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#you wanna meet them so bad
akashicpoint · 1 year
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FLOWER SUN AND RAIN Grasshopper Manufacturer 2001
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drawnfamiliarfaces · 6 months
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i... wrote a smol fic (っ´▽`*)っ
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also!!!!! If you haven't seen it - shoutout to first ever published fic in Ninja Showdown/My Immortal Soul tags - Lustrous Red by @missadmyre !!!
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hayaku14 · 2 months
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gymnast kaito x sharpshooter shinichi meet-cute in the olympics au
#kaishin#i can already hear my brain going BUT SOCCER PLAYER SHINICHI RAAAAAAHHHHH#but shapshooter shinichi tho cmoooon CMOOONN#yall have seen the olympic athletes yall have seen the flavor#i saw yeji and yusuf and im like OKAY SHINICHI SHARPSHOOTER#also gymnast kaito this is canon in my brain idc#i would love to see kaito's floor routine like pleaaaaaseeee#also that one epke zonderland london 2012 high bar routine but make it kuroba fucking kaito RAAAAHHH#also also in my mind shinichi would only wear glasses and he'd affectionately call it 'conan'#idk a whole lot about the olympics and either sports so im not confident enough to make hcs#thats why im just yapping here LOL#might binge watch some olympics related videos and articles later idk#yell some hcs for this au at me I'd love to know!!!!!!#dc prattles#ALSO FUN IF KAITO GREW UP IN PARIS AND HE'S REPRESENTING FRANCE WHEWWWW#but it's also fun if kaishin are both team jp and theyret meeting for the first time yippeeee#akai would be shinichi's coach maybe 🤔#also i looked it ip and apparently karate was removed from the official olympic games FUCK but WE DONT CARE BECAUSE#OLYMPIC ATHLETE BESTIES SONOSHINRAN MY BELOVED I WILL FIGHT FOR YOU#anyway sonoko in gymnastics ran in karate and sharpshooter shinichi WOW WOW WAIT MY BRAIN HAVING A MASSIVE ROT RIGHT NOW#oh you just know sonoko does all those tiktoks with a shy but excited ran and completely forced to participate shinichi LMAO#kaishin meet through sonoko ofc 👀👀👀#sonoko and kaito are besties too and are familiar with each other for both being in the gymnastics scene#anyway kaito and shinichi meet and kiss and fall in love#ALSO SHINICHI THIRSTING OVER KAITO'S MUSCLES LMAOOOO#AND KAITO THIRSTING OVER A FULLY CLOTHED SHINICHI POISED FOR A SHOT LIKEEEE#oh they wanna makeout real bad i fear#ALSO KAITO IS THAT ONE ATHLETE WHO KEEPS STEALING THE CHOCOLATE MUFFINS IN THE OLYMPIC VILLAGE LMFAOOOO#the tiktoks of that guy was so funny lol i just know kaito would do the same#you know what maybe I should've just typed this on the post and not on the tags but it's too late now LMAO i want more of them tho omg 😳
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rist-ix · 4 months
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https://www.tumblr.com/rist-ix/749015401700229120 not you reblogging this when you ship bloom with the man who murdered her family 😭
Bloom's into ppl who slay! Hope this helps :3
#alright snark and ship wars aside i get where you’re coming from tho#if you're genuinely interested in my thought process here i would love to elaborate#which is exactly what I’ll do!#first of all! the post you linked is about headcanons#which my brain kinda wants to put into a whole different category than ships — fandom ships in particular! — but i can leave that aside#because there IS an argument to be made that relationships are an extension of characterization and personality traits#if you wanna go that route i would wanna explain that Bloom's and/or Valtor's interest in the other is in fact based on canon#(even though I don’t really think ships need to be established in the source material. make shit up that’s what fandom is for#1) the Andros episode speaks for itself. Valtor specifically tells the Trix to back off because HE wants to be the one to fight bloom#2) the episode before that he asks questions about her (and only her; even though he has more powerful enemies to worry about)#demonstrating curiosity about and interest in her#3) that same episode (or the one before; can’t remember) is their infamous first meeting#where time LITERALLY slows down as the pass each other on the stairs#they get IMPACT FRAMES#the whole color palette changes!!!#idk about u but I eat that shit up. love the drama of it all no one does it like them#I’m gonna skip all the instances where Valtor is spying on Bloom through his little scrying spell because oh god who has the time#let’s go straight to Bloom#if I had a week I would not be able to collect all the moments where she growls his name in pure fury and single-minded determination#she gets a little bit obsessed with him over the course of the season and I personally think that’s very sexy of her#Bloom is known for her tunnel vision when it comes to her past and origins and Valtor's existence fits PERFECTLY into that#it ties in neatly with her overarching story of the past 2 seasons#literally PERFECT foils#which always makes for the juiciest stories#4) she singles him out for a duel in the museum episode#5) she can literally feel his presence#6) the mere mention of his name sends her into her weird faux enchantix#of course there’s no romance in canon but there’s TENSION AND CHEMISTRY which is all u really need for a ship#all their animosity and bad blood is what makes it so INTERESTING to wonder how they COULD work. it’s the spice that makes for good fanfic!
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kaylazer · 5 months
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back on my bullshit (meeting men im in love with). Ben Schwartz is so kind and tall :-) I didn’t totally freeze like when I met the Jonas brothers but the selfies we took are blurry so 😔
(at least I have these bc I told sam to record the whole thing heheheh)
#also the show was great#I had to slap sam many times bc she was choking from laughter#ben schwartz#bro how did i forget my personal tag for ben#ben schwartz my beloved#me#also forgot me tag#editing tags after the fact to recount the entire experience#so we waited outside for about 10 minutes and I had no expectation of how long it usually takes for him to come out and take pictures#he comes out without a mask which is surprising to me and says ‘you guys wanna take some pictures?’#we all just kinda form a non sensical blob (there’s maybe like 10 ppl total) around him#Brandon Katie and Eugene hang back towards the stage door unsure if anyone wants to chat with them#I’m gushing over how tall and handsome Ben is to my sister who is ready to record our interaction once he gets to me#as I listen to him chatting with the other fans I can’t help but smile and say to my sibling ‘he’s so sweet’ every minute#he meets someone who has a cool sketchbook of the skits from the show that he wants to take a picture of#but they need to write their handle so he says he’ll talk with some others and get back to them#so he does and then later I see the girl ready to talk to him again off to the side#so I tell her ‘you can go ahead and finish talking to him”’ and she’s like ‘are you sure?’ and I’m like duh!#finally it’s my turn and he looks at me and says ‘hi I’m Ben’#yes Benjamin Joseph Schwartz I know#he sees me holding my phone and immediately sides steps to get into selfie mode as I ask him if he’ll sign my Jean Ralphio figure#he steps back to Be in front of me ‘yes of course!’#what insane media training he has#he says ‘I’ve seen this! this is the first one I’ve ever signed’#upon seeing the figure he says ‘it’s beautiful’ lol#he’s concerned that the sharpie I brought will not show up and I mention that it was probably a bad one to bring because it’s pastel#he signs and holds it up (as you can see in the first photo) to make sure it’s visible#he hands it back to me and I thank him and he says ‘do you want to take a picture?’#and I say ‘I would love to!’ and then I hold the Jean Ralphio figure and he looks to my sibling assuming she’s taking the picture#she’s like ‘no I’m just here for moral support!’
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syxnewt · 1 month
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the ability to change fate... that's the power you were fighting to stop.
redraw of something i made at 14!!! wild how time passes
no effects vers and original under the cut
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dated august 3, 2020. so i was actually 13 but I don't feel like correcting it. basically 14
the little caption i put is the one i made for this in ibis paint lmao
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agirlinthegalaxy · 11 days
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It's been rolling around in my brain the last few days for some reason, but I still hate the family backstory reveals for Sophie and Eliot. I've seen some of the meta for it, but quite frankly, it still makes no sense. If it had been something actually thought of and intentional in the original, I think it could have been so fascinating. I mean, Sophie's willing abandonment of Astrid to contrast with Nate's loss of Sam or Eliot's adoption in contrast with Hardison's and Parker's? Could have been excellent! But they came out of nowhere in Redemption and don't work with these characters.
Sophie was still actively using the fucking alias that she met Astrid under! She met with someone from her past on the show! Like. Quite frankly, that one is unequivocally bullshit that they made up and threw in and pretended could fit with the established canon. (And I'm sorry, but the idea of Sophie abandoning Astrid and never telling Nate about her just... So much of Nate's trauma was rooted in the loss of Sam, and I think that introducing this element after he's gone and unable to respond to it taints Sophie and Nate's relationship in a way bc I'm not exactly sure how Nate would've responded to learning about this but I think that it's something he'd have needed to know. I don't know how to fully express my thoughts on that but yeah.)
As for Eliot, I don't like the adoption aspect literally at all. The way that he would interact with his family and the memory of his family would be different, and I think that it's flat out ridiculous to think that he'd have never mentioned it to the team in the original show, especially when dealing with the kid cases. (I also dislike the biracial adoption as its own element because if Eliot was actually raised by Black parents in the... idk what 80s/90s? That just. doesn't feel congruent with how they write Eliot interacting with PoC, not necessarily in a bad way, but babe, he's written like a white southern man raised in a specific kind of culture that does not jell with that. It also makes Eliot look... really bad that he was apparently raised with the knowledge of how fucked up the military was and his parents' history and made the choices that he did.) Like the show may not have explicitly stated it but the implication of that relationship was vastly fucking different throughout the original show.
Just. These were not backstories that were congruent with their depiction and characters in the original show, and they're also just moves that I don't particularly like or find interesting directions for those characters. There's also something to be said about how it was apparently unacceptable for a woman to not have kids or someone not reconciling with their biological family when that was something that the original show handled a lot better. Out of all the directions to take Sophie and Eliot's stories, that's just not really one that I think was a good idea.
#i'm not sure if i worded this v well tbh which concerns me#bc like. like i said i dont like the adoption plot anyways but part of my problem with that storyline IS that billy is black#bc i don't think that the way eliot is written makes sense if he was raised by a black couple during that decade#bc the way that he would have engaged with his family and community and the world around him would've been different#especially bc he was raised in the fucking south in the 80s#bc i dont think eliot was ever racist in the original show but i dont think that he really knew#how it was different for poc in certain ways that dont make sense if he was raised by a black couple#like the previous implications of his childhood and specifically his father were v much in the stereotypical v pro military be a man cultur#that culture is also v rooted in toxic masculinity and whiteness#God i hope that makes sense bc i feel like that sounds v bad#but i'd love more black characters on the show and i think that for pretty much any other mc that'd have been fine#it's specifically eliot with the space that he occupies that i feel like it's a problem with his backstory#which also is why i dont like that he's adopted at all bc that's an influential part in how you first view your place and family and all th#that i dont think makes sense with eliot's character. like literally nothing about that reveal really feels like it makes sense with eliot#and to move over to sophie for a second i feel like bringing up the abandoned stepdaughter would have been pretty damn important#when sophie was struggling with the idea of who she really was beneath the aliases and the grift#and especially when she's in a relationship with nate who WAS a father like#and that she used the charlotte alias to meet with someone from her past but there wasnt anything about the fallout#which still makes no fricking sense either way#also insert something about sophie being an older woman without kids#(i know there's the ot3 but they're not actually in a position as her kids bc theyre still equals in a sense)#and needing to actually go no no she was a mom! and then bailed and did all this and blah blah but she's always been a mom in her heart <3#and adding in this relationship as if an older woman cant be satisfied or complete without kids#and i know that ppl might bring up parker but like lbr parker is positioned in a v different space narratively than sophie#ofc parker doesn't have kids she's positioned in a space as the Odd one the kinda broken one#her defying the expectations narratively doesnt necessarily work the same bc of her place#idk i kinda hope these dont end up in the main tags bc idk how ppl will respond nor how well i actually got across my points#but i do wanna tag them for my blog so#leverage#sophie devereaux
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Okay friendo no more holding back ghost x Kate x price are very similar to bucky x Kate x Steve in my head in the way that Kate falls for them separately in very different ways. One of them is broody and deadly efficient and thinks he shouldn't be loved for all the damage he's done, prefers a mask to separate him and thinks the best thing he can do for the people he loves is to push them away. The other an authority figure with the weight of the squad and the world on his shoulders, a good man who makes mistakes and pushes himself and everyone around him past their limits in the name of good to the people of the world. Thoughts, questions, concerns? (In every and all scenario Kate realizes she likes people by going 'oh no they're HOT' and then jumps out a window to escape the situation)
SCREAMING SCREAMING SCREAMING I should NOT have checked my asks on the way to the time clock rip me. if up til this point you've holding back i am SO EXCITED for unhingedness to run free
the thing is. i don't think she would be surprised she's into Ghost. because that makes sense, he's this giant wall of a sniper, that's not a stretch. and she's always willing to give people a chance. she's also capable of laying him flat on his ass. So there's a level of safety he feels around her?
I think she'd be more self-aware of her feelings about Ghost. I also think he takes his shirt off and Kate is like FUCK he's HOT but she can deal with that she's fine but then he takes the mask off at some point and it's a double whammy of trust and oh NO he's BEAUTIFUL. And she CAN'T climb out a window after that because he'll think it's his face! And it is his face that's scaring her away but not for the reasons he would think!! She wants to escape her feelings so bad and she can't!!!!
She splits the difference by climbing on his shoulders, playing with his hair, and kissing the top of his head while he tries to make them tea. (is she basically petting him and calling him pretty boy? i mean. yeah.)
Price, however.
Kate would look at Price and go "I admire his leadership! I appreciate how he treats his team and goes to bat for them, etc! maybe it's not quite admiration. it feels a little different than normal!" because it's horny. that's the difference.
look. okay. here's the thing. i do not think she has dated people who allow her to realize she is a switch with a competence kink. and a little bit of an authority kink. price is one of like...three people i could see her getting a little subby for. And it wouldn't start out sexual, it would be in regular life. maybe it happens after some off-planet young avengers bullshit where someone tried to assassinate teddy and kate is just frazzled and on edge and her sleep is all fucked up.
Things get to be Too Much and he asks for 10 minutes where she doesn't decide anything, she just does what he tells her to. And it's such a display of trust!!! Price is fucking floored when she actually agrees to it. it's simple stuff, like sit on the couch and drink this bottle of water. Split this candy bar with Gaz. Take off your shoes. Close your eyes, take five deep breaths.
(yes i'm writing it)
all this to say, i think her attraction to price would completely blindside her. to the point where someone else has to point it out to her. Maybe not even seriously, maybe Soap or Gaz or Clint or Billy or Loki are like lol haha sure been staring at Price a lot! you got the hots for PRICE?!?! ha ha jk!! and Kate realizes she DOES. The next time they look over at her they see her vanishing through a window. or climbing in the ceiling.
I don't think she would know how to handle being into Price! She's awkward but not her normal brand of awkward. She's running into shit and not paying attention and pointedly not looking at Price, to the point where he's trying to figure out what he did to make her uncomfortable (did she realize he's attracted to her? FUCK.) And he either. Asks her to come to his office so he can figure out what's going on, or they get locked in a closet together by Ghost.
If he calls a meeting with her, it's so funny because they are both thinking the same thing (hot desk sex) and trying so sososo hard to NOT think about that so then they think about going down on the other in that nice desk chair which SHIT is also not helpful! Fuck! if you asked either of them what they discussed they could NOT tell you
Basically, Ghost is the only one with any damn clue here. He would introduce the idea of it slowly to Kate. Starts talking about Price when they're having sex. Encourages her to return a text while he's eating her out. Takes calls with Price while they're having sex. Slowly building up to Kate letting Ghost take pictures of her/them while or immediately after fucking. Eventually they do a video call. Price is going to break something. Ghost is like fucking FINALLY, he KNOWS they will be good for each other. And honestly two of the best people he knows that he trusts with his life being vulnerable around him? Praising him? Telling him he's good? He's not a fucking saint! Of course he has ulterior motives!! (Kate: your ulterior motives are wanting to be called a good boy? That's the least greedy least sinister thing I've ever heard. Stop thinking you're a bad person for doing this)
I ALSO don't think Kate can handle seeing Price clean shaven or even with his beard trimmed. Like yes he's attractive with his full on Price beard but he turns into a smokeshow the moment he starts to tighten it up. She has no behavior around him. She hates doing the obstacle course and her fastest least bitchy time was when Price was told to trim his beard by a higher up. Kate saw him and immediately went OH FUCK and BOLTS. also thinking about them having to go to ground together and of COURSE he has to shave, the beard is too memorable and they're trying to not be found, so kate offers to shave him! BECAUSE I AM A SLUT FOR THIS. she's sitting on a bathroom counter, shaving him with a straight razor, and price is so caught up in Being Pampered that it takes him a minute to ask kate WHY she has a straight razor???? and she's like oh! :) well obviously it's a weapon. haven't you seen sweeney todd? now, i've never killed anyone with a straight razor. i have stabbed some people. not with this one, don't worry! and price says "i don't think i want you this close to my neck anymore (he's fine. mark him down as scared and horny, that's all)
The thing is Kate's friends and teammates will see a picture of the task force to see her boyfriends and they'll be like "ok!! I can see it" and then Ghost and fucking Price walk in and they're like what the FUCK, why is it the TERRIFYING ones??? We thought it was going to be the cute ones!!! And then of course Kate is like the FUCK you say, are you saying my boyfriends aren't cute?? Ghost is SO RED under the balaclava. Price laughs until he has to stop Kate from lunging.
please say more to me about them, i am insane over them
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gojo-mochi · 8 months
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trans-cuchulainn · 4 months
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sunshades · 10 months
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One thing about canto VI is like. I see so many people predicting it'll be about Fighting Evil Wife or Breaking Codependent Toxic Relationship and I just kinda think that would suck? If the major theme isn't grief AND love and the way both are seen as like Kinda Weird/inappropriate in the setting of the city. Then I'll be very sad.
#bell.txt#not putting it in the tag i dont wanna spam but yes limbus posting yes girls will be thinking about mortal regret#LIKE. LIKE. remember the discourse on twt about how like it was bad writing that yi sang didnt mourn dongbaek etc#and like that was the thing right. thsts not a thing you do in the city. that was part of why roland (who takes lots after wh's themes)#was so exceptional. that is the whole thing about the sickness of the city#to say it in comedia literary criticism terms: sins are split between wrongly-directed love and excess of love with sloth (lack of love)#being an outlier. i think heatho and generally og wh is about excess of love and not wrongly-directed love. it is the thing that lasts#all the way to the other side. it is the shared coffin and meeting again in the next life#i think itd be AWFULLY disappointing to get some boring boring 'they make each other worse' take. being APART due to societal pressures#makes them worse and horribly lonely. death makes them worse baby. so in my mind thats it#we get to see cathy die or still be unreachable in some way and then in very roland style we get furioso mode#and then the ending is about recognizing the love that has in fact been there all along and carrying it with u. and hoping to reunite some#where some other time. NO more slander of that awful girl. YES to the comfort of the memories.#me typing over my foscolo notes like i can surely post about heathcliff really fast and not write a novel in the tags (unaware)#i have more thoughts about this in regards to ruina with xiao and some stuff from leviathan but in the meantime. listen to my ramblings boy#ALSO. considering that implication. he feels for her what queequeg feels for ishy. ARGHH. RIPPING MY HAIR OFF#ok actually its been enough hours to not spam ppl I'll tag it now for blog org. i should maybe have a tag for posting specifically#limbus company
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oh-meow-swirls · 5 months
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was looking through old posts and i'm surprised to see that i seemingly didn't have any commentary on anything in 3 in chapter 7, 8 or 9, the posts related to 3's story go from "my first reaction when i saw yopple-bot was 'i love you. but also you are definitely the boss for this chapter-'" to "i have been in hell all day. hell being bada-bing tower." funny to me cuz those chapters are like, the best ones sdfkljsdfjfsdkjlfsdjkl-
#puppy rambles#yo-kai watch#yw3#i love dukesville. yo-kai watch wild west. though also everyone in bbq talks like they're in the wild west-#i don't blame myself for not having any commentary on hazeltine mansion tbh. it sucks ass. i mean it's kind of fun but like#god is it annoying. i think using the mechanic of switching between nate and hailey for puzzles is a cool idea but. bad execution#very bad execution. it is so annoying#especially the section where you're in the basement and have to use the drill a bunch#... why are there prison cells in the basement anyways??????? i just realized how fucking weird that is-#i'm mostly just annoyed by the dining room puzzle tbh. i KNOW the fucking answers but verygoodsir is an ASSHOLE for some reason#and won't let me choose the FUCKING CORRECT DOORS#3's so fucking amazing tbh. i really wanna replay it soon. don't wanna have to delete a save file though#wish 3 had three save files like 1 and 2. i get why though i mean it's the biggest 3ds game klsfdjfskjfsdjksdf-#i wanna like. actually use my originyan for once. i might just end up using nyases ii instead tho fsdkljjdsfjskd-#i love every chapter in 3 after nate and hailey meet tbh. the bestie moments are so good#though also i don't think it was an amazing idea tbh. it means there's six main characters after that point#sometimes one character will go several cutscenes without talking at all. it's usually buck#he doesn't have any dialogue during any of the key quests in new yo-kai city. which is pretty amusing admittedly#i think the writers just forgot about him or something fslkdjdfslkjfsdljkdf-#i think my favorite thing related to that is like. during the stuff in bada-bing tower komasan and komajiro are there too#but they don't have any dialogue. which makes it seem kind of pointless#i get why they're there plot-wise but like. at that point you should either have them leave before you go to bada-bing tower#(esp since they don't end up in the ufo with everyone else. idr if there's a reason for that there probably isn't-)#(i think i slightly blocked out everything in bada-bing tower cuz it is so grueling)#or just. give them dialogue???#i love 3 and all but it definitely has some problems-#which is why i'm so excited to rewrite it <3 for both of those reasons. i can fix things. and also it's the best game#just. full-stop. not just the best yo-kai watch. i just think it's the best game ever#that title changes based on my current biggest hyperfixation though sfldfsjdkslfdjkfdj-#i think i'd say my overall top 5 is like. yo-kai watch 3. deltarune. ummmm. fantasy life is up there
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embodies · 20 days
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send me 💬, and i’ll use a line from a sentence meme i’ve reblogged to make a starter. @mayhemr.
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❛ so, what ? we just sit here with our thumbs up our ass ? ❜ his boldness comes out in flashes, like lightning splitting an unruly and otherwise placid sky. it can take people aback, the shock of an idle wallflower growing thorns, biting back. resilience comes with time, with loss. he's not stupid enough to believe he's the only one to have gone through it, recognises the battle scars in the man housing him. life leached from the eyes, stance guarded but weary, voice eroded and sandpaper - rough. doesn't quite wonder for the biker's plight, but understands it. ❛ these guys— they'll kill you all, y'know that ? whatever he's payin' you is like loose change to these freaks. an' if you've got happy family back home, they'll take that too. we've got to do something. ❜
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Hey people of tumblr I have an idea of a way to help support Gaza. This one's especially for people living in Christian areas with a lot of mainstream acceptance of israel. It's only a few days until Christmas and as for all Gazans, things are incredibly desperate for the small population of Christian Gazans. In particular here are some articles talking about fears all Christians in Gaza will be dead soon.
So how about we call up our local churches and ask what they're doing to help the people of Palestine?
The articles I've linked come from a variety of backgrounds. Some predate oct 7th. All focus on the plight of Christians in Palestine. Take your pick for what source you think will speak to your audience.
I want you to find a church that is ignoring the genocide or even praying for israel and then point out it's not just people being murdered. It's their people being murdered. Contact your local church like "Hey I'm Name, I'm not really a member of any church these days but it's Christmas and I really want to do something to help people in Palestine. I was wondering if you have something planned over Christmas? Maybe a prayer meeting or a protest or something idk 🥺" Then if you recieve any pushback switch to "oh but I'm just sooooo worried about our fellow Christians unable to celebrate Christmas".
It's a great place to ease people into caring about genocide who normally wouldn't. And if you convince a priest they might tell their whole congregation about how this christmas they have to show up for persecuted christians in jesus' birthplace. Worth a try?
#free palestine#free gaza#christmas#christians in gaza#i did not fact check the articles i linked i wanna be upfront about that#this is from a place of emotive headlines i assume ppl will barely skim bcus thats how ppl engage with me when i link them things#i skimmed the articles and i straight up dislike some of them!#some of them are from right wing backgrounds so ugh#some make such a point of bashing hamas and its like sure yes hamas have done some bad things too does this really need such focus rn#but i reckon some ppl will have a way easier time with their cognitive dissonance if you gave them that article rather than a more focused#also and this is obvious i am not an expert maybe my idea isnt that good pls school me if im an idiot#im not palestinian#im white and was raised christian and like i read the part where they said being mean was a sin and was like okay why are yall ignoring????#so basically this is coming from my background with christian cognitive dissonance and how what they say and what they do are very at odds#but if you learn to point that out using juuuuuuust the right lingo you can make them do better#they generally genuinely do want to be good they just Do Not See the same things i do#and like my autistic ass cant see what all the other kids at church saw so diversity ig#also heads up if you do this you have to be down to pray like a bunch with nice people on the phone or whatevs#the churches i rang arent having separate prayer meetings but did pray with me on the phone and like my relationship with religion is weird#but it was ~emotional~#anyway they are all already praying for palestine near me so thats something ig#i checked in on a church that kinda scared me out of the faith by being homophobic years ago and theyre already prayin#so like idk everyone in the world really is praying for gaza
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nomairuins · 3 months
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i literally likw felt sick hust now bc i thought abt gay people and ive just realized as i was about to hit post that this sounds homophobic. it was pure envy unfortunately
#i need to have a gay moment or im going to die in real life. guys its so hard#mfw i never leave the house and im extremely closed off and distant from people and i never talk to anybody and im a shutin: When will i#meet my love.#ITS NOT GONNA HAPPENNN MY LOVE WILL NOT MATERIALIZE INSIDE MY STUPID GARAGE. PUNCHES THE WALL#also you may think connor youre not closed off you literally yap constantly about every single thought in your head. Yes. but thats to you#guys as a whole so it doesnt count#one on one conversations im so scared im like acat hiding under a bed. genuinely shaking crying#BUT I DONT NOT LIKE ONE ON ONE CONVERSATIONS I MISS THEM BADLY. i used to talk to online friends Everyday. and ugh. obvioisly.#i just like. idk. i wanna make friends but i feel like im so bad at being a person that its wah too much work to befriend me#i dont mean that selfdeprecatingly i mean like. i need the other person to make the first moves always which sucks bc thats a bad thing to#expect of someone but if i ever made the first moves i. well i just couldnt my brain would shut down its a whole thing. connor doesnt speak#unless spoken to etc. and again ik i yap on here#but thats bc this is like my diary. dms or discord or whatever Is a conversation.......sigh#but ya. and with time i think id warm up and be able to initiate congersation and reciprocate properly but thats a long time to make someone#wait. bc i also when ppl do reach out i like. im like . like w my old coworkers we were i think friends but i was like Im the only one who#thinks that they dont actually like Me so whenever they talked id be like Theyre just doing tjis to be nice or out of pity#which is a rude thought to have abt someone inknow but its like. idk .. im nonsensical#but it takes me a while to like. actually understand somebody is trying to be friends bc im obtuse as fuck#and im like Well theyre saying hello to me and amiling whenever rhey see me just to be nice or possibly bc they hate me <- stupid guy on 🌎
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exopelagic · 4 months
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i said i wouldn’t do it this time but it’s 3am and mods asleep. boy
#welcome to another episode of Luke is insane abt hockey boy!#this time featuring a guy who is actually this time almost (ALMOST) confirmed to be queer#the almost is partly me being insane because I don’t trust anything anymore#but like. there are only so many reasons you wear pride converse. that is not ally behaviour#it just threw me this time I think bc I’d been like no. heterosexual. bc I think I became aware of him when he joined the real hockey team#because the OTHER problem is that the whole time I’d been thinking he was cute as hell (bc he is) and simultaneously being like no. bad.#anyway this meant that I have actually talked to him a bunch without overthinking it this term which honestly has been very cool#not like a whole lot but we’ve played together a decent amount and hopefully will keep doing that#and yesterday discovered hes recommending other people talk to me abt goalieing which is insane to me bc I am truly not that good#but apparently I made an impression!#anyway it does not help that this guy has gotten incredibly good at hockey in the past few months#idk man I make bad decisions (I say as if this was a decision) bc it is now the end of term once again <3#which means absolutely nothing can or will happen until after summer. which isn’t an issue#I’m just frustrated by my tendency to realise these things right before I’m about to not see the guy for X period of time#I also desperately need to stop crushing on hockey boys I swear but in my defence that is the main way I meet people#I think I’m cursed actually. that would explain many things#anyway he also has exams until next Tuesday which means he’ll be at hockey next week but idk abt this week which is devastating#i just wanna have talk to the guy more honestly to see how that goes bc we’ve not rlly talked individually for an extended time yknow.#in other words we have not had A Conversation it’s been groups or like quicker exchanges#he’s kinda quiet but i can’t quite tell which way yknow. I know he’s Watching basically all the time. and he is slightly awkward#which is also kinda cute. he gets a lil rambly when he talks abt hockey and I wanna push that button more#i. topsy if you’re reading this you’re gonna laugh so hard I just realised. he’s captain of the team now.#which sidenote is INSANE bc he started playing with them THIS YEAR#but oh my god. okay.#anyway. I need to start complimenting guys more for multiple reasons but also#1. he dresses very cool 2. he caught me looking at his shirt last week without saying anything (BEFORE I caught the rainbow converse)#i compliment women on their clothes and jewellery and hair and shit all the time but I do not with men bc. I mean do I need to explain.#but ​this is so unfair I am haunted by existence of boy and here we are once again. posting on tumblr with the possibility of seeing him lik#two more times before summer. might be three or four depending on what he comes to#luke.txt
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