you, turning around.

“16:28? I thought you had more of a backbone than that, y/n. Also thought you’d come in here naked. Disappointing.”

The smug smile, the teasing voice. Donghyuck.

“The email was fake wasn’t it?”

“Luckily for you, yes, I was the one who sent it. I mean, seriously. This ugly brown suit for a dick appointment with Mr. Suh?”

When you graduated university with honors, you didn’t think you’d one day be charged with the murder of a company’s assistant. But right at his moment, as you grabbed the stapler from the desk and walked over to him ominously, you thought it was all worth it.

“Lee Donghyuck, after I’m done with you the only dick appointment you’ll make is with the ER doctor, to get these staples off your balls”

He got up, panicking, and started to back away from you.

“Somebody save me, please, mom!”

You were ready to grab him by his tie and fulfill your threat, when you heard someone clear his throat at the door. And this time it was the real Mr. Suh.

He had his arms crossed, a smile appearing on his face as you shoved your friend away and immediately dropped the stapler from your hold.

“You know, you two are always wasting time over here, messing around. Maybe I should punish you”

Oh god yes, please do.

It was Donghyuck’s deadpan expression that made you realize that you had actually said that out loud. Johnny raised his eyebrows incredulously.

“Oh, so you want the overtime?”

“S-sure why not? Not like I have anything better to do on a Friday night”

Your friend rubbed his palm over his face, cringing at the situation you got yourself in.

“Please, stop talking, I beg of you”, he murmured, when Johnny spoke up again.

“Well in that case, will you leave me and y/n alone to discuss some details?”

Donghyuck nodded, closing the door behind him and it seemed like he took all the oxygen along with him.

Johnny sat on his desk, whipping out some files for you. It might sound stupid, but the email, though fake, had put you in a certain mood, and having him sit so close to you wasn’t helping your situation.

“I will only give you the run down but please ask the supervisor in your department to explain further”

You tried listening to him talk about your overtime, you really did. But the way he was sitting on his armchair with his legs spread out, was practically begging you to do what Donghyuck had suggested yesterday and get on your knees already. You’d tell him to continue his work, challenge him to try and keep typing on his laptop as you’d palm him through his slacks. You’d wait for him to get a bit impatient, licking him over his clothed cock until it felt like it would rip from the fabric. He was definitely big, and you wondered whether you could take him. You’d put him in your hand and start sucking on the tip, then lick your way down to his base. Maybe he would have to take a call, and you would make it a goal to distract him by fitting him all inside your mouth, hitting the back of your throat. His little office slut.

“y/n. Get under the desk. Right now.”

His voice brought you out of your daydream but his words triggered another one. It felt like the world around you was shaking. Did he just ask you to get on your knees under the table? Could he read your thoughts? “y/n can’t you feel the earthquake? Get under the desk”

When you realized what was happening, you wished that the earth would just swallow you whole already, taking away the embarrassment with you.

Donghyuck met you outside. He had evacuated the building along with everyone else, happy that the small earthquake got them an extra five minutes of break.

“Did Mr. Suh pick you up in his strong arms like your knight in shining armor and save you?”

“Don’t talk to me I’m still mad at you”

He turned you around to face him, his lips pouting at you cutely and it was really hard to resist his doe eyes.

“I’m sowwyy I was just trying to help you out!”

“Help me out with what?”, you sighed, tuckered out, “he clearly doesn’t want anything more with me”

“Oh yeah? Is that why he hasn’t stopped checking out your ass ever since you left the building with him?”

You turn your head to Johnny’s direction, just in time to see his eyes shift from you and Hyuck to the floor. Maybe your friend was right. Did Johnny actually like you after all but was really just that oblivious to your crush?

“All I’m saying is”, he continues, “that you need to be clearer with him. He is the supervisor of another department than yours, he obviously won’t act out anything unless you give him the green light”

You nodded at him, a feeling of determination coursing through you. His words reverberated in your head until break time, planning out your seduction. You knew that there was no way you would be able to concentrate at work unless you gave it a shot with Johnny, even if it goes terribly wrong. Tomorrow, you promised yourself.

——————————————————

And tomorrow did come, finding you right outside his office door. Taking long, confident strides, you walk past Donghyuck who for once, was speechless, eyes widening at your appearance.

Johnny’s favorite skirt hug your hips, garters barely peeking under it. Your shirt was a bit tighter than usual, an extra button undone, revealing your cleavage. The room was filled with the clicking sound of your high heels, that were as uncomfortable as they were sexy. It was barely considered work appropriate but you didn’t care. You hoped you’d manage to at least grab his attention, then let your talking do the rest.

Taking a deep breath, you knock at the door, slowly opening it. Johnny was typing away something, looking delicious as always. Your voice was way more sensual than you’d usually let it be in the workplace.

“Johnnyy~, good morning. I’m here for that file I need?”

He had his eyes still glued on the laptop in front of him, his tone as bright as ever.

“y/n! I would send Donghyuck over you didn’t have to- “

He finally looks at you, his eyes quickly moving from your chest to your skirt, only to stay for a bit longer on your legs. He seemed a bit taken aback, his breath hitching in his throat but he shakes his head lightly, regaining his stature.

“-you didn’t have to come all the way up here”

“I know”, you mewl, picking up a pen from his desk and clicking it closed, letting the tip rest on your bottom lip, “I just missed you”

You saw him stare at your mouth before he cleared his throat, coolly sitting back on his chair.

“I think you’ll take this back when you stay for your overtime tonight”, he laughed, too friendly for your liking.

“No, no. I would never get tired of you, Johnny. Besides, I have a great stamina”

“That’s good! Being mentally strong is very important in this business”

Ugh, take a hint already!

“Well, yeah, but physical strength is important too. You know, I’ve followed your footsteps and started working out. I can go on for hours”

His eyebrows lifted up at your statement, “Yeah? And you followed my footsteps?”

“Well, everyone in the office has noticed you’ve been hitting the gym lately, especially me. Maybe, you could show me some of your workout exercises later?”

He stayed silent for a moment, like he was contemplating his answer and you swore you saw the faintest blush on his cheeks. His answer, however, would disappoint you.

“I was thinking of organizing an online group aerobics class, actually. I think Yuta from my department might be interested in hosting it”

The feeling of defeat was written all over your face. You were done. Smiling politely, you told him it sounded like a nice idea and asked for the file. You felt so angry at yourself for listening to Hyuck’s advice, every painful jab your heels gave your feet seeming deserving.

Donghyuck saw you leaving the room and would follow you to comfort you but he fully understood your frustration. Since you left the door open, he had witnessed everything, and boy was he furious.

He barged into Johnny’s office unannounced, scowling at him. Boss or not, he had to give him a piece of his mind.

“Are you seriously that blind?”

Johnny blinked at him, surprised at his unexpected appearance.

“Excuse me?”

“Are you seriously telling me you didn’t get that y/n was flirting with you?”

“R-right now?”

Donghyuck licked his cheek with his tongue, getting gradually more and more frustrated. “Yes! Right now! The hottest woman in the office was basically throwing herself all over you and you didn’t even ask her out?”

Johnny was shocked, fumbling for an answer, “I thought- I thought she was just being nice”

“Nice??”, the younger man screeched then took a deep breath to calm down, placing both his hands on his boss’s desk.

“With all due respect dude, but either you fuck her, or I will”

———————————————————

Nothing could make the horrible feeling you felt from your embarrassing incident earlier worse right? Wrong. Because it was Friday and you still had to go through with that overtime you had stupidly agreed with.

All your coworkers from your floor were gone, no one crazy enough to willingly work on a Friday night. You saw them all leave one by one, internally cursing them for their luck. The office was especially hot tonight and you were suddenly glad for choosing that skimpy outfit to wear today, even if it didn’t fulfill its original purpose.

In your deep concentration over the files scattered on your desk, you almost didn’t notice the shadow next to your office’s door. You could recognize these broad shoulders from miles away.

“Johnny, you didn’t go home yet?”

“I’ll leave soon, just wanted to give you some tips your supervisor noted for the work you’ll do tonight”

He smiled warmly at you, but his eyes held something you hadn’t seen before. Slyness, mischief maybe? You didn’t have much time to think about it anyways, because in a moment he was standing over you, next to your desk.

“You see, the loss of this week’s sales…”, he started, lifting the sleeves of his shirt up and revealing his veiny arms that you so adored, “...it’s much bigger than you think”

You gulped, your throat suddenly dry. His voice was deep, seductive, eyes staring right into yours.

“Y-Yeah?”

“Yes. Doing all this paperwork, it’s very… hard. And it’s so hot in here, right?”

He kept his gaze on you, loosening the tie he wore around his neck. Was this your mind playing games with you again? You weren’t sure but he looked so good you couldn’t help your body from responding to him.

You got up from your seat, resting the side of your ass on the desk to be closer to his height. “If I got it right, you suggest that maybe you need to stay around for a bit? Help me out?”

He nodded, coming closer to you. You couldn’t stop gawking at the way his chest filled up his shirt so nicely, not caring if you were being obvious anymore. He was standing almost between your legs, and you could feel his breath fanning your face.

“It’s going to be tiring, but if you follow my orders you’ll get to finish. Think you can take it?”

Was it his suggestive words or his plump lips that made you feel so lightheaded? Either way, you wanted to dive in, to finally taste him. But you just had to ask.

“Johnny?”

“That’s my name”

“We aren’t talking about finance, are we?”

He stepped even closer, situating himself between your thighs that you gladly opened for him.

“Fuck no”

The way your hands grabbed him by the neck and pulled him into a kiss, was almost animalistic. Johnny kissed you back with almighty force, open mouthed and breathing heavily. With the dominance that characterized him and a bite on your bottom lip, he pulls you up on your feet by the ID that was hanging from your neck. He tasted like smoke and mint gum.

“I thought you’d quit smoking?”

You felt his right hand grab your throat and he broke the kiss, forcing you to look at him. It wasn’t the pressure to your air flow but his eyes that had you on edge. The usual golden flecks adorning his orbs were hidden behind his dilated pupils. “I’m just a man. There are some things I can’t resist”. He dipped his tongue into your mouth, making you feel like you’re in a fever dream with the way all your fantasies were coming to life. “Open up”, he growled against your lips and you obey like you promised to. He spit in your mouth, in a manner so dirty it had your knees shaking.

You started unbuttoning his shirt, wanting to see more of him. Starting with running your hands over his raging heartbeat, you continue down his abs and end up fumbling with his belt. Johnny helped you, springing out his cock and, damn, he may be half hard but that was the biggest dick you’d ever seen in your life.

He chuckles at your widened eyes but instead of making some cocky remark like you expected he leans down, leaving soothing kisses on your jaw. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you”. He continued his kisses to your neck, all the while unbuttoning your shirt. Leaving it on you, he pulls your boobs over your bra and starts playing with your nipples. The tingling on your breasts was tightly linked it the one on your heat and you decided you needed more.

You took his fingers from your chest and placed them between your folds. Johnny cursed out with how wet you were for him, and started rubbing circles over your clit, occasionally dipping the tips in your entrance. He kept at it, relishing in your moans and he would have ripped his tight little skirt off of you if you were in his bedroom. The build up sexual tension along with the semi-public setting made you close to losing yourself in him. You just needed a push, and Johnny was more than happy to give it to you.

“You’re gonna cum for me. That’s what you wanted wasn’t it? Why you got all dressed up like that?”

“Yes, for you, fuck Johnny”

“Come on, let it all out. Cum so I can fuck the hell out of this tight pussy of yours”

You came all over his fingers, grabbing his arms for support. He gave you a moment, wiping the tears off the corners of your eyes while kissed you slowly. When you started kissing him back with a refuelled passion, signalling that you were ready for what he had to offer, he was back, rougher than ever.

He petted your pussy, collecting your wetness and spreading it all over your folds. You jumped up when you felt him slap over your clit, the lines between pain and pleasure from the overstimulation blurry.

You knew Johnny was strong, but the easiness with which he lifted you from the desk onto your armchair shocked you. Spreading your knees as wide as the cushioned seat allowed you, you stuck your ass out for him. He gave your ass a little slap while you waited for him to slip on a condom. He came prepared, you thought, probably planned on doing this from the moment he stepped into your office.

Johnny filled you up completely, your hypersensitivity making you feel his thickness in all its glory. He started off slow, careful of your tightness, but as he picked up the pace, your vision was all stars and constellations of pleasure. You must have moaned too loudly, because he stopped his thrusts and, in a moment, you felt him shove his tie inside your mouth.

“There’s still some people in the building, remember? Or do you like my cock so much that you don’t even care if they hear?”. You couldn’t muster an answer so you just kept drooling through the fabric your teeth bit into. Your pussy was dripping onto the leather, your wetness allowing Johnny to sink even deeper inside you. The feeling was so overwhelming that you opened your mouth wide in a moan, almost dropping his tie in the process.

You reached out your hand behind you to grab one of his arms in desperation. “I’m so close, so close, don’t stop”. He stared back at you with a crazy look on his face, and pinned your hand back on the headrest in front of you. Lifting one of your legs in the air, he starts fucking you so rough you thought the chair was going to break.

Your second orgasm hit you hard, your trembling body making it clear his size got too much for you. But there was no way you’d let him leave this office without cumming.

You climb down from the chair and got on your knees in front of him. Grasping his cock from the base, you started leaving open mouthed kisses on his balls first. You suck one in your mouth and glance up at him with the most innocent look you could muster, the contrast to your actions driving him insane. Johnny leans his weight on his hands positioned on your desk, letting you work your magic.

Returning on his tip, you ran your tongue in kitten licks on the slit, teasing him. An eyebrow raise from him compelled you to behave, pushing him all the way down at once. It was almost as if you pressed a button at the end of your throat with the way it triggered a guttural moan from him. He weaves one hand through your hair to keep you in place for a second longer and you gag. His dick pulls out, and the string of saliva falls over your white shirt making the fabric look see through. The sight of your lipstick on him, your watery doe eyes and your nipples poking through your now wet shirt was divine. He pushed past your lips again, and this time you made a good use of your tongue. You quicken your pace, his shaky groans and sharp gasps letting you know he was nearing his release.

Grabbing both his flexed thighs, you concentrate your breathing though your nose and deepthroat him again. Johnny growls, hips stuttering and eyes fluttered closed in delight. Warm liquid runs down your throat, almost choking you, but you take it all, relishing in his grunts and the way he moans your name.

After you catch your breath he bends down, planting a gentle kiss on your lips and offers a hand to help you up. You buttoned up in an awkward silence, not exactly sure what should be said after a session like that in a place like this.

“So, I’m guessing Donghyuck told you about my little crush on you?”

“Yup. You should thank him”. He smiles at you sweetly, pinching your cheek lightly and then moving his thumb in circles over the skin. “You also should have told me”

You rolled your eyes, “Not like I haven’t tried to! How much more obvious did I have to be?”

“I’m sorry! It’s just- you’re so pretty and I didn’t wanna be another one of the creepy guys that probably hit on you in the workplace”

Smiling at his thoughtfulness, you chose to forgive him and reached up for another kiss. He engulfs you with his long arms, and you push some hair off his eyes, admiring their softness.

“How about, I let you finish up here and we go for dinner after you’re done?”

“I’m not sure how I’m gonna concentrate after what we did”

“I’ll cover for you, but I can’t promise you that I’ll stop myself from distracting you”

#johnny smut #johnny scenarios #nct smut #nct scenarios #nct johnny #nct 127 #nct 127 smut #johnny suh #heachan scenarios #donghyuck scenarios

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scripttorture · 3 years

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What would you expect from the public, including minors, when torturing someone in public is done, especially when it's a public spectacle and people actually come to watch. Is liking to watch torture a thing in this case? My story is a medieval/steampunk fantasy by the way.

Well Anon, this does still happen today. It happens in the country I grew up in and consider my home. So… my first suggestion is to throw out the implication that this is a weird historical thing the world doesn’t have to deal with any more. Because it is still very real. And if you get any kind of success with your story there’s a good chance some of your readers will have experience with this.

It’s also significantly more complicated then ‘liking’ or ‘disliking’ so let’s unpack this a bit.

I’ve never actually seen anyone maimed or executed. But as a kid of around 9-10 I knew kids my age who had. We used it as a sort of… pissing contest basically. Kids would brag about it to show how hard they were, in the same way we’d stuff chilis into our mouths and see who could last longest.

It’s one of those bizarre kinds of ritualised self-harm that you end up performing in order to cope with awful things.

Because witnessing this kind of stuff is harmful, to adults and children. It can leave people traumatised and displaying some of the symptoms I write about here.

But, however old the characters, if they grew up somewhere where this is the norm then I absolutely guarantee they understand showing opposition is dangerous. They know their responses to these displays of brutality and power are used as a proxy for their loyalty and worthiness by the state.

And boy if you are in any way outside the norm, if you are queer or the ‘wrong’ ethnic group or faith, then the pressure to conform here is so much more intense.

I lived in Saudi, my home town is Dhahran. My parents are from opposite ends of Europe and they tried to raise me Christian. I still spent a lot of my teenage years unpacking stuff I’d absorbed about public executions, amputations, whippings etc.

From the kids I knew growing up (anecdotal evidence no matter how empassioned) I’d say the ‘normal’ responses to witnessing this kind of state violence are varied. Kids would get nightmares, start showing signs of mild anxiety disorders or depression. They’d become moody, angry and generally unhappy. Which they’d sometimes take out on other people.

But I can’t remember anyone ever explicitly linking it to what they witnessed. They’d try to hide this stuff. Some of them would double down on justifications for state violence (seemed pretty common.) They would, above all, deny there was a problem.

Because admitting to mental illness made you ‘weak’ and admitting to doubts about state violence made you a ‘traitor’. Which is a pretty risky thing to label yourself (even by implication) when you live in a state that publicly mutilates and murders people. (Note the author’s bias as a committed pacifist may be showing.)

As you may have noticed Anon, I still carry a significant amount of anger on this particular subject. This bottled vitriole is not directed at you or your story idea but at the states and politicians who make sure this brutality continues. It’s about the fact that I can remember a nine year old girl matter of factly talking about beheading at a birthday party.

Stepping back from the personal side of things for a moment we know from studies of PTSD and trauma survivors generally that witnessing violence can lead to lasting psychological symptoms. Including PTSD.

PTSD specifically is more likely when an individual is directly effected (ie physically hurt). But repeated exposure to traumatic events, including witnessing violence, makes the manifestation of long term symptoms more likely.

So a character that has seen dozens of these attacks is more likely to develop a long term mental health problem then a character who has seen only one. Regardless of age.

We can’t predict which individual symptoms an individual witness will develop or indeed when a witness might develop them. We just don’t know enough about how these things happen yet.

Having said that, the possible symptoms for witnesses are pretty much identical to the possible symptoms for torture survivors (link above.) I’d advise against using chronic pain for witnesses unless you have a clear idea of an underlying cause; it seems (anecdotally) to be more common in people who directly experienced violence.

If you decide to use insomnia there’s a masterpost on sleep deprivation here.

For mental health problems like depression, anxiety etc remember there are physical symptoms as well as symptoms related to mood. Characters who are trying to deny they have a mental health problem might focus overly on physical symptoms. Depression can cause nausea, vomiting and tiredness/lack of energy which might be mistaken for disease. Anxiety can cause chest pain and shakes.

Circling back let’s talk about some of the phrasing in this question for a moment. Because ‘choose to watch’ misunderstands the way states use these public displays of violence.

Attendance and witnessing of public executions and torture is often enforced. Sometimes overtly and sometimes more tacitly. Because the point of these displays is to hammer home the power of the state. That doesn’t work if people can easily choose not to go.

Here’s an example of what that overt and tacit enforcement looked like back home.

Tacit enforcement came from the timing and placement of executions and amputations. They took place on weekends, when almost everyone was off work. They were carried out in major towns and cities, where the population density was higher. The venue was typically on a main thoroughfare close to important sites. Which ensured a high volume of people would be in the area when the execution took place, whether there was due to be an execution or not.

So picture the town or city this is taking place in, in your story. When are the public holidays? Where are the markets? Where are the most popular religious venues? At what time will the most people be in these areas?

All of that will tell you where an execution or public torture is likely to take place. Because if you set this shit up in eye sight of the place most people buy food, at the time when the most people are out, you get witnesses.

Whether they want to be witnesses or not.

Overt enforcement, on the low end of the scale, means having officials among the crowd pushing people towards the scaffold. At home this seemed to be targetted towards children and people who were judged as ‘other’. Different races to the majority, people who might have been read as a different religion, people who might have been read as queer etc.

This is because the message is ‘This could be you.’

I know practices in other countries have sometimes gone beyond this. Police or armed officials will sometimes go out and gather a crowd of witnesses by just… approaching people on the street and demanding they attend.

This approach requires quite a bit of man power and is not practical or necessary in every setting. In most cases setting things up in the right place and time is enough to ensure a large number of witnesses.

What I’m trying to illustrate here is that a lot of people will see this stuff without having made a conscious choice to do so.

And making a conscious choice to see it… well it does say something about the character but not in the way you’re thinking.

Because these displays are all about the power of the state. Witnessing them, responding to them is performance and it’s a performance of state loyalty. You can’t expect someone to give their true opinion on public displays of violence when criticism or voicing ‘dislike’ could lead to them being targets of violence.

Basically if you’ve got characters going to see this stuff regularly then it’s worth asking why they feel the need to display their loyalty in this way. Sometimes it’s because they really really believe in the state. But often… they’re compensating for something.

Wrapping up I think it’s important to note there’s often a difference between what people say about this stuff versus what they actually feel. And that’s because these things are explicitly political and explicitly about the power a state has over it’s subjects.

The way individuals respond to these things in public and what they say about them in public effects how they are treated. Sometimes it comes with obvious legal sanctions. Even if it doesn’t… these displays are entirely about reminding people the state can kill them.

And it doesn’t actually discourage crime or civil disobedience but it does create a climate of fear and hostility which permeates daily life.

Think about why the state is insecure about their power. Think about how your characters live with that background radiation and whether it feeds into cultural ideas around things like martyrdom or nobility of suffering.

Remember that there is a difference between public and private life. Existing in these kinds of brutal states often means having quite a sharp distinction between them. This can create very strong bonds to those the characters trust. It can also create a big difference between private and public personas.

If you’re writing a world where public torture and executions are happening there’s more going on then just individual character’s reactions. You are saying something about the world, the ruling class and the politics of the area.

Take the time make sure you know what you want to say.

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#writing advice #tw torture #tw mutilation #tw racism #tw police brutality #execution #torture as execution #effects of torture on the public #public torture #public execution #writing torture #writing witnesses #writing symptoms #effects of torture #effects of torture on witnesses

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writingindulgence · 4 years

Text

Illumi x F.Reader - Expectation

Pairing: Illumi x Female Reader

Story tags: Arranged marriage, typical Zoldyck behaviour, angst-ish, heavy manipulation, ILLUMI, unhealthy one-sided dependence : ) my guy just toxic

3,200+ words and why? I don’t even like the dude. Also, two points of view.

The sound of fancy porcelain tea cups clinking against the glass table is soothing, along with the warm rays shining on your face. Times like these are what you are thankful for. The smell of purposely picked flowers, arranged to please the eyes. Not the stench of trash dumped for the sole convenience of other countries. Colourful butterflies and bees, instead of flies and disease ridden rats. A home cooked meal ready for your consumption rather than scraps of rotting food that you more often than not nearly died for.

Kukuroo mountain is infinitely more beautiful compared to Meteor City.

“(Y/n) dear, it’s unbecoming of you to make noise with your tableware,” a powerful feminine voice chastates your mistake. The woman sitting opposite you is none other than Kikyo Zoldyck. Or as she forces you to call her, mother.

Your heart flutters in relief, an apologetic expression weaving onto your face. She must be in an agreeable mood since her fan hasn’t struck your hand. Sometimes you are let off with a warning if she spots a blunder on your part. Sometimes, she resorts to physical punishment. It always depends on whether or not a family member said anything to ruin her day. In fact, any matter concerning Killua will set her off in a positive or negative direction.

Just like Illumi whenever you bring up his younger brother.

“I apologise mother, I’m too excited because Illumi is returning,” you proceed to take a sip and this time around, gently settle the tea cup down.

A content hum comes from her direction, her visor flashing for a split second. “Oh (Y/n), you’ll make such a good wife one day.” She picks up a fork gracefully and stabs it into the cake she asked for from the family cook.

The compliment ignites a multitude of feelings in your chest. It spreads out, only one thought in your mind.

How immensely grateful and happy you are to hear it.

Many of your friends from when you were young, starved to death. Some were beaten up by other desperate residents. Others lost their will to fight, a state you threaded on a magnitude of times.

Being taken away by the mafia one day was what gave you back the spark, a life in the city no more out of your reach. Until you figured out what type of work they wanted to sell you and other kids for. Stories from the older girls back in Meteor City came rushing back.

Your bloodlust and instinct to survive are what happened to change your life for the better. Out of all the line-up of children, you were selected by the Zoldycks. Instead of being the pet of some old pervert, you found a home within the assassin family.

There were many times when you felt like giving up. When the training you went through was worse than simply dying. However, you promised yourself to never throw away the chance you received all those years back.

You were indebted to the Zoldycks.

Hearing words of encouragement from one of the people you looked up to the most brought tears to your eyes. You wiped them away with your thumb.

Mother is a role model to you. It helped when you found out that she originates from Meteor City too. In a sense, it is easier to place yourself in her shoes and strive to achieve what she did. Being an amazing assassin, wife and mother.

A sudden scraping of a chair brought you back to the presence, startling you into a defensive pose. The knife under your sundress clasped in your hand.

Out of the corner of your eye you notice Kalluto coming out from behind the bushes, his paper fan also ready for action.

“My Kil, what is he doing?! Quick, we have to stop him. Kalluto go call for Milluki right now!,” she orders shrilly before running into the mansion.

Without hesitation, you rush after her. It is expected of you. A nagging feeling in the back of your head also foreshadows that whatever is going on, it will have dire consequences if not stopped.

Killua is in the foyer, being kept idle by the servants. But not for long. You can see the irritation growing on his face, his muscles tensed.

You’ve known Killua since he was a baby, having been inducted as a future family member when mother was pregnant with him. There’s no doubt that if something wasn’t done, it would lead to a messy aftermath.

A few seconds after you make it inside, Milluki shows up and the servants are all dismissed.

“Kil, my little Kil, what’s wrong? Why did I hear that you’re leaving to take the Hunter’s Exam?,” mother’s voice is aghast, the idea of her favourite child abandoning the nest filling her with pain.

You too are taken aback at the news, a protective sensation coursing through you. Your fingers flex at your side.

“It’s boring here and I heard that the Exam is difficult so I’m going to test my skill,” he shrugs her worry off and spins his skateboard. Your heart begins to pound uncontrollably.

Hearing the disrespect, Milluki steps up and lashes out at Killua. “You brat, what’s with that arrogant attitude you-,”

“Stop that!,” mother’s voice sharply cuts him down.

She begins pleading with Killua to stay, her voice cracking multiple times. It pains you to watch someone you respect growing so desperate.

Killua is too young to understand what he’s putting the ones around him through. Of course, a rebellious phase is healthy-

A prickly discomfort surges through your head and you clutch it. Your unexpected movement grabs everyone’s attention. You try to brush it off, not wishing to be a burden.

It isn’t expected of you to be one.

“Killua, you should stay here. The world is a dangerous place,” your words try to reach him. “Illumi is coming home today, why don’t we-”,

“I don’t want him around! Just leave me alone,” he angrily interrupts. The air grows heavy. Heavier than it’s been since the beginning.

Mother gasps in shock at his behaviour since Killua never really yells at you. Yes, he gets annoyed as much as any other kid but when he shouts, he doesn’t really mean it.

It’s expected of you to coerce him into calming down.

“You’ve changed during the past few weeks (Y/n), after Illumi came back before leaving again. Anyway, I will kill you all if you try to stop me,” Killua promises in a cold voice, his blue eyes a piercing ice.

This rouses an onslaught of insults from Milluki and a mix of agony and happiness from mother.

However, you’re currently stuck in your own mind, reflecting on Killua’s comment. It is true that during the past three weeks you doted on him more than ever before. Usually you try to split your attention between him and Kalluto when you have free time. What changed?

Nothing should have changed, Killua is the priority of the family.

A high-pitched scream echoes around the foyer and your clouded head awakens. The sight in front of you freezes your blood and it takes immense strength not to bite your tongue.

Mother is kneeling down on the ground, her hands covering her bloody face. Before you can take a step, Milluki rages and charges at Killua. The young boy bounces back and proceeds to plunge the knife into his older brother. Milluki curses and grabs his wound.

On impulse, your hand is already equipped with a knife and you’re ready to protect yourself as well as mother Killua.

Killua mistakes your movements as an attack and strikes his own knife across your arm. A long gash appears on your skin, the blood seeping out moments later. You take in the pain as punishment. Punishment for letting it get this far and failing.

You’re a failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.

Taking the chance to escape, he kicks his skateboard up and runs out.

And you were helpless to stop him.

It’s been a while since Illumi has been back home on Kukuroo mountain, his previous mission requiring him to travel across multiple locations. The target was a cautious person so they moved from place to place, leaving lousy decoys. That did not impede Illumi at all, it was simply an inconvenience at worst.

After all, nervous-wrecks are the ones who put their emotions out on display. They are the first to slip up due to the fact that they care about others.

Which is concerning because Killua is at a stage where he is showing his rebellious streak more often. It is crucial that he can snuff it out before his dear brother falls further down the slope of idiotic fantasies . In which case, it is a slight relief that (Y/n) is here. She tries to keep Killua in check in a subtle way instead of hanging over his shoulder or perpetuating his moody behaviour.

Though the last time he visited there were hints of her growing soft and losing her devotion of raising Killua to be the next head of the family. He is ashamed to confess that it irked him to some degree. It’s expected of her to put her desires down for what he wants. And he wants Killua to be the next head.

Even so, he thought that he dealt with this the last time.

However, imagine the surprise he felt when his mother came wailing to him, begging him to follow her little Kil to the Hunter’s Exam. To think that instead of a joyful family reunion, the news of his stray younger brother reached his ears before anything else.

That won’t do.

Currently, it’s close to midnight which is the time (Y/n) comes to his room to say goodnight. Why she even bothers is beyond him. The effort of keeping up with formalities could be used for better activities. It’s already indisputable that they are arranged to marry in the future at the request of his parents, so there is no reason to be close together in any romantic sense.

In fact, Killua will succeed as the head which is why there is no point in thinking about his own future.

A sigh leaves his mouth.

There is only one positive outcome that came out of this whole arrangement. He has an extra set of eyes and he’s sure that she will listen to him without question. All he has to do is play into these formalities and she’s wrapped around his finger.

An affectionate hug here, a tiny smile there...Normally he’d be concerned that a future Zoldyck , even if not by blood, would be so easy to deceive. However, since every carefully planned step is coming from him he’s not surprised in the slightest.

It’s expected of (Y/n) to be loyal, just as much as it’s expected for Killua to take over the family business.

The wooden clock hanging opposite his bed strikes 12 but there is no sign of (Y/n). She never runs late.

The fact that she hadn’t even greeted him when he came back is also unusual. Normally she’d be pacing in front of the entrance door but today his mother took over that role. He heard that she got injured by Killua but (Y/n) has experienced worse so what’s the fuss?

It’s not his problem, he’ll just take a bath before bed. She’ll come running eventually.

Illumi’s right arm is beginning to grow numb. He hasn’t moved from the water in over an hour. Not because he needed a break to relax, taking time off for yourself is inefficient. No, he hasn’t moved because he’s been waiting for the familiar steps and hesitant knock to come from outside his room.

Discerning who someone is from the sound of their footsteps and how they carry themselves is second nature to any professional assassin. For instance, Milluki hovers in one spot when walking while Kalluto creates soft patters with his toes.

On the other hand, (Y/n) always shuffles her feet forward just before his door. It takes her approximately 2 seconds to knock when she’s unsure, 1 second when she’s in a normal mood and 0.5 whenever she has news deemed worthy enough for him to hear. Reading the mood of someone before they see you face to face is important.

Coming to terms with the fact that today she won’t pay him a visit, he steps out of the bathtub, water dripping down his naked body. He throws on a plain black bathrobe and leaves the bathroom. Giving his bed a quick-over, he walks out the door.

Guess it’s time for him to pay a visit instead.

If he actually bothers and gives it some thought, it’s not a mystery as to why he hasn’t even seen her shadow today. She’s ashamed. Ashamed of being a failure for letting Killua go.

Her scrambled mind is most likely trying to piece together what she should say. How she should ask for forgiveness and repent.

He wonders if she’s starving herself or if she’s contemplating about going to the self-confinement room.

Normally he’d push her into whatever she makes up but a stick approach by itself won’t be enough. There needs to be a push and pull factor involved if he wants her to listen to him unconditionally.

And what better way than to appear before her, disheveled and still wet in his robe? She’ll jump to conclusions.

Further guilt will set in, how she unnecessarily worried him by skipping the usual goodnight. His state will continue feeding her imagination, connecting unrelated dots to make her believe that he cares for her.

Truly, a puppet and its real master.

Soaking footprints follow behind him on the floor, the dim candlelight making them difficult to notice. He knocks once before letting himself in and shutting the door, back turned to the only other person inside.

A small gasp penetrates the silence and a rush of steps follow suit, stopping just behind him.

“Illumi, welcome back,” (Y/n) is the first to speak. He stays silent.

A nervous shuffle. “Is..everything okay?”.

The voice quietens downs the more she speaks. That should be enough for now.

He turns around and looks down at her concerned face, with no emotion of his own. Her eyes widen a fraction after registering his condition. Before she can open her mouth to question him further, Illumi crinkles his eyes and smiles.

“It’s nothing. I was just worried since I didn’t see you today,” he gazes away, giving her enough time to fix her expression. It’ll be harder for him to get her to open up if she thinks that he sees through her lack of control.

“I missed you too-,”

Presumptuous to think that he missed her.

“-and I’m sorry for not saying anything. I just…,” she stops right before confessing her shortcoming.

He doesn’t provide her with any more time to compose herself, a full day is already generous. Grabbing the door handle he gives it a slight tug but her hand shuts it and pulls his sleeve. That’s new. (Y/n) rarely takes the initiative.

He allows her to drag him over to the bed, slightly curious about her next move. Is she trying to entertain him as an apology or simply trying to put distance between him and the door?

Both tactics aren’t half bad when it comes to simple targets.

He sits down on the covers and analyses her.

A long white nightdress, face ready for bed, barefoot, and a long knife wound going up her arm.

A shred of pride for Killua’s work passes through his head but he doesn’t showcase this. If by any chance she spotted the look, it would demolish the picture he wants to paint.

(Y/n) kneels down in front of him and takes his hand into hers. It’s warm, though not as soft as it used to be. Her breasts rest atop his knees.

His attention migrates from the sudden action to her face, looking for answers. He made sure that she will only expect affection coming from him, not the other way around. It would be too tiring to keep up a loving demeanour- no, scratch that. It wouldn’t be tiring but the expectations would eventually rise and it would result in less time spent on bringing up Killua.

Oh, he zoned out.

(Y/n)’s eyes are full of regret and desperation, the hand holding his trembling just enough to tell him that today’s event is eating at her. Is she waiting for him to say something?

Finally after what feels like an unprecedented amount of time, the scene unfolds.

Her smaller hand pulls his to her face and rests it against her cheek. The second his skin touches hers, he detects slight heat radiating. She must have not treated the cut. The knife was probably dirty too, Killua slacks off in that regard.

“I’m sorry for being a failure, I’m very sorry Illumi. I have no excuse,” the apology flows out of her mouth, bottom lip quivering. The pain of looking at someone she disappointed forces her eyes to shut close. Her free hand latches onto his thigh and she digs in before continuing.

“You can slash my other arm as punishment. Or hang me upside down in the self-containment room,” she throws out. “But please, please don’t give up on me. I can do better Illumi”.

And as if to prove how determined she is, her eyes open up again, staring deeply into his own. Unwavering. Confident.

Though the thumb that he has under her jaw gave the hammering pulse away.

1,2,3. 1,2. 1,2,3.

He stretched out the silence, pretending to ponder over his answer. The unsettling emotions influencing her thoughts will prove beneficial when he flips her assumption around.

He removes his hand from her cheek and moves the one on his thigh to her side. (Y/n) adopts a look of relief, believing that he agreed to her conditions of punishment. What he’s about to do is infinitely more cruel though.

She catches her breath when he follows her example and kneels in front of her. He pulls up the sleeve of her nightdress that’s slipping down before grabbing her shoulders, gently.

“How can I not give up on you when you give up on yourself,” he lectures her, peeking down at her wound. Make the target question their actions.

An expression of remorse adorns her face, a downward tug of the mouth.

He pulls her in, arms encircling and resting on her lower back. The material of the nightdress is light enough for him to make out the feeling of skin.

“Though I won’t give up on you.” Affirmation and a moment of reassurance.

One of his hands travels deliberately slowly up to her neck. It rests on the back of her head, fingers entangled in her hair. Illumi locates the present that he left her the last time he visited and pushes it back into her head. It has moved slightly out.

This prompts (Y/n) to hug him in response, her previously hanging arms now resting comfortably around him. Good, as for the finishing line.

“Though your failure is a disappointment, I know that you will not repeat the same mistake, because you

love me, right?”.

Her head moves to rest between the crook of his neck, nodding in agreement. She doesn’t ask him if he loves her.

It’s expected of her not to.

#illumi zoldyck #illumi x reader #illumi zoldyck x reader #hunter x hunter fanfiction #hunter x hunter #This took 2 long but now I can focus on other things yay

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1plus1kiyoomi · 4 years

Text

Chapter 9: Fried

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You groan as you look around your room, scattered paperwork and schoolwork all over the place. You have so much to do but you don’t know where to start. Out of frustration, you breakdown. Rice hears your sobs so he runs to you, and licks your arms. You take him into your arms, hugging him. He starts barking, worried about you.

“(Y/N), what’s wrong with Rice?” You hear Kita ask from outside of your room, causing you to cry harder.

The two of you haven’t been in touch lately since you’re trying so hard to distant yourself from him. You’ve always reasoned to him that you were busy, because you were, and you still are. But you’d be lying if you say that he isn’t one of the reasons of your breakdown.

You miss him so much. You want to cling to him like always. But you also seek reassurance from him. You need a label to your relationship. You’re afraid that he’s just leading you on because of his ex. What if he hasn’t moved on from her? Moving on from 7-year relationship is not easy, and from his friends’ words, he loved her a lot. Maybe he still loves her.

“I’m coming in,” Kita says and slides the door open. You grab a pillow and cover your face with it. You hear him sigh, and go around the room, probably picking up the pieces of paper. You feel him sit in front of you, so you jump in your mattress and hide under the blanket. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m just tired,” you say in between your sobs. Rice jumps on top of your covered face, making you pull the blanket down so the dog can see you. He gives you a puppy look, whimpering. You cry again, burying your face on Rice’s fur.

Kita stands from where he was sitting, then leaves the room. A few minutes later, he comes back with a tray of food. “Eat first, then get some rest.”

“I’m really fine,” you assure him, wiping the tears off your cheeks. He sets the tray down on the floor and you hold Rice tightly, not wanting him to devour the food. He takes a spoonful of rice with a piece of beef on top, then feeds you. “Thank you. I can feed myself.”

“No. It’s fine. You seem really busy nowadays. This is the least I can do.” He feeds you soup this time, which you reluctantly accept. You feel like you’re being babied and you feel a little bit of ease. “I know you have a lot on your plate right now, but you shouldn’t forget that you’re the most important dish on your plate.”

The metaphor he used makes you chuckle, completely stopping your eyes from tearing up. You nod enthusiastically, taking another spoonful of what he’s feeding you. The three of you stay silent as he feeds you and sometimes Rice. The silence is comforting. You can even say that it’s helping calm you down.

Finally finishing your dinner, Kita tucks you in bed. “Rice, let’s get out. Let your mom rest.” Kita orders the dog, but you and your furry son look up to him with pleading eyes, begging him to let Rice stay in your room. “Fine. Just for tonight.” Kita gives in, ruffling the tops of your heads.

Kita heads to the kitchen to the kitchen, leaving the dishes by the sink. He takes a seat on one of the cushions, then says his thanks before he starts eating. It has been exactly 10 days. 10 days since he last ate dinner with you. If it weren’t for Rice, he would have eaten alone.

Knowing that you’re busy, Kita doesn’t push you to eat dinner with him. He sometimes feels lonely, but you should prioritize your work. He admits that he misses you clinging to him and you annoying him every chance you get. He wants to tell you that he wants to share your burden with you, but it seems like you don’t give him the chance to talk.

Kita isn’t stupid. Aside from your busyness with the shelter and school, he’s aware that you’re avoiding him. You aren’t so subtle about it. Who stays at school until midnight? He also knows you’re purposely coming home after his bedtime. He waits for you every night just to make sure you come home safe.

Confusion is what he feels. He knows what you’re doing, but he doesn’t understand why you’re doing it.

After eating, Kita does the dishes then heads to your room. He checks you and Rice, and the two of you are sleeping soundly. He picks up your schoolwork, then decides to do them for you. It’s a little thing he can do to help you ease your stress.

“I’ll start with this,” Kita quietly says, taking your worksheet for Engineering Math. He takes his phone out and looks for a Youtube tutorial on how to do the topic you’re assigned to.

The next morning, you wake up without Rice around anymore. “He and Kita must have gone to the fields already.” You stretch your arms and see your schoolwork and paperwork arranged and in order. A note is on top of your binder so you read it.

(Y/N)

I finished doing your tasks for school. I also wrote some notes for your Systems Software class. I read that you have a test on it. I’ve also highlighted important notes in your other classes in case you have a surprise quiz.

Don’t forget to eat breakfast. I prepared a bento box for your lunch. Make you eat it. I will check later. Take a break, too. Stop overworking yourself. If you need help, I’m just there.

Rice and I are off to work. I hope to see you at dinner.

I miss you.

- Shinsuke

Tears come out of your eyes as you read his note. “What am I even doing? Why am I aimlessly avoiding him? He must have spent all night doing these.” You take your phone to check the time and you see that it’s almost lunch, which means all your morning classes are finished. “Kita is going to kill me.”

After a long day at school, you head home. You look for an easy recipe online, in hopes that you can make a decent dish for Kita. It’s your first cooking. You don’t even know why you thought of making him dinner as an apology gift. The kitchen is one of the places you’re forbidden to go to but here you are.

“Is 2 tablespoon really enough?” You ask yourself. You shrug, then pour more soy sauce. You forget about the recipe and make the dish using your instinct. If it’s meant to taste good, it’ll taste good.

“I’m home!” You hear Kita from the front door. Rice comes running to you at the kitchen, excitedly jumping on your legs.

“Hello, little boy. How was the fields today? Did you miss mom?” You coo at him, lifting him from the ground.

“You’re actually here,” you hear Kita say, making you look up towards him. Putting Rice down, you go to him. You wrap your arms around his waist, smiling at him with your signature grin. He missed that smile.

“Well, of course, baby. You said you miss me so I’m here,” you tell him, snuggling your face on his chest.

Kita hugs you back, placing his chin on your shoulder. The two of you stand like that for a minute. You realized that last night, it wasn’t the silence that was comforting you. It was Kita. His presence is enough to make you feel less stressed. He gives you a light squeeze before pulling away from you. You look up to him and see that his eyes are on the dining table.

“I made dinner. Look at my rice! It’s perfect!” You proudly say, pulling him to the dining area. He stares at the food you made, and you nervously wait for his comment. He takes a spoon and tastes the supposedly curry dish. “How does it taste?”

Kita doesn’t answer you but looks at you emotionlessly. “It doesn’t taste that bad. It’s edible.” You sulk but start eating anyway. “How was your quiz?”

“I got a perfect score thanks to your notes. You’re really smart! Were you in the top of your class in high school?” You compliment him.

“I had a scholarship,” Kita answers and your jaw drops. How can he be so perfect at everything? He’s athletic, he’s handsome, he’s talented, he’s smart, he’s well-mannered, his soft spoken. He has probably not sin. But he has to be bad at something. But what? Is he a virgin? Is he bad in bed? He seems like the type to wait after marriage. So you’ll have to marry him to find out. Your cheeks heat up just from the thought.

Due to your daydreaming, you don’t hear Kita talking. “Hmmm? What did you say baby?”

“I said I like my eggs fried in the morning,” he repeats in his usual nonchalant voice. His words cause you to short circuit, unsure of what you heard.

“Why are you suddenly saying that?” You hide your face in embarrassment, flustered by his words. Rice is at side, staring at you as if he’s judging you. He probably is.

“You asked 3 months ago,” Kita explains, eating as if didn’t say anything.

“I know I did! But why say it now?” You glare at him. He puts his chopsticks down and bore his eyes at yours.

“Because I like you back now.”

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Facts:

Resting is very very important. No matter how busy you are, please spare some time to rest. Staying hydrated is as important. Don’t forget to drink your liquids. <3

Sleep is important in processing and committing new information to memory through a process known as memory consolidation. So pulling an all-nighter for a quiz isn’t really the best thing to do.

Sleep is important to overall well-being and mood. Sleep deprivation can often cause irritability, impatience, inability to concentrate, and moodiness.

Rest does not only involve physical relaxation, but mental as well. Mental exertion can also affect your body’s ability to cope or keep up and can cause you to feel overwhelmed and physically exhausted.

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