Your Touch, My Scars
Relationships: Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Word Count: 3,705
Additional Tags: Domestic Fluff, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Zack Fair Lives, POV Zack Fair, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Domestic Zakkura, Rain, Post-Nibelheim Incident (Compilation of FFVII), Post-canon, References to Crisis Core, Soft Cloud Strife
Zack got back home late.
It was already dark outside, where normally he was back by sunset, long-since inside and making dinner. Instead, the headlight on his motorcycle cut sharply across thick shadows and streaking rain as he slowed to park. With a flick of his thumb, he dragged his goggles up and onto his hair. His eyes prickled at the cold wind.
One of the lights was on up in the kitchen. He settled back in the saddle and stared for a second, just waiting until a figure blinked past.
Cloud. Cooking, Zack guessed. Picking up the slack that Zack had dropped in his effort to make one last delivery before calling it a night.
A quiet sort of guilt tugged at Zack as he cut the engine and swung his leg over the bike to stand. His boots splashed into small puddles, the dirt beneath him already muddy from the pouring rain around him, and he swiped a useless hand across his face before heading towards the door.
He didn't bother reaching for his keys, already knowing the door would be unlocked for him. Cloud always left it like that when he was home and Zack was out. It made it easier for him to slip inside, warm air and the smell of spices washing over him.
Water dripped from his hair and clothes onto the wood floor. Mud left smudged streaks where he stepped. He dropped his things on the small table nearby, then crouched, yanking off one boot.
There was just enough time for him to wonder to himself if Cloud had somehow not heard the sound of his bike or the door opening before he glanced up to find Cloud poking his head out of the kitchen at the end of the short front hall.
He was smiling. A small, amused smile, one that looked better on him than it had any right to considering Zack knew the amusement was aimed at him. It went well with the loose hoodie and baggy pants he had on, how his hair was pulled back away from his face in a short ponytail, and the soft tint to his mako-eyes.
“It's raining.” Cloud observed, like he was somehow being helpful.
“Thanks.” Zack grabbed his other boot. “I noticed.”
“So did our floor.”
With a scowl, Zack wishing that it felt more genuine and less like it was about to flip into a smile of his own any moment, he tossed both shoes to the side. “I make all of your deliveries for the day, and my thank you is mockery. This is the worst job I've ever had.”
“Close. Your thank you is the soup I'm making and the warm clothes in the dryer.”
He turned and vanished back into the kitchen, missing the way that Zack perked up. His socks squished as he started after Cloud.
“What kind of soup?” He asked.
“Dunno. I'm just dumping crap in.”
“It can't be worse than what we got in SOLDIER, so sounds good to me.”
That earned him a sharp look, and he lifted his hands in defense. This time, he couldn't help but smile.
“Go change.” Cloud ordered. “You're getting water everywhere.”
“Yessir,” Zack said, spinning on his heel to head for the laundry.
And Cloud was right; the clothes he'd chucked in for Zack were warm, comfortingly so. He pressed them to his face before closing the dryer and heading back to his and Cloud's bedroom. It was carpet, and better to drip on as he changed, or he'd have just thrown them on right where he was. It wasn't like he cared a lot if Cloud saw him shirtless.
On his way back, he passed the kitchen again, catching the quietest sound of Cloud humming, too soft for Zack to be able to pick out anything other than the vague tune. It tucked itself around Zack’s chest and cradled his heart as he reached their room, tossed his new clothes onto the bed, and shrugged out of his shirt.
There was a time a while ago where the idea of Cloud ever doing something as goofy as humming to himself would’ve been a pipe dream. He’d been too much of a hard-ass to ever let his guard down that much after Nibelheim.
It said something about how different everything was now that he was, and how comfortable they’d become, living here together. Working together. Being a team.
Grabbing his fresh t-shirt, Zack sighed, slipping it on in one smooth move. A few of his larger scars tugged at his skin as he changed into the pants, boxers, and cozy socks that Cloud had gotten him. With a brush of his hand over his hair, he gathered the wet clothes and chucked them into the bathroom sink.
Rain pattered gently against the window as he slipped back out into the hall. His footsteps were soft, so when he paused to lean against the doorway, Cloud didn't look up.
He was standing across the room, back to Zack, stirring the soup on the stove. Warm light washed over him from the overhead lights, reflecting off the window. His hair was practically golden from where Zack was standing.
For a minute, it was like they were in an entirely different world. One where this was all they'd ever known. Where Cloud's eyes were the same soft color they had been the first time Zack had looked into them, where their scars were little more than childhood accidents, where they'd never been separated at all. Where there'd been nights like this for as long as they could remember, Cloud's quiet voice drifting over their heads as he made dinner and Zack not bothering to soak it all in because he had no reason to think it'd ever be taken away from him.
(Continued on ao3)
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Zerith - "Sanctuary", Ch. IV preview
A/N: For more previews/updates, check out my Ko-fi.
Sanctuary
Chapter IV - One Time Gig
Cloud's decision, as Zack had quietly hoped, was met with cause to celebrate.
Tifa was beaming radiantly as he gave her the word, springing to her feet with her hands clasped together. At Zack's side, Cloud rubbed the back of his neck, flushed, but smiling dopily. Despite his bashfulness, he was clearly pleased to have spurned such a response from her.
In fact, Tifa was overcome by such joy, Zack sensed she was about to move into Cloud’s embrace, once more. This time, however, she caught herself, instead extending a hand toward him; perhaps a gesture she hoped would appear more professional. Zack was tempted, briefly, to ‘accidentally’ knock Cloud off balance, closing the distance between them. He thought better of it, though, feeling it wasn’t the appropriate time.
There would be plenty of chances later to relish in teasing his younger friend.
To commemorate the good news, Tifa insisted that they stay for dinner.
Eager, Zack accepted the invitation before Cloud could get a word out, suspecting his friend wouldn't want to intrude. Any urge Cloud had to protest, however, all but disappeared once Tifa shuffled behind the bar, a spring in her step and a smile all the more blinding.
From their shared table, Biggs, Jessie and Wedge seemed equally delighted for the extra hands, growing all the more excited about proceeding with their next mission, knowing now that they would have the knowledge and strength afforded by two ex-Soldiers in their ranks.
Zack happily dug into a generous portion of stew, managing to stay well-engaged in the conversation even amidst heaped spoonfuls. Cloud, however, for his part, nursed his own meal in awkward silence, unsure of where to rest his gaze. Having been shy in his younger years, Zack wondered if all the attention and scrutiny he was receiving from the rest of the room was making him uncomfortable. The loud, gregarious voices of their new Avalanche companions must have been overwhelming, not to mention the way their leader was still eying him sceptically. Though Zack seemed to have won Barret over, it looked like he still had some reservations about Cloud.
It was likely only the presence of Zack and Tifa that was helping to calm the nerves bundling for Cloud.
Though happy to take part in the celebration, as the night dragged on, Zack suspected it was a convenient excuse for Tifa to keep them; Cloud; around, even if for just a moment longer.
That much was solidified later when, after they'd eaten their fill, she offered to walk them back to the station, despite knowing they could more than comfortably navigate Sector 7 alone. The gesture almost offended Zack, who couldn't recall Tifa showing him this much hospitality when he had turned up on his own.
Still, he couldn't be too mad. It was obvious that she wasn't quite ready to part with Cloud yet.
As they made their way through the Slums together, Zack would catch her, every so often, glancing discreetly in the blond's direction. Though, her cheeks burnt and her eyes dipped whenever she felt Zack's gaze weighing on her.
Cloud, all the while, didn’t seem to have noticed.
Being in Tifa's company, made for a stark difference in how they were received by the Midgar locals. People were much friendlier, drawn toward Tifa; who, clearly, was an integral part of the community. Many passersby greeted her with a smile. Some called her by name, while others offered more... colourful greetings. Zack swore he could make out Cloud’s teeth grinding together with each one.
Still, not wanting them to feel ignored, Tifa did her best to muster up a conversation as they made their way along the Sector’s outskirts. Cloud, however, was far from talkative at the best of times, let alone when tongue-tied by nerves.
Tifa, however, appeared conscious of this and was careful in her approach; offering occasional, gentle attempts to coax him out of his shell. Unsurprising, given how long they had known each other, Zack guessed.
“So… Where have you two been staying all this time?”
“The Church in Sector 5,” Zack replied, teasingly, knowing it was Cloud she was hoping to receive an answer from. Though, if he was aggravating her, Tifa hid it well; a polite smile illuminating her features as she continued.
“Oh… Really?”
“Yep!” Zack exclaimed. “Got the whole attic to ourselves.”
"An attic?" Tifa echoed, her expression slipping and eyes flickering with concern. She looked to Cloud for confirmation, who ducked his head, suddenly ashamed.
“Hey, don’t knock it ‘til you try it!” Zack laughed with a nudge, a gesture he hoped would ease her worry. “But really, we’ve been wanting to spring for a room at the Inn for a while now. It’s just, most of our gil has gone towards… re-establishing ourselves.”
"I see." Tifa nodded, the answer working to placate her. "Well, if you ever need a place to stay, there’s an apartment building not far from here that has a free room. I know the landlady, so I could work something out if you’re interested.”
That piece of information caught Cloud's attention, as he stopped in place, turning toward Tifa.
"R- really?"
Tifa blinked, taken back initially by Cloud suddenly engaging her. Yet, she met him with equal enthusiasm.
“Yeah! Well... It might be a little cramped for the two of you... there is only one bed. But still, it’s a start.”
Cloud sighed, that momentary spark of hope he’d felt, snuffed out. Though the Church's attic was far from an ideal set-up, they were at least afforded their own space; a marked improvement from the conditions they’d struggled through, travelling cross-country on the road.
Judging by his reaction it was clear to Zack that Cloud had been hoping to accept Tifa's offer, wanting to be closer to his old friend. Yet, he could hardly justify moving what little they’d established of themselves and their new lives over to an entirely different sector when there wasn’t even enough room for the two of them.
He couldn't put their comfort behind his own selfish means. That wouldn't be fair.
Zack, however, felt differently.
Cloud was someone who, on the surface, appeared withdrawn and distant. Even, at times, snarky. Zack, however, knew better. He knew that, at his core, Cloud was someone steadfast and optimistic, always striving to see the best in others and fighting for what was right.
These past few weeks, though, Zack worried that that part of him was slipping away.
He could understand, given the recent, poor fortune their lives had seen. Being discarded by the company you’d worked tirelessly to serve was only bound to fuel one’s inner cynic.
Still, Zack didn’t want his friend to become so jaded that he lost touch with himself. Not when he’d seen so many others he cared for fall down similarly dark paths.
He wondered if perhaps rekindling his friendship with Tifa more could help him regain a semblance of his old self.
It seemed counterintuitive for Cloud to deprive himself of something that made him happy.
At least, in Zack’s mind, it was worth a try.
Smirking, he clapped Cloud across the back, enough to penetrate the funk covering him.
"You know what, Spiky, why don't you take her up on that offer? I'm sure I can manage on my own."
Cloud stumbled, enough for Tifa to reach out and help steady him. He held up his hands to reassure her, his cheeks dusted with a flush, before eventually regaining his composure.
"Zack, what are you talking about?"
To Zack’s surprise, from the way Cloud’s gaze lingered and his eyebrows knit together sharply, he did not seem open to the idea. In fact, he appeared to be giving every silent indication that he was upset.
Zack couldn’t understand. He thought Cloud would have appreciated the chance to be closer to Tifa. His earlier disappointment realising there wouldn’t be enough room for them both to stay clearly suggested as much. There must have been a lot they needed to catch up on still.
Though, having always harboured insecurities about being a burden and given, Shinra’s recent abandonment, Zack supposed he could understand how Cloud might have found the gesture abrupt, even hurtful. After all the time they’d spent together, he was casting him aside so easily.
It had been thoughtless of him.
Biting his lip, Zack glanced around. The station was still bustling with life, despite the late hour. It really wasn’t the right place to unpack all of this, but there weren’t really any other options. Glancing helplessly toward the steel sky, Zack sighed.
"Sorry, Tifa. Do you think we could... have a moment?"
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