#you'll understand why when you see it

[lilflowerpot]

This is the anon that asked for funerary stuff, thank you!! And as for how I got here... I actually don't remember much of it (what am I, an amnesiac protagonist?) but I think, I think one of the people on my dash reblogged a post about VLD, I followed the trail bc I was supremely bored that day, and then one thing led to another and I stumbled upon one of your worldbuilding posts to which I went, “...fucking fantastic” and fell down a rabbit hole. I'm somewhat of a worldbuilding nut myself, though I tend to focus more on the cultural stuff than the sciency stuff, and you tackle both of them and I just couldn't help but be deeply riveted! Sci-fi or any sciency stuff isn't my specialty, and I'm not one to turn down a learning opportunity. So that's how I came to follow and read your notes, LOL. I'll get to Little Blade soon, vacations coming up after exams! When I finally read LB, may I ramble my reactions to you in your ask inbox?

[original]

That is honestly the most valid explanation, and one I can d e e p l y relate to lmao; intriguing worldbuilding can draw me in to just about anything!

Believe it or not, sciency stuff is also very much not my forte, and more often than not it's the asks I receive that prompt me to sit here like "shit,,, that's //such a good question// I guess it's time for me to buckle down and read up on this niche subject for the sole sake of fleshing out my entirely-too-long voltron au" asdjvghsvdvasfak it's a Legitimate Problem™ actually, but I'm in too deep ¯\_(-∧-;)_/¯

You may ofc ramble in my askbox as much as you'd like! Some people prefer to do so here rather than Ao3, but no matter the platform I'm never going to turn away someone's thoughts on my writing—I do hope you enjoy it!

[rogueshadeaux]

“I hate the script, the vault dwellers sound so cheesy—“ my Brother in Steel you realize that’s the point, right? They were bred to act like the physical embodiment of an HR e-mail. Did you not catch the memo that Vault-Tec put out regarding their experiment facilities?

[wispforever]

[tinystepsforward]

ngl it makes me want to die a little bit that it's so often trans people who feel that sex is mutable but oppression is always-forever based on asab in ways that allow them to demand that information from other trans people. like it feels fucking bad. it feels bad when it's people holding up someone who posts a lot of selfies as transition goals to a degree they have to clarify what they have or haven't done or what "direction" they're going in, it feels worse when people are out there like "caster semenya is not tma" or whatever the fuck. i am, as always, not a trans woman, but here's a sentiment echoed by many of the trans women around me who log the fuck off, quoted directly from one: "people who draw a clear line where they say that semenya or khelif are tme and then call me tma are just calling me male at this point".

like i get it. i really do. we seek community and shared experiences, and we feel betrayed when people have less in common with us than we thought they did. [*more on this later.] but that's not those people's faults and my god in the case i'm seeing play out on twitter rn this poor person did absolutely nothing to intentionally mislead people, just posted pictures of their actual kid self. who looks a lot like i did, because shockingly enough "we can always tell" doesn't fucking work for trans people either!

on the one hand i move in intersex circles which are unapologetically welcoming in cis "dyadic" people with pcos, because it serves nobody to draw a clear line where mutilation or genetics or some ineffable childhood suffering are what make somebody intersex, especially when most of us (esp in places like nz) have never been karyotyped and are being treated for symptoms without a pinned-down cause anyway. the more of us there are the stronger we are, the more pressure we can exert on a medical profession which doesn't like to consider how common outliers are, how uneasy sex is at all. and then on the other hand there's dyadic trans people on the internet who've yelled me out of spaces because a couple of traumatised incarcerated trans women i worked with as a prison abolitionist assumed i was also a trans woman and i didn't immediately tell them my entire csa-involved history of being sexed in varying ways as an infant and child and/or exactly how big my phallus was at birth or where in my junk config my urethra lives so they could decide i was tme or whatever.

returning to the * for a related but not identical thought: i think presuming shared experiences leads to some fucked shit in general! "oh we all had a radfem phase" or "oh we all were channers" no we fucking weren't and it's particularly obnoxious when me & mine are trying to build trans community locally to organise and resist the growing wave of far-right backlash against our existence, and there's just white people in there on a spectrum from "straight up being antisemitic and trying to get the n-word pass" through "handwringing about how they need to make space for people who aren't politically correct" to "handwringing about how brown people are right to be mad at them but doing shit fuckall". and then the other fucking brown people in the space are on some identity politics shit where they're like "trans joy inherently excludes those of us who could get deported" or "big city white queers are killing us by being visible instead of going stealth bc it stirs up the discourse" or whatever the fuck i've heard pulled out this year. there's a bunch of reasons i primarily organise outside of trans spaces and that's one of them. i've never felt more alone in spaces where people claim we're all the same than being left as the brownest moderator or organiser in a space full of people to whom "this is a safe trans space" apparently means they get to abdicate all other responsibilities not to lapse into presumed shared patterns that are fucking racist or otherwise alienating. i've never felt more alone than surrounded by exclusively trans people who sort people into boxes and assume everyone in those boxes has the transition goals they have. like i was on cypro until it disagreed with me to the point of endocrine crisis and now i'm on t and at both those points people were so fucking presumptive or entitled to my reasons or journey or personal relationship w my body

literally just submitted on (and was invited to consult on) the nz law commission's review of the human rights act and like. it's straight up fucked how many nz trans people fully do not comprehend that any "sex assigned at birth" type definitions fundamentally exclude migrants who have no way of proving it and many intersex people who happen to have been reassigned later or many times or never assigned at all as a baby. we can't make law with this shit and that's why we have to have symmetrical protections for all genders/sexes/expressions/presentations, bc naming and defining a protected class here often leaves the people who already are left out from those shared experiences of marginalisation out in the cold when they face violence

[frostbeees]

CBJ @ EDM (postgame) · 01.23.24

[inevitablesurrender]

As I quietly switch the number for "times this year's chocobo has drawn blood during the making process" from 1 to 2...

[aromantic-karamatsu]

Yeah thing abt anxiety is you actually literally do have to grab your brain sometimes and go "Are you actually in danger?! Is this problem something we can actually fix now or is it a situation that is out of our control and therefore worrying about it actually does nothing?! Huh?!" And then force yourself to realize what situations your anxiety is ACTUALLY helpful and how to let go in situations where it isnt

Unfortunately this is not a skill that you get with a snap of your fingers, you literally have to TEACH yourself how to do it and it's painful.

Even more unfortunately rational people sitting outside of your anxiety are NOT AWARE that this is a literal skill you were basically born without and just tell you "calm down" without understanding YOU DON'T HAVE THE TOOLS TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT. If someone who was super good at weight lifting told me, a beginner at weights, to just "pick up a 50 pound dumbbell" I'D DIE, because I haven't trained to do that! I quite literally don't have the muscle or knowledge on proper techniques to do that without hurting myself, physically or emotionally!!!

So yes, sometimes you DO have to take the high road and just tell yourself "I do NOT need to worry about this" even though it feels stupid and useless because you still worry, but you also have to forgive yourself and understand you are learning! It won't be easy the first few times, and even when you get more used to self soothing and emotional regulation sometimes it's not linear and it's like your first day of lifting weights all over again!

I just think we as a society do need to understand that anxious disorders are both something we (anxious people) can NOT control without effort and therapy and that we (anxious people) need to realize sometimes we DO have to put in painful, uncomfortable work to manage it! It sucks but thats life, and it can get easier with the right support and whatever treatment looks like for you!

[orchideae]

In today's episode of 'Sae, do you (...)': the topic of Ningguang and Yelan, and I thought that I should note my opinion more clearly outside of my rules as it's very important information for my portrayal: I do not ship Ningguang and Yelan romantically.

Honestly, while this is of course my own opinion, I don't find that there's anything to really substantiate a romantic interest between the two. For starters, I don't think that Ning, as interesting of a character as she is with a past that might just be similar in its 'rise' to Yelan's (we're left with very little information on the latter's childhood), ticks the right kind of boxes for her, though to be fair: not many do. Yelan craves a specific sort of thrill in her life, I mean she lives it at the roll of a dice because she is, on some level, bored, and craves the unexpected, the unusual, the 'surprise', and Ningguang's life nor personality seem to play into that. Beyond it, Yelan would need a kinship within this very specific 'loneliness' that I talk about too often and I think that Ning is not one who quite meshes into that in the right way.

Second, despite their long-standing history that even predates their mutual involvement with the Qixing, there seems to be a certain professional distance between the two that I'm quite fond of that is shown in brief event cutscenes, and also Yelan's vision story, that I find inherently intriguing. Perhaps this distance plays more into Yelan's character of not investing too heavily, or rather not too easily, into social dynamics than it does Ning's (I'm not one to weigh in on her character), but it seems evident to me that there's also that semblance of professionalism that creates a line that takes away the possibility of growing closer on an emotional level. And whether that's a mutual decision or not is not up to me to judge, but I think it's one that's made rather clearly from Yelan's side. On top of that, Yelan is Yelan and it's my personal belief that shipping her is rather difficult.

Now I'm also inherently of the opinion (unpopular, I know, I apologize) that dynamics aren't always more interesting when written in romantic settings, and I don't think it's a benefit for all of them to veer into a romantic nature. And in my opinion (and most importantly: in my depiction and understanding of Yelan's character), I think that having Ning and Yelan cross the line from professionalism into something inherently more rooted in romanticism, would be a detriment to their dynamic. Because honestly, I think the fact that Ningguang being one of two people (other being Uncle Tian) to know Yelan best, without ever crossing that line, is too good. I would simply, well, just prefer to keep that not only platonic, but professional, but of course not excluding it of Yelan's quips, and the occasional 'confidant' element.

/rambles in tags because I feel like I have more to say that I shouldn't flood the post with.

[pyrriax]

ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏

[loverboybrightsideghost]

i think i understand dating now. you find a person that seems cool and you become their friend but in a romantic way until you. actually love them. yes?

[lgbtlunaverse]

There's a few "league gets adopted by Rei / Rei takes care of the league" fics out there and I love them dearly even if i have to admit that they're all quite unrealistic, mainly because they tend to paint Rei as a better parent than she actually is. Sort of what happens to aizawa in fanon, too, completely accepting and eternally affectionate. The "comfort" in hurt/comfort personified. I get why this happens, it hits like a truck watching people who were denied parental affection finally get it.

But, as always, with fanon tropes, there is a part of me that's melancholic for all the potential that gets left behind. Because there's a kernel of truth in these fics that i'm sad isn't highlighted enough, there's something that could draw rei to the league outside of one of them being her literal thought-to-be-dead son or some nebulous perfect motherly instinct. And that truth is: Rei is not an amazing parent. Her faults are mostly of inaction, and the whole thing with Shouto was due to the abuse she suffers herself. But she has- and she knows this- failed her childen as a mother.

And what that gives you is a woman with a deep massive guilt over failing to be there for her kids when they needed her. She believes one of them died and it was, in part, her fault. Shouto she can reconcile with, but Touya, she thinks, will be a wound that never heals. And why wouldn't you, as a fic writer, use that?

What i'm saying is, if you were to- in the right circumstances- throw a traumatized child also failed by their parents her way. (Perhaps, say... a child rejected by her parents explicitly because of her quirk, wink wink?) And it reminded her just of how much she herself had failed as a mother, specifically because she was too scared to do anything, then she would absolutely want to take care of that child. She just wouldn't be all that good at it. Really, she'd be terrified to even try. But she'd want to try. And wouldn't that make for a story worth telling, one that could be just as cathartic in the end as the 'perfect mom takes care of her new murder children' fics?

[lavenderpanic]

headcanon: steve listens to "you belong with me" while bucky is with rumlow

[faceglitchsworld]

I thought about the most hurtful comments I heard in my life, and I came to the conclusion that, to this day, the most hurtful ones are always about my body (and in general how I eat badly apparently even if I avoid all the junk food possible) and how I'll end up alone.

And the one who always told me these words has always been my mum...

Yikes 😬

[loverboydotcom]

pantsing has to be my least fave writing term ever WHY is that the popular term for "writing without an outline". it literally tells you NOTHING about what that kind of writing process entails !!! no wonder some writers and self proclaimed teachers of writing have such an obtuse take on "plotting" vs "pantsing"

[venterry]

lore..... miss you my everything girl

[babacontainsmultitudes]

lilac, raspberry, charcoal and steel 🖤

💜 Omg hi London!!! 🥰💜 Color me fucking flattered. I love that y'all are picking raspberry... Waddya say we make a playlist hm? "Absolute bangers to kill god to"?