#you should be learning about pop music from Africa in your pop music classes and folk music from India in your folk music classes

[cruelsister-moved2]

ideologically opposed to like "world music" as a category and the idea you could be taught anything meaningful about The Music of The World in a semester is laughable.. HOWEVER I will always take those modules bc where else am i going to get my bops from sorry the textbooks are always exclusively fire

[lutes-of-the-world]

Hey, just saw your post about Egal the Bard or whatever his name is having inaccurate instruments and making inaccurate music. Your info was very helpful about the instruments, but could you please speak more to why it's musically inaccurate? Or maybe, do you have video examples of what traditional medieval ensemble music sounds like?

Thank you for asking! I run this blog to share things with the intellectually curious.

The misrepresentation of historical music is my pet peeve. I was not kind to this burnout bard, this short-shift schop, this miniature Minnesinger, because he is making the work of medievalists harder. I don't care if someone wants to play bard, but they shouldn't advertise their modern pop stylings as having been informed by the sonic architecture of the middle ages.

Here's the lowdown on medieval European instrumental music:

A lot of it came from North Africa and the Middle East. The Maghrebi Arab-Berbers, whom the Europeans called the Moors, conquered Andalusia and added it to the Umayyad Empire, which was huge and was comprised of Arabs, Persians, Turks, formerly-Byzantine Christians, and Jews. They brought instruments like the lute and shawm with them, and these instruments subsequently spread across Europe. The Moors brought a lot of culture to Europe in general: Córdoba became the European center of learning, especially in math, astronomy, medicine, and philosophy. The three Abrahamic faiths coexisted peacefully (well, after the invasion, and until the Christian Reconquista and subsequent expulsion of the Jews). Arabic, Persian, and Syriac cultures had also preserved classical Greek writings, and as Europeans returned from their various Crusades, they brought this knowledge with them. Aristotle inspired the monastic, literate intellectual life of medieval Europe, and Plato, via Arabic transmission, later inspired the Italian Renaissance.

We don't know how medieval instrumental music sounded, as we have no recordings and very few surviving instruments, and because most of the music and music theory that was written down was sacred a capella music recorded by literate monks and nuns. Secular instrumental music was seen as a baser art, although that was the opinion of the monastic intellectuals, whose perspective is the only one that survives in writ. History is written by the ruling classes.

We can gather clues by looking at medieval depictions of instrumentalists. Illustrations are often simple and stylized, and historicist luthiers' recreations based solely on iconography tend to be cartoony and rough (like anime cosplay!). They should be relegated to theatre props. However, iconographic evidence may be augmented with the study of surviving "folk" music traditions (pardon the classist label. All music is folk music because all music is made by folks!). Some European folk instruments are very old and have evidently changed very little over the centuries, and many of their Middle Eastern and North African progenitors are still played, and the artistry of the great instruments like the oud (lute) and qanoun (psaltery) has been cultivated to greater depths than were ever reached in Europe, because their roots are so much older. The European genius is just as brilliant, but fickle: it often discards its old tools for new ones. For instance, the barbat, the Central Asian/Greater Iranian lute, has been played since ancient Mesopotamian times, and its descendents are more popular today than ever before.

Unfortunately, the Anglophone medieval European academic scene is still overcoming its inherited Eurocentrism, and Arabic scholarship is largely inaccessible to us due to language barriers. I'm sure everything is thoroughly documented and annotated in Arabic scholarship...

If we want to imagine what medieval Al'Andalus sounded like, our best bet is to listen to traditional Andalusian ensembles. The Arab-Andalusian Orchestra of Fez is over a century old - the oldest Andalusian ensemble that is still active - and its repertoire goes back to the middle ages:

Note the melodic intervals sound European, not Arabic. The ensemble prides itself on this. European tuning theory has changed subtly over the centuries, but from its earliest Greek roots it is still recognizable to the modern western ear. Traditional Andalusi music is similarly familiar, though Arabic, Persian, and Turkish music sound microtonally exotic to unaccustomed ears.

We have a treasure, a 13th century Galician illuminated songbook from the court of Alfonso X, el Sabio, of Castile. It's called the Cantigas de Santa Maria and it is full of sacred and pseudo-sacred Marian poems with notated melodies and illustrations of musicians.

Here are scenes from the musical life of Alfonso's court:

Here is a leading European early music ensemble's imagining of how it MAY HAVE sounded:

Here is another glimpse of the past, the painted ceiling of the Capella Palatina of Palermo, Sicily, Fatimid in style, from the 12th century. There are a lot of images of musicians on the six pages of this website.

In short, one mustn't take recordings of recreations of medieval music as gospel. Musicologists, music historians, and historical performers like myself do as best to be as authentic as we can, but the further we look back in history, the more we must engage in creative guesswork. It can be seen as artistic collaboration across time.

"The past is a foreign country."

- L.P. Hartley

[lonelyasawhisper]

Queen: The Very Fabulous Freddie Was Born To Rule

David Hancock, Record Mirror, 1 February 1975

THE QUICK SILVER Girl has style, but it's not just cultivated, it stems back to those balmy days in East Africa.

"My uncle had a villa in Dar-Es-Salaam, only yards from the sea, and in the morning I'd be woken by the servant and clutching an orange juice I'd literally step out on to the beach.

"In a way I've been very fortunate, even in the early days. I love being pampered, it's just something that's grown with me."

In an era of working class pop heroes, Freddie Mercury stands out as someone distinctive enough to be different. The wealth and glittering success he has achieved with Queen would turn anyone's head. Not so, our Mr Mercury.

Relaxing between management meetings this week, he confessed that he liked the flamboyance of life and any style he had was certainly not cultivated. Quite simply, he's always been used to living a pop star's life.

"I'm very well looked after, but I need it because we've got so many pressures. I mean I can't make myself a cup of tea, I'm useless at it, so I have someone to make it for me. That's the kind of environment I live in," he said.

Legs crossed and wearing his favourite red velvet doublet he admitted that his upbringing had been "sort of middle class".

In fact his father was in government service and Freddie lived a long time in the tropics — with servants, of course. He went to boarding school — in India, where else? At the moment he's living in a Kensington flat, but after Queen's 60-day tour of the States, he says he's hoping to get a detached place in London's fashionably chic area, Barnes.

He is a true professional and remarkably confident of his success. Fame rests easily on his shoulders, and he gives the impression, rather like royalty, of someone being groomed from birth for his role in life. Queen is an apt name for the band.

"Sometimes I think, 'Oh my God, they must think I'm working so hard to cultivate all this', but I'm not," he added. "I'd hate to live under false pretences. Queen are not frauds.

"We presented a kind of an image. We weren't putting any labels on it. We said this is Queen, this is our music and this is how we present ourselves.

"The funny thing about Queen is that no one can put their finger on it and we don't want to give it to them. We say, 'this is us and it is up to you to interpret it.'

"The campness and the flamboyance comes into it. We like to dress up," he confessed.

"If you cultivate something it is only for the short term and we are in it for the long lasting thing. We are one of the bands who are going to take a piece of the action. We're going to do it. We know we can do it.

"I think versatility is one of our assets. 'Killer Queen' was a massive hit and the ideal is to come up with an equally classy single."

Class is what Freddie and Queen are all about as they currently hurtle up the charts with 'Now I'm Here', another cut from their highly-praised Sheer Heart Attack album.

He writes and sings of champagne and laser beams and when he's relaxing likes to listen to Liza Minelli, Sparks or Jimi Hendrix.

Freddie has been with Queen for four years and he reckons the band's university education has helped give them a broader outlook, though he admits that in the early days they were manipulated like so many of today's young bands.

"You all go through that, but you learn by your mistakes," he said. "Now we don't just go into the studio and make records, but follow everything else through and make sure it's being done the way we want it.

"That goes from the art work on the album sleeves to the inner bags and dealing with record companies and management. It's like undertaking a huge project."

Given the time and opportunity he rather fancies the idea of writing a musical show, though he confessed it takes him a long time to write song lyrics.

"What comes easiest to me are melodies and song structures rather than lyrics," he said.

He should have added that he also had a penchant for style and breeding. You see, for all the campness Freddie Mercury is every inch a gentleman.

Retrieved from rocksbackpages.com

[swanlake1998]

Article: Gabe Stone Shayer Is Creating an African Narrative Ballet in a Locale That’s Not Only Dreamy, but Informing the Work Itself

Date: April 23, 2021

By: Lydia Murray

American Ballet Theatre soloist Gabe Stone Shayer's latest project will inspire some serious travel envy. From March to April of this year, Shayer has been an artist in residence at Palm Heights Grand Cayman—a resort in the Cayman Islands—where he is choreographing an African-themed narrative ballet, performing solos that will become part of the upcoming piece, collaborating with Caymanian artists and teaching dance classes to guests.

The hotel's residency program is designed to cultivate artists, athletes and writers with ties to or interests in the Caribbean, aligning with Shayer's goals to honor his African heritage and increase the visibility of Black stories in ballet. Due to the islands' strict COVID-19 safety protocols and low number of cases, he's been able to safely create in an environment reminiscent of the pre-pandemic era.

As only the second ballet dancer to participate in the program—the first being San Francisco Ballet corps member Kimberly Marie Olivier, who had told Shayer about the opportunity—his feedback will help develop the residency for future dance artists. During his mandatory 15-day quarantine upon arrival, Palm Heights built a studio for him and future dance residents.

Dance Magazine spoke with Shayer about his new work and what it's been like to live and create in the Cayman Islands.

Lydia Murray: How did you decide to pursue this residency?

Gabe Stone Shayer: I saw an opportunity to create a space for performing artists to have a concentrated residency experience. Besides helping develop it, it was a perfect opportunity to start workshopping a bunch of choreography and a bunch of ideas that otherwise, especially during COVID, would be very difficult to find the studio space, the time, the works to really curate what I was trying to make happen.

Lydia Murray: What impact has living and working in that environment had on your creative process?

Gabe Stone Shayer: What's vastly different is I'm on a very small island that has very good control over their COVID protocol, so it's practically COVID-free. You get tested before you get on the plane, you have to get tested off the plane, and you have to get tested right after your quarantine ends before you can leave your room. The protocol is extreme, but it makes for a very free environment. We're as close to normalcy as you can get. I have the freedom to not think about this extra hurdle of not being able to get close to someone, or not being able to use a studio without this, that and the other thing. It gives me the expansive feeling of being able to reach anything that I'm putting myself out there for.

Lydia Murray: Can you give an overview of what you're working on?

Gabe Stone Shayer: For a while, I've been thinking about the idea of this project to honor African and Black narratives through classical ballet. I feel like ballet needs to do a million different things. One, of course, is to update things. Be socially conscious, and hopefully be sustainable one day in terms of costuming. But a big thing is championing Black and brown cultures and narratives through stories that people haven't seen before on a ballet stage, or in the proscenium of a theater like the Metropolitan Opera House.

I had the idea to either shape an African narrative, or make up an African narrative, or take a piece of folklore and turn it into some sort of fairy-tale piece that shows the beauty, the strength, the elegance of African cultures—specifically Ghanaian culture, because that's what I'm closest to. I'm part Ghanaian, and it's what I know. But hopefully in the future, expanding that into other cultures, as well.

Lydia Murray: What has it been like to be a Black American artist of Ghanaian heritage, creating an African narrative ballet in a location with such a large Black population? Does that have any impact on your mindset or anything else about creating this work?

Gabe Stone Shayer: I think it does. I'm really excited about it because, for me, it feels like the first time I'm going to be doing something that is in the vocabulary of ballet, that is a story about my ancestry or connected to my ancestry, and really shows more colors to ballet than just the German, the French, the Italian stories. It gives way to other narratives that will hopefully involve and make a new community interested in watching ballet and seeing themselves more so than just by face, but by story and by content, as well.

It's great to see what inspires the people who are here, and what the culture derives from. It's a very, very, very mixed island in terms of culture. It's very international. But a lot of the people here have some lineage from West Africa, which is serendipitous, because a lot of these African stores or places where textiles are made lean towards West African and Ghanaian.

I've been essentially curating my costume with a woman who makes adinkra symbols. It's a Ghanaian symbol that represents different strengths within people. One symbol may represent being cunning, or power, or strength, or love. These symbols are, a lot of times, printed on cloth or clothing to signify what you identify with. I found two textiles that this woman made with a power symbol on them, and made them into my costume.

Lydia Murray: You've mentioned wanting to fuse ballet with fashion and pop culture, which you've already done with creators like Alicia Keys and Dapper Dan. In addition to working with the textile designer, are there any interdisciplinary collaborations we should expect to see here in music, costuming or otherwise?

Gabe Stone Shayer: I'm working with a few designers who are under the umbrella of Vogue Talents. It's a program for up-and-coming designers and artists and collaborators to get together. I met them through a mutual contact at Vogue Italia, and they sent me down here with their clothing. The brand is called Corban Harper.

I consider cuisine an art form, and displaying this West African work is also a part of a larger evening. I talked with the executive chef here, Jake Tyler Brodsky. He's done a lot of research into what West African food is and how to shape it for his menu, and, in turn, we created a collaborative evening where people were able to learn about West African culture through all of their senses by tasting new foods and watching me dance.

Lydia Murray: On The Dance Edit Podcast, you mentioned wanting to make a ballet about Mansa Musa [a 14th-century king of Mali] or the orishas [Yoruba deities]. Will we see any of those themes in this piece?

Gabe Stone Shayer: For this work, I thought that I would want to do a bit more in-depth research before putting a real name and face to what I'm doing. So I've just made it about an African king/chief. It's more vague; I could play with it a bit more. The narrative of the solo is of a young king coming to power and having to take control of his kingdom, but with the humility that he has, it's daunting to take the reins. But he fully leans into it.

Lydia Murray: What are your plans to present this work in the future?

I'm planning to workshop more of this piece through the coming year. I am probably using my nonprofit company, Creative Genesis, to film dances on location again when I'm back in America, and to workshop more of the ballet and flesh out the storylines for the rest of the characters. I'll hopefully work with The Guggenheim at some point to do Works & Process. And hit all of those points in New York to present the work and find people who want to see it come to fruition.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #397

“you’re my religion, you’re my reason to live  /  you are the heaven in my hell”

Do you think that you’ll always love who you love now? Even if we're never together again romantically, I will ALWAYS love her at least as a best friend. Have you ever made out with a random person? Yeah, no. If you could do your first kiss over, would you? No. I'm lucky that my first kiss was honestly cute as hell. Do you like your country’s president or prime minister? Well I voted for him, so I obviously can't hate him. He seems to be doing fine so far, though take that with a grain of salt seeing as I don't keep up with politics. Even before voting for him, I just did a small bit of researching on his values. What color is your house? Yellow with white accents. Do you listen to Christmas music during the holiday season? No, I don't enjoy it. Man, Jason's mom sure did, though... I loved how in the spirit she'd get and always played Christmas music in the car during that time of year. I miss that woman and I sure as hell hope she rests easy now. Do you like ginger ale? Solely if I have a stomach bug, and I can only ever sip it. What are you listening to? "Electric Sugar Pop" by Jeffree Star. What’s the last thing you watched on TV? The TMS office has the TV on, and the woman who overlooks it (I have zero idea what her position is called) tends to have it either on a cooking channel or a home improvement one. Today was a cooking one. Is your favorite author the author of your favorite book? I don't have a favorite author. Describe someone you find really attractive: M-Mark Fischbach. *___* If you HAD to look like someone else, but could choose who, who would you choose? Hm... maybe my friend Alon. I've mentioned I feel like a million times that she is like, ethereal with how gorgeous she is. Have you ever seen someone get a tattoo done? If so, what was it? Did they cry or were they in a lot of pain? Yeah; it was a watercolor feather with "ohana" written below it. She didn't cry at all, but she grit her teeth a few times. Do you have anything you couldn’t go a day without? Some form of technology. Have you ever gotten caught doing something illegal? No. What’s your favorite flavor of Vitamin Water? I don't even think I've ever tried it. Is there someone you wanna date right now? Yeah. What first attracted you to the last person you kissed? If we're talking the very first, our vast similar interests. How many brothers does your father have? None. Does your best friend have any tattoos? No. Do you like Ben + Jerry’s? Yep. Man, I want their Phish Food ice cream now. Would you ever wish to be the opposite sex? Nah. Do you think you’re attractive? Nope. What is your favorite card game to play? Magic: The Gathering. I really miss my PS3 where I had Duel of the Planeswalkers installed on it, it was really fun. Do you own a globe? I don't think we still do. What is your favorite wild cat? Perhaps clouded leopards. If your bedroom had three portals to anywhere, where would they lead? South Africa, Sara's place, and maybe a nice little cabin in the mountains for when I'm feeling a peaceful getaway. You can ask any author one question about their story. What do you ask? I have zero idea. What’s a place you have a strong emotional connection to? The pond behind the local community college. Jason and I took our first prom pictures there. Do you take yoga classes? No, but I'm actually considering it since they offer those at the YMCA Mom and I now go to. What is a decision you’ve made that changed your entire life? To let Jason go. It's pretty great, my PTSD has been less of a bother lately! Have you ever made any money from a side-hustle? Could you consider being paid to take pictures once in a blue moon a "side hustle" when I don't even have a main job? Do you ever wonder what kind of person you’d have turned out to be if a certain event never happened to you? Ugh... it's incredibly painful to wonder how life would be if Jason never left. If you could have anyone’s singing voice, whose would you choose? Adele's or Amy Lee's, probs. What are your top 3 favorite genres of music? Metal, hard rock, alternative. Do you think Mars will be colonized in your lifetime? No. Have you ever been homeless? If so, what led to your homelessness? Technically, yes, because Mom couldn't afford the rent. She, my little sister (who still lived with us at the time), and I each were accepted into the homes of willing, kind people, though. Have you ever been on a ship? No. Who was Van Halen’s better singer - David Lee Roth, or Sammy Hagar? David. Which fictional character has the most memorable quotes? Heath Ledger's Joker is quoted all the time, so probably him. What do you think of the "Healthy At Every Size" movement/philosophy? Before I answer this, I want you to keep in mind that this is coming from someone who is obese, so I would positively love to agree with that for my own self-confidence, but I don't. I believe it's a very dangerous mentality. I think you should cherish your body unconditionally, like it's an amazing machine, but I firmly believe you should have an active interest in becoming what is physically healthy. You couldn't pay me millions to convince me that, say, a 300 lb. person is healthy. What was the name of the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them? I think my first *real* crush was this guy Sebastian my freshman year of high school. I thought he was very sweet, funny, caring, and attractiveness was a bonus. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat? Sashimi, caviar, raw eggs... Which famous person would you like to be BFFs with? Bindi Irwin, for one. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. Have you ever been bitten so hard that there teeth marks were there after? I mean I've had hickeys before if that's what you're asking. Ever gave one? Oh, I guess you were. Yeah. Do you think its weird if guys wear make-up like eyeliner? Not at all. Would you ever date a disabled person? (Be honest) Yes. Would you rather adopt or have your own child? IF I wanted kids, I'd rather have one myself because I'm well aware I personally need that special connection. Stepkids count, too, because they'd be my partner's and therefore very important for me too. What is the most personal question you have ever been asked? Probably TMI, so here's your fair warning, but I've been asked before if I "touch" myself and I was absolutely repulsed that someone would ask me that. Were you abused by your parents? No. If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? Sara. Were you one of the smartest in your class? Up to finishing high school, modestly, I was. Where did you meet your first crush? Art class my freshman year of high school. Do you ever go places with wet hair? Yeah, idc. Who is your favorite little girl? My niece Aubree. She's such a wonderful girl. Does your best friend have kids? No. If you were pregnant, would you want a boy or a girl? Hypothetically, a girl. What place outside of your own home do you spend the most time at? Um, maybe my older sister's house? Have you ever participated in a medical study? No. Do you have any family members who are cancer survivors? Yes, including my mother. Twice. Are you allergic to any medications? None that I've tried. Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license? I don't even have that. If you’re atheist, would you raise you kids believing in God or not? No; I wouldn't intervene with their own spiritual (or lack thereof) journey. They'd learn what they'd learn and decide themselves what they believe. Do you like reading self-help books? No, I just can't get invested in those. What is your opinion on sex change? If you're unhappy with your body, you're more than free to surgically change that with no judgment from me. Do you have any goals for this summer? If so, what are they? Yes, to lose weight. Can you get a strike at bowling? I have before. There was one occasion where my first go was a strike RIGHT after saying I sucked at bowling, hahaha. Do you ever take pictures of negative moments? Well, I photograph roadkill, and that's one hell of a sad moment. I actually wouldn't mind broadening my horizons of photographing negative moments (with permission of course), because I actually find these very impactful and even builds empathy. I will never, ever forget this one picture I saw sometime of an emaciated boy huddled in the dirt with a vulture close by watching him... like fuck, it made me want to sob. No one should ever have to live like that, especially a child. Would you ever post a picture of yourself crying on social media? No. I know that sounds contradictory to what I just said, I just wouldn't be able to do it myself. Have you ever held a newborn baby? Once, when my last niece was born. I'm terrified of holding them because they're just so fragile. Do you know anyone who has twins? My friend just had triplets. What is your favorite country in Europe? Germany. Are you thriving in your life right now? BOY HOWDY- Do you remember to water plants? I don't keep plants. Name three YouTubers you aspire to be like. 1.) Markiplier in a vast plethora of ways; 2.) Jeffree Star for his incredible work ethic; and 3.) Shane Dawson for his incredible compassion. Yes. I know the controversy, but regardless, he cares a lot about people. Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? I wouldn't know, given I haven't read the books or seen the movies. Do you watch PewDiePie? Not anymore; his content doesn't interest me anymore. I watched him religiously back in the day when he was a serious let's player, though. Do you have a Steam account? Yes. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? No, not personally. I like watching LPs of it and I find the story fascinating, but it's not the kind of game I'd enjoy playing. Have you ever tried Akinator? Yes. I don't think I ever beat it, except maybe once. Are you wearing socks right now? No; unless I'm wearing closed-toe shoes like sneakers, I never do. I hate the feeling of them. Can you twerk? Haven't tried, don't wanna. Do you like dabbing? No, it looks stupid. Do you like fishing? I honestly do think it's fun with all the anticipation and thrill of seeing how big the fish is, however I don't support it anymore unless, like hunting, you genuinely need it for food. The only case where I'd go again was if my dad asked me, because that's always been our bonding experience. Do you have a Spotify account? Yes. Have you heard of Blizzard Entertainment? Well, they're the company behind World of Warcraft, so obviously. Do you like bananas? Yes, but only for a VERY short window of time. I am beyond picky with the ripeness of bananas. Are you addicted to anything? Caffeine and technology. Do you know your phone number? I actually don't. Do you swear in front of children? No.

[secretradiobrooklyn]

Get In Moses Edition | 2.13.21

Secret Radio | 2.13.21 | Hear it here.

art by Paige, liner notes mostly by Evan, *means Paige

1. Chantal Goya - “Tu m’as trop menti”

From the movie “Masculin feminin,” a DVD we borrowed from Tim. This is the film where Godard was whispering the lines into a headset of the actor, so they were learning their lines literally as they were saying them. This is the opening song. Not particularly Valentine’s Day, in that it’s about lying too much… but still there’s a dissatisfaction that is undeniably a part of French romance.

2. Human League - “(Keep Feeling) Fascination”

Such a square song! But the keys hook is so immortally beautiful, with its crucial warble. The rest of the song is sweetly and innocently ‘80s. It reminds me of being in art class in high school, fully participating in the aesthetic crimes of the era. 

3. Marijata - “Break Through” - “Afro-Beat Airways”

Analog Africa is just now releasing a repress of this long sold-out collection. I’d listened to it before, but I guess that was before I knew about Marijata (thanks again, Jeffrey!) because it was a shock to discover a track by one of our very favorite Ghanaian discoveries. So far as I knew, Marijata only released one album of four songs — which is fantastic — and then eventually started backing a guy named Pat Thomas. Those records, unfortunately, are nowhere near as vital and fascinating as their own record. So finding this song was a welcome revelation! I should also say that, no surprise, the whole collection is a banger from front to back, and will definitely show up again on the show.

4. Philippe Katerine (avec Gérard Depardieu) - “Blond”

This strange guy is a kind of joker songwriter in French pop, as far as I can tell. This song is all about what one can get away with if one is blond. He’s a really fascinating character, a tiny bit like Beck maybe, in the sense that he seems to have made a successful career of taking unexpected directions. He’s also an actor, working with Claire Denis (!), Jonathan Demme and Gille Lellouche among many others. He was also in “Gainsbourg - A Heroic Life,” which is an excellent movie that we highly recommend. (We had no idea who he was when we saw it at the St. Louis Film Festival.) Also, he appears to be married to Gérard Depardieu’s daughter, which would seem to explain this particular guest star.

- The Texas Room - “Cielito Lindo” 

Several years ago, a producer in St. Louis put together the amazing album known as “The Texas Room,” which brought together immigrants from all over the world who currently lived in St. Louis. That meant Bosnians, Cameroonians, Mexicans, and native-born Americans… including Andy Garces, a fellow Paige went to high school with — His mom was Paige’s voice teacher as a matter of fact — who recorded this strange and excellent version of “Cielito Lindo.” The release party for the album was one of the greatest nights we spent in that or any city, dancing our faces off to all kinds of music. At one point the Bosnians got so excited they took over the room, shouting along and hoisting up their guy in the air. Basil Kincaid did the art for the album, and I think that’s the night we finally met. We have one of his collages on our studio wall right now — right over there!

5. The Modern Lovers - “I’m Straight” *

When we got the current SK van (circa 2015) we were super excited because we could finally bring out other musicians on the road and we could also have folks from other bands that we were out with jump in the van with us for a stretch. That February we were on tour with Jamaican Queens, and our friend Andy Kahn came out with us to play guitar. Not only is Andy a rad musician and great guy to be around, but he was an excellent road DJ. Somehow I made it to 30 without getting into The Modern Lovers (I know, crazy!) Andy has great taste and had a well appointed iPod so he was the official van DJ pretty much right away. He put on this record one day and I just lost it. The thing is, after that I was like “Play ‘Roadrunner’ again!” all the time. When I hear this record I still think of that tour. Andy in the back seat DJing, Ben and Erik jumping in the van to come with to Baltimore, graduating to “truck” in the Holland Tunnel queue, so much snow, host Bentley, “Go cats?”, Aaaaaahhhhh!

6. Frances Carroll & the Coquettes - “Coquette / When I Swing My Stick / Jitterbug Stomp”

I think we learned about this band last year, when Coquettes drummer Viola Smith died at 107 years old (in Costa Mesa, not Silverlake, Paige would like you to know — her bad). The video link below is highly recommended — the whole band swings hard, and the interaction between them and Frances Carroll is well worth the watch. They were considered a curiosity at the time, being an all-female band, and man they could play. Viola Smith in particular had an insanely long career, playing from the 1920s straight through into 2019! She played with Ella Fitzgerald and Chick Webb, and in the original Broadway production of “Cabaret.” Her particular innovation was having two toms at shoulder height, on either side of her head, which she would roll and ricochet shots off. Very cool style, never copied.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFDD_NxtKZ4

7. Pierre Sandwidi - “Boy Cuisinier”

Born Bad Records is one of the world’s coolest record labels, with a huge array of vintage discoveries as well as African albums as well as contemporary pop and noise bands. “Boy Cuisinier” is off Pierre Sandwidi’s album with them. It bears some definite relation to Francis Bebey but takes its own turns just as often. Sandwidi hails from Burkina Faso, known as the Upper Volta when he was growing up. We’re just now learning about him and his scene — I confess I didn’t even know Upper Volta was African; I thought it was Slavic — so I wouldn’t be surprised if some more Voltaic music shows up here soon.

8. Evan Sult avec Tracy Brubeck  - “The Cats Won’t Stay In”

Paige’s mom Tracy called while we were in the middle of the show, and they paused to have a conversation about, you know, whatever — the snowstorms, the neighbors, the news. She was on speakerphone so that we could all talk, and eventually I just started taking notes as fast as I could. This is the result. I find it fascinating. That’s Paige singing lead on the Marty Robbins tune.

9.  Kil Monnower Alimunna, Grup Hindustanbul - “Tadap Tadap” 

Years ago I saw the movie “Monsoon Wedding” by the director Mira Nair. It really stuck with me, particularly the gorgeous opening credits in maroon and orange and sky blue. I was trying to tell Paige about that sequence, so just in case we could catch a glimpse of those colors, we watched the trailer. This song is the soundtrack to the trailer. It’s really an amazing track — so Indian, of course, but with definite Western points of contact, like when it goes to the major chords unexpectedly in the post-chorus, which sounds practically American. And the final outro minute or so is full of delayed, reverbed vocals in a psychedelic style, til it reaches the strange and intoxicating sound that he makes with his voice as the song fades into the distance.

- Martial Solal “New York Herald Tribune” - “A bout de souffle” soundtrack 

10. Gillian Hills - “Tut Tut Tut Tut” 

Gillian Hills, probably more famous for “Zou Bisou Bisou.” This track is great, listen for those syrupy slides and harmonies. I just learned that she is English, and the music video for this song is definitely shot in Angleterre. Full of famous red phone booths (now famous little free libraries.) When we were doing this week’s show I asked Evan “Is this song too obvious?” He said no, it wasn’t too obvious. If you know why I’m asking, then you know. So is it? 

11. Jacques Dutronc “La Compapade”

We’ve been into Jacques Dutronc for many years now, because he’s a brilliant French songwriter and composer. But this one track has been a baffler for many years now. It shows up out of nowhere and sounds like… what? What the hell IS that? Is it African? It sounds African, but — is it? Is it just some strange lark on his part? Paige was apprehensive about playing it on the show, even though we both really enjoy it, because we couldn’t tell if it was somehow demeaning to someone. But eventually I argued that we don’t know what the hell most of the singers are saying in the songs we play, or which cultural taboos they’re transgressing, and the same is true in this case. If it is somehow offensive to anyone, I hope it’s clear that wasn’t our intention. But… I don’t know. I don’t think it is. I think it just comes from a cultural heritage and context that is French in a way Americans cannot understand or appreciate. In any case, it’s an amazing performance and recording!

12. K. Frimpong & His Cubanos Fiestas - Me Da A Ɔnnda”

Research into African rock and styles eventually brought us to K. Frimpong and His Cubanos Fiestas, which has turned out to be a satisfying step into the Ghanaian highlife/Cuban scene. I love the keyboard hooks in this one and the way the patterns just roll on and on with each other like a river, in no hurry but pulled forward by their own currents. He was also a visual artist — his art appeared on the cover of last episode’s Nyame Bekyere album. This was also the first time I’ve encountered the character “Ɔ” in the wild. I have zero idea how it is pronounced.

13. They Might Be Giants - “Birdhouse In Your Soul” 

“Not to put too fine a point on it / Say I’m the only bee on your bonnet / Make a little birdhouse in your soul.” I remember when I first realized that was a feeling I was feeling — hoping to build a birdhouse in the soul of another, to be inside one another in a little protected place. The rest of the song is a nerd-rock dream palace I love as much as any other nerd, but the chorus is where I discovered an emotion I hadn’t suspected was there when I first heard and fell for this song and this band in high school (thanks, Jeremy Peterson!). 

Paige adds: This song is blowing my mind. I don’t like writing lyrics, my ratio of melodies and harmonies to lyrics way out of whack. Evan brought this song back into our lives this week when Sleepy Kitty was asked what our favorite love songs are on a real radio show. We’ve been listening to it a bunch since Thursday and damn, these lyrics are good. It’s really reminding me that you can write about ANY.THING. Blue Canary in the freakin’ outlet by the light switch. Looking at the lighthouse picture. It’s a clinic. I learned something, and I can go home. 

On the original topic, I love thinking of this as a love song. If you hear a love song, it’s a love song. It’s a love song.

14. Sleepy Kitty - “Tu veux ou tu veux pas” *

I took two years of French in high school and missed out junior and senior year because of a scheduling lulu that made 3rd and 4th year French conflict with advanced painting which was the primary reason I was taking French in the first place. I’m still not over it. Years later, I’m at Electropolis (in my memory) and I hear this Brigitte Bardot song on Tim’s excellent sound system and I can understand…most?…some…of it! I fell in love with this song and with French again and started stumbling, scrabbling at it again. We started working up this cover. Thank you Suzie Gilb for helping with the pronunciation. We did a 7” of this song and it’s a rare SK track with me playing trombone on it. 

15. The Velvet Underground - “I Love You” *

I don’t really have much to say about this track except that it reminds me of flying to Germany because I got the 5 Disc set with all the extras on it a few days before leaving for a high school foreign exchange program. I was so happy to have those discs to absorb on the long flight, and come to think of it, it really inflected the whole trip.

16. Secret Song - “African Scream Contest”

The genesis of our love for African rock/funk/whatever (if for a moment we don’t count the profoundly influential “Graceland”) is the immortal collection “Legends of Benin,” put out by Analog Africa. As soon as we dug further for our favorites from that collection, we found “African Scream Contest” vols 1 and 2. I was drawn to the second one because it had a killer track by our hero Antoine Dougbé, but eventually spent as much time with the first volume. Both are absolutely fantastic. Part of what I love so much about them is learning how much of an impact James Brown and his band had on African music, which is super apparent throughout these collections and especially this track. The drums and the grunts and the hard stops and the horn blasts — it’s all there. 

One of the finest elements of these records is the hidden track at the end, tucked five or so minutes back from the last song. These are often some of the hottest tracks on the album, well worth the wait, and this mystery song is no exception. Unfortunately, though, that means we don’t know who made this track or what it’s called. Oh well — that only makes it cooler!

- Adrian from Brooklyn

17. The Beatles - “Dizzy Miss Lizzy”

We watched “The Beatles: Eight Days a Week” recently (totally worth a watch), and we were struck all over again by how insane their lives must have been at that time. Yes fame, yes sudden fortune, yes global supremacy, yes yes yes — the thing that I can’t get over is the shrieking, and how it wasn’t just present at their shows, it was EVERYWHERE THEY WENT, AT ALL TIMES ON ALL DAYS, EVERY SECOND THEY WERE OUTSIDE. How completely unsettling that must have been, to be the center of that howl, day after day, year after year. 

18. The Fall - “Sing! Harpy”

Dedicated to Adrian from Brooklyn and all those young women and men losing their minds over the Beatles so completely that all they could do was shriek, even at shows where the crowd’s sound completely obliterated the sound of the band they so desperately loved and came to hear. 

(This is also some of my favorite violin playing in any rock music, right up there with “Boys Keep Swinging” and The Ex’s “State of Shock.” I would LOVE to work with a violinist in this mode.)

19. T.P. Orchestre Poly-Rythmo - “Gnon a Gnon Wa”

So intense! That constant chord strike throughout the song is a kind of high-note drone that we find ourselves drawn to. It kind of reminds me of the sound of a casino, where you walk in and all of the machines are chiming the same note, promising to just take your mind away and keep it safe until you need it again.

- Tommy Guerrero - “El Camino Negro” - “Road to Nowhere”

20. Black Dragons de Porto Novo - “Se Djro” What a slinky number! I love how spare the instrumentation is, but how much power is contained in that one guitar part. This is side A of a 7” put out on Albarika Store, the label that T.P. Orchestre called home for many albums. 

21. Helen Nkume and Her Young Timers - “Time” This is (so far) the closest we’ve gotten to reggae on WBFF. I know nothing about the band or the music other than their fantastic name and sound — oh, and the fact that she is known elsewhere as Prophetess Helen Nkume. She appears to be Nigerian, or anyway her record label is. I love the guitar hook on this song, it just sneaks in and steals the show.

22. Anne Sylvestre - “Les Gens Qui Doutent”

23. Parvati Khan - “Jimmi Jimmi Jimmi Aaja Aaja Aaja Re Mere” A lucky find! Someone in one of my Facebook groups posted a video from this album, so I took note and returned later to check it out. This is from an Indian movie called “I’m a Disco Dancer” that looks like a real kooky thrill. The actors appear to have only the vaguest sense of what “disco” might be — or what a guitar might be, for that matter. It kind of looks like someone saw a single photo of a disco night and extrapolated a whole movie from it. Nonetheless, Parvati Khan is entrancing in the song and in the video, and we HAVE to see this movie, with or without subtitles. The smoldering look alone really requires investigation:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUdJQSUcK_Y

24. Nancy Sit - “Love Potion #9” * One thing I’ve always known about Evan is that he doesn’t like the song  “Love Potion #9.” When we stumbled across this, I thought it was awesome but I didn’t want to make Evan listen to a song he doesn’t like on Valentine’s Day! Evan says this song has little to do with “Love Potion #9” which makes me wonder, Evan, what’s the part you don’t like about “Love Potion #9”?

Evan adds: I honestly can’t remember what my issue with this song was. I swear, it was like… it was around the time of “Melt With You,” which I also found inexplicably irritating (and still do). I suspect now that there was an inept cover version that first steered me wrong… but luckily there’s a strange Chinese version to steer me right again! Oh life.

- Michel Legrand - “Solange’s Song (Instrumental)” - “The Young Ladies of Rocheforte”

25. The Velvet Underground - “I’ll Be Your Mirror” * This is the song that I said was the best love song of the western world on the real radio. I think it’s so beautiful and so adult. I don’t even know if I would have thought of this as love song a few years ago. When first got into the V.U. I thought it was a pretty song – a neat song, but I didn’t really know what it meant, what it could mean. What’s funny is when I think of this song, I have a Lou Reed version in my head – his voice, the harmonies. When I revisited the Max’s Kansas City live version (which as far as I know is the only one besides other more recent live versions and surely what I’m thinking of?) I realized that the version in my head is essentially that one but cleaned up, remastered, different EQ, and as far as I know entirely imagined.

Evan adds: (Paige has been playing this song recently around the apartment. I don’t even have to tell you how lovely it is.)

*p.s. If you want to hear the piece about musicians talking about favorite love songs on KWMU it’s here: https://news.stlpublicradio.org/show/st-louis-on-the-air/2021-02-11/listen-love-songs-to-keep-you-warm-on-cold-winter-nights

Super fun getting to talk about this stuff and in such good company!

[uncloseted]

Hey Christina!!!!!!!!!! Sorry I’m hyped. I was wondering if you could do a “50 things about yourself” idk if you’ve done it before but I’d like to know about you cause you’re so cool! 😎 and we love you

Hi!  I haven’t done one before but I’m happy to.  And of course, if there’s anything you guys want to know about me I’m an open book.  This particular “50 Things” tag is old school Tumblr, so it’s sort of random, but hopefully something in there is interesting for you guys.

1. What takes up too much of your time?

Reddit.  I’m an information junkie and most of the stuff on there has very little use in my life, but once in a while I come across a gem and it’s what keeps me scrolling.

2.       What makes your day better?

Iced coffee.  There’s a coffee shop near my house that I really like, and I also bought a bunch of the fancy flavored syrups so I can make it at home.

3.       What’s the best thing that happened to you today?

I’ve been having a pretty chill day so far, but spending the day with my boyfriend has been really nice.

4.       What fictional place would you like to go?

The Night Circus!  It’s one of my secret ambitions in life to actually build it.

5.       Are you good at giving advice?

I sure hope so, otherwise I’m running some of your lives 😂. But seriously, I do my best.1.

6.       Do you have any mental illness?

Let’s say I know my way around a therapist’s office and leave it at that.

7.       Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Yes!  I used to get a combination of sleep paralysis and exploding head syndrome semi-regularly, but that hasn’t happened in years.

8.       What musician inspired you the most?

I don’t know about “inspired” but I think The Velvet Underground had a big hand in shaping who I am.  Also Patti Smith, she’s great.  I highly recommend her book “Just Kids” to all of you.  There’s something about it that feels Skinsy even though on paper they’re nothing alike.

9.       Have you ever fallen in love?

Absolutely.  I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years now and I couldn’t be happier. 

10.   What’s your dream date?

I love driving to a new city and checking out what there is to do there.  I think having a place that you share just with that one person is really romantic. 

11.   What do other people notice about you?

My hair, my clothes, or my “intimidating” face are the ones I hear the most often.

12.  What is the annoying habit you have?

My boyfriend really hates it when I do “active listening” (where you nod or make noises to let people know you’re still paying attention to them).

13.  Do you still talk to your first love?

No, but I hope they’re doing well.

14.  How many ex’s do you have?

6ish would be my guess?  I’d be interested to know if all of those people would say that I’m their ex, though.

15.  How many songs are on your playlist?

I don’t really make playlists, so I guess none.  I’m sorry that’s a super boring answer. 

16.  What instruments can you play?

Piano and bass guitar pretty well and tuba badly (and I can’t actually carry the instrument anymore).  I could play the flute when I was younger but I imagine I can’t anymore.

17.  Who do you have the most pictures of?

My boyfriend, I think.  I have a Polaroid camera and I like taking pictures of him when he’s not paying attention. 

18.  Where would you like to go before you die?

Argentina, Scandinavia, Japan, South Korea, Hong Kong, Russia, Vietnam, South Africa, Morocco, Australia, Antarctica, and the moon.

19.  What is your zodiac?

Libra!  My birthday is coming up on the 17th. 

20.  Do you relate to it?

I do!  And I feel sort of badly about that because I know that zodiac is just the Barnum Effect in action, but the Libra desire for balance, idealism, and love of aesthetics is me. 

21.  What is happiness to you?

Being free of expectations from myself and other people.

22.  Are you going through anything right now?

In my experience, adulthood is just going through different things for the rest of your life, so yes. Pretty much always.  But right now I’m looking for a new job and that’s been a lot.

23.  What is the worst decision you’ve ever made?

How much time do you have?  I did a lot of things in my teenage years that I’m not particularly proud of.

24.  What is your favourite store?

I love really giant department stores like Harrod’s, or covered markets with tons of different random stalls.  I like the idea that you don’t know what you’re going to find.  I also love antique stores for the same reason.

25.  What is your opinion on abortion?

It should be available and accessible to anyone who wants or needs it.  But so should birth control.  And I think it’s important that people understand all of their options before making a decision and are given mental health support if they need it as well. 

26.  Do you have a bucket list?

Not really.  I had basically one thing that I’d always wanted to accomplish and that happened way earlier than I expected, so now I’m trying to figure out what my next thing will be.

27.  Do you have a favourite album at the moment?

Blue Scholar’s Cinematropolis or Belle & Sebastian’s Dear Catastrophe Waitress.  And Velvet Underground’s Loaded, always. 

28.  What do you want for your birthday?

I’m hoping my boyfriend and I will go away for the weekend.  Fingers crossed that our schedules work out!

29.  What are most people’s first impression of you?

I think people find me to be intimidating (when they’re being generous) or mean (when they’re not).  Like I said before, I have a bit of a bitchy face and so I have to make a conscious effort to smile at people.

30.  What age do you seem according to most people?

I’m not sure.  I’ve gotten to the point where I’m just sort of “in my 20s” and people don’t care what the exact number is.  But in general, I think people assume I am however old they are, so anywhere from like 18-30.

31.  Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

Right next to my bed, which you shouldn’t do.  But I read on my phone before I go to sleep and I use it as an alarm clock, so it ends up on my bedside table.

32.  What word do you say the most?

It’s probably “but”.  I spend a lot of time considering all the possibilities in a given situation so I spend a lot of time being like, “but what about this? But what if that? Things could be this way, but on the other hand they’re like that”.  I don’t think I really have a catchphrase, though.

33.  What’s the oldest age you would date?

Thirty, probably?  I feel like anyone older than that is probably in a different stage of their life than I am.

34.  What’s the youngest age you would date?

Twenty three or so?  They would have to be out of college.

35.  What job/career do most people say would suit you?

Other than the job I do now, I get a lot of people saying that I should be an art curator or a museum curator.  And I get people telling me I should be a therapist, obviously.

36.  What’s your favourite music genre?

Like most people I like your general pop/rock situation.  I really like baroque pop, which is pop music but that includes orchestral instruments.  And then I also love electroswing, I think it’s such a fun blend of genres.

37.  If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

Either the Netherlands or Denmark.  But I would also like to spend some time in France and more time in Italy, where I did study abroad.  I also really love the UK, but given the current political situation I’m not sure I’ll be moving there any time soon, especially since I’d need a visa.

38.  What is your current favourite song?

I don’t know if I really have one.  I do enjoy when I hear Billie Eilish’s “Bad Guy” on the radio, though, does that count?

39.  How long have you had this blog for?

Since October, 2013!  I’m coming up on my six year anniversary.  I think I have something like 30,000 posts.

40.  What are you excited for?

The future! I think no matter how the present seems, the future is always an exciting prospect. 

41.  Are you a better talker or listener?

I think this might surprise some people, but I think I’m a better talker than listener.

42.  What is the last productive thing you did?

The last really productive thing I did was to film a pitch video for a project I’m working on, but the most recent is doing some work for this blog.

43.  What do you want for Christmas?

The impeachment of Donald Trump? Can Santa do that?  I would also take “people taking climate crisis seriously”.

44.  What class do you get the best grades in?

In high school, philosophy/religion and psychology. At university I did very well in “Iconic Figures of Popular Music: Simon and Garfunkel”.

45.  On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling?

Around a 7.  I need to get dressed and leave the house, but I don’t have anywhere in particular I need to be so I’ve been putting it off.

46.  What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

I’d like to be living in a different country than the one I do now with my boyfriend.  I’d like to be self employed or remotely employed, so that I have flexibility in when and where I do work.  I want to be doing something where I’m bettering other people’s lives or the world at large. But mostly what I’d like to be doing is traveling and learning.  But really my priority is that by that time, I want to be content with myself.  I think what you’re doing and where you’re doing it is so much less important than how you feel while doing it, and in 10 years I hope I can say that I’m living a happy and worthwhile life, whatever that ends up being.

47.  When did you get your first heart broken?

I think I was 14.  What I’ll say about it is this- in the moment it mattered so, so much to me.  My parents were the first person that each other dated and I assumed that was how all relationships worked, so when that wasn’t how this one worked out, I was devastated.  But now I barely remember that person, and  I live with someone else who’s completely different and totally awesome and I couldn’t be happier.  I know it sounds like a lie but with time and perspective all wounds can heal.

48.  At what age do you want to get married?

I didn’t think I wanted to get married at all.  I don’t like the idea of having a big wedding where you’re the center of attention and everyone is starting at you.  But in the long run being legally married is practical, so my boyfriend and I will probably do it at some point when we feel like it makes logistic sense.

49.  What career did you want to have as a child?

I wanted to be an Imagineer at Disney.  They’re the people who design the theme parks.  I also wanted to be the president of the moon.

50.  What do you crave right now?

Excitement!  Nothing is going on in my day right now and I’m starting to get bored.  I have a very low tolerance for boredom so days like this really get to me.

[joemuggs]

PERCEPTION OF DOORS

Was reminded by a conversation yesterday about the art of the club door person, and dug this out, which I wrote for the Amsterdam Dance Event annual back in 2014. 

---

If you want a clear view of how clubland operates, why not ask its guardians? The men and women who stand at the doors – whether to take money, pick and choose who gets in, or act as enforcers of rules – are the first and last people clubbers will see in their night out, and are uniquely placed to assess what makes the clubbers themselves tick. They are the interface between club, clubber and promoter, and able to provide a (more-or-less) sober overview of what goes on. But frequently, too, they are the filter: they are the one person more than anyone whom by their choices, defines the nature of the crowd on a given night. As such, they are not just list-tickers, cash-till operators or hired muscle, but are a vital cog in the club's cultural machine, a part of the club's personality. And plenty of them are as big a music lovers as the promoters or DJs too. So from London to New York, Glasgow to Pretoria to L.A., we present the past, present and future of these essential sentinels and unsung heroes of the night.

BIG FRANK

Big Frank, aka Faafaga Samuelu, is a true Los Angeles legend. The imposing Samoan-American was a school friend of underground hip hop DJ/producer Kevin “Daddy Kev” Moo, and they threw parties together from Junior High onwards (“I was the muscle, he was the brain,” laughs Frank; “a perfect combination”). But Frank was also a hardcore gangbanger in his late 1980s / early 90s adolescence: “I remember him showing me a sawed-off shotgun in 8th grade while we were riding the bus to school,” says Kev, nonchalantly. Frank served serious jail time in the late 90s, but when he came out, Kev was there, happy to team up again.

Kev founded the legendary Low End Theory – hub of the psychedelic, electronic “L.A. beat scene” that spawned artists like Flying Lotus, Gaslamp Killer and co – in 2006, but by 2011 it had become so popular, hosting the likes of Thom York and Erykah Badu, that their host venue's bouncers were shaking down clubbers for bribes to get in. This was the moment when Frank's demeanour, reputation and willingness to turn up with an AR-15 assault rifle came into their own, and perhaps unsurprisingly the previous security stepped aside without any trouble to make way for him to take over on LET's Wednesday nights.

Since then, LET's reputation as a friendly spot has only grown. “Being the familiar face of the club,” says Frank, “is great fun and oftentimes just lots of funny. And if you're coming to us, you'll be more comfortable if you feel like you know the guy at the door – and a cool farewell at the end of the night helps as well!” Now in his 40s, he is happy to be a cool head, mainly in the background: “I have different reasons for being in the scene still,” he says; “What's still there is the love for music, but now my desire to be in the crowd is gone. The times of getting fucked up and bumping rap at a back yard party is long gone. What makes me happy, though, is the presence of the forty-somethings and even older folks that attend our club. It helps me feel like our push to progress the music is appreciated. As if all this time in the scene produced something that my generation can be proud of – not just slangin' and gang bangin'.”

JR

In South Africa, house music means more to people than almost anywhere else on earth. And Tebogo “JR” Modiba knows this more than most – his laid-back House 22 parties in Pretoria are an oasis of sophistication and unity in a society still riven with violence and harsh divisions. He ended up working the door there by default: “House 22 started an purely by-invite-only underground deep house joint,” he explains; “so as the founder, I had to work the door in order to overlook the invitations myself. Over time, we have opened up to the general public, but we still keep a close eye on disruptive elements who might not understand and appreciate the underground deep house culture.”

Like all the best doormen, though, he's not just there to filter people out. “The door is the most important part of the business,” he insists. “That's where punters, especially first timers, should start experiencing what the atmosphere of the club is like. All of that depends on how the doorman welcomes them and treat them.” In fact, his biggest problems are cops (“those fellas have serious anger issues, especially when they see people having fun while they are working – and they're the biggest tax collectors too, [taking money] to allow you to operate without interrupting your business with constant inspections, or to protect your patrons from being harassed”) and the weather. One time the mainly-outdoor House 22 venue was hit by tennis ball-sized hailstones, causing a near stampede for cover, which JR was able to only just keep from becoming mass panic.

All his efforts lead to a club where passion for music rules – and so it should, when JR's own love for house still drives everything. At the drop of a hat, he will reel off favourite DJs' names– Vinny Da Vinci, Christos, Glen Lewis, Jimpster, Atjazz, Ralf Gum, Andre Lodemann, Andy Compton & The Rurals, Lars Behrenroth, and Louie Vega – and those of beloved festivals that inspire him like Sónar, ADE and Southport Weekender. And you just know there's no bullshit when he says: “I don't think I am ready to live without my house music, the club life and the people I have met and we became one house music family. Not any time soon.”

JAY CLOTH

London gay scene institution Duckie is more than just a club – as “Purveyors of Progressive Working Class Entertainment”, its team have created a multi-headed beast with art events, talks and exhibitions worldwide. But Duckie's soul resides in its bacchanals every Saturday night at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern, still presided over by the same team that founded it 19 years ago: producer Simon Casson, radically eclectic DJ duo The London Readers Wifes, compere Amy Lamé and “box office artistes” Father Cloth and Jay Cloth. Jay is extraordinarily proud to be on the door - “Duckie is unlike any other London Club and IS gay culture to me,” he says, though cites inspiration from a motley lineage of misfit clubs past like The Bell, Marvellous, Daisy Chain, Lippy and anything involving cabaret monster David Hoyle (née The Divine David).

“I am very proud that Duckie is a very friendly club,” says Jay, “and the team of 'Cloths' that work the door set the tone by being as welcoming as possible to all.” As anyone who's been to the club knows, though, they may be welcoming, but you have to step up to the mark and contribute to the wild energy. Jay will turn away “stag and hen parties, anyone too obviously drunk, too obviously high, anyone rude, anyone wearing fur” and only welcome celebrity guests “as long as they are willing to pay the same as everyone else – we are very egalitarian.” “What makes me really happy,” he says, “is when the mix of people is so extreme I wouldn't want to be anywhere else on earth.” His only fear is that “around 1am some nights when the Wifes announce they are about to play their favourite record of all time, I worry the floor might give in!”

ANGELO FABARA

Anyone who thinks that garish clubwear and superstar DJ culture started with EDM should look back to early 90s New York – which truly was the best of times, and the worst of times. Clubbing was a performance then, with the self-proclaimed Club Kids creating atmospheres so decadent and sights so eye-popping that it could feel like the last days of Rome. The Limelight was the heart of all of this, and bringing some kind of order to the chaos was Angelo Fabara. Angelo was an out-of-towner, drawn as a teenager to NYC's clubs like moth to flame by the “idea of community foremost, but then the escapism it offers to young people to safely experiment with.”

He was soon part of that community. In high school he went to the Limelight every weekend, but after getting into NYU, this quickly switched to going nightly. As a face on the scene, he says, “eventually was asked to promote some nights which led to my being hired as a junior door / guestlist person under the guidance of the more veteran door people at the Limelight. I worked there for about a year and a half after which I worked at Twilo for another year at the height of rave / club music coming to NYC.” New York can be a scary city, and Angelo had to learn fast how to turn away the crazies who might later follow or lay in wait for someone who had offended them: “I worked out I needed to give them a bigger reason they couldn't come in,” he says, “like 'the venue's at capacity', rather than quipping slights at their character which I may have done when I first started.”

As a doorman, though, he didn't just have to keep the badasses out: he had to help create atmosphere. “I let in anyone I knew was a great dancer,” he says, “or had a great look: people who made the dancefloor flourish or were nice eye candy. You also had to educate people who came to the clubs to make an effort because everyone else was taking the time to look impeccably chic or coming up with a look that just added to the design and visual language of the scene at that time. If you were a suit, I wouldn't let you in, if you came as a group of guys I wouldn't let you in, if you didn't look the part you would have a harder time at the door. Much later in life, I compare it to Walt Disney who always started his stories off by making his characters literally step through a door into a fantasy world, transported to another place. I wanted to be that person that showed you through that door.”

The scene famously turned bad. “A lot of people died from drugs,” recalls Angelo sadly. “Heroin became big in the 90s, and Michael Alig murdered his club kid friend Angel, which ended the reign of Peter Gatien's clubs like USA, Palladium, Limelight, Tunnel which were the best clubs in NYC history, places with a creativity you just don't see nowadays.” Angelo stepped away from the scene, moving into culture reporting with Microsoft's 'Sidewalk' site – but he never lost his love for what had first inspired him as a kid. “I still think about how easily I made friends on the dancefloor and how so many of us are still friends today 22 years later.”

BOB WONG

Glasgow is one of the most beloved, yet notorious, clubbing centres of the world, known for the utter lunacy, in both the good and bad senses, of its crowds. So it's nice to know that its scene has a calm centre in the affable and unflappable Bob Wong, the head of security (“I prefer 'doorman' or 'steward' but that confuses people, so I usually end up saying 'bouncer',” he laughs) at the Glasgow School Of Art – a venue that has hosted everything from the most manaical techno to the heaviest dub to avant garde noise events.

Bob is a true lover of and participant in Glasgow's underground scene – indeed, in researching this article, his was the first name mentioned by every Glaswegian we spoke to. “Scots know how to party!” he says simply as explanation of why he loves the scene. “You can't beat seeing likeminded people – people of all ages, race, colour, sexuality, social background etc etc etc – switch off from their daily grind of the working week and completely lose themselves, intoxicated with their poison of choice, in the music they love and really go for it on the dancefloor.”

This no-nonsense attitude and affection for the crowds runs through everything he does. “I, and the rest of my team are there to ensure the punters have a great night, and more importantly a safe one: safe from themselves and each other when they inevitably get carried away.” And to do this he insists on a friendly culture: “I hated working with macho 'bouncers',” he continues, “who could only brag about how many fights they'd won or how many girls they've slept with – so when I finally became head steward, I made a point of having only people with a similar mindset to mine on the team, and it makes a difference to everyone.”

Has he ever been scared, surrounded by punters when they “inevitably get carried away”? “You're probably expecting a mad story here,” he smiles, “about some kinda riot or a scenario where I've been stabbed or shot at – but no... if I ever get into a situation where I'm in a fight where my life is being seriously threatened then I can honestly say I'll have failed at my job. My scariest moments have to be the occasions where drunken punters have thought it was a great idea to slide down the banister of the stairs from the cloakroom on the top floor of the Artschool – a 4 level building – and have fallen over the edge and down between the flights of stairs... Thankfully no-one ever fell past the next floor but, all the same, hearing the thud and seeing them hit the floor you automatically assume the worst when they go limp and unresponsive! Thankfully and surprisingly there have never been any fatalities in my time (don't jinx it Bob haha!), just a few fractured vertebrae...”

[classic-rock-roller]

1. You’re hanging out with Kevin and Bonham one day when you get a call from a producer. He says he’s the producer for Ninja Sex Party, and that their singer saw an Instagram video of Bonham singing something and he wants her to do a duet with them of Close My Eyes Forever on their next cover album. What do you guys tell the producer, and what do you all say when you’ve hung up the phone?

She all but grabs the phone out of my hand and screams “YES!!!!!!” so it’s decided. Bonham is bouncing off the wall once we have up and Kevin goes sarcastically, “Oh yeah, you’re not excited at all.

2. You get a call one day from Arin Hanson at Game Grumps. He says that they saw your latest music video and interview (which was your collab with QR), and want one member from each band to join them as guests on the Ten Minute Power Hour. Do you accept? Who does each band send? How does the episode go?

We of course accept and we send Bons (Because I think she’d kill me if we didn’t send her) and QR oddly enough sends Carlos. It was pretty funny but that was mostly because Carlos and Bons were constantly bickering and the hosts had to sit between them to stop them. Even so, they kept glaring at each other the entire time. 

3. You’re going through a bunch of Bonham’s great grandma’s stuff one day and come across an ornate but unlabeled bottle. It’s got a brownish liquid in it, and you say, “Is this whiskey or perfume?” Before Bonham can answer, Kevin grabs the bottle from you, chugs it, and says, “It’s perfume.” How do you and Bonham respond?

Bons: Kevin, you’re an idiot. 

Me (smacks his head lightly): Don’t go drinking unlabeled bottles. What do I tell you?

Kevin: Use the brain that God gave me. 

Me: Yes, now Bons, we’ll be right back. I’m gonna take crazy over here to get checked to make sure that stuff won't kill him. 

4. You and Kevin are meeting Bonham and her brother Chuck at a restaurant one day. You walk in and immediately Kevin says, “God it stinks in here.” Chuck responds with, “Yeah you get used to it after about never.” How do you, Kevin, and Bonham respond?

Me (Breathes Deeply): Mmmm It smells like home. Or like the oil fryers haven’t been washed in a while. Either way, it smells like a Yoccos. 

Kevin (gags): Don’t remind me of that place. You took me there once and I never want to go back. 

Bons: What the fuck is Yoccos?

Me: Look, just because it’s not five star does not mean it sucks ok?

5. Kevin is in costume for a QR video one day and you see he’s in Victorian dress. Bonham says, “I thought you’d look better in a suit, but you still look stupid.” He just looks at her and pokes her with his walking cane. “Fuck you, I have a top hat now.” How do you respond?

Me: Well, I think he looks very handsome. 

I then give him a kiss. 

Bons (shaking her head): I still don’t get how you find him attractive. 

Kevin (pokes her again): Hey! I’m like sex on toast! 

6. Your band is in the studio one day and you’re struggling with the vocal line. It’s too low to sing naturally at a good volume, but not low enough that taking it up an octave will help. You’re all stumped until Bonham shouts, “I got it! Be right back!” She leaves and comes back with a balloon. “How’s this?” She says, before sucking helium and then singing the line. “Think that’ll work, or do you want to try?”She offers you the balloon. What do you do, and how does the rest of the band respond?

I, of course, give it a try because sulfur hexafluoride is known to lower your voice and it helps us get the note. 

Sean: Whoa! 

Linus: That’s one way to fix it 

Erik: Your voice sounds weird. 

7. Your band and QR are playing poker one day, and Bonham is continuously getting shitty hands. After the fifth one, she says, “Is this origami class cause I can’t stop folding.” She laughs a bit at her own joke. How do you and the rest of the boys respond?

Kevin and Rudy roll their eyes.  Frankie wasn’t paying attention and Carlos goes, “I don’t get it.” I stifle a giggle. 

8. You and Kevin are walking down the street one day when a Japanese tourist points excitedly at Kevin. He says to his wife in broken English (he wants you to hear him) “Look Suzy, that’s Kenny G!” How does she respond, and what do you and Kevin do?

I’m laughing out loud full on bending over holding my stomach and Kevin screams, “I am not fucking Kenny G!” 

9. You and Kevin come home one day to find Rudy on the couch and Bonham lying on the floor. “Rough day?” you ask? She says, “I drink to forget but I still remember.” Kevin looks at her confusedly. “You’re eating skittles?” How does she respond and what do you and Rudy say?

Bons: Because SOMEONE (looks at me) drank all our alcohol last week and we haven’t gotten any more of it yet. 

Me: Hey, I can’t help that my guy friend was over. 

Kevin: Who is this guy friend? I’ve never heard of this guy friend?

Rudy: Oh, I’ve met him. He’s super nice. 

10. Bonham makes no bones about the fact that she hates Rush, but one day you and Kevin come over to find her listening to Limelight at full volume. Kevin says to her, “But you hate Rush.” She just gives him a look and says, “’Scuse you, this is Ninja Sex Party.” It’s still a cover of a Rush song. How does Kevin respond and what do you say?

Kevin: It’s still a Rush song though...

Bons throws a pillow at him but it hits me in the face instead. 

Me: Hey! Watch where you’re throwing next time, please. 

11. Bonham’s been fangirling a bit over Dan from Game Grumps lately. Kevin can’t stand it, and one day he asks her, “What’s your deal with Danny?” She says, “He’s a beautiful Jewish man.” “So am I, what does that have to do with anything?” How does Bonham respond and what do you say?

Bons: Yeah, but you’re not Danny...you’re...you. 

Me: We literally have this argument every time you ask, Kev. Just stop. 

12. Bonham is singing along very intensely to Africa one day when you and Kevin and Rudy are over. When the song ends, Kevin says, “That bop of yours was more passionate than your whole career.” How does she respond and what do you and Rudy say?

Bons: Fuck you

Me: It is not. (lightly slaps him upside the head) Stop being an ass 

Rudy: You should have learned by now not to be stupid.

___________________

1) You, Randy, and Kevin are in your singer’s kitchen in her dorm while she’s doing something in her room. All of a sudden, you hear her scream and a huge thump. She then comes out of her room with her forehead bleeding. She glares at herself in the mirror before mumbling, “You’re such a fucking klutz. It’s bad enough that this happened last year you have to go two for two?” Before dabbing her forehead with a wet towel and grabbing out the band-aids. How do you, Kevin, and Randy respond?

2) Your singer is driving and taking you, Kevin, Rudy, and Carlos somewhere. When you stop at a red light, she looks over at Kevin and goes, “Kiss me at red lights because if you don’t, I’ll kiss you.” She leans over and gives him a kiss. How do you, Rudy, and Carlos react to this display of affection?

3) You come home from work to find you and your singer’s apartment oddly quiet. You come into the kitchen to see a broken glass, a bottle of pills, and blood. You don’t know what happened, but you soon find her in her room passed out on the bed and there's a small pool of blood on the sheets. What do you do?

4) You, your singer, Tommy, and your singer’s friend are following her to her dorm. When she opens up the door to her room, her friend stops, which makes you and Tommy run into her. You follow her gaze to find her staring at your singer’s wall, which is covered in photos. Your singer’s friend says, “I think you’ve gone a little overboard. You have like a metal shrine on your wall.” How do you, your singer, and Tommy respond?

5) You and your singer always get ready in the same dressing room before your concerts. One day, you’re getting dressed while she’s sitting at the vanity. Right after you’re finished getting dressed, Erik quickly pops in. Your singer takes a breath, blinks twice, and then crosses herself. Erik gives her a look and says, “You’ve never been religious.” She looks to him and goes, “It calms mu anxiety before a show and it usually brings good luck.” How do you and Erik respond?

6) You come home from work one day to find Kevin leaning his forehead on your singer’s door and quietly knocking, “Come on, Hon, please open up.” You ask what’s going on and he says, “Her aunt passed away today and she’s had her door locked since I got here. I’ve heard her crying for the past two hours.” What do you say to Kevin and what do you do to help your singer? 

7) You, Kevin, and your singer are in the car. Your singer is driving and has her phone hooked up to the Bluetooth. While driving, she keeps skipping songs going, “No, nope, nuh-uh, nope.” Finally, Kevin screams from the back, “Oh my god just pick something!” How do you and your singer respond?

8) You and your singer are sitting at the table drinking coffee when Roxanne comes in with a picture of you and your singer. She places it in front of your singer and goes, “Mom, who’s that with you?” Your singer picks up the picture and goes, “Oh my god, Bons, do you remember this? This was that picture that started the news outlets saying we were dating.” How do you and Roxanne respond?

9)  You, your singer, and her friend Ryan are sitting at the kitchen table while listening to Metal Health. Your singer will periodically ask him who the band is to which he’d respond, “Quiet Riot.” He does this one time as Kevin and Rudy come in and Kevin goes, “Oh you know my band?” Your singer doesn’t look up from her book but goes, “Don’t take it as a compliment. I’ve conditioned him since college to answer that question with Quiet Riot because that’s all I play around him.” How do you, Rudy, and Kevin respond?

10) You and Kevin are sitting in the living room when you hear your singer scream. You run to her room to see what’s the matter and you find her picking Nikki, her and your cat, off a record. “How many times do I have to tell you, Nikki? We don’t lay on records.” How do you and Kevin respond?

11) Rudy and Kevin are over working on a song. Kevin is making noises and doing little screams here and there. Your singer comes out f the kitchen with this smile on her face and goes up to Kevin. He gives her a weird look before she kisses him on the nose and goes, “You’re a screamy boi.” How do you, Rudy, and Kevin respond?

12) You and your singer are at the bar with Nikki and Tommy. Your singer and Tommy are bored so they’re pointing out people in the bar and whether or not they’d date them. Tommy goes to your singer, “I dare you to go make out with Kevin.” She steels herself and you, Tommy, and Nikki watch her walk past Kevin to a completely different guy before kissing him. You’re all staring at her when she comes back and she goes, “What? That’s Kevin.” How do you, Tommy, and Nikki respond?

13) Your band is kind of stuck for one last song for their album. You don’t know what to do when one day, your singer runs in and goes, “Guys! listen to this!” Before she plays you this song Hunger (available upon request) She looks to you and goes, “Can we please, please, please cover it?” You’re about to say something when Linus goes, “Sure but none of us can make that opening Ohhh sound anything like that.” How do you, your singer, Erik, and Sean respond?

14) Kevin is trying to teach Mal how to ride a bike and he can’t seem to do it. Mal goes to you, “Auntie Bons, can you teach me?” After about twenty minutes he’s riding just fine. How does Kevin respond and what do you and your singer say?

@osbournebemydaddy   your turn Bons :)

[savettimario]

I was not surprised when my wife graduated with distinction - UNILORIN Lecturer| Legit TV

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[the-mythical-norm]

*batteries not included

Paying for fun is stupid. But we do it because that’s the bill of goods we’ve been sold by a capitalist society. Everyone thinks “I️ need to have a lot of money or make a lot to do fun things. And I only do a thing most of the time if I’m getting paid” But making all this money is usually not fun. I️t doesn’t cost anything to sing in the rain or dance in the street. Of course a lot of fun things cost money and I️ do recognize it’s nearly impossible to live outside the marketplace. But why only do things that you get paid for? And why be imprisoned by paying for enjoyable things? We should strive to live lives where we mostly do things we aren’t paid for, rather things we love doing. Instead we spend most of it working and then doing stuff on the side that we don’t get paid for. Why do we have to work so much, are all of these things we want to buy really worth it? These bentleys, these hilltop mansions? And how the heck did we accept such a transaction? How did we get so caught up in the material world that we are forced to support it through hard work at whatever cost. I think it’s because of distraction. Our lives are largely filled with studying, test taking, being bored, working and other shit we don’t want to do, so how do we get through it? We need little pressure releases to keep us from killing ourselves. To keep us from questioning if this is all worth it. So they keep us distracted. Ultra, frat parties, video games, weekends. Just when we start to turn our heads and question our standing, ZAP!, Coachella!, oh theres a party this weekend? Ill do some drugs, blow off some steam.. life doesn’t suck that bad.

If we didn’t have these little treats, and we pondered all this work and pointlessness, we could become very dangerous to the marketplace. We might even start a revolution. They know what happened in 1968. They know about the stonewall riots, the black panther party, the civil rights movement, the counter culture, the situationist, et cetera.  

If we were gonna work, they had to make the work place cool too, some businesses will have a bar in the office, or a jungle gym, a nice cafe.. At google, you don’t even have to wear shoes and you can bring your pets, I wanna work there! Why would anyone refuse to spend their 9-5 here, its so comfortable! All of these little bites of coolness, and packaged rebellion, its just enough to keep us going. Keep the hamster in its wheel. The marketplace is genius. They know we don’t want to work, and they know we don’t need all this shit we are saving our money to buy, but they found a way to dismantle the young bombs inside us and we ended up on the hamster wheel anyway. Market researchers came into to our homes and studied us, so they knew exactly what we wanted, and exactly what else we wanted too. We wanted a burger, so of course we want the fries too, and the soda, ketchup, mustard…the products never stop. So we have to work more to afford it, but the work is comfortable enough so that we don’t question it. So if the work is comfortable, the benefits are nice, eventually you’ll get to use your money on the weekends or over the summer, whats the big deal? Why is it so bad to be a sheep?

I would argue its akin to the man who can’t see color. He lives his whole life without color, he doesn’t complain because he has no idea what he’s missing out on. But we can still see the color if we really want to. Jeffrey Kaplan writes about how they’ve devised a formula to keep us wanting in his article, “The Gospel Of Consumption,”

“Business leaders were less than enthusiastic about the prospect of a society no longer centered on the production of goods. For them, the new “labor-saving” machinery presented not a vision of liberation but a threat to their position at the center of power. John E. Edgerton, president of the National Association of Manufacturers, typified their response when he declared: “I am for everything that will make work happier but against everything that will further subordinate its importance. The emphasis should be put on work — more work and better work.” “Nothing,” he claimed, “breeds radicalism more than unhappiness unless it is leisure.” By the late 1920s, America’s business and political elite had found a way to defuse the dual threat of stagnating economic growth and a radicalized working class in what one industrial consultant called “the gospel of consumption” — the notion that people could be convinced that however much they have, it isn’t enough. President Herbert Hoover’s 1929 Committee on Recent Economic Changes observed in glowing terms the results: “By advertising and other promotional devices . . . a measurable pull on production has been created which releases capital otherwise tied up.” They celebrated the conceptual breakthrough: “Economically we have a boundless field before us; that there are new wants which will make way endlessly for newer wants, as fast as they are satisfied.”

No wonder we want to make so much money, we have too many things we want to buy, and its all part of their plan. The market is even smarter than that. They hijacked cool culture too.

“Nike shoes are sold to the accompaniment of words delivered by William S. Burroughs and songs by The Beatles, Iggy Pop, and Gil Scott Heron ("the revolution will not be televised"); peace symbols decorate a line of cigarettes manufactured by R. J. Reynolds and the walls and windows of Starbucks coffee shops nationwide; the products of Apple, IBM, and Microsoft are touted as devices of liberation; and advertising across the product category sprectrum calls upon consumers to break rules and find themselves.”  -The Conquest of Cool

It doesn’t stop there. Anything new, revolutionary, bold, exciting, cool, everything will be packaged and sold to the masses, by the market. Everything and anything cool you do will be quickly be co-opted and marketed. So then we gotta find something else thats cool, but thats exactly what they want. It’s the perfect equation, we rebel, they sell it, we quit that and find something else, then they just go and sell that too. We’re just rotating the crops. But they got tired of chasing the cool, now they just tell us what to want. Cool still existed and it still rocked. True rebellion existed too, the dadaists, the renaissance, counter culture, LGBT, the beats, the hippies, the black panther party, the list goes on. But it’s sort of diluted, it’s hard to tell if an act is authentic rebellion or just something to sell. I️ know Marcel Duchamp was really rebelling when he submitted his urinal to the exhibition of the Society of Independent Artists, in 1917, but is Marlon Brando really rebelling? When he struts into town with his formidable stature, and wandering gaze. With his blue jeans and leather jacket, or is I️t just a big commercial for Levi Strauss? Buy this new look if you wanna be cool like Brando. All this rebellion was real, but the market eventually saw this and did something about I️t. They sold our little rebellions to us with Dr Martins, hot topic, urban outfitters, etc. These companies have packaged and sold our oppositional energies. The words rebellion and revolution are so watered down, they were even able to make us feel rebellious by our decision to wear vans instead of converse! They are fueling our rebellions so that we feel satisfied.  So we don’t freakout!

So now they tell us what we want. Oh you need this new iPhone, this outfit, these shoes, blah blah I️t never stops. How many times did Wozniak say that this new iPhone will revolutionize everything. We are literally put on this earth to buy and sell.  

Can we really live authentically? And how can we exist outside the market place? Or at least try? Advertisements for these ivory towers to live in, for these vehicles of mass opulence, for these clothes knitted in gold… its been shoved down our gullet and posted on every wall we pass. In class we talked about how we don’t need all this shit, but they’ve made us want it so bad, that we are basically imprisoned by material. Because we are imprisoned, we must fund our material obsessions, by studying business and accounting, getting internships that put your foot in the door, then a cushy job after college. They’ll tell you, college is for making connections.. you don’t actually learn shit. Nobody uses their major anymore, its just a stamp of approval. I think thats why some people hate college, why doesn’t anyone study art history, or the apartheid in Africa, or the renaissance, music history…why doesn’t anyone want us to know these things? Everyone you meet is just seen as a stepping stone that leads to your palace someday. Oh I gotta be friends with this guy, he can cut me a deal on a nice house later on, and this guy will get me a free car..etc. I got a photographer friend, a banker friend, a chef friend, man I’m set! I mean so many of our relationships are just like empty calories. When you say ‘have a nice day’ as you pass the hostess on the way out of a nice dinner, do you really mean it? Do you want to help her actually have a nice day? Do you care if she does or not? The answer is probably not. But what are we supposed to do just walk out and say no words? I think this is tunnel vision at its finest. We think that this is the only way to live so we do it without question because the unknown is too scary.  So then we do things like joining a fraternity because theres nothing else to do in this town. We don’t want to be lonely. We don’t want to venture into the unknown. Joining a fraternity as an antidote for loneliness is gasoline to put out a fire, man. We study to get degrees that will get us great jobs so we can drive to work faster in our Ferraris, to make more money…just running faster and faster on that hamster wheel. Why are we so obsessed with being successful? That equation is why most people live lives of quite desperation. “Well, theres nothing else to do, theres no other life to live….If I didn’t do this with my life, what else would I do with my time?” So who’s to blame for this plutocracy, this capitalist society? Is it our fault? Is it the markets fault? The market research teams, our parents, society…who’s responsible for this! A world of mooks and midriffs! I don’t know, and at this point I don’t think it matters.

Maybe We Just have to Go. Go outside, go for a walk. Life’s joy doesn’t only come from personal relationships and material posessions, but experiences with nature too. Christopher McCandless knew that when he set out for Alaska.

I️ have found great joy in riding my bike on a breezy day, through the falling leaves that shed from the trees above, or sitting out on a doc at some marina underneath the moonlight, playing my harmonica as the boats sway. Hell, I’ve had times far more mysterious and enjoyable then any trip abroad, just looking at the Lake or the beach for a while. Its true we all need a tonic of wildness, but its closer than you think and a lot cheaper too. These things are basically free, and I️m not getting paid to do them. Granted there was a transaction to get the bike.. but these are ways I️ try existing outside the marketplace. Of course brands like REI, Patagonia, Vissla, etc, they try to sell me things I’ll need when I️m off exploring, and I️ buy them because I️m a hedonist too. I just try my best to only take what ill need. And most the things I do buy, I won’t actually need. I️ met a kid the other day while biking. Brandon Stephan Davis. He stood tall and radiated this strange cloud of wisdom around him. His hair was wild and dreaded, clothes withered and faded. He’s a kid about our age, from the big Apple. Hitchhiked all the way to the 305 with nothing but a backpack, an instrument he invented, and his poetry journal. Thats pretty cool. Brandon did that entire journey with basically no money, and not a lick of REI or Patagonia apparel on him. Man, did he have a lot to say! He wrote poetry in a small journal that he kept in his fanny pack, I had the pleasure of hearing one on black oppression. I️ asked him where he was headed, he pulled out a neatly folded map that looked like it had been around. He pointed to this small river and said, “I️m just gonna sit there and watch the water, then I’ll figure out what next. I️ got no where to be.” I can bet he didn’t have a lot of money, but I’d say he’s one the most successful people I’ve met in a while.

[hi-im-bunny]

I was tagged by the lovely @alicexhightopp HERE WE GO!! Appearance: ✨5'5" ✨got dirty blonde hair with highlights and rose gold ends currently ✨ naturally dirty blonde ✨ WHITER THAN A NAPKIN ✨ green eyes ✨ freckles and acne ✨ i often wear pretty basic glasses and light make up ✨ my hair is freaking long i'm almost able to sit on it ( i gotta get a hair cut ) ✨ not the skinniest person in the world but i'm happy with my body, i'm average sized ✨ often seen looking like a hot topic employee Personality: ✨ I'm a Gryffindor so there's that ✨ i'm EXTREMELY SHY when meeting new people ✨ when around friends i'm one of the goofiest goobers ✨ i'm a freaking optimist most of the time ✨ i try to act like a grump sometimes but i'm just too darn happy when i'm around my friends ✨ don't go out too much but when i do leave my cave of a bedroom i'm either at school or at my dance studio Abilities: ✨ I can eat an entire pizza by myself ✨ i'm a dancer, currently on my 13th year of dance ✨ pretty good soccer player ✨ i can draw things halfway decently ✨ I can remember my preschool years but ask me about what we talked about in class the other day imma draw a blank ✨ I can give a pretty creepy ass death glare that scares all my friends ✨ I can put my leg behind my head Hobbies: ✨ Drawing ✨ Dancing around my room ✨Listening to music ✨ Collecting pop figures ✨ Shopping for random ass clothes and even more pop figures ✨ Full time fangirl in many fandoms Experiences: ✨ Had my first kiss at 14 ✨ Went to Disneyland in 2016 and met a whole bunch of characters ✨ Had the Mad Hatter tell me he likes me more than Alice during a game of musical chairs and claimed i'm the "new alice" since i'm blonde and was wearing blue that day ✨ once scored a goal from the halfway line on the soccer field during a game which ended up making us win and go to the finals ✨ Flew to Chicago and saw Hamilton ✨ Saw Book of Mormon and Lion King when the musicals came to my city ✨ Visited South Africa to see my dads side of the family and surfed Relationships: ✨ Currently single cause my boyfriend was a manipulative ass ✨ Lowkey dating a ton of fictional characters ✨ I have many friends from both dance and school (and some on here, yay) ✨ I love food (idek what i'm doing anymore lmao) My Life: ✨ I live in the hell hole known as Texas ✨ Currently learning how to drive so i can get my license soon ✨ Went to the hospital several times when i was little for stitches cause i was an accident prone little shit ✨ Broken my wrist and L4 in my back before ✨ I've been dancing for 13 years ✨ Currently a junior in high school ✨ About to help my brother move into college for his very first year Random shit: ✨Have two adorable doggos who i love so much ✨ Used to have three doggos but sadly had to have one put down in 2013, i was devastated ✨ My dad is from South Africa ✨ Got an iphone, laptop, mac book, apple watch, got a tv in my room ✨ I'm a spoiled ass brat 😂 ✨ I once ate half a cake in one day, it was my birthday DONT JUDGE ME 😂 ✨ My friend and i call eachother Tin Man and Scarecrow, and Mrs Potts and Lumiere (we played these characters in dance productions) Idk who i should tag so if you follow me and you see this go ahead and do it if you want and say i told yah to or something, or don't that's fine you can make your own choices imma stop talking now BYE ❤️

[ecoamerica]

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

[mikeswheeler]

I was tagged by the lovely @finnxwheeler​ and @jewishstanuris​ ♡

Okay so answer the questions and then tag 8 people!

What made you sign up to Tumblr? HOOO BOI well i’ve been on this site for,,, a long time lmao i signed up with my first account aka my main, personal one in around early 2011 ??? and it was honestly just bc i wanted to see what this site was all about bc i kept hearing ppl talk about it on other sites and reference it and i was like ???? what is Tumblr anyways ?? (like it was all bc of that “What is air?” stuff that was happening and i was so confused bc i was like why is everyone asking about air and then my older brother was like oh it’s a Tumblr thing so i was like what’s that and well,, the rest is history)

What did your blog start off as being? WELL my first account was basically cringe-central, like this was in 2011 so my content was basically Memes and Tumblr-esque inspirational quotes and cheesy, basic lookin’ photography (i was also really into anime and Harry Potter at the time so that was another thing) (oh and for some reason i had a Lolita phase where i was super into that style of fashion) (i was a weeb as a child)

Have you ever received any creepy asks, and if so, what did they say? Ehhhhhh,,, kind of ??? like i’ve definitely gotten a couple that i either wanted to deflect or i just kind of conveniently deleted it from my inbox and pretended it never happened lmao 

Have you ever had a bad experience on Tumblr? All the pornbots like it’S SO ANNOYING ??? AND GROSS ?? it’s especially apparent on my personal blog idk why but i have to block so many at a time smh 

If you had to pick a favourite English monarch, who would you pick? This is like a question i’ve never had to think about so I’m not really sure what to answer... 

Do you prefer hot or cold? COLD COLD COLD i’m also in California though so our cold isn’t like...... unbearable ya know ??? but i can’t stand being super hot and sweaty, it’s so uncomfortable !!! 

Do you have a special skill or talent? UHM I GUESS ACTING ????????? idk i kinda don’t wanna say that bc that’s implying i’m like ‘good’ at or whatever, but i have been in multiple plays/musicals before and even gotten an award for one of my roles so i guess that counts for something !!! 

Do you have a phobia of anything? Tight spaces, spiders (or just bugs in general), the dark, heights, anything medical related so blood and needles and hospitals and what not, aliens/the paranormal/supernatural (it’s not such a wild concept ok like it’s all totally plausible)... uHM yah i’m a big baby about a lot of things 

If you had to pick a favourite real life villain from history, who would you pick? Again, never had to consider this question before in my life so i’m not really sure !!!

Do you have any dark traits?

There are times where i’m pretty withdrawn and moody and easily irritated 

If you could do anything, literally anything, like fly on a unicorn or something, what would it be? 

Is it weird if it’d be something like,,, be cast on Stranger Things ??? like i think i fantasize about being on that show ten times a day, i just...... i really wanna be on Stranger Things gOD IMAGINE HOW AMAZING THAT WOULD BE 

What is the scale of the worst argument you’ve ever had? Slamming doors, raised voices, lots of crying...... fun times !!!

What is your favourite slush flavour? Not really into slushies tbh 

If you could bring back any food or drink from your childhood that has been discontinued, what would it be? DUNKAROOS ????? i feel like any snack from the 90s tho like we just don’t have anything as fun as what we had back then 

What is your favourite and most vivid childhood memory? Nothing specific but i remember playing outdoors with my siblings A LOT like we had a pretty big backyard so we’d constantly be out there, being imaginative and coming up with fake scenarios and acting them out, or like playing with the hose in the summertime or THE POOL omg we had this pool and we’d be in it so much...... also video game battles with my older brother ! my childhood was kinda shitty but at least i have those moments to reflect back on 

If you could bring anyone back from the dead who would it be? My first theatre teacher from high school... he passed away due to cancer around my sophomore year... he was really inspiring to me, i mean he’s kinda the reason why i stuck with that class and didn’t totally give up (thus resulting in me finding out that i love acting and that’s what i wanted to do with my life) 

If you could go back to any time period and live there for a week, which period would it be and why? GIVE ME THE 80′S OH MY GOD my mom grew up in the 80′s as a teenager so i always hear all the stories from her about what it was like and it seemed like ??? so cool ?? especially if you were a teen like what a dream ! give me my 80′s teen movie memories !!!

If you could visit any abandoned place to take pictures, where would it be?

Wow, this is actually a good question....... maybe like a retro arcade or art museum or amusement park ???? i feel like those could make for some Neat Photos (the aesthetic tho)

Do you have any particular, peculiar interests? Hmmmmm psychology interests me ?? i took a psychology class my junior year of high school and it was really fascinating, learning about human behavior and those stories of old psychology experiments (so Wild too like damn, i can’t believe they got away with so much shit back then)

Do you have a creepy/scary experience that has happened to you, and what was it? Not necessarily to me personally like, i’ve heard things before but idk to what extent that could mean so i never really looked Too Much into it bUT UHM i know my family has, especially in my childhood home (that place was straight up haunted like i swear) ALTHOUGHHHHH one night my mom was talking to us about something she saw in her room and all of a sudden a bunch of weird shit started going on in our apartment like our printer kept turning on and off and noises came from the kitchen like a cabinet shutting and things like that IT WAS CREEPY OK 

Do you like/read creepypasta stories? If so, what’s your favourite story? Don’t really have a favorite, but i have read creepypasta stories in the past before - they’re pretty intriguing ! (i’m a total wuss tho!!!! which is why i don’t read enough to have a personal favorite)

If you were in the Wars of the Roses, would you be a Lancastrian, or a Yorkist? Haven’t given this any thought before to decide so I DON’T KNOW !

What is your recurring nightmare? Don’t really have any ????? 

Have you ever had a lucid dream? Nah, because the moment i become aware i’m dreaming and i can do whatever i want, i wake up !!! it’s so frustrating lmao 

If you could go to another planet, which would it be? UHM i just really like the way Saturn looks lmao also Venus bc it sounds Nice but in terms of living conditions, i’m sure none of those are suitable  

What is your religion, if any? Don’t really have one !!!! (in the sense of actively practicing) although my mom is Jewish so i have always felt the most connected to that one 

Have you ever got so drunk, that you did something really embarrassing, and if so, what did you do? i’ve never gotten drunk before so lmao 

Mike, Dustin, Lucas, or Will? THIS IS ???? NOT FAIR ??? THEY’RE ALL MY SONS HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE JUST ONE but fine, i pick Mike just bc i feel the most related to him in the sense of personality traits 

Do you like Marina and the Diamonds? SURE ??? she’s got some good stuff 

Charli XCX? YAH SURE WHY NOT i like some of her stuff !!

Tag a blog that you’ve seen, and you love their posts, but have never told them, and would like to talk to them. @miliebobbybrown HER EDITS ARE ALWAYS SO ??? GOOD ???? her whole blog is total #goals just bc of how Nice everything is like wow i am,,, Intimidated but in the best way possible

Pick one thing you like/love from the 80s. The pop culture :^) (movies, music, fashion...... like wow, i just love it all so much)

What year were you born, and name something cool from that year. 1998 and Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets was published 

What was your blog name originally? (If you had another blog name) This one was originally lifeisdefinitelystrange (rip) 

Do you follow any blogs that you know the user in real life? KIND OF ?? I JUST MET @telekineticeggos FOR THE FIRST TIME IN REAL LIFE LAST NIGHT SO LMAO but we’re also planning on doing more things together in real life in the next few months so YEET 

If you are in the ST fandom, which is your favourite song off the ST soundtrack? Africa by Toto (duh), Atmosphere by Joy Division, Heroes by Peter Gabriel, and When It’s Cold I’d Like To Die by Moby (those last two songs were too emotionally impacting to not name) and from the score itself i LOVE KIDS THAT ONE IS SO GOOD TO ME LMAO but tbh i love the entire score and soundtrack ???? it’s so hard to pick just One Favorite

Finally, give your opinion on the person who tagged you! @finnxwheeler - YOUR WRITING NEVER FAILS TO AMAZE ME WOW ??? i’m always in tears over how flawless your fics are like Whiskey and Broken Hearts destroyed me my dude like oh my goddddd i love your characterization of Mike and Will in all your fics :’) one of my favorite byeler blogs ♡ (also you’re super cool in general like wow what a Neat Person)

@jewishstanuris - I LOVE TALKING TO YOU !!! you’re so nice to me and understanding when i take ten years to reply LMAO also your writing is also super good ??? you should do it more often tbh like i swear you don’t do it enough bc i remember only seeing a few things written by you on here in the fandom buT LIKE THEY WERE SO GOOD AND LIKE ???? DO MORE OF THAT MAYBE ??? another rlly good blog apart of the byeler ship ♡ :’) 

OK SO I’M GONNA TAG THESE GOOFS - @telekineticeggos, @dadharbour, @baileytsample, @elevenknope, @nessa007, @theamiableanachronism, @eggo-my-leggo, and @ghost-grantaire ♡ (obviously you don’t have to do it if you’re not interested or if you’ve done it already!)

[rinnnyxr]

-

Things I Love/Like:

Ice cream Swings Snow days Saturday mornings Star-gazing Small things that make your heart relaxed when you think about them Family Moments of realization that I’m not as alone as I too often think I am The ones who never give up on me Positive and creative people Funny people Trying new things Second chances

Kisses on my forehead Kisses in general Cats. Friends Rainy days Smoothies Warm towels Waking up early to see a sunrise Sunsets Beach air, the sound of crashing waves Childhood photos Watching people smile and get excited Watching shelter animals who are happy and loved Broadway musicals Disneyland Walking in a big city Fruits Hot cocoa Christmas feelings Long holiday weekends Getting together with friends Watching movies Laughing so hard that tears come out of the eyes Puffy white clouds in a blue sky Sunflowers Plane rides Bubble baths Bookstores Random acts of Kindness Sweet Coffee Sleeping Babies Smiles from strangers Family fun nights Tea parties Making people feel special Quotes Reading Make up Birthdays Candles Puppies Being Silly Cuddles in front of the fireplace Nap Time Blogging Carnivals

Things I hate:

Answering “no that’s not possible” when it really is Arriving at your destination realizing you forgot something Automatic flushing toilets Basketball Being early to the airport Being told “shh calm down” Dramatic/overly emotional girls Feminists Getting lost Girls with underwear lines Mexico Milk Morning breath Slutty girls Sweating Waking up before 7 am Abusers Bad breath Bad smells Being sick Boring music Bruises Cold days Commercials Greasy hair Headaches Not being able to think of anything to say People who think anyone who doesn’t use an apple computer is lame Racists Screaming children Screaming in general Sexists Slow internet connections Smoke A dirty house Being lied to Being made fun of behind my back That my new friends move away once i start to get “close” to them The words, “like,” and “uhm” Walking so fast all the time

Places I would like to go:

Croatia India Sweden Iraq France  Japan United Kingdom Canada Bangladesh Colombia Brazil Venezuela Serbia Nicaragua Mexico Poland  China (been) Lebanon Turkmenistan Uzbekistan Guatemala Hungary Australia (been) Chile South Africa Tajikistan Iceland Greece Hong Kong

Favorite celebrities:

Jay-Z Drake Beyoncé Lil Wayne Nicki Minaj Rihanna Eminem 50 Cent Madonna Gwen Stefani Taylor Swift Katy Perry Miley Cyrus Fergie Leonardo DiCaprio Jennifer Lopez Coco Chanel Kim Kardashian Vin Diesel Michael Jordan Zac Efron Cara Delevingne Selena Gomez Cameron Diaz

Things I want to do in my life:

Road trip Learn a new language Watch the sunset and sunrise in one night. Fly first class Throw a surprise party Eat vegetarian for a month Go skinny dipping Attend a beach bonfire Learn to make wine Spend Christmas in Europe  Party in Ibiza, Spain Study Spanish in Spain Go to Disneyworld Jump out of an airplane Go diving Take a long walk on a pink beach Learn self defense Visit Mexico Sleep in a treehouse Get a motorcycle license

-

[Family]

My brother’s name starts with D. Neither of my grandfathers are alive. I look more like my mother than my father. Both my parents are in a serious relationship. I am the youngest of three children. I am the only girl. My mom’s mom is NOT your typical grandmother. I don’t really like my cousins. I have less than five cousins. I’ve shown up at a family party while under the influence.

[Religion & Politics]

I was raised Christian. But I’m no longer a Christian. I believe in God. But I think the Bible is bullshit. My beliefs aren’t influenced by people around me. My dad is religious. My mom tries to be, but who is she trying to fool? I hate church. I wouldn’t have voted in the last election even if I was old enough. I hate politics more than anything.

[Food]

I honestly never stop eating. Chocolate + peanut butter = orgasmic. I only eat Cains mayonnaise. I’ve never eaten a fruit I didn’t like. I love cooked broccoli but not raw broccoli. I love raw peppers but not cooked peppers. I’ve gone a day or more without eating. I crave chocolate on my period. Pizza Hut has the best pizza around. Cookies & Cream ice cream is one of my favorites.

[Sex, Love & Relationships]

I’ve been told that I was a nine out of ten at giving head. A guy has cheated on his girlfriend with me. I’ve never been cheated on. I had my first kiss when I was fifteen. I lost my virginity in the woods. My best friend lost her virginity a week after me. In the same place I did. I’ve been in the same room as someone having sex. I would rather be on the bottom.

[Music]

I download my music from LimeWire. I love country. I love old school rap. I love alternative. I have All Time Low’s new CD Nothing Personal. And I love it. I love to sing, but I suck horribly at it. I cannot play a musical instrument. I want to learn to play the drums. I used to take piano lessons.

[School]

My GPA is between 2.0 and 3.0. I took Algebra 1 in 8th grade, and again in 9th. I’ve passed a class with a D-. I don’t do my homework at home. I prefer mechanical pencils. I always do projects the night before they’re due. I’m really smart but don’t always apply myself. I text in school. I’ve gotten my phone taken away in school.

[Beauty & Hygiene]

I straighten my hair often. On lazy days, I scrunch my hair to go out. My only make-up necessity is mascara. I like to wing my eyeliner. I’d rather take a shower than a bath. I’d rather use body wash than a bar of soap. I’d rather use a bath scrunchie than a washcloth. My solution for make-up on lazy days: sunglasses. I use the same routine every day in the shower.

[Smoking, Drinking & Drugs]

I smoke cigarettes. I’ve gotten drunk within the past month. I’ve smoked weed when by myself. The first time I got high was on a holiday. Marijuana should be legalized. I have never and would never drink and drive. I hate light beer. My lighter is purple. My favorite cigarettes are Turkish Silver or Camel Crush. I’ve quit smoking but started again.

[Random]

My nails are pink right now. Going to bed at midnight is very early for me. I could never date a guy that didn’t make me laugh. I have a jar of peanut butter in my room right now. I wear sunglasses a lot. Gogurt is really good in the freezer. I’ve been in Hollister, but I don’t own anything from there. Purple is my favorite color. There is no such thing as an ugly color. I need more pens.

-

I like where I’m at right now. My feet are freezing. I hate feeling awkward. I love driving on country roads. I love driving fast, too. I currently have a cold. I have a crush. No, it’s more than a crush. I always wondered what it’d be like to start over, where no one knew me. I go on Yahoo Answers. I get nostalgic every once in awhile. I really don’t like my father. My mother is one of my best friends though. I don’t mind when people stare at me. No, it’s annoying as fuck. I can’t stand people who are extremely selfish. A Change Of Pace is a good band. I have gotten a new phone within the past month. I want to go to Florida soon. Peach snapple iced tea is theee best. I wrote books when I was younger. I’m really creative, especially when I apply myself. I use Facebook a lot more than I used to. I’m constantly told I’m beautiful, but I still sometimes don’t believe it. One of my friends came out as gay this year. I feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t have someone. I’m way too quiet, and I wish I could change. I need to party. Music and books are my favorite. I love everything about the fall. I always smell really good. My hair looks nice today. I have long fingernails. I’ve kissed a Ryan, Mike, or Justin. I’ve been in love with a Josh, Christian, or Scott. I envy no one. I’m going to an amusement park soon. For a halloween-related thing. I don’t like beer. I don’t like soda. I’ve worn a turtle neck in the past year. I wear them often. Outspoken is something I’m not. I express myself through quotes and lyrics. Photography is beautiful. There’s beauty in everything, you just gotta find it. I ordered a pizza recently. Tonight, actually. I wish I could have a whole new batch of friends. Even though I do love the ones I have now. My nose is stuffy. I like orange juice. And sandwich wraps. I love cozy nights at home. I like playing Hebi. Apples to Apples is fun. I have to start applying for jobs. I really need one. Ahhh life is changing fast. I tend to drive a little bit over the speed limit.

My razor only has two blades. My keyboard is black. I use my friends as arm rests and pillows. My favorite number is odd. My favorite number is a single digit. I love having butterflies in my stomach. The last make up I wore was eyeliner. I’d love to have a winter wedding. I’m really ticklish. I have a facial piercing. I’d only get a tattoo that has significant meaning to me. My boyfriend is taller than I am. My school has a shitty football team. I play Pet Society on Facebook. All politicians are the same, in my opinion. I can’t eat sushi with a fork or else it feels awkward. I’ve never been to New Mexico. I’d definitely consider adoption if I couldn’t have my own children. I like plain-colored t-shirts. Horror movies don’t really scare me. I have a decent vocabulary. Lord of the Rings doesn’t appeal to me. I don’t play any sports. I prefer orange juice to apple juice. I like my toast with butter and jelly. I love cream cheese. I have a celebrity crush. I get frequent headaches. I can play a little piano. My boyfriend drives an Asian car. And so do I. I WANT MORE PIERCINGS. My favorite fruit is a type of berry. I miss somebody right now. Some of my friends live far away. I can burp out the alphabet. I love breadsticks. I can count to ten in at least two languages. I’d love to have a pet owl. I prefer dogs to cats. I only wear actual perfume on special occasions. But I wear body spray on a daily basis. I have pictures of my sibling/s on my phone.

[phobio2000]

Church Family

Last week I felt like I've nothing left to write about, just the same old stuff, reiterating until it becomes coherent and refined to the point that I felt like I can't possibly do any better. So on Sunday morning I drove to church, as usual, and on my way there, I thought about what to do next. There is just a sense of relief, like, I've spent years looking for answers and trying to figure things out, and then years more trying to write about it so people can learn about what I've learned and live happier lives, as well as not making the same mistakes I did, and perhaps ultimately, they may see that there is a God that loves them through and through, in spite of the cold, cruel, ruthless, and ugly nature of humanity that started off good, according to God's will and blessings, but just gradually went downward spiral when sin entered into the world. I wanted to help people see that, this world, its craziness, its people, the duality within us that desire both good and evil yet how evil ultimately dominates, and yet again through the love of God there is a path to freedom and salvation, is the most comprehensive and accurate model for the human condition according to the Bible, and I've covered it in great details, based on everything I've learned and experienced, and then, based on the same model, others can discover more truths and applications within their own little worlds, so that, ultimately, we can all protect ourselves, be wise, have a balanced perspective, and pursue after love and happiness and actually succeed and thrive at it, and then, ultimately, see that it is God who holds the key to all blessings and hope, the hope of our salvation, not just in the afterlife, but just as much in the here and now. I just felt like, after writing about "Up" and "Ready Player One", I've ran out of things to write about it, and I feel pretty good about it, but the anxious part of me was thinking about exploring the world of arts and perhaps write stories and create artworks that would make my life message pop. And this anxious attitude was how I walked into the church yesterday, but by the time the day ended, I walked away feeling very different. When church started, I just felt the Lord impressing upon me, that church is family, as I tweeted: Church should be like family. I felt the Lord really impressed this upon me yesterday morning while I was at church. The natural response is to push back and say that humanity is flawed and you can't be too naïve. It's true, but God pushed back and say that we are called to be leaders of this calling, that it is God's vision for his church. Well, I will be a leader, then. I believe in this church enough, there is enough good in it to pursue after it. Otherwise, in any typical circumstances and environments, it's more like a bunch of old stale Chinese fried doughs (老油條) chugging along week after week, and that's often the case even with real families, let alone church. I think deep down, that's my dream, too, all along, albeit a failed and broken one, but now I am with a group who is earnest and sincere about going that direction, But what is stopping us from being a family, church or real families alike? Thoughts started flowing into my head throughout the day. 1. The desire to out rank others a. Jesus's disciples were quarreling over who rank higher, and who gets to sit at the left and right hand of Jesus once he received his kingdom. But Jesus corrected them, that even though in this world you got kings and bosses that tell people what to do, but amongst you things must be different. Rather, whoever wants to be great among you, let him be the servant of all. b. Jesus had the mount of transfiguration experience, but he told the disciples who saw it not to tell anyone. Rather, towards the end of his ministry, he got on his hands and knees and washed the disciples feet, and commanded that they should make an effort to wash one another's feet, as well. Peter said to Jesus, "But how can I possibly let you wash my feet!" Jesus said, "Unless you let me wash your feet, you will have no relationship with me." And Peter replied, "Then don't just wash my feet, but other areas also." c. So, by the same logic, in order for a group of people to be like a family, mutual feet washing is essential, so much so, that it is impossible otherwise. d. This ranking issue, it pertains to livelihood, life's work, everything. It's very complicated. i. Let's say a person has a "mount of transfiguration" experience and somehow received a gift of preaching, healing, etc. Do you think others in the church would just let that person have a free pass? No. They'd be thinking along the line of what does this mean to them, their well being, stature, and future: 1) Can I profit out of it? 2) Can I somehow gain leverage over the person? 3) Is this a threat to me? Is there a conflict of interest? ii. And based on how a person responds to these questions and the course of action taken, things will likely go towards or away from the ideal of being a family. And often time, it'd be the wrong direction. iii. And do you think that the anointed individual would be any less innocent? He/she is thinking along the same line. Do you think that person is going to be like Jesus and just be hush hush about the whole thing? No way! Lol :D iv. And as a result of both sides acting incorrectly, you get a series of relationship chemistries going on that compounds on one another over time, to the point that things become more and more political, rather than more and more like family. And, sadly, if that's how things turn out, maybe it's far better to not have that "mount of transfiguration" experience to occur to begin with. 1) When I was a kid I saw a short clip of the movie "God Must be Crazy." It was a scene when this small airplane was flying over some village in Africa and this white guy threw out the window a Coca-Cola bottle. An African villager found it. He has never seen anything like it, and it turned out to be very useful for various things, plus it looks pretty. Eventually people started fighting over it and the villagers found out very quickly that it works great as a weapon, too. Hmm, I really should watch that movie lol :D. v. But what is the Biblical response? 1) John the Baptist said, concerning Jesus, when his ministry grows while even some of John's own disciples left to follow him, "He shall increase, and I shall decrease. The friend of the bridegroom rejoices over the groom, and his joy is full." 2) Jesus hush hushed about the Mount of Transfiguration experience and choose to wash the disciples feet instead. 3) As a result, Jesus said that John the Baptist is the greatest man that ever lived. Keep in mind that he performed no miracle, nor any great feat, like David or Solomon, yet he is the greatest man ever. 4) The Father greatly exalted Jesus, placing his name above all names, giving him all authorities in heaven and on earth. 5) "I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me. If I bear witness of myself, my witness is not true. There is another that beareth witness of me; and I know that the witness which he witnesseth of me is true." (John 5:30-32) 6) "My doctrine is not mine, but his that sent me. If ay man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself. He that speakers of himself seekers his own glory: but he that seeketh his glory that sent him, the same is true, and no unrighteousness is in him." (John 7:16-18) 7) I think the general message is that, don't worry so much about promoting yourself and compete with one another the way the heathens do in their worlds systems, but rather practice your faith by doing things differently, and then let the Father himself bear witness for you and promote you, for it is his responsibility. 2. There are probably many other things, but this was the only thing that the Lord has brought to mind, and it's probably the most crucial, root problem, thing. The Lord also spoke to me about worship music today. Well, where do I start? How about the roles of first and second generation pioneers? Say you have King David, who fought wars and established the kingdom, and then comes Solomon who brought along a lot of refinement type things, like the temple, palace, prosperity, sophistication in culture, etc. David brought us Psalms that deeply connects us to God, and then Solomon brought us Proverbs and Ecclesiastes, writings that dealt deeper into things, contemplating on deeper issues of life. Life often works this way, the first generation pioneer expanded the territories and established the kingdom, which is a great and wonderful feat, yet then only to serve as the foundation for the second generation pioneers who brought along depth of culture and sophistication. It's like the story of that doctor I wrote about before. When his daughter was about to attend college, she was thinking about graduating in five years, so she can explore different things and culture, and he was baffled, because when he was in college, he thought that for the same amount of money he could take as many classes as he wants, and he would try to load up as much as he could handle, and this is the difference between first and second generation pioneer ways of thinking. It's kind of like what Pastor Brian Houston said, that his ceiling is our floor, it pleases him greatly when we can take everything he has worked so hard for and offered to us for free, and then build on top of it even more beautiful and greater and more wonderful things, like what Solomon built on top of David's foundation. I think this's is kingdom culture in action, because Jesus also said to his disciples that they will do even greater things than what he did on earth, and I think, from the Book of Acts onward, that has proven to be the case, great miracles, great revivals, yet that is only in terms of magnitude, while the greatest will always be Jesus, who was like the seed that died in the ground so that he could bring life to so many. So like, sometimes I wonder, that perhaps some of the greatest people in history are actually ones that we have never heard of nor will ever learn about, who just choose to die like a seed in the ground in order for someone else to shine. Like Lewis Hamilton's dad, for example, who taught him everything, and without him there would be no Lewis Hamilton. So like, I suddenly started thinking, well, it was an afterthought of trying to make sense of something I felt, actually, as quirky things tend to hit me during worship sometimes. It's hard to describe what I felt, but I can try to explain it. Yo Yo Ma produced an album years ago called "Songs of Joy and Peace". Track 19 "Kuai Le" has no lyrics but has a person singing. "Kuai Le" means happiness in Chinese, and I think the song is meant to be felt and not listened. Because even though there's no lyrics, when you listen carefully it seems to describing a journey to happiness. It started out kind of solemn and sad and lonely, and then the singer starts moaning and groaning and sighing and the cello felt like inner contemplation over something sad, and then suddenly there's a change of tone, that the singer started to find courage to stand up, be strong, and move on, and then resoluted with happiness with the accompanying music resembling a march, and the cello started feeling like a bird soaring in the air freely, and then the tone of the music just start to feel happy and free and brings a smile to your face. So, is it possible to be second generation pioneers, building off our current platform, by adding these finer, deeper, and more sophisticated things? And suddenly I have a thought, that, being a first generation immigrant (or generation 1.5, came at a young age), what was I doing being so obsessed with second generation pioneering stuff my whole life? Dude, what was I thinking? But it was what the Lord placed in my heart…. So sad… but had to step out in faith when Jesus calls me to… :…(. Oh Jesus, please remember my faithfulness and make a way for me…., for I've given you everything I have without reservations nor thinking about myself! So I started worshipping differently… again… lol :D. Backtracking, I think that perhaps the whole rugby culture, raw strength thing, though very powerful, can be the baseline foundation to build on. Let's say, we can at least get that, then we can use our imaginations and apply our creativities and think about what else can worship be? And…, I sort of forgot what I did now lol :D. I went straight to watching Ant Man and the Wasp after the second service, and then just sort of chill and came back for the third service lol :D. But I remember it was really good and pioneering stuff lol :D. The morning sermon was the same one as last Sunday nights, but I loved hearing it over and over, as it packs so much power, just hammering the message into my heart so that it really sticks. I am actually looking forward to hearing this Sunday night's sermon two more times next Sunday morning, for the same reason. Our pastor is just awesome. I feel that there's so much more buried inside him and it's just a privilege to be pastored by this guy and attending this wonderful church. I am blessed, I feel God's love, I never once felt like the meeting was mundane and typical and always go home renewed and different and encouraged. Something different they started doing, is to invite people to go up front after the meeting to have people pray for them. I went up, just explaining how I've been praying for three things for a long time: job, bad neighbor harassment, and devil's accusation. Pastor Josh was such a nice person. I was really impressed when he prayed for me, so much attentions to the individuals, like he's interceding with the Holy Spirit as he prayed, and I felt so blessed and empowered afterward. He kept saying that I am favored in God's eyes, and that really stuck with me today. Coincidentally, something that Pastor Diego's preaching also stuck with me, that while we may be thinking that we are pursuing hard after God, the reality of the situation is, that God is actually the one pursuing hard after us, situating us where we are at just so that he can. It's strange, because, all the times before, I thought I am supposed to be like the way King David searching for the lost Ark of Covenant. According the Psalms, he wrote that he's not going to sleep nor eat until he finds it, so fervent and zealous. I lived my whole life like this, always wanting to give more, being afraid of not giving enough, always in fear of being rejected by God or deemed as not good enough, being counted out, left out, dismissed, which is pretty much how the whole world saw and treated me my whole life. So to have one pastor said God pursues hard after me and then another pastor said God sees me favorably in his eyes, it did wonders to my heart. It really set me free. On the way home, my mentality completely changed. After being prayed for I just felt like I just want to be a normal guy, having a normal job (nothing weird and crazy like all the ones I've had before), make whatever amount of money God wants me to make, come to my church home every Sunday, tithe, get involved, volunteer, pray for my church, and proceed life as a normal, blessed individual. It's amazing how on Saturday, Pastor Joel A'Bell said that we should not feel pressured to give more than 10%, that it is wrong for churches to pressure people into giving, which resulted in the nice ones feeling pressured to give even more than they already did while not necessarily do anything for those who have been withholding tithe offerings. That felt right and I felt relieved. It's not so much about how much or how little I give, but the feeling of just doing the right thing for the Lord and let that be the end of it, that sense of peace, rest, and freedom without anxiety and worry. Because, before, I've always felt like I needed to do more for the Lord in order to gain his favor and approval. This is just how it is with us humans, that our minds may know the truth but we may not necessarily feel it and then still be so blind and dumb and still not living in the truth, according to what we know. We are just dumb sheep, and it really takes the revelation and grace of the Lord to really reach us for real sometimes and truly let the truth set us free. I just got a feeling that, all those years of struggles before with jobs, it was not because God disapprove of me, or I was not good enough, but it was because he wants to teach me something, shape me into someone special that I would be happy with, and then, to lead me to see the truth about humanity and give me a life message that can help restore others. And, to my best knowledge, I think that season of my life is over. God wants to heal and restore me, as if I've never been bogged down or hurt before by all those things, and then he is going to heal me even of my life long anxiety about money, which started when I was just like a five year old boy or something when I saw my parents were worrying about money, that scene just stuck with me and I've wanted to help ever since, and it drove me mad how after all these years, all these efforts, I still couldn't help. It really made me lose hope in life, as this is something that has been instilled into me my whole life and it kills me to not being able to come through after all these years. But God is healing even that. And then, for me, to not have a good career is like how a woman would feel when she cannot conceive. Well, I have no idea how that feel, but I know that it is life and death stuff. I feel like my whole identity is tied to it, for whatever reason, it just means that much to me, and it pains me immensely that… well, I'm repeating myself lol :D. But today, something interesting happened, I just don't care anymore. I want to be with Jesus and do what he wants me to do, and that's the end of that. There's that verse in Proverbs that says "Do your outside works, make yourself fit in the field, and then afterward build your house." It sort of goes in that order, I think, that's the smoothest, most methodical way to go. Because, to me, as a man, I just don't have it in me to do what Pastor Brian did, to be married and then have a pregnant wife while still struggling to make ends meet and put food on the table. I don't know if it's the traditional Chinese within me, but personally speaking, that's a very shameful thing to me, although I have no problem with how other people choose to live their lives at all whatsoever, only compassion towards their struggles and a further affirmation for myself that I must try hard to be an adequate provider, when it comes my turn. And to me, I feel that, unless I have proven myself and established myself that way, I am second class, a dishonored man who ought to be ashamed of himself. It's like I have no right to talk to people as equals or be so preposterous as to asking a girl out when I know in my heart that I am uncertain about my financial future and have nothing adequate to offer her. I don't know how it works with other men, but this has just been something that I felt a deep conviction about my whole life, what's expected of me. But while I am still deeply instilled into this notion, at the same time, though, I am letting it go like never before, such that, just being with the Lord everyday and be happy is sufficient for me. Because, I did try my very best, and at my age, I think it's just time to accept the final verdict and the outcome, as is, whether I succeeded or failed, whatever, it is what it is. It's over, onward with the next season. And this morning I went hiking. I've been in a deep slump for the past several weeks, after that whole chain of rejections and disappointments with job searches. It was especially hard because I was trying to learn new things, doing things the Hillsong way. Pastor Brian said "Be expectant". Before, I would drop expectations and just do my best and let the result be whatever God allows it to be, so to find balance and soften the blows of disappointments, if things go that way. But since I'm going to Hillsong Church now, I need to learn to live the message. So each time I try my best to be expectant, and then get back up and try again and again and again, only to be met with the worst and most unexpected disappointments and discouragements I've ever faced in my career history. Each time I'd try to get back up and be expectant, while crying on the inside, because I am not a rugby player. I am a bamboo that moves with the wind, bend but not break. It really hurts! So last week, all I did was fast and pray. Well, actually, it has been sort of like that for the past several weeks. Towards the end of the week the Lord strengthened and restored me enough that I actually could get back out on the trail again, climbing up that mountain that was pretty challenging and scary just not that long ago, when I was not healthy, not in shape, and carrying chronic pain and old injuries that can easily be re-aggravated.. But God is good, I got back up and felt in my heart that God's love never fails. Where sins abound, grace abound even more. Today I not only felt the peace of God that surprises all understanding, but the empowerment of the Holy Spirit that directly pushes back the stabbing accusations that has been pinning me down all this time. Before, I said that it's like darkness I can almost physically feel, but today it's more like grace I can physically feel and touch, sort of. Where sin abounds, grace abounds even more. Amen. And on the way back to my car, I saw a yacht far away, and some fancy cars, and I just felt like they are traps. The society crams these values down our throats to make us unhappy and tempt us to become distant from God, and that we are to seek approval and acceptance by wasting our lives living miserably in pursuit of those things, as well as feeling miserable for not having enough of them. What for? What's the point? Isn't Jesus alone enough? He is for me. And I thought about these so called "friends". What are they, really? The truth is, that no matter what I say or do, good or bad, offensive or not, the bottom line is, they neither like me nor hate me, for at the end of the day, they are going to like whoever has money and hate whoever doesn't, so why should I care about their opinions and feelings? I'm reinvesting everything into God and my church family. Amen. And I'm just going to rest a little bit, and then go polish up that resume again, and see if there's anything I can improve upon, and then try and hit the job boards again, as a renewed and restored person, pursuit by God, favored by God. Praise the Lord. Amen.

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