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purplesurveys · 3 years

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When was the last time you felt like “getting into someone’s pants”? Way back last year.

What is your favorite energy drink, if you have a favorite at all? I find energy drinks nasty.

Would you have kids with the last person you kissed? That wouldn’t be possible even in the literal sense.

Do you know someone who threatens to kill themselves? Before.

Would you ever completely dye your hair the color green? Yes, but I would opt for a darker shade rather than a bright or neon one.

Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship before? I have not. Thinking about it, I’m pretty low-maintenance so I could probably handle it if I ever find myself in that situation, as long as I’m invested enough in the relationship and my partner.

What is your favorite food to eat around Christmas? I like anything my family prepares really, but I definitely go for lumpia first if I see a whole container of it.

Do the people in your town speak like rednecks? No and I’m not sure if we have an equivalent for that here.

When was the last time you cried happy tears? Like a week ago when the Permission to Dance video came out. The ending when everyone was taking off their masks and smiling was really heartwarming.

How liberal are you? Enough to make most of my relatives uncomfortable.

Would you mind living near large predatory animals? Yes. I’ve lived in gated villages all my life so it will take a lot of getting used to.

Have you ever experienced altitude sickness? I don’t think so. The ‘worst’ I’ve experienced is just feeling pressure in my ears and having weakened hearing whenever we drive up mountains; it takes a while before mine do the popping thing and I get my normal hearing back.

What’s your biggest priority right now? To be consistent at improving at my job and making fewer mistakes as I go. I shared this with my boss recently and she told me not to worry too much as I’m doing better than I think I am and that the mistakes I beat myself about have actually been small and fixable ones, but the perfectionist/workaholic in me just refuses to be reassured lol.

If you’ve stayed overnight in a hospital, how did you entertain yourself? The last time this happened, public wi-fi was still mostly a myth so I had to contend with A LOT of forced napping just to make the time pass by. I didn’t have a phone either, so my experience was extremely dull and boring.

Are your hands unsteady? They’re not surgeon-level stable but I think they’re fine for the most part.

Do you listen to a lot of mainstream music? I used to until I got into BTS. I haven’t really listened to any other artist since getting into them back in April lol.

Do you think you’re pretty? Some days.

Have you ever added someone you don’t know on Facebook? Yeah, a few work contacts like bloggers whose names I recognized but have never talked to/engaged with.

Do you have dirty pictures in your phone? Nope.

Have you ever looked up porn on the internet? Yes. I have my on-and-off phases when it comes to porn though and these days I don’t watch a lot of it.

Would you ever shoot someone right in the face? In a case of self-defense where I was clearly trying to be killed, that's right where I would aim. But otherwise, of course I wouldn't. < Sounds about right. But holy shit that sounds like it would look so gross.

Have you ever sold drugs? I’ve never been around drugs ever.

Did you ever try cutting yourself? It was a coping mechanism many, many moons ago.

Who’s the last guy you texted? It was a - surprise surprise - delivery guy who needed directions again to my house.

Who do you know that wears the most make up? I’m not sure, but then again most people I know don’t really put on makeup these days because lol Covid and stay-at-home orders??

Do any of your friends have kids? None of my friends do but I know several acquaintances and people from high school who’ve already given birth.

Have you ever been tied up? Yeah.

How many times have you been cussed out? Nearly everyday as a teenager.

Are you anyone’s first love? I think?

Have you ever had an out-of-body experience? Nope.

Do you have more than one personality? Nope.

Do you prefer gory horror films or the psychological ones? Psychological ones for sure, but I don’t mind gore as well as long as it’s fun to watch and that it’s not too corny.

Do you have a favorite YouTuber or do you not watch much YouTube? I haven’t watched a lot of YouTubers these days, but very recently I’ve been gravitating towards soothing vloggers like Anna Park and Mejiwoo. Their vlogs are greeeeaaaaat and I’m excited to discover similar creators so I can watch more videos that carry the same vibe.

Are you a good dancer? I dance only when alone or when drunk. That said, I’m no good at all.

If you could find one long-lost friend of the past, who would it be? Continued from yesterday. It’d be nice to reconnect with Raegan for like a day, just to catch up. Then again I’ve since been able to track her down on social media, so it’s nice to be able to see how she’s doing, at least from afar.

Was your sixth grade teacher a man or a woman? The teacher-in-charge of my section was a woman. They didn’t really appoint guy teachers to be TICs until recently.

Have you ever had any teeth pulled? Yeah, but it had been a decayed tooth at that point that really needed to be pulled since it technically didn’t have a purpose anymore.

Do you wash your hair or your body first when taking a shower? Hair.

Have you ever been to a nursing home? I don’t think so.

Have you ever lived in a house that has been broken into? Fortunately, no. My mom’s childhood home was robbed though, and their grand piano ended up being stolen :( To this day they have no clue how the thieves were able to pull it off without making too big of a fuss.

Is there someone in your life you don’t want in it? I don’t think I dislike anyone that much at the moment.

How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over? Three. Two of them because they died, and the other one is my dad for the times we had to drive him to the airport though I only cried over it only as a kid.

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Andi.

Has anyone ever told you they were in love with you? Yes.

Pretending to “never get the text” from someone who annoys you. Is that you? Not really. I reply, just not quickly enough.

If your ex came up to you and asked you to take them back, what would you say? Honest to god I would probably be smug about it, and ask what led to the sudden change of mind. I’m doing too okay now to entertain the request though, so idk if I would agree to it or not because I’ve worked pretty hard to get here.

Do you prefer boys to shave down there? I wouldn’t know; I’ve never been with a guy before so I haven’t really had a chance to establish a preference.

How much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)? Nothing.

Do you enjoy watching cooking shows? I have my moods. I prefer my cooking shows on YouTube, though.

Do you worry about gaining weight? No.

Have you ever seen the movie A Walk to Remember? Cliche or worth watching? Yeah the acting was so fucking cheesy the first 5 minutes the only thing left for me to do was gag. What’s one event your town has that you don’t like to participate in? They don’t really organize stuff here, or if they do I never join them to begin with.

Are any of your siblings married? What are their spouses' names? Nope. I know my sister doesn’t want to get married + I don’t speak to my brother, so I dunno if I’ll ever have any in-laws tbh.

Do you like being home alone or does it freak you out? Well obviously I crave it these days, so it actually feels nice when everyone in the family has errands to run on the same day.

Did you lose friends when you started dating someone? I lost Sofie, but I also blame college life for that loss.

Did you leave milk and cookies for Santa when you were little? No.

To who did you last give the finger to? I haven’t had to flip someone off in a while. I’m guessing just some stupid driver.

Do you talk in your sleep? Nope. At least I have never been informed that I do.

Do you have a good relationship with your parents? It’s civil enough for the house to stay quiet most days, but it’s nothing excellent.

Have you ever been a featured member on any website? I don’t think so.

Do you feel that your previous relationships were a waste of time? Yes.

Do you prefer hot chocolate with or without marshmallows? Without. I HAAAAAATE marshmallows.

Which do you like better: Regular cakes or cookie cakes? I never got the point of cookie cakes tbh lol.

Have you ever been hit by the opposite sex? No.

If your significant other cheated on you, would you take them back? I know I definitely have the capacity to be dumb enough to do this, but it would also depend on how invested I am in the person.

What was the last song you listened to? I'm currently listening to a slowed down version of Jungkook’s cover of Biebs’ 2U. 4 AM things.

What do you look for most in a friendship? I’ve answered this question on a previous survey, same with a few of the following questions.

#survey #surveys

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annie-banks · 5 years

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Adore You - Harry Styles (2019) // you’re wonder, under summer sky // All About That Bass – Meghan Trainor (2014) // every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top // Alone Again – Betty Who (2014) // when it rains it pours and you drown me out // Anything Could Happen – Ellie Goulding (2012) // letting darkness grow, as if we need it's palette and we need it's color // Bad Girls - M.I.A. (2012) // leaving boys behind ‘cause it’s illegal just to kill // Bitch Better Have My Money - Rihanna (2015) // your wife in the backseat of my brand new foreign car // Blank Space – Taylor Swift (2014) // darling I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream // Bloodbuzz Ohio – The National (2010) // I was carried to Ohio in a swarm of bees // Bo$$ – Fifth Harmony (2014) // boss. Michelle Obama. purse so heavy gettin' Oprah dollas // Boy Problems - Carly Rae Jepsen (2015) // I think I broke up with my boyfriend today and I don't really care // Boys - Charli XCX (2017) // I wish I had a better excuse like I had to trash the hotel lobby // Butterflies - Kacey Musgraves (2018) // I was hiding in doubt till you brought me out of my chrysalis // Call Me Maybe – Carly Rae Jepsen (2011) // before you came into my life I missed you so bad // Call Your Girlfriend – Robyn (2010) // don't you tell her how I give you something that you never even knew you missed // Canyon Moon - Harry Styles (2019) // doors yellow, broken, blue // Chandelier – Sia (2014) // I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry // Cherry - Harry Styles (2019) // I confess I can tell that you are at your best, I'm selfish so I'm hating it // Circles - Post Malone (2019) // we couldn't turn around, 'til we were upside down // C’mon - Panic! At the Disco and Fun. (2011) // feels like I am falling down a rabbit hole, falling for forever, wonderfully wandering alone // C’Mon – Kesha (2012) // feeling like a saber-tooth tiger sipping on a warm budweiser // Cruise (Remix) - Florida Georgia Line ft. Nelly (2012) // she was sippin' on southern and singin' Marshall Tucker, we were falling in love in the sweet heart of summer // Daddy Lessons - Beyonce ft. Dixie Chicks (2017) // it’s your song // Dark Fantasy – Kanye West (2010) // too many Urkels on your team, that's why your wins low // Death of a Bachelor - Panic! At the Disco (2016) // the lace in your dress tingles my neck, how do I live? // Demons- Sleigh Bells (2012) // They're gonna stand em up six by six by six // Diane - Cam (2017) // And all those nights that he's given to me I wish that I could give them back to you // Diane Young – Vampire Weekend (2013) // you torched a Saab like a pile of leaves // Downtown - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Eric Nally, Melle Mel, Grandmaster Caz, Kool Moe Dee (2016) // neighbors yelling at me like, you need to slow down going thirty-eight, Dan, chill the fuck out, mow your damn lawn and sit the hell down // End of the Day - One Direction (2015)// I told her that I loved her, just not sure if she heard. the roof was pretty windy and she didn't say a word, party died downstairs, had nothing left to do just me, her and the moon // Fireproof – One Direction (2015) // riding on the wind and I won't give up // ***Flawless – Beyonce ft. Nicki Minaj (2013) // mayday, mayday, earth to bitches // Follow Your Arrow - Kacey Musgraves (2013) // if you save yourself for marriage, you're a bore. if you don't save yourself for marriage, you're a whore-able person // Formation - Beyonce (2016) // always stay gracious, best revenge is your paper // Forrest Gump – Frank Ocean (2012) // my fingertips and my lips, they burn from the cigarettes // Freaks and Geeks – Childish Gambino (2011) // I have worked all winter, I will not fail summer, in the back of the bush, like Gavin Rossdale's drummer // Gay Pirates - Cosmo Jarvis (2011) // and I hope they didn't tie up your hands as tight as mine. I'll see you on the bed of this blue ocean, babe, sometime // Get Lucky – Daft Punk ft. Pharrell Williams (2013) // the present has no ribbon, your gift keeps on giving // Glory - Bastille (2016) // and then you put your hand in mine and pulled me back from things divine, stop looking up for heaven, waiting to be buried // Good Grief - Bastille (2016) // caught off guard by your favourite song, I'll be dancing at a funeral, dancing at a funeral // Green Light - Lorde (2017) // I whisper things, the city sings them back to you // Grown - Little Mix (2015) // no regrets, it's a lesson learned 'cause what you think ain't my concern // Hayloft - Nickel Creek (2014) // young lovers with their legs tied up in knots // Holocene – Bon Iver (2011) // and at once I knew I was not magnificent // I Believe - Original Broadway Cast (2011) // and I believe that the Garden of Eden was in Jackson County, Missouri // I Like It - Cardi B, Bad Bunny, and J Balvin (2018) // I like those Balenciagas, the ones that look like socks // I Love It – Icona Pop ft. Charli XCX (2012) // you're from the '70s, but I'm a '90s bitch // Judas – Lady Gaga (2011) // I'm just a holy fool, oh baby he's so cruel, but I'm still in love with Judas, baby // Juice - Lizzo (2019) // I be drippin' so much sauce got a bitch lookin' like RAGÚ // Just Hold On - Steve Aoki ft. Louis Tomlinson (2016) // feels like you're standing on the edge looking at the stars and wishing you were them // Laura Palmer – Bastille (2013) // what a year and what a night, what terrifying final sights put out your beating heart // Lemonworld – The National (2010) // I gave my heart to the Army, the only sentimental thing I could think of // Love on Top – Beyonce (2011) // I can see the stars all the way from here, can't you see the glow on the window pane // Make Me Feel - Janelle Monáe (2018) // it's like I'm powerful with a little bit of tender, an emotional, sexual bender // Making the Most of the Night - Carly Rae Jepsen (2015) // baby I'm speeding and red lights, I'll run // Meet Me in the Hallway - Harry Styles (2017) // just let me know I'll be on the floor, on the floor // Menswear – The 1975 (2013) // well, who's this? going for the kiss, I'm probably gonna yosh in your mouth // Mirrors – Justin Timberlake (2013) // if you ever feel alone and the glare makes me hard to find, just know that I'm always parallel on the other side // Monster – Kanye West ft. Jay-Z, Rick Ross, Nicki Minaj, and Bon Iver (2010) // you could be the king but watch the queen conquer // The Mother We Share - Chvrches (2012) // I'm in misery but you can't see, as old as your omens // My Church - Maren Morris (2016) // I just keep the wheels rolling, radio scrolling 'til my sins wash away // N****s in Paris - Jay-Z and Kanye West (2011) // Prince William's ain't do it right if you ask me 'cause I was him, I would have married Kate and Ashley // Oh, What a World - Kacey Musgraves (2018) // did I know you once in another life? are we here just once or a billion times? // Old Town Road (Remix) - Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus (2019) // cowboy hat from Gucci, Wrangler on my booty // Otis – Jay-Z and Kanye West (2011) // luxury rap, the Hermes of verses, sophisticated ignorance, write my curses in cursive // Pineapple Girl - Mister Heavenly (2011) // I am besieged by the vagaries of power. I'm all alone and lonely in this tower // Primadonna – Marina and the Diamonds (2012) // I know I've got a big ego, I really don't know why it's such a big deal though // Pumped Up Kicks – Foster the People (2010) // he's got a rolled cigarette, hanging out his mouth he's a cowboy kid // Radio - Lana Del Rey (2012) // pick me up and take me like a vitamin 'cause my body's sweet like sugar venom // Raising Hell - Kesha ft. Big Freedia (2019) // hungover, heart of gold, holy mess. doin' my best, bitch, I'm blessed // Rivers and Roads - The Head and the Heart (2011) // been talking 'bout the way things change // Royals - Lorde (2013) // we don't care, we aren't caught up in your love affair // S.O.B. - Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats (2015) // I'm going to cover myself with the ashes of you and nobody's gonna give a damn // Satisfied - Original Broadway Cast (2015) // it's a dream and it's a bit of a dance, a bit of a posture, it's a bit of a stance. He's a bit of a flirt, but I'm 'a give it a chance. I asked about his fam'ly, did you see his answer? his hands started fidgeting, he looked askance? he's penniless, he's flying by the seat of his pants // Sex – The 1975 (2013) // and she said use your hands and my spare time, we've got one thing in common it's this tongue of mine // Shake It Out – Florence + the Machine (2011) // our love is pastured such a mournful sound, tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground// Shut Up and Dance - Walk the Moon (2014) // my discotheque Juliet teenage dream // Silly Love Songs - Darren Criss (2011) // how can I tell you about my loved one // Some Nights - Fun. (2012) // this is not one for the folks at home, I'm sorry to leave, mom, I had to go. who the fuck wants to die alone all dried up in the desert sun? // Someone Like You – Adele (2011) // we were born and raised in a summer haze, bound by the surprise of our glory days // Sorry - Justin Bieber (2015) // *dolphin noises* // Spaceship - Kesha (2017) // I knew from the start I don't belong in these parts. there's too much hate, there's too much hurt for this heart // Stars - Fun. (2012) // some nights I rule the world with bar lights and pretty girls, but most nights I stay straight and think about my mom // Stitches - Shawn Mendes (2015) // needle and the thread gotta get you out of my head // Sunflower, Vol. 6 - Harry Styles (2019) // *gasp* your flowers just died, plant new seeds in the melody // Super Bass - Nicki Minaj (2010) // and he ill, he real, he might gotta deal. he pop bottles and he got the right kind of build. he cold, he dope, he might sell coke. he always in the air, but he never fly coach // Take Me to Church - Hozier (2013) // I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. I'll tell you my sins, and you can sharpen your knife // Thank u, Next - Ariana Grande (2018) // she taught me love, she taught me patience, how she handles pain // The Pachanelly Canon - Gentleman’s Rule (2012) // I'm getting pages out of New Jersey, from Courtney B telling me about a party up in NYC. can I make it? damn right I be on the next flight. payin cash. first class. sittin' next to Vanna White // The Wire - Haim (2013) // I just know, I know, I know, I know that you're gonna be okay anyway // Theme From “Cheers” - Titus Andronicus (2010)// I'm sick and tired of everyone in this town being so goddamn uptight, but don't you worry, I'll do all the talking when they turn on the flashing lights // Thieves – She & Him (2010) // I'm not a prophet, old love is in me. new love just seeps right in and makes me guilty // This is America - Childish Gambino (2018) // tell somebody, you go tell somebody. grandma told me, get your money, black man // Trouble - Neon Jungle (2013) // lights up let's have a toke, pour more whiskey in my coke .. Truth Hurts - Lizzo (2017) // you coulda had a bad bitch, non-committal // Uma Thurman - Fall Out Boy (2015) // and I slept in last night's clothes and tomorrow’s dreams, but they are not quite what they seem // Wetsuit – The Vaccines (2011) // with a cool, cool breeze and dirty knees, I rest on childhood memories // What a Feeling - One Direction (2015) // when the air ran out and we both started running wild, the sky fell down // Wilson - Fall Out Boy (2018) // I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color // Wolves - One Direction (2015) // I feel the waves getting started, it's a rush inside I can't control // You Need Me, I Don’t Need You - Ed Sheeran (2011) // melody music maker, reading all the papers, they say I'm up and coming like I'm fucking in an elevator // You’re in Love With a Psycho - Kasabian (2017) // I'm like the taste of macaroni on a seafood stick

Songs that would have made the list were they on Spotify: We Can’t Stop - Bastille // I Love Clothes (Deadbeat Summer) - Childish Gambino // G.O.O.D. Friday - Kanye West ft. Common, Pusha T, Kid Cudi, Big Sean & Charlie Wilson // Driving in Cars with Boys - Lana Del Rey // Blurred Lines - Vampire Weekend // a number of mashups (Office Musik, What Makes You Da One, Live While We Die Young, Brush Your Bittersweet Shoulders Off, We Are Complicated)

#best songs of the decade #music

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oldmilfenjoyer · 4 years

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revamp of hot celeb goss as entitties

Last time my post didn’t show in the tag so I threatened to revamp it and add ******* ****** ** ****** ****. Anyways there’s been quite frankly too many pandemic pregnancies. Still not touching t*yl*r sw*ft or b*y*nc*/j*y-z/k*nye goss & warning for mentions of drugs, sex, cults, gross stuff involving dogs, and a weird kink I think that’s it?

The Lonely:

neil gaiman left his WIFE and CHILD during the pandemic

in honor of Petey Lukas: billie eilish’s parents were gentrifiers and got fucked up by the 2008 housing crisis HA (also they helped commit money laundering that the FBI later investigated)

The Flesh:

the catering of the new power rangers movie being just “a pile of coke w a little spoon” to quote

The Corruption:

as the only tma entity w horny eps corruption gets the timothee chalamet/sprouse twins/eddie redmayne chlamydia saga they’re the origins of chlamydia in new york. have any of them done the treatment for it yet who knows

chris pratt, elizabeth moss, justin bieber, the kardashians, and idk who else are all in the Hillsong cult (the kardashians may not be in it anymore tho?)

also will and jada smith are probs ex scientologists given their hard core mentioning of scientology in past interviews so they get blacklisted by the cult (side note thanks will for bearding jada for all these years + they have an open relationship)

jameela jamil vs bee (every version)

so many celebs have lyme disease despite not living on the east coast but I’m specifying yolanda + bella + anwar hadid bc yolanda wrote a whole ass book abt it. also j biebs did live in Canada so maybe but also considering the timing, drug stuff, and him also writing a book Makes You Think 👀👀👀👀👀…

The Slaughter:

mitskis dad is a cia agent and probs def a war criminal

I think the exact wording from theocseason4’s blog is: “zoey deschanel sings quietly during sex and will not stop if asked”

The Dark:

Kerry Washington ultimate fake relationship w her husband they don’t even LIVE TOGETHER

jessica biel’s gay but specifically the photo of a woman grabbing jessica biel’s ass while justin timberlake is standing in front of her not looking

The End:

I don’t care about the YT shane/tati/jeffree/that other one (john?) gossip I really don’t there’s so much more interesting goss out there so I Do Not See It 🙄🙄🙄 that being said sh*n* d*ws*n poop knife

also jeffree said he lets his dog lick his teeth every night before going to sleep bc dog saliva has “anti aging properties”

also also on dogs: influencer Caroline Calloway’s dog shit on her bed once before a party and instead of cleaning it up she put the sheets in her OVEN. idk who you are but caroline you HAVE the money for laundry detergent.

The Desolation:

almost all the glee celebs being in that one sex club it makes me want to scream who looks at lea michele and has like. Any positive emotions. also the implications of a whole circle of Hollywood having a glee kink.

that one sub on theocseason4’s blog abt lea cutting off a chick’s hair @ a sleepover when they were in middle school or smthg bc of theater drama competition

also the lea michele is illiterate video series Makes You Think 👀👀👀👀👀…

The Hunt:

ok…did john hamm haze a dude to death. did lady Gaga kill that chick and steal her identity. how involved were the Olsen twins (coke dealer) in heath ledger dying in Mary Kate’s apartment.

The Eye:

however jonny depp absolutely killed joaquin phoenixs brother.

george clooney married amal clooney to get a leg up in eventually running for president. also they’re secret divorced.

angelina jolie being v vocal about pegging her bf

on that note this isn’t goss but I just want to know what’s going on with the danai gurira/lupita nyongo/tessa thompson/janelle monae love quadrangle

The Web:

shakira evades spanish taxes.

this isn’t a conspiracy the queen definitely orchestrated princess diana’s death. also meghan and harry leaving the royal family for a netflix or amazon deal that’s going to get them $$$$$$$$$.

I lied I’m bringing t*yl*r sw*ft in. I’m not a swiftie and I refuse to get involved w swift discourse. but taylor in 50 years will be remembered for being The Beard for fake dating closeted gay celebs (ex tom hiddleston, joe alwyn, joe jonas, I cant remember who else) and also for giving everyone involved hella publicity

The Vast:

bella thorne getting carded when she didn’t have her ID, asking the bartender “don’t you recognize me”, him saying no, her exiting stage left

The Buried:

the jameela jamil munchausen theories (sorry jameela but like…the cancer thing)

I’ll say one thing about b*y*nc*/j*y-z and that is beyonce and jay-z had separate security teams in the met gala 2014 elevator

The Stranger:

this isn’t gossip. please look at a time lapse of ariana grandes eyebrows WHERES she putting her forehead.

whatever tf yolanda hadid is doing w gigi and bella in like general. also one of them is experiencing major nose bridge collapse bc of all the plastic surgery but I can’t remember which.

brie larson staging whole foods paparazzi pics w her (fake) bf. like we know all pap pics are fake but staging whole foods/ trader joes pics?? why??

Dailymail lily james post where she’s in the park CLEARLY snorting smthg but the article’s like “aaw she has allergies”

The Spiral:

me writing this post TWICE

Bonus Extinction:

the absolute worst goss: Freddie Prinze Jr, husband of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, has a diaper kink and she, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, changes his diapers.

#the magnus archives #*redacted* is the last one bc it's the Worst One #gross stuff involving dogs isnt like. Gross Stuff it's like. dog tongues and dog shit.#huh

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bwoaikkonen · 5 years

Note

How about 8, 19 an 21?

Sorry I only just saw this!

8) Three songs that remind you most of summer and vacation

The Summer by Josh Pyke - The title kinda says it all really

Nice For What by Drake - I had this on repeat last summer, reminds me of bbq’s in the park and lazy days

Indoor Recess by Jack & Jack - This reminds me of those days in September where you’re back at school but you’ll randomly get those really warm days, like the remnants of summer

19) Three songs that are your guilty pleasure

Told You So by HRVY - It’s such cheesy pop but I can’t help bopping along to it whenever it comes on

One Time by Justin Bieber - I love old-school Biebs and I’m not ashamed of it

It Won’t Kill Ya by The Chainsmokers ft. Louane - I feel like it’s very uncool to like The Chainsmokers but I do anyway

21) Three songs of your childhood

Beat Again by JLS - This was the first song I ever bluetoothed to my first ever phone, I felt so cool then wow

Message In A Bottle by The Police - I used to listen to my dad’s old cassette player in the car when I was younger and this was my favourite song out of all of the tapes I had

I Get Around by The Beach Boys - I grew up on this sort of music and I still love it

Thanks for the ask, I really enjoyed doing this!

“the three songs” ask set

#reversetappen #ask

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katherynhudsoncharity · 5 years

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Commentaires (22)

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porntostars2 le 23/05/2018

perfect

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coco le 23/07/2018

hum tu m,excite trop

porntostars2 le 09/08/2018

à attacher et à enculer

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aliceinwonderlandgags13 le 27/09/2018

24/7 0044+(0)1892891450 and cellphone 0044+(0)7950258026 My voicebox fell out and got stuck in my throat I could not breathe started to black out after an epileptic fit of laughter after supermodel taylor 13 told me to #speaknow and I opened up a landline number for Alison Hathor-Sekhmet and there was a fault and the telephone company rang me and my daughter Goddess Queen Persephone was tucking her old man into bed with @LizaSwift photo on my bedside table to try and mind read what my @KillaQueenSwift got up to in Are You Ready for it middle of the night dreams and I had to talk in a high pitch voice like a tranie eunuch and I said I was Alice in Wonderland as I made Taylor Aphrodite goddess of love, beauty and sex and Persephone turns humans crazy with a beauty greater than Aphrodite and my daughter reads my mind and said @MarquessdaDaDa YOU NAUGHTY OLD PERVERT AS I WONDERED IF READING TAYTAYS MIND WAS A GOOD IDEA WHAT IF SHE GETS UP FOR A NIGHTIME PEE AND MY PYJAMAS SUDDENLY WENT DAMP I HAVE BEEN CELIBATE FOR 10 YEARS AND I USUALLY ATTRACT LESBIAN BI'S AND I GAVE UP MIND READING WHEN MARRIED TO KATY PERRY SHE ATTRACTS BLACK MONSTER COCKS 2 AT A TIME AND I ONCE WENT TO A PORN SITE TO SEE IT MY IDOL TAY EVER DID TOPLESS AND FOUND 2 PICS ON THE DARK NET OF MY WIFE GIVING A BIG STALLION HORSE A BLOWJOB AND PENETRATING HER AND IN NEARLY 5 YEARS OF MARRIAGE SHE NEVER EVEN LET ME TOUCH HER BUT USED TO SEND ME SEXY SEMI NAKED SELFIES FROM HER HOTEL SUITES WEARING 6 INCH LABOUTIN'S AND PRADA AND DOLCE & GABBANA AND VERSACE IN AMERICA REGULAR AND I HAVE WRITTEN THE BASSLINES AND DRUMBEATS FOR PRISM AND WITNESS AND GOT HER THE 2015 SUPERBOWL HALF TIME GIG AND I AM THE ONLY WHITE WRAPPER IN @WUTANGCLAN I INVENTED THE GREAT ROCK N ROLL SWINDLE SEX PISTOLS AND PUNK ROCK AND MANAGED EARLY DAVID JONES WHO WENT ONTO BECOME DAVID BOWIE THEN I THOUGHT HOW IS SHE TAKING HER SELFIES AND IN FRONT OF A MIRROR I ZOOMED IN AND THERE WAS ORLANDO BLOOM A PAEDOPHILE MK ULTRA DIAMOND BETA SEX KITTEN PROGRAM HANDLER MASTURBATING HIS 2 INCH COCK WITH MY WIFE'S IPHONE IN THE MIRROR REFLECTION SO BROKEN HEARTED I RANG RIRI'S EX MY BF AND AS BLOOMS MUM LIVES 20 MILES AWAY FROM US I ASKED IF HE KNEW BLOOM AND HE GOT A GCHQ MI5 REPORT AND SAID HE WAS AN ALCOHOLIC SMACK HEAD WHO HAD HEPATITUS B AND HIV POS + FROM SHARING DIRTY NEEDLES IN HOLLYWOOD PUBLIC TOILETS WHERE HE WAS A GAY RENT BOY DOING UNPROTECTED ANAL DPS FOR SKAG BAGS FIXES AND HE WAS A DWARF CALLED PRINCE OF ELVES IN THE HOBBIT FILMS AND WAS MARRIED RECENTLY TO A HAS BEEN POP SINGER CALLED KATHERYN ELIZABETH HUDSON IN A PASSPORT SCAM IN PRAGUE AND HIS EX WIFE DIVORCED HIM FOR HAVING SEX WITH THEIR 7 YEAR OLD SON AND HAS A NEW YORK FLAT IN THE SAME BLOCK AS TAYLOR SWIFT IN NEW YORK AND JUSTIN BIEBER BEAT HIM UP IN AN LA RESTAURANT AFTER BLOOM WENT FOR HIM AFTER BIEBS BEDDED BLOOMS SUPERMODEL WIFE MIRANDA KERR (WHO IS ALSO MY DAUGHTER) AND JUST REMARRIED THE WHATSAPP CREATOR WHO AT THE END OF THE HONEYMOON SOLD IT FOR 7 BILLION DOLLARS TO MY SECRET SOCIETY FRIEND MARK ZUCKERBERGER AND BROKE BLOOM WHO SELLS HIS BODY FOR BOTTLE MONEY TO FEED HIS ALCOHOL ADDICTION AND THIS KATY HUDSON HAD COMPLAINED HER LOVE KORLANDO KABLOOM LATY BUBBADOO NEVER HAD ANY MONEY TO PAY TO WINE AND DINE HER HAVING FLOWN HIM TO ASPEN, CHILE, CANNES, SARDINIA, MALDIVES, NEW YORK, HAWAII, MEXICO, PRAGUE, PARIS, LONDON, TOKYO, BEIJING TO HOLLYWOOD LIFE SO KATY HAD TO PAY HIM $25 MILLION AFTER THEY GOT PAPPED BY LONG RANGE TELESCOPIC LENS ON A PADDLEBOARD WITH BLOOM STICKING HIS COCK IN KATY'S MOUTH IN THE MEDITERRANEAN SEA WHEN HE HAD CONTAGIOUS STAGE TERTIARY GONNEREAH AND THREATENED TO SEND THE NEGATIVES TO KATY'S HUSBAND IF SHE DID NOT BUY THEM FOR £25MILLION CASH WHO WAS AN EX TOP GUN RAF FIGHTER PILOT AND STILL IN THE PARACHUTE REGIMENT OF THE FRENCH FOREIGN LEGION AS A RESERVE AND IN 1985 WAS AWARDED THE HIGHEST FRENCH ARMY MEDAL LEGION D'HONNEUR FOR KILLING 148 CENTRAL AMERICAN GUERILLAS BEAR HANDED A DOUBLE BLACK BELT KUNG FU INSTRUCTOR OF THE SHAOLIN TEMPLE WHO 1983-87 REIGNED SUPREME AS THE BEST SHOT IN THE FRENCH ARMY 5 YEARS ON THE TROT WITH HIS SNIPER DESTRUCTEUR FR F1 7.6MM SHARPSHOOTER RIFLE WHERE HE CAN TAKE OUT AN EYEBALL FROM 1000 METERS AND WAS RUMORED TO HAVE BLOWN UP 300 IRAQI TANKS ON THE FRONTLINE OF THE OPERATION DESSERT STORM IN THE FIRST GULF WAR AFTER THE LEGION PARAS SPECIAL FORCES PARACHUTED BEHIND ENEMY LINES AND BEAT WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION BOXER JOHN CONTEH BY A KNOCKOUT IN ROUND 1 OF A CHARITY FUNDRAISER AND IS LICENCE A TUE (LICENCED TO KILL) AND HIS BIO OF PAST GIRLFRIEND INCLUDES THE COUNTESS OF WESSEX, CAMERON DIAZ, MEG RYAN, PRINCESS STEPHANIE OF MONACO, VANESSA PARADIS, ANNA FRIEL, MADONNA, BEYONCE, RHIANNA AND HAD A PARIS APPARTMENT WHERE MADONNA LIVED BEFORE SHE BECAME FAMOUS AND NICOLE SHERZINGER, KATE MOSS, CLAUDIA SCHAFFER, NAOMI CAMPBELL, KARLIE KLOSS, JODIE FOSTER AND HIS FRENCH PASSPORT IS SAWDY 'TAYLOR' AFTER HE CHANGED HIS NAME IN HONOR OF HIS IDOL SINGER SONGWRITER TAYLOR SWIFT WHOM HE VOWED TO MARRY IF HE EVER MET AND STALKS HER ON SOCIAL MEDIA AND CLAIMS HE WOULD DIE FOR HER HE LOVES HER SO MUCH AND SAID SHE IS PRETTIER THAN ANY OF HIS PREVIOUS GIRLS IN A PARIS MATCH EXCLUSIVE WITH HIS SISTER QUEEN OF FASHN KATHARINE HAMNETT @LAHamnett VIDEO DIRECTOR GRAMMY WINNER FOR BON JOVI AND YOU WERE A LEGIONNAIRE JOHN DID YOU KNOW HIM HE SOUNDS LIKE A PREMIER LEAGUE SUPERMAN HIS BF IS CRISTIANO RONALDO WHO SAYS HE IS A BETTER FOOTBALLER THAN HIM OMG LORD PADLEY KNOW HIM, IAM HIM I NEVER MENTION MY BIO I REMAIN MODEST AND HUMBLE BUT I AM GONNA RID MYSELF OF THE KILLER QUEEN AND PUT ON BAD BLOOD FULL VOLUME AND TELL TAYGOD 'I'M READY FOR IT, DOES IT HURT, IS IT FREE AND RING ME I FELL IN LOVE WITH HER ON FIRST SIGHT AND I HAVE PUT A $1,000,000 CONTRACT OUT FOR A KATY LOOSE HEAD BATHED IN ACID SO NO ONE HAS TO KNOW AND SHH I AM BIGGER DOWNSTAIRS THAN KATY'S DARK HORSE STALLION 11 INCHES NORMAL GOD KNOWS WHAT IT WILL DO ON MY TAYGODS HONEYMOON NIGHT CAN TAY PACK HER FUJI INSTANT POLAROID CAMERA AND GIVE ME A GAG ON A PADDLEBOARD AND SHOW ME INCREDIBLE THINGS I WILL GIVE HER THE WORLD HONESTLY.

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John Rumary le 27/09/2018

The Worshipful Household Artillery company guarded Royal fan club blog in honour of Sophie Rhys Jones 'Queen of Brenchley and Horsmonden Gun and Spitroast Inn' SS secret society formed 33AD to guard the throne of King of Kent Joseph of Arimethea on behalf of Jesus Christ of Nazareth for his birthday present on the 4th of April Easter Sunday 2019 when GOD will descend from heaven to launch the second coming of Jesus Christ of Palestine the King of Kent JesusMessiahZeus Gorgas Zeus head gardener of the New Jerusalem the garden of England and guardian of the Katy Apple tree of knowledge Bulmer Zeus Abbot of Bayham Abbey

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aliceinwonderlandgags13 le 01/10/2018

POSTS TSCTUKNET 13 ARCHIVE

DON’T LET THEM RAISE YOUR CHILDREN! (EDUCATION 2017)

image

@taylorswift @taylorswift13love Your majesty King of the Illuminati Jesus Christ Superstar ‘GODFATHER has made you the @illuminatizeitgeist @goddesshathorswift and the statue of liberty is now the Goddess Nemesis with @selenagomezgif-blog-blog as the blue flame of the torch of liberty to light up the dark of New York welcome 2 #1 track 1989 @1989 Album of the Century share and circulate please

love dad

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aliceinwonderlandgags13 le 01/10/2018

POSTS TSCTUKNET 13 ARCHIVE

DON’T LET THEM RAISE YOUR CHILDREN! (EDUCATION 2017)

image

love dad

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aliceinwonderlandgags13 le 02/10/2018

Play Video

Self-described feminists Emma Watson, Katy Perry, and Sophie Turner team up to engage in hardcore sex in the feminist music video above.

After pushing around the pathetically emasculated infidel men for decades, the feminist movement in the Western world achieved complete equality of rights back in the late 1960’s. Of course being women they were not happy with equality, and wanted to keep complaining until they had every privilege in society. With the effeminate kuffar men powerless to stop them, modern feminists like Emma, Katy, and Sophie degraded the West to the point were they now can claim that being tremendous whores getting plowed by strange dick on the regular is empowering.

Thankfully the logical conclusion of the feminist movement will be the calling for Sharia law. For once women have every conceivable freedom and are openly indulging in every imaginable vice they will realize how empty and unfulfilled their lives are, and they will demand the one and only true woman’s right… Which is of course the right to be oppressed by a powerful and virile Muslim man.

http://aliceinwonderlandgags13.centerblog.net

aliceinwonderlandgags13 le 02/10/2018

Play Video

Self-described feminists Emma Watson, Katy Perry, and Sophie Turner team up to engage in hardcore sex in the feminist music video above.

After pushing around the pathetically emasculated infidel men for decades, the feminist movement in the Western world achieved complete equality of rights back in the late 1960’s. Of course being women they were not happy with equality, and wanted to keep complaining until they had every privilege in society. With the effeminate kuffar men powerless to stop them, modern feminists like Emma, Katy, and Sophie degraded the West to the point where they now can claim that being tremendous whores getting plowed by strange dick on the regular is empowering.

http://aliceinwonderlandgags13.centerblog.net

aliceinwonderlandgags13 le 02/10/2018

Play Video

Self-described feminists Emma Watson, Katy Perry, and Sophie Turner team up to engage in hardcore sex in the feminist music video above.

http://aliceinwonderlandgags13.centerblog.net

katyperrypute666 le 02/11/2018

[Act 1 scene 222:] Enter PA to Apollo: KATHERYN ELIZABETH II HUDSON KATY PERRY III

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fakesetcumfakes le 04/11/2018

en exclu, katy perry & britney spears sont nues ensemble ...

http://fakesetcumfakes.centerblog.net

Anonyme le 07/12/2018

J aimerai tellement voire ca face recouverte de mon foutre.

porntostars2 le 22/12/2018

Reviendra tu un jour ?

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lescoquinesdecoquin le 27/02/2019

A quand les nouveaux articles mon ami ?

katyperry666pute le 01/04/2019

: http://ktperry.centerblog.net/4327-Katy-Perry

http://katyperry666pute.centerblog.net

porntostars2 le 08/04/2019

une bombe sexuelle , dommage tu a abandonner ton blog

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Anonyme le 05/05/2019

branle moi katty,

https://twitter.com/i/redirect?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Fi%2Ftopics%2Ftweet%2F1125630359905783808%3Fcn%3DZmxleGlibGVfcmVjc18y%26refsrc%3Demail&t=1+1557251470571&cn=ZmxleGlibGVfcmVjc18y&sig=2ed63432355fcf82ad97c34aaecec2dbbdff47ec&iid=b15a250476a849ada7ab77c1254521f0&uid=2903768627&nid=244+272699392

Tuesday, 26 March 2019

HOT!!! Katty Perry [Katheryn Elizabeth "Katy" Hudson]

2 notes · View notes

bobbystompy · 7 years

Text

My Top 120 Songs Of 2017

Previously: 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011

The one saving grace is we do have 12 fewer than last year.

As always, criteria and info:

This is a list of what I personally like, not ones I’m saying are the “best” from the year; more subjective than objective

No artist is featured more than once

If it comes down to choosing between two songs for an artist, I try to give more weight to a single or featured track; not the ultimate factor, but it typically makes sharing the music easier

Speaking of… each song on the list is linked in the title if you wanna check any or every out for yourself

Oh, also, off the suggestion of Mike Gilkes -- and a few others -- I made this whole thing into a Spotify playlist, which you can peep here (includes 114 of the 120):

Let’s go?

youtube

120) Big Sean & Metro Boomin f/ 21 Savage - “Pull Up N Wreck”

Some mediocre, listenable rap made by dudes who know a bit better (well, at least 2/3rds of them).

119) Maroon 5 f/ Future - “Cold”

This song makes me feel mostly nothing... but the first minute of the video does have some solid Adam Levine alone-in-the-car acting.

/oh my god it has 119 million views

This was a lot easier to enjoy when I assumed it went unnoticed. Bonus points for the Wu-Tang shirt at the end.

118) Bleachers - “Hate That You Know Me”

Closed out 2017 undecided as ever on one Jack Antonoff. Should we hate him for dating Lena Dunham? Somehow respect him more? Give him mega credit for his big time pop songwriting collabs? Or is that a ding? Is he a nerd or the coolest guy in the cocktail bar? I do not know the answers to any of these questions, and this song is merely OK.

UPDATE: THEY GAWN

117) B.o.B f/ T.I. & Ty Dolla $ign - “4 Lit”

Real bad song with a mindless/terrible/misogynistic chorus. Yet... something about professional musicians sitting in a room and coming up with “4 Lit” as some sort of escalated to catchphrase to “lit” is just hilarious.

116) Prophets of Rage - “Unfuck The World”

Sure, this hits a lot of the same beats as Rage Against The Machine’s “Sleep Now In The Fire” from 18 years ago, but in these increasingly polarized, political times, I welcome their voice.

115) Kacy Hill - “Like A Woman”

This song is so chill and ethereal that it seems almost unfeasible for my punk/hip-hop/XX chromosome havin’ ass to completely sync with its wave.

114) The Decemberists - “Ben Franklin’s Song”

What happens when pop indie teams up with the lyrical stylings of Lin-Manuel Miranda? Well, this. I’m not sure if The Decemberists drop f-bombs in any of their other songs, but it pleases me to think it only happened here.

113) Offset & Metro Boomin - “Ric Flair Drip”

Mostly here for the beat.

112) Hurray For The Riff Raff - “Hungry Ghost”

A cool song that’s hard to put into a box. Indie? Pop? Rock? Forget labels, just enjoy.

(Minus a few points for the low hanging “girl/world” rhyme)

111) Wavves - “Dreams Of Grandeur”

I was pretty let down by the new Wavves LP, but this song sounds enough like the old stuff to be a net positive (despite being, like, 70 seconds too long)

110) Culture Abuse - “So Busted”

Culture Abuse got on my radar with last year’s all-timer, “Dream On”. It was an unrelenting, robotic pulverization. “So Busted” is more of a drug comedown; a ballad, even. While “Dream On” wanted to seek you out and kill you like a terminator; “So Busted” just wants a cuddle.

109) Trey Songz - “#1Fan”

This song is so dumb and funny and pseudo competent. Really not sure how the R&B guys get away with this shit.

108) The Killers - “The Man”

Is this in a movie? It should be in a movie. It’s kind of, like, a better version of what Arcade Fire has been trying to be.

107) New Lenox - “Protest Sweater”

A good song for the ending 2017 -- or any year, really -- and its run time (1:30) would make Joyce Manor proud.

106) Logic - “Everybody”

This is really good, but it reminds me so much of Kendrick that it becomes distracting.

105) Gorillaz f/ DRAM - “Andromeda”

Didn’t spend enough time listening to the new Gorillaz record, but I actually put the blame on them: it was long, man. So while I woulda loved to pick one of the songs with a cool cameo (hi, Vince Staples!), this is the one I actually had around the most. It’s all we’ve come to expect from this cartoon band -- kinda British, kinda futuristic, very undisturbed. Also, if it gets you back to the album before me, I heard that Damon Albarn told all collaborating artists to record their parts like the world was ending tomorrow.

104) Dropkick Murphys - “Blood”

If you know me at all, you know I historically have not been a fan of this band. But for whatever reason, this one connected -- bagpipes and all.

103) Captain, We’re Sinking - “Books”

CWS was never, ever going to top the falling-apart-desperation of 2013′s “The Future Is Cancelled”, but this song comes pleasantly close.

102) IRONTOM - “Be Bold Like Elijah”

My buddy Crooks rec’d this band, and the guitars give me Queens Of The Stone Age vibes in the best possible way. A bio on lastFM compared them to Arctic Monkeys, and you know what? I agree with that, too.

101) Jidenna - “A Bull’s Tale”

This song feels primed to explode and makes you wanna rip the shirt off your chest; only we don’t know if the bomb’s gonna blow in the middle or at the end.

100) Jeff Tweedy - “I Am Trying To Break Your Heart”

Yeah yeah, the original version of this dropped in 2002, and yes, it’s just a cover by the dude who originally sang it. I... do not care. It made me appreciate the confessional regret all over again.

99) Talib Kweli f/ Yummy Bingham & Jay Electronica - “All Of Us”

It was all bad just a week ago

Kweli and Jay Elect are a collab made in conscious rap heaven, so this song was more than a pleasant surprise.

98) Rise Against - “House On Fire”

This song could have been on “Revolutions Per Minute”. Or maybe I’m just saying that because of the hand grenade lyric in the chorus.

97) HAIM - “Want You Back”

Can’t imagine there being a lamer song on this list. HAIM and Bleachers should get in a wuss rock beef that ends with pistols.

96) The Bigger Empty - “By Its Own (So What)”

My producer plays bass in this band. This song is super solid, and, maybe most importantly in these completely divisive times, unoffensive and approachable. Kinda Hush Sound-y.

95) Little Big Town - “Lost In California” (note: link is to live version)

From the bros and broettes who brought us “Day Drinking” comes this much more subdued track. If you squint, it doesn’t really even seem like country. Granted, if they sang “Alabama” instead of “California”, you could probably call that claim out immediately.

94) Lana Del Rey - “Heroin”

Another beautiful/dreamy song from an artist who’s near-perfected that niche.

93) Wavves & Culture Abuse - “Up And Down”

Wavves and Culture Abuse have already made appearances on this list, and we haven’t even cracked the Top 80. Fortunately, their collaboration scored a little higher than their individual outputs. Shout out to their uplifting outro “I’ll just get high and I’ll die alone”.

92) The Chainsmokers & Coldplay - “Something Just Like This”

This song played at my gym all the time, and I was positive it was Coldplay. Then someone told me it was The Chainsmokers. Then I looked it up on YouTube, and it says “The Chainsmokers & Coldplay”... so what’s the deal, assholes?

91) Lil Peep f/ Lil Tracy - “Awful Things”

I hadn’t heard of Lil Peep when I found out of his passing in 2017. After looking up some pictures, I was nearly 100% positive his music was not for me. This was incorrect. I haven’t really listened to songs that sound like his; it’s kind of like rap that treads this line of being bad while also kinda sounding like alternative rock; destructive love song that doesn’t flinch.

90) AFI - “Dark Snow”

Nothing new, but Davey Havok can still sing circles around almost anybody.

89) Dashboard Confessional - “Love Yourself” (link is to live, partial version)

Well, Dashboard covered Biebs, and we all lived to tell the tale.

88) Garrett Dale - “2016 Was...”

This song would be a blast as a singalong in a late night hotel room. There’s something calming about celebrating -- or at least acknowledging -- everything sucking.

87) Katy Perry f/ Skip Marley - “Chained To The Rhythm”

Got more than a few issues with this song, but it’s catchy, so they’re mostly forgiven. Even though it’s Katy Perry, I was pretty surprised to see it racked up 444 million views.

And seriously who the hell is Skip Marley?!

86) The Ramblin’ Boys Of Pleasure - “Glug, Glug, Glug”

Now is probably a good time to plug the lead track from my band’s b-sides record that came out this year (ten years in the making, baby!). Mandatory listening if you’ve ever bonged brandy, partied in Champaign, or counted down in a country voice.

85) Charly Bliss - “Glitter”

It’s been nearly a year, but it’s still somewhat difficult to calibrate this singer’s voice. Is it a little too saccharine, too childlike, or just perfect? You be the judge.

84) Emperor X - “Wasted On The Senate Floor”

This singer is real god damn frenetic.

83) Father John Misty - “Total Entertainment Forever”

/obligatory “yes, this is the one with the Taylor Swift lyric” reference

FJM has such a pro’s pro voice and makes super sound music... but it’s also kinda hard to have an overall opinion. The more 50-50 I get, the more I think it’s not all that great. The video is a microcosm. Like... why is Macaulay Culkin paying Cobain? Is this a commentary on capitalism? Oooh, nah nah nahs are nice! As divided as I still am, I’m pretty positive this song is good-if-not-great.

82) St. Vincent - “New York”

This song is further proof that soft, radio friendly music can still benefit from a well placed “motherfucker”.

81) Andrew McMahon In The Wilderness - “Dead Man’s Dollar”

As long as Andrew McMahon’s project is called “Andrew McMahon In the Wilderness”, I will make fun of him like clockwork.

This song is nice. I sometimes sing “I want Thon Maker” when he says “I want to make a” in the chorus.

80) Kele Okereke - “Streets Been Talkin’”

Kele’s most impressive feat was sneaking “bae” right into the chorus without me noticing until literally right now.

79) Rick Ross - “Summer Seventeen”

How the hell did this dumbass song get so high up on the list? I have no explanation. Classic Roazy though -- aim high, fake it till you make it. When I started my new job in August, IT reset my password to “summer2017″, and I had this song’s hook in my head nearly every time I typed it in. All told, a pretty hilarious way to start a work day.

78) Michelle Branch - “Best You Ever”

This song sounds so dark and sultry, but I’m not totally sure why. Branch rules.

77) Calvin Harris f/ Pharrell Williams, Katy Perry & Big Sean - “Feels”

The best way to ruin this song for anyone is to point out how much the hook sounds like Katy Perry singing “Don’t be afraid to catch fish”.

76) Morrissey - “Spent The Day In Bed”

This is a very low maintenance lyric video. So you can either make fun of that or the “I spent the day in bed / I’m not the type, but I love my bed” line.

75) Red City Radio - “If You Want Blood (Be My Guest)”

The “We don’t need a god damn thing from you” chorus is a little punk cliche to win me over, but the Oklahoma City reference (”where our dreams come true and die”) is the line I’ve been waiting for since I found out RCR was from there.

74) Sam Coffey & The Iron Lungs - “Talk 2 Her”

The closest we’ll get to a new Clash song in 2017.

73) Bad Cop/Bad Cop - “Womanarchist”

Factoring in the 2017′s themes (#MeToo, Harvey dead, etc.), this has to be the song title of the year. I smiled ear-to-ear watching this music video.

72) The Movielife - “Mercy Is Asleep At The Wheel”

Hey, The Movielife reunited!

71) The Rocket Summer - “Gone Too Long”

Unlike that lazy ass Morrissey, The Rocket Summer gave us a lyric video that basically passes as a legit music video.

70) Miguel f/ Travis Scott - “Sky Walker”

Me, every time I listen to this song:

“Ooh, beat is pretty solid.”

“Ah yeah, the hook’s good. I thought I really liked this song though...”

/falsetto part

“AW YEAH.”

69) Queens Of The Stone Age - “The Way You Used To Do”

Had never known about the Josh Homme/Elvis comparisons, but after hearing this, I totally get it now. Also: god damn it, man.

68) Macklemore f/ Skylar Grey - “Glorious”

What can we do to make Skylar Grey more famous? She Ginger Rogers’d for Em on “SNL” -- seriously, she played piano and sung Dido, Beyoncé, and Rihanna hooks (that’s a solid ass trinity!) -- has unarguably awesome songs, and never takes anything off the table. I honestly don’t care if she has another hit... let’s just, like, all Venmo her five bucks or something.

One of my fav music videos on the list so far. Be as skeptical of Macklemore as you want, but when his grandma offers him a drink (haha) then says she wants to “do it all” with their day together, it warms the hearts.

67) Direct Hit! - “Blood On Your Tongue”

Direct Hit! continues to be the best modern version of Green Day, The Ramones*, and themselves.

(* - without being Ramones-core)

66) Boyd & The Stahfools - “Party Penguin”

I’ve been in the game for a long while, but, for the first time in my career, I finally was part of a music video. If you told me it was a 2Pac parody that advertised craft beer, I’d, well, I’d believe you. We got Dave Hernandez on the hook, Mike Healy as Dr. Dre, and yours truly as Makaveli.

youtube

And all jokes aside, “On vacation like Bev D’Angelo” is one of my favorite penned lines.

65) Rancid - “Telegraph Avenue”

I like when Tim sings about grabbing his left-handed guitar.

64) Big Sean f/ Jeremih - “Light”

Sean Don made a forgettable 2017 album with many throwaway tracks -- but “Light” ain’t one of ‘em. I liked this song even before the touching video cemented its power.

63) blink 182 - “Parking Lot”

This is that weird mix of what makes all new blink really good and really eh at the same time -- Skiba involved (for better or worse), inspired Mark (for better or worse), and Travis’ overplaying (for better or worse). It’s for sure easier if you just turn your brain off and go with it.

Why does he reference Chicago in the verse then California in the pre-chorus?

I SAID “OFF”.

62) New Found Glory - “Your Jokes Aren’t Funny”

This song doesn’t break a ton of new ground, but it’s got this circular, easy chorus that keeps me coming back.

61) Teenage Bottlerocket - “Goin’ Back To Wyo”

Similar to Red City Radio writing about OKC, I can’t get enough of TB writing about their home. Did I blast this song while driving across the entire state alone this summer? Do you know me an ounce?

60) Frank Turner - “The Sand In The Gears”

A little dissatisfied with the current administration? Frank may be from across the pond, but he’s with you on this one, man. One of my favorite parts of this song is when he breaks the rhyme scheme just to angrily say “I thought that we were winning the war against the homophobes and the racists”.

59) Billy Bragg - “Not Everything That Counts Can Be Counted”

Billy Bragg is here for all of us, with perspective, wisdom, and insightful guidance in tow.

58) Dave Hause - “The Flinch”

Send this one to an old flame if you’re hoping, you know, to maybe rekindle.

57) Selena Gomez f/ Gucci Mane - “Fetish”

That’s right -- “Bad Liar” got beat out by this significantly less popular single featuring one of my least favorite rappers.

/looks up play totals

”Fetish”... 130 million

“Bad Liar”... 214 million

Comparably popular, I say! For me, this one is all about the chorus -- and that beat’ll get you swayin’.

56) Jay Electronica - “Letter To Falon”

‘Cause who gon’ save them babies? / And finally put a definite to all those maybes

Death, taxes, maybe death again, and Jay Electronica never releasing a full length album. Our man has been on Roc Nation for nearly ten years. I hate him so much. /anxiously awaits his next move

Jay Electricity in his zone on this one; so comfortable, in full operation within the confines.

55) Laura Jane Grace - “Adore”

I don’t know who Amy Shark is, but LJG covered her song and punted my heart into Lake Michigan.

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54) Russian Girlfriends - “Antidote”

Upbeat, direct song that starts kinda Metric-y with the riff but then gets more pop punk as it progresses.

53) Brian Fallon - “If Your Prayers Don’t Get To Heaven”

My fiancee laughed when I looked up how to play this song on the guitar and the guy who tabbed it out wrote “Typical Brian Fallon open chords” in the intro.

52) Cloud Nothings - “Enter Entirely”

If “Womanarchist” is the ‘best’ song title of the year, “Enter Entirely” is certainly the coolest. And please don’t let the very boring music video fool you -- this song gets after it, man. If you are a fan of rock music, it would blow me away if you found this song remotely objectionable.

(After seeing CN open for Japandroids on back-to-back nights this November, it feels criminal to have such a slow song represent the band, as their drummer is the Russell Westbrook of the indie scene. That dude does not tire and comes off as more machine than man.)

51) Conor Oberst - “Napalm”

Oberst released a 10-song album in 2016 that was super brooding and piano-y... then he released another album in 2017 (17 songs) that had every track from his previous record and seven new ones. Kind of a weird move, no? This is one of those seven; suffice to say it’s a little more upbeat.

50) Sorority Noise - “No Halo”

You could tell me this song came out in 2002, 2007, or both -- but not 2017. How is this not a time capsuled rival of Taking Back Sunday or My Chemical Romance? I don’t know, but if you like a lot of death, this one’s for you.

49) N.E.R.D f/ Rihanna - “Lemon”

Let’s lighten the mood back up with some RiRi rap. My buddy Crooks’ take: “That's how every 2017 hip-hop beat should sound.”

48) Kesha - “Praying”

It’s damn near impossible to talk about this song without talking about The Note. It occurs at 4:21, and it will make you a little faint.

Kesha dusts herself off and gets beyond empowered in this one. This song could legitimately soundtrack the entire #MeToo movement. When the drums kick in halfway through, you’ll be ready to fight back too.

When I’m finished, they won’t even know your name

47) The Smith Street Band - “Laughing (Or Pretending To Laugh)”

This soft, hopeful love song is almost *too* respectful when it comes to interactions with the opposite sex. I’m not sure there’s a more endearing 2017 lyric than “And I don't wanna marry you just yet / But at least let me get you a cider / And I don’t even think I’d have to pay for it / Hopefully there’s a couple left on the rider”.

46) Run The Jewels - “Legend Has It”

Whenever I think of this song, I will always have that image of El-P holding up that gun to the bunny’s head. This song is braggadocious, each line one-upping the previous in perpetuity. Man, they probably rule live.

45) Vic Mensa - “Say I Didn’t”

Vic Mensa's Roc Nation debut (CAN YOU HEAR ME AT ALL, JAY ELECTRONICA?!?!?!?!?!?) was real strong, and this one gives you a good taste of what he’s about. He’s intense but controlled and even gets a little soulful. And depending what sphere you come from, you’ll either be extremely more or extremely less interested after he drops a Weezer reference. If that gives you trepidation, maybe the Nate Dogg namedrop will reel you back in?

44) Kendrick Lamar - “HUMBLE.”

I like Kendrick Lamar and will always recognize his talent, platform, and body of work (there’s a real case to be made that his “Control” verse killed hip-hop, and it’s just been an animated zombie ever since). Having said that...

He doesn’t always make it easy. The all caps song titles, the weird high pitched flow, the massive reliance of “bitch” in his choruses... yet, he’s the same dude who begs for stretch marked butts and body positivity. I don’t know, man. By the time he hits the “I make a play fucking up your whole life” line, I’m nearly all the way back in.

Last complaint: that organ-y keyboard thing could be so much louder. The beat almost feels diet because of that decision.

43) PKEW PKEW PKEW - “Cold Dead Hands”

This song is about how you can’t freeze this band to death, because they’ll party their way out of the situation.

42) Weezer - “Any Friend Of Diane’s”

This song puts me in a trance; they sing the same chorus lyric a million times, and I still almost want more.

41) Taylor Swift - “I Did Something Bad”

If this song isn’t a hit in 2018, then I do not know anything. For as uneven and questionable as her new singles were, this song has none of that. By the time she’s rolling on the tremendously magnetic “over and over and over again” part, you’ll feel like it’s 2009.

Maybe the old Taylor is still alive after all.

40) Best Ex - “Someday”

What’s that, you want your pop with a lot less baggage? This song is currently at 1,042 views, which is further proof of no justice in this world. I remember grocery shopping with this in the headphones, and you woulda thought it was the happiest moment of my life by the expression on my smiling, dumb face.

39) White Reaper - “Judy French”

“There are no good new rock bands wahhhhh”

Nah -- you just suck at finding music when it’s never been easier in human history, I guess?

38) Anti-Flag - “The Criminals”

This band has always lived in this dramatic life-and-death world, and it’s been going on for so long, that it’s like their vision of what they were always rebelling against was willed into existence.

37) French Montana f/ The Weeknd & Max B - “A Lie”

My dislike of French Montana is so high that I sometimes think about having to answer for saying something heinous about him. Kinda like when Kevin Garnett was accused of calling Charlie Villanueva (who has alopecia) a “cancer patient.”

KG’s all-time response:

“I am aware there was a major miscommunication regarding something I said on the court last night. My comment to Charlie Villanueva was in fact ‘You are cancerous to your team and our league,’" Garnett said in a statement to the media on Wednesday.

Hahahaha.

French, you are a cancer to hip-hop and our league. His verse even references stupid Karl Malone, because why wouldn’t it? The good news is we have The Weeknd on the hook *and* in the first verse, so you can basically just pretend it’s his solo song with a few regrettable cameos.

36) The Penske File - “Oh Brother”

The Penske File make it look effortless sometimes. After hearing this song and doing a Malört shot with their singer, I have higher hopes than ever for their 2018 full length.

35) The Front Bottoms - “Don’t Fill Up On Chips”

TFB’s new album didn’t give me everything I wanted in terms of uptempo bangers, but the lyrics, sentiment, and craftsmanship are all still very much present.

34) Vince Staples - “Big Fish”

The Juicy J chorus might not win a Pulitzer (”I was up late night ballin’ / Countin’ up hundreds by the thousand”), but Vince is rapping invincible, and by the time the lyrics call back his monster single (“Norf Norf”), you won’t be questioning anything anymore.

33) Julien Baker - “Shadowboxing” (link is to live version)

I know that you don't understand 'Cause you don't believe what you don't see When you watch me throwing punches at the devil It just looks like I'm fighting with me

I swear, Julien Baker might be one of the only people on this planet with the power to shut us all up and listen.

32) Paramore - “Fake Happy”

Paramore is a band that does dumb shit all the time. Infighting, legal drama, horrible makeover after horrible makeover. Seriously, this is real:

But through it all, there’s that unbreakable Hayley voice, and it’s like everything is gonna be OK again. I mean, no, it’s not -- but let’s still enjoy these fleeting moments, full blown pop transition or not.

31) Nothington - “Cobblestones”

This song briefly sounds like Lucero before turning into no nonsense despair punk.

30) Lorde - “Perfect Places”

Such a phenomenal album closer; great to have her back in the pop music fold. Car, headphones, party, whatever -- this song goes all around you.

29) Remember Sports - “I Liked You Best”

If Kesha’s high note in “Praying” was pop music’s peak vocal moment in 2017, I’d like to nominate the “You made this me-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-hess” (2:37) part as punk’s.

28) Phoenix - “J-Boy”

This band makes such gorgeous music.

27) Drake - “Free Smoke” (no link)

Drake’s full album output, in minutes, for the last four years:

2013: 59 minutes 2014: N/A 2015: 108 minutes 2016: 81 minutes

And this doesn’t include stray singles, diss tracks, or cameos (2014 had “0 To 100″, for example). What I’m saying is, despite high quality material, Aubrey has saturated us with music for nearly half a decade. So even though I dig him lots, it was like “Really?!” when I heard he was releasing 2017′s “More Life” and “WHAT” when I found out it was another 81 minutes (the same length as 2016′s “Views”). Though the record is stylistically very different -- I keep hearing people use the word “grime”, though I have no idea what it means -- it’s still got bars. My favorite stray lines (they add up):

- “More life, more everything” - “I dunk text J-Lo / Old number, so it bounce back” - “Hilton rooms, gotta double up / Writin’ our name on a double cup” - “I fall asleep in sororities / I had some different priorities” - “Women I like was ignorin’ me / Now they like ‘Aren’t you adorable?’ / I know the question rhetorical” - “I make too much these days to ever say ‘Poor me’” - “I wanna move to Dubai / So I don’t never have to kick it with none of you guys”

But, it wouldn’t be Drake without making fun of him some. The song beings with, well, him sampling himself at an award show. The sample:

And more chune for your headtop So watch how you speak on my name, you know?

Which begs the question: did he do the weird Jamaican accent knowing he was gonna sample it? It treads this weird genius/calculated doofus line. All I know is it makes me laugh.

26) Tigers Jaw - “Favorite”

This song could make me pensive and unhappy on the sunniest of days.

25) Tee Grizzley - “First Day Out”

Like many, I first heard of Tee Grizzley from a LeBron James Instagram workout video. It was an easy sell: Detroit, ferocious beat, and the dude goes *hard*. I got a little too excited and emailed my hip-hop friends: “What the fuck is this? This is GOOD.”

This was before I realized he kinda sounds the same in every song. It’s no matter -- we’ll always have “First Day Out”, a brief time in June 2017 where I thought Tee Grizzley could be the next to run the game.

I can’t even be in public with my hoodie on

24) The War On Drugs - “Strangest Thing”

It’s very difficult to write about The War On Drugs without mentioning how transcendent it is to listen to them in the car. Everyone is right about that, but, for me, I also have to mention how much this dude sounds like Dylan. People say Springsteen, but I hear so much Bob. You don’t necessarily have to get “past” it, but you do kinda have to get used to it. Once you do, the lead guitar will carry you into the clouds. This music will make you contemplate and reflect.

23) Foxing - “Night Channels”

Let’s keep the mood contemplative; you almost feel sleepless if not completely locked in to this one.

UPDATE: This dropped in 2015, /sigh

22) Craig Finn - “God In Chicago”

This is more of a movie than a song -- and the visuals agree. Focus in on the lyrics, take in the story, and then do it again soon because you’ll catch new wrinkles each time. One of the year’s best videos, for sure. Punk News phrases it well: “Here he’s made a solo album of losers who have no idea they’ve already lost.”

21) DJ Khaled f/ Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance The Rapper, Lil Wayne - “I’m The One”

No one wanted you to know he had sex in 2017 more than DJ Khaled. He made his infant son Asahd the “Executive Producer” for this video. Why? Because he’s an idiot. Khaled’s still existing fame continues to confound. He’s more faux-platitudes than man at his point. So why do the best artists in the world collaborate with someone so seemingly unintelligent? I don’t know, but this song bangs and was probably my Song of the Summer. We got JB on the hook, a dumb-but-amusing Quavo*, Wayne trying to gain footing, and Chance running across the finish line backward with Best Verse title belt. But Khaled won’t let you forget about him, blaring DJ tag and all. This song suffers for that, and it’s all his fault.

(* - his ad lib of just repeating everything becomes charming once you start to get Stockholm Syndrome with the song)

20) Ed Sheeran - “The Shape Of You”

What a 2017 for the man behind the year’s best (super successful) pop song. At the turn of the calendar, I barely knew who he was, but before we all knew it, there was a legitimate public outcry because he was on “Game of Thrones” for, like, two minutes. What a time. Oh, also, the “Come on, be my baby...” bridge gave me some “Real World: New Orleans” acid flashbacks.

Great meme, take us out.

19) Minus The Bear - “Last Kiss”

If the shattered neon heart didn’t give it away, this is a “the relationship is definitively over” breakup song. Seeing them play it at Riot Fest made me miss my late friend Luke; I wish he could have heard this.

18) Hot Water Music - “Never Going Back”

I’ve always maintained Chuck Ragan plays guitar and sings songs like a running back. Well, this song carpe diem’s me enough to play actual running back*.

(* - jk, would never do this unless it was against very small children)

17) Lucky Boys Confusion - “Good Luck”

My hometown heroes released their comeback album in 2017, and I’m not sure any track sums up the effort better. By the time Adam sings “Burned out, they call us / Screw ‘em, we got endless memories / Punk rock and the polish / I hope it gave you something to believe”, there are no dry eyes left.

(And yes, this could totally be an AM Taxi song, but with Ryan Fergus’ killer-fills-only drumming, I’m glad it wasn’t.)

16) Hodera - “Baltimore”

This song would likely have a Top 5 objective approval rating of any on the list.

...“The Wire” forever.

15) Iron Chic - “A Headache With Pictures”

It ain’t heavy, it ain’t heaven

If Hot Water Music is carpe diem, what is Iron Chic -- seize the life?! My favorite description of the band came from Sam Sutherland, who tweeted: “Whose day has already been derailed by the unavoidably weighty introspection of listening to the new Iron Chic record.”

They are a certified run-through-brick-walls outfit. One of my final 2017 memories of this song was subtweeting “Now I know” the night I got engaged and having my buddy Ricky think she might’ve declined the proposal. May have to include a ring emoji next time.

14) The Flatliners - “Indoors”

Had to listen to this, like, five or six times before its brilliant greatness overtook me like falling into a river. The chorus is so, so heartfelt.

Don’t sleep on the video, either (especially the end).

13) Sylvan Esso - “Die Young”

Though I have tickets to see them for the first time in 2018, I am not mega-versed in the catalogue of Sylvan Esso. But this feels like their best song. Imagine if Romeo and Juliet turned out OK.

12) Oso Oso - “Shoes (The Sneaker Song)”

Jade from Oso Oso would likely want all of the above stylized in lowercase -- but this ain’t Jade’s list. This was my favorite new band of 2017, and I do believe they made the year’s best album. It’s early-2000s emo at times, pop punk at others, and all ear candy.

11) Sincere Engineer - “Corn Dog Sonnet No. 7″

Staying in the new artist lane, I proudly introduce Sincere Engineer. This band sounds like if Modern Baseball had a little sister. By the time singer Deanna Belos sings “I’m still learning how to be”, you want to pat her on the back and give her all your best advice.

Fantastic music video -- and she confirmed to me this past weekend that it’s real mustard, not puffy paint (“I have a towel that is all yellow from cleaning it up”).

10) new.wav - “Girls”

Alright, so stick with me on this: new.wav is the band, covering The 1975′s song “Girls” in the style of “Enema of the State”-era blink-182. Confused? Yeah, I was too, but check it out. Maybe more impressive than the arrangements/performance is how they were able to match blink’s production style -- no easy task.

9) Jay-Z - “Family Feud” (starts around 5:30; partial version)

Shawn Corey Carter wants to get right with everyone -- America, his peers, and, of course, within his own home. And though I may never understand the “New n****s is the reason I stopped drinkin’ Dos Equis” lyric, I’m on board with about all else. Similar to the Oso Oso record, “4:44″ is such an album that it feels unfair to single out a song to represent all of its parts. Stripped from the LP, the song does not hit as hard, but in the groove of the record, it’s the apex. And despite Hov seemingly desiring peace, the song does have more than a few call outs:

- “My stash can’t fit into Steve Harvey’s suit” - “And old n****s, y’all stop actin’ brand new / Like 2Pac ain’t have a nose ring too” - “Al Sharpton in the mirror takin’ selfies / How is him or Pill Cosby s’posed to help me?”

In the latter stages of his career, it’s hard to call everything Jay does ‘necessary’, but “4:44″ definitely checked that box.

8) Rozwell Kid - “Wendy’s Trash Can”

Vacillated all year between this one and “Michael Keaton” and literally flipped a penny my cousin Maggie loaned me to decide. “Wendy’s Trash Can” was heads.

7) The Weeknd - “Reminder”

This one got backdoored in as a latter single from The Weeknd’s 2016 album. One of my favorite parts about Abel is how little he has had to change to succeed. Sure, it’s silky smooth, but he hasn’t sacrificed the drugs, darkness, or ego that should offend (but doesn’t because it he pulls it off so well). After bragging early in the song about he won a kids award for singing about cocaine, he calls out peers for biting his sound, blings out his entire crew, and, well:

When I travel 'round the globe, make a couple mil' a show And I come back to my city, I fuck every girl I know

/clutches pearls

6) The Bombpops - “Be Sweet”

The guitar riff in this song is why I fell in love with punk music. Also, super cool story behind the lyrics:

“'Be Sweet' is an homage to our dear friend, the late Brandon Carlisle of the band Teenage Bottlerocket," vocalist Jen Razavi told AP. "Back in 2010, we were partying in a hotel room with Brandon and Ray Carlisle. There was a guitar in the room and Brandon was showing us an idea he had for a song. He had written it for his wife, but he told us we should play it and change the lyrics to 'getting rad with my boyfriend.' He wrote down all the lyrics on four sheets of hotel notepad paper. Since then, the melody and the chord progression were forgotten, but I still had the lyrics. So we wrote our own version of the song in the studio and used every single lyric that Brandon had written down.

Did I mention the video has an “In Bloom” feel? Stop reading, go listen.

5) Action Bronson - “Let Me Breathe”

Action Bronson ain’t givin’ nothin’ up. This is my pick for rap song of the year. It’s got TV brags (”I got two shows, I’m about to pitch another”), a tight chorus (”Let me breathe for a minute / White Range Rover blowin’ trees all in it”), and whimsy shit too (“Honey bouncin’ up and down, she nearly broke my dick”). Ghostface’s disciple is having more fun than just about anyone.

4) Japandroids - “North East South West”

Only a Canadian band could get me to care this much about my own country. The Vancouver duo penned an Americana ode to the road -- but there’s a twist... they talk about their cities too. For every New Orleans, there’s a Toronto. For every California, a Vancouver.

Maybe they’ll be the ones to end all the border wars.

3) Alex Lahey - “Every Day’s The Weekend”

This is the only submission on the list I’d feel comfortable calling a perfect song. Relatable themes, a chorus that’ll tangle you up, f-bombs in all the right places, and every part maximized. She has this way of weaving between cool confidence and youthful insecurity, all in the matter of one verse.

2) Carly Rae Jepsen - “Cut To The Feeling”

When it comes to “Call Me Maybe” and its legacy, I do not fuck around. This song gets really, really, really close. Just watch this dude.

Queen Carly blessed us with another one. The chorus soars, arms go up, and clouds are your closest companions.

1) The Menzingers - “After The Party”

It's the little things my mind commits / To etch behind my eyelids

When this song dropped, my buddy Dave Rokos called it his favorite Menzos song ever. That felt like high praise, but man, he might be dead on. “After The Party” rips me in half with its lyrics of palpable desperation:

Like a kaleidoscope in vibrant hues I navigate around your tattoos Said you got that one on a whim when you were breaking up with him And that Matryoshka Russian doll That lines your shelf from big to small What a way to start anew To shed your skin and find the old you

If Carly’s chorus flies, this one holds us down like gravity. You feel everything, you feel nothing, you feel full yet voided, but after all of this -- the life, the party, the friends, the bars, the experiences, the nights, the lights, the fights, the city you live in -- it’s still her and you. Or him and you. Or whatever it is you come home to at the end, when it’s finally quiet.

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awhichofawind · 7 years

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ABC Tag

Tagged by @purple1sh (thanks kessa! <3 )

A - age: 21

B - biggest fear: i’m too tired to dwell on the really deep emotional things, so I’m going to say like diseased spongy skin

C - current time: 21:53

D - drink you last had: tea! Yorkshire English Breakfast, black, no sugar.

E - every day starts with: see d.)

 F - favourite song: !!!!!!!!! wow um ???? SO MANY. Landslide, Fleetwood Mac. Absolutely any Beatles song, but particularly A Day In the Life. You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go by Bob Dylan (anything from Blood on the Tracks, also Mr Tambourine Man and Like A Rolling Stone). Both Sides Now, Joni Mitchell. Tops or You Can’t Always Get What You Want by the Stones, A Whiter Shade of Pale, Kathy’s Song by S&G ....more recently, probably Goodbye England (Covered In Snow) or Worship Me by Laura Marling. In trad, it’s a toss-up between Lakes of Ponchartrain by Christie Moore and Wrong Foot Forward by Flook. Classical, probably either Liszt’s Liebestraume, Valse Melancolique by Darzins, Debussy’s First Arabesque, Piano Concerto No.2 in C Minor by Rachmaninov, or basically everything Chopin wrote.

Recently, I’m a bit obsessed with The Notorious BIG ft. Ja Rule- Old Thing Back, but that was our tune for the long sunny roads in Iceland

G - ghosts, are they real?: there are days when I doubt the existence of everything, but these are unhinged days where logic doesn’t apply. In reality, while I don’t think humans are capable of comprehending every part of the universe, I think the evidence is on the side of the no-ghost camp. Spirits, however, I believe in...even if only in the mind of the observer. For more details hmu, I could discuss such esoterica til the cows come home

 H - home town: I’d rather not say in case anyone finds me on here ahaha

I - in love with: scented flowers, empty beaches, art galleries, ink stains, beautiful words and beautiful things and the persistent good in people

J - jealous of: hermits, fishermen, carpenters

K - killed someone: i desecrated an orphanage in the name of the sith last week

 L - last time you cried: two hours ago, I laughed so hard

M - middle name: none,,,, ((((I have a minimalist identity)))))

N - number of siblings: three

O - one wish: a future that was promised/guaranteed

P - person you last called/texted: called? my dad. texted? my pal Maria

Q - question you’re always asked: ‘why on earth did you do geology and not english?’

R - reason to smile: so much !!!! my friends, the fact of spring, hope for the future. i’m quite content at the moment and it makes me ill

 S - song last sang: aw Christ i have to admit it was J Biebs and Despacito

T - time you woke up: 4.15am, to get a flight from Reykjavik

U - underwear colour: black as my heart

V - vacation destination: AH! Florence, Venice, Rome; Vienna and Prague; St Petersburg. On the other hand, Hawaii and back to San Fran. Also, Angkor Wat in Cambodia, Marrakech, Agra, so manyyyyy

W - worst habit: gnawing at my nails, also probably procrastination and generally allowing my horrendous natural personality to overwhelm me

X - x rays you’ve had: teeth, ankle

Y - your favourite foods: I don’t really eat junk, but sweet-wise I love blueberry muffins, ice cream with a floral flavour, fruitcakes, scones... I just literally adore everything my mum has ever cooked or baked (I worship her skills). Almonds, bananas, avocados....fresh fish......lovely tomato-based sauces. Parsnips. Ham bone soup. Muesli and Greek yoghurt. Anything that could even loosely be considered Mediterranean.

Z - Zodiac sign: Virgo

I tag: @stealingtimefromthekeepers @evstum-blr @milkthefrog @sugdensquad @queenofsideeye

#if i am incoherent i apologise i am so tired i feel drunk #p

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marlaluster · 6 years

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emptying clipboard w items numbered

1. Unlike wolves (gray, eastern, or red), which have undergone an improvement of their public image, attitudes towards the coyote remain largely negative. 2. Managing coyotes in Australia: arewe prepared ... https://www.pestsmart.org.au/managing-coyotes-in-australia-are Mobile · To enhance the current management practices relating to wild dogs and foxes within NSW and the adjoining ACT, two members of the Brindabella/Wee Jasper Wild Dog/Fox … What are the differences between a dingo and a coyote https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-differences-between-a-dingo-and... Mobile · What are the differences between a dingo and a coyote ... Coyotes are a North American animal, dingos and related types of dogs are found in Australia and ... Coyote v Australian Shepherd - Carnivora carnivoraforum.com/topic/9900131/1 Jun 23, 2017 · Carnivora is a forum for all those interested in everything to do withanimals. Welcome Guest ... Coyote vAustralian Shepherd ... Coyote - … Coyote Symbolism 3. https://www.pestsmart.org.au/managing-coyotes-in-australia-are-we-prepared/ 4. http://www.mtv.co.uk/celebrities/news/16-of-the-craziest-celebrity-stalker-that-will-give-you-the-major-creeps 5. 16 Of The Craziest Celebrity Stalkers That Will Give You The Major Creeps Chloe Khan has spoken out on Instagram about a man close to her that has become a stalker intent on causing her harm. And it's certainly not the first time some creepy AF people have targeted celebs... 1. Beyonce… Bey’s stalker Bassey Essien believed the theory that Beyonce had actually died years ago and replaced with an imposter. He sent the singers loads of threatening letters and a book of religious ramblings, he’s written. She eventually won a anti-harassment order against him in 2011. 2. Miley Cyrus… When Jason Luis Rivera was stopped by police trying to break into Miley’s house with scissors he told police: “I am friends with Miley Cyrus….She’s my wife. Me and Miley have been friends for five years. “ He was sent to jail for 18 months for misdemeanour trespassing. CREEPY. 3. Justin Bieber… Biebs was targeted by a prison inmate Dana Martin who was jailed for life for the rape and murder of a 15-year old girl. He asked his fellow inmate, Mark Staake, and Mark’s nephew Tanner Ruane to find Justin and cut off his penis. Dana admitted that he fancied El Biebo saying, “He’s a good-looking kid. Would I go to bed with him? Yeah. He’s legal, so probably.” They were arrested after police found out what they were planning. 4. Britney Spears… Japanese Masahiko Shizawa who thought he was madly in love with Britters started sending her numerous emails, pictures of himself and messages like “I’m chasing you.”. She filed for a retraining order but he still travelled to the US to stalk her outside her homes. Weirdly, after a confrontation with her security guards, he tried to sue Britney for extreme emotional distress. Funnily enough, he didn’t win. 5. Selena Gomez… Selena stalker Thomas Brodnicki said he had over fifty conversations with God a day about killing her. He also insisted that Sels file a restarnign order against him saying, “I believe that a restraining order should be issued against me to prevent me from trying to contact Selena Gomez. I do not wish to object to the restraining order against me because I know it is the only thing that will make me stay away from Selena.” Okaaaaaay. 6. Kim Kardashian... Dennis Shaun Bowman contacted Kim K constantly and started to show up at all of her LA events. It got to intense that she was granted a permanent restraining order that even forbid him from tweeting her. 7. Catherine Zeta Jones… After Dawnette Knight become obsessed with her husband Michael Douglas, she started sending letters to Catherine writing that if she didn’t leave him she would cut her into pieces and feed her to her dogs. She was sentences to three years in prison. 8. Rihanna… A fan got too close to Rihanna after he threw a chair through her window, broke into her house and insisted he was her future husband. He also mentioned he’s been there before but that was the first time he’s been caught. YIKES. 9. Gwyneth Paltrow… Dante Michael Solu became obsessed with Gwynnie he sent her five letters a day as well as boxes of porn. He also went to her parents house and said he wanted to ‘cut the sin out of her with god’s scalpel'. Finally he was declared insane after sending her a vibrator telling her he loved her. 10. Blake Lively… Blake’s stalker started turning up at the Gossop Girl set stating he had a ‘metaphysicaly connection’ with Blake before going on to harass her mother. Sergei Mifle, an aspiring actor, was told to stay away from both women with a restraining order. 11. Ashley Tisdale… The High School Musical star was targeted by a stalker who tweeted her over 18,000 times including a number of death threats. 12. Jennifer Aniston… Jen was subjected to a stalker whp spent eight days trying to find her after he told police he was in a relationship with her. After they found a car with the words ‘I LOVE YOU JENNIFER ANISTON’ carved into it, he was placed on a psychiatric hold. 13. Ariana Grande... Timothy Normandin sent gifts and messages to Ari including a pumpkin, a bracelet, dog and cat calendars and eight Yankee candles. He wrote a poem on his personal Facebook asking if she would consider him ‘more than dirt’ if things were different. He tried to crash her record Christmas party before being ordered to stay away from the singer and be treated for delusional disorder. 14. Gigi Hadid... Marcell Porter tried to break into Gigi’s NYC home five times in a week and was arrested for stalking and burglary. He told the building’s manitnece man, “I’m paramilitary and I saved her life before. She wants to marry me and have my kids.” He also allegedly sent her Facebook messages reading, “I LOVE U. I KNOW EVERYTHING NOW. WAIT FOR ME SOULMATE.” 15. Taylor Swift... A stalker sent Taylor and her father messages for months that read: ‘Without her, I walk the earth alone forever and she'll continue to experience failed relationships that break her heart,’ and ’God is going to kill all the Swifts and then the issue will go away." He also included a photo of the singer with a caption that read, ‘A whore named Satan dies.’ Frank Andrew Hoover was arrested after trying to get to Taylor at her Formula One concert last year, telling her bodyguards: possibly accompany Taylor wherever she goes." 16. Chloe Kahn… Chloe Khan has spoken out about man who is stalking her and hacked into her Instagram account, causing her to close it. https://instagram.com/p/BPnkEtCg8kq/?taken-by=reactivate.chloe.khan https://instagram.com/p/BPoJVYuAPOq/?taken-by=reactivate.chloe.khan https://instagram.com/p/BPoKdY6gLH9/?taken-by=reactivate.chloe.khan Watch Things You Will Only Know If You Are A Die Hard Belieber below! 6. http://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/gallery/celebrity-stalker-cases 7. tising. You can opt out at any time or find out more by reading ourcookie policy. ENTERTAINMENT Celebrity Stalker Cases BY GLAMOUR 09 AUG 2016 We take a look at the most infamous, creepy and downright bizarre celebrity stalker cases in history. Scary… Winona Ryder has revealed that she once had a "creepy" stalker, but he left her for someone else. Earlier in her career a guy who was a regular extra in her movies was starting to be "really creepy" towards her, but when she reported him to her director, the man insisted he was "not even obsessed" with her any more as he had moved on to another star, Alyssa Milano. Asked if she'd ever had a stalker, she said: "Yeah. I did. I had a few. One was really nice. He kept showing up as an extra on movies, and you don't know. You have to be careful. So I told the director, because he was kinda creepy. And I got this letter in my trailer the next day that was like, 'I was just trying to get work as an extra! Just so you know, I'm not even obsessed with you anymore, I'm obsessed with Alyssa Milano now!' So he kind of left me for Alyssa Milano." WINONA RYDER Keanu Reeves suffered a case of life imitating art when two women broke into his home over two days. The actor is soon to star in a film called Knock Knock, which is about two women turning up on his doorstep and wreaking havoc on his life. Then Keanu faced two female stalkers breaking into his home in REAL LIFE. The first came and sat in his library, and was found by the actor sitting calmly in a chair, and the second broke in via an unlocked door and swam naked in his pool. REX FEATURES After a 39-year-old man was arrested for "breaking into" Sandra Bullock's home, the 49-year-old actress has now reportedly filed a restraining order against the man. According to TMZ a protective order is only issued if the actress has reason to fear the suspect. Justin Timberlake was forced to take a restraining order out against Karen McNeil after the 48-year-old JT-obsessive was caught loitering on his Hollywood estate for the third time. It was reported the “heavyset” woman “trespassed onto [Timberlake's] property, attempted to gain access into his home, and delusionally claimed to be friends with him.” She must now stay at least 100 yards away from the Sexy Back singer, his home and his car. Shockingly, this isn’t the first time said stalker has been court ordered to stay away from a star: Gun ‘N’ Roses rocker Axl Rose had a similar order placed on her too back in ’97. In the words of JT: What Goes Around… Comes Around, McNeil. WENN A 29-year-old British man queued at London’s flagship Waterstone’s book store for a reported five hours to see X Factor songstress Leona Lewis, then punched the Bleeding Love singer in the face when he finally reached the front. He was arrested at the scene as a badly-shaken Leona escaped with slight bruising. BIG PICTURES Welsh beauty Catherine Zeta Joneswas targeted by a crazed stalker when she left Blighty’s fair shores and hooked up with Hollywood heavyweight Michael Douglas. Believing that our Cath was only with Douglas for his money, Dawnette Knight sent some truly evil, disturbing letters to the Chicago starlet, threatening to ‘slice’ her up ‘like meat on a bone’. Luckily for the Zeta-Jones-Douglas’, Knight was sent to prison in 2005. Catherine said at the time: "You will never be famous, you will never be infamous; you are just a criminal." BIG PICTURES In 2000, pizza delivery boy Dante Michael Soiu sent actress Gwyneth Paltrow up to five letters a day with flowers, chocolates, packages of porn and pizza (?!). He was declared legally insane at the trial and detained in a high-security psychiatric hospital in California indefinitely. WENN In what could be considered the greatest declaration of love in history, middle-aged homeless man William Lepeska figured the way to catch the eye of tennis hottie Anna Kournikova, was to swim naked towards her Miami Beach estate, presumably to flaunt the ‘Anna’ tattoo on his right thigh. He was arrested when he got out on to the pool deck of the wrong house. Still naked, and reportedly shouting “Anna, save me!” Lepeska was sent to a secure facility in Florida. He had been previously obsessed with Spice Girl Mel B but said, and quote: “finally I said the heck with her, moving on to greener pastures”. BIG PICTURES In 2006, ‘author’ Dessarae Bradford ambushed Colin Farrell during filming of The Tonight Show With Jay Leno, climbing on-stage and handing both Colin and Jay a copy of her latest self-published book ‘Colin Farrell: A Dark Twisted Puppy’. This was, in fact, Dessarae’s second book – she wrote the perplexing but nonetheless entertainingly titled ‘I F**ked Alec Baldwin In His A*s’ as well. A court since ordered that Bradford must stay at least 150 yards from the Irish actor and his family. WENN In 2001, 46-year-old Diana Napolis claimed that Steven Spielberg and his wife were part of a satanic cult operating out of his basement, and that the Oscar-winning director had implanted a microchip called a ‘soul-catcher’ in her brain. He hadn’t – and a judge ruled that Napolis posed a serious threat and barred her from coming within 150m of Spielberg or his family. WENN But Diana Napolis didn’t stop there. She soon turned her attentions to actressJennifer Love Hewitt, whom she believed was using mind controlling "cybertronic" technology to manipulate her body. After threatening letters and several frightening confrontations on the red carpet, Napolis was committed to a state hospital, and is barred from any contact with the actress or her family for ten years. PA PHOTOS In 2001, Sharon Stone came home to find Italian kitchen porter Agostino Pomato in her pool house. He professed his love and said he had travelled from Italy to make her his wife. Luckily, Sharon’s driver and gardeners stopped him for getting too close to the Basic Instinct starlet, and he was deported from the US back to his native Italy. Pomato didn’t learn his lesson though, and just a year later he was back on American soil, informing supermodel Claudia Schiffer that the pope had ordered them to marry. Tut-tut. He was later sectioned under the mental health act. WENN 46-year-old Robert Gardner stalkedJanet Jackson for NINE years, sending letters and showing up at random events – even the 2004 trial of her brother Michael. During the trial, Gardner confessed he believed himself and Janet were “in a relationship”, and was ordered to stay at least 100 yards away from the singer and her family. PA PHOTOS In one of the most infamous Hollywood stalker cases in history, John Hinkley Jr. attempted to assassinate US President Ronald Reagan in 1981 in an effort to impress actress Jodie Foster. After becoming obsessed with cult psycho flick Taxi Driver, in which Foster played 12-year-old prostitute Iris, Hinkley moved close to Yale University where the actress was studying, and took to slipping poems under her dorm-room door to get her attention. When that didn’t work, he outlined plans to assassinate the president, claiming that the shooting was “the greatest love offering in the history of the world”. Hinkley made good on his promise – he fired six shots at Reagan later that day. Reagan survived, and Hinckley was confined to a Washington hospital indefinitely. WENN In an attempt to win the heart of leggy actress Uma Thurman, Jack Jordan – a 37-year-old who’d had a crush on Uma since high school – sent her sexually explicit cards and drawings depicting the actress’ death. He also repeatedly visited her house and even tried to get into her trailer on a film set, leaving a note that read “my hands should be on your body at all times.” Creep. He was found guilty of fourth-degree stalking and one count of second degree aggravated harassment in 2008. BIG PICTURES In 2005, a Californian judge grantedPamela Anderson a three-year restraining order against Brit William Peter Stansfield, who claimed he wanted the Baywatch babe to star in a movie he had written for her. In order to secure Pam for the ‘role’, homeless 29-year-old Stansfield took to hanging around the starlet’s house, harassing her family and even turning up at her children’s school. BIG PICTURES Self proclaimed ‘self-employed musician’ Cristin Keleher made headlines in 1999 when she broke into the home of legendary Beatles guitaristGeorge Harrison and helped herself to a frozen pizza. She was jailed for four months for trespassing and theft after Harrison revealed this peckish midnight caller had actually been stalking him for years. Shockingly, Keleher was back in the news in 2007 when her body was found in a car in California. PA PHOTOS 8. Celebrity Stalker Cases BY GLAMOUR 09 AUG 2016 We take a look at the most infamous, creepy and downright bizarre celebrity stalker cases in history. Scary… 9. https://www.bing.com/search?q=celebrity+stalker&PC=SMSM&FORM=MBDPSB 10. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/shadow-boxing/201202/celebrity-stalkers 11. Celebrity Stalkers | Psychology Today The life of a celebrity is not all glitz and glamour. Sometimes they attract stalkers. Some of those stalkers are deranged, determined and dangerous, and a few have succeeded with their lethal intent. Madonna was lucky; her stalker was stopped. His recent escape from a psychiatric facility is a reminder of the risks from his disorder. Erotomania is a special kind of fixation. People who suffer from it develop the delusion that another person - usually a celebrity or someone of higher social status - loves them. They envision an entwined destiny and feel a persistent need to contact or see the inamorata, triggering episodes of stalking. article continues after advertisement Only about ten percent of stalkers are erotomanic, but most are aggressive.They may send unwanted letters or packages, make numerous phone calls, or take up a pursuit. They might even break into a home. Sometimes they purposely endanger the object of their affection so they can offer rescue and be a hero. Even if the target person denies any feelings for them, erotomanics "know the truth." Every gesture, even a restraining order, is a sign of affirmation: they're connected. In May 1995, Robert Hoskins was a homeless man with a delusion that Madonna was meant to be his wife. He scaled a high wall that protected her Hollywood Hills residence, but her bodyguard scared him away. Intent on his mission, Hoskins left a note for Madonna on a religious tract entitled Defiled. The tract described punishing people who wear inappropriate clothing and killing those who have sex outside marriage. article continues after advertisement Hoskins came again, warning the bodyguard that if Madonna did not marry him that very evening, he would slice her throat open. Two months later he scaled the wall again, but this time he was shot and wounded. He was also arrested. When the trial opened, Madonna was subpoenaed to testify. She was reluctant. Being in court, she said, made her feel sick, and she had suffered from repeated nightmares of her stalker getting into her home. She also stated that her presence in court fulfilled his fantasies of being noticed by her. Hoskins was convicted and given a ten-year sentence, but even in prison he maintained his obsession. One might think that a ten-year separation would erode such fixations, but many erotomanic stalkers maintain them for decades. Upon his release from prison, Hoskins completed a stay at Atascadero State Hospital, where he was found to be mentally disturbed. When he was convicted of vandalism in July 2011, he was sent to a psychiatric facility. On February 3, he escaped custody and disappeared for a week before he was finally apprehended. The police had warned the nearby community that he was dangerous when off hismedication. article continues after advertisement Before 1980, there were few celebrity stalkers bent on lethal intent, but after the fatal shooting of John Lennon, they've increased. One security firm's analysis of 5,000 letters to celebrities showed that over 90% of the correspondents had a mental disturbance. Celebrity stalking is a symptom of our image-dominated culture. There are numerous websites devoted to it, and some participants think that celebrities deserve it. As fans accept the thinning of personal boundaries via blogs, social pages, and intrusive videos, there develops a parallel increase in their desire to trespass into the lives of the rich and famous. There's only a thin line of defense, because there's so little accountability for what gets printed or aired, and the details of celebrity lives have grown increasingly more intimate and salacious. Some of them add the fuel themselves to the fire. As the loss of privacy in our culture converges with the demand to know every detail about celebrity lives, we can expect to see more stalkers, some of whom will certainly be lethal. 12. Celebrity StalkersMadonna’s obsessive fan reflects our celebrity-centered culture. Posted Feb 11, 2012 13. Erotomania is a special kind of fixation. People who suffer from it develop the delusion that another person - usually a celebrity or someone of higher social status - loves them. They envision an entwined destiny and feel a persistent need to contact or see the inamorata, triggering episodes of stalking. article continues after advertisement Only about ten percent of stalkers are erotomanic, but most are aggressive. They may send unwanted letters or packages, make numerous phone calls, or take up a pursuit. They might even break into a home. Sometimes they purposely endanger the object of their affection so they can offer rescue and be a hero. Even if the target person denies any feelings for them, erotomanics " 14. On February 3, he escaped custody and disappeared for a week before he was finally apprehended. The police had warned the nearby community that he was dangerous when off hismedication. article continues after advertisement Before 1980, there were few celeb 15. As fans accept the thinning of personal boundaries via blogs, social pages, and intrusive videos, there develops a parallel increase in their desire to trespass into the lives of the rich and famous. 16. As the loss of privacy in our culture converges with the demand to know every detail about celebrity lives, we can expect to see more stalkers, some of whom will certainly be lethal. 17. https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=IJr7o125&id=D8BA35073FA4C8C0B653898312B8E740187DB977&thid=OIP.DceMjIdSAJ4JrPhg1312bwHaG6&q=celebrity+stalker&simid=608010373298848324&selectedIndex=2&PC=SMSM&ajaxhist=0 18. http://identity-mag.com/?pg=article&id=604 19. http://identity-mag.com/uploads/images/jj.jpg 20. https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=S7Xf15BC&id=5B089D1C0D0424411D4384467D6CCA03CD148955&thid=OIP.S7Xf15BCJmo9DkzPiMdM8AHaD5&q=celebrity+stalker&simid=608004691038765239&selectedIndex=11&PC=SMSM&ajaxhist=0

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carvajalsdani · 8 years

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I was tagged by @gaviotaaaaaaa and @keylordnavas thank you!!!!!! ❤️💜  Rules: Copy the text and remove my answers and put in yours and then tag 10 and tag the person who tagged you and have fun!  

A- age: 20 

B- biggest fear: getting to that age where I basically lose my mind and become completely delusional  

C- current time: 12:32 am 

D-drink you last had: Dr Pepper

E- every day starts with: being tired as soon as I wake up 

F- favorite song: ATM it’s either trapped in a club or Monday’s by Sales 

G- Guilty pleasure: currently Top Gun the movie………. I’ve watched it so many times these past couple of months like it’s soooooo cheesy but I honestly love it so much ahh 

H- hometown: technically I was born in Leon, Guanajuato, Mexico but it’d consider San Francisco del Rincon, Guanajuato my true hometown  

I- in love with: Sales!!!!!!! I found this band the other day and I looooove them sm  

J- jealous of: ppl who have healthy relationships with their mother 

K- killed someone: no just in video games  

L- last time you cried: god maybe… Sunday which was such a horrible day I cried all day and even on the way to work in an uber like…….. embarrassing 

M- middle name: it’s uglie lmfao it’s De La Luz 

N- # of siblings: 2 

O- one wish: to live in Mexico with a full time job that pays the bills and lets me enjoy some free time 

P- Person you last called/texted: my best friend 

Q- questions you’re always asked: is that your name or is it short for something? What made you shave all your hair????  

R- reasons to smile: I got my license today!!!!!!!! 

S- song last sang: biebs in the trap - Travis Scott  

T-time you woke up: 7:45 

U- underwear color: purple 

V- Vacation Destination: probably somewhere in Italy or maybe Peru???? Idk 

W-worst habit: biting my nails 

X- x rays you’ve had: teeth, Ct scan, I’ve also had some of my organs x rayed  

Y- your fave food: enfrijoladas 

Z-zodiac sign: Gemini (aka the worst!)

I tag @tiitialice @marcelovieirajr @theytalkedofdragons @asensihoe @edenshazards @oliviergir0ud and @yalla-madrid

#tag games

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perpetualspacerift · 8 years

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Grav’s Light-Speed Review

Coloring Book - 8/10

Music that you can really feel.

Some odd choices in the production of certain songs.

Chance can really preach in music. You can feel it too!

Chance’s rhymes are either smooth and casually spoken yet groovy or go super hard.

Songs

"All We Got"

Chance really kills it with his lines.

Kanye is there a little. (and AUTO-TUNED TO THE MAX)

Sounds kind of clash in the background during the chorus. Intentional or not, kinda an odd choice.

“No Problem”

I will literally jump up and down when the first drop hits.

Chance and 2 Chainz have great lines. Weezy kind of loses me though.

“AGH AGH AGH AGH!”

“Summer Friends”

Cool vocoder sounds but they do overlap in a weird way with Chance’s vocals a couple times. Also, they can get loud if your volume is way up.

Chance can casually spit fire.

“79, 79, 79, EH! 79, 79, 79, EH!”

"D.R.A.M. Sings Special"

Great message.

Instrumentals are cool.

Usually skip it because I’m too hyped up for the other songs.

"Blessings"

Churchy.

Really brings out Chance’s great personality.

“I don’t make songs for free. I make them for freedom.”

He sings very humblingly. Seems like a great guy.

"Same Drugs”

Catchy.

The strings in the background are really nice.

“We don’t, we don’t... do what we say we’re gonna.”

"Mixtape"

Love the beat.

Love the intrumentals.

Young Thug and Lil Yachty aren’t really my thing. Sorry.

"Angels”

Love the beat.

Love the lyrics.

I really love the sound of this song.

I really enjoy this song.

“Who is you? And who the fuck is you? And who is him?”

"Juke Jam"

The music is so smooth.

Chance’s lines are nice.

The Bieb’s aren’t too bad either.

Honestly, I kinda like the instrumentals more than anything.

"All Night"

This song is insane.

Chano makes some good music though.

“All you do is talk, I ain’t got shit to say.”

You probably will dance to this.

"How Great"

Also a churchy song.

Props to Chance for getting his cousin and Jay Electronica on this.

Not a bad song.

"Smoke Break"

Not a huge fan of the chorus.

Some aspects of the song are ok.

An interesting one, I suppose.

"Finish Line / Drown"

Soulful

Harry Potter reference in the song.

T-Pain is really a nice singer.

That girl sings nicely as well.

Chance has some nice lines.

Nice song.

"Blessings (Reprise)"

Dude, I want to attend church again. Daaaang!

I am so ready.

A beautiful song.

#chance the rapper #lil chano from 79th #chano #Grav's Light-Speed Reviews #coloring book #music #big fella

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abakerstrilogyhas4books · 8 years

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I got tagged by: @x-y-and-zee

Rules: Copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in yours, and when you are done tag up to 10 people and also tag the person who tagged you… and most importantly, have fun!

a - age: 30 b - biggest fear: my anxiety spiraling out of control and ruining my life haha. Thank goodness for meds ;) c - current time: 8:41pm d - drink you last had: rum and coke 👌 e - every day starts with: my 5 year old waking me up f - favorite song: currently I’m really enjoying Crazy Lucky by Better Than Ezra. But I have many favorite songs. g - ghosts, are they real: no h - hometown: Lenexa, KS i - in love with: my husband. He puts up with my bs ;) j - jealous of: I try not to envy others but sometimes I think of my childless friends and the freedom they have to do things without small people and I long for alone time k - killed someone: No? l - last time you cried: honestly just like an hour or two ago. Into a mug of ice cream. Thanks PMS 👍 m - middle name: Ann n - number of siblings: hahaha. I’m adopted so it’s complex. I was raised with one brother. I have two biological half sisters and three half brothers, only one of whom I’m close with. I also adopted my adopted brother’s half brother as my own brother. There will be a quiz. o - one wish: I don’t typically wish for things but I do wish Trump had never been elected. Ugh. p - person you last called/texted: my friend q - questions you’re always asked: “Can I read your book?“ “How long are you planning to homeschool for?” “What’s it like being adopted?” r - reasons to smile: cuddly cats, my adorable children, coffee, memes, my friends and family, hilarious TV shows s - song last sang: I’m sorry to say that “Love Yourself” by the Biebs showed up in my Spotify and I know the words. I hope we can still be friends. t - time you woke up: 8am? u - underwear color: it’s laundry day so it’s a pretty sketchy old nude pair haha v - vacation destination: everywhere? I think I’ll be hitting both NYC and San Francisco in 2018! w - worst habit: um swearing in front of children. I’m a terrible person. x - x-rays you’ve had: I’ve never had an x-ray, knock on freaking wood y - your favorite food: like I could narrow it down to one. Pssh. Coffee, specifically with amaretto and whipped cream, stromboli cheesecake, pretzels with hummus, crab rangoon, pizza, Caesar salad. Not together, that’d be weird. z - zodiac sign: Leo but I truly care zero percent about that shit

Tagging: friends if you’re amused by these things feel free, if not, no worries at all! @cassiopeiasara, @thebestdressedrebelinhistory, @packratsugarflat, @stezton, @holtzdammit, @geekmisconduct, @funkelly, @audreyimpossible, @princesconsuela, @whiskers-r-we, @just-shower-thoughts, @schmidtsburg, @ridiculouspicturesofkatemckinnon

@gatherthewords @lil-peanutt

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oldmilfenjoyer · 4 years

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time to rewrite tma eps based off celeb goss I guess.

please don’t take this seriously I didn’t touch t*yl*r sw*ft goss for a reason

mag 6 squirm: as the only horny tma ep it gets the timothee chalamet/sprouse twins/eddie redmayne chlamydia saga

mag 7 the piper: mitskis dad is a cia agent and probs def a war criminal

mag 32 hive: obviously the jameela jamil bee story

mag 34 anatomy class: this isn’t gossip. please look at a time lapse of ariana grandes eyebrows WHERES she putting her forehead.

mag 50 foundations: george clooney married amal clooney to get a leg up in eventually running for president. also they’re lowkey divorced.

mag 53 crusader: angelina jolie being v vocal about pegging her bf

mag 58 trail rations: the catering of the new power rangers movie being just “a pile of coke w a little spoon” to quote

mag 69 thought for the day: shakira evading spanish taxes.

may 77 the kind mother: whatever tf yolanda hadid is doing w gigi and bella in like general.

mag 84 possessive: this isn’t a conspiracy the queen definitely orchestrated princess diana’s death. also meghan and harry leaving the royal family for a netflix or amazon deal that’s going to get them $$$$$$$$$.

mag 97 we all ignore the pit: the jameela jamil munchausen theories (I’m so sorry miss jamil please know I love you pero also like the cancer thing)

mag 102 nesting instinct: jessica biel’s gay and specifically the photo of a woman grabbing jessica biel’s ass while justin timberlake is standing next to her but not looking

mag 112 thrill of the chase: ok…did john hamm haze a dude to death. did lady Gaga kill that chick and steal her identity. how involved were the Olsen twins (coke dealer) in heath ledger dying in Mary Kate’s apartment. Jonny depp absolutely killed joaquin phoenixs brother.

mag 113 breathing room: beyonce and jay z had separate security teams in the met gala 2014 elevator

mag 118 masquerade: brie larson staging whole foods paparazzi pics w her (fake) bf. honestly anyone staging whole foods/ trader joes pap pics.

mag 124 left hanging: bella thorne getting carded when she didn’t have her ID, asking the bartender “don’t you recognize me”, him saying no, her exiting stage left

mag 134 time of revelation: the influencer who’s dog shit on her bed before a party and instead of cleaning it up she put the sheets in her OVEN. idk who u r but Caroline Calloway u have the money for laundry detergent.

mag 136 the puppeteer: I lied I’m bringing Taylor in. I’m not a swiftie and I refuse to get involved w swift discourse. but taylor in 50 years will be remembered for being The Beard for fake dating closeted gay celebs (ex tom hiddleston, joe alwyn, joe jonas, I cant remember who else) and also for giving everyone involved hella publicity

mag 153 love bombing: so many celebs have lyme disease despite not living on the east coast but we’re specifying yolanda + bella + anwar hadid bc yolanda wrote a whole ass book abt it. also j biebs.

mag 159 the last: billie eilish’s parents were gentrifiers and got fucked up by the 2008 housing crisis HA (also they helped commit money laundry)

mag 160 the eye opens: please I just want to know what’s going on with the danai gurira/lupita nyongo/tessa thompson/janelle monae love quadrangle

posted in celebration of Megan Fox leaving her husband good for her!!!!

#this is the worst post ever made im so sorry legally i can drop this at no other time than the middle of the night when no one will see it #source theocseason4 blog PLEASE follow #the magnus archives #huh

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lightwood-alec · 8 years

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TV Episodes 2017

13 Reasons Why (13) 1x01 - Tape 1, Side A 1x02 - Tape 1, Side B 1x03 - Tape 2, Side A 1x04 - Tape 2, Side B 1x05 - Tape 3, Side A 1x06 - Tape 3, Side B 1x07 - Tape 4, Side A 1x08 - Tape 4, Side B 1x09 - Tape 5, Side A 1x10 - Tape 5, Side B 1x11 - Tape 6, Side A 1x12 - Tape 6, Side B 1x13 - Tape 7, Side A 8 Out of 10 Cats (1) 20x08 - Jamali Maddix, Rick Edwards, Kate Humble & Joe Lycett (New Year’s Special) 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown (1) 12x01- Stephen Mangan, Noel Fielding, Fay Ripley & the Brett Domino Trio A League of Their Own (9) 11x11 - Christmas Special 11x12 - U.S. Road Trip 2, Part One 11x13 - U.S. Road Trip 2, Part Two 11x14 - U.S. Road Trip 2, Part Three 11x15 - U.S. Road Trip 2, Part Four 11x16 - U.S. Road Trip 2, Part Five 12x01 - Rob Beckett, Dele Ali & Stephen Mangan 12x02 - Emma Bunton, Mo Farah & Anthony Joshua 12x04 - Charlotte Dujardin, Cesc Fabregas & Romesh Ranganathan American Gods (1) 1x01 - The Bone Orchard American Horror Story: Cult (11) American Horror Story: Hotel (4) 5x07 - Flicker 5x08 - Ten Commandments Killer 5x09 - She Wants Revenge 5x10 - She Gets Revenge An Unfortunate Series of Events (1) 1x01 - The Bad Beginning: Part One And Then There Were None (1) 1x01 - Episode One Animal Kingdom (14) 1x08 - Man In 1x09 - Judas Kiss 1x10 - What Have You Done 2x01 - Eat What You Kill 2x02 - Karma 2x03 - Bleed for It 2x04 - Broken Boards 2x05 - Forgive Us Our Trespasses 2x06 - Cry Havoc 2x07 - Dig 2x08 - Grace 2x09 - Custody 2x10 - Treasure 2x11 - The Leopard Archer (2) 8x01 - Archer Dreamland: No Good Deed 8x02 - Archer Dreamland: Berenice Arrow (1) 6x08 - Crisis on Earth-X, Part 2 Atlanta (10) 1x01 - The Big Bang 1x02 - Streets on Lock 1x03 - Go for Broke 1x04 - The Streisand Effect 1x05 - Nobody Beats the Biebs 1x06 - Value 1x07 - B.A.N. 1x08 - The Club 1x09 - Juneteenth 1x10 - The Jacket Ballers (8) 1x02 - Raise Up 1x03 - Move the Chains 1x04 - Heads Will Roll 1x05 - Machete Charge 1x06 - Everything Is Everything 1x07 - Ends 1x08 - Gaslighting 1x09 - Head-On Bates Motel (3) 5x05 - Dreams Die First 5x06 - Marion 5x07 - Inseparable Big Fat Quiz of the Year (2) 1x24 - Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2016 1x25 - Big Fat Quiz of Everything 2017 Big Little Lies (7) Big Time Rush (1) 2x15 - Big Time Reality Bill Nye Saves the World (2) 1x01 - Earth Is a Hot Mess 1x02 - Tune Your Quack-o-Meter Billy on the Street (18) 1x01 - And Away We Go... 1x02 - Television is the Greatest Thing to Ever Happen to Me! 1x03 - Drunk Rich 1x04 - Can Rachel Dratch Name 20 White People in 30 Seconds? 1x05 - The Meryl Streep Showdown 1x06 - Where in the World is Scarlett Johansson’s Vagina? 1x07 - Ask an Asian! 1x08 - Are You Smarter Than a Gay Fifth Grader? 1x09 - Did You Hear Madonna Died? 1x10 - Joan Rivers Gets Quizzed in the Face 2x01 - Billy Meets Mr. Singh! 2x02 - The Lesbian Lightning Round, with Andy Cohen 2x03 - Scream for an American Girl Doll, with Will Ferrell 2x04 - It’s Spock - Do You Care?, with Zachary Quinto 2x05 - Whistleblow that Jew!, with Rashida Jones and Maya Rudolph 2x06 - It’s Debra Messing, You Gays!, with Debra Messing and Christian Borle 2x07 - Do You Think Gisele Bundchen Understands the Jokes on Portlandia?, with Nas and Ashley Benson 5x08 - Curbside Conga Line with James Corden The Blacklist (4) 4x03 - Miles McGrath (No. 65) 4x04 - Gaia (No. 81) 4x05 - The Lindquist Concern (No. 105) 4x06 - The Thrushes (No. 53) Black Sails (10) 4x01 - XXIX 4x02 - XXX 4x03 - XXXI 4x04 - XXXII 4x05 - XXXIII 4x06 - XXXIV 4x07 - XXXV 4x08 - XXXVI 4x09 - XXXVII 4x10 - XXVIII Boardwalk Empire (2) 1x04 - Anastasia 1x05 - Nights in Ballygran The Bold Type (10) Brooklyn Nine-Nine (23) 4x11 - The Fugitive, Part One 4x12 - The Fugitive, Part Two 4x13 - The Audit 4x14 - Serve & Protect 4x15 - The Last Ride 4x16 - Moo Moo 4x17 - Cop Con 4x18 - Chasing Amy 4x19 - Your Honor 4x20 - The Slaughterhouse 4x21 - The Bank Job 4x22 - Crime & Punishment 5x01 - The Big House, Pt. 1 5x02 - The Big House, Pt. 2 5x03 - Kicks 5x04 - HalloVeen 5x05 - Bad Beat 5x06 - The Venue 5x07 - Two Turkeys 5x08 - Return to Skyfire 5x09 - 99 5x10 - Game Night 5x11 - The Favor Castlevania (4) 1x01 - Witchbottle 1x02 - Necropolis 1x03 - Labyrinth 1x04 - Monument Dear White People (10) 1x01 - Chapter I 1x02 - Chapter II 1x03 - Chapter III 1x04 - Chapter IV 1x05 - Chapter V 1x06 - Chapter VI 1x07 - Chapter VII 1x08 - Chapter VIII 1x09 - Chapter IX 1x10 - Chapter X The Defenders (8) Difficult People (28) Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency (4) 1x01 - Horizons 1x02 - Lost & Found 1x03 - Rogue Wall Enthusiasts 1x04 - Watkin The Exorcist (9) 1x08 - Chapter Eight: The Griefbearers 1x09 - Chapter Nine: 162 1x10 - Chapter Ten: Three Rooms 2x01 - Janus 2x02 - Safe as Houses 2x03 - Unclean 2x04 - One for Sorrow 2x05 - There But for the Grace of God, Go I 2x06 - Darling Nikki The Flash (3) 2x04 - The Fury of Firestorm 3x17 - Duet 4x08 - Crisis on Earth-X, Part 3 Freedom Fighters: The Ray (3) 1x01 - Episode One 1x02 - Episode Two 1x03 - Episode Three Future Man (13) Game of Thrones (2) 7x06 - Beyond the Wall 7x07 - The Dragon and the Wolf The Get Down (11) 1x01 - Where There Is Ruin, There Is Hope for a Treasure 1x02 - Seek Those Who Fan Your Flames 1x03 - Darkness Is Your Candle 1x04 - Forget Safety, Be Notorious 1x05 - You Have Wings, Learn to Fly 1x06 - Raise Your Words, Not Your Voice 1x07 - Unfold Your Own Myth 1x08 - The Beat Says, This Is The Way 1x09 - One by One, Into the Dark 1x10 - Gamble Everything 1x11 - Only From Exile Can We Come Home Girl Meets World (1) 3x21 - Girl Meets Goodbye Glue (6) 1x01 - Everyone 1x02 - James/Janine 1x03 - Eli/Rob 1x04 - Tina/Dominic 1x05 - James/Rob/Cal 1x06 - Rob/Tina The Good Place (21) 1x01 - Pilot 1x02 - Flying 1x03 - Tahani Al-Jamil 1x04 - Jason Mendoza 1x05 - Category 55 Doomsday Crisis 1x06 - What We Owe to Each Other 1x07 - The Eternal Shriek 1x08 - Most Improved Player 1x09 - ...Someone Like Me as a Member 1x10 - Chidi’s Choice 1x11 - What’s My Motivation 1x12 - Mindy St. Claire 1x13 - Michael’s Gambit 2x01 - Everything Is Great! (Part 1) 2x02 - Everything Is Great! (Part 2) 2x03 - Dance Dance Resolution 2x04 - Team Cockroach 2x05 - Existential Crisis 2x06 - The Trolley Problem 2x07 - Janet and Michael 2x08 - Derek Gotham (22) 3x12 - Ghosts 3x13 - Smile Like You Mean It 3x14 - The Gentle Art of Making Enemies 3x15 - How the Riddler Got His Name 3x16 - These Delicate and Dark Obsessions 3x17 - The Primal Riddle 3x18 - Light the Wick 3x19 - All Will Be Judged 3x20 - Pretty Hate Machine 3x21 - Destiny Calling 3x22 - Heavydirtysoul 4x01 - Pax Penguina 4x02 - The Fear Reaper 4x03 - They Who Hide Behind Masks 4x04 - The Demon’s Head 4x05 - The Blade’s Path 4x06 - Hog Day Afternoon 4x07 - A Day in the Narrows 4x08 - Stop Hitting Yourself 4x09 - Let Them Eat Pie 4x10 - Things That Go Boom 4x11 - Queen Takes Knight Halt and Catch Fire (1) 3x01 - Valley of the Heart’s Delight House of Cards (13) 5x01 - Chapter 53 5x02 - Chapter 54 5x03 - Chapter 55 5x04 - Chapter 56 5x05 - Chapter 57 5x06 - Chapter 58 5x07 - Chapter 59 5x08 - Chapter 60 5x09 - Chapter 61 5x10 - Chapter 62 5x11 - Chapter 63 5x12 - Chapter 64 5x13 - Chapter 65 How to Get Away with Murder (2) 3x10 - We’re Bad People 3x11 - Not Everything's About Annalise Iron Fist (13) 1x01 - Snow Gives Way 1x02 - Shadow Hawk Takes Flight 1x03 - Rolling Thunder Cannon Punch 1x04 - Eight Diagram Dragon Palm 1x05 - Under Leaf Pluck Lotus 1x06 - Immortal Emerges From Cave 1x07 - Felling Tree With Roots 1x08 - The Blessing of Many Fractures 1x09 - The Mistress of All Agonies 1x10 - Black Tiger Steals Heart 1x11 - Lead Horse Back to Stable 1x12 - Bar the Big Boss 1x13 - Dragon Plays With Fire The IT Crowd (5) 4x03 - Something Happened 4x04 - Italian For Beginners 4x05 - Bad Boys 4x06 - Reynholm vs. Reynholm 5x01 - The Final Episode It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (10) 12x01 - The Gang Turns Black 12x02 - The Gang Goes to a Waterpark 12x03 - Old Lady House: A Situation Comedy 12x04 - Wolf Cola: A Public Relations Nightmare 12x05 - Making Dennis Reynolds a Murderer 12x06 - Hero or Hate Crime? 12x07 - PSTDee 12x08 - The Gang Tends Bar 12x09 - A Cricket’s Tale 12x10 - Dennis’ Double Life Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (30) 4x01 - February 12, 2017 (Trump vs. Truth) 4x02 - February 19, 2017 (Russia) 4x03 - February 26, 2017 (Affordable Care Act) 4x04 - March 5, 2017 (Tibet) 4x05 - March 12, 2017 (American Health Care Act) 4x06 - March 19, 2017 (United States Federal Budget) 4x07 - April 2, 2017 (Cannabis) 4x08 - April 9, 2017 (Gerrymandering) 4x09 - April 16, 2017 (2017 French Presidential Election) 4x10 - April 23, 2017 (Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner) 4x11 - May 7, 2017 (Net Neutrality) 4x12 - May 14, 2017 (Dialysis) 4x13 - May 21, 2017 (Stupid Watergate) 4x14 - June 4, 2017 (Paris Agreement) 4x15 - June 11, 2017 (UK General Elections and Brexit Negotiations) 4x16 - June 18, 2017 (Coal Mining and Bob Murray) 4x17 - June 25, 2017 (Vaccine Safety) 4x18 - July 2, 2017 (Local News and Sinclair Broadcast Group) 4x19 - July 30, 2017 (Alex Jones and InfoWars) 4x20 - August 6, 2017 (United States Border Patrol) 4x21 - August 13, 2017 (North Korea Crisis) 4x22 - August 20, 2017 (Nuclear Waste) 4x23 - September 10, 2017 (Joe Arpaio) 4x24 - September 24, 2017 (Corporate Consolidation) 4x25 - October 1, 2017 (Forensic Evidence) 4x26 - October 8, 2017 (Confederate Monuments) 4x27 - October 15, 2017 (Equifax Security Breach) 4x28 - October 29, 2017 (National Flood Insurance Program) 4x29 - November 5, 2017 (Economic Development Incentives) 4x30 - November 12, 2017 (Donald Trump’s Presidency) Legends of Tomorrow (18) 2x09 - Raiders of the Lost Art 2x10 - The Legion of Doom 2x11 - Turncoat 2x12 - Camelot/3000 2x13 - Land of the Lost 2x14 - Moonshot 2x15 - Fellowship of the Spear 2x16 - Doomworld 2x17 - Aruba 3x01 - Aruba-Con 3x02 - Freakshow 3x03 - Zari 3x04 - Phone Home 3x05 - Return of the Mack 3x06 - Helen Hunt 3x07 - Welcome to the Jungle 3x08 - Crisis on Earth-X, Part 4 3x09 - Beebo the God of War Legion (8) 1x01 - Chapter 1 1x02 - Chapter 2 1x03 - Chapter 3 1x04 - Chapter 4 1x05 - Chapter 5 1x06 - Chapter 6 1x07 - Chapter 7 1x08 - Chapter 8 The Lodge (3) 1x01 - The New Girl 1x02 - Reality Check 1x03 - Opportunities Luke Cage (6) 1x08 - Blowin’ Up the Spot 1x09 - DWYCK 1x10 - Take It Personal 1x11 - Now You’re Mine 1x12 - Soliloquy of Chaos 1x13 - You Know My Steez Master of None (5) 2x01 - The Thief 2x02 - Le Nozze 2x03 - Religion 2x04 - First Date 2x05 - The Dinner Party Making History (2) 1x01 - Pilot 1x02 - The Shot Heard Round the World Me, Myself & I (2) 1x01 - Pilot 1x02 - The First Step The Mindy Project (17) 5x08 - Hot Mess Time Machine 5x09 - Bat Mitzvah 5x10 - Take My Ex-Wife Please 5x11 - Dibs 5x12 - Mindy Lahiri Is A White Man 5x13 - Mindy’s Best Friend 5x14 - A Decent Proposal 6x01 - Is That All There Is 6x02 - A Romantical Decouplement 6x03 - May Divorce Be With You 6x04 - Leo’s Girlfriend 6x05 - Jeremy and Anna’s Meryl Streep Costume Party 6x06 - The Midwife’s Tale 6x07 - Girl Gone Wild 6x08 - Doctors Without Boundaries 6x09 - Danny in Real Life 6x10 - It Had to Be You Mr. Mercedes (3) 1x01 - Pilot 1x02 - On Your Mark 1x03 - Cloudy, With a Chance of Mayhem Mr. Robot (10) 3x01 - eps3.0_power-saver-mode.h 3x02 - eps3.1_undo.gz 3x03 - eps3.2_legacy.so 3x04 - eps3.3_metadata.par2 3x05 - eps3.4_runtime-error.r00 3x06 - eps3.5_kill-process.inc 3x07 - eps3.6_fredrick+tanya.chk 3x08 - eps3.7_dont-delete-me.ko 3x09 - eps3.8_stage3.torrent 3x10 - shutdown -r Narcos (4) 1x01 - Descenso 1x02 - The Sword of Simon Bolivar 1x03 - The Men of Always 1x04 - The Palace in Flames New Girl (1) 6x04 - Homecoming The Night Of (7) 1x02 - Part Two: Subtle Beast 1x03 - Part Three: A Dark Crate 1x04 - Part Four: The Art of War 1x05 - Part Five: The Season of the Witch 1x06 - Part Six: Samson and Delilah 1x07 - Part Seven: Ordinary Death 1x08 - Part Eight: The Call of the Wild NTSF:SD:SUV:: (22) 1x01 - One Cabeza, Two Cabeza, Three Cabeza...DEAD! 1x02 - The Birthday Party That Was Neither 1x03 - Exes and Oh-No’s! 1x04 - The Risky Business of Being Alone in Your Home 1x05 - Dolphinnegan's Wake 1x06 - Tijuana, We've Got a Problem 1x07 - Full Hauser 1x08 - Up Periscope, Down with San Diego 1x09 - Cause for ConCERN 1x10 - Piper Doesn't Live Here Anymore 1x11 - Twistin’ the Night Away 1x12 - I Left My Heart In Someone's Cooler 2x01 - 16 Hop Street 2x02 - The Real Bicycle Thief 2x03 - Sabbath-tage 2x04 - Lights, Camera, Assassination 2x05 - Time Angels 2x06 - Whack-A-Mole 2x07 - Robot Town 2x08 - Comic-Con-Flict 2x09 - The Return of Dragon Shumway 2x10 - Family Dies Powerless (9) 1x01 - Wayne or Lose 1x02 - Wayne Dream Team 1x03 - Sinking Day 1x04 - Emily Dates a Henchman 1x05 - Cold Season 1x06 - I’ma Friend You 1x07 - Van vs. Emily: Dawn of Justice 1x08 - Green Furious 1x09 - Emergency Punch-Up Preacher (8) 2x01 - On The Road 2x02 - Mumbai Sky Tower 2x03 - Damsels 2x04 - Viktor 2x05 - Dallas 2x06 - Sokosha 2x07 - Pig 2x08 - Holes Prison Break (10) 4x01 - Scylla 5x01 - Ogygia 5x02 - Kaniel Outis 5x03 - The Liar 5x04 - The Prisoner’s Dilemma 5x05 - Contingency 5x06 - Phaeacia 5x07 - Wine Dark Sea 5x08 - Progeny 5x09 - Behind the Eyes The Punisher (1) 1x01 - 3AM Queer as Folk (UK) (1) 1x01 - Episode 1 Riverdale (7) 1x01 - The River’s Edge 1x02 - A Touch of Evil 1x03 - Body Double 1x04 - The Last Picture Show 1x05 - Heart of Darkness 1x06 - Faster, Pussycats! Kill! Kill! 1x07 - In a Lonely Place Saturday Night Live (2) 42x19 - Chris Pine / LCD Soundsystem 43x03 - Kumail Nanjiani / P!nk Scream Queens (4) 2x07 - The Hand 2x08 - Rapunzel, Rapunzel 2x09 - Lovin’ the D 2x10 - Drain the Swamp Sense8 (11) 2x01 - Happy F*cking New Year 2x02 - Who Am I? 2x03 - Obligate Mutualisms 2x04 - Polyphony 2x05 - Fear Never Fixed Anything 2x06 - Isolated Above, Connected Below 2x07 - I Have No Room in My Heart for Hate 2x08 - All I Want Right Now Is One More Bullet 2x09 - What Family Actually Means 2x10 - If All the World’s a Stage, Identity Is Nothing But a Costume 2x11 - You Want a War? Shadowhunters (20) 2x01 - This Guilty Blood 2x02 - A Door Into the Dark 2x03 - Parabatai Lost 2x04 - Day of Wrath 2x05 - Dust and Shadows 2x06 - Iron Sisters 2x07 - How Are Thou Fallen 2x08 - Love Is a Devil 2x09 - Bound by Blood 2x10 - By the Light of Dawn 2x11 - Mea Maxima Culpa 2x12 - You Are Not Your Own 2x13 - Those of Demon Blood 2x14 - The Fair Folk 2x15 - A Problem of Memory 2x16 - Day of Atonement 2x17 - A Dark Reflection 2x18 - Awake, Arise, or Be Forever Fallen 2x19 - Hail and Farewell 2x20 - Beside Still Water Sherlock (3) 4x01 - The Six Thatchers 4x02 - The Lying Detective 4x03 - The Final Problem Silicon Valley (10) 4x01 - Success Failure 4x02 - Terms of Service 4x03 - Intellectual Property 4x04 - Teambuilding Exercise 4x05 - The Blood Boy 4x06 - Customer Service 4x07 - The Patent Troll 4x08 - The Keenan Vortex 4x09 - Hooli-Con 4x10 - Server Error Smallville (1) 9x06 - Crossfire Stranger Things (9) Supergirl (1) 3x08 - Crisis on Earth-X, Part 1 Superstore (3) 1x01 - Pilot 1x02 - Magazine Profile 1x03 - Shots and Salsa Teen Wolf (6) 6x11 - Said the Spider to the Fly 6x12 - Raw Talent 6x13 - After Images 6x17 - Werewolves of London 6x19 - Broken Glass 6x20 - The Wolves of War Time After Time (2) 1x01 - Pilot 1x02 - I Will Catch You Trial & Error (13) 1x01 - Chapter 1: A Big Crime in a Small Town 1x02 - Chapter 2: A Wrench in the Case 1x03 - Chapter 3: The Other Man 1x04 - Chapter 4: An Unwelcome Distraction 1x05 - Chapter 5: Right-Hand Man 1x06 - Chapter 6: Secrets & Lies 1x07 - Chapter 7: The Case Gets Big 1x08 - Chapter 8: A Change in Defense 1x09 - Chapter 9: Opening Statements 1x10 - Chapter 10: A Hostile Jury 1x11 - Chapter 11: Unusual Suspect 1x12 - Chapter 12: The Defense Rests 1x13 - Chapter 13: The Verdict The Twilight Zone (1) 3x08 - It’s A Good Life Twin Peaks (9) 2x11 - Masked Ball 2x12 - The Black Widow 2x13 - Checkmate 2x14 - Double Play 2x22 - Beyond Life and Death 3x01 - The Return, Part 1 3x02 - The Return, Part 2 3x03 - The Return, Part 3 3x04 - The Return, Part 4 Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (13) 3x01 - Kimmy Gets Divorced?! 3x02 - Kimmy’s Roommate Lemonades! 3x03 - Kimmy Can’t Help You! 3x04 - Kimmy Goes to College! 3x05 - Kimmy Steps on a Crack! 3x06 - Kimmy Is a Feminist! 3x07 - Kimmy Learns About the Weather! 3x08 - Kimmy Does a Puzzle! 3x09 - Kimmy Goes to Church! 3x10 - Kimmy Pulls Off a Heist! 3x11 - Kimmy Googles the Internet! 3x12 - Kimmy and the Trolley Problem! 3x13 - Kimmy Bites an Onion! The Vampire Diaries (2) 8x00 - Forever Yours (Retrospective Special) 8x16 - I Was Feeling Epic Veep (10) 6x01 - Omaha 6x02 - Library 6x03 - Georgia 6x04 - Justice 6x05 - Chicklet 6x06 - Qatar 6x07 - Blurb 6x08 - Judge 6x09 - A Woman First 6x10 - Groundbreaking Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later (8) When We Rise (8) 1x01 - Part I 1x02 - Part II 1x03 - Part III 1x04 - Part IV 1x05 - Part V 1x06 - Part VI 1x07 - Part VII 1x08 - Part VIII Will (7) 1x01 - The Play’s the Thing 1x02 - Cowards Die Many Times 1x03 - The Two Gentlemen 1x04 - Brave New World 1x05 - The Marriage of True Minds 1x06 - Something Wicked This Way Comes 1x07 - What Dreams May Come The Young Pope (10) 1x01 - First Episode 1x02 - Second Episode 1x03 - Third Episode 1x04 - Fourth Episode 1x05 - Fifth Episode 1x06 - Sixth Episode 1x07 - Seventh Episode 1x08 - Eighth Episode 1x09 - Ninth Episode 1x10 - Tenth Episode Total: 675 TV 2016 TV 2015 TV 2014 TV 2013 TV 2012

#tv 2017

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fedoranonymous · 3 years

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Drake & Josh & Justin

Dear Tumblr, I have had the most delightful daydream and I just had to write you about it . ETA: I now have regrets but I spent a lot of time on this

Okay so back when my baby sister lived at home and I could peep her YouTube history, she showed me a video of Drake Bell and Josh Peck hanging out, and they talked about a potential D&J reboot. So that's an idea that's been percolating in my skull for years now.

Also, I don't follow any of the people I'm about to mention at all, but I think Drake was cancelled for a while? Or at least, Josh is way more popular now, that's why (according to my sister at the time) he was on Josh's channel, but for narrative purposes he was Cancelled (tm), and he's trying to have a Redemption Arc, and the show reboot is, in his mind, and Essential part of that arc.

Now, have any of you Star-ving? With David Faustino? The whole point of that show is that David plays himself as an out of work actor making an ass out of himself doing anything BUT going to auditions to try to get the fame and money he thinks he deserves. One episode has him feeling like his chance has come when the sitcom he was on, Married with Children, gets optioned for a reboot, only for him to go and read his first line... And Seth Rogan (I think, IMDb has failed me) also reads it. And Seth has the fall to be like "you know, my friends always said I reminded them of Bud Bundy, so this is like me coming full circle, and getting to play myself" in a line that hase scouring the writing credits of the show because I hope to GOD Dave wrote that himself. The show is genius, you kinda need to be familiar with Married with Children, at least "oh this actor was on that" kind of way, but it's hilarious.

Anyway, we open on the totally legit Drake and Josh reboot and... It's a table read? And, you know, you get the joke, Drake's the last to read and when he does, reading the exact some joke in the exact same tone is... Justin Bieber?!

(I'm starting to think I put enough thought into this to publish it, either on AO3, or by changing the names and selling a casual ebook.... Hmmmmm)

Anyway, Drake starts off with "how could you not tell me you were recasting me? I wrote episode 3." And of course Biebs thinks that this will be a hit because the original D&J is such a hit with his fanbase. I can't in good faith repeat the It's Just So Personally Meaningful bit, but definitely Biebs is trying to be a main character if he can't be Drake.

On the other side of the room, Josh and Miranda are debating which Problematic Fave is more Problematique.... But it's exceptionally petty. "I once saw Drake jaywalk." "One time, I was on the phone with Justin, and he didn't even say goodbye when he hung up." "Fake gasp! Wait, did he hang up without saying goodbye, or did he get disconnected? Because that's an important distinction." "Well he didn't call me back, so." "Fake!!! Gasp!!!"

The conversation eventually turns from which of them is more Problematic to which is more Fave... At which point the obvious solution to have both of them is unanimously agreed upon, without input from Justin or Drake.

So the show within a show, that is to say, the "Drake and Josh Reboot" that "Drake" and "Josh" and "Justin" and "Miranda" are making during the show that we're watching, goes full Two and a Half Men; The Ashton Kutcher Saga. There is NEVER sufficient justification for why Biebs is there. Sometimes he's Drake's roommate, until Drake moves back home? Maybe? And he's just. Still there. He gets the least funny jokes (because Drake is still a writer and they have a Rivalry) and when they do try to use him for plot, it just comes off as weird.

I'm not really sure how to beat utilize Josh, but Miranda? She's not evil. She's not at Fault for the things that befall Drake & Josh & Justin, but she is Responsible.

The last episode features the trending hashtag #MirandaTrustsCops, prompting "actual" Miranda to post a moving essay about how the real world is so much more complicated than any sitcom can hope to convey in it's 22 minutes, but she hopes that at least their show can help lighten the load for a half hour of people's lives... And then it turns out that the reason Meagan called the cops is because Josh, on his way to bail out Drake and Justin yet again, sarcastically deadpans at her "I'm going to kill everyone in this family, and save you for last" while grabbing a chainsaw, prompting Meagan to confess to every nasty thing she did to her brothers as a kid to the cops while crying and insisting Josh has a chainsaw.

The cop thinks Meagan is crazy and is about to arrest her, when.

"ah, well, you see officer, I did say those things, and I did have a chainsaw, but you've got to understand. They're my siblings."

The cop doesn't understand. "Maybe I'm just a only child, but that can't be healthy."

Smash cut!

"Drake?"

"Yeah Josh?"

"How is it that I'm the only person in this family who hasn't broken any federal laws this month, and yet I'm the one that's in jail?"

"well Josh," says Drake. "That... Is a very good question. That the cops can hear. Byee." Drake slips through the bars of Josh's cell and the through the bars on the window. Josh stares at the gaps between the bars, a disgusted yet intrigued look on his face. Justin walks into view.

"Let's get out of here," says Justin.

"You bailed me out of jail?"

"Didn't have to." A shrug. "Unlike Patrol Officer Jameson, Jessie has a brother. Namely, me."

"That explains simultaneously everything and nothing about you."

#eli's writing tag

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news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog · 6 years

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11 of Seth Rogen's funniest moments

Seth Rogen is a gift from above.

The hilarious actor has been working hard to make us laugh since he was just a teen, and he's now become one of the top comedic icons in the industry.

Take a look at Seth Rogen's funniest moments on the internet. They're guaranteed to make you laugh just as hard as one of his movies.

1. Seductive Seth

This GIF of Rogen looking super seductive became an iconic meme that left supermodels all over the world shook. It comes from a parody of Kanye West's "Bound 2" that Rogan and James Franco filmed together called "Bound 3."

In "Bound 3," Seth parodies Kim Kardashian played in the original video, and every time he looks at the camera you can't help but crack up. Kim K beware, Rogen just might come for your spot next.

I’ll never get with the whole thing of a girl sucking on her finger in a picture... I’d look like Seth Rogen trying to look seductive ... 😂 pic.twitter.com/SRUOPQ9g2E

— ❊ alicia ❊ (@_AliciiaRenee) September 24, 2018

The always seductive, Seth Rogen as my #mcm 😂😂😂 #bound3 #parody pic.twitter.com/hfWivEpdUE

— Susan Parker (@suseparka) December 2, 2013

James Franco and Seth rogen made a parody of the Bound 2 music video called Bound 3 pic.twitter.com/rdIDySPMzI

— tam𝔸𝕝𝕖 ♔ 🍂🌧 (@aleeetamaleee) February 8, 2018

2. The way he looks at his wife ... and weed

Seth really likes his cannabis. Even his own mother knows how much he likes it.

But you know what he loves just as much? His wife. The look he gives both of them would make any one out there envious of what he has.

I find it hilarious that Seth Rogen gives his wife the same look he gives weed pic.twitter.com/LnGxAns8Mx

— CLOUD N9NE SYRUP™ (@CloudN9neSyrup) July 31, 2018

3. The dog that Seth Rogen does not own looks like Peter Dinklage

Seth Rogen 1-0 Peter Dinklage pic.twitter.com/6FNTxIaLif

— Free Folk Memes (@FreeFolkMemes) July 25, 2018

This is a weird one. Someone's dog bears an uncanny resemblance to Game of Thrones actor Peter Dinklage. But someone decided to take this image of the dog and slap Seth Rogen's Twitter handle and profile picture to the meme with the caption: "Am I really stoned or does my dog actually look like Peter Dinklage." And funny enough, it still continues to circulate around the internet in this format.

Upon further research, Rogen's actual dog sadly does not look like the one in the meme, and furthermore he never made a tweet using this meme. But if you put "Seth Rogen" on anything, especially with a caption about being stoned, anyone would believe it came form the man himself.

4. This man who kept taking pictures with Seth Rogen every year

For the past four years, a guy named Ted has been taking a picture with Seth Rogen at the Hilarity for Charity benefit event. What's really funny about this photo is that Ted always carries the photo from the year before, and does the same pose each time with Rogen.

It's a pretty strange, but how can Rogen turn down such a dedicated fan? The duo also went pretty viral on Reddit when Ted first posted it on r/Pics in 2017.

5. Every interaction he's had with his mother

Ever miss a phone call or two from your mother and got hell for it? Well, what happened to Rogen was that, and so much more.

Seth's mom Sandy Rogen decided to take to Twitter when Seth didn't pick up his phone. When she tweeted asking for the whereabouts of her son, Seth's response was hilarious and relatable.

When you don't answer your mom's phone calls for a day: https://t.co/qmN9wPD1hZ

— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) October 10, 2017

Aside from missing her phone call, almost every interaction that they have on Twitter is comedy gold.

@Sethrogen seth seth seth.....

— Sandy Rogen (@RogenSandy) March 22, 2015

@Sethrogen that's so great, so proud of your great abilities! Oh lord, please help me!

— Sandy Rogen (@RogenSandy) February 18, 2016

My mom is crushing it! https://t.co/bUq2ayTr8D

— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) December 25, 2017

Awwww! pic.twitter.com/g0WzaZx9In

— Sandy Rogen (@RogenSandy) August 14, 2016

Jesus fucking Christ mom. https://t.co/KJSIlWZMhL

— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) July 5, 2017

6. His hot take on Justin Bieber that went viral

When the Biebs was going through his bad boy phase in 2014, Seth Rogen had enough of the pop star's attitude and behavior. After calling Bieber "a piece of shit" in a tweet, Rogen's opinion went viral all over Twitter.

All jokes aside, Justin Bieber is a piece of shit.

— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) January 23, 2014

After being confronted by multiple media outlets about the comment, Rogen pretty much doubled down. It turns out that both Rogen and Bieber met twice in the past, and both times Bieber's entitled attitude didn't sit well with Rogen.

In Rogen's words during an interview on the Today Show, being a "grown man who doesn't like Justin Bieber" shouldn't be something that's controversial. In fact, he believes it would be weirder if he was an actual Belieber.

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7. Urging Donald Trump Jr. to convince his dad to resign

Seth Rogen and Wiz Khalifa were once guests on Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart's show "Potluck Dinner Party." They all made some delicious fried chicken together, and Martha Stewart talked about how she fed a chicken vodka before she killed it. It was an interesting episode, to say the least.

But what we didn't see behind the scenes was how the three of these stars bonded backstage. In a candid photo posted on Rogen's Twitter page in honor of 420, the trio were seen rolling blunt and blazing up.

I know it’s not 4/20 anymore but I like this picture. When the three of us smoked there was this unspoken thing like “we found each other”. pic.twitter.com/Mmed2bQ5uD

— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) April 21, 2018

The caption for the picture is ironically hilarious, and even Snoop Dogg responded in a similar manner. The power of friendship is strong for this trio, and we're all glad the "found each other" through a common interest.

And in that moment we were at peace.

— Snoop Dogg (@SnoopDogg) April 21, 2018

8. Urging Donald Trump Jr. to convince his dad to resign

No one on Twitter is safe from the wrath of Seth Rogen. In another tweet callout, Rogen noticed that Donald Trump Jr. was following him, and he used it as an opportunity to talk politics with the president's son.

Rogen told Donald Trump Jr. to ask his dad to "resign before he destroys the planet." This tweet was made last year in February, so it's safe to say Jr. never gave his dad the memo.

Yo! @DonaldJTrumpJr! I noticed you follow me on Twitter. Please ask your dad to resign before he destroys the planet. Thanks dude.

— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) February 16, 2017

9. Hijacking someone's tinder

Rogen had no problem playing Cupid for Vanity Fair's "Hijacks a Stranger's Tinder" series on YouTube. A producer named Sheena was asked to offer her phone up to the comedian, and he went to town trying to find her the perfect match.

youtube

Rogen, of course, trolls a bunch of the guys that he matches with, and gets many laughs out of Sheena as she observes. To be fair though, he does have a solid douchebag detector.

10. When he gave us the facts while denouncing white nationalism

As comedian, Rogen is definitely unafraid to tread the territory of dark humor. In a retweet of a story from Raw Story, Rogen cracked a joke about a Rogen doppelgänger that was hospitalized for stab injuries in the feature photo of the piece.

The Rogen lookalike in the photo was actually a bodyguard for a white nationalist who got stabbed nine times at a pro-Trump rally—and he didn't have insurance either. Thankfully, Rogen came through to clarify that he was safe, and he was "NOT a white nationalist" and he does "have health insurance."

Just so everyone knows, I'm NOT a white nationalist, I have NOT been stabbed 9 times, and I DO have health insurance! https://t.co/XgtCWb3nJI

— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) June 23, 2017

11. His response when he was accused being a part of the CIA

Apparently Seth Rogen was an important player in a plan created by the CIA, Obama, and Sony that led to "regime change in North Korea." And it goes without saying Rogen had the best response ever.

You guys, they blew my cover. The CIA is going to be so pissed. https://t.co/7uVTypx2ER

— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) September 7, 2017

When someone offered to help Rogen sue the site, he turned them down and said he was going to quit being a secret agent instead.

Nah I'm just gonna quit.

— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) September 7, 2017

To be honest, this sounds like the perfect plot for another Rogen blockbuster comedy.

WATCH: Super great things you didn’t know about ‘Superbad’

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