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buckysfaveplum · 2 years

Text

between two lungs

chapter 2

summary: y/n is desperate as her coven is in jeopardy. with no one else to turn to, she gives bucky a call

pairing: bucky barnes x witch!female reader

word count: 3.8k

warning: i don’t really think there’s any in this one :)

a/n: y'all thank you so much for your patience with my updates!! i know it's a lot, but my life is so crazy and jam packed rm, it's hard to find time to sit down and write. but chapter 2 is here, hope you like!!!

and pls lmk what you think, comment anything. it truly does encourage me to keep posting when i know you like my stuff <3

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Bucky knew you would owe him one the minute he saw you. It was your fault he had to sit in the car with Sam on the ride back from the airport, listening to him drone on about some old movie Bucky was a dumbass for putting off. It was your fault, not because you asked him to come. Because you had him so under your control, all you had to do was ask and he’d come crawling a thousand miles.

He couldn’t stop thinking about your text, vague as you often were. When he texted back, agreeing to come and asking if you were okay, all he got back was your address. The pit in his stomach wouldn’t go away, just growing and growing with every mile added to Sam’s car. If he didn’t stop bouncing his leg in the passenger seat, he would surely drill a hole through the floor.

“Thanks for coming man, I know it was short notice. But I appreciate it,” Sam said, taking a swig of his coke as they made their way down the highway. Bucky gave him a sharp ‘no problem’ and a quick nod before returning to silence. He couldn’t engage in small talk and cheap conversation, not when you needed him. All of him, all of his focus. Perhaps if he concentrated enough, staring down the endless pavement before them, the time would pass quicker.

“Hey, so how’d you meet a girl in New Orleans anyway?” Sam asked.

After you texted him, Bucky immediately called Sam back. Practically begged him to give him a ride to your place, with a promise that as soon as he was done helping you, he’d assist Sam. His friend understood, was intrigued actually. The idea that Bucky had a secret friend in his home state that he’d never heard of before was too alluring to ignore. He agreed, but only with the compromise that Bucky would be more pleasant to work with than last time.

“A mutual friend,” Bucky said, staring at the trees breezing by in his window.

“Man, I’m your only friend,” Sam said with a laugh. Bucky just gave him a flat look. “Did she say why she needed help?”

Bucky just shook his head. The more he dwelled on your text, the more he began to spiral. You were one of the strongest, most powerful people he knew- whatever you were facing, if you needed to ask him for help it was terrible.

“Do you think it has anything to do with the disappearances we’re tracking?” Sam asked. Bucky froze. “I mean, you did say New Orleans, and lots of the young girls were from there.”

“I didn’t even think of that,” Bucky said. His mind had already begun to divulge down that new path, creating horrifying scenarios he would never have imagined if Sam hadn’t made the connection. “Guess we’ll find out.”

The tarmac was neverending. It seemed as though with every mile they traveled, another was added at the end of the road. Bucky’s old strategy of disassociating no longer seemed to do the trick. Not after his head found a new way to torment him. For the first time, he was glad for Sam’s rambling to keep him distracted.

From what he could remember, Bucky had never been to New Orleans. Maybe he visited briefly during his time as the winter soldier, but some of those memories were beginning to blur together, losing focus and forming into one mass of trauma instead of the old string of torments that used to clutter his mind. But that mass was shrinking, day by day.

There was no way he’d visited the south as a kid. Though he couldn't remember everything from his childhood, he recalled enough to know his family was too poor for a vacation like that. But he’d always heard of the famed city of Louisiana. Of their massive Mardi Gras celebration, soul food, and rich culture. Only good on the list about the city and reasons to go. You were just another one of them.

Bucky loved your visits. The days you’d spend with him in New York were enough to make him forget the drag of his own life. To make him feel secure and at ease. Never did Bucky come to you, you always came to him. To be fair, you had your reasons. You’d tell him that you had some witches from your coven who’d moved up north to the city and that you wanted to check in on them as well. But deep down, he felt like that wasn’t it. You rarely were away from him when in the city, rarely left to be your friends. Deep down, he hoped that maybe- just maybe- you were there just for him.

Walking through the cozy streets, Bucky could tell why you loved your home so much. The city was alive in a way so different from the concrete jungle he was trapped in. Warm buildings of aged brick, flickering neon signs, the swirling iron of gates and railings, every block was bathed in character and charm. He could just picture you walking through, your boots clicking on the pavement, and that bag you wore everywhere swaying at your side.

Sam had found parking near your block, the two of them heading down your street in search of your place. Bucky had no idea where you lived or what it looked like, he just had an address. Bright colored buildings with lush greenery past them, each with a number counting down to yours. Vinery twisted up the aged bricks and knotted around windows. It was so much more inviting than the cold steel of his home.

They approached a large building that sat at the corner of the street. It was impossible to miss its grandiose architecture. The orangy-red brick flashed before them, peaking out from behind the swirling iron railings of the two-story balconies. The aging of the stained glass windows added to the character of what was obviously a very old building. The shudders of the windows a warm black, hanging upon their arched details. Thick greenery was hung all across the balcony, trailing down some spots and twisting around the black poles along the front patio. Among all the beauty of the place was a big forest green door, at the center of the first floor, pushed back by dark stone steps. Marble columns with blooming black and brown details framed the door, obviously added for decor as their glistening shine stood out against the aged charm of the rest of the building.

A small sign hung on the door: “For herbs, oils, and other spiritual needs, find us at the French Market every Saturday!” Bucky recognized the print anywhere, that was your handwriting. If the sign hadn’t clued him in already, the little numbers along the top of the door matched the address you’d sent him. This was it.

“This is it,” Bucky said, shoving his phone in his pocket as he made his way to the door.

“This place is incredible,” Sam said, following behind. “Man, look at these windows!”

Bucky just ignored him, rolling his eyes as he stopped in front of the door. He went to reach for the door knocker but stopped, his vibranium fingers hovering just over the gold latch. What was stopping him? He loved to see you, to hear your voice, and watch as your eyes lit up when you saw him. Nothing could beat the feeling he got when he first saw you when you’d come to visit. That first look as you ran down the street to meet him out front of his building. Like a breath of fresh air after spending months trapped inside.

Maybe he was delaying what he knew would await on the other side of the door. Pain, worry, fear. It always followed him anywhere, anytime. If you needed his help, it was bad. Something terrible had to be behind the thick mahogany doors. Perhaps he just needed a minute to prepare.

“Buck, just knock,” Sam said, crossing his arms over his chest. Bucky took a deep breath before grabbing the latch. Before he could pull back and knock, the door swung open, ripping the latch from his hand.

Suddenly, he had that feeling he loved. Out of nowhere, unprepared and unexpected. There you stood, before him in the doorway. You wore those familiar boots, running up your mid-calf, covered in buttons all the way up; the little charms and strings of beads hanging off the hooks added a little touch that was just you. A pair of rust and black tights covering your legs, soon hidden under a sheer lacey black skirt skimming your shins and another lacey dress layered over top. Bucky always loved how you dressed. You always told him you preferred “used clothes” or vintage, telling him how you thought it was so unfair that beautiful things had to wither just because society had decided to move on to something else. The lacey and silky slips you always wore reminded him of his years as a teen in the 30s, the dresses the same as the nightgowns girls at the time wore. It was familiar but in a completely new way.

He glanced at your hands on the door. A dozen gold rings stacked atop your fingers, with different crystals adorning each. Little bracelets of gold and leather and ribbons wrapped around your wrists; they always made a soft clanking noise when you spoke, waving your hands in a way only you did.

He ventured up, making his way to your face. Just like your hands, you had a couple of necklaces layered around your neck. The gold chains drawing his eyes to your collarbones, peaking out from the wide necklines of the slips. Finally, he met your eyes. Your kind y/e/c eyes stared back at him. It had been too long since he saw them.

“Hi,” you said, giving him a wide smile. Your words pulled Bucky from his trance, remembering where he was.

“Hey,” he said with a smirk.

You turned your attention to Sam behind him, taking a step forward and stretching out your arm to introduce yourself. Your body grazed Bucky’s as you did so, the smell of your perfume hitting his nose. A deep blend of teakwood, rose, and bergamot.

“I’m Y/n,” you said to Sam, shaking his hand.

“Sam,” he said.

You pulled back, giving Bucky a quick smile before welcoming them inside. Bucky didn’t miss how urgently you slammed the door behind them, watching as you did up all the locks.

The home was massive, much bigger than it seemed on the outside- if that was even possible. The dark green walls decorated with antique paintings and photographs, each wrapped in a gold frame. Same as the exterior, the interior was full of luscious plants, filling every little cranny that was left empty. Bucky could only imagine how hard it was to keep them all alive. On the walls not covered in paintings, there were towering bookshelves, lined with antique-looking texts. Little trinkets and objects also sat on the shelves, things Bucky would never be able to name. The stained glass of the windows allowed the bright light of the sun to shine through, bouncing off the velvet chairs and couch and showering the spiral staircase leading to the next floor. Decorative rugs were thrown over the dark hardwoods, making Bucky self-conscious of his old combat boots on top of the Moroccan throws. It was beautiful, ornate, and unique, just like you. It was so fitting that you lived there.

“Make yourself at home,” you said, pacing around the living room. Bucky could immediately see the anxiety radiating off of you. You never were good at hiding what you were feeling, at least not from him. He watched as you fidgeted with the maroon polish on your nails, peeling it off in little chips at your cuticles.

Sam sat on the couch, you eventually came to sit in one of the chair across from him. Bucky stayed on his feet, too alert and concerned to get comfortable. Just as awkward as he always was.

“So, I gotta ask, how do you know the cyborg?” Sam asked, smiling at you. You chuckled, biting your lip as you gave Bucky a look. He just rolled his eyes again.

“Um, through Steve,” you said.

“Wait, you knew Steve? How?” Sam asked.

“Well, after the Chitauri invaded New York, I guess Shield was on the lookout for more ‘enhanced’ individuals. We seemed to pique their interest. They sent down Steve and we talked,” you started.

Bucky watched as you explained what happened all those years ago. He knew it all of course, but it was still a little foreign to hear you tell it all again. The two of you rarely discussed Steve anymore. After you got to know each other and grew closer, it was clear how much Steve’s leaving hurt him. You didn’t see any point in dwelling on the past any longer. And to Bucky, you were here and Steve wasn’t.

“We wanted nothing to do with Shield or the government, no offense,” you said, giving Sam a little smirk.

“I get it,” he scoffed with a laugh.

“Our coven has protected and served this city for centuries, even if the people didn’t know. We didn’t need Shield and Fury coming in and sticking their nose in something they didn’t understand. Steve turned a blind eye, he understood. And I guess, we just stayed in contact.”

“Coven? Wait, so you’re-”

“Yeah, witches.”

Bucky bit back a little laugh at Sam’s dumbfounded face.

“I mean I figured it was pretty obvious. The books, the sign on the door, the fucking shelf of herbs and potions behind you?” you said with a giggle.

Sam turned to see said shelf, nodding as he soon understood.

“Oh, and also,” you started. Sam turned back over to look at the chair you were sitting at. Only to watch as your figure disappeared from the seat. Not with a flash, no big bang or smoke or sparkles like he’d come to expect with some members of the former team. Just gone in a poof.

“Teleportation could give it away,” you said, tapping on Sam’s shoulder from behind. He spun around, jumping to his feet in fright. You chuckled as you watched him catch his breath. A smirk grew on Bucky’s face as he watched you show off. He was always amazed by what you could do, whenever you decided to show him.

As Sam calmed down, a bit of laughter coming from him as he relaxed, you came back to your seat. Bucky couldn’t help but notice that anxious, somber mood settling back on your face.

“So, your text,” Bucky said, giving you a soft but stern look. You bowed your head, the heaviness of your situation soon coming back to the forefront of your mind.

“Witches have been disappearing along the lakes around the city. It’s been happening sporadically for a while, but things have picked up. We know it’s not witch hunters, they haven’t been a problem since heroes like you guys started popping up. Three of my sisters have gone missing, at first, we thought they left of their own will but our High Witch felt their magic fading. Our coven is fading. Something bad is going on and I don’t know how to investigate this or handle this myself.”

As you finished, Bucky came over to stand by your chair. Giving your shoulder a soft squeeze, pushing you to continue.

“Our magic is old, we operate on a balance between dark and light magic. Each witch is called to one side as she ages. Many choose light, we can control the balance and keep things safe. But when the dark side gets too strong, it’s dangerous for everyone. Our High Witch was convinced these disappearances are connected to dark magic,” you said.

“High Witch, what is that?” Sam asked, leaning forward and resting his arms on his knees.

“The most powerful witch in our coven. She leads us and protects us all.”

“Well, you did the right thing reaching out. I was working on a case I called Bucky down for, and I think we’re investigating those same disappearances. Working together would be the best idea,” Sam said with a kind smile.

“You’ll really help?” you asked, looking up at Bucky. He gave you that same look he always did, one of adoration and care. Sometimes he wondered if you could tell how devoted he was to you just by his face.

“Of course, doll,” he said.

“I think the best start would be to talk with your, ‘High Witch’ was it? Get as much information as we can,” Sam said.

Your throat went dry at his words. The room was suddenly fuzzy and suffocating. You could feel the blood pounding between your ears, your boots were too tight, the rings on your fingers too cold, the velvet of the chair too itchy on your back. You could feel the building panic blooming in your chest, banging and clawing to get out.

Bucky’s brows furrowed as he watched your foot begin to tap, your knee bouncing, and your hands shaking. He knew you, he knew when you were stressed, scared, upset. He wanted to get down on his knees, take your hands in his, and press soft kisses to your knuckles. To pull you close and tell you everything would be okay. That he wouldn’t rest until you and your family were safe. You did so much for him; held him as he cried and pulled him out of some of the darkest places in his mind. He wanted nothing more than to do the same for you.

“Um, oh! I forgot, let me get you both some tea. I’m such a shitty host,” you said, a subtle southern accent dripping out as you frantically spoke.

Before Bucky could say anything, you rushed off around the corner and into the kitchen. He turned to his friend, exchanging a concerned and confused look. After giving you a moment, he made his way to the kitchen.

He watched from the doorway as your hands bounced from cabinet to cabinet. Pulling out a teapot, then cups, then a tray. You zipped through drawers, pulling out little jars of what Bucky could only assume was tea. The way your fingers trembled and struggled to a pot to the faucet wasn’t lost on him. He waited til you’d placed a pot at the stove before making his presence known with a soft knock on the doorframe.

You turned to meet his eyes, seeing the kind smile and blue-eyed gaze you’d come to love. You motioned him in with the quick cock of your head before going back to your task.

The beauty of your home just kept leaving Bucky awestruck. The kitchen carried the same dark green as the living room into the cabinets. With dark floors and a hardwood ceiling looming overtop. The walls were a soft cream with the textured swirls of the plaster left visible. Copper pots and pans hung from a rack on the ceiling, maps and charts hung along the walls, and flowers covered the marble countertops. Bucky didn’t even have to look around to know there were even more plants trailing down the shelves next to the pantry.

“Your place is really something, Y/n,” he said, coming to rest on the marble island behind you.

“This home has been in our coven for generations,” You said as you pulled the steaming pot off the stove. “The whole coven used to live here at once, but not anymore. Just a few of us.”

Bucky watched as you opened a jar with a decorative border full of roses wrapped around the top. The loose bits of tea spilled into a small strainer overtop your teapot. Your fingers continued to shake as you poured the hot water through the strainer and into the teapot.

“You know, you’re the first not witch to step foot in this kitchen- well, to be invited in at least. It’s a house rule, no outsiders beyond the living room,” you said.

“Look at you, breaking all the rules, huh?” Bucky said with a smirk.

He wished he could take his words back when he saw your face. You placed the pot on the countertop and buried your face in your hands. Tears began to spill over as you could no longer hold everything in. Bucky rushed over, his frame looming at your side as he debated what to do.

“Hey, babydoll, what’s wrong?” He said, taking your shoulders in his hands. You tried to hide your face as the tears kept flowing, but he wouldn’t allow it. Gently, he slipped his vibranium hand to your cheek, hoping the cool of the metal would help calm you down. “Doll, please, talk to me.”

Slowly, you peeled your hands from your face. Your feet shuffled you closer to him as you took his dog tags in your hands, fidgeting with the plates as you tried to steady your breathing. All those nights you sat with Bucky as he fell apart in your arms flooded the front of your mind. You couldn’t help but wonder if each time he came to tears in your presence he felt the same way you did then. Ashamed, childish, and pitiful.

“She’s gone, Buck,” you whispered, though your word came out as more of a whimper through your tears.

“Who’s gone, doll?” Bucky asked.

“Allegra, our High Witch. She’s dead.”

More tears began to flow at your confession. You pressed your face into the crook of Bucky’s neck as you cried, dampening the neckline of his henley. Your frame shook as you felt his strong arms come to wrap you closer to his chest. The plates of his vibranium fingers roamed across your spine and shoulder blades.

“What happened, Y/n?” Bucky asked, after giving you a moment to collect yourself. Through sniffles and hiccups, you pulled back and let out a trembling breath.

“We don’t know, I found her along the bayou swamps. She could barely speak, she…” Bucky didn’t let you finish, seeing as your voice began to shake again.

“Hey, breathe, it’s gonna be okay,” he said, taking your face in his hands.

“That’s why I called you, I don’t know how to handle this on my own. I don’t know how to save my coven,” you said, leaning into his touch.

“It’s not all on you, babydoll. We’re gonna help you.”

Your lips began to quiver again, slick with tears. Bucky’s thumbs brushed along your cheekbones, trying to keep your breathing steady.

“It is on me though, Buck,” you said.

“Why?” he asked.

“Because I’m the new High Witch.”

---

taglist:

@lanabobananna @baby-banana @mattymurdocksbitch @themorningsunshine @skyfullofinfinities @hotleaf-juice @ethreal-love @animegirlgeeky @newgirlintheneighborhood @ka-x-in @weirdowithnobeardo @iminlovewithenchilidadas @verygraphicink @rayofsuunshiine @eve-dusk @f-ergj @marchtothefuckingsea @marvelbitch1332 @cyanide-hysteria @emmabarnes @sebsgirl71479 @mcsnig @charmedbysarge @cowboibeepbeep @ugz4dayz @rhiamaymay @bitterstar88 @cjand10 @wbyss @deandreamernp

(extended taglist posted immediately after)

(if you asked to be tagged and are not seen here, pls message me. it's likely because your username didn't come up)

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #fanfiction #marvel #tfatws #fanfic

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worldhell · 5 months

Text

♛ WORLDHELL ━━━━ laws.

INTERACTION.

mutuals only. I don't follow minor muns because I am in my mid twenties. if I follow you it means I want to write, so come kick my ass if I have yet to send anything to you. I am open to starter calls (from however long back), inbox memes (from however long back + at random), and plotting (just hit me up for my discord or over IMs whichever you prefer!). I write with crossover characters (though I may be selective) and original muses (lets make them canon now bby). basic etiquette applies. mun doesn't equal muse. I will always have my own portrayal for my characters and no I don't take influence from other writers - it's just very common for multiple people to take points from the character and series to adapt into portrayal and writing.

ACTIVITY.

I work a full time job and have a lot of adult responsibilities to attend to, so my activity can be sporadic. I try check dash as often as I can. my timezone is also GMT+8 so I am usually more active when people aren't online. I can take a hot second to get back to people ooc just because I am both nervous or my social battery is drained from rl.

MUSES.

I am prone to add a lot of muses. and I do often forget to write up their bios. as I go along building them I usually try and add information to their pages. I write my canon muses here and my original muse on a separate single blog (on that note: don't feel pressured to follow that blog because you follow me here. I am p happy just plodding along on that blog and vibing in my area if ocs aren't your thing) please do specify musein comments for starter calls or when you send things to my inbox. not specifying = I give you floch by default as punishment.

PLOTTING AND THREADS.

I try not to drop any threads and will respond to them all even if it's been awhile. never feel pressured to respond back if it has been too long, but I will try my best to always write back. I have no cap for threads, and I am so happy to leave anything if we lose the vibe for it! it will always be etched into my character's canon even if the thread isn't complete. I wing a lot of threads to see what my character does, but I am also open to plotting scenarios and bonds! I struggle to put my thoughts down so bear with me on that, or I just ramble and scream random things.

SHIPPING.

I am always very receptive to the idea of shipping. that doesn't specifically mean romantic either, because there's so many different kinds of bonds. romantic shipping I do enjoy if our characters mix - I also like the entire build, which means it's not always just soft and fluff, because we as humans we be build different. and often it's not about saying I love you, but showing it in characters own unique ways. I won't ship anything romantic with vets and 104th etc. don't force ship.even if our muses are interested in each other in canon I prefer to build towards that (this won't apply so much to characters who are married in canon). that being said please feel free to reach out! I am super friendly and happy to see if our muses end up vibing. shipping with ocs is the same. if our muses are vibing that way then absolutely open to discussing! I don't consider flirting forced shipping, or someone having a one-sided crush. as long as the mun themselves aren't trying to force something with that, then I actually have a lot of fun with that kind of dynamic!

DARK THEMES & NSFW.

the series is full of dark themes ranging from war, violence, gore, death, abuse, mental health, etc. and they won't be ignored. I do my best to tag the heavier content. things I won't touch are incest, noncon, etc. you know the drill. NSFW content is written given all my current muses are of age (if I add minor characters, this definitely does not apply to them) and found on my sideblog listed in my pinned post.

DRAMA.

Don't care just don't be a sus or shitty person pls

FOLLOWING / UNFOLLOWING.

if we haven't interacted over a decent period of time I usually do a little blog sweep to keep my dash for my rp partners - I am also not strict about this because I do know we have lives outside rp, and often make a little post before I do anything. I usually base my follows of who my mutuals interact with and if the mun seems chill. again if you are someone that vague posts or starts drama then I don't follow / I unfollow.

I swear I am so friendly even though I am so spacey at the best of times. I appreciate you all very much <3 if you need or want anything / or even just need to discuss something with me, once again come fly kick me. as long as we act like adults and use basic decency, let us vibe c:

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husbandohunter · 3 years

Note

Dottore with short drabble “You only ever brought me pain and I’m sick of it.”

Something angsty pls? Thank you!

Tainted Glass [Dottore x Reader/Genshin Impact]

Synopsis: Can you escape the prison you made?

(A twisted Cinderella story. The girl was covered in cinders because she was fatally addicted to drowning in flames.)

Warnings: angst, emotional abuse, violence, death

(A/n): To be honest anon, I didn’t know what the word ‘drabble’ means until I googled it. I uh...hope you don’t mind the length :>

-----------------------

You fell back against the cold hard floor with your arms bent and head turned sideways. The stinging pain spreads across your cheek. It burns. But your mind was still trying to register what had just came into fruition.

Why?

The thought was so foreign somehow as if you could hardly believe he was doing this. But then the scene plays in your head again. You froze, your gaze enlarged and clueless while staring at the pale ground as it slowly begins to darken in the seeping movement of his menacing, haunting shadow.

"Insolent woman, you wretch!" He spat in a disgusted tone, "How dare you speak to me in such demanding manner? Have I already told you, only talk when you have something important to say?"

You didn't respond, rather you merely let the strands fall in front of your vision as you gingerly pressed your hand against the place where he hit you.

I…don't quite understand…

Dottore glowers down at your hunched form. He was never a man known for the virtue of patience. This man, the one who calls him your husband, you learned a long time ago to not meet his eyes as they would signal a hint of dominance amidst his authority, especially during moments like these. You came to feel his eyes instead, they were usually intense and full of wrath, sometimes crazed and curious while looking at his finest creations. He always loved experimenting in his labratory. After all, it was the only thing that could truly make the madman smile.

What is it that I'm missing? Where did I go wrong?

And you would do anything to obtain at least a fraction of the love he had left in his heart.

He marches onward with heavy footsteps, paying no mind to your well-being, "Tch get out of my sight. I don't have the time to entertain with anymore these theatrics."

At the sound of him leaving you darted your attention towards him, "Wait, come back. Come back, " you plea softly, "Hector…" But he ignores your call. The back of your fiance disappears behind the door and slams it with a resounding thud. He was gone. You couldn't save him.

"No," As a result, you burried your face into your palms and cried.

“I'm sorry.”

…

What is love?

Being raised in one of the most prestigious bloodlines of Fontaine, a life filled with riches since your parents were well known scholars throughout Teyvat, they provided you and your family with everything you needed. From exquisite dishes to priceless jewelry, yet even among those riches you never did find an answer to your question. They were tangibles and short-lasting, eventually leaving you with nothing until the glass of your heart was filled empty. They seemed to have cared more about their fortune along with the brightest child of their family line, your brother, a male heir, someone who fulfilled their expectations where you couldn't do so. And because he was able to give them what they wanted, he was loved.

I see, love is conditional.

Realizing that you possessed no talent to achieve what your brother had accomplished, you came to accept that you were undeserving of their love. Love was for the smart. Love was for the gifted. Love was for everything you are not. There was no place for your kind and thus you locked yourself up in your bedroom chambers along with your fragile heart where no one would try to find you, picking up the books upon the shelves and getting lost in their fantasies.

They told you many beautiful things about the world and many reasons why it was so tragic. Because they weren't real. The story begins with a princess who was a kind-hearted soul, deprived from the care of her evil stepmother and dreams of marrying a prince from a land far far away. They often end on a happily ever after with the princes finding her one true love. You've never seen anything like it. Where two people, despite the struggles they went through, loved each other unconditionally.

Unconditional love only exists in dreams.

Or so you thought to believe.

One day a man marched right at the doorsteps of your mansion. He was a student coming all the way from Sumeru Academia and had high hopes of building a business partnership with your father. The man was declined of course, you watched from the garden bushes as he was sent off back into his carriage. He stops abruptly and turns his head ajar to catch your figure, his inquisitive eyes were both striking and sharp. Like thorns of a rose that was ready to prick anyone who dares to come close. Even so, they made a very lasting impression.

Red eyes.

It was the first time that someone had looked your way.

Couple of months later, the government had arranged a grand ball where all nobles would gather and commit to building their social circle. Useless events. There was no reason for you to engage. While your parents were occupied with the latest gossips and your brother surrounded by fathers who were eager to marry their daughters to him, you snuck outside to the balcony and hid away from the crowd. Quiet at last. And as things should be. The moon was your only friend because she was just like you; half empty. Maybe that was why you still had a glimmer of hope for the other half to be filled.

Part white, you inquired, pristine and untainted. From far away it looked similar to snow.

"My, how pleasantly surprising."

While the other part was stained with black cinders.

You glanced over your shoulder to see a man leaning against the pillar. His mint coloured bangs were slicked back in a trendy fashion, complimenting the white suit he adorned himself with. The golden chains hanging around his ebony boots dangled and clanged with each step he took forward until the light finally reveals his face.

"You seem familiar," you say while squinting your eyes, "Are you the person my father rejected back in February?"

He quirks one brow and you were afraid if you had offended him. But before you could utter an apology, the man splits his lips into a toothy grin and bursts out into a maniac-like laughter. He was completely insane, you thought to yourself. Though he paid no mind to your discomfort and continued to dwell in his amusement, "Hahaha straightforward, I like it! So what if I am? Is it a requirement to be a noble for me to simply have a chat?"

"And if I may ask why?"

"Hmmm, why?" The man reaches for the balcony and presses his back there. He threw his head backward before drilling his ruby gaze into yours, "I too am not fond of annoying crowds. Those snobbish fools thinking they're above everyone else just because they have a couple of mora when that is all they are worth. It's almost too hilarious for my own good."

You could tell there was disdain in his tone. Mainly towards your father who were one of the many unkind nobles of Fontaine and was only liked because of his success. Gripping your hands upon the stone railings, you looked down at the distant trees below while the wind rustled them apart, "I can't deny that," you say dissapointedly, "It's common for nobles not to associate with lower classes as it could potentially ruin their image. Though I may not have been there but I'm sure you had much to offer in terms of your brilliance, erm, Mister…?"

"Hector," Hector placed a palm on his chest with a polite bow following suit, "Hector Dufour-Lapointé. It is a pleasure to make you an acquaintance Lady (Y/n)."

"You know my name?"

"How could I not?" Hector smirks lazily as he danced around you, "I saw you before hiding behind the rose bushes back in your estate. Quite curious why you didn't attempt to say hello."

He even remembers that too. You fiddled with the fabric of your dress, "My apologies. I'm not use to socializing so much."

“Is that so? I think you're not giving yourself enough credit," he complimented while shrugging, "This is much more entertaining than hanging in that insufferably crowded room, it was an unexpected occurence to meet you here of all places. However, I must say time can fly if I'm able to enjoy myself."

You shifted away from his stare, "You flatter me. We've only been talking for a few minutes."

"I have yet to realize it then" Hector's cheerfulness remains at stance despite your gloomy response. He leans forward like a curious child and tosses you a question, "Then allow me to ask, what brings you out here Lady (Y/n)? I don't see any reason when your family are such highly respected people of Fontaine."

"I'm not like them!" You retort instantly, causing the man to glance at you with skepticism, "I mean, I have nothing to do with them and they have nothing to do with me. That's just how it is. They already have Clement after all…"

Why am I telling him this?

"Ah your brother I assume. Yes so I've heard much about his genius mind. There were a few instances where he and I collaborated at Sumeru Academia," Hector speaks as if regarding to his unpleasant memories, "Although he never said anything about having a sister."

"We're not that close. And I'm not very fond of him," you confessed bluntly.

"Neither am I," Hector agreed with a scowl, "He claims his position using the knowledge derived from history books but never tries to think beyond the norm. That ignorant mindset of his will surely be his downfall one day."

"Ignorance can lead to anyone's downfall. If they turn a blind eye to the truth, so much can be taken from them," you paused shortly from rambling too much, "That's what I read in books at least."

"As expected of your lineage," he sighs whimsically, "Such avid readers."

"Well my family prefers documents and research. I've gone through them too but I will always love reading fiction."

"Ha! Seems you really are trying to be different from the rest of your family."

Seconds turn to minutes and minutes to hours, you had already forgotten about the cold breeze despite your dress being less than ideal for the outdoors. The man, although he can be a little to blathering at times, was more than what seemed to be on the surface. At first you thought of him as someone here to take advantage of your relations to your father but he seemed so sincere when listening to your stories, so eager while expressing his thoughts and even made you laugh a couple of times. You didn't realize that the clock had already struck twelve as the guests were preparing to leave but you just weren't ready to do the same.

"Until next time (Y/n)," he takes your fingers and pressed a kiss on top of them, though you were more struck by how he addressed you without honorifics, "I look forward to speaking with you again."

A warm smile graces your lips as you cursty, "Likewise Hector. Thank you for listening to me. I know I must have taken a long time."

Hector sneered but you already learned that it was simply his way of expressing amusement, "Hardly. I was thoroughly entertained."

When your parents found out about your meeting with him, they made it clear that you would never see him again. Hector Dufour-Lapointé is what he calls himself but the real name behind this man was Hector Valliere who came from a village hidden in the west of Fontaine. Rumours said that he was chased out of his hometown by an angry mob, claiming him to be a madman conducting unethical experiments on humans. Shortly after his arrival in Sumeru, he abandoned his past identity and replaced it with a new one in order to enter the academy under legal supervision. Associating with a man of a suspicious reputation would only cause harm to your family's name. Though you could barely care much about their reputation. There was nothing for you to benefit from it.

Few weeks have passed and you evetually gave up on the thought of hearing from Hector. They were only fleeting moments, nothing more. Your routine would stay the same as you kept on plucking more books off the shelves, killing whatever time you had. However the activities you used to enjoy somehow lost it's flair and there would be a slight pain in your chest whenever you turn to a page with the princess as she is surrounded by her friends. What exactly changed? Your family still treated you the same. Did you suddenly grow bored from doing the same thing everyday? Why is it that you feel much more lonelier despite being alone for so long? It was hard to tell in a singular perspective. If only there was someone here to give you some insights on things you couldn't see…

A silver bird lands by your front window and you nearly fell out of your chair as it flapped their wings violently. A machine?! They dropped what seems to be an envelope within the thick bushes before taking off and buzzing into the evening sky. You switched off the lock and lifted the glass within a single movement, snatching the piece of paper so that the wind wouldn't blow it away. Hastily you opened it. Both curious and cautious of why would anyone send you mail in such a discreet approach.

Chère Mademoiselle (Y/n),

I can only imagine the shock of your expression once reading this letter. I'm only writing to you since I assume that your father had already told you those nasty rumours about my past. No matter. I trust that you have a good head on your shoulders to not prejudge people using such miniscule details. I wish to speak with you again. Unless you have other plans staying in that stuffy room of yours, meet me behind the clock tower at 11:00 p.m. Don't be late.

Bien à vous,

"It really is him!" The happiness spreads all across your features as you clutched the letter to your chest. For some reason, your heart wouldn't stop racing. It was a simple yet thoughful action on his part but despite how short his greeting was, every word held the weight of a thousand sparks, "I…I can't stop smiling."

And without hesitation, you prepared to leave. No one noticed your absence.

-------

It was only halfway where you realized that Hector didn't give many details redgarding why he planned this sudden event. You caught sight of him standing under the roofs with his hands hidden behind his back. He had on his signature lopsided grin, brows uneven as he glanced at you casually.

"How very punctual, were you so eager that you couldn't wait?" He teases.

"I was surprised when your bird knocked upon my window," you inform, "Is it something urgent?"

"Not at all. I merely wanted to catch up with old times," Hector tilts forward to emphasize his suggestion, "Care to indulge me for a bit?"

You crossed your arms, "Then what is it that you're hiding behind your back?"

"Hmm?" He hums, "You mean this?"

"Ah!"

Roses. A bouquet of bright red flowers were presented to you, nicely wrapped in fabric. In the language of Fontaine, recieving them could mean multiple of things and you couldn't help but feel hesitant despite his thoughtful gesture, "Why are you giving me this?"

"Is it so wrong for me to be a gentleman? I thought it would be best to prepare you a gift after you put all that effort to come out in such a late hour," Hector mused to himself, "Especially when you had to make sure no prying eyes would catch us."

You let out a small laugh before accepting the bouquet, "I wouldn't go as far to say that."

"Oh?" Although it was hard to see, Hector managed to catch a glimpse of your flushed cheeks hidden behind the flowers. A darken smirk climbs onto his face at the inviting thought of what it could mean, "Tell me more."

The whole night you both spent walking around the empty plaza with only the stars as your guide. They paved a silver path reflected in the horizon above, free flowing like one of the many watercolour paintings hung in your chambers, uncertain where they may lead but you followed them regardless. If it weren't for Hector's inivtation you might have never known about the parts of your city due to the restricted lifestyle you lived. He listened to every one of them. The stories you had to tell when there was no one for you to talk to and the complaints about your brother whenever he wanted to snitch on your actions just to get the praise out of your father. You expressed your frustrations when speaking about your incompetences, joy after reading a good fairytale book written by your favourite author, there was so much to say that you were worried if Hector soon grew tired from them.

"Go on. I'm listening."

And your heart flutters again. Suddenly everything felt so light with each step you took, it was as if you walked across the stars in the sky rather than the heavy pavement of the ground you called your home. But even if happiness was a bliss, it tormented you. Because companionship made you realize how poor your were all along. That you had everything yet you had nothing, slowly withering away like the roses you held in your hand. Convinced that your existence was worth nothing more than nothing itself. Doomed to be dismissed and forgotten. Rotting away...Hector stays by your side as you cried softly into the night.

From a distance the bell rings and echoes just like the time before during Fontaine's grand ball. Hector shows you a secret route so that no one could find you.

"Will you write to me again?"

The request was so innocent, purely from genuine intentions and devoided of anything he had in mind. Hector would always laugh in these situations when things have gone unexpectedly yet pleasingly his way but held back knowing that it would be foolish to waste such a priceless opportunity. And so he gave you his smile, one full of secrets where you had mistakened it as a promise, "Of course my dear."

Every night you could no longer fall asleep since he had occupied your thoughts completely. Sometimes you'd dream of him and their tales would unfold similarly to the ones you have read. It gone to the point where the maids would have to wake you up during late afternoons due to the dramatic change in your sleep schedule. Though, you didn't care what they did to you. As long as no one found out about your secret rendezvous.

You never thought that there'd be a day where you would voluntarily give up reading your beloved fairytales. They were now replaced by a stash of his letters that have been accumulated over the past few months. You read them each day, pacing back and forth within the walls of your room, whispering his sentences as if he were the one saying them to you. He made you feel special. You were addicted to this feeling. Eventually you managed to memorize his words by heart.

The pages of your diary were filled with notes. Like your very own fairytale carved into reality. From the rose petal, now dried, to the hairpin he snatched from a distracted merchant and a single strand of his hair you found within your cloak after a warm embrace, all of these items, a remnant of the man you loved were taped up in these pages. Sometimes you could even feel his prescence because it was all you needed. It didn't matter if Clement threw insults about how worthless your existence was, your parents could lock you in this prison if they wanted to but they shall never take away Hector from you. Never. You swear it. He was your whole world and the prince who saved you from a life made of aching emptiness. You would do anything to keep him by your side. Anything to gain his affection.

Anything.

"I had a feeling that you were the culprit dear sister."

Your arms stutters as they clutched tightly on the scrolls you took off from the shelves. The light crept into the room like arms reaching out to clutch around your ankles, warning you for trespassing. You turned around dreadfully to see Clement pressing his shoulder against the doorframe with his arms folded and a wicked expression aimed at your pitiful state.

"Why…Why are you still awake?" You say in disbelief, "I thought everyone was asleep."

"Please. Not only are you shameless but hypocritical as well. You truly are a dissapointment to our family."

"Wait," taking a step forward, you stopped him before he makes his exit, "I'll put them back. Just don't tell father about this."

But like your parents, your brother was unkind. Clement doubles over and hugs his torso, cackling through his teeth, "Is that how it is?" He swipes his arm up and you see a parchment paper held between his fingers.

"No!"

"Ma chérie (Y/n). I must say all this tenacious effort of sneaking in my letters to your window is becoming more and more tiresome. But of course, you are an exception. I want the scrolls you've mentioned the other day at my lair tomorrow evening. Make sure no one discovers this. I'm counting on you. Cordialement! Hector."

"No…" you whispered, feeling the weight of the world fall upon your shoulders as it shattered apart. Hector. If possible, you hoped that the pieces could just crush you right then and there. Your knees felt weak and a fright takes over but despite your turmoil, Clement didn't show a shred of sympathy.

"So this is why you've been acting odd lately. Pathetic," he flaps the paper tauntingly in his grasp, "I can't decide if I should be impressed or baffled by your actions. A secret romance with a criminal and the bloodline of Fontaine's most respected government associates? Even though you've hit rock bottom, you still decided to dig deeper."

"Clement you don't understand!" Stumbling upon your footsteps, you desperately tried to convey your predicament even if it meant feeding his ego, "Hector is not the man you think. He was shunned by the people of his hometown, treating him as if he were nothing. They…They ignored him! All this time he needed someone to recognize his brilliance, someone to understand." Shakily, you brought your tensed arms to your chest and screamed a silent whisper, "Someone to listen but no one did. He must have felt so alone…"

Clement flinches when you suddenly clutched onto his biceps. When he looked into your eyes, a shiver ran down his spine.

"Hector is counting on me. I'm the only one who can save him. No one else. He needs me Clement, he needs me!"

"Tch."

An ear-splitting scream of his hand against your face echoes across the room. It knocked you out of your stance and you bumped into the table, grunting while the scrolls to tumbled to the floor.

"Crazy woman, I'm embarassed to be related to you!"

While you were still trying to regain your balance, your brother had already ran off. It wouldn't be long before he alerted your parents, the clock ticking away like sand until the final hour leaves you with nothing but an empty glass.

"No," despair swallows the strength away from your legs and you crawled towards where he used to stand, "Don't take him away from me…I need him…"

I can't live without him.

Tears begin to form by the corners of your eyes as you clenched your teeth. This was no time to cry. Balling your fists, you sprinted out of the room, pushing whatever stood in your way as if you were running for your life.

And if you considered everything else, it wasn't that far from the truth.

-------

"Hector! Hector are you there?" After arriving upon his house, you began knocking on his door aggressively. The lock clicks and you were greeted by an evidently annoyed man gnawing his teeth together.

"Tsk. There better be a good reason-"

"They're coming for us! We have to go. Now. Before it's too late. My father is probably already waking and making arrangements for you to-"

"Enough, I can't even catch what you're saying," He pinches the bridge of his nose while you were still stuck in a frenzy state. He takes a step back and opens the door wider, gesturing for you to come inside, "Get in already. I have a feeling that this will be a long night."

Hector observes intently at the words you tell him.

Not out of concern but akin to the way he watches the insects react when he exposes them to a different environment.

He was a scientist after all. A madman in which you deliberately fell in love with, so much to the point that he was able to feel pity for once. How you trusted him wholeheartedly with all of your vulnerabilities, emotions and secrets like handing him your parts just so he could put you back together again. Tinkering was always one of his favourite hobbies and he couldn't help but feel a twisted sense of pride at the thought of you being completely wrapped around his finger.

Perhaps that was the reason why he loved you. Because he didn't love you. He loved you in parts.

"It was only a matter of time," Hector sighs. He sneaks his grasp into yours, knowing how much it affects you and puts on an invisible mask of deciet, "I already knew this day would happen long before anyone could have predicted it."

"You did?" With worried eyes you gazed at him, "What shall we do then?"

Knowing he hit the target, his lips begin to curl up towards his ears, showing his sharp white teeth that shone against the dim-litted room. Hector asks, "Do you love me?"

A silly question. You didn't hesitate to answer, "Of course I do. I've said it many times."

"Prove it to me," Forcing his forehead against yours, Hector commands in a dangerously low tone, "Kill your brother and only then you can truly be mine."

Your brain sutters, trying to absorb what he had just said. Kill? As in to take a life? It sounded wrong. But...was it wrong if the life belonged to someone who ruined yours?

Dumbfoundedly, you glanced into the bloody orbs of your lover, his black pupils thinning into knives while burning in the hellfire of his true colours. Hector runs a hand from the scalp of your hair, down to your cheek before gingerly sliding his fingers at your jawline. He pulled you close and whispered into your ear.

"Are you scared?"

Ah, this wasn't about your feelings. This was about him and your future and there could be no future you without him by your side.

You let your eyelids drop and leaned into his touch, "I could never be scared of you Hector. Whether it is within my power or not, I will make sure no one gets in our way. I swear it."

"Good," he continues to have you feed on his affection, "I knew I could count on you."

-----------

The news of your brother's death filled every headline Fontain had to offer. He was driven off a cliff while making a trip towards Sumeru. No one survived. The remains were so crushed to the point that authorities had trouble identifying their bodies. The only explanation they could come up with by observing the leftover tracks was that the horse must have gone out of control and ended up dragging the carriage along with it.

Ha. Serves him right.

Food poisoning. The vial Hector made was very effective. You made sure to bury it away from your mansion.

With no other choice, you became your family's next heir. Hector notifies you that he would be away for several months to solidify a unique connection with a man hailing from Snezhnaya. You didn't think he would arrive at your doorsteps with so much authority. Fatui soldiers followed from behind as the staff paved a way for them to enter. Your father was clearly displeased by his outrageous approach but he knew he was in no place to deny.

"Upon the agreement between Fontaine and Snezhnaya, Lady (Y/n) will become Harbinger Il Dottore's wife," the Duke announces, "This news will be publicly announced at the end of October."

Dottore? Is that what he calls himself?

As if claiming his victory, Dottore shoots your father a devilish smile. You could feel the dining table shake when he kept pressing his fist against the smooth surface, begrudingly congratulating you both for the new engagement. Your mother bursted into tears.

Was it worth it?

You watched both of your parents mourn silently in their own manner. Perfectly knowing that you were the main cause. But you weren't able to feel any sadness because in the end, you now had everything you've ever wanted.

The inheritance.

Their attention.

But most of all, him.

And when you were convinced that this was your happily ever after, that fairytales were not just beautiful lies for the sake of comfort, you didn't realize you were already living a life made of beautiful lies conjured by your own mind for the sake of your own comfort.

"You're nothing without me."

Dried and calloused hands squeezed around your throat as you flailed your legs against the soft fabric of the carpet floor. He encases you in a straddling position, enjoying the sight of your tortured and clenched face. Hector…no, Dottore hated it when you disobeyed him. He despised it when his creations don't work the way he wanted them to and he had no use for things that are broken.

"G-hka--k..-"

"How many times do I have to remind you to not use my birthname. Do those ears of you even function properly? Or must I fix them myself?"

You gasped for air when he relaxed his grip. Vision a blur, you coughed a few times before he pulls your arm so that you lay flushed against his chest.

"Don't forget who saved you dear (Y/n). Because of me you were able to escape that miserable life you've despised for years. I expect the utmost gratitude on your part at all times, it is only fair that I punish you for not meeting my requirements, don't you agree?" Dottore lifts his hand up to pinch your cheeks, pulling your head to stare at your eyes, "After all, there is no one else in this world who can put up with you…but me."

His words were poison in which you drank like a woman starved. It made you feel numb to the pain the more you drowned in their alluring scent, the taste was sweet, a remedy for the bitterness of reality where the man of your dreams was nothing but a cruel monster. You came to believe that the reason why he treated you so harshly was because he was scared of losing you. You were caught in the trap of what seemed to be love and devotion when truly, you were just a toy to be used at a means end. He breaks you and he puts you back together, over and over again, filling in between the cracks formed in your glass heart with the phrases you loved to hear. Just like how he filled the other holes of your life where no one else did. You called it kindness. He saw it as entertainment.

Most people pay attention to the flower's beauty but they never acknowledge the thorns hidden beneath it's blossom. That is why they bleed. They get hurt. Though, you didn't mind shedding blood if it was for his sake.

Because you would do anything for him.

You would do anything to bring back the memories of Hector Dufour-Lapointé and save him from the Harbinger that ruined his life. Your life. It wasn't his fault. You knew you could change him to what he was before because you were in love with him, that he might still in there. Somewhere.

Right?

…

Please come back.

Time continues to flow like the tears of your dying heart despite yearning for it to turn at the past. Dottore already left the room a long time ago but you didn't. Raising your head away from your hands, you peered at the door in front of you, begging desperately through a chanting record of despondence.

Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back.

Images, they slipped through your fingers, slowly becoming more distant until your mind began to see them as illusions. Dreams. Things that were not real. Telling you that your life was a lie.

"Come back to me…Hector."

Because the man you loved was withering in your memories and you couldn't do anything to save him.

A dry croak robbed you of your breath as you turned to look in the mirror.

Worthless. You were always worthless, it was what your parents told you since birth. It was what you became when he wasn't at your side because without him, your existence was worthless. You lied for him, you stole for him you, took a life for him. You destroyed yourself for him to point that it was hard to believe you were even looking at yourself.

Worthless. It's who I am.

And despite it all, you couldn't obtain his love.

(Crack).

Worthless things don’t deserved to be loved.

(Crack. Crack).

But what if it’s because I’m worthless, that he won’t love me back?

(Crack).

Your eyes jolted open, causing you to gasp sharply. When the sweet lies dispersed in your head and cleansed you of deceit, everything started to make sene. You came to realize why your wish was impossible all along.

Dottore...no, Hector, the reason wasn't because he didn't return your feelings. Neither was it due to the fact that he hurt you through his actions. Nor when he made you cry or scream for help before feeding you with more lies, thinking he would never hurt you again. It was none of those things.

It was because the man you loved this whole time was someone who could love no one but himself.

"Ha...haha," sucking in your breath, a sinister laugh escapes your mouth, "Hahahahahahaha.....!"

Everything was worthless.

You grabbed a nearby hairbrush and threw it at the mirror, watching yourself shatter into a million pieces.

There was only one thing left to do.

------

"Ugh, where is it?!"

It was late into the night where every staff had gone to sleep. The Harbinger fumbles with his keys while standing at the door of his basement as he was too busy proceeding with his research rather than considering the thought of rest. Usually he acted upon them on his own will, performing various experiments for enjoyment. However, ever since the Snezhnayan court had requested him to look into the ancient arts of alchemy, Dottore was forced to carry it out before the deadline approached. Otherwise his position as Harbinger would be revoked.

"What a bunch of self-centered blockheads. Can't they understand that it take quality time to get quality results?"

Most of his important documents were stored on the otherside. Half of it came from his father-in-law's library. He had you to thank for that.

"Ah finally," he mutters, though still dissatisfied, "I should have a word with my butler for misplacing them."

Dottore shoves the key into the lock but instead of twisting the knob he noticed something strange. It was old and had yet to be fixed but somehow he didn't have any trouble adjusting his wrist. Then he saw there were a set of freshly made fingerprints upon the smooth metallic surface. However, the only person awake at this time would be him-

An intruder!

Dottore drops everything to the ground and yanks the door open. He skittered down the stone stairs while cursing under his breath. Using the delusion gifted by the Tsaritsa, the Harbinger activated his lazer-like pillars as he took advantage of their glow to light up the unlit room.

"What in the abyss...?!"

Except it wasn't dark.

"All of these scrolls, I recognize them," without sparing a single glance, you spoke nostalgically towards the bookshelves, "It brings me so much memories..."

Dottore clenches his teeth together as his eyes shone an angry red, you were holding a torch dangerously close to his hard-earned collection, "What do you think you're doing?!" He fumed, "Put that out, AT ONCE! Don't make me repeat myself!

"They're precious to you aren't they?" You finally shifted to face him, "More than me."

"What has gotten into you?" He was about to hurl at you until he saw your torch lowering, causing him to retreat. You were strangely noncholant and he couldn't help the feeling of disturbance. Accepting that he didn't have the upperhand, Dottore decided to use a different approach, "(Y/n)."

The sound of your name falls from his lips. You faltered.

"I'm sorry for what I have done. I know I was dishonourable to you, as your husband and lover, and that you didn't deserve to see me so aggressive. You have every right to express your anger, my dear. I was in the wrong."

It was only a mask. You knew it well. But seeing him with softened eyes and a tone so comforting, made you desperately wanting to run into his arms so he could wipe away your sorrows just like once upon a time. To live happily ever after.

Hector.

Dottore runs his fingers through his hairstrands in frustration and sighs, "However the Tsarista needed me to do something very important and I can't seem to fulfill her request no matter how hard I try. It angers me. If I don't finish this, there would be no place for us to stay."

"Hector..." you sniffled quietly. He looks so much like him right now.

"Can't you see I'm doing this for you?" He consoles, yet his weapons still remain, "I only intended to make you happy and there's nothing I won't do to achieve that. How about I show-"

"Enough."

Dottore froze upon your sudden command. He didn't sense a hint of subjugation and it seemed that you had perfect control of your emotions. How very inquisitive. Did you grow immune to the style of his voice? In such a short period of time? The facade he had on was now replaced with a growling animal-like expression. You looked at him dissapointedly. His Harbinger self returned. Hector was no more.

"Ha, you're the same as always. Even before the time you became a Harbinger. The same man that I fell in love with but it is me who will never be the same again," For a moment you averted your gaze as if trying hard to swallow your own words, "Remember when we first met at the balcony? That I told you my favourite books to read are fiction? I knew they weren't real but deep down, I wanted to believe in them anyways. And you know what? They did come true, to some degree..."

As the memories come flashing back, he defenselessly watches your expression contort from sadness to a calm contemplation and finally, enraged disgust, "But you only ever brought me pain and I'm sick of it!"

Swaying the torch to the side, Dottore flinches forward but he didn't dare to come close when your current state was unpredictable to him, "I JUST WANTED YOU TO LOVE ME," you wail, I just wanted to be loved, bringing a clawed hand against your forehead and trembling upon contact, "It's all that I ask for..."

Dottore narrowed his brows. Perhaps he may have gotten too far.

"But I know it's impossible. The world is a cruel place and there's no point in trying anymore. That is why I'm going to set us free."

"...What do you mean?"

You shut your eyes closed and tossed the flaming torch to the ground. A horrified expression takes over his features. It didn't take long for the fire to begin spreading amongst the room.

"NO!" Dottore yelled powerfully, he frantically darts his gaze at all directions as they continued to flicker and blend into his precious documents. You stood still and watched him grab the ones that were intact, savouring the most he could but they slip out of his arms every time he moved. Dottore glances behind him to see a rising cage of hellfire. Then he turns to you.

" 'Til death do us part!" you laughed maniacally.

The madman looked back with angry dismay, "You're out of your mind!"

Abandoning whatever he held in his hand, Dottore spins around towards the staircase. He covers his face with his sleeve and did whatever he could to prevent the fire from touching him. However, he accidentally stumbled on his footsteps and something fell off the heights, knocking him in the face. He grunts painfully.

"That will leave a scar," you smile while he clutches at his injury, "I can break you too.”

Just like how you broke me.

Knowing that you've managed to leave a mark of your existence on him in someway, you peacefully watched your lover wobble between the hell you created. But the hell you knew was not made of scorching heat and thundering flames. Hell was empty. Hell was a void. This feeling was far too gentle to be considered hell. If he can't return your love, then at least let these caging arms bask you in the warmth you’ve always desired.

Lifting your head, you looked towards the ceiling and closed your eyes.

Ah, this cannot be death.

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srirachvbi · 4 years

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Sakusa and Ushijima bringing their kids to practice Headcanons !

requested by anon: Um hi idk if you write for them so you can totally ignore this . Um can I ask for sakusa and ushijima (or one of them it's up to you) bringing their kids to practice bc the reader was called into work ??? Like Sakusa with his little boy and ushijima with his son and daughter. Sorry you can ignore this

a/n: ignore this?? absolutely not LMAO i love this idea. tsym for requesting anon! hopefully, headcanons are okay for this! also sorry that ushijima’s is a little shorter-- i wasn’t quite sure what else to write <3

warnings: manga spoilers

SAKUSA KIYOOMI

This dude was like 👁👄👁 when you called him only half an hour into practice to ask

They were on a water break after doing a bunch of drills and his phone lit up with your contact picture

Atsumu: Aw Omi Omi, that’s a cute picture of you two~

Kiyoomi: I will literally end you ❤️

Anyways he grabs his phone and stalks off to get away from the team since he knew they would eavesdrop if he stayed that close

The second he answered the phone, you started rambling and like begging for forgiveness so he was just “???”

Y/N: Yoomi! I swear I’ll make dinner for the next week and-- and I’ll uhhh... buy all of the groceries and cleaning supplies for a while and-- and

Kiyoomi: tf are you going on about?

Y/N: Is it okay if I drop Hi-chan off with you? ... I got called into work and the nanny’s busy...

He goes silent for a second, which makes you start to freak out because you were out of options for who to call

Your parents were on a cruise which both you and Kiyoomi got them for their 30th anniversary so they won’t home and your siblings lived on the other side of the country

Kiyoomi’s parents were too busy and so was his older siblings

He was your final resort

After a few seconds he just kind of laughs quietly and sighs

Kiyoomi: yeah, you can bring Hito-kun here

Y/N: your hand in marriage pls ❤️

Kiyoomi: ...

He justs SIGHS and hangs up cause he’s tired of your bullshit ❤️

He’ll pocket his phone and go up to the coach and Meian to ask if it’s okay if his kid sits in during practice and they’re perfectly fine with that

LMAO Atsumu, Bo, and Hinata eavesdropping and being like “tiny Sakusa??????”

Fifteen minutes later, you pop into the gym with Hitoshi (not the bnha character LMAO) and Hinata and Bokuto both go “TINY OMI-KUN!!!!”

Oh my god when I tell you Sakusa almost had an aneurysm when they started to run towards you and his son, i mean it

he literally went from one side of the gym to in front of you two with the most disgusted look on his face

Hito’s pretty similar to Sakusa as in like... he hates germs so when he saw those two sweaty adults running towards him he just

Hito: due to personal reasons, i will be passing away now ❤️

Bo and Hinata are trying to get near Hito, but Sakusa just completely blocks them

Y/N: thank you for taking care of Hi-chan, Yoomi :(

Kiyoomi: I had nothing against taking care of him in the first place, idiot

Anyways, you realize the time and literally sprint out of there to get to work

Bokuto: Mini Omi-kun! HI!!!

Hito: 👁👄👁 you’re so sweaty pls don’t touch me sir ❤️

Bo goes :(( but recovers when Hito apologizes after seeing how sad he got

Cause even tho Sakusa wouldn’t apologize, Hito was also raised by you and he’s a kid so he just kind of gets all flustered

Hito pats his shoulder to try and comfort him and Bo goes “!!” and like picks up the poor boy

At first, Hito is TERRIFIED but after a few seconds, he starts giggling and enjoying himself

Sakusa was about to kill him but then he saw his little son all happy and his heart clenched

After a few minutes of fooling around with Hito, they start practice again since they can’t spend the whole day just fooling around with the little Sakusa lol

The whole time while they’re doing drills (or smth idk how professional volleyball practice is LMAO), Hito’s standing next to Coach Foster and his eyes are so bright and big

He’s super excited to see his dad play because he hadn’t gone to that many games (Sakusa said that there were too many germs and that he’d get sick)

So to see his dad going like “BLAM” with the ball was like “!!”

They do a game of 2v2 and he’s cheering so loud for his dad it’s so cute

Hinata and Atsumu are on a team together and they’re sitting on the sidelines with Hito until they get to play

Hito getting super excited and energetic when he sees his dad playing volleyball so he asks them about the players :(((

Stop I can just imagine a tiny sakusa with more energy just being so cute

Practice finally ends for the day and Sakusa walks out of the locker room and Hito’s like “DAD!!!!!!!” and runs towards him

Sakusa’s soft for his son so he chuckles and picks him up

Hito: you were so cool!!!! You went like BLAM and BOOM!!

Sakusa, internally: oh god, i gave birth to another Hinata...

USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI

SO in this one you’re on a business trip for work and like.. the nanny cancelled on him the morning of so he was like “well, shit”

But like not really cause he’d probably be nonchalant about it

His daughter, Riko is 3 and his son, Eiji is only a few months old so he comes into practice with a baby carrier and Hoshiumi’s like

>:0 !!!!!!!!

Hoshiumi: BABY USHIJIMA >:0 !!!!!

Riko’s super energetic unlike her father or her brother so she’s running around the second she walks into the gym and Ushijimas like 👁👄👁 cause he’s not quite sure if he should scold her or not

Honestly, Ushijima would be so confused with kids cause he’s just...

head full only volleyball

Normally you’re around and or the nanny so he’s not sure what to do LMAO

Riko’s unusually energetic and he’s pretty sure she got it from you lol

Romero sees Ushijima’s look of pure conflict and almost loses a lung from how hard he laughed

Ushijima may be super smart when it came to volleyball but it seems children is the next obstacle

Riko and Hoshiumi somehow bond in hardly any time and suddenly Riko’s on his shoulders and they’re running around

chaotic duo, we stan

Kageyama’s looking at the children with utter confusion

Omg Kageyama and Ushijima would both definitely be so confused with children

smh these volleyball idiots

Eventually, they actually have to start practice so Riko and baby Eiji were by the benches

Lmao Riko running onto court because she wants to play volleyball with her dad and Ushijima having a stroke

He’s bowing so low to the coaches because he just... doesn’t know what to do

it was hard enough to get them out of bed today

It’s okay with everyone and Hoshiumi literally tries to pass the ball to Riko and Romero SCREAMS in fear

Romero’s definitely the savior of the day when it comes to the kids

Ushijima carries Riko off the court and the tiny bab was like >:0 !! When he sat her back down with Eiji

Riko: DAD >:0 !!!

Ushijima just asks her to stay on the bench but he doesn’t want to scold her

She listens to him because she sees how conflicted he looks finally

Lmao she tries to pass a ball to Eiji and Ushijima’s like “oh, oh god.”

Talking about Eiji, he starts crying and the coach just SIGHS and gives them a ten minute break

Ushijima losing ten years of his life as he tries to calm Eiji down

Hoshiumi: !! he wants to play volleyball too !!

Romero: Hoshiumi, no... please...

Ushijima eventually calms the crying baby down and feeds him a bottle

Eiji ends up falling asleep after that tho so there’s no more issues with him for the rest of practice ❤️

It would be interesting to see Ushijima with his kids lolol

ANYWAYS

practice ends and Riko’s like “DAD!!! Teach me how to play volleyball now!!!” even though he’s already began

She’s a bit forgetful ❤️

Romero literally starts giving Ushijima tips and everything because he sees how confused he is

All of the other players listening as well because they’re interested

Professor Romero!

Ushijima heads home with his two kids and he’s just listening to Riko ramble a lot and he’s happy

He was scared she wouldn’t like to be there and would throw a fit but similar to her father, she’s super excited about volleyball

You call them on the way home and Riko’s like “MOM !! I WANNA PLAY VOLLEYBALL !!”

You start giggling and you listen to her ramble for a while before asking her to give the phone to her dad

Ushijima: please never go on a business trip again ❤️

Y/N: aww, you miss me Waka-kun~

He hangs up

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blushingreid · 4 years

Text

Eye Love You

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

A/N: shout out to @pumpkin-goob for this request💛 I absolutely love it bc I’m blind af, so it’s a vibe. S2 Spence always has a special place in my heart. Pls enjoy & slide me feedback <3

Note: I use the technical term for the equipment: phoropter (in case you’re privileged with 20/20 vision or you’re like me & just called it the eye machine your whole life).

“You know, three out of every four adults require glasses or contacts. Of the 75 percent of adults that need vision correction, 64 percent of them wear eyeglasses, while 11 percent wear contac-,” Spencer’s ramble cut short as he clumsily bumped into a display entering the eye doctors.

“Easy there Pretty Boy. Can’t have you wrecking your good looks,” Morgan teased, steering him towards the receptionist’s desk.

“Hi, what brings you in today?” the man at the desk asked, not even bothering to look up.

“Um I have an appointment for new glasses for Spencer Reid.”

The receptionist gave Spencer a nod before tapping away on the computer. After a couple minutes of awkward silence, he finally looked up at them. “So from our records it appears that you need to have your eyes examined for any changes in your prescription before we can get you new glasses. Just have a seat in the waiting room and the optometrist should be out soon.”

Spencer sighed as he and Morgan headed towards the waiting room. He just wanted to be able to see clearly and it wasn’t even his fault.

His glasses had gotten knocked off his face and crushed during one of the BAU’s recent cases. Spencer had been chasing after an unsub when out of nowhere, the unsub’s partner struck Spencer. Next thing he knew, he was basically blind.

Hotch had given Spencer the next couple days off until he got new glasses, since he wasn’t much help blindly stumbling around the bullpen. Morgan had volunteered to be Spencer’s “guide dog” until he regained his vision.

“Spencer Reid?” The optometrist called out.

Spencer looked up at the blurry figure and shyly waved his hand.

“Hi, I’m Doctor y/n y/l/n and I’ll be doing your examination. If you could follow me and we’ll get you checked out.”

“She’s very cute,” Morgan whispered in Spencer’s ear.

“Since all I see is her silhouette, I’ll take your word for it,” Spencer whispered back before getting up and following her. Morgan chuckled as he watched Spencer try his best not to bump into anything.

Once he made it safely into the examination room and onto the chair, Spencer turned towards y/n. He involuntarily squinted his eyes, hoping it would temporarily clear his vision long enough so he could assess her. Unfortunately, it didn’t do much.

“I see you’re here for new glasses. Any particular reason why?” Y/n asked as she cleaned and set up the phoropter.

Spencer felt embarrassed all over again, remembering why he needed new glasses. “Yeah uh they got ruined in a work incident,” he nervously laughed off.

“Well your job must be very interesting and hectic,” y/n replied before pushing the phoropter towards Spencer. “Please place your chin up on this bar, and lean forward until your forehead rests on the cushion. I’ve added your latest prescription, so we can see if there are any changes.”

Spencer placed his chin onto the cool surface, leaning forward so his forehead touched the cushion letting him see into the phoropter. He heard a small click before the darkness he saw in the machine was filled with light, and a clear view of the television on the room’s wall with rows of letters in various sizes displayed.

“Great! Can you see clearly now?” Y/n asked, wheeling her chair directly in front of Spencer and the phoropter.

Oh he could definitely see clearly and he certainly liked what he saw, given the heat that immediately coursed through his body once y/n came into his line of sight. It was most certainly love at first eyesight. Y/n was breathtakingly beautiful. Spencer had never seen anyone more perfect than her. He mentally appreciated the dimly lit examination room.

“Yes, uh things are much clearer now,” Spencer quickly said, realizing he had completely zoned out. Spencer was relieved and filled with glee that he would be able to admire y/n without her realizing it, through the phoropter.

“Perfect! I’m sure you know the drill with this thing, but I’ll explain it anyways. So I’m gonna block out your left eye first and each round, I’ll switch between two different lenses and each time you’ll tell me which one is clearer. Then, we’ll repeat the process with your other eye after,” y/n explained before flipping and turning the many parts of the machine to block out Spencer’s left eye.

A tiny hint of sadness hit Spencer when he realized he’d only get to admire her one eye at a time.

“Okay one or two?” Y/n asked as she flipped between the two lense options.

Spencer immediately saw that option two was clearer, but he didn’t want his time with y/n to be over too soon. “Um could you do that again, a couple more times?”

“Yes, no worries. Sometimes these are very close, so just let me know if you need more time or repeats.”

And so he did. What should’ve been a quick 10 minute examination became a 40 minute one. Not that y/n minded, she found Spencer very attractive and his presence quite comforting. Normally, she would’ve told a patient that they could say if they thought both were similar, and they’d immediately move on. However, she didn’t mind spending more time with Spencer. She just assumed he was an indecisive person. After the exam, she discovered that his prescription barely changed from his last one.

“We’re putting a rush on your glasses, since they were your only pair and you still want the same frames. You’ll receive a call letting you know in the next couple days when they’re ready,” y/n said as she lead Spencer out of the room back to the main lobby.

“Pretty boy! What took you so long? You said this would only take at most twenty minutes. I’m starving,” Morgan whined before extending his hand to y/n. “Hi there, I’m Derek Morgan, Spencer’s coworker, best friend, and current guide for his blind ass.”

“It was a pleasure to meet both of you, and good luck with your new glasses,” y/n said after shaking Morgan’s hand and giving them, mostly directed at Spencer, a kind smile.

As she turned to walk away, Morgan nudged Spencer. “Um hello, are you really going to let her get away without asking her out? There’s a chance you might not cross paths for a long time.”

“I can’t. I’m not good at that type of stuff like you are,” Spencer sighed, turning to look at y/n one last time. He wanted to remember every detail about her before he leaves.

“How about you just be yourself and ask her out,” Morgan advised. He was not going to let Spencer walk away from this woman. “Hey Doctor y/n!” Morgan yelled, before shoving Spencer towards her. “Spencer here has a question about his uh retinas that he forgot to ask.”

Y/n turned towards her name being called and was met with Spencer stumbling into her arms. As she helped steady him, she felt a blush rise to her face at the sudden close proximity they were in.

“Uh sorry about that,” Spencer apologizes as he steps back. “Ignore what he said. I uh actually came over because um I think you’re very b-beautiful and you i-intrigue me. A-Anyways, I was wondering if you would maybe um like t-to go out to dinner uh sometime. I completely understand if you don’t want to though.”

Y/n smiled at Spencer’s adorable nervousness as he asked her out. She’d been waiting all appointment long for him to ask her. After waiting a couple seconds, pretending to contemplate his invite, y/n slid her card in Spencer’s hand before leaning up to his ear.

“Call me once you can see again.”

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jawnjendes · 5 years

Text

the truth hurts but secrets kill | shawn mendes

chapter 8/?, university au, shawn x goth oc

AN: lol the taglist didnt work on my last chapter so if you havent read but i’ll show you my teeth pls do eet. anyways this chapter is an angsty buildup full of angst. my specialty.

***let me know if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist

masterlist | playlist coming soon

"Where do you live?" Annalise asked for what felt like the thousandth time.

"Do you even think she's capable of answering?" Patrick said, his arm supporting Alessia's waist as he helped her stumble down the university road.

The Lyft to campus went without any major issue. Alessia did not puke in the car, she merely leaned against the door in the backseat. Annalise had gotten annoyingly chatty with the driver, talking about childhood trauma and the inevitability of death. She claimed it was practice for when she's a real therapist, though the driver was trying to focus on the road. Patrick left the driver a generous tip through the app.

The three of them were left just close enough to the dorms, but there was still a walk to be had, and it felt like it was taking centuries with how much Alessia slowed them down. Annalise kept looking around at the dark surroundings as they paced with her pocket knife in hand. Alessia mumbled something incoherent, her head lolling from side to side.

"I've never heard of that building, where is it?" Annalise asked her.

"Dude, you're gonna have to take her back to your place," Patrick told her. "I don't even think she knows her own name."

With a reluctant sigh, Annalise closed her pocket knife and wrapped her arm around the smaller girl's waist. They were approaching the corner where she and Patrick would typically part ways. Alessia noticed the shift and leaned all her weight into Annalise, mumbling under her rancid breath. It wasn't her first time babysitting a drunk toddler, but that doesn't mean she likes doing it.

Patrick was kind enough to walk the two girls up to Annalise's dorm. Alessia was swaying ominously in the elevator, like she wanted to be cradled like a baby. She was definitely ready for bed.

"Ya casi, mi vida," Annalise said as they stumbled down the third floor corridor.

"Why do you call her that?" Patrick asked. "’Me veeda.’ Isn't that what you would call your boyfriend?"

"It's the same thing as a waitress would call you sweetie or something," she replied. "Or the way you'd talk to a toddler. A drunk one."

She managed to pull her key from her back pocket and give it to Patrick. He unlocked the appropriate door, and the three of them were met with more people and more loud music.

Apparently, Stella hadn't planned on staying alone this Saturday night. She was on the armchair, with Camila squished in right next to her. They weren't alone, either. Shawn and Brian were on the couch, each holding a beer. All four of them stared at the two goths holding the short normie up on two feet.

"Oh my god, you're right on time!" Stella exclaimed. "Shawn's working on an EP! He's giving a us a preview! And he made another duet with Camila!"

"Este guey se puso peda," Annalise said with mild snark, gesturing to the girl on her arm. "I'm gonna put her down."

"You're gonna kill her?" Patrick asked, his blue eyes wide. "Damn, I didn't know you hated her that much!"

"Shut up, I brought her here, didn't I?"

She did not look at the guests on the couch as she carefully led Alessia to her bedroom. She ignored Patrick starting up a conversation with everyone. She had things to do, and it was hard enough with her fluffy mind racing.

"There we go, my dear," she said as she sat the intoxicated girl on the bed. "Acuestate, mija. Tomorrow's gonna suck, but you can rest now."

She patted Alessia's head before moving to take off her sneakers. Then, Annalise took her phone from her jacket pocket and plugged it into the charger on then nightstand. Before she could sigh in relief that they all made it back alive, she heard a voice at the door.

"Hey, you."

When Annalise turned to face him, it was like a million fireworks went off at once. Her entire body froze in the best way, and the air in her lungs was knocked out of her. He's even prettier in person.

"Someone have too much fun?" he asked, nodding towards the now sleeping Alessia.

Annalise could not tear her eyes away from his face long enough to think of an answer. All she wanted to do was stare at him for the rest of eternity.

Then, Patrick came up from behind Shawn, an amused grin on his face. "Bro, she's high as a kite right now."

Shawn looked confused for a moment and then turned to him. "Ann doesn't smoke."

"She used to all the fucking time last year." Patrick was still grinning. "She wanted to have fun tonight, so I gave her a hit of my pen."

"So you drugged her up, eh?"

"Bro-"

"I'm not your bro. Don't you care about her health at all? Don't you remember she was in the hospital a couple of months ago?"

The grin faded. "I care about her and her freedom. Not that I have to explain that to you." Patrick excused himself.

Annalise heard every word, but her wide eyes were still on Shawn. She was stepping towards him before she even realized, and then her arms were going around his middle. He was still warm and soft and he smelled good. It was like personified crack. Annalise smiled as her head rested on his chest. "I love you, my baby."

Shawn hesitated, but he hugged her back. "Love you too." Then he pulled back, his hands on her shoulders. "Where are you gonna sleep?"

"The couch." Annalise's fingers were gripping the back of his t-shirt.

"You sure? Wouldn't you rather come stay with me? I'm leaving soon anyway."

Annalise giggled so much her voice squeaked. But she frowned almost instantly. "Don't be like Chad."

"Who's Chad?"

"No one important. I think sober Annalise is gonna be mad at you."

"What? Why?"

She pointed to the sleeping girl on the bed. "That one told high Annalise some things. Sober Annalise might not even remember, but if she does, she'll probably talk to you on check in day. Like, actual talking this time."

"Why can't we talk now?" Shawn asked. "I think high-you will be more understanding than sober-you."

"High Annalise is stupidly in love with you. We'll get nowhere, my dear."

He chewed the inside of his cheek as he gazed down at her. "Yeah, you always call me cute names when you're on drugs. Like that time in the hospital. And all those times you got high with me. Oh wait…" he trailed off. "Every time I asked you to smoke with me you said you didn't trust me enough. But tonight you trusted somebody else, eh?"

She giggled. "I knew you'd be mad at me too. We have much to talk about, baby boy."

In theory, the reason for Alessia's disappearance the following morning would be that she remembered the tea she spilled upon waking up and now she wanted to avoid the wrath of the goth girlfriend. In reality, she wouldn't be entirely wrong.

Even after sleeping for twelve hours, Annalise couldn't get those bits of forbidden information out of her head. She had dreams about catching Shawn and Alessia having really loud sex, but she woke up to hear her roommate doing exactly that. Then, she had a recurring dream of Shawn admitting to cheating on her, except this time he had twelve versions of Henry the orange tabby surrounding him. The last dream she remembered having was one where she ended up back in the hospital, and that she was given no anesthesia for her surgery. She had her stomach removed, and she watched every drop of blood and guts come out of the gaping hole in her body.

She woke with a start after every one of these vivid dreams. Maybe it was the after effects of being stoned, but she felt uneasy for that whole day. She typically binged to her heart's content, but the hospital dream was still on her mind. She allowed herself to have a Lunchables, but not much else.

Then, Monday rolled around and Annalise found it difficult to act like a person. She got out of bed, had an unsatisfying breakfast. She did it, and that's the only thing that matters right? Screw all the other feelings. The paranoia she felt after the Abnormal Psych lecture about eating disorders doesn't matter. The impending embarrassing discomfort from sitting alone at a table in Bio Lab doesn't matter either. Who cares about the sad ache in her chest after seeing Shawn and Alessia leave their class together? Who cares if they're still in high spirits even though they knew that Annalise knew? Who cares?

Annalise doesn't, that's for damn sure. She was perfectly fine. She pushed herself out of bed today even though she wanted nothing more than to induce a coma on herself. Who cares if she still felt shitty after?

Although, she was putting off the impending chat with Shawn until check in on Saturday. He had to know it was coming, why else would he just stop texting her?

Unless he's already with Alessia, and therefore playing me like a violin. Maybe Shawn was just ignoring me to make me go crazy.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Annalise whispered as she put on her headphones. She was glad she caught herself slipping, she didn't want the wide-eyed crazies on display as she walked out of the Social Studies building.

Her steps were slower and more careful as she picked a song to play from her phone. After settling for Halsey, she pulled out her black, round sunglasses and put them on. Gotta hide them nightmare eyes.

Maybe… perhaps… I need to check in earlier than normal?

"Don't be stupid," she told herself.

It wouldn't hurt though, would it? Maybe he would be happy to see me since I would be breaking my own rule. Unless, of course, he's hanging around Alessia again. Perhaps he doesn't care anymore.

The only solution Annalise had was to dump herself on the couch in the dorm and play Tetris 99 until the thoughts and feelings sorted themselves out.

When Stella came home, she knew the drill. She sat on the couch and ranted about her day. She rambled on about her fascist history professor and the lack of a GSA club on campus. Then, she mentioned a Halloween party coming up at one of the frat houses, and that she needed a hot costume.

It was the month where Annalise and all her spooky darkness was socially acceptable, and she couldn't even be excited about it. A different type of darkness was taking over, and it was stupid that it was over a boy. Why did she have to be so dramatic? Why was she so goddamn crazy?

"I'll pick your costume," she said over Stella's rambling.

She paused, her brilliant hazel eyes wide. To say she was surprised that Annalise cracked so fast would be an understatement. But she smiled. "Would you? Ooo, can I pick yours?"

"Ah, I don't think I'm gonna do anything for Halloween this year."

"What? But it's your favorite holiday! You need to come to this party with me! Buddy system, remember?"

"Is that the only reason-"

"Of course not, you dummy! We haven't spent enough time together since the semester started! Let's go find some costumes, yeah? I'll even let you dress me up as scary as you want!"

Stella's a good friend. Annalise should really try harder to spend time with her. Why didn't she try to be a good friend in return?

They went to the local costume store that Friday. It gave Annalise a wonderful excuse to not go to the gaming club meeting. She really did not want to reflect on the Bart adventure, or see just how bad she fucked up Chad's nose.

After returning to campus with a dark but still cute witch costume, Stella was summoned to Camila's dorm. She thanked Annalise for the lovely costume choice and practically abandoned her. Annalise couldn't find it in her to really care. It was only a few more hours until Saturday.

She had barely settled herself on the couch when her phone buzzed. For the first time this week, Shawn had texted her. Annalise held her phone up, staring blankly at the screen. Her heart should be pounding right now, shouldn't it?

"Hey, I know check in is tomorrow but I can't make it at our usual time. I have a gig tomorrow night. You should come and we can talk after."

The next text was the address to the lounge he would be performing at.

Any other time, Annalise would have been happy to know Shawn was performing again. But he cancelled on her, knowing that he was in trouble. Is that what it took for him to start booking shows again? Was this just an elaborate way to avoid Annalise? Perhaps this was just some form of reverse psychology so she wouldn't go to the gig.

You can't psych out a psychology major. Of course Annalise was going to this gig.

However, she had a mostly sleepless night, really unable to shake the fact that Shawn was probably avoiding her. When she finally did sleep, she slept too much. Annalise woke up in the afternoon and was late for work. She had planned to ask if she could leave early, but she didn't dare try anything now. The gig was at eight, when her shift ended. She ended up going to the lounge in her work uniform, a button up with the dealership name on, and baggy slacks. Not exactly the sexy outfit she had planned during the late hours of insomnia.

The show had already started by the time she got there. As she was showing her ID to the bouncer, she heard Shawn's voice over the mic, and she felt something for the first time in days. Her stomach felt tight as she slowly stepped into the lounge.

The turnout was decent. Every single table and bar stool was occupied, and all eyes were on the band performing on the stage. Annalise looked around for any empty space; She wasn't dressed her best but she did want to be anywhere but against the wall opposite the stage. Her eyes spotted the group of people standing directly in front of the stage.

It was the normal group of girls who swooned every time Shawn blinked, but there were also three other girls that Annalise knew all too well. They were jumping and singing along to Lost in Japan, not a single care in the world. Annalise wondered why Stella didn't tell her that she was going to this event, but the way she looked at Camila as they sang to each other said enough. Maybe they chose Alessia to be their new third wheel too. So Alessia was too embarrassed to face Annalise, but not Shawn?

Annalise always stood in the back of every one of Shawn's shows, knowing she would stick out like a sore thumb in the midst of the usual fangirls. Not that that's a bad thing, it just wasn't her usual place to be. She figured that showing up at all would be enough.

Perhaps Shawn already had enough. Three of his friends were already cheering him on, and surely he had more of them scattered in the audience. Not to mention, the people here that didn't know him were going to adore him by the end of the night. Besides, Shawn most likely invited her as a ploy to get her to turn it down. She wasn't needed here. Annalise chewed the inside of her lip as she back up towards the exit. She stepped outside, away from the people trying to get in, and she pulled her phone out. She composed a new text:

"Hey, I'm drowning in work so I won't make it to your show. I'll meet you at your place later so we can talk🖤"

_______

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @ilsolee @mendesromano @1-800-khalid-mendussy @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @iloveshawnieboi @poppyshawn @shawnsunflower @shawnvvmendes @ruinhoney @someoneunimportantxx @calyumthomas @yourdeflightfullyleft @havethetimeeofyourlifee @shawmndes @wronglanemendes @chillingbythesea

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes smut #shawn x goth gf #yaint ready for the next chapter lol #im not even ready #it was so draining to write omg

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strawberryjmilk · 6 years

Text

baemax | lee felix

anon requested: Hi! Can I pls request a fluff w Felix? Reader is getting stressed and tired from work/school and their health is starting to fail. So Felix steps in and tries to help with whatever they’re doing? Thank you so much! You’re the best <3

word count: 2039

collge!au, non idol!au robotics engineer!reader

"Please," a groan was heard. Felix sighed, rolling his eyes as he listened to Minho sniffle and cough. The boy had gotten himself sick, and started missing his classes because of it. Currently, he was begging Felix to get his notes from his math partner. The only problem - Y/N was currently in the engineer department and Felix was terrified to go there. "Felix, I really can't afford to get behind."

"But, I'm very warm and comfy in my bed," Felix spoke. He twisted a stray string around his finger, pouting slightly. The thought of the engineering department terrified Felix in general - he didn't know what to expect. What if they took him in to experiment on him? What if he ended up being sliced by the lasers he'd heard rumors about? "It's warm and safe here, away from all of the gadgets they have there."

"It's not scary, Felix," Minho whined. He really didn't want to get behind, and he'd been to your department countless times. "The scariest thing would be the robots, and you love those!"

"If I die, tell Jeongin he was always my favorite," Felix sighed. He hung up after saying his goodbyes, convincing himself he needed to wear actual clothes. Sighing again, Felix ruffled a hand through his hair, dreading the small walk he'd have to take.

It was chaos in the engineering department. Loud yells rang and echoed, different sounds of different types of music going with it. In the distance, Felix heard a power drill turn on, and he had to do everything in his power to not run at that very moment. With a gulp, the blond stepped warily into the building, almost shaking with fear.

"Do you need something?" A voice spoke up. Felix yelped, spinning around to see a boy a little older than him, carrying at least three drink trays, all full of coffee. The boy looked frazzled - his hair was everywhere and his eyes were drooping as he struggled to stay awake. "I'm Vernon - it's a little hectic here. But, did you need something?"

"Math notes," Felix spit out. The blond flinched when a loud shout was heard - a victory shout, he hoped. Stumbling over his words, Felix managed to say one eligible thing. "Y/N."

"Ah, Y/N!" Vernon cheered. He nodded to the right, insisting Felix follow him. Felix looked back to all the coffees the boy was carrying, wondering if he should offer to help. He didn't, though, being too uncomfortable in an odd place and situation. "Y/N needed a coffee break, anyways. I'm sure the visit would be appreciated. You guys friends?"

"Not exactly," Felix choked as they walked though a smoke cloud. He looked to the left to see a dejected girl bang her head against her workstation, groaning as her invention didn't work - again. How could Felix say he didn't even know what you looked like, much less how you weren't nearly close enough to be friends.

"Y/N!" Vernon cheered. He came to an abrupt halt, looking around quickly, trying to catch sight of you. Saying a loud 'ah', Vernon led Felix to the back of the building where he could see a figure going frantic. "Y/N, your coffee's here! And something about math notes. See you later!"

"Thanks, Vern!" You called out. You hummed in content as you all but chugged the coffee you'd been brought. Finally taking notice of the awkward blond who was looking around warily, you blinked. "Math notes? Oh, are you Minho's friend?"

"Felix," he almost whimpered. Felix cringed before clearing his throat - he sounded oddly cowardly, and his first thought was that he wanted to make a good first impression. Shuffling slightly, Felix bit his lip before raising a hand to slightly wave. "Lee Felix - and, yeah, I'm friends with Minho."

"Just let me grab the notes!" You grinned. Felix nodded as his eyes glued themselves to the ground - he was imagining it when he saw stars sparkling around your figure, right? A loud beep rang out through the department, almost like a bell. Felix was startled again, wide eyes almost tearing up. "That's just the bell that tells us to get our stuff together and leave because it's late - it goes off every hour we ignore it."

"How many times has it gone off?" Felix found himself asking. Remembering how many coffees Vernon was carrying - and how unkept and tired everyone seemed - Felix could only guess a few times. You paused your searching, turning to look at Felix while tilting your head. He was seeing the stars turn to hearts, oh boy.

"Twelve times, maybe?" You shrugged, going back to your bag. With a groan, your entire figure slumped as you began to pout. Where did you put those math notes again? You'd made a little packet specifically for Minho because you knew he'd be out sick for a while. Sighing, you turned to the mess that was your workstation. "Bubby, help me find my math notes, please."

A small whirring was heard and a flash of silver caught Felix's eye. At knee height, a small robot rolled forward to where you stood with your bag. It blinked - almost cutely, Felix had to admit - before a whir was heard again. A crackle, then a soothing voice, "the ones for Minho?"

Felix's eyes grew again. Not only did the robot have the least robotic voice - when it said Minho's name, it was Minho's voice. The thought of Minho spending his free time here to see your little robot was amusing. You nodded, a hand under your chin in thought.

"Mhm," you hummed. Sighing again, you crouched down so you were face-to-face with the robot. Arms wrapping around your knees, you tilted your head again. "I did do them, right? I can't remember much - I was working on the animatronic all day."

"You did," the robot replied. Felix froze as you spoke to the chunk of metal so calmly, as if you were friends. Maybe it isn't that scary here, he thought. The robot blinked again before turning to Felix. I take it back, I'm still scared! "New friend?"

"Oh, this is Felix," you introduced. When you looked back up at the blond, you grinned until your eyes crinkled. A small laugh escaped your mouth as you took in Felix's startled expression and stiff posture. "He's Minho's friend and he seems a bit nervous. Let's get him out of here quickly, okay?"

"Yes, Y/N," Bubby replied. Your voice covered your name, a happy cheer of a word. Felix's eyes wandered around again before he found them almost glued to you. A small whir was heard as Bubby tipped your bag over, watching the contents spill thoughtfully. A shuffle or two before a small packet was there. "Found it!"

"Thank you, Bubby!" You grinned again. Those damn sparkles are showing up again, Felix glared. You faced the boy after patting your robot with a small, "you can rest now."

Before the little robot rested, it whirred up to Felix. The blond stiffened once more. He looked to you - you stood, motioning him to crouch down like you were beforehand. Gulping, Felix slowly lowered himself to the ground, a frown planted on his face. Bubby reached out and patted his head lightly, "there, there. Don't be afraid."

With that, your tiny robot whirled away to a small corner to presumably take a nap. Felix was handed a small stack of notes - looking closer, he realized that they were all color coded. Giving you a small nod, Felix shuffled his way out of the department, only looking back at you once.

"Thinking of Y/N?" Minho teased. The boy recovered quickly, and started to regularly tease Felix about you. At first, the blond's cheeks would light up pink when Minho mentioned you. Now, though, he was so used to it that he merely rolled his eyes. "I know I am. The entire engineering department is busy with huge projects. I kind of miss Bubby, too."

"They're all busy?" Felix asked. He looked up from the book he was reading to watch as Minho pouted. Leaning his chin on his hand, Felix felt his eyebrows furrow as he wondered if you'd been sleeping properly. Then again, he thought, why do I care?

"Mhm," Minho hummed. He ate the cupcake he was holding, nodding in satisfaction. Felix was sitting at a table while Minho was trying different and new recipes. The peppermint cookies he'd made were pretty good, but Felix didn't trust the honey and marshmallow cupcake he held. "The projects count towards their ending grade. If they fail, they don't pass."

It was almost dark, but you were still on Felix's mind. He'd left Minho in the kitchen, not listening as the brunette muttered about flour and sugar. Shuffling in his bed, Felix sat up with an almost pout on his lips.

No matter what Felix tried to convince himself of, he always found himself wondering how you were. If you were eating, how many coffees you'd been drinking - it all floated through his mind. So, against his better judgement, Felix trudged his way to the kitchen he was at earlier. Grabbing a spare apron, Felix hoped all of Minho's ramblings would come to mind before he grabbed a bowl and began to make a small batch of cupcakes.

You were half-asleep at your working desk when you heard someone clear their throat. Looking up, you could see a shy Felix, a small smudge of pink frosting on his cheek. Trailing down, your eyes caught sight of the cupcake he held delicately.

"Felix?" You asked, slowly sitting up straight. Felix nodded, holding the cupcake further from himself and closer to you. You grabbed it, ignoring how it was a little cold and how lopsided the frosting was. "This is for me?"

"Minho said you were working really hard," Felix spoke. He rubbed his neck nervously, not meeting your gaze once. Puffing his cheeks, Felix pointed to the - admittedly ugly - cupcake. "That was the prettiest one, and it reminded me of how you're the prettiest one in the engineering department."

Everything froze after he spoke. Felix's eyes widened - he didn't mean to say that. A grin settled on your face before you looked up at him, his eyes finally meeting yours. Taking a bite, you hummed in satisfaction.

"It's a little burnt," you admitted. Swallowing the bite with the last of your coffee - you needed at least two more - you smiled again. "But, it's really good. Thank you, Felix."

You got out of your seat, your close proximity bringing a fresh blush to Felix's cheeks. Your lips brushed against his right cheek - the one absent of frosting. After kissing his cheek gently, you sat back down and proceeded to work.

Felix didn't say anything, but his heart was racing and he didn't want to leave you just yet. Grabbing a spare chair, Felix sat beside you cautiously. Seeing your welcoming gaze and warm smile, Felix relaxed. He sat with you the entire night, listening as you muttered to yourself and asking questions when he grew curious.

You woke up to Felix's nose touching yours, both of you laying your heads on your work desk. You smiled, tracing the small freckles that were spread across his nose softly. He scrunched his nose, eyelids fluttering open slowly.

"Let's go get breakfast," you whispered. The atmosphere was too calm and warm for you to disturb it. Felix's eyes widened briefly before he smiled, nodding and ruffling his hair up. You both sat up with a yawn, looking at all of your still-asleep or just-woken-up classmates that were around you. "My treat - as a thank you for staying with me and for the cupcake."

"Next time, it's my treat, then," Felix agreed. You beamed at the sound of next time, and Felix swore he could see the sparkles and hearts surrounding you again. He smiled back, shifting a glance to the sleeping Bubby, who was emitting small snores. He wouldn't tell you, but Felix liked the sound of next time, too.

i hope you guys enjoyed that!! theres only a few college!aus left im )))^: i added the request here since it sort of matched - i hope that’s okay! thank you for reading, don’t forget to take care of yourself

#lee felix imagines #lee felix scenarios #lee felix au #stray kids imagines #stray kids au #stray kids scenarios #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop au #My Imagines #College!AU

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