#you notice I’ve gained weight

[algolagniaa]

not me trying to find an absolutely perfect outfit for a picnic lunch with my mother who I haven’t seen or really spoken to in months

[sexynetra]

NEECH HAS FILLERS?!!??!

Yeah it’s the bane of my existence 😔

[scatteredcloud]

I wish society wasn’t fatphobic to the extent that people will congratulate you on your weight loss when you’ve lost weight because you’ve been physically and mentally ill all year.

Haha thanks it’s because I’ve been starving myself :] haha I’m so glad you think it’s appropriate to say that to anyone in any context but especially in this one where you’re speaking to someone who had thin privilege to begin with :]] you’re right it’s really cool and healthy for me to be the same weight I was as a 12 year old :]]] yeah it’s super cool of you to notice that I’ve been eating 1.5 meals a day and then think it’s a good thing :]]] hahaha thank you so much for reaffirming my disordered eating habits that’s really beneficial for me in trying to break those habits so thanks for reminding me that you think that it’s an acceptable and even morally superior way to live what the fuck is wrong with you hahaha :]

[hobisexually]

long winded rant in the tags coming that’s partly about weight but in a very unfiltered sad way so if that triggers you do Not read on

[deityofhearts]

It’s been very weird like, having an appetite again because for a long time I just didn’t/couldn’t eat much even when I was hungry for a variety of reasons and lately I have been able to eat more and have actually been hungry and gaining more weight and stuff and it’s just a thing I’m having to get use to

[goldkirk]

.

[rhysazriel]

When the Sun Rose [Azriel]

SUMMARY: After a drunken night of gentle kisses and truths spilled, when morning arrives, Azriel has no recollection of his earlier admittances. (1.4k)

WARNINGS: it’s pretty angsty, but nothing major!!

A/N: this is a rewrite of an old piece. It’s unlikely I’ll write a second part but I might be open to the possibility in the future. Sometimes I just love an angsty ending hehe

You’d seen him drunk plenty of times before. Been the one to race shots down your throat with him and later help him sober up before morning. You’d seen him in a lot of states before, you supposed that was just what came with being his best friend.

Best friend.

The thought caused a silent sad laugh to rumble in your stomach. You realised the sad truth that you were in love with him almost a year ago. Realised that the butterflies in your stomach and blush on your cheeks were more than just shyness when you gained his full attention.

But in the years you’d known of your feelings, you’d watched him have fling after fling, fuck after fuck, and come back to you in the mornings to gush about what position he had them in and how many times he made them cum with his fingers and mouth.

Tonight was a little different, though. Azriel had his hands all over you, his lips pressed against every spot of your neck and his hands gripping every inch of your waist. It had never been you beneath him in his bed, but tonight it was and you couldn’t believe it was finally happening.

He palmed at your chest beneath your shirt and tweaked your nipples deliciously. Your head rolled back into the pillow, fingers tangled in his dark hair and you tugged generously at the locks.

Azriel grunted into your neck, nosing up your jaw and smearing his lips against yours. “I‘m in love with you... love you, so fucking much,” he admitted breathlessly.

You could feel your heart leap in your heaving chest. Could feel your veins burst starlight into your bloodstream. You pulled his face back with both palms cupping his cheeks and scanned his eyes.

His skittish shadows wrapped around you both, gentle whispers that you couldn’t decipher but they only made him grin wider. Azriel nudged your nose with his, that floating feeling returning to your mind in full force. There was no way this was happening.

“You are? Please tell me you’re being serious… I’ve been in love with you for years,” you confessed back, ignoring the way the admission lifted a huge weight off your chest and Azriel was kissing you again, hard and tender.

And as quickly as it started, it ended. You fell asleep in each other's arms—you wearing your underwear and Az’s shirt and him in just his boxers. It was when the sun rose and he stirred from his slumber that his foggy mind tried to put the puzzle pieces together.

It wasn’t his room and there was the weight of a small female on his side. Azriel thought he’d just had another one night stand that clearly wasn’t worth remembering. But he noticed the hair colour and style and when he craned his neck, he realised who was half naked in his arms.

Azriel leapt from the bed in shock, eyes wide and his sudden movement startled you awake. His shadows skittered around him, alert and confused by their master's actions. It was when you stretched beneath the covers that he realised your outfit—or lack thereof and he thought the worst.

“Oh, shit,” he cursed blindly, hands dragging down his tired face and he couldn’t deal with a headache this big. You blinked away the slew and stared at him with furrowed brows, stuttering out a laugh. “Morning to you, too,” you rasped.

Azriel’s eyes were still blown wide and he didn’t understand how you were being so nonchalant. You’d never cuddled half naked before, never even shared a bed. Yes, you’d been best friends and extremely close, but a situation had never arisen where you’d had to share a damn bed.

“What are you... oh Gods, please tell me we didn’t... you know...” he gestured between you both and some sort of realisation began to well in your eyes. He didn’t remember.

You shook your head with a nervous laugh. “No, I mean we kissed a bit but that’s it... we just slept cuddling,” you explained, a faint smile on your face and Azriel took a deep breath.

You supposed it was him coming to terms with the fact that you finally kissed and you knew how he felt. At least, that was what you thought.

There was still panic on his face and he squeezed his eyes shut, taking another deep breath. “Did I like... say anything to you that I normally wouldn’t have said? Like I normally wouldn’t have kissed you,” he stared at your worry stricken face as a blush rose to your cheeks.

You stifled a laugh. “I mean, you did tell me that you’re in love with me,” you reminded him, a teasing smile on your lips and you expected him to grow bashful and throw himself on the bed, begging that he didn’t mean to admit it and that it was okay if you didn’t feel the same way.

You thought he just forgot how you both expressed your requited love.

But Azriel didn’t grow bashful and nervous. Instead, his marred hands were in his raven hair and he was groaning at himself. “I’m sorry. I say stupid shit when I’m drunk like that and I’m sorry, that must’ve been awkward for you.” He apologised, rubbing at his face.

His shadows cooed around his neck and face, seemingly attempting to console their master and coax him into a calmer state. You wondered if they were whispering reassurance that you loved him too.

You crawled across the bed, gentle smile on your lips and you were about to tell him to stop worrying, that you were in love with him too, but you stopped in the middle of the bed when he looked at you with a careful look in his eyes that you couldn’t quite place.

“Why would it be awkward?” You asked with a slight tilt of your head. You thought Az was going to tell you he was certain you didn’t love him back, but he frowned you instead, like his reasoning was the most obvious thing and let out a soft laugh.

“‘Cause I’m obviously not in love with you. Can’t imagine how awkward I’d feel if you told me you were in love with me but I didn’t know you were just shit-talking while you’re drunk,” he laughed comically but from his words, you felt your heart sink to your stomach and you thought you might be sick.

Your chest was tight and your head was spinning. You could physically feel the heartache in your fingertips and your entire body was buzzing in a numbing rage. You wanted to cry, could feel your throat swelling but you didn’t trust yourself to say anything without breaking down.

You cleared your throat and let off an awkward laugh. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be happening. You thought he meant it, thought your life was coming together, thought you’d finally feel loved. But it was all a lie.

He didn’t love you.

“Oh, yeah,” you mumbled, a frown on your lips. Azriel didn’t see it, though. He was too busy throwing another shirt on and shoving his legs in a pair of trousers from the night before.

Everything felt numb when he looked back at you with the normal cheeky glimmer in his eyes. His shadows had split in half. Some with him, swirling in agitation, and the others with you as they coiled around your cool skin in some offering of comfort.

And as you stared at his lips, you could feel them back on yours again, how they caressed your pout and offered you a sense of home and warmth.

You let yourself bask in the memory for as long as you could, because you knew you’d never get it again. You let the reality of the situation sink in. Let it sink in that not only did he not love you last night when he said he did, that not only did he not love you now, but that he never would.

And you let yourself hurt. Hurt because the love of your life would never feel the same, and you’d learned that in the most impossibly painful way. Because for a fleeting moment, you thought you knew what it felt like to be loved by him. But then the sun rose and so did the truth.

Now you prayed to the Mother that he didn’t one day remember what really happened that night. Prayed that his shadows would hold some loyalty to you and keep it your secret.

But when Azriel left your bedroom, they slithered out the door too.

Like nothing had happened.

Like they didn’t take your heart with them.

Thank you for reading!! If you enjoyed it, please give it a like and reblog!! <3

Azriel Tags

@serxndipity-ipity-blog / @erencvlt / @azswife / @lili-of-the-wildfire / @dreaming-unafraid / @dr4g0ngirl / @coconut-dreamz / @lilah-asteria / @a-frog-with-a-laptop / @whevegvekage / @weasleyreidstyles / @hayrunnwr / @fhgsvnh / @smitty-werbenjagermenjenson / @backstagepaige / @ntimacy / @whatsupb18 / @moonfawnx / @mybigboimork / @cherryjain17 / @isabella-bby / @i-love-your-shadows-baby / @louvmars / @katiebethx / @blitz-fall / @thot4ellie / @thezoddfather / @tequilya / @azrielsshadows42 / @pruvii / @wolfbc97 / @hpforever / @amanduh20

[icaruspendragon]

something the women in my family are absolutely flabbergasted by every time it comes up is the fact that i don’t own a scale.

“how do you know how much you weigh??” they cry.

“i don’t.” i simply respond.

“you look thinner, have you lost weight?” they ask at christmas.

“i dunno.” i say as i check on the turkey.

“you look bigger, have you gained weight?” they probe, as if my weight rests on their shoulders.

“i’m not sure, but it’s fine if i have.” i respond with a casualness they cannot comprehend.

“don’t you want to know if you’ve lost or gained?” they inquire over cups of coffee and a plate of untouched cookies.

“i do.” i take a sip. “which is why i don’t need to know.”

“we don’t understand.” they say.

“i’ll drive myself mad if i know. it’s been a question i’ve been looking for the answer to since i was in the seventh grade and my weight was the topic of conversation for the first time; the stretch marks on my calves puberty brought being questioned and condemned. and so i started weighing myself once a day. then twice a day. i gained weight as i grew and was told to stop. i got depressed when i was 16 and the weight i gained was more concerning than the scars on my thighs. the critiques turned to compliments during my first year of college when i’d started skipping meals and my body had to feed itself because i wouldn’t. everyday i stepped on the scale and smiled as i watched that number get smaller and smaller. hunger felt like victory. i started doing drugs that took away my appetite and then my strength. and started feeling guilt when my stomach felt full. and suddenly every time i looked in the mirror i hated what i saw. the more weight i lost, the better i was supposed to feel. each remark on another part of my body lost felt like a slap to the face. i was told i looked good but i knew i wasn’t good enough. and so i tried harder. and then i started to get dizzy when i stood. and i ignored it like i’d learned to ignore my hunger. and then one day at work i dropped like the weight that was never enough after i bending at the waist to grab a milk cap from the floor. and when the darkness faded, i was surrounded by panic as an ambulance was called. and then i was tested and prodded and poked because they thought something was wrong with my heart. and the problem persisted but they never found out why. but i’d known all along. and then i left home and its scale behind. and moved into a new home that was mine. so i bought plates and sheets and art for the walls. but i didn’t buy a scale. then every time i walked down an aisle i’d see the them and pause. and i’d think about the hunger i now kept at bay. and even though i didn’t know how much i weighed, i didn’t notice my body had changed. and i’d think about how i hadn’t been dizzy for months. and how i hadn’t fainted for longer. and then i’d keep on walking. and now most days i like how i look.”

“but don’t you want to be skinny?” comes their quiet response.

“i want to be myself in whatever body i have.”

they stare in disbelief. so i shrug my shoulders, and grab a cookie. and i smile at them as i swallow the first bite.

[fattystoriez]

Preston’s 18th Birthday

Content Warning: Incest, Homophobic Slurs, Weight Gain

Preston was a normal teenage boy, except for the fact that he was adopted by a gay couple when he was born. His mother didn’t want him and he learned that some time after he was born, she died. He knew nothing about his biological father, but he never stopped looking, his dads didn’t even know who his father was. His dads were great, but Preston never stopped wondering what life would be like had he been raised by his biological father.

A couple months ago, Preston’s biological father reached out through Facebook. His profile had no pictures and seemed to be new, but he had the DNA test from when he was born to prove his relation. His name is Travis, he’s in his mid 40’s and he is a construction worker. Despite not knowing what his dad looks like, Preston started to talk with his dad more and more. His two dads suggested that he meet his father for his 18th birthday before the party, Preston thought this was a great idea and so did his dad. So they had made plans to meet, he would chat and have lunch and come back to his house for his party.

Preston’s Birthday

Preston woke up to a massive aching boner, one that was begging to be released. “Oh GOD!” He moaned loudly as he grabbed the hard on, his underwear soaked in precum. “Fuck I don’t have time to take care of this” Preston thought, “I’ll just take a shower and maybe it’ll chill out.”Preston’s cock calmed down after he took cold shower, but he could help but notice that he was still very horny. He threw on a t-shirt, a pair of briefs and some gym shorts. Preston checked his phone, it was 11:30am already, he needed to hurry or he’d be late for lunch with his dad. He went downstairs saying bye to his dads, got into his car and headed towards Travis’s place, his cock slowly leaking precum the whole way there.

Preston noticed as he was getting closer that his dad lived in a trailer park, which was fitting given he is a construction worker. He didn’t realize how nice he had it with his dads, living in a suburban home with a nice new car and electronics. Travis would barely be able to afford rent let alone all of Preston’s nice commodities. Preston knocked on the door, he heard heavy footsteps walk towards the door and it swung open to reveal Travis.

Travis was HUGE! His tight orange shirt couldn’t even cover his massive belly, and his underwear… or are they shorts??? They looked tight on his waist. His face was covered by a bushy beard, hair that the top of his head lacked. He still has some hair around the sides of his head, which only added to his grotesque appearance. “Preston!” The massive bear of a man said with a thick southern accent, he squeezed Preston in a tight hug, the contact making his cock leak some pre cum. “I’m so glad you’re finally here, I’ve been waiting to watch- I mean… see you all day!”

Travis showed Preston into the trailer, it was dingy and grimy, Travis clearly doesn’t know how to pick up after himself. Preston could tell he also didn’t smell the best, having a very distinct and vile musk that emanated from him “I’ve been excited too…” Preston noticed the massive amount of food that was over in the kitchen area. “Is that… for lunch today?” Preston was confused, there was no way two people could eat that much, even if Travis was a massive hog.

“Of course it for lunch big guy! You’re 18!” Travis said that as if Preston should know what that means, it was then that Preston felt his stomach gurgle in hunger. “But let’s start with your birthday cake, I made it special myself.” Travis walked Preston to the dining table and pulled out the most delicious cake Preston has ever seen.

“Oh you really didn’t have to do this much, there’s no way I’m eating all of this.” Preston said as he sat down, Travis cutting him a slice of cake. “Oh it chocolate, that’s actually my favorite.” Preston took a bite of the cake and it was the most delicious thing he had ever eaten in his life, it even made his cock stand back up. “Oh god… this is good!”

“I thought you might like it, made it with my own secret recipe.” Travis went behind Preston, massaging his shoulders as his son starts to pig out on the rest of the cake. “It’s a tradition for men in our family to eat like this on their 18th birthday, son.” Preston couldn’t stop himself from eating more of the cake, he couldn’t process what was going on. “When men in our family hit adulthood, we grow quickly into slobbish pigs.”

Preston was having a hard time processing the information, he couldn’t stop eating the cake long enough to worry about what was happening to him. “Oh god… daddy what’s happening to me?” Preston’s voice started to have a light souther accent that could barely be heard through the chewing.

Preston’s body started to plump up quickly, his abs from his years in track were fading away. “You can’t stop the change, son.” Travis started to feed Preston once the cake was gone, “Your faggot daddies couldn’t have prepared you for this son, they wouldn’t know what to do with a pig like you.” Preston’s head was spinning, his body getting fatter and fatter as his body gives in to his DNA.

Preston’s once smooth chest has pumped into two soft moobs that jiggled with every bite, his jawline started to fade as the fat started to accumulate. Preston was in a blissfully perverted shock as his whole life was being ruined by this pig of a man, his cock rock hard was leaking like a faucet, soaking his underwear. “Daddy… I’m getting so fat…” Preston moaned in between foods, “w-why do I sound like this daddy… w-“

“Shhhhhh” Travis shushed Preston as he shoved a greasy slice of pizza into his mouth. “You’re becoming just like your daddy, and your daddies daddy, as so on. You come from a long line of perverted hogs.” Travis gripped Preston’s cock with his other hand, “my daddy helped me out exactly like this, fattened me up real good.” Travis pumped Preston’s leaking cock as he told him how much of a pig he was going to become. “You’re gonna love it boy, you’ll be able to turn other men into fat hogs just like us. It one of our many talents, one that I can’t wait for you to use.” Preston was in a fattening bliss, listening to the hypnotic words coming out of his daddies mouth as he played with his own fattening body.

“Oh daddy… daddy I’m gonna-“ Preston released, soaking his underwear and his dad’s hand, this act of finishing sealed Preston’s already inevitable fate. “Oh god daddy, look what you’ve done to me…”

Preston’s belly was as big as his daddies, he couldn’t stop jiggling the soft flesh that had taken over his body. “I didn’t do nothin’ boy, this was your natural calling.” Travis took a doughnut, wiped Preston’s cum into it and fed it to his son.

After Preston was done chewing his specially glazed doughnut he wondered who he could make into a fat piggy himself, the he thought of his faggoty dads. “Let’s go visit my dads, daddy!”

“Of course boy, those faggots are gonna piss their pants when they see how big you’ve grown.” Travis helped Preston up and walked his half-naked fat ass to Travis’s pickup truck, the two whales could barely fit in it together. “We’ve got a party to get to, boy.”

Part 2?

[lewisvinga]

young and beautiful | oscar piastri x fem! reader

summary; due to her pregnancy, y/n wonders if oscar will always love her, if he will love her after she’s had their baby, after she’s no longer young and beautiful

warnings; mentions of pregnancies (duh), body image, insecurities, reader is mentioned as religious at the end but it will make sense 😣

taglist; @namgification

word count; 1.2k

note; think this is the longest written fic i’ve done lol

‘born to die’ series masterlist !

f1 masterlist !

“What should we ask Daddy to bring us, little bee?” Y/n hums, patting her swollen belly as she rummaged through her closet for her silly pajamas.

Oscar was about to leave a meeting and promised to bring her whatever she wanted. It seemed like the bee, their baby, was craving Mexican food. Y/n hums to a tune as she sends a quick message to her husband before grabbing the silky pink pajamas.

She kept her hands on her stomach out of habit. Now that she was nearing 8 months, her stomach had grown significantly. She missed her small bump from the first trimester, but having a huge stomach was inevitable.

Y/n lets out a deep sigh as she takes off the maternity dress she wore for errands. She glances in the mirror and notices the bright red marks on her stomach. She applied many types of creams to try to avoid getting stretch marks but she couldn’t avoid it.

As much as she loved how hard her body was working for her and her baby, she hated seeing those same red marks. Her mind wandered off to how she was going to look after having her baby.

She’s seen plenty of videos on motherhood. A few talked about how different a mother's body will be after childbirth. Many gain weight and many have loose skin that will stay forever unless they get plastic surgery. She’s also heard stories of women whose husbands or boyfriends left them due to how different their bodies looked afterward.

Y/n began to overthink as she stared at herself in the mirror, dressed in nothing but a comfortable pair of bra and underwear. She knew she would no longer have the body she had before becoming pregnant.

Her skin will be all loose. Her stomach will be all flabby. Her chest will become bigger than usual and most likely end up uneven from breastfeeding. She was absolutely terrified that Oscar would no longer love her.

Even if the Australian driver practically praised the ground she walked on, Y/n was terrified of him leaving all because her body wouldn’t look the same. She hadn’t realized how much time had passed and how her eyes were tearing up until she heard his voice.

“Y/n? Love, where are you?”

“I’m changing!” She calls out in a panic, pushing her thoughts to the back of her head as she rushes to put on her silk pajamas. She rushes out of their shared room and down the stairs. Oscar calls her to be careful as she approaches the dining room.

“Osc! We missed you.” She says with a soft smile, wrapping her arms around him as much as she can despite her belly. He kissed the top head in reply and gently patted her stomach.

“Hope you’re hungry because it smells amazing.” He says with a chuckle, taking the boxes of food out from the brown bag. Her craving for Mexican food quickly covered up her insecure thoughts from moments before.

She had forgotten about them until she had just finished doing her skincare routine before going to bed. She had struggled a bit to lean down to wash her face.

Oscar was quick to notice her mood as she walked waddled back into their shared room. She lets out a huff, laying down on her side beside him, and keeps her eyes on the TV playing some random movie.

“Love, are you okay?”

Silence fills the room as Oscar asks the question. Y/n couldn’t help but tear up at his gentle tone. She felt stupid for overthinking that he could ever leave her when he’d do everything for her, even stopping by the grocery store after getting take out because she only liked a specific vanilla ice cream with her churros.

“It’s stupid.” She mumbles, wiping her tears away before he could notice. Unfortunately for her, he immediately noticed. The McLaren driver furrowed up his eyebrows in concern as he shuffled closer to her, gently wiping away her tears.

“It’s not stupid if it makes you cry, my love.”

“It’s just-“ She began, pausing to take a deep breath. “My body looks so different. I appreciate it for growing our little bee but it’s going to look so different. I already have so many stretch marks and after I have our little bee, my stomach is gonna be all flabby and stretched out!” She cries out, turning to look at an even more concerned Oscar.

“Love-“

“And I’ve heard stories of husbands leaving their wives after childbirth and after getting older and having multiple children. I’m not gonna look the same as I did a year ago, Oscar.” Y/n takes a deep shaky breath, letting the tears go, “I’m scared you’re gonna take a look at me with disgust. Will you still love me after? When I’m no longer young and beautiful? I hope you will. I mean, I know you will. But it’s just-“

“Y/n.” Oscar interrupted her, cradling her tear-stained face with her hands. He wiped away the tears from her rosy cheeks as he gently kissed her. “I will always love you. From a year ago during hot summer nights in mid-July, when we were wild, to a year from now when we’re holding our baby in our arms. Y/n, you’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on. I love everything about you, your pretty face and electric soul. Yes, your body will look different but that’s because you’re working so hard to give our little bee the growth she needs. But I will always love you, when we’re young, when we’re old, and when we’re nothing but souls floating around.”

His words made her tear up even more. He lets out a chuckle, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pulling her in close. “See this?” He questions, holding up his hand and showing the gold ring on his ring finger. “You’re stuck with me forever whether you like it or not, my love.”

Y/n lets out a shaky laugh, sniffing as she uses her tear-stained silk sleeves to wipe her nose. She looks up at him with nothing but adoration. Her face immediately seemed to light up compared to how she was feeling before. She reached up to gently caress his cheek. He was like her sun. He always knew how to make her shine like diamonds.

“Bee and I are so lucky to have you, Osc.” She whispered as she leaned in, kissing his lips softly. Oscar pulled her in as close as he could, deepening their kiss.

“More like I’m lucky to have you.” He whispers against her lips, “I’d be dead without you.” He adds as they pull away. She lets out a small laugh, lightly hitting his shoulder as they settle in bed.

She wasn’t overthinking anymore due to his reassurance. She lay against his chest as they watched the movie that was playing softly in the background.

Y/n started to get tired when she noticed Oscar became fast asleep. She lets out a yawn and gets comfortable against his side but not before whispering a quick prayer.

Dear Lord, when I get to Heaven, please let me bring my man. When he comes, tell me that you’ll let him in. Father, tell me if you can.

[cupcakeinat0r]

Thinkin abt Dad bod! Miguel again…

Relationship weight gain is kinda inevitable when both parties are in absolute love with each other, and Miguel, despite being a total specimen, is no exception to this.

By now, you and Miguel have been dating for quite a bit, and you noticed Miguel getting a lil chunky. Not something you protested. At all. In fact, you were living for it. Yea, Miguel was gorgeous with those rock hard abs and that slutty waist of his that you were beginning to envy, but once his dad bod came in… dayum.

Miguel, however, did feel slightly embarrassed about it all, even though you reminded him everyday that he’s literally the most gorgeous man. Ever. It wasn’t about him, though. He was more concerned about you; that you wouldn’t see him the same way anymore, but you didn’t mind reassuring him a million times that he is all you want and ever need. Plus, it’s a dad bod, literally the best bod, like, c’mon now.

You’d watch him walk around the house with sweatpants on and no shirt, perky pecs (you could’ve sworn he had more titty than you, Jesus Christ), chest hair, pumped arms, fluffy abdomen and a tiny peek of a happy trail that could make your womanhood quiver. All that on full display for you and only you to ogle at. God, he was gorgeous. You, lying in bed, would bite your lip at the piece of work in front of you. Miguel was hunched over on his computer, which he dwarfed with his hands and build, reviewing some lab reports. Your eyes traced along his muscles, some of his stretch marks, and the one or two rolls he had on his side. How can a man look so delicious even while working?

“Whatcha looking at, mama?” He doesn’t look up.

“Oh, nothing… just the most beautiful human being I’ve ever seen.”

He finally looks up from the computer and smiles at you.

“That’s all you, mamita.”

You smile back. You still get butterflies with this man. You reach your arms out.

“C’mere, come to bed. I need my teddy bear.”

He chuckles. “ya mismo, beba, I only have one more left. I’ll be right there.”

You drop your hands in defeat. He says only one more, but you knew it would take him at least like 30 minutes to look over those things. He likes to be real thorough with them. You loved that your man had brains, but sometimes you wish he would just relax once in a while.

An idea flickered in your mind.

“Baby…”

“Yea, mama?” He mumbles, eyes concentrated on his screen.

“…how many kids would you want?”

He immediately perks up. Oh, now you’ve got his undivided attention.

“Kids?” He says, almost a little too excited, “What made you think about that?”

“Ohhh, I dunno… it’s just that you’ve got this dad look goin’ and… it’s been making think, y’know?”

“‘Dad look’?” He says with a humored smile.

“Well yea… I really like it. You’re lookin husky and thick, it’s so… sexy.”

The computer has been officially closed. Your plan is working.

“Oh yea?” His voice becomes lower, more sensual, as he climbs onto bed, his gaze becoming hungry. Miguel towers over you until he settles down on the comforter, nestled up right next to you, his thick thigh draped over both of yours. He rests his burly arm over your stomach, pulling you even closer to his warm body. Now that he lays next to you on the bed, you feel way smaller against him. You loved that.

“Mhm… it’s hard to not picture you with our future kids when you’re walking around here lookin’ like that. I’d make you such a cute daddy.” You coo, your hands brushing against his chest, playing with the hair there, occasionally caressing down to his soft mid-section. “Aw, baby… and I’d make you such a beautiful mommy,” Miguel groans into your neck, placing a kiss there, his hand goes up under his t shirt you’re wearing, caressing circles on your stomach as he imagines a bump there, “fuck, just thinking about you being pregnant makes me hot.“ His hand moves up to grab one of your breasts, giving it a light squeeze, his index finger giving your bud some attention, “and these filled with milk? coño, no puedo esperar.” He moans, his voice strained.

“So how many you want, daddy? Name a number and I’ll give em’ to you.”

Miguel just looks at you dumbfounded. He doesn’t know whether to get emotional or just pin you to the bed and fill you up with his kid to get a head start on this family. He thinks he’ll choose the latter.

“Mamita, I want however many you can give me.” he grabs you by the chin and smashes his lips against yours in a tongue-eating kiss. “Mmgonna look so pretty all swollen for me.” He then placed himself in between your legs, completely caging you in his broad shoulders and arms, his belly brushing up against your stomach. It’s not the only thing you feel, as you also feel his thick hard on when his hips start grinding against your weeping cunt.

“Mi princesita wants to make me a daddy, huh?” He says in a mocking voice. You nod, making a timid noise, aroused by his dominance. You look down to see a wet spot on his sweatpants, his precum seeping through from your little daddy talk no doubt. His mouth sucks and nips at the delicate skin on your neck, your shirt being hastily raised, your now wet panties shortly following the shirt. You’re in for it now. A victorious smirk growing on your face knowing that that last report would be saved for another day.

“Baby, What about your report?”

“It can wait.”

Spoiler alert: He rails you like a dog in heat, cream pies you multiple times, and makes sure none of it goes to waste!!! <3333 u got what u wanted!!! Yay!!!

A/n: He is very gorjus to me, ur honor!!! <33333

Want more DadBod!Miguel ? Here’s my master list, bae!!!

[otomegamesforlife]

Sympathetic Pregnancy 1/4: [Zayne x Reader]

The boys are in for a surprise when they start experiencing sympathetic pregnancy symptoms—before they even realize you’re expecting! One shots of how the chaos unfolds: Completed:

Zayne: Completely baffled and convinced something’s off with his medical expertise. A03 link here

Rafayel: Turns into the biggest baby (as if he isn't already) A03 link here

Xavier: Positive he’s at death’s door (spoiler: he’s not). A03 link here

In-Progress:

Sylus: Frantically consulting underground doctors, fearing it’s a core malfunction.

Each reaction is uniquely ridiculous, but they all prove just how in sync they are with you—whether they like it or not!

"Couvade syndrome, also called sympathetic pregnancy, is a proposed condition in which an expectant father experiences some of the same symptoms and behavior as his pregnant partner. These most often include major weight gain, altered hormone levels, morning nausea, and disturbed sleep patterns- Wikipedia"

Zayne prided himself not just on his medical achievements but on his ability to diagnose and perform surgeries with precision. Yet now, his head rested against the cold rim of the toilet bowl, his stomach violently rejecting his breakfast. It felt like forever, though he knew it wasn’t—he’d timed the intervals. He had run every test, scrutinized every blood result, and confirmed there was nothing medically wrong with him. So why was this happening?

The sound of your voice, soft yet tinged with disappointment, cut through his misery. “I feel horrible when you don’t tell me you’re sick.”

Disappointment. Out of all the emotions he never wanted to evoke in you, that one was the hardest to bear. He cherished how much you relied on him, how implicitly you trusted him. He wanted to argue, to tell you he didn’t want to worry you. You were often still asleep when this happened, or away on late missions. He just wanted you to rest. But his stomach twisted again, and he retched, finding solace in the warmth of your hand rubbing his back. Despite the disappointment in your voice, the fact that you were there, comforting him, meant everything.

You handed him a cup of jasmine tea, the familiar scent soothing him as he took a sip. The nausea began to ease, allowing him to finally speak. He tried to explain, but even he was unsure of what was happening.

"You—you’re not sure?" Your confusion mirrored the turmoil inside him. He had studied for years, mastered complex cases, but this? He couldn’t pin it down. Zayne closed his eyes, searching for answers, until he felt your arms encircle him from behind.

"Whatever it is, I’m sure you’ll figure it out. You’re extremely competent, after all." A gentle kiss brushed his cheek, followed by a sigh. "God forbid, it’s nothing terminal, yeah?"

"No," he reassured, "all the tests—multiple of them—came out fine."

Your sigh of relief warmed his cheek, and he turned slightly to face you. "Since we’re on the topic of tests, I got the email that you’re scheduled with me tomorrow."

"Yeah, I’ve been extra good lately, so I think you’ll be happy with all the results." That smile you gave him—it always disarmed him. Zayne often marveled at how fortunate he was to have you. If anyone else saw that smile, they’d be foolish not to try and steal you away. He pulled you closer, pressing a kiss to your lips.

"You’re incredibly attractive when you take care of yourself."

"And I don’t even stand a chance with the best doctor feeding me delicious, healthy food." You pecked his lips. "Plus, I get a workout here and at work." You winked, snapping him out of his reverie. He twisted around, pulling you behind the couch and onto his lap.

"I noticed you missed our workout last night. We can’t let that slide."

A giggle escaped your lips just before Zayne silenced you with a kiss.

You were so confident in your results that you demanded a whole day of exclusive time with him. Zayne couldn’t help but smile—there was nowhere else he’d rather be. He left you at home, agreeing to meet at the new café instead of going together. When he arrived at the office to retrieve your files, Yvonne greeted him with a wide smile, but before he could ask anything, she was whisked away by another urgent matter.

He took your files to his office, intending to send the necessary documents to the association and check them off his list. As he scanned the results, a smile tugged at his lips—you had every right to be confident. Regular check-ups were mandatory for hunters like you, given the nature of your work. It allowed Zayne to monitor your health both as your doctor and as your husband, a dual role he relished.

But then he froze. Pregnant. The word jumped out at him, and he had to read it again. He double-checked the name—yes, it was yours. Needing further confirmation, he booted up his computer, pulling up your test data directly from the lab.

And then it clicked. Couvade syndrome. He was experiencing symptoms because his body subconsciously knew about your pregnancy. He was that attuned to you, to your body… Zayne couldn’t help but dive into the medical journals, reviewing cases he’d read before but now through a personal lens. Everything lined up—the glow you had, his unexplained symptoms. It was real, and it was a relief.

A glance at the clock told him he had an hour before meeting you. Tucking your file out of sight, he shut down his computer. Today wasn’t just about a date—he needed to commemorate the precious gift you were giving him.

He brought you a bouquet—jasmine, as always, but this time with baby’s breath, pink, and white tulips. He didn’t want to celebrate in public, so he headed home instead. When he arrived, you were there, your hair half-curled, looking worried.

"Darling! I thought we agreed to meet at the new macaron shop?" He nodded, handing you the flowers. Your confusion melted into a delighted smile. "I really wanted to meet up there, but I’ll forgive you because you brought me flowers and—” you paused, examining him closely, “you look especially handsome today—more than usual."

Zayne felt his ears warm. He knew he wasn’t unattractive, but when you said it so directly, it always caught him off guard. “You’re distracting me.”

“A good type of distraction, I hope?” You teased, leaning in, eyes sparkling as you watched his blush deepen.

Zayne cleared his throat, looking away for a moment to collect himself. “You were right about your tests; they were excellent.”

"Told ya." You smirked, eyes darting to the bouquet. "Baby’s breath, tulips, and jasmine—haven’t seen that combination from you before."

"Because it represents something else." He took the bouquet from your hands, setting it down before taking yours. "We’re expecting a new addition to our family."

Your eyes widened, disbelief flickering across your face. You squeezed his hand tighter, your voice barely above a whisper. "Really?"

"I just saw the tests. And…"

You pulled back slightly. "Yes?"

"My symptoms—they’re because my body knew about your pregnancy."

You giggled, the sound light and full of joy. "You’re just a doctor through and through, huh?"

"More like my body is so attuned to yours, I picked up on the symptoms." He teased, brushing his nose against yours before kissing you softly.

You paused, a thought crossing your mind. “Actually, Yvonne’s message might be related to this.”

“Yvonne?” Zayne watched as you led him to the bedroom, pulling out your phone. You showed him the article she sent. After he finished reading, a follow-up message from Yvonne appeared: “I heard from my mom it’s a foolproof way of knowing your husband loves you more than you love them.”

Zayne pinched the bridge of his nose. "They must have noticed the extra tests I ran lately."

You wrapped your arms around his neck, locking your hands behind his nape. “The message is more appealing than the article, really. I’ve always known you love me, but this? Foolproof.”

“If you need someone else to validate my love, I’ll have to work harder.” Zayne scooped you up into his arms.

“Darling, we’re still going out, right?”

“If you can still walk after, sure.”

“ZAYNE!”

I know our resident doctor is intelligent but let's face it he could be silly when it comes to himself. He probably didn't even consider it initially.😂

[lockburn-castle]

midnight snack | yoon jeonghan

synopsis in which you feel guilty having a midnight snack pairing nonidol!yoon jeonghan x gn!reader genre fluff warnings food mentions, dieting concerns, late night eating, terms of endearment/petnames (babe, hannie), a small kiss at the end, do let me know if theres more word count 0.4k

notes: i just tried the habenaro buldak ramyeon and i thought of this fic. its my first one so i hope its up to standard ! ps i like the habanero better than the original <3

Jeonghan and you were already in bed when your stomach growled for the second time, much louder than the first. “You hungry?” Jeonghan asked, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah… but I’m trying not to think about it,” you replied, sipping water from your Stanley. “What? Why?” he questioned, now sitting up and facing you with concern.

“I’m thinking of going on a diet. I feel like I’ve been snacking too much lately and gaining back the weight I lost from going to the gym,” you explained, avoiding his eyes.

“Babe… you’ve been hitting the gym a lot. It's okay to treat yourself once in a while,” he said, his eyes darting between yours and the Stanley cup in your hands. “I know, but still,” you muttered, still not meeting his gaze.

Jeonghan’s heart ached to see you struggle. He knew how much effort you put into staying fit, but he couldn't let you go to bed hungry. “Tell you what, let’s share a packet of your favorite instant noodles. How about that?”

Your face lit up, but then you slumped back into the bed. “I can’t, Hannie. I’ll feel guilty,” you said, hugging the bottle tighter. “Okay, then think of it as us being guilty together, alright?” He gently lifted your chin to meet his eyes. “Yn, I promised I’d do everything with you. Having a midnight snack is included. Plus, I can’t bear to see you go to bed with your stomach growling.”

After a few moments, you finally nodded. Jeonghan immediately jumped out of bed and rushed to the kitchen, afraid you might change your mind. You followed him and saw he was already boiling water in a pot and pulling out a packet of your favorite habanero and lime buldak ramen.

As Jeonghan brought the ramen over (he insisted you sit on the sofa and enjoy your show while he cooked), you noticed he had added two eggs and sliced beef to the dish. “Hannie…” you said, hugging him tightly. “Thought you might like it more,” he smiled.

“Thank you, Hannie,” you said, giving him a peck on the lips before diving into the feast.

“Hey! I made it for us to share!” he protested as you took a big spoonful. You grinned sheepishly. “Sorry, I’m just really hungry.”

You didn’t notice the way Jeonghan smiled at you, while you were too busy enjoying your midnight snack.

[honeybelly]

The thought of struggling with mobility is so hot to me 😅 getting so big the only way I could get around is with some type of aid

It would start off with small milestones, a few of which I’ve already started to hit. Getting breathless when I’m forced to walk will become more and more frequent; the distance of walking before the wheezing starts would start to shrink.

I’m already adverse to moving and do it as little as possible. The next milestone would be taking a moment to get to my feet. I definitely notice a difference from when I was thin to my current weight. Packing 50lbs on a short frame leaves an impact. My belly is starting to shift my center of gravity. The more it starts to hang down the more I’ll have to adjust.

Overall I’m a bit less coordinated. I’m sure that’s a product of the amount of weed I smoke and my complete and total lack of activity. I find myself tripping and bumping into things more easily. I’ll become even less physically capable with every pound gained.

In addition to struggling to my feet I’ll also start to have issues with picking stuff up. Getting socks and shoes on my feet will only get harder the more my belly mounds up and the heavier my legs get. Everything will be more difficult.

In my wet dreams I imagine myself huge and soft, with my ass planter on a mobility scooter. The only way I’d agree to go out is if I can stay scooter bound and there’s food. The scooter would start to creak the longer it was used, threatening to break down as more mass is added to the load.

At home I see myself having to hold onto the wall and shuffle forward inch by painful inch to get around. I’m only spurred on with the knowledge I can sit down again and the promise of more to eat.

Getting so big you become helpless. Forced to struggle under your self created mass. Body pushed beyond what it was meant to do. All of this would scare the average person, but to me it’s body goals 🤤

[eideticmemory]

A LONG DAY | MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER

At the end of a long day, your husband really is the best person to come home to.

Word Count: 2.9k

Warning/Includes: Husband!Matthew !!! Dad!Matthew !!! Delusional fluff!! Even more delusional smut!!

The worst part of getting home so late isn’t the body aches, it isn’t the exhaustion, it’s not even the dozens of bright headlights that blind you on the way home. It’s the darkness. Everything is so dark. You pull into the driveway and the porch light is out, the garage is pitch black. Shutting your car off, you take a moment to lean your head back and sigh, gaining the strength to grab all of your crap, open the door and stumble through the garage. You trip over your daughter’s bike, but you catch yourself and you think you’re going to burst into tears. Instead, you step into the basement where it is almost as dark, save for the soft light of TV where your husband sits on the couch, doing absolutely nothing but wait for you.

Matthew turns around and his face just instantly lights up, “Hey, mama,” he rises to his feet. He takes your bag, your lunchbox and sets them down so he can give you a big, tight, hug. Arms wrapped securely around your waist, face buried in your neck, he whispers, “I missed you.”

And your entire body melts into his, your hands gripping onto his shoulders as you sigh out, “I missed you.” Then he hugs you tighter, lifts you off your feet.

When he puts you down, you still don’t let go, and he chuckles under his breath, but he holds you until you’re ready to let go.

“How are the babies?” you ask him.

“Oh, they’re good,” he nods, and he takes your hand, guides you over to the monitors perched on the coffee table. “They’re asleep. Went down pretty easy.”

“Did they ask about me?” You ask, leaning down to caressing Leo’s face on the screen.

“C’mon, you know they did,” Matthew smiles. “I told them that you were at work but you love them and you’d see them first thing in the morning.”

Your fingertips trace Amelia’s face, and then slowly over Rhiannon’s and it makes you so very sad. Heavy weight on your shoulders, deep in your chest, sad. When you get home late and it’s pitch dark, bedtime has come and gone. The day has come and gone. And the guilt absolutely eats you alive.

Matthew rubs your back, running the heel of his hand up your spine, “Have you eaten?”

You sigh, “Not since lunch,” shaking your head, standing up straight.

“Oh god, babe, let me make you something.”

You release a sharp breath from your nose and instantly rest your forehead on his shoulder.

You are so tired.

“Hm?” he hums, holding you tight.

You give nothing more than a nod, but that’ll do.

“Yeah?” he whispers. “Okay, let’s go upstairs.”

He follows behind you with your stuff up and you close the door behind him, officially lock the house up for the night. Walking towards the stairs, you take a look around and comment, “It’s clean as hell in here.”

He laughs, “Well, thank you for noticing. Shout out to your kids for taking some good naps today so I could actually get some of their shit picked up.”

You give him a dry laugh. It would’ve been louder but you just simply lack the energy.

“Oh, baby, you’re tired,” he kisses your cheek. “Go ahead,” he nods towards the stairs. “I’ve got your food. Go lay down, mama.”

And you really don’t need to be told twice. So you give him a gentle kiss, a quiet, “Thank you,” and you drag yourself up the stairs. You hop in the shower with the pure intention of making it quick, but you take a seat on the floor, letting the water run over your body for much longer than you mean to. Still a bit damp, you throw on Matthew’s shirt and crawl into your bed on all fours, collapsing on the mattress when you reach your designated side. Snuggling into your pillow, you moan under your breath, the relief and comfort washing over you all at once.

Matthew steps into the room, quietly closing the door behind him. And with him is a small plate topped with a sub sandwich and a side of chips. “Is this okay, baby?”

You roll over to take a look, at the sandwich done up with your favorite meats and cheese, the chips you go to when you need a snack. And it is so obvious that someone who knows you and loves you put it together. “Yes, my love,” you smile. “Yes, it’s perfect. Thank you.” You take the plate from him and set it on your nightstand.

“You sure?” he asks as he crawls in beside you, plops down on the bed. “I packed you the same thing for lunch tomorrow, but if you’d prefer something else, I can do that for you.”

You look up at him, run your finger over his collarbone, hook it onto the collar of his shirt. You go to speak, but you lose your train of thought as you touch his hair and his chin, “…take your pants off.”

And you swear, he nearlys goes - what? - but he catches himself. He shuts himself up very quickly and nods, no questions asked. He slides his pants over his hips and down his legs, his briefs flying off the edge right along with them.

You push your panties down, kick them off like it’s what they were meant for all along. As you climb on top of Matthew, his breath catches in his chest and he moans at the soft touch of your lips on his. His arms take you in out of instinct, his hands work their way up your waist and grope your boobs. You hum, holding his face in your hands as you grind your hips on him, feel his cock come alive between your legs.

The warmth of it all has him struggling to keep sane, with him constantly groaning against your lips, digging his nails into your thighs.

“Wait, wait,” he huffs, pushing your hair out of your face. “Don’t…don’t you wanna eat first?”

“Mm-mm,” You shake your head, arch your back and tangle your hands in his hair, “After.”

He nods and opens his mouth just a bit so your tongue can slide between his lips. Your mouths gets slimy and slippery but the two of you cannot stop. You only part so you can spit into your own palm, which you proceed to rub over your pussy. Matthew watches you in astonishment, his eyes glistening as you purr and touch yourself so close to his cock. When you notice, you give him a slutty smile, bite down on your lip and it almost kills him.

He pulls you in for another kiss. This one, longer. Dirtier, all consuming. You grab onto his rock hard cock, covering him in your saliva, feeling him twitch in your palm. His breath shudders and he buckles underneath you, looking up at you with hooded and heavy eyes. You press your nose into his, aligning his cock so that you sink onto it just right.

The small whine you let out is eclipsed by his deep, “Oh!” and he quiets down, muttering, “Fuck…”

You brace yourself on his shoulders, your foreheads pressed together as you move yourself up and down. Slow at first, but then Matthew rests his head on the headboard, his jaw dropped and his forehead beading with sweat and he mumbles, “Oh my god…”

“Yeah?” you moan, caressing his face, and your hips pick up in speed. In intensity, landing on him with a loud, wet thump each time.

“Oh, fuck yes, baby,” he whimpers. “Come here,” he pulls you in by the back of your neck, kissing you with his other hand planted firmly on your ass.

You run your hands down his biceps, squeezing them as you whine from the back of your throat. Your body loses energy but can’t stop bouncing on him, grinding your clit into his tummy. Your breath is shaky, but strong enough to grow in volume, your jaw dropping against Matthew’s mouth as you release your incessant moans. He puts his open mouth on your neck, his tongue on your skin and you gasp, dropping your hips on him, “Fuck!”

“Mm…” he hums, taking a quick bite of your neck, “Oh god, I love you. I fucking love you.”

And instead of saying it back, you just wrap your arms around his shoulders, squeeze him in a hug. He knows.

You grind your teeth together but it’s not enough to keep you quiet. You cry out directly in his ear and claw at the headboard, the motion in your hips becoming careless and sloppy. But, oh, so perfect. Your eyes roll back as you sit up straight, his eyes trained on you and only you.

“You gonna come?” he whispers.

You nod, “I’m gonna come.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I’m…f-fuck…” your eyes cross over one another and you focus all your energy on stimulating your clit, letting yourself get there.

“Fuck!” you shout. “Fu…Matthew…” you moan.

“What is it, baby?” he holds your waist. “Hm?”

You respond with a loud and sudden gasp, followed by a breathy groan that echoes off the walls. Matthew can practically feel the vibration and he can feel your thighs tight around his waist and your pussy tightening around his cock. You stutter and you mumble until it’s nothing more than his name coming out on constant and whiny loop.

“Matthew-“ you choke out. “F-fuck…” until you lose your breath. “Matthew. Oh god, Matthew. Matthew, Matthew…”

“I know, I know,” he whispers, tapping his finger to his lips, “Shhh, shhh, shhh…”

“Matth-mm…” he shuts you up with a kiss and your entire body tenses on contact. He mushes his face into yours but still, you will not stop. You will not shut up because it’s not possible. So he keeps his mouth on yours. He swallows every noise you make and muffles his own against your lips. His arms engulf your waist and you bury your face in his neck, helpless moans bursting from the back of your throat.

“Okay, okay…” he murmurs. “Shhh…just let it out for me, baby…c’mon…”

You gasp as you come down on his cock, your body weakening by the second, your arms draped over his shoulders. You lick his neck and he groans, “Shit.”

You grip onto him. Tighter, and even tighter, working your hips until you come with a long and loud groan, which would’ve been much louder if Matthew wasn’t holding the back of your head, pushing your face into his neck. You fall limp against him, grinding yourself on his lap to ride the wave.

“Oh, that’s my girl,” he purrs, peppering kisses on your shoulder.

You shudder and let out a small squeak, overstimulated as he starts to lift his hips, push his cock into you. “O-oh, fuck,” he stutters.

You hold his face, run your hands down his chest and watch his belly flex as he angles himself inside of you. You can hardly keep yourself up, keep your eyes open, but when he very suddenly chokes out a moan and lifts you off his cock, you gasp, “Oof!” and he shoots all over his stomach. He just didn’t want to make a mess on you. Or, in you. It’s been such a long day.

He trembles, his face twisted up as he finishes all over himself. And his muscles relax into this content smile, which widens once he gets a good look at you.

“Fuck…” he exhales, gives you a light slap on the cheek, “You’re loud, woman.”

You chuckle, covering your mouth, “And this is news to you?”

“Oh, no,” he shakes his head, laughing, “Definitely not.”

You lean down and catch him in a kiss. This one, gentle. Slow. Sweet. He pecks at your lips and promptly pats your ass, “Let me go get cleaned up, mama.”

You nod and roll right off of him, landing face first into your pillow. You feel the bed shift as he stands, but cannot muster the energy to watch him walk away. He returns to find you in the same position and because you are too lazy to look up, you don’t see it coming when he slaps your ass.

“Ow!” you shout and now you look at him.

“You still have to eat,” he grins, placing himself back in bed.

You bury your face in the pillow, whining, “But I’m so tired.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he reaches over you and grabs the plate from your nightstand. “You still gotta eat. C’mon, c’mon.”

You groan and roll over, sitting up to lay in the crook of his arm. He sets the plate in your lap and picks up a chip, holding it to your lips. You sigh and take it in your mouth, chewing it with your eyes half closed.

“Sandwich, too,” he holds it up for you.

You open your mouth to take a small bite and he pulls it away, “No, you can open your mouth wider than that, we both know it.”

You gasp and swat his arm, making him throw his head back and cackle. And just as you go to take a Matthew-approved sized bite, there’s a tired cry from the baby monitor and you both pause. Go absolutely silent. Still. You don’t breathe. Not until Rhiannon rolls over in her crib, grabs her lovey and goes right back to sleep. Then, and only then, do the two of you relax again.

“Phew,” Matthew says. “Okay, sandwich now.”

You roll your eyes at him and finally, you take a bite.

You fall asleep on his chest, but you wake up alone. You roll over to check the time, finding empty beds on every monitor and you grumble to yourself.

Just outside the door, Matthew is walking down the hall with Rhiannon in his arms, Leo holding his hand and Amelia at his side. The plan was, as always, to get them downstairs for breakfast. The plan, as always, does not go the way it should.

“Daddy?” Leo calls. “Where’s mommy?”

“That’s your favorite question, isn’t it?” Matthew laughs.

“Is she at our house?”

“Yeah, she’s sleeping, buddy. She had a long day at work yesterday.”

“But I want mommy.” Leo whines.

“Well, we don’t wanna wake her up. We gotta let her rest.”

“What if we just go look at mommy but we don’t wake her up?” Always, always Amelia with the bright and clever ideas.

Matthew purses his lips as they approach your bedroom door, “You guys have to be quiet, okay? Promise?”

The two of them nod, and they’ve got those satisfied grins on their face only reserved for when they get their way. Matthew quietly opens the door and they find you laid out on your stomach, your head facing the other direction.

“Mommy’s sleeping?” Leo asks.

“Yeah, buddy, I told you. She’s tired, but she’ll be up soon.”

“But-but-but-but…” he stammers. “Can we just give her a kiss?”

This question is what wakes you.

Matthew sighs and glances at your still frame, back down to Leo, “You can give her a kiss, but be gentle.”

He helps the two of them onto the bed and you feel the weight of them landing on the mattress, crawling over to you. You’re trying your best not to laugh, but you cannot keep yourself from smiling. Leo kneels at your side and just as he promised, very carefully and quietly kisses the top of your head. You poke your bottom lip out, melting from the act of love. Amelia places a soft kiss on your shoulder and you just. Can’t even.

“Who’s that kissing me?” you speak suddenly, reaching around to grab Leo’s leg, which makes him scream in excitement. “Who is that? Who is this?” you grab onto Amelia and she squeals.

You flop over and they burst into laughter, Leo instantly falling onto your chest. It knocks the air out of you but in the very best way possible. Amelia piles on top of him and you free yourself just enough to reveal your face to Rhiannon who kicks her feet once the realization hits. Matthew sets her on the bed, grinning like a mad man at the sight of you all. Rhiannon finds herself in the middle of a tight, tight, tight hug.

You kiss their heads, “Oh, hi, my babies,” you laugh. “Hello, hello, hello.”

“Um, mommy?” Amelia calls.

“Yes, my love?”

“Did you have to stay at work when it was nighttime?”

“Yeah, baby, I did. I know it’s hard when mommy works for so long, but I’m back now and I’m just so excited to see you!” you squeal, “Mwah!” and place another kiss on her forehead.

“Hey, do you think you guys can go help daddy with breakfast while mommy gets dressed?”

They nod and you whisper, “Thank youuu,” embracing them one last time.

Matthew smiles at you as they leave the room, and with a good orgasm, a good meal and a good night’s rest in your system, you hop right out of bed. You brush your teeth, change your clothes, fix your hair, until you have the perfect I’m-not-leaving-this-house-today look.

You step out of the bathroom and gasp as you see Matthew rushing towards you. Before you can react, he’s backing you against the wall and putting his mouth on yours, wide open, starving, with his hands gripping at your waist.

“Mm…” you hum when he suddenly pulls away. You giggle, shoving his chest, “Freak.”

He cackles and kisses you again. Again. Once more. Last one. He picks up your hand, places one single kiss on your knuckles, “C’mon, sexy lady, let’s go have some breakfast.”

[transmascissues]

it's silly but the biggest reason why im not into t yet is bc im so afraid of losing my hair. do you have any solutions/tips for it?

first of all, i don’t think it’s silly — it’s natural to be worried when hair loss is talked about by so many people as like…one of the worst results of aging for men. listening to my dad talk about how much he hates balding definitely did not make me feel particularly good about the knowledge that i may very well be joining him someday. i’m not saying the fear is right, because i don’t think hair loss is something awful that we should avoid at all costs, but it’s an understandable fear given the beauty standards we’re working with, and it’s one that a lot of us (myself included) feel.

one thing that’s helped me is just…paying more attention to the guys that i interact with on a daily basis. i’ve learned two things from it: 1) hair loss is super fucking common. i’d say it’s much harder to find an adult man who isn’t balding at all than it is to find one who’s completely bald. and 2) if you forget everything you’ve been told about how bad hair loss is, you’ll realize that quite frankly, every single one of those guys looks totally fucking fine. it doesn’t ruin their appearance and make them ugly, it looks totally natural and isn’t really even something you’d notice if you weren’t looking for it. we put so much weight on it but it’s really just not that big of a deal. i’ll hear my parents talk shit about men in my family who are losing their hair when i didn’t even notice a difference last time i saw them. it’s one of those things (like so many other appearance-related things) that you really only notice at all because you’ve been taught that you’re supposed to care about it.

this isn’t something i’ve done personally, but if you really want to desensitize yourself to the idea of it, embrace the time-honored queer tradition of just shaving your whole damn head! find out what you’d look like without hair, find out how you feel about it and what you can do that makes you feel good about your appearance without hair, test the waters while it’s still a temporary change and not something permanent. that way, it won’t feel like this big scary unknown, and you’ll actually have a frame of reference for your feelings about how you look without hair rather than accepting the societal assumption that you’ll inevitably hate it. if you don’t want to actually shave your head, you could also just fuck around with bald filters or photoshop and see what happens.

oh, and if you’re attracted to men, keep an eye out for guys who are bald or balding and also hot as fuck. in my experience, there’s no insecurity or potential future insecurity that being gay for other men hasn’t helped me with. just off the top of my head, i can think of a couple actors who i think are absolutely fucking gorgeous who have helped me get over my fears about losing my hair. despite what our anti-aging-obsessed world might want you to think, there is no such thing as a physical feature that automatically makes someone less attractive, and while making attractiveness less of a priority in your life is good, it can’t hurt to also give yourself some proof that actually, you might lose your hair and look hot as hell doing it.

basically, entertain the possibility that it won’t be a bad thing at all! whether that’s just because it turns out to be a neutral thing for you or because you end up actually liking it, it’s not an inherently bad thing. i’ve ended up liking a lot of things that were “supposed to” be bad effects of t — i love the weight i’ve gained and the new shape it gives my body, i get a lot of gender euphoria from the fact that my acne is now on parts of my face that i saw a lot of guys in high school get it and i’m not complaining about the scars i get from it either because i’ve always liked the added texture that acne scars give my skin, and so on. i think there’s a lot of joy to be had in the changes we’re taught to fear, once we look past that conditioning and actually explore how we feel about it.

but if it’s something you really don’t want and you just want to improve your chances of not having to deal with it, it’s not like there’s nothing you can do! products like finasteride (oral) and minoxidil (usually topical but i think there might also be oral versions) are pretty commonly used among trans guys, for the purpose of avoiding hair loss and for other reasons, and there are plenty of other anti-hair loss products out there (though i don’t know how effective any one of them might be). if it’s a big enough deal for you, you can just decide that you’ll go off of t if/when you start noticing signs of it, since no longer having higher t levels would stop the process in its tracks. and if you don’t find prevention options that work for you so it ends up happening, you can always explore different hair styles (judging by the pattern of hair loss i see in my family, i suspect that keeping my hair long would make it less obvious if i started losing mine), find your preferred method of covering it when you don’t feel good about it (personally i love a good beanie generally and would probably wear them a lot more if i didn’t have hair to worry about because my main complaint is the way they press my hair onto my neck), or just shave it all off if you don’t like the look of the partial balding but don’t mind a shaved head. the point being — you have options!

at the end of the day, whether you go on t or not, you’re going to see your body change as you age in ways that aren’t always going to be attractive to others or aesthetically pleasing to you. that’s just the reality of having a body. even if you never went on t, you’d get older and you might see your hair thin out even if you don’t bald, you’ll see your skin start to wrinkle and sag in places that used to be smooth, your metabolism might slow or your body fat might start to gather in new places; hell, you might lose your hair for a totally different reason and end up in the same place but without the benefits of having been on t that whole time. life is full of bodily changes like that. transphobes will fearmonger about the permanent changes of testosterone all day long but the truth is, there is no escaping permanent bodily changes. whether or not you go on t, your body now isn’t the same as it will be in 1 or 5 or 10 or 20 or 50 years, just like it isn’t the same as it was at any point in your life before now. our bodies are never supposed to stop growing and aging and changing throughout our lives. there’s no guaranteeing that we’ll love every single change our bodies go through, but that’s okay! there are so many things in life that are more important than the way our bodies look. even if you go on t and lose your hair and don’t like how it looks, your life won’t be ruined; plenty of other things will bring you joy and more than make up for the insecurities.

just think about the gender euphoria and relief from dysphoria that t could give you. would losing your hair be bad enough to outweigh all of that? or is it just the pressure of a society that decided balding is bad that’s making you fear one single change despite how much joy you could have if you let that fear go? only you can decide if going on t is worth the potential downsides for you, but i suspect that for most of us, the benefits of going on t far outweigh the possibility of side effects like hair loss happening down the line.