#you've missed the whole fucking point of that plot beat if you do

[antianakin]

I swear, I'm going to need to get "Obi-Wan put himself on probation in order to prove his commitment to the Jedi and take responsibility for the impact of his own choices" on my body somewhere at this point. Please, please, get this pervasive idea that the probation was FORCED upon Obi-Wan the fuck out of fandom, it ruins the ENTIRE POINT of the whole arc of the first seven books of that series. The choice to put himself on probation is literally the conclusion of Obi-Wan's growth and development. He takes responsibility for his own actions and the unintended harm they've caused, he chooses to accept the uncertainty of his own fate in a way he couldn't do before and this allows him to let go of his fear of that uncertainty that was holding him back in many ways and causing a lot of his issues with anger, and it proves his loyalty to the Jedi Order above all else as something he is choosing because he truly believes it is the right path for him and not just because it's all that he knows. The choice to put himself on probation is SO SO IMPORTANT to Obi-Wan's character arc in this series and EVERYONE MISSES IT TO MAKE HIM SOME UWU SAD BOY INSTEAD.

[johannestevans]

watching a school drama i grew up with and it's cracking me up because they're doing this whole """romance""" plot between this 17 or 18yo a-level lad and his spanish teacher

and she keeps panicking being like "make sure you delete texts from me!!!" and "don't come to mine wearing your school uniform!!!"

this student beat the shit out of a DIFFERENT teacher last season bc he found out that he'd fucked a student in his class - he did it once on a one nightstand, not realising she was that young or that she was gonna be his student, and subsequently refused all her advances

which like? is very bad?

but fhsjgjghgs god.

they first had sex and he was like, "well, how would you rate me?"

"mmm, 9/10?"

and he went, "ooh, 9/10! not bad for a first timer!"

and she bugged out with her eyes big as dinner plates like WHAT??? YOU'VE NEVER HAD SEX BEFORE? aaaaah!

like yes, Miss Nonce vs Predator, that's what happens when you groom and fuck a teenager

and just now he's like "I bet we're gonna have really good-looking children" and she's like "(happy sigh) this just feels so right"

fhskjgdjkjgh

"they won't understand! they won't understand what you and I have together! they'll think I took advantage of you!"

oh my god. will people misinterpret it, do you think? will they misinterpret your intentions when you GROOMED and FUCKED one of your STUDENTS, a TEENAGER?

anyway the point of this post is that i actually think it's so funny that they're trying so hard to present this as a forbidden romance because she's a woman paedophile grooming a young lad, which was a contemporary issue for the time because like... when i was at school - while this show was airing - one of our substitute teachers was herself a nonce, and she later got struck off for it after getting caught at another school

anyway. she's pregnant. lmfao

[ghostlyhamburger]

Husband Watches Miraculous: NY Special

[does this one have an actual name idk]

OK this is definitely after season 3 because of the box.

Why did they do a Marvel version of the theme? you can't tell me that's not inspired by Marvel.

Okay so they store the powerups inside the thing?

They really tried to go all out with the updated animations didn't they?

Her hair is actually black this time! it looks really good.

Okay that's the first thing that I saw that's super out of character.

Some of these things are textured really well but some are just not. Look you can see texture on her clothes, on the bricks, on the ground, and then BRIGHT GREEN TRASH CAN. It just makes no sense.

This is gonna be a long hour.

Why did they increase Marinette's bust size?

What the fuck was with the way that beard was moving? It's like they didn't want to move the anchor point on the bottom. They anchored it to his shirt is how they modeled it.

Why do they keep changing Marinette's hair color? Why is it darker in the school lighting?

I think I know why this seems so hard to place in the timeline. Its production seems to start at the beginning of season 3 but they definitely got the bible. So they just didn't see all the development Marinette had in getting over her obsession with Adrien over the season.

This whole little bit about Marinette's obsession doesn't need to be here if you've seen the series. Its purpose is only for those who haven't seen the series, which is unneeded because who's gonna watch just for this? It's not a movie. if I skipped the next fifteen seconds nothing would be missed.

When has New York ever been considered romantic? I guess if they watch a lot of American Hallmark movies? But New York is dirtier and dingier than Paris.

They actually made Gabriel look good in this. Like I get how he's supposed to be a silver fox type. He's got a bit too much Justin Bieber face for me, but the hair works for him. I can see how he'd become a celebrity in Paris.

"I'll be keeping an eye on him." If Adrien was a sentimonster under his control, he wouldn't need to keep an eye on him. He could just keep track of him with the miraculous. Like, Mayura was able to track Feast.

Also why is Nathalie in the bed? didn't they fix the peacock? Oh wait she was still super weak and life force isn't easy to regenerate once it's been drained like that.

Oh they've got best girl here.

I think I already see where the entire plot of this special is going. She's gonna be upset at Chat because he's not gonna be there when a sentimonster attacks and she's gonna be upset and debate giving up her miraculous because that's been the theme of the episodes lately and the American heroes are going to somehow be bitches.

[We're only 10 minutes in.]

Gorilla doesn't like planes.

All right so it's not going to work because it's not a sentimonster alert.

How is the eagle going to help you beat Ladybug and Chat?

Marinette, just know when to stop talking, please.

Again, a nice little moment that would be really good.

5 seconds on the plane and she's basically assaulted someone.

Nice use of symmetry and mirroring each other.

Marinette is not having a good day.

Why did they give her such an ass in that shot?

That's actually a pretty good moment.

No. Alya no.

I do like how they call out their weird animation quirks of like. Marinette arms. It's fun.

A convict with a jet engine?

So normal magical and villain type things exist already.

Okay that is just Superman. That's just Superman outfit and Superman theme.

Another thing I don't like is all the infodump. There's a better way they could've introduced Uncanny Valley than Alya's random exposition. She was answering the question of the audience without being prompted to. And it throws me off.

"It's time to show these American heroes how French heroes do it!" NO. NO.

He's not a superhero. That was his entire bit. Also what's he gonna do, endanger everyone by opening up the emergency hatch? You have no superpowers, you have no gadgets, what possibly are you going to do here?

As an introduction, I like this.

It's like they wanted three teachers, one to be nice, one to be crazy, one to be strict, and then they shoved two of them into one character. It doesn't work.

Hot Dog Dan? So he's ... a hot dog vendor?

All right, the dancing is a cute little callback.

Okay I like the new animation style, the very American comic book. but can no one just leave Marinette and Adrien alone? Let them just be awkward together!

Can we get to the catastrophic failure that will lead into the less lovey-dovey shit?

So they're trying to say Lafayette was a holder?

Is that one of the self driving Tsurugi cars?

Wait we've seen the akuma butterflies phase. Why is there no consistency in the rules?

"There's artifacts left by people who unveiled the statue" So there's a miracle box there, right?

Solitude is just Mr. Pigeon!

Doc Ock. Huh. With replication abilities.

Door powers are actually pretty cool.

Now it's finally getting good! Can always count on Hawkmoth to interfere in the right way.

So why is Hawkmoth going after the sabre when the claw thing is very clearly the Miraculous?

Ahh. That's why.

They're still being quite efficient even though they're pissed at each other.

[Aeon is cataclysmed] You have a miracle bomb! It can literally reset people!

That is the smart decision. They don't know each other's identities. Also the American heroes don't have the authority to do that!

I dunno I feel like the reset should have gone through to the other area. When villains have changed in the middle of the episode the reset still works. And when there was the copycat Ladybug she used that one's lucky charm to do a reset bomb. So I call bullshit on that. Also I don't think Paris is still destroyed when we come back to it. So...

"If Uncanny Valley hadn't been a robot I would've caused irreparable harm." Except people have literally died, disintegrated into nothing, converted into energy, and brought back with no issues. So no, it's not irreparable harm. And this is so heavy handed!

The emotional flip flopping here is not great.

[hearing Liiri's ability] That's an incredibly busted ability. Her power is literally limit break.

Why are they having this argument right next to the French students? That just seems stupid.

Let's just steal a bike! oh, safety first

"Adrien I love you" Okay that's just cruel to the people who were watching this.

Yep that's actually what I was expecting.

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY GUNS? Oh right America.

I really like Jess and Aeon's characterization.

Okay I like the skateboard.

This should've just been a movie. It would've been better with time to do all the stuff going on.

Okay that's a neat little trick.

Why does this one hour episode have more musical types than the entirety of the game that came out?

[Ladybug hugs Chat] Okay that was a really cute moment.

Oh is he just gonna launch nukes at everything?

Trading cards, really?

Yeah see Paris is repaired already

"At least let me see what's inside the safe!" It's a miracle box. it's gotta be, right?

I like [Eagle's] outfit.

Was she gonna toss a piano at a pigeon? [Haven't you wanted to do that?] Yeah...

To the sun? To the sun.

Throwing things to the sun is also a Superman reference.

Why do you need more Miraculous? You only need two, and they're not going to help you, you don't have anyone to give them to!

Paris was not like that when they were visiting.

Okay. This should've just been a three part special episode. It tried to shove so much in so little timeframe and over half the thing was just pointless grandstanding about the stupid will they won't they. And I bet that while people loved that Adrien I love you moment, he couldn't fucking hear it and that's the only thing we're gonna get 'cause fuck these producers.

If the pacing was the same throughout, it would've been really good, but it came out of nowhere to the point where they turned up the speed of people speaking to fit it in. A lot of things got super rushed through and I really wanted to see more of it but I know I'm never going to because the producer of Zag sucks!

[the-fandom-hopping-mage]

thoughts on the doctor who special

so this list got way too long i guess i think a lot while watching things

oh the bright side my irl friends haven't gotten spammed with 80 million messages, just the internet people :) :)

read at your own risk

david tennant! !!!!!!!!!!

what's he doing in space why are they talking to us this is so stupid i love it sm

lol the first thing they do is give him like three sequential heart attacks LEAVE HIM ALONE HE ONLY HAS TWO

wow rose is pretty

donna i'm pretty sure you have supernatural abilities at this point, how the hell do you miss everything

donna why would you give away the money (i know exactly why you gave away the money it's perfectly in character for you but also WHY)

oh no where's wilfred

go off donna beat those kids' ass

these kids are thinking they're the main characters in a sci fi show (don't tell them) they're gonna get themselves killed

girliepop that is a strange creature and you (collective) have had multiple invasions in the last twenty years don't trust it just because it's got big eyes you will get killed

both roses have trusted a creature that they probably shouldn't have just because it acted like a victim. like I can't be mad because I means they have Compassion and other nice things but cmon. common sense. please. im literally begging u.

woah did thirteen upgrade the screwdriver (i need to catch up with the other doctors after 10) thats cool

so they know all the doctor's regenerations cause timey wimey stuff

14 over here trauma dumping on this random ginger lady with cool hair

"best friend in the whole wide universe i absolutely love her" that is the sweetest thing i have ever heard

woah it's the time vortex

wait why does the time vortex have arms now

when your wheelchair saves your life

they're covering their eyes like the sun episode is it the creepy vaporization light???

i Do Not Trust the meep

"he's so cute" finally someone with common sense who also doesn't trust the meep

turn around Shawn trust me your life will be so much simpler if you turn around right now

"ferret"? omg it's draco malfoy

who is Nerys what did she do i'm so intrigued now spill the tea sis

no not wilfred :(

yay wilfred

smh doctor you are a disaster magnet

OMG HE CAN RESONATE CONCRETE :D :D :D

your poor neighbors? y'all's just gonna break into their homes? aren't the aliens gonna follow you? into other people's homes? who's gonna fix the walls? why are the houses touching is this a uk thing?? also that's not how bricks work but who even questions anything in this show there's a giant furbie and bug aliens dueling it out imma just roll with it

donna's mum is so done with the doctor's shit i'm so sorry ma'am

once again, nobody's gonna question the B&E you've got going on? no one?

ooh that's a nice door

are we completely sure he can drive a car? i mean look at how he drives the tardis I would not trust him near my car in a million years

THANK you doctor I totally called it the oversized furbie is not your friend why do they always trust the first alien that tells them a sob story

i'd be a good companion i would actually notice the obvious before it kills everyone sometimes characters are really dumb or maybe that's just the plot armour

he has a washington wig now what is going on 🤣

living sun I knew the mind control light was familiar

the living sun went crazy did they fuck smth up last time???? or is it just a species

did it really just say "Beep of all Meeps" what even is this show 🤣

omg david youre so cute

honestly he was asking to be knocked out

Shawn and Rose must be so confused. an alien shows up. donna's mum is very insistent about how it's not real. random guy from downtown shows up. claims to have two hearts. knows wilf. has a magic screwdriver. breaks into multiple houses with them. aliens are attacking. strange man holds a court session in an underground car park. strange man gets knocked out and you are all put in a creepy government van.

donna here finally asking some reasonable questions

"i don't know him" two seconds later: *exchanging looks*

donna found herself a good man

not even in this new body for 24 hours and he's already getting so much head trauma

'a great day for meepkind' didn't you say you're the last. great day for you you mean.

oh they're gonna join wheelchair ginger lady

OMG THERE SHE IS

ROCKET LAUNCHERS

according to subtitles her name is shirley its very fitting like a sherley temple

THE DOCTOR OMG THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME EVER

oh hey its the room hes floating in that one pic

"Love the running."

respect for david just casually climbing up a wall i could never

besties fr

give this man a break hes so sad

that one random kid is having the time of his life

is she really gonna chew him out for taking her memories girliepop the world is ending

theyre just making up words now

WHY does he ALWAYS lose the ONE PERSON that can UNDERSTAND HIM like THIS its the SAME. FRAKING. POSITION. EVERY. FREAKING. TIME.

just take it away agin

NO DONNA

why is this face so suicidal its actually concerning

ROSE YES

The Master's back again I'm calling it now

"Enigmatic, that is textbook enigmatic."

Crowley voice coming out

As a viewer I'm cackling as a writer i'm confused but I'll just let it go

wink wink wink

see what i did there

Shirley is just "yep regular tuesday this is normal i'm gonna get such a pay bonus OO BUBBLES"

rose: I wanna see! Doctor: yes! Donna: NO! Doctor: I mean no, that's what I said, no.

BESTIES THEYRE SO CUTE

Shawn: Yeah. True. But he's obviously a gay fruitcake so we're fine.

doctor is so offended he's like "what am i not a threat anymore wdym im totally attractive :( :( :("

woah the tardis changed I dont like it

most ADHD doctor ever

OOOO the round things change colors now

BEST

IES

because every time he visits with the family, donna, he loses them. he lost you and it killed him, so its gotta be a big goodbye.

Not even ten minutes and you've broken it, I mean relaly doctor give her a break

the tardis deserves better than this trainwreck of a time lord

"We CoUlD eNd Up AnYwHeRe In AlL oF tImE aNd SpAcE" bro don't pretend for one second that you know where/when you're going on a regular day. 90% of episodes are "oh hey lets go somewhere unknown and see what happens" or "oops the tardis is bringing me somewhere weird" or "oops I messed up this wasn't where/when I meant to go"

[we-arent-married]

Ranking The Songs From Hairspray (2007)

Hairspray is probably one of my favourite movies of all time so I'm going to rank all of the songs from it. The title didn't lie. I'm also not including anything sung during or after the credits or any reprises.

15. It Takes Two: The whole reason this song is in last place is because it's kind of just forgettable. You can't really hear most of it in the film due to it being talked over the whole time so it just became really forgettable for me.

14. (Its) Hairspray: This one is low because it's just really short. While fun, there isn't much time to enjoy the song itself because by time it starts, it's almost over. Serves the purpose well though and has some funny moments in it.

13. (You're) Timeless To Me: Silly little love song. While very sweet, this song is also kind of forgettable for me but is a nice little ditty. It's also very cute to see Wilbur and Edna dancing and singing together.

(Now it gets really hard to rank them)

12. I Can Hear The Bells: While kind of cringey at points, this song is just too silly to hate. This is more personal than anything because I tend to like more upbeat songs in general but this was still a decent song. Lovesick lyrics and all.

11. Run And Tell That: Fun! That's the only word I can use to describe this song. A nice introduction song for Seaweed and Li'l Inez (Who is the best part of this song for sure.) Just a good early song.

10. Big, Blonde, And Beautiful: While yes a bit slower, the tune of this always makes me want to hum along. I also really like food so all of the food lyrics is a nice perk.

9. Good Morning Baltimore: I mean what more could you desire from an opening song. We get a good character introduction, jazzy beat, and perfectly singable lyrics. Good mid tier song

8. The New Girl In Town: Another song that suffers a little from being quite short. The song really picks up in the second half when it gets more energy but he whole song is catchy as fuck.

7. Welcome To The 60's: While I love this song, looking at it now there are just too many I love more. While fun and upbeat, this song feels like it gets constantly interrupted by talking which brings it down a little for me.

6. (The Legend Of) Miss Baltimore Crabs: Villain song! And damn does it do it well. We immediately know that Velma is the villain just from a few lines of this. The visuals are also super fun all throughout the song.

5. Ladies Choice: Another song fits the short but sweet mantra. This one takes the lead over the other shorter songs due to the energy all throughout the song and the fun visuals all throughout.

4. You Can't Stop The Beat: Oh the showstopper finale! This is a great way to end off this musical affair. This song is chaotic in the best way possible with every major character singing in this in an amazing conclusion.

3. I Know Where I've been: The most emotional song in the musical for sure. This song is powerful and memorable with the visuals of the rally only aiding to the title of the most moving song in the soundtrack.

2. The Nicest Kids In Town: It was really hard to choose between this and the number one. This song is just super duper fun and always makes me smile when I hear it, even if I don't condone very message in the song, I still wanna belt out all the words.

Without Love: Silly love song wins! I love this song way way way too much to not put it in the number one spot. I love the two duos singing together in this fun song that also happens to move along the plot. What other films bust someone out of basically house arrest on steroids while singing about love?

So there's my ranking. Feel free to (respectfully) disagree with me and if you've never seen Hairspray, go watch it.

[scandalsavagefanfic]

Hello! I am a huge fan of ur writing. I've loved everything I've read of yours. I've read alot of what you've posted, except for a couple of the tags that are squicky for me (so I'm very thankful you tag very thoroughly). No judgement for the squick, it's just not for me. & when I'm having a bad day, I usually just go thru ur ao3 and find something to reread. I think about Therapy's Bruce & Jason every damn day. While I obvs appreciate ur darker more "problematic" content (I really vibe with some of the themes you write about bc of my own trauma, & so it's very cathartic to read about in a fictional setting), I am truly a sucker for ur more happy content. The Happily Ever After verse also lives in my head rent free. Idk more wholesome stuff just seems more special when you write it. Anyways. I would die for you. But the point of this ask is cause I'm curious as to why you don't like Urban Legends? I'm sorry if you already talked about it here or on twitter and I missed it. I was just wondering because I really enjoy your take on things and would love to hear why you dislike it. I've been enjoying it so far personally, but I am always open to DC comics criticism.

Aw thank you so much! I'm so flattered by everything you just said. You're so sweet ❤❤❤❤❤

I haven't talked about Urban Legends here or twitter (I haven't been very active in either place lately. Just a lot going on and no energy 😔) but I'm happy to do it here.

Before I start though, I just want to add a standard disclaimer and make it clear that if you like it, there's nothing wrong with that and you don't have to let me ruin it for you lol. Like what you like.

That said, since you asked...

I said this when I was talking about it on discord, that there is a difference between hope and expectation. I always hope that a new story centered on Jason (or anyone really, but things have been especially egregious for Jay for 15 years) will be good or at least treat the character with a minimal level of respect (to be honest, the bar is super fucking low). But my expectations always temper my hope, to keep it from getting unrealistic. Because my expectations are based on experience.

The long history of Jason Todd, since even before his resurrection, has been one of retroactively trying to make him "a bad seed" in order to absolve Bruce of any responsibility in his death.

I don't even expect DC or their writers to start honoring the fact that Jason was not an angry, reckless Robin (and less of the later than Dick or Tim and definitely Damian). There plenty of ways that retcon can be folded into his history and be compelling and sympathetic. And if they're going to stick with that retcon, I'm only asking that they do it in one of those compelling and sympathetic ways because Jason was 15 when he died, heroically, in one of the most selfless acts in comics, to save a woman who literally handed him over to be brutally murdered. He was 12 when Bruce plucked him off the streets, he'd been homeless and fending for himself for at least two years. I personally think that Jason's story hits harder for him and Bruce if their original, canon relationship, of Jason as starry-eyed and eager to learn and absolutely devoted to Bruce and Bruce to Jason, is preserved. But Jason's origins does leave room for a meaningful interpretation of him as angry and frustrated at the lack of meaningful results of Bruce's methods.

And that's really where my irritation at stories like Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer and Batman The Adventure Continues has it's roots.

Every time one of these stories comes out, I think (or hope, rather) that this will be the one that remembers and respects the origins of the Jason and the Red Hood, that takes into account the changed sensibilities of comics readers in the 30 years since Jason's death and the subtle, 20 year, retroactive campaign to make him the "bad Robin". The "born bad" trope is played out and literally no one likes the message it implies. That some kids are just bad eggs and there's nothing parents or the adults around them can do. Especially when it's played as the kid's fault. If Jason's time as Robin is going to be characterized by anger, then it should be rooted in anger at the social injustices he witnessed as he grew up in an impoverished, crime-ridden, area and the horrors he faced raising himself when every day was a battle for survival. There are topical, meaningful, stories to tell with that backdrop.

But those are never the stories we get.

⚠⚠ Spoilers for Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer ⚠⚠

I'm particularly disappointed in Urban Legends because for the first issue, it looked like that was the kind of story we were going to get. I was put off by the first flashback of Jason being mesmerized by Bruce's guns, and I got that feeling in my gut that it was a bad sign. Jason depicted as impatient and overconfident and the scene with the guns is heavy-handed foreshadowing that got my spidey-sense tingling. I had a inkling then (in the first three pages) of how this story was going to play out, but it was early and I could still see many narrative paths that could lead to a satisfying story. My concerns were soothed somewhat and the little flame of my hope fanned, with the flashback of Alfred scolding Bruce, with Barbara's concern for Jason. A bit of worry returned with the way Jason ruthlessly pursued an addict who didn't appear to be a dealer and with the ending of the issue. The stuff with the addict sat wrong with me but the ending was tempered some by how despicable Tyler's dad was written. The scene was clearly set so that the reader could sympathize with Jason's decision and the scene with the addict could be brushed aside as a side-effect of comics over-the-top need for constant action, so I still held hope.

Issue 2 made me uncomfortable and it's where my hope starts to take a backseat to my expectations. I can dismiss Jason's self-deprecating internal monologue as unreliable narration, except that the flashback reinforces his thought process to explicitly show that it's not unreliable narration, and should be taken at face value. Jason faces physical abuse at the hands of his mother's drug dealer and when the flashback continues later, Jason kills the drug dealer. To be clear, this is a pre-Bruce Jason. His mom is still alive. He's like... 10. He kills this guy for shoving his head into a wall and implying Jason's mother paid for her drugs with sex. This is a scene that serves a single purpose. To show that Jason has always been prone to violence.

In the spirit of full disclosure, there is the small chance the drug dealer might not be dead. But the story obviously wants the reader to think he is, and it hasn't done anything to change that yet.

Starlin already did this story with The Diplomat’s Son in 1988 and he did it infinitely better. AND that’s still technically canon. So now I’m supposed to believe that Jason lost his cool bad enough to kill two douche bags before his sweet 16? Like it’s totally normal for abused kids raised in poverty, who’ve led hard and heartbreaking lives to just... haul off and kill people? That’s bullshit, and when taken with the Jason in the third issue, who is little more than an idiot thug, this story is really doubling down on some fucked up stereotypes.

Which brings us to the most recent issue. I went into this installment with very low expectations. I thought this story was going to be about Jason, through this experience with Tyler, a young boy with a similar background to Jason's, coming to the realization that Bruce's way is the best way and that Bruce did his best by Jason.

That would be annoying (in no small part because it takes increasingly absurd levels of plot armor to keep Bruce's no kill rule relevant, let alone irrefutably right). But I can probably live with that, if only because maybe if Jason officially falls back into line with the Bats crusade, maybe I'll get stories that treat him with respect, stories that don't relegate him to comic relief, dumb brute, or a background body with no lines in a story about the Joker burning Gotham (like Jason would just fucking stand there quietly for that).

And that may still be where the story is going, Jason realizing Bruce is right.

But holy shit do I not have the right words to describe how fucking insulting and gross issue three is.

From start to finish--including the flashback--Jason is written as cruel and fucking stupid. Like straight up dumb.

The entire issue is Bruce explaining the fucking basics to Jason like it's his first day. And Jason flies off the fucking handle and terrorizes a doctor he knows isn't a part of making the Cheerdrops, beats the shit out of some random addicts, and finally, when he can't accomplish anything on his own because he's a dumb brute he calls Barbara for help and rushes in with no information where he's promptly incapacitated and must now wait to be rescued by Batman.

This panel is the least of the issues sins but I can’t screenshot the entire story but it’s representative of the tone for the whole issue (and retroactively tainted the prior two issues).

This is beyond insulting. The only conclusions Jason comes to in this issue are the ones Bruce leads him to by talking to him like he can’t make the simplest connections. And like... in this story Jason can’t make the simplest connections.

This (and the Jason throughout the entirety of this issue) is a far cry from the Jason we fell in love with in Under the Red Hood, who was competent and strategic and intelligent enough to seize control of Gotham’s underworld from Black Mask (who’s no fucking slouch, he’s the first and only person to unify organized crime in Gotham) AND elude and manipulate Bruce until the time and place of his choosing.

This is a far cry from even the Red Hood and the Outlaws Jason who is competent enough to fight the League of Shadows and Ra’s al Ghul (among very dangerous and skilled others) and smart enough to create antidotes for mind control nanotech viruses.

As he should be, by the way. Jason Todd is one of the best, most comprehensively trained fighters in DC’s stable of non powered vigilantes. He’s not irrational or hot headed. He’s pragmatic, tactically minded, and patient. He’s a detective. Right now. Has been since he was 12. Bruce doesn’t have to make him one because he already is. 

Jason is not a stupid thug who uses his fists because his brain doesn’t work. And I can’t tell you how so very exhausted I am by this narrative. 

This is actually the most egregious example of Jason’s skills and intelligence being not just undermined but dismissed entirely. Even Morrison’s Jason had some degree of competency. 

The one, single redeeming factor of this story is the art. It’s beautiful. And Marcus To is a godsend he seems to be one of only a couple of artists who remember that Jason was a child when he was Robin and I’m literally only buying this book because of him. 

Anyway, I’m sorry. I didn’t want that to come out so... um... passionately lol. I’m just very very tired. My intention with this isn’t to ruin it for you, if you like it, that’s fine. 

But this issue shot this story to the top of my "Vehemently Despise” list. 1) Batman: Urban Legends (Cheer), 2) Battle for the Cowl/Morrison’s Batman and Robin, 3) Batman The Adventure Continues.

I hope the next issues somehow salvage this dumpster fire. But I’m not expecting it.

(Damnit. That sounded harsh again. To reiterate, I’m not trying to judge anyone who enjoys it, I just personally hate it and you asked me why lol 😅)

[rayslittlekitten]

You Got This - Part 2

I recommend reading Part 1 first if you haven't.

Plot: After having a heart to heart, you and Jax re-live your youth.

Pairing: Jax Teller x F! Reader

Contains: a lot of fluff and fluffy sex, also a shit ton of Jax smoking porn, and you see his butt 🙃

A/N:  Thank you Anon for this request.  I hope you and the other readers enjoy this (if not more) than the first part. This took me longer than I expected to write this, but it's finally done.  I kept going back and forth on trying to decide what to include and what not to.  Also, had I known I was going to be writing a part two for this, the beginning of this would have been at the end of part one, but hindsight is 20/20. I actually did already write out most of the beginning but decided to leave it out of part one because I thought where I left it was a good place to end it. I also thought about eliminating it completely but I really like the interaction that happens with Gemma.  To me it's like a beauty shot. Is it necessary and does it move the story along at all? Not quite, but it looks good so let's just leave it in there anyways. Also to squeeze a little bit more angst out of Jax.

Also, I had a bit of trouble writing this as well because as strange as this sounds, I couldn't find the perfect song to pair with this.  Sometimes I need music to help me get into the mindset and mood.  I was going for like a nostalgic summer love kinda thing. I had actually thought to use a song form the mid-90s because to really make it feel nostalgic and Shanice's "Saving Forever For You" was the winner for that but I decided it was not right for this. Maybe their actual first time, yes.  Then it was a toss up between "Honey Whiskey" by Satica and "Take Me Away" by Sinead Harnett/EARTHGANG and the latter won given the situation. I'd recommend giving it a listen below (or any of the songs listed) to get the mood I was going for while writing the sex scene. I really thank you for reading my ramblings if you've gotten this far. I just want to give the readers the best experience to my stories and how it was intended when I wrote it.

A loud commotion outside interrupts the moment and you both realize you need to get dressed before someone finds the both of you.  He pulls out of you and you both quickly get yourselves together. You hop into the bathroom inside the bedroom to clean yourself up. When you walk out, you see Jax sitting on the bed smoking a cigarette with all his clothes and hair in place, like he had been sitting there this whole time and didn't move from his spot when you first walked in.  He glances over to you and you're reminded of how his handsome charming face is something you miss so much.

"I should probably go before someone starts looking for either of us." You walk out of the bathroom and towards the front door.  Jax grabs your hand and pulls you back to him.

"Hey." He stands up, cups your face and looks at you. "It's really good to see you again."

Suddenly you both hear the door knob rattling and then a knock following it.

"Jax, are you in there, honey?" You both hear Gemma on the other side of the door. 

You both separate and smooth yourselves out and Jax walks over to open the door. 

"Honey, what are you doing in here? Tara--" Gemma's facial expression shifts when she spots you. She looks at the both of you suspiciously. You both thought you were so slick when you were younger but if there was anyone who knew what you both were up to, it would be Gemma. Nothing slips past her. In fact, she’s always secretly hoped you two would get together. You were born into SAMCRO, making you MC royalty. The Princess of Charming.

"Oh, I didn't know you were in here too. I'm very sorry about Opie, sweetheart." 

"Thank you, Gemma." You walk closer to the door and Gemma pulls you in for a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Where's your fiancé?" Gemma asks curiously.

"Fiancé?" Jax glances over at you.

"I came by myself this time," you answer. "We're kind of on a break." You wrinkle your nose.

"I'm sorry to hear that too. Must be one hell of a break." Gemma's knowing eyes are boring a hole into you. "Lyla tells me you're staying a while?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna help her out with the kids for a week or so until she can figure it out.  I know you and the club will be a big help, but with everything going on, I think her and the kids can use another familiar face."

"Family is important and I'm very happy to see you here." Gemma's eyes shift to Jax with the same knowing look she gave you. "Well, whenever you're ready, Tara's looking for you."

"Thanks, mom." Jax runs his hand over the top of his hair. Gemma glances at you both again once more before she walks away.

You start making your way out the door when Jax pulls you back in.

"You're engaged?" Jax asks with wide eyes.

"Was," you reply. 

"Was it to that pretentious English prick you brought back with you last time?" Jax snarls.

"Ray is a good guy and he treats me really well. We're just going through a bit of a rough patch right now," you tell him. "Also, the last I heard, you're married with two children, Teller."

Jax just looks at you, knowing he has no right to be upset about you being with another man.

"And I believe your wife is looking for you," you say before walking away from him as you see your nephews and niece running up to you. "Hey guys!"

Jax takes a drag of his cigarette while he continues watching you as you kneel down to greet the kids.

A few days later...

The sun is beginning to set and Jax is at the clubhouse. Most of the people have already left. He needs some quiet and alone time after spending a few days earlier in the week not just watching his best friend get killed, but also saying goodbye and laying him to rest. He climbs up the ladder onto the roof of the clubhouse, one of his favorite places to think and reflect quietly while smoking.  What he didn't expect to find is someone else had beat him to the spot.

"I didn't know you were here," Jax says as he walks over and sits next to them. "You've been avoiding me like the plague all week."

"I miss watching the sunset," you reply without looking at him.

"The sun doesn't set where you are?" Jax asks as he lights up a joint.

"It's not the same."

Jax takes a long drag and then offers it to you. 

You look at it for a moment and form a small smile before taking it from him.  The roof was also a place you both frequented in your youth to smoke pot, away from your parents and the adults. Eventually they figured out your secret spot, but it didn't stop you guys from coming back. You take a pull and hand it back to him.

"I also miss this.  There is nothing like California-grown weed."

Jax takes a hit and blows out the smoke from the corner of his mouth.

"Do you ever miss me?" Jax looks over at you and passes the joint back to you.

You look over to him and squint an eye to prevent the sun from blinding you.

"Yeah, sometimes I do."

"Does your English weed taste like fucking tea and crumpets?" Jax jokes.

"Oh, I get the best shit there is over there. Trust me." You chuckle. "But... it's not home."

"So why don't you come home?" Jax looks back at you with the same squinty face.

You look at him for a moment deciding what you want to say. "You know, that's the reason why Ray and I put the engagement on hold. With everything happening here, I wanted to be closer to family. Figure my shit out." You take another drag and return the joint back to him.

"There's more than family that would love to see you back home too." Jax reaches for your hand and squeezes it.

"Jackson, what happened the other day, we both acted out of impulse. We were both just... vulnerable.  I'm sorry if it gave the wrong impression."

Jax shakes his head, then takes another long pull of the joint. “Ope was like my moral compass, kept me grounded and always pointed me in the right direction, and now he's gone, because of me."

"Jackson, you can't--" You start shaking your head.

"You’re the closest thing I have left of Ope. I need you." Jax holds your hand.

"Jackson, in your heart, you always knew what was best. You don't need me." You push a loose chunk of his blonde hair away from his face and tuck it behind his ear.  "I know you're hurting, but I can't fill the void that Opie left. Nothing ever will. Just focus on what's important to you and you'll figure it out.  You always did." You smile at him while caressing his cheek with your thumb. "You got this." He closes his eyes and leans in to your hand, soaking in your touch.

"You still have too much faith me." He turns his head slightly to kiss the palm of your hand.

"Yeah, maybe. Besides, our boat sailed a long time ago," you add, pulling your hands away from him and looking away. Jax takes the last drag of the joint and tosses it off the roof.

"Maybe that boat can make one last stop before sailing away for good?" Jax gently grabs your chin and turns your head to him to look into his slightly droopy eyes.

Even all this time, it's still hard to not get lost in his baby blues. It's even harder with the perfect setting: the firey orange sky, the slight California breeze, the clubhouse rooftop. Maybe it's the weed, but it feels perfect in the moment. It's all taking you back to the summer when you were 14, when the only care in your worlds were right in front of each other. It's also the perfect setting for cruising around. Jax use to "borrow" one of the bikes from the clubhouse and take you on joyrides, basking in the sun while the wind hits your faces.

He slowly leans into you, and you close the distance, pressing your lips against his. Jax immediately responds and kisses back, his tongue slipping between your teeth. You can taste whiskey mixed with a faint linger of cigarettes and marijuana. Jax cradles your neck and pulls you in closer to him.

The loud roar of a motorcycle driving by and backfiring breaks you up.  You both are brought back to reality that you are both still on a rooftop and a bit baked.

"Come on, let's get inside." Jax jerks his head towards the latch.  Jax helps you down the ladder first and he follows behind.  He quickly makes a sweep and doesn't see anyone except for a few guys at the bar with their back turned towards the both of you.  Jax grabs your hand and leads you back into the spare bedroom you both were in earlier in the week. This definitely feels like you both are hormone-driven teenagers again, sneaking around the clubhouse. 

Once Jax closes and locks the door, he turns his attention back to you but he stops in his tracks to really look at you. All of you. He never thought he'd ever be with you or see you like this again.  What happened the other day was different.  Like you said, it was a moment of weakness, an impulsive move on both of you because of shared pain.

This time, there is no urgency, there is no hurt, just the two of you re-living a moment the two of you wish you had the opportunity to experience over and over again. This time it's intentionally and purely for the most selfish reasons. He walks over to you and presses his lips onto yours, taking his time to actually taste and feel your soft lips on his.  He pulls you in close to his body as his hands explore yours.

As the both of you continue to deliberately and slowly make out, Jax grabs your ass and presses himself against you, feeling his erection through your clothes. Jax pushes you backward towards the bed and you fall back when you feel the edge hit the back of your knees. He falls on top of you and expertly starts disrobing you while making out with you.  In one quick swift, Jax pulls your shirt over your head, leaving you in a satin black bra.  He takes his time with you, starting with his lips on your neck, licking and kissing it, even nibbling at it.  He's always wanted to leave a hickey on you, letting all the guys know you're taken. He then makes his way down to your collar bone, the top of your chest and then pulls down your bra on one side to reveal a nipple.  He puts his mouth over it and swirls his tongue around it.  Jax looks up to see your reaction and find you looking back biting your lower lip. He smirks and pulls down the other side of your bra and gives that nipple the same attention, making you arch against his mouth. 

"Oh, Jackson," you moan.

He lets out a low growl.

"As much as I want to hear all the sexy noises coming out of your mouth while I'm pleasuring you, you gotta keep it quiet, darlin'." He kisses you while he unhooks your bra and tosses it aside. He then unbuttons your pants and backs himself off the bed. He slowly slides your pants and thong off your hips and down your legs. He licks his lips, excited to unwrap you like his present. You watch him as he lowers himself to his knees and kneels at your feet to help you with your boots and removes the rest of the clothes off your body.  Suddenly feeling a bit exposed and shy like it's your first time with Jax, you keep your legs together. Jax places his hands on each of your knees and coaxes them open. He looks at his gift and licks his lips.

He dives in between your legs while looking up at you. His soft lips and warm wet tongue are licking and sucking you on all the right places and his beard tickling your inner thighs.  That's new to you.  He barely had peach fuzz in his teens. You feel him slip a finger inside you as his lips are pulling at your clit.  Your breathing is getting shorter and more shallow.  Jax inserts another long finger in you and finds your g-spot, rubbing circles on it.

"Jax, I..." Feeling your orgasm building, you are rendered speechless. Jax continues sucking and stroking you until you come undone into his mouth and on his fingers. He watches you squirm and thrash as you scream quietly in ecstasy. He doesn't stop until you are sensitive to his touch and you push him away.  He wipes his beard and smiles at you, proud of his accomplishment. Jax surely still knows his way around your body.

You glance up to him as he gets to his feet.  You watch him strip his clothes off, first the kutte, then his shirt pulled over his head.  He kicks off his sneakers as he takes his time unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his jeans.  You're glad he's taking his time though because it allows you to soak up and remember every second you have with this gorgeous man in front of you.  He finally pulls his jeans and boxers down.  Besides from the other day, the last time you and him were this intimate, the both of you were shorter, slimmer and clearly less experienced.  Now you’re both grown, gained curves and muscles and are far more seasoned in the bedroom.  He's also certainly grown in other places as well.

"Back up," Jax nods his head as he climbs onto the bed and  hovers above you.  You scoot back so your whole body is on the bed.  Jax lays on top of you and smashes his lips against yours again, cradling your neck and grinding against you.  You can feel the head of cock teasing your opening.

"Maybe we should use a condom this time," you tell him in between kisses.

"I'm not gonna lie.  You did feel amazing without one the other day," Jax admits.

You and Jax had always been careful and taking the right steps when you were younger, using condoms at all times so that time was the first time you both had sex without one. Thankfully you are on birth control and both are STD-free, but you know you shouldn't take any chances.  

You give him a knowing look.

"Anything for you, darlin'." Jax gives you a kiss on the cheek before getting up to put on a condom.  He climbs back on top of you and looks at you as he caresses your face, still not believing that you're beneath him.

You gently grab his face with both hands and kiss him deeply. You then feel him slip inside you. All of him.  You moan into his mouth and move with him, both of your hips slowly thrusting in unison. Jax grabs your hands and brings them above your head. He intertwines his fingers with yours and thrusts deeper into you.  He watches you while you relish in the moment, as he pulls these lost emotions from you with each deliberate push.  You wrap your legs around his waist and it encourages him to pick up the pace.  You try to do the same and meet his rhythm.

Jax releases your hands and reaches for your legs behind him and brings them in front of him to rest on his shoulders, deepening his access to you.  His hand reaches up to cradle your neck as he pounds into you. You then feel his thumb slide over the front of your throat.  You start to feel his fingers tighten slightly around your neck. This is also new for you and Jax, but you're loving it.  You can feel yourself getting closer to achieving another orgasm.

"Jackson..." you pant.

"Come for me, darlin'.  I know you're there," Jax grunts.

You close your eyes and feel bliss as you let yourself go, letting your body take over you.  After your orgasm subsides, you open your eyes and find Jax is no longer making love to you, but just smiling at you while still inside you. Now it's time for you to show him a few tricks you've learned.

"Get on your back," you tell him.

Without any protest from Jax, you both switch positions.  Jax lies on his back with this hands behind his head, waiting for you to take the wheel.  You straddle him and take your time sinking yourself onto him.  You feel a lot more confident about being on top than you did when you were younger.  You were shy and inexperienced.  Now? You're going to ride him like the sexiest Harley you've ever had the privilege of sitting on. You slowly start riding him, rocking back and forth, grinding on him and teasing him. You enjoy the feeling of him filling you up to the hilt as you push down on him.

Jax looks up at you, watching you take charge and own his dick.  He definitely notices you're a lot more comfortable in this position than he remembers.  He reaches up and runs his hands over your breasts, massaging them and caressing your nipples as you enjoy the ride. He's certainly enjoying the view.

"You are still as fucking beautiful as the day I fell in love with you," Jax says, mesmerized by the image in front of him.

You smile and then lean back, placing your hands behind you on his thighs. Jax looks at you curiously. You roll your hips and start sliding up and down on him, giving him a clear view.  He looks down and watches himself disappear in and out of you.

Jax groans and runs the palms of his hands over your thighs and settles on your hips.  One of his hands then slides over between your legs and he starts rubbing circles on your clit with this thumb. You moan and gasp. You then lean forward, placing your hands on the pillow of each side of his head and lean down closer to him.  You start bouncing your ass up and down as you look down on him, your hair forming a curtain around your faces.  Jax grabs your ass and starts thrusting up to meet your movement. The only sounds echoing in the room are your pants and your bodies slapping against each other.  Jax speeds up and watches your face as it distorts.  He knows you've got another one inside you and you're very close.

"Come on, darlin'. Let it go." Jax coos.

You let out a loud moan as your legs shake and feel like a firecracker exploded inside of you.  Jax clamps a hand over your mouth as he continues to drill inside.

"There you go, Y/N." Jax smiles watching you fall apart on top of him.  He then swiftly flips you onto your back and roughly drives into you a few more times until he finally gets his own release.

As he slows down, you both look at each other, savoring the moment and then kiss softly.

Suddenly the door knob starts to rattle and the person on the other side is banging on the door.

"Yo, hurry it up! I gotta take a shit!" an unrecognizable voice shouts.

"Hey asshole, the bathroom is further down!" You both hear Chibs shouting. You place your hands over your mouth as you start to laugh.

"Shh!" Jax puts a finger over his pursed lips as he tries to suppress his own laughter.

SMASH CUT TO BLACK

A/N: I never put notes at the end but I figured I'd let you enjoy the fic first before mentioning I currently don't have plans to expand this story. I might in the future, but not in the near future.  I originally intended the first part to be short and be a one off, but I just kept writing and writing and there were so many places and opportunities to keep expanding. Same for part two.  There were so many directions I could have gone. I had a bit of struggle with this for some reason. It's not quite exactly how I pictured it ending but it works for what it is.

If you haven’t read it yet, I wrote two short scenes titled “Carry Me Home” and “Joyride” which are like flashbacks in this universe.

undefined

[reaction2whatever]

Agents of SHIELD S2E12-S2E13 reaction

Agents of SHIELD S2E12

-Lady Sif! I've missed her

-She's handsome

-Skye can pin May now in training?

-lol May was so offended by Skye saying that she doesn't want to hurt May

-Melinda "You can't hurt me" May

-Fitz worrying about Skye is sooo cute

-omfg Bobbi naked

-I'm looking respectfully Ma'am (Maybe not that respectfully

-Hunter you lucky man

-Seriously I can't concentrate on what they're saying because

-Bobbi is so fucking stunning helllppp

-Jemma Simmons, you've evolved to someone I don't recognize

-she's sooo hell-bent on killing enhanced people i don't like this

-I feel like this is ooc, but necessary to push the plot of "SHIELD won't react well to Skye having powers" along

-I don't like Simmons behaving in this way

-oh wait that scene of the gun dismantled in Skye's hands

-that's soooo badass

-Just exactly what Bobbi and Mack plan on doing

-"the guy making me see cartoon birdies all around my head" lol even if Skye's dealing with superpowers now she's still got her humor intact

-love that about her

-How convenient? Skye just got the power and in the next episode a Kree got to earth lol

-okay fine the diviner send a signal, that explains it

-oh fuck this Kree man is calling Skye abominations again

-this show really is pushing the idea of shield thinking Skye is abominations

-omfg the terror on Skye's face

-These people keep on shoving "Kree slave warrior" "weapons" "abominations" to Skye's face it's a wonder she didn't lose control for so long

-so Skye's power is earthquakes...?

-That scene of Skye shattering the glasses

-There is tension but omfg that scene is so cool

-uggh fuck this Kree guy

-"designed to destroy" my ass

-"Jemma I'm so sorry" welp now Simmons knows. I don't like the idea of Skye apologizing though. She didn't do anything wrong?

-I hope Simmons doesn't get even more ooc and say Skye should be put down

-Of course shield will protect Skye

-especially mama May and dad Coulson lol

-Bobbi is so impressive holy fuck the Kree guy beat Hunter and Mack with one move and Bobbi be out here fighting a real alien

-annnd with help of Fitz actually take down a Kree and erase his memories

-Bobbi you kick ass

-I love May for helping Skye

-Did Skye just shoot herself???

-Of course she would

-she's got a dangerous self-sacrifice tendency

-Why is Fitz the only one protecting Skye I hate this so much

-Mack saying they need protection from Skye and Skye actually witnessing the whole conversation

-That hurts

-Skye is not running away, is she?

-oh she locked herself up.

-emotional damage

-I cannot for the life of me bring myself to like Mack except for when he was with Fitz

-Hunter figures out everything and Mack immediately attacks him

-yep Mack just lost major bonus points

-I hope Mack and Bobbi aren't hydra

-Although I did say Bobbi make a great villain, this is not the way to go

-When can Mack become likable??

Agents of SHIELD S2E13

-Skye is saying those sarcasm-tragic one-liners again

-hearing her being optimistic about things being back to normal and referring to herself as a walking disaster is ...

-poor girl

-Bobbi is good at lab work too

-like what can't Bobbi do

-I blame the current FitzSimmons tension on writers who do not know how to push Skye away from shield

-really I don't think it's necessary for the writers to fearmonger Skye's abilities

-The most Skye has done so far with her power is shaking the room and breaking some glass

-She hasn't done anything, what's there to fear?

-Mack and Bobbi holding Hunter prisoner and I still don't know what are they doing

-hearing May saying Skye is a "good agent" got me UwU

-oh fuck so THIS is May's ex-husband. A therapist. really. May marrying a shrink...

-Simmons is already suggesting giving Skye meds to the new therapist. CAN SHE JUST SHUT UP

-What did she do to my Simmons and where is my real Simmons

-Just imagining Skye growing up in the system and going through many psyche evaluations is heartbreaking

-And now she's going through it again

-And she's in jail room

-Ans she's probably thinking she'd lost her agent status that she worked so hard for

-How is she still okay?

-Ohhhh new therapist is very good at his job

-I cannot imagine May eloping with someone

-Skye's dad going at it again, being evil

-My girl CANNOT catch a break

-Is there a possibility of May getting back with the therapist?

-Ohhh FitzSimmons gossiping together!!!

-love that

-Skye having a nightmare has the power to shake an entire plane???

-girl is so powerful

-also Jemma Simmons please stop it with the sedative talk

-Girl. just stop.

-imagine having a nightmare can result in the entire base shaking

-I'm imagining the team getting a live update on when Skye's having nightmares every time from now on

-and they'd probably notice Skye has loads of them

-In a sense shield protected Skye from Hydra, but also made it very hard for Skye's dad to find her

-but still, her dad is just.... a unique way of crazy

-This fight scene between shield and Skye's dad's enhanced people squad is pretty interesting

-I feel like this scene's purpose is for Skye to witness her friends taking down a whole bunch of enhanced humans

-and she sees herself in the aim of the rifle makes so much sense

-Especially considering Skye's first kill was Donnie, the ice boy

-She thought she is gonna be contained by her friends like this one day

-she successfully contained her power?

-I'm proud of her

-omg Skye just gave herself 75 fractures in her bones to control herself

-When will she stop hurting herself to protect others

-Let my girl breathe

-In the pilot Skye was so thrilled about Mike's superpower and now she hasn't shown even a bit of happiness to her power

-I don't know I want her to be happier

-Writers really be getting a kick out of seeing Skye suffer huh

[sicjimin]

🍳 Get the Egg Away 🍳

A.N : based on anon's idea few days ago about pregnant yoongi. A little bit angst but i dont know .. if this good enough .. since im suck at writing angst or something with plot shsjshss i hope you like it. Sorry for keep filling you with mpreg stories :") (i know the title is lame)

TW : emeto, graphic description of vomiting, mpreg

"What kind of demon possessed you this morning?", Yoongi asks, his brow furrowed and his hand busy rubbing his stomach that now has become prominent with his 5 months pregnancy. He sits on the counter, resting his head on his palm, looking at Namjoon that currently in a war with the pan. Yoongi giggles.

"What are you laughing about? I could have been cursed.", Namjoon says as he flips the pan over, the flames from the stove almost making him flinch away but he manages to hold it together, "but I wasn't."

"I tried to be a good husband", Namjoon says, smiling in satisfaction when he sees the egg looks decent. He lifts it up, placed it on the toast with bacon along with strawberry jam and butter too- Hobi's recipe that he grows fond of.

He grins once he finished the plating, slides it in front of his boyfriend, "Here, your breakfast. Made specially by me"

Out of every expression he was expecting from Yoongi, scrunching his face with disgust definitely is not on the list.

"Egg?", Yoongi asks with disbelief while looking down at the plate. Namjoon frowns at the tone.

" Yes? Is there anything wrong?"

Yoongi doesn't say a word, but he can see the look in his eyes. obvious Yoongi is pissed. Namjoon doesn't know what he did wrong to cause such a reaction out of his boyfriend.

He wants to apologize immediately, but his pride was holding him back. "You dont want to eat that?"

"No", Yoongi pulls the plate away again.

Now. Namjoon is pissed.

"I know i'm not a good cooker, like you, but what's wrong with that? Is me cooking for you is that bad?" Namjoon tries to defend himself, to reason with Yoongi.

But that doesn't work.

"Joon, I don't want eggs."

Namjoon looks at him. A deep frown on his lips. Yoongi never refuses an egg and always eats them before anyone else.

"What? Why?'

Yoongi huffs, " I just not ! I think i have told you thousand times before that i can't eat eggs?"

"I would've remembered if you told me. When is it?"

"You know, 2 days ago. I threw up after eating our ramen that had egg in there!", Yoongi says, voice slightly raised and Namjoon frown again, " You throw up nearly everyday and every time hyung. How am i supposed to know that it the eggs that makes you sick?", he asks and Yoongi shakes his head in defeat. "You should've known if you care about me", he pouts now. Fiddling with his sweater. Namjoon would coos at the sight right now, Yoongi's chubby cheeks, his little bump that drowns in his fluffy baby blue sweater, and the pink lips that forming a pout ... Gosh. His boyfriend is too adorable for his good — if he's not fuming with emotion right now.

Namjoon scoffs, " You're not making any sense now, Yoongi"

And that makes his boyfriend snap his head, "It's still hyung for you, Joon-ah", he points out, " And what's not make any sense? I just say that i cant eat eggs! It's making me nauseous. Why you had to make it as a big deal?"

"Well, maybe because i wake up early to prepare this and because of the egg you refused to eat it?", Namjoon ran his fingers through his blonde hair, looking at everywhere else but Yoongi as he knows he would just forget everything and apologize if he sees the older. " I can't believe we argue about the egg. Pregnancy really make you more irritable, hyung"

"Is that what you think? Me? Irritable and annoying?", Namjoon turns his gaze immediately after he registers what he just said. There is Yoongi, looking at him with tears covering his orbs.

Fuck, Namjoon, you're so stupid-

" No no hyung that whats i mean-", Namjoon stammered, moving his way to the other side of the counter, wanting to hug his boyfriend but Yoongi swatted his hand, "Then what am i suppose to take that sentence? I hear you loud and clear. Glad to know what you've been thinking this whole time", Yoongi said through his teeth, wiping his tears with the back of his hands, sniffling.

Fuck, fuck, fuck! Now Namjoon feels even worse. Why was it this hard?

" Hyung", he says, trying to get closer, reaching out and grabbing Yoongi's hand to bring it into his lap. But instead, the older reach out for the plate and take a mouthful of it, "Thank you for breakfast. You should eat, we gonna be late"

"Hyung .. you shouldn't eat it if that makes you nauseous", Namjoon tells, his voice small and scared as he watches the elder slowly chewing on what he had in his mouth.

"I don't care if i vomit or something" Yoongi shrugs, taking another bite.

"But it might upset your baby—"

"You were mad at me earlier because i dont want to eat it, now you tell me not to, what do you want, Joon-ah?", Yoongi sighs.

The words are out of Namjoon's mouth. So he just stares quietly as Yoongi takes more.

" Stop staring at me and have your breakfast, Joonie"

And then the only sound of fork and knife surrounding them. Namjoon still can't tear his gaze from the older. He noticed how Yoongi could take a moment before swallowing. The hesitation everytime he gonna lift his fork, and how he takes a long time to chew. He even noticed when Yoongi's body jolts a little with quiet gag.

"You don't have to finish it hyung", Namjoon voices breaking Yoongi's nauseated haze. He hates seeing his boyfriend in pain, he doesn't want him to feel any. Yoongi shook his head as soon as he heard that.

"You made it, so i'll eat it".

He took another gulp.

A couple of minutes pass with both of them silent.

Yoongi finishes first.

He places the empty plate on the sink, before he stood up and leave for their shared bedroom, " I will get ready"

Namjoon nods softly, quickly to finish his food too before heading upstairs.

Namjoon's eyes widen once he opened their bedroom door. He can't found Yoongi anywhere, but there's a sound from the bathroom. He walks there, standing silently. His heart skipped a beat when he heard a small gag, then followed by a rush of liquid filling the bowl. Yoongi is vomiting.

He didn't bother to knock as he turns the handle.

Yoongi's eyes were screwed shut, hands wrapped around the rim of the bowl as he puked until the last bit came out. Namjoon steps further inside, looking at his boyfriend who now laid his head onto the toilet seat, eyes closed and breathing heavily.

"Are you okay?"

Yoongi shakes his head, before he groans and lifts himself again. His shoulder rolls as he belched into the bowl, more of brown vomit spilling from his lips. Yoongi's face is flushed red, his eyes are red as well, and his hair is damp because of sweat.

Namjoon approaches Yoongi, sitting beside him while rubbing circles on Yoongi's back with a comforting palm.

"You're doing great baby, let it out"

And Yoongi does. He continues emptying the contents of his stomach, gasping between his breaths with his nose scrunched up as he could register the toast he just ate, barely disgested, floating on the murky water below him. And the taste that lingers on his tongue only makes everything worst. His stomach twist, his head spins and he couldn't hold back the urge to vomit again.

"Your egg—uuurrkkkk", Yoongi manages to spit before turning his head. But the action caused the sick feeling to worsen and Yoongi pukes again.

" I know, i'm sorry, just finish it first hyung", Namjoon whispers.

When Yoongi is done throwing up. Namjoon helps him wipe his mouth with a wet towel and wipes his face with the same cloth.

"Are you feeling better?", Namjoon asks while he helped him lie down, Yoongi groaning as he did, letting himself rest on the soft mattress. His back aches after hunching over the toilet for a long time. His stomach is sore, and the baby keeps kicking there just adding more to the discomfort he felt. Then his argument that causing him to throw up earlier with Namjoon showing up.

Yoongi nods before placing a hand on his abdomen and rub soothingly, ducking his head down as he felt his emotion starts rising. Tears stinging behind his eyes, and before he knows, he sobs.

" Hey hey, baby, why are you crying?", Namjoon sits down next to his lover, hugging Yoongi close and letting the older cry against his chest. Yoongi clings onto him tightly, sobbing. " I'm sorry, hyung. I just didn't mean to make you sick, i swear."

"Everything feels horrible", Yoongi hiccups. He didn't care if his words come out slurred, " My stomach sore, the baby keeps kicking and making me nauseous, my back aches so bad and so is my feet, and your damn egg-", he rants in between sobs. Namjoon hushed him gently, rubbing his arm and kissing his crown.

"Shh, shh, i'm sorry hyung", Namjoon kisses the top of his boyfriend's head. And he continued holding him. Yoongi finally lets go of him with his tears dripping on Namjoon's shirt.

" Can we ...", Yoongi sniffles again, and it sounds like his throat hurts.

"... stay at home today? .."

Namjoon looks at him, "What?".

" I don't want to go anywhere. Now I've thrown up once, i know I will throw up more since my stomach still queasy", Yoongi mumbles.

" Okay", Namjoon answers immediately, " We can stay at home. Do you want anything?"

"No", Yoongi shuffles, getting comfortable on the bed, " but .. your baby kinda misses you. Can you stop making them kicking me?"

Namjoon looks at him, confused. "And how do i do that?"

Yoongi takes his wrist, slides his sweater up so it showed his bump, and placing Namjoon's palms there, motioning it against his skin, "Like that"

Namjoon laughs, "Just say you want me to rub your tummy and go"

"There's a baby now!", Yoongi pouts.

"Stop pouting or i will kiss you"

"I still taste like puke", Yoongi whines.

"Okay fine", Namjoon chuckles, " Your stomach grumbles loudly though. I can sense some kicking too", he says after a while.

"I know. It makes me nauseous when the baby moving a lot", Yoongi huffs in annoyance.

Namjoon giggles at his reaction, "It's nice to hear you complaining. I love you"

"Hnngg", Yoongi replies, "Don't you say i'm irritable?", he teases. Namjoon's face immediately falls, " I'm sorry hyung, I didn't mean that"

"I was teasing you Joonie", Yoongi smiles at him.

He brings him closer, "I know i become more annoying as im pregnant. But i can't help it, my mood control me most of the time"

"I know, i love you. I really didn't see it as anything annoying, but more too adorable. Seeing you pouts every time you complain", Namjoon grins, leaning forward to steal a kiss. Gaining gasps from the older, before his face scrunched and he clamping his mouth as he suddenly gagging.

" Joon-ah, trashcan. Now", Yoongi groaned.

Namjoon gets up from the bed and grabs the trashcan, walking back to Yoongi, placing it on the older laps as the silver-haired boy immediately hunching over it. Heaving trickle of bile and saliva as he still empty, haven't eaten anything yet.

Namjoon staring at him, "Why are you suddenly nauseous?"

A gag escaping his parted lips and a few seconds later Yoongi vomits again. "Your lips-", he chokes out before another bile making him jolts forward, "-it taste like eggs"

Namjoon stares at him, mouth agape. His eyes widened, "Gosh, you really hate eggs now?"

Yoongi pukes, before he nods and sniffles. Lifting his head a bit when his stomach calmed down, "I told you"

×××

"What did you cook now?", Yoongi greets his boyfriend that already busy in the kitchen, again, the next morning.

" Pancake", Namjoon says, gaining a hum from Yoongi as he propped himself on the counter.

Yoongi squints his eyes when he sees something different on their fridge. A sticky note.

He steps down from his seat, and walks -more like waddles- to there, taking the sticky notes.

"What is it, Joon?", he asks. Not aware how fast Namjoon turns his body and blush covering his cheeks.

" Shit, you're not supposed to see that"

Yoongi laughs, his shoulder shakes, "Seriously, Joonie? " Don't cook eggs. Yoongi hates eggs. Eggs ❌" ?"

Namjoon groans, taking the notes from Yoongi that still chuckling. "I just dont want to make you accidentally sick again"

"Oohh, you're down bad for me Joon-ah"

Namjoon rolls his eyes, "Shut up hyung"

[everafterkeiji]

Summary: The so-called chemistry between you two is superbly deadly, so why not take it to the next level?

Pairings: Testurou Kuroo x fem!reader

Word count: 5.3k

Tags, Genre: fake lovers! trope, slight angst

A/N: 🤺 stay back🤺feelings🤺

Maybe you should've disagreed on the 10th time or maybe the 8th or 11th?

Honestly, there was no stopping the couple of the year.

"She didn't really say yes at first but with a little push of love she finally did." Kuroo comments, a drink in hand as you smiled against his side, with his arm around you.

"Please, I didn't need a push. I was too in love with the dumbass to say no." Your relatives practically awe at your comment while Kuroo kisses the top of your head, as you smile to sell the deal.

"What are you guys planning on after you graduate? I hope you two continue to stay like this." One of your relatives says as you both recall the plan.

"Moving in doesn't sound so bad, right babe?" He asks you while you sip your drink, feeling his hand slide down to your waist while they cheer at his dialogue.

"I wish young love looked like this when I had it!"

"Y/N is so lucky!"

"Tetsu is the best man for Y/N!"

Sighing with pain to your gums, you spoke.

"Excuse me, I'm just going to refill my drink. Coming babe?"

"Of course, bub." He says before excusing himself as well, while he walks away, his hand loses contact with your waist knowing there wasn't a sight of anyone else in the kitchen apart from you and him.

And cut.

"I thought our fourth line was that we would take things slow—what you said was literally our fifth line, Tetsu. It's too early." You say as you actually refilled your cup as Kuroo sighs but he smiles, leaning on the wall looking at you.

"Well might as well go all out, I'm not an actor for nothing, babe." You sigh as you drank as Kuroo pats your hair, after a sip, you let out a chuckle.

"Actually, their reactions were everything." You say as Kuroo smiles before setting down the cup on the table.

"Did you see your grandmother? She's going to beg you to wear her wedding dress now." He jokes while you shake your head, denying the offer.

You introduced your relatives to him last year, he was thankful that you trusted him this well to get this far in your family. You hated how they fell into this little trap of yours but it was still entertaining to see them act like this, even if guilt trailed alongside it.

"Seriously, do we go over line 5 now?" You asked with a slight smirk as Kuroo intertwined his hands with yours, with the other ready to open the door.

"We'll see how our audience reacts first, babe."

-

"You did not— you guys are taking this too far. How are you feeling?" Yaku asks through the phone as you bit down on your finger as you tried to come up with another excuse to why you keep allowing yourself in this position.

"I'm fine Yaku seriously! Me and Kuroo are staying at this hotel because of the whole family event earlier." You ran a hand through your hair, feeling the stress set in that you were actually sleeping in the same room as him.

This faux relationship has never led to this point. Kuroo has asked you for permission in case he were to kiss your cheek, hand, or forehead and you allowed yourself every time because this is what you got yourself into in the first place.

You agreed because it didn't bring your heart leaps of excitement—not even a sight of a butterfly in your system.

No matter how many times he's held your hand or planted a kiss on your temple, it didn't feel like Cupids touch— the arrows of love purposely hitting you in the wrong places. You initially thought that it was actually risky, to find yourself falling sooner than expected but a year into this 'relationship' you actually enjoyed the experience without having your heart miss a beat because of it all.

Your bond with Kuroo can only be described by the words bickering and platonic. Because of the way you interact with each other and how you constantly visit each others places, everyone could see where this friendship could end up so you took this advantage just for people to avoid the both of you which turns out to be the opposite, now everyone wanted to dig themselves in the news that you actually got together.

"Y/N- Kuroo please explain your work here on the table." You had your experiment carefully in your hands as Kuroo guides you to the table as you went on with your explanation. The teacher was well impressed with the two of you with how prepared you are, you can thank Kuroo for that and your ability to act like you've got your shit together.

"This is why we-" You two said it in sync making the two of you stare at each other as Kuroo chuckles continuing the explanation while you were left to stay silent with the glares from the girls who admired him—and the boys who liked you sent their threats to Kuroo just by glancing at him.

"Thank you, good job you two. I see that chemistry suits the both of you." Your teacher comments and as you walked away you rolled your eyes, disgusted at the corny joke.

"It's working too well actually."

Someone shut him up. You think as you felt the urge to give him a punch to shoulder. Kuroo was dragging more attention to the two of you and you hated it. You knew they were all jokes from your classmates but Kuroo kept feeding and responding to these claims, now you were the center of curiosity.

"Tetsu, I will shove a foot down your throat." You threatened when you were back to your chairs he shrugged making you more irritated.

"It shut them up didn't they? Let's fake it instead." He suggests, now making you slap his arm but his smirk remained on his lips.

"Dumbass, we'd be surrounded with questions and attention- I hate this idea already."

"What about the free couple food and drinks at the mall? You don't wanna experience that?"

"You are not using that card on me, Tetsurou." You said pouting as your chemistry teacher sends a suspicious eye to the both of you, also signalling for you two to stay quiet.

"I know you and you know me well enough that this isn't gonna lead into an actual relationship plus my dad has been bugging me about a girlfriend for weeks." You sigh as Kuroo extends his hand to you, to finalize this outrageous deal.

Looking at where you are now, you wouldn't have it any other way even if it was odd to fake date your best friend. You wouldn't agree if you didn't trust Kuroo to an extent. He would never do anything that makes you uncomfortable, he dragged you into this so he was always careful with his actions. It was always your feelings before his even if his jokes didn't show it.

Kuroo enters the room with a yawn just as you ended the call with Yaku. You patted the space next to you as he plops down on the bed, his head on your lap as you ran your hair through his dark locks.

"Is my boyfriend exhausted from the attention?" You asked him with a giggle as he closes his eyes, in a trance at your fingers doing him magic as you continued.

"Isn't that the girlfriends job to comfort me?" He says, making you smile. There really wasn't any meaning to his words, you were glad that the two of you were sure that everything is a joke. If not, then maybe you two are absolutely fucked.

"Is it okay for you to sleep here? I can always drive us home if you want." You shake your head no as you leaned your back in the soft pillow, relaxing a bit.

" 'S fine, Tetsu. Looks like we're gonna have to sleep here for a while huh?" He sighs before sitting up and leaning on a pillow as well before planting his head on your shoulder, his hand comfortably resting on your knee. It was a habit he had whenever he comforted you in your sorrow but it grew when he does it under the table when you sat next to each other.

Kuroo denies that he's doing this because he just wants to feel close to you. He may be in a sea of people but if he holds onto you, he forgets them in a second. There's always a possibility for him to feel lonely in a crowd but this feeling washes away when he has a chance to feel you around him.

"Tell me if somethings wrong yeah?" He says softly as you nod and he leans to your body more, feeling drowsy at the warmth you gave.

"I do find you annoying, that's a problem right there." You joke as he rolls his eyes and pulling away from you and transferring to the right side of the bed.

"Good night then." He says stubbornly, covering his ears with the pillow while you laugh before going to the right side and drowning in the blankets.

"Night, Kuroo." You bid him as you turn off the lights.

-

The next morning you really wished you didn't give in to him.

Tangled in each others arms, the blankets scattered everywhere as Kuroo was snuggled into your neck when you woke up. It's difficult to move without worrying about him waking up, so you had to move little by little. First, you slowly remove his arm that was on your waist. Second, you tried to rest his head on the pillow instead of you. Third, you scurry away from him successfully.

All of these were disregarded when he pulls you back into his arms, mumbling something while you mentally groan. Kuroos fingers continued to gaze itself on your skin while you sighed, accepting it as it is.

"Tetsu-"

"Five minutes." He whispers not minding the state he's in. He moves away from you when he realizes the sleepiness in him has faded. He stretches, making you stand up and fix your appreance. He sits up after a few seconds and you turn to look at him and his bed hair which never fails to make you laugh.

"I don't allow bullying this early." He says as he throws on a proper shirt. You decided to fix the bed while he brushes his teeth.

"Tonight's the party right?" You asked him as he nods before spitting out the residue of the toothpaste. You went through your bag plotting out the outfits you could wear later. The event was a wedding week of your relatives and it was also an opportunity to set out your weekly episode of a relationship.

It's currently Saturday and the wedding is tomorrow. Tonight was basically a party for both sides of the family. One for the bride and one for the groom. You gave Kuroo a fair warning about their traits when they were drunk but you guys are third years—you've seen how people acted when they were intoxicated.

"Should we just drop line 6?" He jokes, making you throw a pillow directly to his face.

Let's do a role call on these lines.

Line 1 was the backstory of your lovestory. Silly as it may come to others, all these excellent lies were planned beforehand. Each and every one of them. To the date where you confessed, to the exact details on each memory, to the date you officially started dating and of course it included the story that Kuroo has told one too many times already, like a script he remembers with no trace of mistake.

Line 2 were the filler memories. Random come ups of dates and embarrassing stories to grab their attentions in each gathering. Though, this line is the most truthful then the rest. Some of these stories are actually true to life but those that are too romantically disgusting? You can thank your imaginations for that.

Line 3 is the talk of seriousness. Love has actually blossomed by then. It consisted of stories of who said "I love you" first and who actually fell first in the relationship. Mentions of what moment made them realize how in love you were and precious memories that could make everyone long for a companion like yours.

Line 4 is fake maturity at its finest. Why not look like the perfect couple there is to exist? This was sort of a pit stop in your 'relationship'. This is where Kuroo narrows down the pace of you two by throwing some lines like "We're too young to decide for something that big." And "We never know what happens in the future."

Line 5 is moving in with each other. God, you even looked for proper apartments just so you don't mess up a question. You were graduating after all so it was inescapable to talk about your upcoming plans together.

Line 6 shouldn't be used. That's talks of marriage and god— adulting. You two inserted this line as a mere joke knowing once you've gone through college, all these lines would simply disappear because they could never ask about you two anymore. If parents loved something about couples, it's the talk of marriage. Luckily, you and Kuroo hate the topic and simply agreed that this should be avoided at all costs.

"Never." You say as he hands you the pillow you threw before setting it back on the bed. You share a look to each other while you head out of your room to meet with his family.

Hours later, you got distracted in the sensation of his hands intertwined with yours.

Kuroo has subconsciously done it again. Underneath the table, swiping his thumb on the palm of your hand while his expression doesn't even show the slightest bit of interest in what he's doing below. Occasionally, Kuroo would send you a text on how boring the conversation was going so you'd bring up a topic for the both of you.

"You ok?" He asks while you smile at him before leaning your head on his shoulder, suddenly exhausted with wondering about him.

"I'm fine, babe." You say while he forgets the noise in the background. The nickname slipping of your lips so easily, even when you didn't need to call him that.

"Wanna go back to our room?" That was what you wanted anyway but was it rude to walk out of gatherings like this?

"Is that fine with you?" You asked looking up to meet his eyes.

"As long as your okay." He says, making your heart give out a pocket of panic.

You stood up with him following behind you. He was genuinely concerned with you so he catches up to you, slinging his arm around your shoulder bringing you close to him.

"Thanks, Tetsu." You bid him as he opens the door for you. You lied down on the bed as Kuroo sits beside you.

"You sure you're okay? I can tell them that you can't attend the party if you're sick."

"I just got really bored and distracted back there. I'm sorry if I made you worry." Kuroo flicks your forehead with his finger making you say "ow."

"Stop saying sorry, dumbass. You're my priority either way."

Stop. No. Never, remember? You think to yourself.

"Is it because I'm your 'girl?' "

"You've always been my girl, what are you talking about?" He says raising an eyebrow at you while you hit him with a pillow, confused to why your cheeks became warm at his statement.

"Oi, what was that for!" He says before throwing a pillow at you as an act of revenge. Still flushed from earlier, you threw another pillow at him. You couldn't even respond to him without telling your heart to calm down.

"You know what? Let's just watch a movie to pass some time." You suggested taking your laptop while Kuroo stares at you, bewildered at how swift your mood changes.

"Women confuse me. Especially you, god- you remind me of Bokuto. Now scooch over, lady."

-

I really am lucky.

Kuroo thinks to himself while he watches you twirl around the mirror for the 5th time just to temporarily assure your insecurities.

Your outfit fits you like a glove. Hugging every curve of your body, the fabric decorating you with its design. Shades of dark colors on your eyes and a tempting lip color that drives Kuroo insane with this new found thought.

"Before you can ask me, you look amazing Y/N- I don't think that's enough to describe how you look tonight." He says, almost out of breath. You quickly get flustered, turning to notice his outfit. Eyes daring up and down, taking in every bit of the stunning middle blocker.

"Hopefully I can remind you that my eyes are up here." He takes a step towards you, inches away from your nose as he studies your appearance. You just stand out, like a star blinding him. Dangerous as it is, he stares the longest at your lips.

"Y/N? Honey, our ride is here! Tell Kuroo that the guys are looking for him as well!" Your aunt shouts making Kuroo step back, not wanting a problem to surface upon the deal.

"We can meet here at 10pm if you ever feel bored okay?" You nod at him as he places a kiss on your forehead.

"Noted." You said smiling at him, you honestly forgot to thank him for the compliment but the way your eyes danced around him gave him an answer already.

"I'll see you in a bit."

-

Kuroo feels the need to step out of this party. It wasn't like he didn't enjoy the stories of your uncles but this wasn't a circle he could fit into. Sure, the karaoke was humourous to watch but there was a need for him to be alone with you instead.

So, he dials your phone.

"Kuroo? What is it?" You asked him, escaping the noise of your aunties laughing as you went to the balcony.

"Just checking in on you, you good?"

"Is this a signal that you wanna leave babe?" You said chuckling, Kuroo smiles while he stands up to meet with your relatives to bid them goodbye.

"Sadly, yes and you?"

"I'll be there."

Few minutes passed as Kuroo got to your location. He couldn't allow you to commute when you looked that stunning, he was there to keep you safe at all times so you spent your time with silence in a cab back to the hotel. Kuroo didn't wanna talk about the party because he felt too drained to do it.

He takes his jacket and places it on your shoulders while you pull them closer to your body.

You two were seated on the bed while Kuroo removes your heels and setting them on the floor next to your other pairs of shoes. After removing them, you travel to the kitchen and sit on the sink as you drank water. Kuroo follows you with him beside you, leaning on it.

Why is it so quiet? You wondered.

Usually, Kuroo would make remarks or just bring up a conversation with you but you two just sat there with thoughts lingering around each other. While you set down the glass, Kuroo sets himself between your legs making your eyes widen while he sets his hands on either side your hip.

"What's on your mind? You do know that your silence is too loud for me." He says stroking your sides, making you trapped in a heated moment.

"Tetsu-"

"You've been off all morning. What's going on, Y/N?" He asks with sincerity. Ever since breakfast, all he's noticed is how your eyes never dared to stare back at his. How fidgety you were with his hand in yours, the way you'd gaze off into a state of thinking for a few seconds and your hands would feel cold compared to his.

"I- I don't know." You said honestly. There was a block in your mind and your heart. You couldn't notice how you were acting because there's a certain discussion that you unintentionally avoid. Was it the panic Kuroo set your heart in? Is it the way his skin on yours makes you wanna melt?

Was it the butterfly fluttering in you when he said you were his?

"Maybe you're just falling in love with me." Kuroo whispers leaning his face close to yours. God, he was joking. He should be but with his body moving without his system functioning before his orders, he was doomed already.

Unexpectedly, you leaned closer.

You could feel how Kuroo held his hand firmer to your hip while he continues to take away the centimeters in the space you had left. Tilting his head, his lips were impeccably close to yours, threatening you with how you wished they'd be on you already.

But what if I am?

"Isn't that part of the game?" You whispered back, as he steps away. The moment washes over him making his knees almost give out at what he just wanted to do. You sighed as he walks away, leaving you stranded in a pool of questionable feelings.

Your hearts were screaming. What foolishness did you insert yourself in? Kuroo felt like he shouldn't have walked away and chose the fatal move by kissing you the way he always wanted to do but he had to avoid the tightening of his chest.

No one can win in a battle of temptations, especially when your lips were calling his name.

You removed yourself from the sink while you entered your shared bed seeing Kuroo tucked in the sheets, obviously hiding.

You hopped on the either side of the bed with a sigh as you tried to silence out the voices in your head.

I don't want to be in this with you anymore.

-

It wasn't a surprise to see the left side of the bed empty. The moment you woke up, the both of you weren't ready to converse what happened last night, especially the middle blocker. It was his move and you couldn't even manage to move on your own after it. Now what surrounds the room is unresolved tension.

You finally got out of bed, stepping into the bathroom to brush your teeth, locking the door to leave you at peace with your mind. You decided to take a shower knowing the time of the wedding.

Kuroo comes back from grabbing your breakfast. He sees the impact of what happened last night. It was his fault for leaving without explanation now he has to endure the coldness of it all.

He hears the water running so he leans his forehead on the door, his heart wanting nothing more then for everything to be the way it was before.

"If only you knew." He whispers before gathering his tux for the event, sighing to himself.

When you walk out with a towel on, hair dripping droplets, he turns away immediately while you felt the frustration grew in how he was acting.

During your shower, you chose to base your actions with your brain instead of your heart. It can never lead you to proper decisions. Kuroo was making the situation worse—you had expected him to act like nothing happened the next day, maybe then things would have been easier.

"Have you eaten breakfast?" You asked him while he gives you a nod.

Speak to me please.

"I'll go get ready then." There was no point in hoping for a response from him and you grew tired because of it.

His mouth couldn't agree with his mind. He was caught up on if he wanted to apologize or act like nothing happened. He couldn't read your emotions properly even if he feels like he should 'cause if not then this going to grow into something you could both hate.

He's in between of thinking if you want things to be 'normal' or if you want some sort of explanation from him. He also feels like you'd escape the conversation seeing that you leaned in as well, which surprised him. He just can't face it, he can't bring up the words to express how right it felt even if it was wrong.

Still, both ways has his heart still long for you. The regret hasn't died in his body and he wishes it would.

"What time do you think they'll take us to the venue?" Your voice makes him awake somehow, he turns to see applying your makeup in the dress that the bride suggested you'd wear. Just like yesterday, he was struck again. The way the white stood out with the faint details of the dress had you glow like a star he wishes on.

"I don't know." He responds, he fell short on his words and there was still a clear state of hesitation that follows him.

You were fueled by him, yet this fire couldn't be held back.

Kuroo sees the way you drop the brush, leaving a sound echo through the silence he made, the way your heels clicked when you walked right up to him, a weak feeling setting in him knowing your stare was digging holes in his head as he looks at you.

"I think you're forgetting that you moved first."

You say, making him sweat under the confrontation but you let your words show how he managed to place your heart in your hands.

"So why act like we didn't want the same thing?"

You had him stunned. There weren't proper thoughts that ran in his mind, some parts of him still bringing him back to what happened last night and the other wanted to look into the future which was looking unsteady.

"We wouldn't want to ruin our deal, right?" His tone was laced with a threat. He couldn't even set his decisions right. Just blurting out words he thought was enough for the both of you.

"Kuroo, that wasn't an act." You argued making him crumble with another mistake in his response. You both felt it and there wasn't a way to act all blind to it. You were aware and admitted it to him face to face. That was the confirmation he needed to get his heart removed from its knots.

"Y/N-"

You step closer to him, a firm finger on his chest while your eyes stayed on

"If the show is more important to you, then let's call it like nothing happened."

While you give a push to his chest, you turned your back to him hoping it'd make him walk to you and tell you his genuine feelings.

But your heels lead you away from him and his feet remained glued to the floor.

-

They say weddings brought people together to celebrate love.

That is- the love that circled between you two is an experiment you'll never understand.

As you went to the wedding, everyone looked at this perfect couple who radiated silent rage with each other.

Kuroo feels the sting in his heart when you were forced to hold his hand and stick around him. Your voice portrayed it so easily- like this role of being his girlfriend was a reflex, something that you know by the back of the hand.

Meanwhile, he's forgotten his lines.

His expressions, the nicknames guardedly falling off his lips, the shaking hands that roamed around your waist, he was falling apart.

Suddenly, forgetting his role and searching for the script of reality.

Everyone can see it. The way you smiled and tried to avoid questions of why you both seems so close but feel so distant with each other. You'd laugh it off or change the topic to the lovely couple instead, even the bride could sense it.

While the ceremony begins, Kuroo couldn't stop looking at your direction. How could he not when his eyes loved the sight of you? Disregarding the tone of your voice earlier that scared the wits out of him, the way you strutted in that dress of yours still had his heart held captive.

Meanwhile, you kept your eyes busy by trying to focus on the couple. If you didn't control yourself, you would drown in him. Did that tux really have to be perfect in him? The way his hair was actually swept back with gel, exposing a new level of attraction for you.

For a second, Kuroo looks away knowing you'd never look his way the same way again.

And Cupid was sure to hit you right this time.

"Honey, you've shown me love in ways I never knew you could do. At first, I was scared. You know me- love is a deadly road but you drove me to the safest place. Love is scary but with you— I'm willing to fear it as long as I'm yours." The bride vows making some of your relatives form tears in their eyes at the beautiful choice of words.

You bit your lip, finding it ironic how it fits you. You were sure as hell scared. Knowing Kuroo and having to experience a bond with him and it could all end because of a mere kiss. You weren't ready to lose, both in love and in this level of fate.

"I've never said it before but I was scared too. It doesn't show- I know. Losing you is something that haunts me for the rest of my life, it's cliche but what's love without you? Even if I'm having some trouble in saying it, I love you and I don't think I can ever lie about that." The groom says while the bride wipes away her tears, fanning her eyes.

Didn't that just took the words right out of Kuroo?

He gulps, looking at you as you also turned to look at him. An antsy feeling settling in your bodies, the number of butterflies swarming around you was increasing with every word that replays in your minds.

Minutes pass as the newly married couple kiss, making you both awaken at the sound of cheers from your relatives. You stood up from your seat, joining the crowd as they watch the two walk down the path smiling at each other.

Kuroo was on the other side, joined by your male relatives while you were on the side with your aunties. Both of you were tremendously nervous. You decided to avert your eyes on the bride as she readies herself to thow the boquet of bright flowers.

You sighed as you decided to walk away but destiny tugs on your motives.

Time slows down as the boquet thrown in the air was circling around while they all watched on whose lucky hands it lands on. They all tried to reach it, believing in the myth that surrounded it.

Dropping an item from your bag, you bent down to pick it up but what made your eyes widen was the sight of the fallen flowers in front of you and everyone that surrounded you, disappeared in your mind.

Picking it up slowly, the boquet resting in your hand as you admired each flower but your heart was struck like an arrow hittings its target point.

Kuroo held his breath, clenching his hands as he stood there.

Giving one last glance to the boquet, your eyes finally met Kuroos astounded ones and the world goes into a blur while he remained to stay focused in your line of sight.

Just like that, Cupid lands a bullseye to both hearts.

[asleepinawell]

Been having a lot of Thoughts about the nier series recently and the larger themes of both games and wanted to jot them down and toss them into the void of the internet.

Massive spoilers for nier automata follow, including for ending e. Do not read this if you ever intend to play nier automata. There are spoilers for nier replicant as well, though not for ending e.

One of the biggest themes both nier games tackle is the tragedy of an uncaring universe. Bad things happen to good people, people who think they're good and doing the right thing find out they were actually committing atrocities, the very idea that there's 'good' and 'bad' people is dissected and rejected. At the end of the day, the universe doesn't give a shit about any of us and none of it matters. Enjoy your existential despair!

In nier replicant, the main character starts off as an optimistic young boy who wants to save, not only his sister, but the entire world. After the time skip, nier is a young man whose optimism has (partially) been tarnished and whose goal has narrowed down to just saving his sister. As you move through each route you understand more and more how tragic the world is and how, despite your best intentions, you are only adding to the tragedy of the world. The original 4 endings of nier replicant are all tragic in some way. Ending D has a glimmer of hope in it in the form of nier being able to save kainé at the cost of his own existence, but it's a bittersweet ending and the world is ultimately doomed anyway.

Which brings us to nier automata. Even more so than replicant, automata hammers home the meaningless of everything, the uncaring universe, tragedy both avoidable and unavoidable. The main characters are locked in an endless loop of violence and despair. The worst that could happen, does, again and again. It thrives off the type of tragedy porn I usually hate.

Except....

Except it doesn't. If endings a and b are the opening statement, endings c and d are the facts and body of the essay, but then there's ending e, the concluding paragraph which takes everything we've been told and gives you the chance to draw your own conclusion from it.

Route e starts after you've gotten both ending c and d and is no longer about the characters in the game at all. Route e is about you, the player, and what you believe. It says "we've given you a story of complete despair, we've shown you the universe is unfair and doesn't give a fuck about you, we've shown you things that end in tragedy. despite all of this, do you still believe it's worth fighting for the hope of something better?"

And then it asks you to prove it.

Route e is the ending every fan has asked for when they've said "I'll fight the creators to give my favs a happy ending." Today is your lucky day!

Route e is the ending credits of the game, except that the ending credits have turned into a bullet hell mini game. In fighting the actual credits themselves, you are fighting the game devs. You are saying fuck you I don't believe that everything is pointless. Fighting for better is always worth it. The meaning that we imbue in life is important to us and that matters.

The bullet hell of the end credits starts out fairly simple and gets harder and harder as you go, lasting something like 15 minutes total, which is a brutally long time to be playing something that requires split second timing and 100% of your focus. It's meant to feel insurmountable, just like the challenges the characters in the game faced (the larger plot challenges, not the combat). You will likely die a lot and check points are few and far between.

But there's more to it than that. The first time you die, a prompt comes up:

And then when you die again:

Except now, there’s a message on the screen. A message that appears to be from another player, somewhere in the world.

And again:

(this one really fucked me up, but that’s for a different post).

And then finally:

(thank you user MR-YE-1996)

When you accept the rescue offer, you go back to the bullet hell again, but now you have a wall of other players around your weak little avatar, shielding you from harm. The music, which has been a single vocal track up until now, gains an entire chorus of voices to represent the army of actual players who’ve shown up to save you (and there’s a lot I could say about the use of the (exquisitely good) music in the nier games, and especially about the difference in lyrical themes between ashes of dreams and weight of the world). Every time a bullet hits one of the players surrounding you, there’s a message saying that user’s data has been lost. Users from all over the world are sacrificing themselves to help you. It’s a very nice, heart-warming moment that you still don’t understand the full impact of quite yet.

After you beat the credits, you’re rewarded by a final cutscene. The android protagonists have been reconstructed and will receive a second chance at life. The narration at this point talks about how life exists within the spiral of life and death we are all trapped in. One of the two pods talking points out that even though the androids are being given a second chance at life, there’s a possibility that things will go just as poorly once again. And the other pod agrees, but adds: “However, the possibility of a different future also exists.”

And then the scene ends with this quote: “A future is not given to you. It is something you must take for yourself.”

And this is really the final conclusion of the game. There is no inherent meaning in the universe, so the meaning we give our lives is the most meaningful thing. (And the ‘you’ here isn’t necessarily an individual either. It can be, or it can be humanity as a whole, or even one group). And you, the player, thought that it was worth fighting to give these characters a second chance, and other players out there in the world thought it was worth helping you to do so.

It’s such a wonderfully beautiful piece of meta interpretation posing as a game ending, and also a departure from the final conclusion of previous Yoko Taro games. It feels like a much more mature and nuanced interpretation of the world than the ending of replicant was (I won’t comment on the new ending e of replicant just yet since it didn’t come out that long ago). (Also, for the record, I love nier replicant and the characters in it with my entire heart. This post is not bashing it).

But the game has one more surprise in store for you. After the cutscene ends, you’re given one last choice. The game asks if you have any interest in helping other players the way you were helped. And if you say yes, you’re told that the only way you can do this is to sacrifice all your save data.

I think that sacrifice hits differently for different people. Some people genuinely won’t mind that at all. As someone who probably still has save data from games I played 20 years ago, it felt like a gut punch. To me, save data represents all the time and emotion and energy I’ve put into a game. Games are so deeply important to me in so many ways and have been since my childhood when they were one of the few ways I could escape from a lot of terrible shit going on in my life. (There’s a reason my blog title is what it is). I could talk a lot more about that point, but I’ll leave it by saying that when I saw what the game was asking of me it felt like someone had knocked my legs out from under me.

For more practical players, it also is locking you out of chapter select, the best way to go back and get all the things you missed and grab the achievements/trophies you still need.

The game will point out that you’ll get nothing in return for this (not a lie, there’s no secret reward), that you will likely never know if or who you helped, that you won’t be thanked, that the person you help could be someone you intensely dislike, etc. And with all of this comes the realization that all those people who came to help you in the credits had already done this. Those people whose data was sacrificed to help you get to the final cutscene had already sacrificed their save data to help you.

We’ve now gone from a world where everything is meaningless, to a world where other real actual human beings out there have sacrificed something that represented hours of their time and a varying amount of emotional investment without any hope of reward to help a stranger see a message of hope.

When I was younger, I was more drawn to dark, hopeless stories. Stories about how dark and meaningless the world was. The world was a terrible place then too. 9/11 happened when I was in highschool (an incident that influenced yoko taro’s creation of nier replicant and had a huge impact on me at the time), the pointless wars that happened after and the recession and a million other things seemed to infuse everything with hopelessness. In that world, stories about everything being meaningless and hopeless felt correct. They felt validating. Yes, everything really does suck that much!

That sort of story lost its appeal for me later on. Pointless and horrible things continued to happen, and still continue to happen. The world events of the last few years have been an unnerving reliving of those earlier years, except even worse. The cycles of tragedy are still there with no end in sight. I’m exhausted from all of it. It really does feel hopeless a lot.

But stories that stop at that point no longer appeal to me. Stories like nier automata--stories that say yes, things are terrible, but there’s always hope, you can create your own meaning, it is always worth it to fight for better even if you fail, your life is worthwhile simply for existing--those stories are the ones I think we all need more than anything.

[127-mile]

Une seconde avant noël.

Pairing: Lee Ten x reader.

Genre: Christmas, exes, fake dating, feelings realization / Fluff, angst.

Warnings: Vulgar language, alcohol consumption.

Word count: +5.2k.

Prompt chosen: It’s Christmas Eve. It’s the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be.

Plot: What an idea to break up before Christmas, Ten thinks, as he announces to his mother that yes, you will indeed be present at the annual party organized for Christmas Eve.

A/N: This is part of the Walking in a winter wonderland collab hosted by @suh-insane​ and @neocitybynight​.

"Do you always have to be in my way? Fuck Ten, be careful where you are going!" you growl, looking at the content of the box strewn on the floor. You have a ton of work to finish if you want to have a meal break, and Ten really is not making it easy for you. "You piss me off." you mumble as you kneel to retrieve the glitter bloxes, and sigh in exasperation when you notice of them opened. You'll find glitter everywhere for a month at this point. Who is stupid enough to think of glitter as a passable Christmas present for a child, you think, rolling your eyes.

"Can't you be polite? We have customers, damn it!" you turn your face to Ten who looks at you as if you caused the accident yourself when this idiot was hunched over his phone at the time of the impact. "And you, can't you at least pretend to work instead of checking how many sluts you'll be able to bring in your dingy apartment this weekend?" you stuff the glitters into the box while huffing, you can't take any more. If you didn't need the money so much, you would quit your job this instant.

Ten's chuckle is enough to make you angry once again. You can not stand hearing him and his stupid laugh anymore, and if you looked up at him, you would see his annoying little smile. "Are you jealous?" he asks, and you bite your lip so as not to laugh. They are causing enough commotion in the middle of the store, you do not need your boss to come and see what's going on. "Jealous? But why would I be jealous, Ten. You really need to take the time to think and calm your fucking ego, it's not good for you."

"I'm not saying you are jealous, I'm just saying that worrying about who I can bring back to my apartment is suspicious." you look at him, shaking your head. God damn his face would be beautiful with your fist pressed against. "You're so full of yourself Ten. I don't care what garbage you take home, all I want is for you to get down to work, before if you haven't noticed yet, it is almost Christmas and the store is full of customers."

"Garbage?" he asks, tilting his head, and you turn on your heels. "As far as I know, I took you back to my apartment at one point." it is too much for you. You leave the arts and crafts section, and you put the box at the feet of one of your colleagues who looks at you, incredulous. "I'm going to be sick, can you take care of it." you are not sick, but if you stay with Ten for a minute longer, you will eventually be.

You ignore a client who ask you about an interactive teddy bear they sac on TV, and you know it's wrong, but you have no choice, or you'll end up spitting your venom on a poor innocent person who wants nothing more than to please someone for Christmas. You push the door to the break room, and you walk to the bathroom. As you thought, it's empty. The boss doesn't allow anyone to go while they are working.

You push the door open, and you sit on the closed toilet. It is not the cleanest place, but it is the only place where you'll have time to think, and where you can calm your sudden urges for murder. It's sad to see where the relationship between you and Ten is. It was not always like that. There was a time when you weren't insulting each other at any opportunity, when you could smile at each other without wanting to throw up. There was a time when you were in love, and convinced that you would spend the rest of your life together.

You tense when you hear the door open, and you remain silent, pressing your hand against your mouth, as if it would help you go unnoticed when your feet are visible under the door gap. "Y/n?" of course, there is only Ten to follow you to the toilet. He approaches the door and you see by his movements that he sits on the floor. You grimace, because you do not know how long the cleaning person has stopped washing the once white tiles.

"Ten, it's disgusting on the floor." you mumble, and hear him sigh. "What do you want? What's important enough for you to follow me into the bathroom?" you ask in a voice barely above a whisper. "I am sorry." he says, and you shake your head. This is not the first time you've found yourselves apologizing to each other after a little quarrel in the middle of the store, and you know it won't be the last time either.

"We only have one week left before Christmas, after that we won't have to see each other as much anymore. Can't we make an effort to ignore each other?" your voice is so weak, Ten feels his heart skip a beat. He never wanted the situation between the two of you to become so chaotic. He wanted nothing more than to be happy. Be happy with you.

"But- but I don't want to ignore you." Ten answers, and you get up to open the door. The boy almost rocks forward, since his forehead was pressed against the door. "Ten, you need to learn about the existence of germs on the bathrooms." he smiles weakly, and he stands up too, dusting his uniform pants. "What do you propose?" you ask, cocking your head.

"We're burying the hatchet." Ten crosses his arms against his chest, and you sigh. "Ten, we've already tried dozens of times since we broke up, and it always comes back to the same scenario. It's useless."

For the first time since they broke up, you do not pull back when he puts his hand on your arm. "But we can try. For real this time. We were friends before we were a couple, maybe we can be again?" there is so much hope in his voice, and in his eyes, that you can't afford to deny him anything. "We can try." you finally say, and Ten's smile is so bright that you could almost be blinded.

"Perfect! So will you come with me to the party my parents are hosting for Christmas Eve?" he asks, and this time, you pull back at his touch, and you clench your fist to punch him in the shoulder. He whines loudly and you refrain from not doing it again. "You asshole! Why are you doing this to me?" Every year, the Lee family host a Christmas Eve party. It's always lavish, with beautiful decorations, and exquisite food. You loved spending Christmas Eve with Ten's family. So reminding you that you will not be attending this year hurts.

"But I'm serious!" he explains by rubbing his shoulder. He takes a step back to make sure he doesn't get another hit, he knows you all too well. "You are invited." you frown as you dig your hands into the pockets of your pants. "We are not together anymore, why would you parents invite me?" for a moment Ten looks embarrassed, and he is unable to meet your gaze. "Ten, what are you hiding from me?" he hops from one foot to the other, and you are ready to ask him if he feels like pissing when he opens his mouth to explain. "It may well be that I didn't tell my parents we broke up."

"But why Ten? You told me you did! It's been months now." the fact that he is embarrassed is at least a good thing, he is still human. "I was going to do it, I promise, but my mom started talking about the party, and hse said she missed you and really can't wait to see you. You know how much my mom adores you, I didn't want to break her heart!"

It's really mean to include his mother and her love for you in the story, because he knows you considered Ten's mother like your own when you first met her. "I'll tell them everything after the holidays, I promise! If you come, I'll never ask you anything again, and I'll disappear if that's what you want."

"I hate you, Ten." even though it's a phrase he doesn't like to hear, he knows you do not mean it. At least that's what he hopes, because he doesn't know what he would do if you really hated him. "So?" he asks in a whisper, and you roll your eyes. "I'll come, but this will be the last time I do anything for you. Anything, do you hear me?"

He nods, and he smiles once more. "Good, very good! We'll take my car, and I won't carge you for your share of the gasoline, don't worry." he is so excited that you start to feel the excitement too, but you do not show him, no. You walk to the bathroom door, it's time for you to get back to work, but before you leave, you turn to Ten. "I need my day tomorrow, so I'll let you tell the boss you're going to use your day off to replace me."

The following week is the calmest week you've had since breaking up with Ten. You meet in the store, but you ignore each other. Well, you ignore him every time he tries to talk to you, it's much better than insulting him until he resigns himself to being silent. And when Christmas Eve comes, you wonder if you really made the right decision by agreeing to follow Ten. And pretend to be his partner again.

You wait outside your apartment for Ten to arrive, your hands in the pockets of your coat, and your face niched in your scarf. The cold wind is whipping your face, and the snow have started to fall on the city which is festive with the fairy lights, the decorated trees in the streets, and the laughter of the locas who are eager to come home and celebrate Christmas Eve.

Thanks to Ten, you were able to get out of work early, and also, you won't be spending Christmas on your own. That's the only positive things you can find in this strange situation. Even your friends have told you to text Ten and cancel, they all think it's bad, and they think it will do them more harm than good. And you understand them, you too wonder what will happen after the party is over, once you have to go back to your routine without each other.

But that's life, and sometimes you have to make sacrifices to avoid hurting the people you love, you think with a sigh.

When you feel ready to freeze in place, Ten's car pulls up in front of you, and you huff. Finally. He gets out of the car, and he opens the door. Seeing him do that make you roll your eyes. "I can open a door." you mumble, and when he lifts his big shining eyes, you sigh. "You'll catch a cold, Tennie." he shakes his head, and you get in the car.

You feel a weight being lifted from your shoulder as your warm up, and Ten watches you, smiling when you take off your gloves. "You want a photo, it'll last longer." you say, and he shrugs. "I'm just glad to see you." yeah, you don't believe that lie, he must already be playing his part not to be caught off guard in front of his parents.

Ten starts the engine, and begins to drive out of town. "I had my mom on the phone earlier, she is excited to see you, and so is my dad." you hum. "Me too, I really missed them." Ten's lower lip juts out, and you avoid looking at him, he knows you are weak when he acts like that. But not tonight, no. "Ten, don't forget your promise. We can't do this at every family reunion, you know that, it'll only hurt more every time.

"Yes I know, and I will, I promised, didn't I?" you nod, and you turn your head towards the window. You watch the landscape gently getting cover by a thin layer of white snow as you approach the countryside. You love the city, yes, but you would love to be able to land in the countryside, and have a simple life, far from the hustle and bustle of the city.

The rest of the road is silent, and you slowly fall asleep, you head against the window, rocked by the vibrations. It's Ten's hand on your shoulder that wakes you up. He is out in the car, and you notice that it is now dark outside. You stand up, yawning. "We're here." he says. The Lee family house is impressive, and decorated with lights. It is really beautiful, and you expected no less from Mrs. Lee whose favorite holiday is Christmas.

You get your bag and get out of the car. Your legs are numb, so you take Ten's arm to avoid tripping in the snow. Yeah, that would be fun, but you do not really want to soil your clothes now. Maybe later. You stop in front of the door, and Ten turns to you. "Ready?" and when you nod, he knocks on the door.

It only takes a minute for the door to open on Ten's mother. She looks at the both of you, and she smiles with a sweetness all her own. "My loves, how happy I am to see you! Come in or you'll get sick." Ten lets you pass, and when you enter, you are immediately engulfed in a hug. You melt, you can't help it. You feel like coming home, and god damn your heart hurt at the realization.

Ten clears his throat, and you refrain from laughing. When Mrs. Lee lets you take a step back, you both turn to the boy who frowns. "Impatient." his mother says before taking him in her arms in turn, for a shorter moment. You are pretty proud of it. "Come into the living room, the guests have already arrived."

You follow her into the living room, and you greet the guests. You and Ten have been together for a few years, so you know all of the family and friends who are used to being invited every year. "Ah, the lovers have arrived!" his father says, and you nod. You put the gifts you brought in your bag at the foot of the three, and you smile. You had a great time looking for the perfect gifts.

Immediately, you are taken aside by Ten's sister who is surprised to see you here. She is the only one in this room, besides Ten himself, who knows about your situation. Because yes, maybe you were drunk one night and called her, crying to complain about the ordeal your life had been like since breaking up with Ten. Tern is younger, but she is quite scary, so you hardly swallow your saliva when she comes face to face with you.

"What is this mess?" she asks in a whisper. "Did you get back together?" you worry your lower lip, giving Ten a furtive glance, he seems to be in the middle of a heated discussion with his father, and you shake your head. "Ten didn't say anything to your parents, so he asked me to come over, so as not to break the holiday spirit." you mumble, and if the Lee family was not there, you know Tern would go and slap her brother right away.

"You both are idiots." Tern says, and you shoulders slup. "Are you masochistic or what? Do you like hurting yourself?" you do not know what to say, you are just here to help Ten. "I know it's not the right thing to do, but it's Christmas Eve, so I'm going to pretend it's okay, smile, laugh, and be happy beofre I go back everyday life without Ten."

Tern sighs, tilting her head. "Is that what you want?" she asks before resuming. "Go back to a life without Ten? Because a person who has no more feelings would never agree to help their ex." That's the question, you don't know how you feel, your head is empty and your heart is a mess, it's been like this since Ten left. So you shrug. "I don't know Tern."

As you are about to speak, you are called out by Ten's mother who beckons you to approach. "Come help me in the kitchen for a minute, please." you nod, apologizing to Tern before joining her. There's nothing more to do, so you frown. "It's the only way to have some time with you without Ten jumping on you." she explains, and you can't help but laugh. "He learned to behave in public, don't worry."

"Is everything okay?" Ten's mother asks, and you nod. She looks worried, and for a second, you feel ready to tell her everything, but you can't, you promised Ten, and as he said himself, he doesn't want to hurt her, and neither do you. Not tonight anyway. "I'm asking because it's been a while since we've last seen you."

You nod. It's true that before, you used to visit the Lee family a couple of times each month, even though Ten was busy at work, and even more during the month of December, used to help Mrs. Lee prepare Christmas Eve. But being convinced that Ten had warned his parents, you did not do it anymore, you found it inappropriate.

"I was overwhelmed with work, I'm so sorry. But it's true that I should at least give given you a call." you explain in a weak voice, and the older woman shakes her head, placing a hand on your shoulder. "You have a job, you have a life, you have you own family, so you don't have to apologize for not having time. I get it, I was your age once."

You blame yourself more and more for the pain you are going to cause her, but you bite the inside of your cheek. Sometimes things don't go as planned, and you have to adapt. "And with Ten, is everything going well?" the question you would have liked to avoid. But you smile. "Everything is not perfect every day, but we both make an effort, because our relationship deserves it." Ten's mother smiles, she is proud to hear that her son has matured enough to do whatever it takes to keep his relationship healthy, and going.

"Don't hesitate to tell me if he crosses the line, then I'll give him a piece of my mind, believe me!" you laugh softly. You know that Mrs. Lee is, and will always be, there to help you. At least for now. But you need to stop thinking about the future, and focus on the present. You need to enjoy this last night you have with your surrogate family. "Thank you Ms. Lee, I appreciate that."

When she offers to return to the living room so as not to worry the guests, you follow her. Ten is still talking with his father, but the conversation seems to have calmed down, and you are happy. You know that the two men are used to arguing, and you have witnessed some rather disturbing scenes already, and you do not want that to happen again. You do not want to have to pick up Ten again.

"Everything okay?" you jump when Ten comes up behind you, and you turn to him. His cheeks are flushed, and you pursue your lips to stifle a laugh. "Don't tell me, your grandmother's friend?" he shakes his head with a poud, he doesn't like it when old little ladies pull his cheeks, it hurts. "My poor child. Maybe she'll stop someday."

"When she is in a coffin, yeah." Ten mumbles, and you put your hand over your mouth. "Don't say such things, Tennie!" you giggle and he smiles. He likes to be the reason for your laughter. "But to answer your question, yes, everything is fine. Your sister was a little surprised to see me here, but outside of that, like clockwork!"

Ten nods, and takes a sip from his glass of wine. He looks around him. The three, the decorations, his family, their friends, and you, and for a minute, he completely forgets that things are not the same as last year. Nothing is as before, everything is only an act. And when he turns his head towards you, and sees the lights of the tree reflected in your eyes, he thinks to himself that maybe, it was not a good idea.

See, you and Ten had a long relationship. You are his first love, and he always hoped that you would be his last. And to be honest, he still hopes so. But he knows that despite everything that has happened, all the insults you have exchanged, it would take very little time for him to fall in love again. No, he wouldn't need time at all, he is still in love, he always will be, he knows it deep down inside of him. And seeing you here, acting as your girlfriend, knowing that you'll probably never will be again, hurts like a bitch.

You think the same, and it hurts you too, but you both have too much pride to say it.

You then meet around the table, enjoying a fabulous feast prepared by Mrs. Lee. That's what you'll missed the most, the food. Ten is next to you, and every now and then, he leans in to whisper a joke in your ear. It's a tradition that you have, you try to make the other laugh, and get all eyes on yourself, knowing that it will be too inappropriate for you to say the joke out loud. At least some things are not changing.

You honestly can't remember the last time you had such a good time with Ten without it ending in an argument. What you do not notice is Tern's gaze. She watches you both, frowning. She can read between the lines. She knows that you still love each other, but are also too stupid to admit it.

The meal stretches over two hours, and when you finish, a full stomach, and ready to explode, it's time to open the presents. You get up from your chair and collect the packages. You give one to Ten's parents, one to Tern, and the last one, you hand it to Ten who titls his head. "You didn't have to, you know." he says in a whisper, and you shrug. "I know, but I got it before.. well before you know what."

Ten also gives you a present, and you arch an eyebrow at him. "I didn't want to see you pout thinking I forgot about you." he mumbles, and you smile. You open the present, and sigh. Inside is your favorite book, but not just any, the very first edition. It's old, rare, and probably extremely expensive. "Ten.." you whisper, and the boy smiles. "I know you've always dreamed of it."

What makes your heart beat a little faster is not that he gave you the book, but that he remembered it, because you only mentioned it once almost two years ago. Perhaps accusing him of never paying attention was wrong, now that you think about it. "Thank you so much Ten, you have no idea how happy this makes me." you lean over, and place a tender kiss on his cheek. And when you take a step back, you notice the rosy tint on Ten's cheeks. Cute.

"Come on, open yours!" Ten nods a minute later, the poor man needs to recover from the sudden physical contact first, then, he unwraps his present. If there is ont think Ten loves more than himself, and you, it's his watch. His father gave him his own watch for his 18th birthday, and it quickly became his most precious item, and unfortunately, he broke it a few months ago.

He thought it was irreparable, but nothing is ever irreparable, so you grabbed it one morning, and sent it over to have it fixed. It's not much for you, but when you see the tears in Ten's eyes, you knows that it was a perfect idea. "I thought I lost it." he says under his breath, and you shake your head. "I took it from you, wanted to surprise you, but I didn't expect it to take that long. I'm really sorry if I worried you."

Ten shakes his head, and he wipes his tears with his free hand, before a smile spreads over his beautiful face. "This deserves a kiss!" Ten's mother exclaims, and you hear Tern sigh loudly. "Mom, don't embarrass them." you are grateful for Ten, but you have to do it. So once more you take a step forward, and you cup Ten's face, and your face meet in the middle for a long, and soft kiss. Yeah, maybe you wanted to kiss him too. And for a while now.

"How beautiful young love is!" one person comments, and you smile weakly. Ten does the same, and you help him put the watch around his wrist. "Thank you, thank you. I don't think I will ever have enough words to thank you. It's the most perfect present." he says in a long sigh, and you smile. "I knew how much you cared about this watch." you run your fingers through Ten's hair to pull it out of his face, and realize how easy it is for you to fall back on your old habits.

The rest of the evening goes well.

You sit on the couch with Ten, and you listen to the stories the family members are telling, laughing every now and then, but you can't really focus with the heat radiating from Ten's body. Proximity in your hands. It would be so easy to take his hand, or rest your head on his shoulder.

Why the hell not, you think, it's Christmas, and you are supposed to be acting, so might as well make the most of it. You rest your head on Ten's shoulder, and if he is suprised, he doesn't show it, he lands a kiss on the top of your head. You feel his shoulders relax and you smile. You always have the same calming effect on each other. True love, but you refuse to think about it.

It's getting late, and you can't seem to suppress a long yawn, Ten notices. He stands up and you pout at the sudden lack of contact, and you sit up. "We're going to go mom, we still have a way to go, and it's snowing again." she nods, albeit a little sad, but she knows it would be too dangerous for Ten to drive if he is tired, of if there is too much snow.

"Thank you for coming, my loves, it made me very happy." once again, you find yourself engulfed in a long her that you give back with pleasure. And you thank her and Ten's father again and again for the invitation. And in a few minutes, you find yourself in front of the car. Tern follows closely behind you, and before Ten gets into the car, she puts her hand on his shoulder to take him aside. "Take care of yourself, and your heart, okay?"

Ten nods. "Don't worry, I know what to do to keep my heart safe." he looks at you to see if you heard him, but no, you are half asleep on the seat, and you would not even hear if a bomb were to explode near your ear. "Really, don't worry." he places a kiss on his sister's cheek, and he gets into the car after making sur the passenger door is closed. You collapsed into the seat, your new book clutched to your chest.

"It was a very good evening. You family is amazing." you say, and Ten can only agree. "You are right. Thank you for coming." you smile and lean your head against the window. You do not want to fall asleep, you want to enjoy your last moments with Ten, but unfortunately, fatigue quickly gets the better of you, and when you open your eyes, the car is already parked in front of your apartment complex.

"Thanks for taking me home, and thanks again for the book." you lean in to kiss the corner of his lips, but before Ten can say anything, you get out of the car. He opens the window, and you turns to him. "Have a good night, Ten." his fingers tighten around the steering wheel, and you see that he wants to say something, but he holds back. "Good night Y/n, and merry Christmas."

You walk towards the door that leads to the lobby, but the sound of the door opening and closing catches your attention. You turn around and find Ten in front of the car. You embrace your body with your arms to fight against the cold. "What are you doing, Ten?" you ask, and the boy finally approaches. He's so close you can feel his breath against your lips. "Would you like to go have coffee tomorrow? And maybe we can go check out the Christmas lights."

You smile, and you nod. "I would love this, Ten." his smile is as bright as the moon, and you chuckle softly when he places a small kiss on your lips before heading back to his car, not without a victory move that almost makes him trip in the snow.

It’s Christmas Eve. It’s the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be.

And maybe sometimes, you can decide to stay that kind of people.

[sinnamonn]

Welcome to Hell ch. 3: Deal with a Devil

Levi kin assigns Gia and makes them help in a revenge plot against Mammon

Word count: 2.8 k

Mammon looked between Gia and Levi nervously,

“..Uh, listen up, human!” He started, “This here is Leviathan, Avatar of Envy. He’s the third oldest of us brothers. His name is kinda hard to say so just call him Levi”

“Hi.” Gia waved, only to be ignored by him. Rude.

“OK! Let’s move on!” Mammon said quickly, only for Levi to stop him.

“Mammon! Give me back my money. Then crawl in a hole and die!”

Oh shit.

“Come on, I told you I’d get it to you! I just need a little more time.” Mammon replied, “and you still want me to die even after I give it back? That’s harsh, Levi!”

So the Avatar of Greed was not the most popular brother, Gia gathered as they watched the two bicker.

“You need a little more time? How much more?” Levi sneered

“A little more means a little more!” He snapped back

“You’ve been telling me that for the last 200 years!”

“Hey, no! It hasn’t been 200 years it’s been 260! Get it right, Levi!”

“Dude you are not making yourself look better.” Gia said. They really wished they had popcorn about now.

“Yeah, that’s even worse!” Levi agreed

“Don’t you gang up on me!” Mammon exclaimed, “What the hell, human, I thought you were on my side?!”

“Nah, I’m still pissed that you tried to rob me. And called me broken. And were just a general dickhead to me.” Gia replied, earning a long groan from the demon. Levi picked up where they stopped.

“Unbelievable. Seriously Mammon, you’re—“

“I’m what? Scum? Is that what you’re gonna say?” Mammon cut his brother off with a harsh glare.

“A lowlife and a waste of space!”

Oh damn, that was harsh. Harsher than Gia thought, at least; they knew they were siblings and siblings fought like rabid animals but still.

“Hey, come on that’s even worse!? Mammon whined.

“Whatever, just give me my money.” Levi huffed, “I need to buy the blu ray box set of Journey to the Devildom: The Tale of a Little She-Devil and her Reluctant Companion.” Levi’s expression changed when he talked about the set, you could barely tell he was trying to extort Mammon.

Good lord that name was long. Was it a visual novel adaption? The only TV shows Gia ever saw with names as long as that were always anime adaptations.

“The initial round of copies includes promotional tickets to a live event as a special bonus.”

Oh, that was definitely anime.

Mammon only looked at him with a blank stare, “I’ve got no idea what you’re even talking about, Levi, but it doesn’t matter. I don’t even have any money to give you! How am I supposed to give back money I don’t have?”

Levi’s expression changed back to that sneer, “So then, you refuse to pay me back?” He asked.

“You looking for a fight, is that it?”

Fuck that! Gia did not want those two fighting in their room, they just got it for god’s sake. Not to mention their bickering got annoying.

“Hey, wait!” Gia put themself between the demons, not the smartest move but whatever, “If you’re gonna fight, then do it someplace that isn’t my room.”

Mammon ignored them,only putting on a mock heroic smile, “Listen human. You remember my advice from before? Well, you’re about to witness that for real. So…”

He took off running.

He fucking took off running. He had a bit of a limp from getting kicked in the kneecaps but he was still running. That bastard.

“Time for you to die, because it’s either you or me and it ain’t gonna be me!” He called back to them.

“You fucker! I’m gonna come back and haunt your ass!” Gia snapped before punching a wall. If they lived through this they were gonna make him hurt.

“Wh..damn it, Mammon!” Levi spat.

“I know! That fucking dickhead, I’m gonna beat his ass later!” Gia agreed, but Levi didn’t say anything to them, only looking down at them as if they were a bug or something. Gia suddenly got the distinct feeling that she would not be met with the bare minimum hospitality Asmodeus and Satan gave them.

“Do you even realize what happened? Mammon used you as a distraction to get away from me.” He said, “Or maybe I should say he used you as a sacrifice.”

“You don’t need to rub it in.”

“I admit Mammon is the scummiest scumbag you’ll ever meet...But still, that was pretty dumb of you letting him use you like that.”

Why was Gia getting blamed!? They didn’t know Mammon would just take off!

He sighed, “This is exactly why humans are-wait a second…”

“Uh, no, lets not do that.” Gia snapped, their already thin patience was running thinner, “Humans are what now!?” They took a step closer to the avatar of envy, glaring up at him. First they were kidnapped, then forced to stay here, then almost mugged, then left for dead, and now this asshole was just being xenophobic! They were tired!

“Out with it! If you have something to say then say it!” Gia snapped.

Levi was taken aback, staring at them slack jawed and wide eyes like a fool. Had no one ever had the guts to talk to him like that or…?

He mumbled something under his breath.

“What was that?”

“You’re just like Taiga! The Palmtop Tiger! F-from Toradora!” He exclaimed.

“Wha…?”

Toradora? Gia hadn’t heard that name in years.

“I Mean, a normie like you probably doesn’t know that anime but—“

“I know that anime, though.” Gia cut him off. They did not get made fun of in middle school for watching anime for some demon to call them a normie, “That one’s, like, on every starter list.”

“Woah! You’re not as much of a normie as I thought!” Levi exclaimed happily, “That means you’ll help me with my plan right!? You’re coming with me to my room!”

Without giving Gia a chance to answer Levi grabbed their wrist and began dragging them elsewhere. They cried internally, already missing the super soft, heavenly bed and fluffy pillows.

They were so tired.

Was this their life now? For a whole-ass year?

—— ——

Levi looked around before unlocking his room and (not) discreetly rushing Gia in.

Woah.

Levi’s room was...incredible.

The ceiling was glass and bathed the rest of the room below in blue, the reflections of water danced across the floor. His ceiling was a tank! Gia’s eye excitedly bounced from the anime and manga collections, to the triple monster in the corner, to the floating jellyfish lights, to the bathtub in the dead center. But what really caught their attention was the very back wall, also made of glass. It was also a tank, a beautifully decorated fish tank filled with plant life all seemingly for the one goldfish that swam peacefully around the center.

“For someone who doesn’t even look like an otaku you really-hey what’re you doing?”

Gia ignored him in favor of the tank, wanting to take a closer look at it, stumbling lightly across Levi’s room.

It was even cooler up close, the plants were real and the water was so clean!

“Oh, that’s Henry 2.0, I named him after the protagonist of my favorite book series The Tales of the Seven Lords, or TSL,” Levi explained, coming up next to them, “I bet even a not-so-normie normie like you thinks it’s pretty lame, right?” He asked bitterly, catching Gia off guard.

“What, no!?” They replied, quickly turning to the demon, “Levi, this is amazing! This is the best set up I’ve ever seen for a goldfish, I can’t count how many times I’ve seen them shoved in a barely one gallon tank with zero enrichment!”

“Y-You’re just making fun!” Levi sputtered, avoiding eye contact.

“Why would I make fun of you for taking really good care of your fish? That’s dumb.”

“Whatever! Just because you’re a little less of a normie doesn’t mean I’ll go easy on you!” He snapped, “Anyway, I didn’t bring you to tell you about Henry or TSL.”

Yeah no shit, gatekeeping asshole.

“I don’t think there’s any harm in just coming out and saying it: Mammon is a complete and utter scumbag.”

“So I’ve gathered.”

“It’s very important that you understand this, so I’ll say it one more time…”

“You really don’t need to—“

“Mammon is a hopeless, worthless, scumbag!” Levi sneered, “I lent that scumbag money, and now I want him to pay me back. But being the scumbag he is, he won’t do it.”

“Ok.” Gia deadpanned, could he get to the point instead of reiterating Mammon’s scumminess? This was getting annoying.

“I wish I could force him, but despite what a rotten waste of space he is, he’s still the second oldest. As the third oldest, no matter how hard I try, I don’t stand a chance against him…”

Gia’s attention trailed off to the tub in the middle of his room. Oh god was that his bed? That couldn’t possibly be comfortable, Levi’s back had to be killing him! Was that why he was such an ass? Because he was sore all the time from sleeping in a bathtub?

“Are you even listening!?”

“Huh?”

“I said his room is covered in junk! Old, empty cup ramen containers, tissues with dried snot and...and boogers in them! Stuff was strewn everywhere!” Levi shuddered, “ And there Seraphina was, lying on the FLOOR! Tossed aside like a piece of junk!How could he?! That’s no way to treat an ultra rare figure.”

Oh so this was about a figure now?

“ I tried getting back at Mammon for her, I went into his room when he was asleep and tried to beat him up, but when I brought my foot down on his stomach next thing I knew he wasn’t there anymore. It all happened so fast,” he continued, “then he grabbed me and slammed me headfirst into the floor in a pile driver. And the worst was that he was COMPLETELY NAKED!”

Gia had to try and hold back their laughter, the image of a screaming Levi getting the shit kicked out of him by a naked Mammon was too funny. That had to be the most sibling thing they had heard all...day? Night? What time even was it? Come to think of it, how did time work in the Devildom? When they had been spirited away Gia had been getting ready for bed, so was it also night here?

“...Why does he have to sleep in the nude? He could at least put on some underwear. I don’t remember anything else.” He sighed, “ You've seen just how fast he is yourself, haven’t you? No one aside from Lucifer or Beel has that kind of speed. But if, say, a human made a pact with Mammon, and bound him to their service…”

“Wait, you want me to make a pact with him?” Gia asked, “Doesn’t that involve, like, selling my soul? I feel like there are better demons for that.”

“Well, you’re not wrong, but this isn’t about you. This is about me getting my money back from Mammon and you helping me.” Levi huffed. Selfish ass. “Besides, you get the benefit of Mammon having to do whatever you tell him to.”

Oh?

Maybe this whole pact thing wasn’t such a bad idea?

“So you want me to make a pact with Mammon then force him to give you back your money, and I get a demon slave out of it?” Gia asked, Levi nodded.

“For a normie, you catch on fast.”

“I’ve been told. Also don’t call me a normie.” They replied, now deciding to give him a hard time, “You know, I’m not so sure about seeing my soul. Maybe I won’t help you.”

“H-Hey! Don’t go back on me! For some pacts you don’t even need to give up your soul, but you still need to give something to the demon. I know exactly how to negotiate that with Mammon!”

“Hmm?” Gia feigned disinterest, but this is exactly what they wanted to get out of Levi.

“It’s goldie, his credit card. Lucifer took it and hid it. Find that, and Mammon will do whatever you want.” Levi explained quickly.

“Well, Levi…” Gia said, a sly smile growing on their face, “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

“....Your smile’s creepy. Stop it.”

What a fucking asshole.

[letterstothemidnightsociety]

Alright, so if you've been following along with me, Supernatural season 3 starts out on a trio of episodes that are Really Fun, slides into some episodes that are Pretty OK, then takes a real nose dive into Bummersville. Hoo boy guys, I really hope that this season picks up. I mean, it won’t, but I can still dream. 2021 was maybe not the year to start watching this season. Fair warning.

The next three episodes for this season are just, like, real downers. First we get “Fresh Blood,” which, aside from the terrible title, starts out on a high note. Gordon (gross) somehow manages to catch up with Bela (HOW??) and threatens her if she doesn’t hand over the Winchesters. Bela, in all of her class and grace, won’t give them up because she has a high price point and Gordon is really lowballing her here. Just like, yes, ok, please stay forever, you’re amazing and I love you. And what a scene this is! You have two characters, one with a strict moral code (albeit one that allows for violence and winning at all costs) and the other with almost NO moral code, but an allegiance that can be bought with the best price and it’s such a fun back and forth until Gordon pulls out a gun. And then she pulls out her phone and just has Dean on speed dial and that’s maybe my fav part. Bela has run into the Winchesters twice and they maybe legit hate her but she’s very much like, oh yeah, my BFF’s the Winchesters, I love those idiots!

I love that we come back to this moment later in the episode when Bela, like, three days later, is like, Oh! I guess I should warn the Winchesters that some crazy guy is after them! She’s just so casual about it you kind of get the feeling that, even though technically Gordon was threatening her life, she doesn’t view him as A Threat. She gives the Winchesters a heads up just to be like oh yeah, you might want to watch out for this mild inconvenience, and she seems legit shocked when Dean freaks out. There’s this moment that plays across her face like, oh shit, did I...did I fuck up? And it adds a nice bit of depth to her character. She’s seems honestly worried, both for the lives of the Winchesters but also that Dean won’t like her anymore and that is just a charming bit of A C T I N G!

I am gonna miss her SO MUCH when she dies at the end of this season. WHY did we CANCEL HER???

But despite the fun beginning, this episode is about monsters and how people become monsters and how other people are probably the reason. Because our main baddie is a vampire who hunts to...well, listen if we look at the facts that he lays out in his monologue, it’s a little more tragic - he’s trying to replace the daughters that he lost hundreds of years ago, cool motive, still murder. In practice though, he goes around turning hot blonde coeds into vampires and then ?????? Who knows. I’d like to believe that this was a problem with the CW executives or maybe casting/directing and not with the writing, but it’s SPN and you really can’t be sure with anything. The fact is, this is a CW show from the early 2000’s and a lot of their extras are cast to type. And that’s maybe me exhibiting some girl-on-girl crime, but there are other episodes that did a much less blatantly gross job casting their extras/Very Special Guest Stars.

Anyway, the POINT of this guy is that he’s a monster because someone killed his daughter and he’s just been trying to fill that grief hole inside of him for centuries. This is not unlike Gordon, who ALSO has been trying to fill a grief hole that he’s had for decades, except he’s not killing people and resurrecting them as blood suckers, he’s just killing them. And then, when the Vamp decides to turn Gordon it’s a real sweet moment of comeuppance for like, a HOT second and then you’re like, awww dude, ya done f’ed up. That was a bad idea. You’ve made a HUGE mistake.

More importantly, our Vampire In Question finally runs into the Winchesters and get’s to say things like “I was desperate! You ever felt desperate? I've lost everyone I ever loved. I'm staring down eternity alone. Can you think of a worse hell?” and also “I just ... I didn't care anymore. Do you know what it's like when you just don't give a damn? It's like ... it's like being dead already.” and Dean’s v. much like, THIS IS TOO REAL ROY.

Sam may ALSO be feeling Too Real feelings because he is DONE dicking around with Gordon and honestly yes, I like this, this is good Sam development. It’s nice to know that Sam has a breaking point. And I admit I’m of two minds about this moment because 1) I love the idea of Dark!Sam this season and that maybe Sam’s decision to actually kill Gordon is just one step in that process but 2) I ALSO love the idea of Sam Lite finally having a breaking point and Gordon is IT. I don’t know which theory I like more in this scenario, but they are both good theories.

I think as much as this episode wants to draw parallels between the monsters and Dean (thank you artful editors), you can’t look at the “I’ve lost everyone I ever loved,” line and not think of Sam? Cuz he’s got one (1) person left in his life that hasn’t died horribly, so how desperate is he about to get through the end of this season? I’ve definitely been watching this season with eyes on all the ominous Dean foreshadowing, but the Sam foreshadowing is also there, just buried under the heavy weight of a thousand smulders and suicidal levels of denial.

And also, FUCK the tag on this episode! Guys, it is CUTE but it is also HORRIBLE. Dean starts teaching Sam how to fix the Impala and at first it’s all, “Oh! Adorable Brothers Being Brothers!” and I loved it but then I almost immediately hated it because you realize this is about making sure Sam can get along without him once he’s gone and Dean just accepts his own death with such casual ease that it’s just...INFURIATING!

This scene was rude and I HATE IT!

Cut to - “A Very Supernatural Christmas” Special!

Guys, I was so excited when I got to this episode. THIS is Classic Supernatural Shenanigans. Plus, you know a Holiday Special is the ultimate sign that this show has Made It, right? Or it could be a sign that they’re selling out, who knows, but I think we can say that at this point in the series, SPN is established enough to start having fun with their fans. That’s what this says to me. BUT THEN what we get is like...oh boy.

First - like, I’mma beat this horse to death, but what is WRONG with this FAMILY? John Winchester very quickly devolved into the sort of father that forgot about every single holiday and did not ever, even a little bit, make up for it. It’s not a surprise, but it kind of wrecked me seeing a flashback where Baby Dean is just so attached to a father who can’t be bothered to actually care for his children. I know he’s not in this episode because Jeffrey Dean Morgan was tied up in other projects, but the fact that John doesn’t show up at the end to button the flashbacks with a But then he DID show up for Christmas! just makes this plot line that more gutting. And despite Dean’s hero worship of their father, this is maybe the Christmas where Baby Sam stops believing in his own father. The only bright side to this is that it continues to enforce the fact that Bobby should have sued John for custody. Bobby should maybe STILL Sue for custody so that Dean at least would feel like someone wants him for once in his life, damnit.

And then we wrap this episode up with the Best Worst Christmas of all, because we see Sam start to...also?? accept that Dean is about to die? Cuz that’s what this episode is really about - Dean’s Last Christmas. And everything about that makes me ~ u p s e t ~.

So Sam decides to put his curmudgeonly grinchy attitude aside in order to make it a special day for Dean and ugh. UGH. UGHGHGHG. Season three is the worst guys, and I can’t believe I didn’t realize that until right this second now.

So let’s wrap this up with "Malleus Maleficarum", honestly an episode that is mostly forgettable until we get to, like, the last five minutes. Sure, witches and curses and selling your soul, woohoo whatever.

But then we get some real Ruby centric reveals and like, WHAT is happening?? First off, the scene where Ruby and Tammy have a moment is a real Moment. There is some baggage and tension here and it is heavy. And then Tammy drops the mic when she reveals that Ruby used to be human.

THEN, Ruby legit saves their asses by killing Tammy with a fancy magic knife. Ok, Dean does the actual killing, but Ruby brought the fancy magic knife. So between the hot and heavy tension with “Tammy” and her repeated attempts to keep the Winchesters alive, we’re left wondering what IS Ruby’s deal? I personally wonder how much of the show’s mythology the show actually has figured out at this point? Because interviews with Kripke definitely walk the line between “Oh we definitely have this whole thing worked out,” and “yeah, we’re sort of finding things as we go along,” which is maybe why it’s able to last as long as it does. More on that later.

Of course the big kicker is the final scene between Ruby and Dean. Dean is almost on board with Ruby at this point in the season, and much like his scene with the demon in “Sin City”, they share a kind of vulnerable moment together where Ruby admits that, yeah, she was human once and yeah, Hell will destroy you, body and soul, and yeah Dean’s worst fear will probably come true - he will become the thing he hunts, no ifs, ands or buts about it. And Dean knows that Ruby knows that Dean knows that there’s no way to save Dean from his fate, but they both agree that they can’t take Sam’s last ounce of hope away from him because, for both of them, Sam is their hope. Ruby and Dean both see the war happening around them and they know that with Dean gone, Sam’s maybe the last guy holding back the tide to save all humanity.

Which, honestly? Bull shit. Do you know how many hunters are out there? Neither do I, but this season seems to indicate that there are a LOT. We have barely scratched the surface on the hunter community and it’s a damn shame that they are all weirdo loners because there is a war going on. You know what works great in a war? An ARMY. Buncha mentally unstable, martyr-complex ijits who can’t put their differences aside for one damn MINUTE so that maybe, JUST maybe, the could actually defeat the evil they’ve spent their entire lives dedicated to fighting. And if Ruby and Dean wanted to help Sam, what they should probably do is get him plugged in to that community. I do believe that of all they backasswards, self-obsessed, painfully anti-social crazies out there, the Winchesters are THE WORST.

Listen tho, this was like, a solid scene between these two. Just a lot of work goin' into this and it paid off.

Anyway, back to the mythology for a hot second - This sort of loosey-goosey stumbling into your own world building is probably another one of those things that you’ll only really get in a show with this many episodes per season? It’s that room to play and experiment and just make stuff up as you go along. I think the slow drip method of releasing episodes ALSO helps in this scenario because you’re able to see what fans are reacting to in almost-real time. When viewers are binging episodes, I think you're less likely to see what specifically they’re reacting to and more wholistically they’re reacting to. And that’s not to say you won’t see those specific things that they like/love eventually, but by the time you get there, your season’s been produced in its entirety and you’ll have to bear that in mind for (hopefully) next season. But with SPN, they were writing and producing the show at the same time that some of the episodes were airing. That’s why they were able to make decisions on the fly, based on what fans responded to. And definitely by this point in the show, there was a sizeable and vocal fan base that made their feelings VERY well-known. We’re only in season three, but they’ve already had a number of con appearances and a pretty active online presence. That kind of feedback has got to be helpful, from a writing perspective, but it also allows for things like characters getting cut because nobody liked them for some dumb reason. BUT, if you’re fighting to stay on the air for 100 episodes or longer, responding to fan reactions is what’s gonna do it and that’s a fact.

[blueboltkatana]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

GUrll ur so sexy... Like you're Hot. I don't care if you were bullied in school, you're sexy, they lied.

Also bitch I KNEW i related to you too much our ascendants are both in leo we're so hot.

Ok ok no now I'll stop complimenting and start with the roasting here we go:

So the sun is your sense of "self" it represents you on the more base level i guess you could say, like what most people think you're like is represented by your sun. With Sagittarius being your sun it means you're very energetic Especially for those things you are passionate about, you might have gone through a LOT of hobbies, only a few of them stuck around but you like to try things. You're curious about the way people's minds works, you wanna figure them out. If the conversations you have don't involve some form of psychoanalysis or philosophy you might loose interest. You are a Talker, maybe you talk very fast or you are often told to lower your voice but you don't do it on purpose you're just very very animated. You are kina volatile, in the sense that you value freedom in everything, love, work, hobbies. You have a huge rebellious streak and you kinda like testing your luck. Think adrenaline junkie. It's cliché but with this much Sagittarius in your chart you prob love traveling, like i said you will chase freedom because you associate it with happiness. If you find people that make you feel free then you feel happy. Rules don't go well with you. You don't really like being involved with fights per se but you LOVE debating, if you can beat a motherfucker with nothing but facts and logic you will and you will enjoy it.

Your way of flirting or making friends is "lowkey bullying" or my favourite "verbally throwing hands". If they shoot back you get heart eyes (my mars in sag agrees). You can be tactless as fuck tho. Like you will say some outrageous shit that MIGHT be funny if the timing is right or MIGHT make everyone in a 5 mile radius mad.

I NEED to talk about your moon in sag bc Babe, babe the moon tells us about our emotions and how we deal with them, how we express them and how they shape us. But BABE. Sagittarius moons are so bad at comforting people it's embarrassing, trying to make them think of smth else or do smth else to distract from the situation is NOT a good way to deal with your emotions... Avoiding your emotions like the plague is not gonna invent a vaccine... Saying "everything is fine :)" DOESN'T MAKE ANYTHING FINE PLEASE GO TO THERAPY. ok to give you some credit, you don't let shit bring you down, no matter what you always get up and that is a *strength* that i admire, but love you're burning the candle at both ends, especially if you get yourself in More problems by trying to distract yourself from One problem.

Also you've had a horsegirl phase or a dog obsession phase or both huh. AND your love language is sarcasm but the type that you will make someone laugh when you're insulting them. You're also hilarious irl you're prob the "funny friend" but with that scorpio mars and venus baby inside ur sad and dark as fuck ripp.

I also wanted to talk about your mercury in sag... Babe... Do you know what a brain to mouth filter IS?! do you recognize that word?!?! Cuz you have never used yours i think. Like you are hilarious but that's because you have dolphins in the head cavity baby. Not trying to say you're stupid, you're actually very smart and opinionated, probably have been told that you'd be a great lawyer or smth. But miss gurl please think before you speak for the love of god ur gonna make someone cry. Also ur mouth is foul. Have you ever spoken a sentence without a "fuck" or a "cunt" somewhere in there?! God bless.

Now for your scorpio Venus I'm just gonna say, more confirmation that ur Sexy as Fuck, scorpio venuses are just sexy, amazing partners, VERY passionate, whoever dates you will never forget you, for better or for worse you'll forever be on the back of their mind. You had a harsh emo phase huh, maybe loved some obscure shit like witchcraft or just love dressing all black like someone's mother died, i bet you wear silver jewelry a lot, maybe necklaces or rings or chockers. If this isn't how you dress now it was prob a major phase in your life. Or maybe you just love horror movies idk

Being as passionate as you are you don't take well to being mistreated or lied to, you might like to plot revenge and things like those, you wouldn't do anything... You actually prefer letting things go but you WILL make an elaborate scenario in your head at 3am or even as you stare right in the persons face.

With mars in scorpio you might be kinda passive aggressive, maybe you act like things don't really bother you but you throw a comment or two once in a while just to stir the pot bc you can't move on lmfao.

You are attracted to people that are introverts or generally just mysterious, like i said above the nature of the Sagittarius is to Learn and to Study. People that you can't immediately figure out intrigue you. All your crushes are either on geminis or water signs lmfao.

The best careers for you are the ones that allow you some freedom of either movement or expression and something that can keep your mind from flying away, something that keeps you intrigued, like research or writing. You're a very "all or nothing" person and it can sometimes scare people away, i advise you to work on compromising, being less stubborn and more open with your emotions and desires.

(part one bc I'm taking too long and I don't wanna keep you waiting so much) I'll reblog this with part 2

Alright here we go part 2 of Roasting hella until she finds out I'm hiding in her walls.

I will skip over some planets that are Very slow moving and usually don't talk about you as an individual but refer to your generation as a whole.

I wanna focus on lilith for a sec bc worstie lilith talks about our fears, our more "darker" side that we hide from ourselves as well as the people that we love. Lilith in aries in the eleventh house tells me you might be afraid to take charge, you gravitate towards positions of leadership but you let go on the last second, almost afraid to have too much control, very often self sabotaging your own success. Your anger and you own ambition might scare you, you might be afraid of appearing too aggressive bc under your skin you have a deep rooted anger and rebellion that you wish to relieve but you can't find a good enough outlet, some things soothe it but you always feel like it never leaves. It might be related to some form of resentment that you never truly dealt with and now it sits uncomfortably with you and you just can't get over it and it bothers you. You might have been shy in groups as a child, maybe you talked a lot but it was always from a fear of the silence not always because you had something to say. The eleventh house is that of groups and friends and social awareness, technology and your hopes and wishes for the future, having lilith in this house talks about someone who had a hard time feeling comfortable around people OR someone who wasn't very accepted. You might have desperately wished for friends but have found it hard to find any. Or if you did, you deep down felt very alone. I would advise to learn to accept your anger and deal with it in healthy ways instead of brushing it off and repressing it.

The north node talks about what you need to focus more in your life for example in your case with Gemini in your North node you need to focus more on your communication letting go of anxiety and your relation with other people you need to become more interested in intellectual pursuit and growth. You need to let go off the need to always be right and look more at details instead of focusing on on the bigger picture all of the time. When your North node is is in Gemini then your South node is in Sagittarius which tells me that what you should focus less on is your pursuit of freedom and your rebellion. Be more aware of your words and use them with maturity.

Now let's have some fun with the ascendent in leo which we share and now i see why ur so relatable. The first house or the ascendant is that very superficial layer of our personality, it includes the way we carry ourselves, our style, the little habits or quirks we have. One thing about leo ascendants is that we have an obsession with our hair. Hair is important to us, some have huge hair that might remind you of a lions mane, others just have very unique style or color but we ALL are lowkey or highkey obsessed with it, either constantly touching it, pulling it, chewing on it, cutting it or dying it in unique ways you name it. You might have a rather large nose or cat like eyes.

This ascendent is full of life and light, very funny, light hearted and luxurious, you want to live that good life and i don't blame you. A negative aspect is that we come of as intimidating to others. ALL of my friends AND my ex have at some point told me I was intimidating to them. It makes us prone to overcompensating for it later in life so maybe now you're super outgoing and extroverted and you approach people first and try to be super friendly. Also you're an attention whore (affectionate) with a flare for the dramatics, very flamboyant, you basically fill the room with personality, it attracts attention and you love it. You're what people would call a "sunny" person.

You're hella competitive (get it lol) and you LOVE fighting your way to the top and crushing the competition. You're probably a weirdo that low key likes school. Not the way it's run or the teachers or whatever, but the "idea" of school. If you could just learn all your life you absolutely would.

Second house in virgo. The 2nd house is the house of money, work, income, daily routines, values, material possessions, habits, work ethic ect being in virgo it means you can have an extremely good work ethic, you put a lot of thought in planning and mapping your work, you might get overly critical on your work though and often undermine your own success and efforts because they didn't fit your impossible standards. You can be very organized in your work, you want things to be a certain way and if they don't follow your plan you will Make them. Its a good position for virgo but yoh need to be aware of not overworking by trying to do Everything on your own. Let others help you, and let people in your work do their own things don't try to help if not asked to because you will overwork yourself.

The third house is that of the mind, thinking, communication, siblings, interests and early education, in your case it is in Libra which means that you're early education might not have been very stable or it was a period of time that you look back with a lot of fondness but not much substance. You are a good talker but you get lost when it comes to details, you are indecisive when it comes to settling on an opinion on something if you don't have All the facts first, you always want to be right. You are pretty open minded and easy to talk to but you might have the bad habit of rambling off topic. You change interests constantly and you prob like to talk about others, you wanna know the tea if it kills you. You prob had a crush on a childhood best friend or on a hot neighbor. Your relationship with your siblings might be pretty good, friendly, no particular resentment or anything like that, you might be the one that everyone treats a little better, people let you get away with things more often, you might be the one that takes 2 hours in the bathroom lol.

Oof fourth house in scorpio babe how are the mommy issues? 😬 How is your relationship with your femininity? Having trouble with keeping secrets? So the fourth house is the one responsible for your home roots, your family, self-care, emotions, your mother, women and your femininity and having Scorpio here tells me that you might have very strong ties to your family, but they weren't healthy or emotionally supportive. You have grown with people that might have undermined your emotions, people that didn't teach you to set healthy boundaries and maybe even manipulators and gaslighters. You might have been the type to put your foot down a lot a home, assuming a very dominant role as well as the defender. You're very private about your family life and don't want to let people too close.

Ah i just noticed u have like 3 planets in this house including ur Sun and Moon, babe this house is what you need to focus on when you go to therapy. This almost secretive, guarded approach to understanding your own emotions is very prominent in how you see yourself, how you feel and with Pluto there, how you change. I could say the biggest changes in your life have happened in these areas and they have left the biggest impacts on you. Yes you are passionate and protective but don't let bad feelings marinate forever, address them and then move on from them because they're just weighting you down.

Fifth house in sag, also the house of your mercury. This house represents Love, romance, creativity, self expression, joy and childlike spirit. It tells me the way you express your creativity is through words which makes sense since you're a great writer, but not only, the way you express Love is also through your words, expression and free thoughts are your way you tell your loved ones how much you mean to them, think poetry, long rants, music recommendations bc of specific song lyrics, you have been writing form childhood and it's one of the ways you express your view on beauty as well, to you love is freedom and freedom is expression.

Capricorn in the sixth house paired with both uranus and neptune being in it tells me there is something about your knees, joints, bones or teeth in particular that stands out when it comes to your health, maybe you tend to break your teeth, maybe you like chewing on crunchy foods, maybe your joints crack a lot, idk but I'd drink my milk if i was you, take care of your joints and bones. Also for you, being emotionally unwell often translates to being Physically unwell as well, so be mindful of your emotions because they do affect you physically. You need to keep hydrated also and your health plan needs structure for it to work bc that neptune makes everything very chaotic and uranus constantly makes you bored and wanting to spice things up. Take care of your emotional needs just as much as you would with your physical ones. And for the love of jesus be CAREFUL with alcohol or smoking because that neptune in ur health house could mean serious trouble if you let it become an addiction, don't push it.

Aquarius in the seventh house of relationships, marriage, contracts, business partners ect means you are untraditionally traditional. That makes sense in my head let me explain. Aquarius is a sign that seeks individualism desperately, it likes to feel like a special person, impossible to understand. Yet always feels comfortable in the structure of traditional and safe paths. So for example you might marry someone in a way that is not traditional but at the end of the day you wish for your marriage to have a stability you would feel safe falling into. Also it says ur gay. Air signs in the relationship house says ur gay i Make the rules.

Pisces is in the eighth house of sex, intimacy, shared finances, inheritance, taxes, loans, property, mystery, partner's resources. This tells me you fuck with feeling lmfao. Or you simply make your love life something "special", a connection that only you and ur person can share, it's what makes you an amazing lover and an unforgettable one as well. But as amazing as you are at creating a otherworldly atmosphere, ur just as shit at setting boundaries and saying something when you don't like something. You don't like to see things that you love ending and a failed relationship makes you blame yourself too much, you have the tendency to stay in situations where you are being mistreated but you tell yourself It's on you.

A recurring theme I'm seeing is some weakness when it comes to liars or manipulators in your life. So either you irrationally fear people are lying to you because you "lie" to them about yourself or a lot of people in your childhood might have used lying or gaslighting as a way to keep you under control. I would advise to try not to overthink and become paranoid, people love you and they believe in you and they aren't deceiving you, they don't secretly mean something different from what they have said. Listen to your intuition about people sure, but don't confuse it with anxiety.

With lilith and aries in the 9th house of travel and higher education and religion I'm gonna assume you might have religious trauma. Religion might have been a way that people used to try and control you, if not religion then some form of system or government law. Being queer i completely understand the sentiment but in your case it's take a step further because you Value the ideals of this house so much, with lilith here, it's like at som point in your life you were finally awakened to how much injustice there was in the world ant that has made you very inclined to take action, you cannot stand unjust government or non tolerating religions. You might have felt crushed under an unjust system and it took you a lot of will and conviction to find your individuality and build yourself how you wanted once you were free.

Your midheaven in taurus tells me you are one that will achieve any goals you set your mind to. It might take you time, you might procrastinate around it, but at the end of the day, you will do it and you will do it well and it will be rewarding. If your father isn't a Taurus then he was a stable figure in your life, very much a rock for better or for worse. In your career life people will see you as very competent, very down to earth and helpful but you know you just procrastinated till the last second possible and stayed up all night do finish your work... You will seek careers that you believe will guarantee you stable income and a comfortable life. You might indulge in luxury from time to time because you think in order to get the position you want at work you need to look the part. Ultimately it's your sheer stubbornness and spite that gets you all the way up to the top of the food chain.

The eleventh house of groups, friendships, humanitarianism, and social awareness is in your case in gemini. It tells me you value friendship extremely and you surround yourself with a diverse cast of friends, you couldn't mix your different friend groups if you tried and you have tried. You have the habit of being too friendly to everyone which makes you end up with more friends than you know what to do with. You are approachable but people can get the impression that you are putting up a show or a facade and your emotions arent genuine, it's not always the case but you need to be more truthful and assertive, put some boundaries and don't let people get away with shit you don't like. Your public persona is very well liked, seen as fun and bright and smart and overall a joy to be around.

Now that last placement... 12th house cancer, i have the same placement and babe I'm sorry for all the shit you have been through. You deserve the freedom to be unhappy and to express that unhappiness in healthy ways. You deserve to be given unconditional love and support no matter how many mistakes you say you have made no matter how overly pessimistic you are about yourself it doesn't matter you're amazing and i love you and you deserve the world.

With jupiter the planet of expansion in the 12th house of endings, spirituality, solitude and karma?! Gurl i did say u were a cult leader but i didn't think it was astrologically backed up rippp. But it also says you might have a hard time getting the motivation to finish things, you might take a long time to finish a project. This house placements also tells me you're amazing at writing emotional ass fantasy stories which by now we have confirmed, but if you have like, an original idea for a book don't hesitate to get it started babe bc u have a very promising placement for that. Don't get too dragged into a sad whirlpool of emotions and daydreams but bring your creative ideas to life and you'll be fine.

This is all I'm doing today and i think it's enough lol. I'm posting this I'm sorry to my followers for the long ass post I'll tag it so you can filter it. This was a whole psycho-astrological analysis of our favourite writer Hellspawn1975. I have wanted to study her like a new lizard species for a while and i finally got the chance thank you hella for the opportunity.

Final words to @hella1975 i hate you and I'll fuck ur mom tomorrow, gn babe <3

[dreams-of-wings]

Impossible (6/8)

Imagine Billy Hargrove with a Mixed Race/Biracial S/O

Warnings: Racism, swearing, homophobia, homophobic slurs, mild violence, you throw hands a lot, angst.

Masterlist

You stay blocking the window sill for a bit cuz you enjoy seeing him squirm.

Honestly, he is bad at this whole climbing thing and he's struggling to not fall on his ass.

You finally let him in after he almost falls.

You're laughing your ass off while he's climbing through your window and simultaneously having a heart attack.

"It would have been less of a hassle if you used the door."

"I didn't think your parents would be happy if someome like me came knocking on their door asking for you."

You raise a brow at this, someone like him?

After a minute it occurs to you.

"Oh you mean a violent, racist, douchbag, with a reputation that surpasses the devil?"

He frowns.

Contrary to popular belief, Billy Hargrove is very self aware, and very self conscious about himself, his actions, and his self worth.

He doesn't like being an asshole but it's all he knows.

He low-key is afraid of growing up to be like his father.

Even though he has that nagging voice in the back of his mind that's telling him he's already as bad as his dad, if not worse.

He hides it all under a mask of confidence, booze, and cigarettes.

It still doesn't make his actions okay.

You snap him out of his thoughts.

"What?"

"I said my parents are out of town."

Now that he's in your room you noticed that Billy looked shaken up.

Billy Fucking Hargove, for once didn't have a scratch on him, but he looked like hell.

You question him.

It takes a while but he finally answers.

His dad got pissed at him because Max wasn't home, and he came hoping she would be here so he could drag her home.

You convince him to let you come along, because he is pissed and you know how he can get.

He caves and lets you tag along.

The next stop was Lucas' House.

Neither Max nore her son were there, but she said the kids all loved to go to Mike's house to play games.

Next stop is the Wheelers residence.

You dont know what's being said between Mrs. Wheeler and Billy, but knowing Billy and being able to read his body language- well. It takes everything in you to refrain from rolling your eyes and honking his horn (though you fail at not rolling your eyes).

I mean come on you guys are looking for Max, this is not the time to be flirting.

Fuck he went in.

You audibly groan and contemplate jacking his car to go look for his sister yourself, unfortunately he has the keys and you dont know how to hotwire a car.

Finally, he's out.

You forgive him because he comes out with a cookie in his mouth and has another one in his hand, which he gives to you.

"Hell, yes!!"

What?

Who the hell turns down food? And cookies at that. Home made cookies. And they're fresh.

Last stop was the the Byers house.

Fuck, Steve is there.

"Stay in the car."

"What? No!" Like hell you were going to let him beat up your friend.

"Stay in the fucking car!"

Steve seems both angry and hurt when he notices that you're in Billy's car.

You can't really hear what's being said, it's all muffled.

You panic a bit when Billy shoved Steve and you worry they'll start fighting.

"Shit!"

You burst out the car when you see Billy storming for the door, but stop to help Steve.

"Why the hell are you driving around with him?"

"He came to my place first, looking for Max and I offered to help him. What'd you say to piss him off?"

Steve gets mad, thinking your taking his side, and for the second time that night you find yourself rolling your eyes. "Why did you tell him you didn't know her? I tutor Max and her friends, and you babysit her friends, and you and I hang out, of course you would know her?"

You both stop arguing when you here a loud crash from inside the house.

"Damn it!" "Shit!"

You both walk in just in time to hear Billy threaten Lucas.

Fucking excuse you, Billy???

Steve decks him across the face, Billy taunts him, and this time an actual fight breaks out.

You try your best to get them both to stop fighting, but neither of them will listen to you, the voice of reason.

When Billy has Steve pinned to the floor and keeps punching him over and over again you finally get physical.

You tackle Billy off him while he's oblivious to his surroundings and use your hands and knees to pin his arms to the ground.

"What the fuck is your problem, Billy?!"

You've never seen him look at you so angrily, probably because he feels a bit betrayed.

He somehow manages to roll you both over so now your stuck underneath him.

You flinch when he draws his fist back like he's going to hit you, but the next thing you know- there's a syringe sticking out the side of his neck.

"Holy shit!"

He gets up to go after Max, but promptly falls.

Your a bit shocked by Max's outburst.

Now her, you have never seen that angry before.

When they leave, you stay behind to look after Billy and move him to couch

He isn't happy when he wakes up.

He's actually really fucking pissed.

But he's still a little groggy from sleep and the drug (mostly the drug) so it's funny.

Help this child, he thought he was getting off the couch normally, but turns out he just rolled off and onto the floor face first.

Your freaking out and laughing all at once.

Slurred, "What the fuck's so funny?!?"

He needs aspirin and water like a hangover.

He falls asleep again after you get him back onto the couch, and you fall asleep on the floor propped up against the couch in a sitting position.

You don't wake up till the kids get back (Max wakes you up).

The both of you manage to get Billy to his car. He still asleep like a log.

You go to your place, and they spend the night - Max was worried their dad would be even more angry if they woke him up, and even more so if he caught you helping Billy and Max into the house.

The next morning was very #Domestic.

With You waking up to find Max already up and looking through your cabinets for food.

Suprise, you end up making breakfast for everyone!

Max wanted chocolate chip pancakes, so chocolate chip pancakes she shall get.

No suprise, Billy wakes up while you both are making the sausages and bacon.

Full plate of eggs, bacon and sausage, and pancakes for everyone! Yay! 😀

Honestly the best morning the two of them have had for a while, but you won't catch either of them saying that outloud.

Max leaves to hang out with the others.

Billy still seems mad about the previous night.

"What, are you going to pout all morning? All day?"

"I dont pout."

"Oh I'm sorry, what would you prefer to call it- sulking? Brooding? Plotting my death?"

He tries to hide a snicker and lightly shoves you.

Going back to school the following Monday felt weird after everything that happened over the weekend.

You tried asking Steve what was up with all the drawings in Will's house, but he wouldn't budge.

Of course you tried asking Nancy and Jonathan too, but they acted like they didn't know anything.

The next few weeks were full of practice tests and prep assignments for finals.

You saw Billy less and less because you were hitting the books.

Sure he knew you were probably in the library, but after that weekend he wasn't sure how to go about interacting with you, or if he should do so anymore at all.

He kinda feels like you picked Steve over him.

He pops buy on Wednesday and almost gives you a heart attack. He's not surprised that you've been working yourself ragged, and your not surprised he hasn't even touched a text book (let's be honest, Billy doesn't strike me at the type of person to take notes in class, just pull out a pencil and paper to look like he's interested and go about his day).

Your freaking out, because finals but he doesn't flinch because you're like the smartest person he knows.

"Oh c'mon," he's managed to take your precious notes away, "You'll be fine, you're only stressing yourself out."

"Billy, I need those!"

"No you don't," He starts acting like he's reading the notes outloud, but he's getting the facts and formulas all wrong.

You correct him several times, and have actually started to chase him around the library.

Finally he closes the book after your sure you must have chased him around at least twice, "See, I told you. You don't need to study, you know this shit."

You both got kicked out of the library, again.

Billy is banned, but the librarian gives you one last chance...starting tomorrow.

You sigh in defeat, "Alright you proved your point, now give me my notebook back."

You reach for it.

"Nah," He raises it above his head so you can't reach it. Asshole.

Tommy and Carol show up and they think he's picking on you.

Neither of you sees them.

Tommy manages to snag the notebook, gives you an obnoxious laugh when you reach for it, and tosses it to Carol

"Give it back, shit face," Your mood went from playful to pissed in point zero seconds.

"What are you going to do about it, Heinz?"

Lord help you, you're about to throw hands again.

Billy snatches the book back and hands it to you, before looking at Tommy and Carol with a very stern expression.

"You idiots got anything better to do, huh?" He takes a few steps towards Tommy and for every step he takes, Tommy backs away.

Carol is distracted, which allows you to snatch your notebook back. She reaches for it again but you slap her hand away.

The message was very clear for them, so they take their leave and retreat back to wherever they came from.

Billy has lunch with you and manages to get you to skip the rest of school with him.

You don't want to miss during dead week, but the whole fiasco during your study period in the Library got you thinking- you need a break.

You also don't want the absent strike.

"You're such a goodie-two-shoes."

Peer pressure sucks.

You convince him to give you 30 minutes after the late bell rings to show up.

You go to class, set up your desk, the late bell rings, teacher calls role and marks you present. 7 minutes have passed.

You feign being ill.

It really wasn't hard. You just acted more tired than normal, threw in a couple "I have to stop what I'm doing because I have a headache," gestures. You even put your head down for a minute. You sit in the front so your body language is easy to pick up on and the teacher allows you to go to the nurses office when you ask. 12 minutes have passed.

When you get to the nurses office you throw the pass on the desk and storm into the private bathroom - closing the door behind you, before forcing yourself to dry heave. 27 minutes have passed.

You convince the nurse that it must be something you ate that's making you sick.

She gives you a pass and let's your teachers know you're sick and have gone home.

You meet Billy outside the school 30 minutes on the dot, he's surprised you actually came, and even more surprised that you lied well enough to get the teachers to excuse you for the rest of the day.

Of course you're upset when you see Tommy and Carol in the back seat, but you just roll your eyes and brush it off before climbing in shot gun.

Tommy and Carol are mocking you before you even get in.

"We didn't know the, mutt was coming along."

"How nice of you to bring something to entertain us, Billy."

Your looking at Billy through the corner of your eyes as he starts the car.

He waves you off, "Dont mind them."

You have no idea where you're going, or how long it will take so you pull out a book to read.

Before you can even open it, Carol snatches it from you, "What's the Nerd reading?!"

You roll your eyes again.

Tommy snatches it from the red head, "Stephan King. Christine."

"What's it?" Carol pipes up again, "Sappy romance novel?!"

"Wow, you both are actually uncultured, " you snatch the book away from Tommmy, "I'm impressed," and keep it out of his reach by out stretching your arm towards the dash, "Did it take all three of your brain cells to read that?"

Tommy tries to get his hands on you now, but you smack them away.

"Alright, alright!"

The three of you look surprised at Billy, "If you two don't quit your shit," he looks to the rearview mirror, "I'm kicking you out."

The rest of your ride was uneventful.

You arrive at Tommy's house.

His parents are also out of town.

But he lives in a large house with a pool and bar.

They're having an end of the year party and whoops you got dragged along.

You hadn't planned to be doing this with your time so you resort to studying more, much to Billy's behest, and Tommy and Carol's attempts to distract you.

You sit outside on a lawn chair next to the pool while they get everything prepped for the night.

Not much happens till it starts turning dark out, Billy calls you for help with something and when you leave you don't notice Carol and Tommy going for your stuff.

You can imagine your suprise when you find you stuff had been emptied into the pool.

Notebooks, text books, pencils, pens, erasers, even the book you were trying to read on the way.

You look up when you hear Carol laughing as she rounds the pool in your direction, and you see Tommy throw your bag in the pool.

"Are you fucking serious? What are you twelve?!"

Before you can react, Carol shoves you into the pool.

"And that's how you get a book worm to swim!"

You somehow manage to keep your cool, gathering your stuff and putting them on the edge of the pool away from Tommy and Carol. Though you didn't know why you bother, you can tell the ink is smeared and the pencil is faded now, only thing possibly salvageable was your pencils and your reading book, but even that was debatable.

You climb out and sit at the edge.

You feel physically uncomfortable

Your clothing is sticking to you.

And it's basically summer already so the air is hot and a little damp. You look up to see Billy storming out of the house.

"What the hell is going on?!"

"Relax, Billy, we were all just having a little fun, right?" Tommy looks at you like you're afraid of him so you're going to agree with him.

Yeah, no.

"Fuck off," you chuck your biggest text book at him.

None of them knew how well a text book could fly till it hits Tommy in the gut.

Go you! Bonus points for nailing him with the corner.

Your trying to wring the bottom of your clothes out when Tommy comes up from behind you and tries to grab you by the back of your head.

"Hey!" Billy is quickly making his way over to the both of you.

Carol tries to stop him, but she is poetically shoved to the side and subsequently falls into the pool.

You manage to elbow Tommy in the balls but the pain only makes him hold on harder.

"You little-"

He doesn't get to finish because he's promptly punched in the side of the face. You quickly back away from the edge incase Carol gets anymore funny ideas.

Billy helps you up and ushers you into the house.

"Sorry..." He sounds awkward, "About them."

You look at him with a deadpan expression, "Billy Hargrove, apologizing," you sigh with attitude, "pinch me. I must be dreaming."

He grits his jaw, "Don't you start being a smart ass with me- it's them who keep giving you crap!" He started raising his voice.

"Yeah, yet you still keep them around," you make your way over to the sink to keep wringing out your shirt and shoulder check him on the way, "Honestly, I don't even know why you keep them around- at least you have your reasons for being an asshole." You take off your shirt -much to Billy's suprise- so you can properly get rid of the water. Let's face it, a soaked shirt sticking to you like a second skin doesn't leave much to the imagination anyways, "Reasons," you turn to look at him for emphasis, "Not excuses," you turn back to the sink, "but understandable reasons nonetheless." You lay your shirt out flat on the kitchen's large counter to air dry (it's too dark and humid outside for it to dry any better outside anyways), "But they're just assholes because....because...." You sputter and shake your head, "I don't know, probably because they know they won't ever amount to anything better in their lives, so they figure they might as well tear down as many people as they can on their way to fucking nowhere."

You turn and look at him with an aggravated huff and cross your arms. Unfortunately Carol and Tommy walk in at that moment.

"You trashy mutt!"

"Stupid whore!"

"You really think, Billy's that desprit?!"

For a second you were confused. Then you remembered you didn't have a shirt on.

You roll your eyes again before throwing your still wet shirt back on.

"And what the hell Billy?! You really gonna' side with this half-breed?!"

Fuck this.

Fuck Carol.

Fuck Tommy.

And you know what? If this doesn't change, fuck Billy too. You dont need or deserve this.

You storm out the back door, gathering your things and shoving them in your dripping bag before walking around the side towards the front. Billy quickly runs out the front door to meet you outside.

"I'll take you home."

"No."

Billy calls your name and he almost sounds tired.

His tone is what makes you pause and turn around.

"Please."

You raise a brow and swallow your pride as well as your snarky comments, "Fine."

The party commences and goes on without the both of you.

Billy isn't quite sure what he enjoys more, being out and partying or enjoying a relaxing evening indoors, heavens knows he can't relax at home.

Max surprises the both of you by stopping by to visit.

The three of you hang out in your living room flipping through channels and eating popcorn.

Billy eats the least pop corn out off the three of you and opted to have some carrots and grapes less than half way through the first movie.

Billy is totally a health buff.

"Are Carol and Tommy really that bad?" Max mistakenly asked about your day.

"They have absolutely no redeeming qualities."

Max doesn't hide how she shoots a glance at her brother, 'And that fool does?' Is basically what her expression asked.

Billy glares at her from the couch opposite to hers and bites a carrot like it's her head.

You're covering your laughter with your hand.

From now on all my Imagines will be tagged by their titles, series, and parts! Hopefully this will make it easier to find a specific imagine if your looking for it. For example, anything relating to this series is tagged with "impossible", the series itself is tagged as "impossible series" and each individual part is tagged as "impossible pt.[1/2/3/etc.]"

Another example: part one is tagged as "impossible pt.1"