#zar yaps

[travis-enthusiast]

SHADOW KNIGHT HEADCANON (i yap)

i feel like shadow knights have their own language in the nether so when some of them (laurance and gene) come out of the nether, they forget words they knew in english so they have to kinda watch and listen so they can blend it... i think they can shape shift into other people???? idk i remember in s3 when zane i think did..... wtv im making it canon,, shifting into another person and making it accurate is difficult when they dont remember english....... they also write in it too... i would say that travis and lucinda could MAYBE translate it with their magic... only bc their kinda powerful, nana cannot translate it.. so magicks is off the list, sometimes shadow knights can mix in english words its literally just like any other language except no other being except sk's can learn it. (except they dont really even learn it,, when they die as a human and come back as a shadow knight, the nether language just replaces their original language) please add on to this if you have anything i like input

[hataysekshikayelerisblog]

Çok Hızlı! (16) (Orhan 36 Y., Bursa)

Koruparktan çıktığımızda Nur çocuklar gibi şendi. Arabanın bagajı ve arka koltuğu çantalarla doluydu. Arabayı Mudanya'ya sürdüm. "Biraz meze, balık, rakı içer misin?" dedim. "Hiç içmedim hayatımda, birkaç kez bira ve votka içtim, ama rakı denemedim!" dedi. "Alışırsın!" dedim. Yarım kadeh zorla içti, "Acıymış!" diye diye. Saat 14:30 civarı, "Hadi kalkalım!" dedim.

Arka sokağa ev girişine çektim arabayı. "Neresi burası? Büro diğer sokakta ya?" dedi. "Arka giriş!" dedim. Çantaları zor zar aldık. İçeri girip ev ortamını görünce, "Aaaa!" dedi. Çantaları bıraktık. "Neresi burası?" dedi tekrar. "Dinlenme bölümü, işlerden bunalınca buraya kaçarım. Şimdi elbiseleri deneyeceksin, ben orada tam bakamadım!" dedim. İç çamaşırlarından alt üst deri G-String, dantelli diz üstü çorap ve jartiyeri çıkardım. Siyah dar mini eteği ve beyaz bir gömlek çıkarıp uzattım. "Al bunları giy gel yan odada. Saçlarını da topuz yap!" dedim. "Yaaaa, burda mı?" dedi. Çantasını da alıp odaya giderken, "Yarın giyerim!" diye gülümseyerek naz ediyordu.

5 dakika sonra geldiğinde makyaj bile yapmıştı. O içeride ilk elbisesini denerken yandaki Optikciden aldığım numarası 5 ayrı renkteki gözlüklerden siyah olanı çıkarıp gözüne taktım. Gömleğinin üstten 2 düğmesini açıp, parmağımı boynundan çatala doğru nazikçe sürtüp, "İşte şimdi muhteşem oldun!" dedim. Karşısına geçip oturdum. "Otur!" dedim ona da karşımdaki koltuğu işaret edip. O kadar güzel ve sexy oldu ki, seyrederek boşalabilirdim.

��ki dakika sonra, "Ya alışık değilim ya, altımdaki çok rahatsız etti!" dedi. "G-String giymez misin hiç?" dedim. "İlk kez giydim." dedi yarı mahçup, sonra da, "Eee, yarın ne yapacağım, böyle giyinmemi istediğine göre alışmam gerekecek!" dedi. "İstersen giymezsin!" dedim. "Oldu, senin yanında, herkesin içinde külotsuz mu dolaşayım?" dedi gülerek. Omuz silktim.

"İki bira alsana dolaptan!" dedim mini buzdolabını gösterip. "Sen beni sarhoş etmeye mi çalışıyorsun?" deyip gülerek biraları açıp getirdi. "Gerek var mı?" dedim. Omuz silkti. Elinden tutup kucağıma oturttum ve "Sen çok güzel bir kadınsın!" dedim. Çenesinden tutup kendime çektim. Kafasını geri çekti ve "Dün içeri girip seninle tanıştığım anda öyle bir çekim hissettim ki, keşke Güzin'in yerine ben çalışsam burda dedim. Akşam Güzin, Yarın gel Orhan seninle konuşmak istiyor dediğinde, bu adamla çalışırsak kesin birlikte oluruz dedim, ama ilk günden beklemiyordum!" dedi.

"Sen kapıdan girdiğinde dün, hem de dış kapıdan, nefesim kesildi!" dedim. "Ben kocamı hiç aldatmadım, aklımdan bile geçirmedim, ta ki dün seni görene dek. Ben hayatımda, ilk lise çağında merakla yaparsın ya arkadaşlarından duyup, bir kez yapmıştım masturbasyon, ama dün burdan gittiğimde direk yattığımız odaya girip elimi amıma attım, bağırmamak için dudaklarımı ısırarak orgazm oldum!" dedi.

Dudaklarını dudaklarıma çektim. Öyle ihtiraslı değil, romantizmle öpüşüyorduk. İşte, Çiğdem'den sonra yine aşık oluyordum. Bu da elimden kayıp gitmez umarım dedim içimden. Öpüşmeler devam ederken kucaklayıp yatağa uzattım kolları boynumda. Hiç acele etmeden öpe öpe soyduk birbirimizi, alnından ayak parmaklarının ucuna dek öpüp kokladım. Sonra da yüzüstü çevirip ensesinden topuklarına parmak uçlarımı dolaştıra dolaştıra öpüp yaladım.

Çok hafif kıllıydı amı. Bacaklarının arasına kafamı gömdüğümde misler gibi parfüm kokuyordu. Kokladığımı görünce, "İçeride giyinirken parfüm sıktım!" dedi kıkırdayıp. Saçlarımdan tutmuş amına bastırıyordu kafamı, ben amcığını dilimle sikerken. Doya doya suyunu içtim. Hırıltılı sesler çıkarıyor, "Baştan çıkardın beni, ilk günden kadının oldum, köle olurum ben sana!" diye inliyordu fısıltılı bir sesle, sanki konuşmasını sevip sevmediğimi bilmediğinden tereddütle. Belki yarım saat yaladım amını. İnleye inleye saçlarımı okşarken, "Sevgilim, Orhanım!" lafları arasında orgazmları titreme şeklinde önce vücudunun üst kısmı sallanmaya başlıyor, sonra kafasını sağa sola atıyor, sonra da kalçalarını aşağı yukarı yatağa vuruyordu. Bunu o yarım saatte 2 kez yaptı.

Yanına yastığa başımı koydum ve "Hayatımda suyunu içtiğim en güzel amcık bu!" dedim. Beni sırtüstü itip üzerime çıktı, eliyle yarağımı tutup amına yerleştirip üstüne oturdu. İkimizden de öyle derin bir, "Ohhhhh!" çıktı ki, kesin büroda Güzin duymuştur diye düşündüm. Yavaş ama sexy hareketle yarağımın üzerinde oturup kalkarken ellerimiz birbirine kenetlenmiş göz göze sikişiyorduk. Sadece dudaklarını kemiriyor, arada gözleri kayıyor, ama o sakin hani hiç bitmesin dercesine sevişmemizi devam ettiriyordu...

Ne kadar sürdü bilmiyorum ama, yorulmaya başladığı belli oluyordu. İçinden hiç çıkmadan çevirip altıma aldım. Köklemeye ve hızlı hızlı pompalamaya başladım. "Off aşkım, off Orhanım, offf işte dün tam da bunu düşünüp boşaldım, sik aşkım, daha hızlı, daha sert!" diye inliyordu. Sanki az önceki masum yavaş sikişen çift biz değildik. Ben de, "Dünden beri bu anı hayal ediyorum, akşamdan beri başka bir şey düşünemedim!" diye fısıldıyordum kulağına...

Boşalmak üzere olduğumda, "İçine mi aşkımm?" dedim. Evet, haplıyım!" dedi. Hani aylardır sevişmelerimizi anlattım ya, yok böyle bir şey, eminim beynim bile uyuşup aktı, sikimin kafasından ruhum boşaldı. Kollarım titredi, üstüne yığılacaktım kenara zor attım kendimi. Dönüp direk sarılıp koltuk altıma girdi. Seksten sonra bir süre kadına dokunmak istemez ya binlerce erkek, ben de genelde öyleydim, ama Nur'u içime sokacaktım o an, sımsıkı sarıldık. Diğer kadınların hepsini unuttum o an, "Sen muhteşemsin!" dedim, burnuna küçük bir öpücük kondurup.

"Hepsinden de iyi miyim?" dedi. Şaşkınlıkla baktım yüzüne. "Güzin dün herşeyi anlattı bana, bu tür şeyleri yapmadığımı, aldatmaya, aldatılmaya karşı olduğumu bildiği için, bak burası böyle diye anlattı. Baştan çok acayip geldi, tiksindim, ama yine de senin çekimine karşı koyamayıp kabul ettim! Sakın ona kızma, biz liseden beri birbirimizden hiçbir şey gizleyemedik. Bana seni telefonda söylemişti zaten, ama diğerlerini dün öğrendim!" dedi.

Ben de dün Güzin'in (Vermez!) deyişini hatırlayıp, meğer hatunu hazırlamış bile orospu dedim içimden. Elimi yanaklarına götürüp gözlerinin içine bakarak, "Seni onlarla aynı kefeye koymuyorum, senin yerin ayrı, sen sadece benim olacaksın, bunu onlara uygun bir dille anlatırım ben!" dedim. Nur, "İyi de içeride ne yaptığınızı bilirken nasıl duracağım dışarıda?" dedi. "Bilmiyorum, ama şu an sadece bana ait olmanı istiyorum, sen beni paylaşmak zorunda kalacaksın, ama kıskanma, bu da işin bir parçası gibi düşün!" dedim.

Nur, "Sana bir şey söylemem gerek!" dedi. "Hiçbir konuda gizlimiz saklımız olmayacak, rahat ol, tamam mı?" dedim. Nur, "Refik, kocam, işe başlamamı istemiyor aslında, yakında Konya'ya döneriz diyor, bir iş kovalıyorum olursa borçları kapar dükkanı açarız diye tutturdu!" dedi. Gülümsedim ve "Gönderirsin gider! Bak seni buldum, bırakmam, ona göre!" dedim. Sımsıkı sarıldı, "Ben de aşkım!" dedi. Biraz hayal kurduk. Sonra, "Sen geç kalmadan üstünü değiş git, yarın gelir (gizli geçidi gösterdim), burada üstünü değiştirir, işbaşı yaparsın!" dedim. "Tamam aşkım!" dedi sımsıkı sarılıp, öpücüklere boğup, kalkıp giyinmeye başladı. Kendi kıyafetlerini giyip, kapıda dudaklarımı kemire kemire öpüp, "Gitmek istemiyorum ama!" diye diye gitti.

Saat 17:30'du. Giyinip büroya geçtim. Güzin, "Nur nerde?" dedi. "Sabah işbaşı yapacak. Ben çıkıyorum, sen de dilediğinde kapat çık!" dedim. Doğru Emlakçı arkadaşa gittim. Balat, Bademli ve Beşevler üstünde 3 yerde söylediği gibi üç arazi vardı. Üçünün de yerlerini, belgelerini, fotolarını, fiyatlarını aldım. Saat 19:00'da evdeydim. Yemekten sonra Behiye ablaya mesaj atıp, "Araziyi buldum, bize kadar gelsene!" diye aradım. 10 dakika sonra kahveler eşliğinde tüm evrakı yayıp laptoptan da uydu görüntüsünü açtığımız arazilere baktık. Behiye ablanın bir eli masa altından habire bacaklarımı okşuyor, sikime dokunmaya çalışıyorken, Misi yolundaki 150 dönümlük araziyi beğendik. "Pahalı ama!" dedim. "Ulan öbür tarafa mı götüreceğiz bu kadar parayı? Hem sen üstüne villaları dikince çok daha pahalı olacak!" dedi Behiye abla, karım gevrek gevrek gülerken.

Karım çocuğa bakmaya gidince, Behiye abla yarağımı avuçlayıp, "Yeni hatunu siktin mi bugün koçum?" dedi usulca. Gülümsedim. "Şeytan tüyü var lan sende!" dedi. Sonra karıma seslenip, "Kızım, kutlayalım bunu, ne var ne yoksa yığ bakalım dolaptan!" dedi. "Ben hazırlayayım!" dediğimde yarağımı bastırdı. Elimi tutup masa altına soktu. Sıyırdığı bol ve uzun eteğinin altına amcığının üstüne koydu ve usulca, "Bağırttırma ama, yakalanmayalım!" dedi. Parmaklarımı içine soktum o sırada mutfaktan tabak çanak sesleri geliyordu. Parmaklarım çalışırken, "Ha bak bu güzel, evet!" diye laptopun ekranını gösteriyor, ben mouse ile, "Burası mı?" dedikçe, "Hah tam orası!" diyor, diğer eliyle de yarağımı sıvazlıyordu şortun üstünden. Karım mutfaktan çıkınca direk karşıdan geleceği ve masada da örtü olduğundan rahattık...

Sonra birkaç villa fotosu açtım. Tam ikinci fotodayken, Behiye abla, "Ohhhhh, bak bu çok güzel!" dedi. Karım mutfaktan kafayı uzattı ve "Ne o?" dedi. "Villa!" dedim. "Kapatmayın, geliyorum az sonra!" dedi. Behiye abla da, "Tamam kızım, tamam açarız!" dedi gülerek. Rahatlamış halde koltuğa geçti. Ben de iki dakika sonra yarağım inince mutfaktan malzemeleri almak için kalktım. Masayı kurduk. 4 tane bardak getirdi karım. Behiye abla atladı, "Sen içmeyecek misin gelin kız? diye. "Abla çocuk emziriyorum!" dedi karım. "Yok mu pompan, çek koy biberona!" dedi Behiye abla. Karım, "Ay doğru valla!" deyip yatak odasına gidince, Behiye abla ayağıyla topa vurur gibi yapıp, usulca, "Şutla bunu, şutla!" dedi...

Karım villaları duyup görsellere de bakarken, sevinçten ne yaptığını bilmeden 2 kadeh rakı içti yarım saat içinde. "Ben kıza bakayım!" deyip yatak odasına yalpalaya yalpalaya giderken biz devam ettik. 10 dakika sonra Behiye abla, "Sızdı sanırım seninki! Bana geçelim! Kasadan para verecek diye yaz senin meşhur kağıtlarına!" dedi. Karımı kontrol edip çıktık. Avuçladığım götünü kıvıra kıvıra Behiye ablaya geçtik...

"Ne zamandır başbaşa sikişemedik aslanım, şimdi beni nasıl istersen öyle evir sik, böyle çevir sik!" dedi. Rakının etkisiyle gevşek gevşek ama piston gibi siktim amcığını. "Aslanım benim, oh, oh, oh, sok amıma, acıma sok kanırt!" diye inliyordu. Bense asıl sikmek istediğim, ya da sikmesem bile sarılmak istediğim kadın Nur varken, hıncımı Behiye abladan çıkardım. "Şimdi de final!" dedi daha dinlenmeme fırsat vermeden domalıp, götünü yarağıma dayadı. Kıvıra kıvıra götünün arasına sürte sürte tekrar kaldırdı yarağımı. Eliyle hizalayıp aldı içine. Daha 5 dakika önce boşaldığım için pompalamaya devam ettim. Arkadaşın ilaç süpermiş diyordum içimden...

Behiye ablanın kalçaları resmen kıpkırmızı olmuş, neredeyse kanayacaktı tokatlarımdan. Uzanıp çekmeceden o kara taşaklı vakumlu yarağı aldı. İlk Güzin'e sokmuştu onu bu evde aylar önce. Amcığına sürtüyor, arada kafasını içine sokuyordu. Ama ben habire götüne pompalıyordum. Kasıla kasıla orgazm oluyor, ama yeter demiyordu orospu. Belki yarım saat pompaladım götüne. "Gel, ağzıma boşal!" dedi. Ağzına boşaldım. "Mmmmhhh!" diye diye yaladı yuttu döllerimi...

"Yarın gidip bakalım şu araziye!" dedi. Oysa ben yarın tüm gün Nur'u karşıma alıp akşama dek onu seyretmeyi planlıyordum.

[Orhan]

[hayatrakidanibaret]

ben bazen çok zorlanıyorum, en basit şeyleri bile yapmak istemiyorum yapacak enerji bulamıyorum. çok düşünüyorum her zamanki gibi bi yanım diyo şundan bundan böyle oldu hayırlısı buymuş bi yanım diyo hayırını bayırını sikeyim, bi yanım diyo gelsin bitsin bu çile, bi yanım diyo sen her şeyi söyledin neler yaşadın neler hissettin nasıl zor ayağa kalktığını hepsini söyledin ama ne oldu geldi ve gene aynısını yaptı ve hayatına devam etti :) tüm herkes neden böyle neden bu bencillik neden bu hep daha iyisi merakı neden bu sadece tüketim isteği neden neden neden her gün en çok bu soruyu soruyorum kendime NEDEN NEDEN

hayır çok dengesizim sebebini bilmiyorum çok çabuk modum değişiyor yapmamam gereken her şeyi biliyorum yapma işte salak çocuk yapma ne yaparsan kendine yapıyosun sadece doğru bildiğini yap ama beyninin söylediği doğrular kalbinin söylediği değil çünkü kalbinin doğrularını ne zaman dinlesen yarraa yedin güzel insan hiç sekmedi. üzülüyorum sadece çok düşünüyorum acaba gerçek bir hayat mı yaşıyoruz yoksa herkes gerçekten bu kadar yapay mı? acaba ben bu kadar net düz bir insan olduğum için mi diğerleri bana çok garip geliyor bilmiyorum. ama bildiğim tel bir şey var ben bunların hiçbirini haketmedim ben hep elimden geldikçe iyi olmaya çalıştım çünkü bana bu öğretildi, iyilik yapma amacıyla yapmıyorum ben benim doğrularım böyle, ama insanlar çok kötü saf bir kötülük bu salaklık bencillik felan değil, hani biz tatlı gözüküyoruz vur ensesine al ekmeğini felan ama bizim de bi dur noktamız var ona gelince alayına isyan bayraklarını çekmesini bilirim ama ben sadece sessiz sedasız kenara çekilmeyi tercih ettim her zaman insanlara acı çektirmenin canını sıkmanın hiçbir lüzumu yok çünkü

tam uyumak için yatağa girdim yapmamam gereken bir şey yaptım ve bunun cezasını çekiyorum şuan, ama gerçekten çok kırıldım her hafta bir şey oluyor ve benim zar zor yapıştırdığım parçalar tekrar tuzla buz oluyor, ben bu kadar kırılgan bir çocuk değildim ya da bu kadar kırılgandım ama ipler her zaman elimdeydi, o kadar uzun zamandır ipler benim elimde değil ve bu beni o kadar çok rahatsız ediyor ki...

çok uzun senelerdir hayattan gerçekten çok keyif aldığım söylenemez çünkü hiçbir şey istediğim gibi gitmiyor. tamam ben her zaman işlerim yolunda gitsin istemiyorum ama en basit şey için bile bu kadar savaşmaktan çok yoruldum gerçekten çok yoruldum, yapmam gereken çok şey var ama hiç enerjim ve mentalim yok ve bu durum beni daha çok strese sokuyor çünkü sadece vakit kaybediyorum, evi taşıyacağım yatıyorum ders çalışmam lazım dizi izliyorum sektörden iş paslıyolar ghostluyorum yani kısacası sadece kendime zarar veriyorum ve bunu bilerek yapıyorum, bu hiç sağlıklı bir şey değil.

size de şey oluyor mu arkadaşlar merak ediyorum böyle küçücük minnacık bir şeye aşşşşırı anlam yüklediğiniz ama insanların onları bir çırpıda yerle bir ettiği, bana çok oluyor çünkü . yarrrrak gibi bir his çünkü ve benim artık ne sabrım kaldı ne mentalim kaldı.

aslında kötü bir hayatım yok tek sorun sanırım kendime yanlış metaforlar belirledim ve ısrarla da bir değişikliğe gitmiyorum. kısacası gerizekalı arkadaşlarımı eleştirdiiğim konuma sanırım bende dahil olmuş durumdayım

neyse hala kendimi taktir ettiğim çok şey var mesela iyi birisiyim ben gerçekten düşünceliyim ince düşünürüm insanlar için tek derdim çevremdeki insanlara nasıl dokunabilirim bir de şey Behzat Ç. de Harunun şey sahnesi var "ben adam gibi adamım" diyor heh bende öyleyim işte ne yaparsam kendime yapıyorum ne yaşayacaksam köşeme çekilip usulca sürecin bitmesini bekliyorum (ama son zamanlarda bu çok yorucu olmaya başladı)

sabah nuraya gidicem bu mentalle nasıl uykuya dalacağım bilmiyorum sabah nasıl kalkıcam terapiden sonra kalkıp hiçbir şey yokmuş gibi mesaiye gidicem felan çok büyüyor her şey gözümde. off neyse yeter artık çok konuştum, bunları yazmamın sebebi aslında bu konuşmaları ben sürekli kafamda yapıyorum ama içimden çıkarmadığım için hiçbir anlamı olmuyor, bu kadar şeyi de deftere yazmaya aşırı üşendim hele ki bu saatte bence mantıklı bir hareket yapıp kısa yoldan yazıya döktüm dönüpte okumam zaten bunu zaten burdada anonimim beni tanıyan kimse de yok zaten bu kadar uzun yazıyıda kimse okumaz üşenir çok haklılar çok hak veriyorum.

yazmamam gerekiyor biliyorum ama maalesef bunu da içimden atmam lazım, keşke o yorumu silmeseydin neden böyle oldu bilmiyorum gerçekten o kadar uzun zamandır düşünüyorum ki bunu ama hala mantıklı bir sonuca varamadım, mantıklıyı geç herhangi bir sonuca varamadım, ben sadece saygı duyup köşeme çekildim, iteklendiğimi kabul ettim sanırım biraz geç farkettim ama ettim bir şekilde öenmli olan bu değil mi ??

[mukemmelhatalarim]

hasta başındayken bi’ anda atağının gelmekte olduğunu nefesinin daraldığını hissediyorsun kendini kimse görmesin diye kuytu bi yere atmaya çalışırken ellerinin ve ayaklarının kontrolünü yitiriyorsun. ilk bulduğun yere yığılıp kalbine vura vura nefes almaya çalışıyorsun. olmuyor 5 dk önce yeten nefes ne yaparsan yap yetmiyor. sayıyorsun biir ikii baştan biir baştan biir ikii üçü bile göremiyorsun. beşi görsen geçecek ama olmuyor. gözlerinden yaşlar boşanıyor. Allah ımm diyebiliyorsun sadece Allah ım nefes alamıyorum.. dakikalar sonra beş.. yavaş yavaş geçiyor. orada ne kadar zaman kaldın bilmiyorsun. ilk alabildiğin nefeste şükrediyorsun. sonra ağlıyorsun. ellerinin titremesi geçsin kalbindeki sancı geçsin diye bekliyorsun. dakikalarca. nefes alıyorsun geçti. zar zor ayaklanıp tekrar içeri giriyorsun solunum arrest bi amca geliyor koşuyorsun. bir dakika önce yeten nefes yetmeyebiliyor. koşuyorsun.

[allnightmares]

Doktoruma mektup

Peki doktor İnsan bir başkasını cezalandırmak için mi intihar eder

Daha önce çevrenizdeki insanlara yük mü oluyorum acaba düşündünüz mü

Canını en yakını hatta hayatını en yakını tarafından darma duman edilmiş ( hayallerinden heveslerinden vaz geçirilmiş ) biri için ne dersiniz tamam bu olaylar oldu ama kendi istemeden yaşandı engel olamadı ve bu düğüm kör düğüm hala daha çözülemiyor

Siz hiç bir şeyler olsun diye çok isteyip hatta bunun için de kendinizi bitirdiniz mi bitirmiş biri olarak soruyorum bitirmiş ve başaramamış biri olarak siz başardınız mı mutluluğu nasıl bir his

Bak doktor bu seninle ilk görüşmemiz değil belki son olur bilemeyiz bu odadan çıkıp merdiven boşluğundan atabilirim kendimi kafam çok karışık sevdiğim insanlar çok değer verdiğimden hep kaybettim biliyorum biliyorum hayat benim hayatım ama bu hayata gelmek benim kararım değildi insanlar seçim yapar seçtiği yollar da ilerlerken zorluk çıkar ve bunun üstesinden gelebilirler çünkü bu yolu onlar seçmiştir bana seçim hakkı verildiğini sanmıyorum bile ama karşımda sürekli zorluk boyumdan büyük zorluk ben gelemiyorum üstesinden çünkü bu yolu ben seçmedim bana sunmadılar seçenek tuttular kolumdan çektiler beni içeri ve şimdi diyorlar ki geç biz sana destek olucaz olmuyorlar da yalnızım kendimi çaresiz ve yalnız hissediyorum kimseye duygum kalmadı insanlara beslediğim tek duygu sinir ve nefret yoruldum benim hayatım yokmuş gibi davranılmasından istediğim şeyi yaparken sanki dünyanın sonu getirmişim gibi azarlanmaktan çok yoruldum bıktım sığındığım her insanın alay eder gibi bana geçer sen kafana çok takıyorsun eğlen gez toz hoşlandığın şeyleri yap demesinden çok sıkıldım bana bunları diyen aile bireylerimin de bunları ben yaptıktan sonra benzettiği yanlış insanlar veya sanki evi araziyi satmış da tek zar da kaybetmişim gibi davranması yordu o kadar çıkmaza soktu ki beni ne yapıcam bilmiyorum sıkışmış gibiyim attığım her adımda yahut yaptığım her eylemde acaba ne derler düşüncesine istemsiz kapılmaktan çok sıkıldım.

İntihar etmek cesaret isteyen bir şey ve bunun bir kurtuluş bi huzura kavuşma şekli olmadığını bir çok insan gibi ben de biliyorum ama içimdeki kin ve öfke zamanla bana bunu n doğru olduğunu düşündürtüp bu cesareti toplamama yardımcı olmaya başladı artık intihar için belirli yolları kafamda kurmaya başlattı ki ben eskiden böyle aptalca şeyleri çok hatta hiç düşünen biri değildim insan,hayvan, gül , seven biriydim artık ne gülün rengi kaldı gözümde ne de hayvanın şevkati. bi insan ölmüş denildiğinde üzülen biri olarak bu haberi aldığımda rahmet eylesin diyip yanına komşu gidicez yakında diyen biri oldum ve bu bana haz vermeye başladı

Yalnızlıktan korkan biriydim ben daha önce size anlattım mı bilmiyorum şimdi ise Yalnız kalmak istiyorum ne arayanım olsun ne soranım bir başıma kalmak bana daha güzel geliyor bir de kendimce bir hata yaptım hayatıma birini aldım aklımda başka biri var iken sıkıntı da şu hayatımdaki insana hiç bir duygu besleyemiyorum ben sanki günümü geçirmek için konuşuyorum onunla oysa o beni çok seviyor bunu hissediyorum hissettikçe de ondan soğuyorum onu kırmaktan korktuğum için de rol yapıyorum severmiş gibi bu beni kendimden de soğutuyor kendim demişken kendim için ne yapıyorum tam anlamıyla hiç bir şey ne bakım yapıyorum ne düzenli traş oluyorum kuru bir yaprak gibiyim savrulup duruyorum

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Sultan Mahmut kıyafet değiştirip, beraberinde sadrazam ve birkaç muhafız ile halkı teftişe çıkmış. Dolaşırken bir kahvehaneye girip oturmuşlar. Bakmışlar müşteriler kahvehaneciye seslenip duruyor: "Tıkandı Baba, çay getir"; "Tıkandı Baba kahve getir". Tıkandı Baba lakabı Sultan Mahmut'a ilginç gelmiş. Merak edip kahvehaneciyi çağırmış. Kahvehaneci gelince:

- Baba sana neden "Tıkandı Baba" derler? Hele otur da anlat, demiş.

Tıkandı Baba başlamış anlatmaya:

- Ben bir gece, bir rüya gördüm. Rüyamda tanıdığım tüm insanların bir çeşmesi vardı ve hepsinin çeşmesinden oluk oluk su akıyordu. Benim de bir çeşmem vardı fakat benim çeşmemdeki su ip gibi akıyordu. Sonra ben; "Keşke benim çeşmem de onlarınki kadar aksa" diye içimden geçirdim. Sonra yerden bir çomak alıp suyun geldiği oluğu dürtmeye başladım. Ben oluğu dürterken çomak kırıldı ve ip gibi akan suyum damlamaya başladı. Bu sefer ben; "Keşke çeşmem diğerlerininki kadar olmasa da, bari eskisi kadar aksa" diye içimden geçirdim ve oluğu kurcalamaya devam ettim. Ben uğraşırken suyun geldiği oluk tamamen kırıldı. Az önce damlayan suyum, tamamen kesildi. Ben yine uğraşmaya devam ediyordum ki, o sırada Cebrail göründü; "Tıkandı, baba! Artık uğraşma!" dedi. O gün bu gündür bu rüyamı kime anlattıysam adım Tıkandı Baba'ya çıktı. Hangi işe elimi attıysam olmadı. Şimdi de burada çaycılık yapıp zar zor geçinmeye çalışıyorum.

Tıkandı baba'nın anlattıklarından etkilenen Sultan Mahmut, muhafızlarına; "Bundan sonra her gün bu adama bir tepsi baklava getirin; her baklava diliminin altına da bir altın koyun." diye emir vermiş. Hemen ertesi gün askerler ilk tepsi baklavayı getirip, Tıkandı Baba'ya teslim etmişler. "Padişahımızdandır" diyerek...

Tıkandı Baba baklavaya sevinmiş. "Ne zamandır tatlı yemişliğim de yoktu" diye içinden geçirmiş. Almış tepsiyi tutmuş evinin yolunu. Yolda düşünmüş kendi kendine; "Yahu ben bir canıma nasıl yerim bir tepsi baklavayı? En iyisi ben buna hiç dokunmadan satayım."

Tıkandı Baba işlek bir yol kenarına kurmuş tezgâhını başlamış; "Taze baklava! Taze baklava!" diye bağırmaya... Bu sırada yoldan geçen bir Yahudi baklavaya talip olmuş. Üç aşağı beş yukarı anlaşmışlar, Yahudi baklavayı alıp gitmiş... Tıkandı Baba baklavadan kazandığı ile ihtiyaçlarının bir kısmını karşılamış.

Yahudi baklavayı evine götürmüş. Bir dilim atmış ağzına... Fakat dişine bir şey değmiş... Bu nedir diye bir bakmış ki; altın. Ve baklavanın her diliminin altında bir tane altın... Yahudi bu duruma anlam veremese de ertesi gün tekrar aynı yere gitmiş ki; aynı adamı görür müyüm diye... Bakmış ki adam orada... Demiş ki; "Sen her akşam burada olacaksan, biraz indirim yap da ben her akşam alayım bu baklavaları senden." Tıkandı Baba kabul etmiş ve her akşam baklavayı Yahudi'ye satmaya başlamış.

Sultan Mahmut, bir ay baklava gönderdikten sonra; "Bakalım Tıkandı Baba şimdi ne durumda?" deyip adamlarıyla beraber tutmuş kahvenin yolunu. Fakat bu kez kıyafet değiştirmeden... Sultan Mahmut bakmış ki; Tıkandı Baba aynı tas aynı hamam. Ne uzamış ne kısalmış. Yine aynı kahvehanede, ekmek kavgasında... Sultan Mahmut, Tıkandı Baba'yı yanına çağırtıp sormuş:

- Tıkandı Baba sana yolladığım baklavaları almadın mı?

Tıkandı Baba biraz mahcup:

- Geldi hünkârım, demiş. Ben de satıp ihtiyaçlarımı giderdim. Duacınızım.

Sultan Mahmut, bunu duyunca tebessüm etmiş. "Anlaşıldı Tıkandı Baba, sen gel bakalım benimle" demiş. Birlikte sarayın yolunu tutmuşlar. Saraya varınca Sultan Mahmut, Tıkandı Baba'yı doğruca hazine odasına götürmüş. Sultan Mahmut, Tıkandı Baba'nın eline bir kürek tutuşturup:

- Baba daldır bakalım küreği istediğin yere... Küreğin üzerinde ne kalırsa senindir, demiş.

Bunu duyan Tıkandı Baba öyle heyecanlanmış ki; küreği ters tuttuğunu fark etmemiş bile... Hızla küreği daldırıp çıkarmış ama ne çare? Kürek ters olunca üzerinde bir tanecik altın kalmış o da düştü düşecek... Derken o da düşmüş. Sultan Mahmut:

- Baba, demiş. Senin buradan nasibin yok! Sen şu bizim askerleri takip et. Onlar ne derse yap.

Tıkandı Baba boynunu büküp düşmüş askerlerin önüne... Sultan Mahmut askerlerden birini yanına çağırmış:

- Bu adamı alın Üsküdar'a götürün, demiş. Deyin ki; baba bir taş seç. Seçtiği taşa karışmayın. Sonra deyin ki; seçtiğin taşı fırlat. Tıkandı Baba taşı ne kadar uzağa atarsa; durduğu yerden taşı attığı yere kadar ona verin.

Askerler Tıkandı Baba'yı alıp Üsküdar'a götürmüş. Demişler ki baba bir taş seç. Tıkandı Baba sormuş "Ne için ki?" diye ama askerler bir şey söylememiş. Tıkandı Baba; şu büyüktü, şu küçüktü, şu yamuktu derken kocaman bir kayaya sarılmış demiş ki seçtiğim taş budur. Askerler demiş ki; "Baba sen şimdi bu taşı fırlat, ne kadar uzağa atarsan o kadar yer senindir." Bunu duyan Tıkandı Baba heyecanla seçtiği taşa atılmış, güç bela yerden kaldırmış. Fakat taşın ağırlığını direyemeyip elinde taş olduğu halde sırtüstü devrilmiş. Taş da üzerine düştüğünden oracıkta can vermiş. Askerler gidip durumu Sultan Mahmut'a anlattıklarında, Sultan Mahmut o meşhur sözünü söylemiş:

- Vermeyince Mabut, neylesin Mahmut?

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Bir Aşk Söyleminden Parçalar - Roland Barthes Kitabından

‘Gök Nasıl Maviydi’

Karşılaşma: Karşılaşmada, birbirini izleyen, her seferinde başarılı, kusursuz olan fırça dokunuşlarıyla düşlemimin tablosunu tamamlayan birini bulmuş olmak beni büyüler; şansı hiç mi hiç ters gitmeyen ve elini daha ilk uzatışta arzusunun yap-boz'unu tamamlayan küçük parçanın üstüne koyduran oyuncuya benzerim. Bir başkasıyla (benim "ötekim" olacak bir başkasıyla) sonsuza dek sürdürebileceğim yakınlıkların, suç ortaklıklarının, içli-dışlılıkların gittikçe artan bir biçimde bulunmasıdır bu: tümüyle bu buluşa doğru uzanırım, öyle ki, rastlanan bir varlığa duyulan yoğun merak gerçekte aşka denktir. Karşılaşmanın her anında, ötekinde bir başka kendimi bulurum: ‘Bunu sever misiniz? Aa, ben de! Şunu sevmez misiniz?’ Söylemek bile fazla, gerçek bir aşk sahnesidir bu. Karşılaşma (şimdiden kendinden geçmiş) aşık özneyi doğaüstü bir rastlantının şaşkınlığına uğratır: Aşk Zar Atışı'nın (Dionysios'su) düzenine girer.

Acı: Her acı, her mutsuzluk bir haksızlık, bir kusur düşüncesiyle bozulmuştur, der Nietzsche: "Acı günahsızlığından yoksun bırakılmıştır." Tutku-aşk (aşk söylemi) durmamacasına bu bozulmaya yenik düşer. Ötekinin sanrıları varsa, çıldırmaktan korkuyorsa, benim de sanrılar görmem, benim de çıldırmaktan korkmam gerekir. Oysa, aşkın gücü ne olursa olsun, böyle bir şey olmaz: heyecanlanırım, kaygılanırım, ama aynı zamanda kuru, su geçirmez kalırım. Özdeşleşmem kusurludur: içine kapandığım ölçülülüğün derinliği oranında çırpınırım. Çünkü "içtenlikle" ötekinin mutsuzluğuyla özdeşleştiğim sırada, bu mutsuzlukta okuduğum şey onun bensiz gerçekleştiği ve acı çekiyorsa ve nedeni ben değilsem, acısı beni hiçler.

Mutsuzluğu onu benden uzaklara götürüyor, öyleyse olsa olsa onun arkasından koşarak soluğumu tüketirim, ama onu yakalayabileceğimi, onunla bir noktada birleşebileceğimi ummamalıyım. Öyleyse biraz kopalım, belirli bir uzaklıkta durmasını öğrenelim. Demek ki fazla üstüne basmadan, kendimden geçmeden çekeceğim ötekiyle. Hem çok duygusal hem çok denetimli hem çok aşıkça.

Kesinleme: Aşkın iki kesinlemesi vardır. Önce, aşık ötekine rastladığı zaman, dolaysız kesinleme söz konusudur (ruhbilimsel olarak mutlu bir geleceğin göz kamaştırması, heyecanı, coşkusu, çılgınca yansıtılması: mutlu olma isteği ve itkisiyle yanıp tutuşurum): her şeye evet derim. Sonra uzun bir tünel başlar: ilk evet’imi kuşkular kemirir, aşk değeri durmamacasına değerden düşme tehdidi altındadır: acılı tutkunun, hıncın ve aşınmanın yükselme zamanıdır. Bununla birlikte, bu tünelden çıkabilirim; defteri kapatmadan "aşabilirim" bu durumu; bir ilk kez kesinlediğimi yeniden, çünkü kesinlediğim şey kesinlemedir o zaman, onun olağanlığı d­ğil: farklılığı içinde ilk karşılaşmayı kesinlerim, yinelenmesini değil, dönüşünü isterim. Ötekine (eski ve yeni ötekine) yeniden başlayalım derim.

Bekleyiş: Bekleme kaygısı sürekli şiddetli değildir; durgun anları da olur, beklerim ve bekleyişimin çevresinde her şey gerçekdışılığa düşer.

Uzaktaki: Uzaklık sürer, katlanmam gerekir. Öyleyse onu kullanacağım: zamanın çarpıtılmışlığını gidiş gelişe dönüştürecek, uyum üretecek, dilin perdesini açacağım.

Sunu: Aşk kendini dile getirmekte, anlatmakta güçsüzdür, gene de bağırmak, haykırmak, her yana kendini yazmak ister: "ali' acqua, all'ombra, ai monti, aifıori, all'erbe, aifanti, all'eco, all'aria, ai venti..."* Aşık özne herhangi bir yapıt yaratmaya girişmeye görsün, bir sunu itkisine kapılır hemen.

(İtalyanca, "suya, gölgeye, dağlara, çiçeklere, otlara, kaynak­lara, yankıya, havaya, yellere...")

Bayram: Bayram beklenen şeydir. Vadedilmiş birliktelikten beklediğim, işitilmedik bir haz toplamı, bir şölendir; yalnızca varlığı bile bir doyum doluluğunu muştulayan, bir doyum doluluğu anlamına gelen insanı görünce gülümseyen çocuk gibi sevinirim: benim için "bütün iyiliklerin kaynağı" karşımda olacaktır.

Son Yaprak: "Ağaçların üzerinde, şurada burada, birtakım yapraklar kalmış. Ve ben, sık sık, bunların önünde durup düşüncelere dalıyorum. Uzun uzun bir yaprağa bakıyor, umudumu ona bağlıyorum. Yel onunla oynadığı zaman, bütün varlığımla titriyo­rum. Düşecek oldu mu bütün umudum da yazık ki, onunla birlikte düşüyor."

Yazgıyı sorgulayabilmek için, almaşık bir soru, basit bir değişiklik gösterebilecek bir nesne (Düşecek/Düşmeyecek) ve değişimin kutuplarından birini belirleyen bir dış güç (tanrısallık, rastlantı, yel) gerekir. Hep aynı soruyu sorarım (beni sevecek mi?).

Atopos: Sevdiğim ve beni büyüleyen öteki atopos’tur. Onu sınıflandıramam, çünkü Tek'tir o, mucizemsi bir biçimde gelip arzumun özgüllüğünü karşılamış olan tekil İmge'dir. Gerçeğimin betisidir, hiçbir kalıba sığmaz. Ötekinin ışıldayan özgünlüğü karşısında, kendimi hiçbir zaman atopos bulmam, sınıflandırılmış bulurum daha çok (fazlasıyla bilinen bir dosya gibi). Gene de, bazı bazı, eşitlikten uzak imgelerin oyununu askıya almayı başardığım olur; anlarım ki, özgünlüğün gerçek yeri ne ötekidir, ne de ben; ilişkimizin kendisidir. İlişkinin özgünlüğüdür fethedilmesi gereken.

Ele Geçirmek İstemek: E.G.İ. canlı, kuru: bir yandan, duyum dünyasına karşı çıkmıyorum, içimde arzunun dolaşmasına izin veriyorum; öte yandan onu "gerçeğime" dayıyorum: gerçeğim kesinlikle sevmek: yoksa, çekilirim, dağılırım, "kuşatma"dan vazgeçen bir birlik gibi.

Birlik: Tam birliğin adlandırılması: "tek ve yalın haz"dır, "lekesiz ve katıksız sevinç, düşlerin kusurusuzluğu, bütün umutların varış noktası", "tanrısal görkem"dir, bölünmez dinleniştir.

Düş, ayrıksı (aykırı), karşıt imgeyi söyler. Düşlediğim çiftil biçimde, başka yer'siz bir nokta bulunsun isterim, Aynı'nın sağlamlığıyla dengelenmiş, merkeze oturmuş bir yapının özlemini çekerim: eğer her şey ikide değilse, ne diye savaşmalı o zaman? Çoğulun ardından da koşabilirim pekâlâ. Benim arzuladığım bu her şey'i gerçekleştirmek için (diye dayatır düş) her ikimizin de yersiz olmamız yeter: büyülü bir biçimde birbirimizin yerini alabilmemiz yeter: "birbirimiz için"in egemenliğinin başlaması yeter, sanki sözcüklerini birbirlerinin yerine kullanmanın kesinlikle yasal olduğu, yepyeni ve görülmedik bir dilin sözcükleriymişiz gibi. Bu birlik sınırsız olurdu, yayılımının genişliğiyle değil, değişimlerinin ayrımsızlığıyla sınırsız olurdu.

[aykutiltertr]

Ayrılmam - Mef & Serdar Ortaç ✩ Ritim Karaoke Orijinal Trafik (2/4 Türkç...  ⭐ Video'yu beğenmeyi ve Abone olmayı unutmayın  👍 Zile basarak bildirimleri açabilirsiniz 🔔 ✩ KATIL'dan Ritim Karaoke Ekibine Destek Olun (Join this channel to enjoy privileges.) ✩ ╰┈➤ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqm-5vmc2L6oFZ1vo2Fz3JQ/join ✩ ORİJİNAL VERSİYONU Linkten Dinleyip Canlı Enstrüman Çalıp Söyleyerek Çalışabilirsiniz. ⭐ 🎧 ╰┈➤ https://youtu.be/MbxgOzehAxQ ✩ (MAKE A LIVE INSTRUMENT ACCOMPANIMENT ON RHYTHM IN EVERY TONE) ✩ Aykut ilter Ritim Karaoke Ekibini Sosyal Medya Kanallarından Takip Edebilirsiniz. ✩ İNSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/rhythmkaraoke/ ✩ TİK TOK https://www.tiktok.com/@rhythmkaraoke ✩ DAILYMOTION https://www.dailymotion.com/RhythmKaraoke ⭐ Ayrılmam - Mef & Serdar Ortaç ✩ Ritim Karaoke Orijinal Trafik (2/4 Türkçe Pop) Mef & Serdar Ortaç - Ayrılmam Söz: Serdar Ortaç & Volga Tamöz Müzik: Serdar Ortaç & Volga Tamöz Yönetmen: Buğra Karaçam          " Ayrılmam "                             şarkı sözleri... Gururla harcadım elimde kalanı Çiçekler aldım sarmadı yaramı Acı bile kendine getiriyor adamı Bir dikili ağacım yok İyileri yakacak, kötülere bakacak Daha iyi çıktımı, beni bile satacak Yolun ötesinden yüreğime akacak Aşka inancım yok Acıları tatmam gerek Açığı kapatmam gerek Kopunca senden,en hoş yerinden İki göbek atmam gerek Ne tende duygu, ne de biraz uyku Yürek de lazım çok Nazara inandım, büyüye inancım yok Ayrılmam Hadi kov beni yüreğinden Hiçbir yere terk etmem Seni zar zor buldum ben Aşktan vazgeçmek yok TikTok'ta Skandal Sözleriyle Bilinen MEF Kimdir? TikTok'ta geniş kitlesi olan MEF, canlı yayında skandal sözlere imza attı. İşte olayın detayları... Türkiye'nin popüler TikTok fenomeni MEF, gerçek adıyla Mehmet Efe Fidan, sosyal medya platformlarında geniş bir takipçi kitlesi ile biliniyor. MEF'in sosyal medya hesabından yaptığı canlı yayında skandal sözleri gündem oldu. İşte haberin detayları... MEHMET EFE FİDAN KİMDİR? MEF, özellikle TikTok üzerinde paylaştığı komik ve ilgi çekici içerikleriyle gençler arasında popülerliğini artıran isim haline gelmişti. Kendine özgü tarzı ve yaratıcı videolarıyla tanınan MEF, sosyal medya üzerinde aktif bir şekilde içerik üretmeye devam ediyor. Gençler arasında büyük bir takipçi kitlesi bulunan MEF'in paylaşımları, sıkça gündemde yer alıyor. TikTok MEF, 2000 yılında İstanbul doğmuştur. TikTok'da etkileyici bir performansa sahip olan Mehmet Efe Fidan, popüler şarkıları arasında "Böyle Bitmemeliydik", "Ess Ess" ve "Yoksun Hikayemde" adlı parçalar yer alıyor. 1.4 milyonu aşan takipçisi ile eğlenceli videoları kitlesine ulaştıran isim son günlerde canlı yayında söylediği skandal sözlerle anılıyor. MEF'TEN SKANDAL SÖZLER "TECAVÜZ ETSEM DE YANIMDA DURACAKLAR BELLİ" Sosyal medya fenomeni ve şarkıcı Mehmet Fidan, TikTok platformunda yaptığı bir yayında, skandal ifadelerle gündeme geldi. MEF yayınında, "Bazı kitle var; bir tane itin, köpeğin kitlesi. Onlara karşı konuşmak istemiyorum. Benim kitlem belli. Beni sevenler belli. Yarın öbür gün afedersin bir kıza tecavüz etsem de benim yanımda duracak insanlar belli. Ben de bir insanım. Ben burada sizi eğlendirmek istiyorum." ifadelerine yer verdi. Diskografi Ana madde: Serdar Ortaç diskografisi 1994: Aşk İçin 1996: Yaz Yağmuru 1998: Gecelerin Adamı 1999: Bilsem ki 2002: Okyanus 2004: Çakra 2006: Mesafe 2008: Nefes 2010: Kara Kedi 2012: Ray 2014: Bana Göre Aşk 2015: Çek Elini Kalbimden 2015: Serdar Bizi Diskoya Götür 2016: Gıybet 2017: Cımbız Filmografisi 2024: Kolpaçino 4 4'lük [6] Ödülleri Yıl Ödül veren organizasyon Kategori 1995 1. Kral TV Video Müzik Ödülleri En İyi Çıkış Yapan Sanatçı 1997 Milliyet Ödülleri Yılın En Sevilen Şarkısı (Padişah) 1999 27. Altın Kelebek Ödülleri En İyi Pop Müzik Erkek Solist 2000 6. Kral TV Video Müzik Ödülleri En İyi Pop Müzik Erkek Sanatçı 2003 Radyo ve TV Oscarları En İyi Show Programı (Serdar Ortaç'la Hep Beraber) 2005 11. Kral TV Video Müzik Ödülleri En İyi Pop Müzik En İyi Erkek Sanatçı 3. MÜ-YAP Müzik Ödülleri Yılın En Çok Satan Albümü (Beni Unut/Çakra) 2007 34. Altın Kelebek Ödülleri En İyi Pop Müzik En İyi Erkek Solist 5. MÜ-YAP Müzik Ödülleri Yılın En Çok Satan Albümü (Mesafe) 2009 36. Altın Kelebek Ödülleri En İyi Pop Müzik Erkek Solist 15. Kral TV Video Müzik Ödülleri Yılın Pop Müzik Sanatçısı Dijital Satış Diamond Ödülü (Nefes) 2011 18. Kral Müzik Ödülleri Kral TV & Kral FM Özel Ödülü (Radyolarda En Çok Çalınan Sanatçı) Balkanika TV Ödülleri Yılın En İyi Erkek Sanatçısı Ödülü Yılın Projesi Ödülü 2017 4. Altın Palmiye Ödülleri Yılın Erkek Sanatçısı

[laveynn]

1964’de shel silverstein tarafından yazılmış bir masal var, bu gece onu anlatacağım, uykusuza masallar: the giving tree.

bir zamanlar bir ağaç varmış

ve küçük bir çocuğu çok sevmiş.

her gün o çocuk gelir ve

onun yapraklarından toplarmış

ve onlardan taçlar yaparmış.

onun gövdesine tırmanır,

ve dallarında sallanır,

ve elmalarından yermiş.

beraber saklambaç oynarlar, çocuk yorulduğunda,

onun gölgesinde uyurmuş.

ve ağaç çocuğu çok sevmiş, mutluymuş.

ama zaman geçmiş ve çocuk büyümüş.

ağaç genelde yalnızmış.

çok.

bir gün çocuk ağacı görmeye gelmiş: “gel gövdeme tırman ve dallarımda sallan. elmalarımdan ye ve mutlu ol” demiş.

ama çocuk “tırmanmak ve oynamak için çok büyüğüm” diye karşılık vermiş.

“bir şeyler almak ve eğlenmek istiyorum. “üzgünüm,” demiş ağaç “ama hiç param yok.”“sadece yapraklarım ve elmalarım var.

elmalarımı al, onları şehirde sat. paran olacak ve mutlu olacaksın.”

çocuk tırmanmış ağaca ve toplamış elmalarını.

ve ağaç mutluymuş.

ama çocuk uzun süre gelmemiş, ağaç mutsuzmuş.

bir gün çocuk geri gelmiş, ağaç mutluluktan titremiş. “gel gövdeme tırman ve dallarımda sallan ve elmalarımdan ye mutlu ol” demiş.

“ağaçlara tırmanmak için çok meşgulum” demiş çocuk:

“beni sıcak tutması için bir eve ihtiyacım var.” eşim ve çocuklarım olsun istiyorum, yani bir eve ihtiyacım var.

bana bir ev verebilir misin?”

“benim evim yok” demiş ağaç.

orman benim evimdir, ama sen benim dallarımı kesebilir, bir ev yapabilirsin. ve mutlu olursun.”

ve çocuk dallarını kesmiş ve evini inşa etmek için götürmüş. ve ağaç mutluymuş. ama geri geldiğinde,

zar zor konuşuyormuş.

“gel, çocuk” diye fısıldamış “gel ve oyna.”

“ben oynamak için çok mutsuz ve yaşlıyım” demiş çocuk.

“beni uzaklara götürecek bir tekne istiyorum. bana bir tekne verebilirmisin?” “gövdemi kes ve bir tekne yap,” demiş ağaç.

ve ondan bir tekne yapmış ve denize açılmış.

ve ağaç yine mutluymuş ama o kadar da değil.

ve çok uzun zaman sonra

çocuk geri gelmiş.

“üzgünüm, çocuk,” demiş ağaç “ama sana verecek

bir şeyim kalmadı –

elmam yok.”

“benim dişlerim elmalar için çok zayıf artık” demiş çocuk. artık dallarım yok,” demiş ağaç.

“onların üstünde sallanamazsın” “dallarda sallanmak için çok yaşlıyım,” demiş çocuk.

“gövdem yok,” demiş ağaç.

“tırmanmaya yorgunum” demiş çocuk.

“üzgünüm,” diye gülümsemiş ağaç.

“keşke sana verebileceğim bir şeyim olsaydı. ama hiçbir şeyim kalmadı. sadece eski bir kütüğüm.”

“artık bir şeye ihtiyacım yok,” demiş çocuk.

“sadece dinlenecek bir yere ihtiyacım var.”

“peki” demiş ağaç,

gel, otur, dinlen.”

ve ağaç, mutluymuş.

böyle bitmiş ağaçla çocuğun masalı. sadece oturmak isteyen birer yaşlı olmadan, gövdesi kesik bir ağaç gibi olmayı öğrenelim diye.

[dilperisanimmmm]

Bu arada ne iğrenç pislik leş bok kokan insan var yaa! Otobüsteki saçma salak kokulardan bağırmamak için kendimi çok çok zor tutuyorum. Sabahın köründe fırçalamayı bırak ağzını çalkalamamış tirrekler bilmem ne gibi hayvan desem hayvan da yapmıyor neysee oflayıp pofluyor bok kokan nefesleriyle. Allahimmmmm boktan beter tarifi cidden imkansız ter kokularıyla feleğim şaşıyor yemin ederim yav. Burnumun direği kırılıyor, boğazıma kusmuk geliyor tam kusacam gidiyor sonra bi daha geliyor.. yol boyuncaaaa! Bunlara hiç mi kimse demiyor git bi başını yıka ya! Anneleri de mi demiyor, evdeki kimseler? Hayır cidden kusuyorum. Boktan öte rezalet kokulardan bahsediyorum. Hadi erkekleri boş verdim. Okula başladığım ilk zamanlardan beri erkeklerin yanından geçerken nefesimi tutuyorum aramıza bir iki metre girene kadar nefes almiyorum. Yani onlara tüm dünya alem alışmış. Erkek işte hani erkek. Beklenir, onlara bir şey olmaz alışmışız. Ama ya kızlar?????? Salak misiniz kızlar??? Gidin günde yedi kez baya yapın bir şey yapın ne bu haliniz?? Çok kötü kokuyorsunuz.. çok çok çooookkk öyle böyle değil haaa çoookkkkk!! En son diyecem yemin ederim git banyo yap. Ya mal mısınız ya banyo yapmaktan mis gibi gzuel kokmaktan gzuel ne var neee? Gidin banyo yapın. Hamama Gidin önce o ölü derilerinizi şey edin ay of midem bulandı. Başınızı yıkayın yaaa. Hayır zor bir şey değil zahmetli değil her kişinin yapabileceği normal yapılabilecek daha da önemlisi yapılması gerekn bir şey ya. Yeter ya yeter. Bunlar yüzünden sakıza başladım ya. Ben ya ben sakız çiğniyorum ya. Bari çilek karpuz kokusu ağır bassın burnuma yazık ya. Hatta büyük sevaplar işliyorum bütün otobüse koku yayıyorum. Yerim cenneta fîrdews. Duş alın ama sık sık duş alın insanlar!! sık sık birsürü birsürü. Özellikle kızlar!!! Sıkın saçlarınıza mis gibi bir şeyler rüzgar eserken siz yuruken saçlarınız bok değil çiçek koksun ya. Gercekten dalga geçtiğim için değil ama gerçekten çok rahatsız oluyorum. Bu bahsettiğim kişisel bakım da değil ya yapmanız gereken. Tırnaklarınızı uzatiyorsunuz uzatiyorsunuz baaari temiz tutun sık sık elinizi yıkayın ama ya içinde siyah siyah mikroplar var. Saçlarınız güneşle karşı karşıya gelse yağ kızarma sesi çıkacak, saçlarınız kepekten tozdan pislikten bir hâl almış ama yaaa. Gercekten ayıp. Banyo yapın banyo. Bir de liseye geçer geçmez boka bürünen bu ergen şerefsiz itleri de vuracam ha en son. Kulaklıklarım takıyorlar sanırsın dünyanın en dertli insanı anası babası ölmüş evi yıkılmış borca girmiş vatanını işgal etmişler evsiz yurtsuz sewî öksüz yetim kalmış yaaa nefret ediyorum sizden 2003ten sonrakiler nefffret mal mal giyiniyorlar mal hareketler yapıyorlar. Cidden bir gün vurucam ha. Bugün bi tane kızın arkadan saçlarını tutup cama vura vura canına alma isteği vardı bende. Ayaktadır, bu tutma yerini o demirleri tutmuş ama sadece tutmuş. Otobüs duruyor düşecek gibi oluyor hareket ediyor düşecek gibi oluyor.. ey mal ergen hayvan bênamûs kejmer gerizekali salak o demiri tutmuşsun ne diye? Hıı? Ne diye ne diye? Üstüme uzanmış resmen û telefona bakıyor?!?!!! GERİZEKALI YAAA sinirden gercekten carpacaktim gercekten. Kaç kez ağzım açıldı bağırmak ixin ama nasıl olduysa sustum. Yani gercejten ilahi bir gün falan ahshhs bagirmamai engelledi yoksa gercekten o sinirimle hayatta susmazdım. Zaten sabahın köründe kalkıyorum durağa kadar yürüyorum hayatta en nefret ettiğim yere doğru gidecem gunde 10 saatimi heba edecem.. ZATEN ÇOK SİNRİLİYİM ve hep yorgunum ve zaten gerizekali otobüs şoförleri sürmeyi bilmiyor ve ve zar zor kendimi tutuyorum BIR DE SENI MI TASIYACAM. hayir bir de böyle hix bir şey yokmuş gibi kafasını bile kaldiemadaaaannn telefona bakıyor yaaaa. Ey şerreffsiizz bi kere otobüstesin o telefonu cebine sok mall hayvann! Bütün gününü bok gibi hix bir şey yapmayarak geçiriyorsun bari 10-20 dakika telefona bakma o gözler biraz dinlensin ya. Gerizekli!! Bir de dertli dertli müzik dinlemeleri yok mu.. gerizekali gerizekali gerizekalii. Alacam ayağımın altına geberene kadar yumruk atacam var ya gerizekali ergen malllllllar of

[travis-enthusiast]

I AM SCREAMING.... EVERYTIME I DRAW MY OC SHE LOOKS DIFFERENT..... I CANT FIGURE OUT A SOLID LOOK FOR HER GRRRRRR ITS SO HARD, SHES LITERALLY TRAVIS'S OLDER SISTER SO I ALREADY HAVE SOMETHING TO GO BASED OFF OF HELP (ive drawn her a crap ton more than this but these are just drawings on my insta and in my gallery but these r newest to oldest) im going to pull my hair out. she (and travis) is blasian (i hc her dad (terry) asain and her mom black) the top pictures are her in pdh and the bottom two are her in mcd... if i can get either design ill be set!!!!!!!!!! i feel like i need to explain her lore so it will be easier to know what she looks like looks wise but if u have down time and dont know what to draw pls try drawing her 🙏🙏🙏

[level999comtr]

Etkin olmayan Google Hesabınızın silinebileceğinden mi endişeleniyorsunuz? Şimdi giriş yap

Etkin olmayan Google Hesabınızın silinebileceğinden mi endişeleniyorsunuz? Şimdi giriş yap ••• ••• Kaynakça: https://level999.com.tr/blog/2023/12/01/etkin-olmayan-google-hesabinizin-silinebileceginden-mi-endiseleniyorsunuz-simdi-giris-yap/ ••• Google'ın mezarlığı meşhurdur, ancak 2023'ün son ayı farklı bir hasat tarzının başlangıcı oldu. Şimdilik (öhöm), şirketin hizmetleri güvenli. Bunun yerine, etkin olmayan kişisel hesaplar sunuculardan siliniyor. Bu yılın başlarında bildirildiği gibi, hareketsiz Google hesapları ve bunların Gmail, Drive, YouTube ve Fotoğraflar içerikleri 1 Aralık'ta baltalanmaya başlıyor. Dolayısıyla, son iki yıl içinde herhangi bir Google hizmetini kullanmadıysanız hesabınız kurbana düşebilir Google'ın yeni hareketsizlik politikasına. Politika, işiniz, okulunuz veya başka bir kuruluş aracılığıyla oluşturulan hesaplar için geçerli değildir. Devam eden bir aboneliğiniz varsa, kitap gibi dijital ürünler satın aldıysanız veya ilişkili bir hediye kartı bakiyeniz varsa, kişisel hesaplar için de çeşitli istisnalar geçerlidir. Etkin olmayan hesapların tümü hemen nükleer saldırıya uğramaz. Bunun yerine, ilk silinenler, Google'ın Mayıs ayındaki plan duyurusunda belirtildiği gibi, oluşturulan ve daha sonra bir daha asla kullanılmayanlardır. Etkilenen tüm hesapların, silme işlemlerinin 1 Aralık başlangıç ​​tarihine kadar hem hesaba hem de kurtarma e-posta adresine (uygun olduğu şekilde) e-posta bildirimleri almış olması gerekir; ancak hesabı hiç kullanmadıysanız bunları görmemiş olabilirsiniz. Tırpandan kaçınmak için, hesabınızda oturum açabilir veya bilgisayarınız veya telefonunuz gibi bir cihaz aracılığıyla zaten oturum açtıysanız bir hizmeti kullanabilirsiniz. Bir YouTube videosu izlemek, Google Arama'yı kullanmak veya bir e-postayı okumak gibi küçük davranışlar, zamanlayıcıyı sıfırlamak için yeterlidir. Etkilenen hesapların çoğu zayıf veya güvenliği ihlal edilmiş şifrelerle zar zor korunduğundan Google, güvenlik nedeniyle kullanılmayan hesapları temizlediğini söylüyor. Bu tür hesaplarda genellikle iki faktörlü kimlik doğrulama da etkin değildir. Bilgisayar korsanları, kimlik hırsızlığı yapmak veya spam göndermek için ihlal edilmiş bir hesabı kullanabilir. Dolayısıyla, kendinizi eski bir Google hesabını yeniden canlandırırken bulursanız, 2FA'yı etkinleştirmenin yanı sıra şifrenizi güçlendirmeyi (ve şifre yöneticinize eklemeyi) düşünmenin tam zamanıdır. Öte yandan, bir hesapla işiniz gerçekten bittiğinde, hesabın güvenle silinmesine izin verebilirsiniz. Hesap adları geri dönüştürülmeyecek ve başka hiç kimse bunları kullanamayacaktır. Kaynak: pcworld

[operasyon]

Epeydir politikaya değinmedim.

Artık sosyal medyada bi Kılıçdar antipatisi nihayet başlamış. Ama bu insanların çoğu daha son seçimde bile gidip chp'ye oy verdiler. Kılıçdarın gerçek yüzünü ancak gördüler!

Benim eleştirilerim kaç yıllık?

Eminim ilk yazdığımda insanlar garipsemiştir bile. Neden iktidar duruken muhalefete böyle bir eleştiri?

Çünkü en sonunda görüldüğü gibi sorun iktidarda değildi muhalefetteydi. Hala da öyle.

Kılıçdar komedi programlarına rakip. Aklımızla alay eden sadece iktidar değil.

Mesela seçimden sonra ilk zam dalgası oldu Kılıçdar dedi ki " Hadi şimdi yapın seçimi de yine kazanın görelim"

Yani bir sürü zam olmuş. Vatandaş bunu beklemiyormuş. Akp biten seçimin hemen peşinden bir seçim daha yapsa Kılıçdar kazanacakmış.

Bu nasıl bir akıl yürütme?

Bunu beş yaşında çocuk söyler mi?

İktidar zar zor kazandığı bir seçimin hemen peşinden gelin bi seçim daha yapalım der mi? Milyonda bir ihtimal var mı? Yok.

Bunu söylerken herif iktidarla dalga geçmiyor ki bizle geçiyor. Vatandaşla dalga geçiyor.

Bir kaç gün önce seçimde istemiyor bu sefer. "İktidarı bize bırakın ortadoğuya barışı biz getiririz" diyor.

Buna diyecekler ki " Gel kardeş biz bu koltukların bu makamların tümünü sana bırakıyoruz, beceremedik. Gel sen yap"

Bu sözler sadece dalga geçmek de değil. Şu sözler de zerre kadar gerçekçilik zerre kadar ciddiyet var mı?

İnsan bu kadar gayrı ciddi, gerçekten bu kadar uzak birine nasıl güvenebilir?

Velevki bir mucize olsun. "Tamam kardeş gel iktidarı sana bırakıyoruz" deseler ne karşılık verecek?

Yüzde bin eminim şuna benzer bir şeyler söyler " yok biz öyle onursuz biçimde millet iradesini sizden teslim almayız. Demokrasinin gereği oalrak iktidar da sizin olmanız gerek. Vatandaş bu görevi size verdi. Biz ancak bir sonraki seçimde kazanırsak bileğimizin hakkıyla bu görevi alabiliriz."

O da biliyor. Gideceğini bildiğinden gitmeden moral bozucu son dalgalarımı geçiyim. Hepsi benim ne kadar ciddiyetten uzak biri olduğumu, onlarla dalga geçtiğimi iyice anlasınlar diye uğraşıyor.

----

Chp de yakın gelecekte umut yok. Özgür özeli kılıçdardan farklı görmüyorum.

Aklımdan genel başkan adayı olarak geçirdiğim adamlar da ayrı komedi.

Birini takip ediyorum eski savcı. Sol kanat filan demiş kendine. Adam daha tivit atamıyor. Atıyor da zahmet edip atmıyor. Heee... ana akım medyayı sana verecekler gel fikirlerini her gün büyük tv kanallarında açıkla diyecekler. Gazeteler her gün onu yazacak sanki. Elindeki her araçla düşüncelerini bile anlatamıyorsan en başta umutsuz vakasın.

Daha tivitırı bile etkin biçimde kullanamıyorsa, Atatürk kalkıp gelse faydasız.

Emekli askeri takip ediyorum. Adam yaşına göre çok çalışkan gerçekten. Her gün halka gerçekleri anlatmaktan bıkmıyor. Vizyonu yok. Chp genel başkanlığını sanki Atatürk'ten alacak. Hayaline bile sığdıramıyor! Tutuyor milletvekili aday adaylığına soyunuyor. Tabii milletvekili aday adayı bile olamadı. Seçilemeyeceği bir yere bile koymadılar, jest olsun diye adının aday adayı olarak bile yazmadılar.

Kısaca: garp cephesinde yeni bir şey yok, chp de umut yok.

Chp de umut olmayışı belkide iyi bişeydir.

[ksumer]

-Kumar

Hissizlik içindeki o tek his -korkudan sonra, her şey sona erip gözlerimi sanki ilk defa hayata açmış gibi bakabilmiştim. Yine yapabilirdim. Sadece ufak bir his lazımdı, bu seferki neydi?

İçten içe sevgi olmasını temenni ettiğimi biliyordum. Fakat zordu, eskiden aşina olduğun bütün o duygulara, tüm o güzel hislere "yok"tan adım atmak benim için kumardan farklı değildi. İnsan hislerle kumar oynayamaz, evet ama ben zar atmak istiyordum. Bunu çok geç fark edecektim.

Genellikle hep böyle olurdu ya zaten, ben tam hislerimin farkına vardığımda önümde büyük bir uçurumla karşılaşırdım. Kendim sebep olduğum bu köprülere adım dahi atamazdım, korkudan mı? Gurur? Hayır, bunun adı çekinmekti bana göre.

Dışarıdan sert, gururlu, mesafeli görünen ben, o mesafeyi yüzümden sildiğimde artık çok geç olurdu. Gülerdim, çoğu zaman kendime.

Baktığım yerden, aynı yerden bakamadılar hiçbir zaman. Bu kadar zor mu? Kendime sorardım, bu kadar mı zor Kübra? Adım atmak, ilk gülen olmak, ilk korkanın aksine, cesur mu değildim? Sanırım değilim, her konuda cesur olan ben, konu sevmeye gelince evet cesur değilim. Bir ödlek gibi, bir çocuk gibi, kaçtıkça kaçıyorum uzanan bir elden. Sevgiden korkmak..

Daha sonrasında göz ucuyla, yine bir çocuk gibi, kaçamak bir bakış atardım arkama. Çok kat etmediğim o mesafe derin ormanlar boyu engin olurdu. Meşakkatli.

Yolu yürümeyi, ağaçların gölgesinde dinlene dinlene, çalılardan hırpalanarak göze alırdım bu sefer de. Meşakkat mi, ben varım. İşte zar atmaya olan hevesim böyle başlamıştı. Ömrümde çok nadir atacağım o zarlar, zeminde yuvarlanır dururken biri hep dışarıya kaçardı en sonunda. Hadi bir daha, bir daha Kübra, olacak, bu sefer olacak. Gelmesini umut ettiğim altı altı hep es geçiyordu beni. Eğer oyuna en başından katılmış olsaydım, gelir miydi?

Bakışlarını kaçırırsan kaybedersin. Kaybetmek istemiyorum. Ama her seferinde kaybediyordum. Yüzmeyi bilmiyorsan eninde sonunda boğulursun, en azından bildiğin, aşina olduğun bir denizde boğulmak sanırım daha güzel geliyordu. Ardıma bakmam bundandı, tanıdık o bir çift gözü aramam bundandı. Bulduğumda onu, bana bakışlarını fark ettiğimde ise, evet, biliyorsunuz.. başımı çevirirdim. O göz bu kadar basit mi diye düşünürken, ben kendime bu kadar zor mu diye kızardım. Ve hevesle salladığım o zarlar, biraz bana dargın, bir bir gelirdi. Sana müstahak Kübra dercesine hem de.

Bir gün o oyunu kazanacağımı bilsem de kendime kızıyorum kimi zaman. Kumara dökme şu işi diyorum, zar atma daha fazla. Oyunu kabul et ve yapman gerekeni yap, bak, utanmadan bak onlara. Gözlerini kaçırmadan dikkatle bak sana bakan göze. Belki çok nadir bir hisse rastlayacaksın derinlerinde, korktuğun o sevgiyi bulacaksın belki de. Ne zaman cesur olacaksın?

Zor olmaması gereken hisler bende hala dikenli bir tel örgüyken, kanayan ellerimle dört bir yanımı saran bu sarmaşıklardan kurtulmaya çabalamam bile yaşadığımın göstergesi. Dönüp dolaşıp kendime dışarıdan bakıyorum ve ne kadar zorsun diyorum her seferinde. Sen bir oyunda değilsin aslında, sen neye nasıl bakıyorsan onun içindesin. Camdan bir fanus değilsin, kırılmazsın. Ya kırılırsam?

Kumar oynamayı seven birisi için ne tezatlık değil mi?

Kırılmaya korkmak.. Her defasında içten içe kırılmamayı umarken hem de. Bunu kendime ben yapmadım, buna maruz bırakıldım. Asıl söylenmesi gereken buydu en başından beri belki de. Farkındayım, her şeyin.

Geçmiş ilişkilerime bakınca bugünden, bir tek pişmanlığım oldu her zaman o anlardan. İçimden geldiği gibi davranamadım, içimden geldiği gibi uzun uzun hiç bakamadım, içimden geçenleri ona hiç söyleyemedim, çünkü çok yeniydim bu oyunda. Onunla gülemedim, onun elini bile tutamadım utancımdan, bunlar herkes için çok normalken ben kendimi kısıtladım hep. Sebebini hiç anlayamadı, anlamasını bekleyemezdim de zaten. Kurallarını bilmediğin oyuna devam edemezsin.

Korkumun izleri daha sonrasındaki her anımda benimle olacaktı. Görmüştüm. Bunun için belki de hep kaçtım insanlardan, o güzel duygulardan. Bir kumar olarak görmem, böylesine basit bir oyunken hem de, bu yüzden.

Bazı zamanlar da, kumar olarak gören birini hayal ederim. Benden bir tane daha. Ama daha cesur, daha yürekli. Zarı bir bir geldiğinde bile eline tekrar alıp altı altıyı düşünerek oyuna devam edebilen. Benim aksime bana zarı alıp uzatabilecek, bu oyunda her sayı sana mübah diyebilecek.

Şaşırırdım. Geriye dönüp baktığımda köprünün diğer ucunda değil de tam ardımda olmasını istediğim o adam, başımı çevirdiğimde benimle hala göz gözeyse belki de işte o zaman tam anlamıyla yüzümü dönerdim ona, kim bilir? Bu şekilde bakamaz mıyım?

Bir gün, elime zarları eliyle koyacak o kişiye baktığımda, onun olduğunu anlayacağım.

Belki de çoktan anlamışımdır, ama bu bir kumar, haliyle gözüne hala tam anlamıyla değmemem oyunun bir kuralıdır belki de, olamaz mı?

Bunu sadece gerçek kumarbazlar anlar.

Beni anladığını biliyorum.

[klavyemkavalyemolsa]

1443 Ramazan hatırası. Benim için hem dolu dolu hem de hiç anlayamadan geçen birkaç hafta sonunda yanıma kar kalan fotoğraflara bakınca mutlu olmaktı. Stajım bitti, ertesi gün Ramazan başladı. Ben de tam hatırlayamamakla birlikte galiba üçüncü gününde İstanbul’daydım. Bir süre Tuğba’da kaldım, gündüzleri o okula ben kütüphaneye akşamları paşa gönlümüz o gün hangi camiide teravih kılmak istiyorsa o camiiye gittik. Hele ezanın okunmasına beş dakika kala nerede ne yiyeceğimize karar verme şeklinde zuhur eden, bizi bazen Süleymaniye’nin bahçesine bazen ıslak hamburgerciye götüren spontaneliğimiz. Hayatım boyunca “uyumlu bir arkadaş” eksikliği yaşadığımı düşünürdüm. Benim arkadaşlıktan beklentimle ilgili de olabilir. Bu süreçte Tuğba’nın o eksikliği tamamlayabildiğini gördüm, liseden beri arkadaşız esasen ama derler ya bir insanı tanımak istiyorsan yolculuk et, alışveriş yap vesair, birlikte birkaç gün geçiri de buraya ekleyebiliriz, hoş bir farkındalıktı. Sonra evimizde sülale iftarı olacağı için Bursa’ya döndüm. Baba tarafı hakkında ne düşünürsünüz bilmem ama ben bizim “aile” olabildiğimizi düşünüyorum. Tabii ki zamanında büyüklerin birbirlerine anlayışlı davranmaları ve çocuklarına da bunu aşılaması büyük bir etken. Yoksa 40 kişinin iftar+ çay faslı bulaşıklarını yıkamak akıl karı olmazdı. Tatlı ve huzurlu bir yorgunluk, neticede sıla-i rahimdir. Abimler de iftar için bize geldiklerinden hazır fırsat yakalanmışken Gökçe’yi biraz daha görelim diyerek onlarla beraber tekrar İstanbul’a bu sefer ailecek geçtik. Gökçe büyüdükçe dünyanın en güzel ve çılgın şeyi olmaya başladı, bazenleri sevgim taşacak gibi oluyor. Babamın İstanbul’a gelmekteki bir diğer amacı olan Ayasofya teravihi ve yine her akşam başka camide teravih ritüelimiz devam etti. Ama içimde Yıldız Hamidiye teravihi kaldı. Tuğba’yla gidecektik, teknik aksaklıklar sebebiyle tatlı yemeğe karar vermemiz akabinde hayal oldu... Babamlar Bursa’ya dönerken birkaç gün daha kalıp geçmiş bir senenin acısını çıkarmak ve arkadaşlarımı görmek adına izin istedim. Kızlarla iftarımız ardından Eliflere geçtim. Elif’in durumundan bahsetmiştim burada. Hem onun için hem biraz vakit geçirelim diye iki gün diye gittiğim evde dört gün kaldım, daha da kalırdım. Arada Zeynep’in eczanesini ziyaret ettim. Zeynep, annemin arkadaşının kızı olmakla tanışıklığımızın çocukluğumuza dayanması daha sonra aynı lisede okuduğumuz, lisansta beş yıllık oda arkadaşlığı yaptığımız ve bu yıllarda ders çalışırken bana eczacılığın temel bilgilerini vermiş olan arkadaşımdır. Şimdi bir eczanesi var. Bir ana  gururu ve duygusallığıyla eczanesine gidip ilaç yerleştirdim. Elif tam bir Avcılar Merkez Ulu Camii aşığı olduğu için onunlayken teravihlerimiz mevzubahis camiide gerçekleşti. Güzel camii yapmışlar yalnız şaşırtıcı olan o kadar büyük bir caminin, Avcılar gibi bir semtte, olağan bir Ramazan gününde ağzına kadar dolması ve bizim zar zor yer bulmamızdı. İlginçti. Parayla imanın kimde olacağı belli olmaz mıydı, neydi o? Teravih akabindeki dondurma ritüelimiz de sahil yürüyüşünün ardından meşhurrr Roma dondurmacısında gerçekleşti. Kavunlu dondurma, is my guilty pleasuredır ya! Kavunlusu güzel olan bir yerin her şeyi güzel oluyor, tespittir bu. Elif’le geçen günlerin ardından Gökçe’ye doyamamanın verdiği özlemle tekrar abimlere geçip birkaç gün daha orada kalıp kendisiyle çıldırdıktan sonra artık eve döndüm. Bu Ramazan benim için oruçlu olduğumun bilincinde ama gün içinde “oruçlu” olduğumu unutarak geçti. Ailem, arkadaşlarım, akrabalarımız ve İstanbul’la geçen 1443 Ramazanı bana iyi geldi, yaralarımı sardı. Rabbim hakkıyla eda edeceğimiz nice Ramazanlara ulaştırsın. Gelişine sevinmeyi, gidişine üzülmeyi şu dünyayla çevrelenmiş yüreğimizden hiç almasın.

[valkblue]

Lost and Found - Episode 3

"Tales of Clan Mudhorn" series

Word Count: 16k Pairing: None Rating: General Summary: POV Din + OC — The Crest needs repairs after the dogfight over Nevarro. And an emergency landing on an off-the-road planet brings back memories... and enemies. Warnings: street violence, space violence, the Child is a powerful being who 'does the magic hands' 👋 , killings and severe wounds (with a bit of blood at some point), Star Wars cursing. And I'm still not done with my nerdy yappings about spaceships and dogfights!!! A/N: This one is a bit longer and wild than the two previous ones because there is a new POV added in the mix, and I really hope you'll like it!! Also, because of the same reasons, the next chapters are likely to be around that big as well. 😳 (The painting I used for the banner is an old piece you can find here!)

— Childhood

Some travels in hyperspace happened to be longer than others at times, and in general, Din used to spend that time on all sorts of things, often focused around his needs and, now, the child’s as well.

And this time, after just under two hours of sleep interrupted by the squawks of the child, woken up before him in the bunk, he had taken care of fixing and reassembling his thigh plate to the rest of his armor.

The upkeep of his armor and the maintenance of its integrity were part of his everyday life, and had been part of his teaching and his training with his covert’s armorer, back when he was a child himself; knowing how to establish a diagnosis and fix the electronics, washing, reshaping and welding the beskar, taking care of the different parts of his flightsuits…

And this time again, just like the last time with Kuiil on Arvala-7, he had fixed his armor. This thigh plate, at least. He had finished to clean the carbon scoring stuck in the ridges before finally replacing it on its support, on his flightsuit. Din felt strangely better now that this piece was back in place, like a bone popped back into its socket. Din had got enough of those to make the comparison…

Back in the cockpit with the child afterwards, he then had the unpleasant surprise to notice that his port reactor had continued to deteriorate, a fuel leak had been detected, and had put quite a few other gauges in the red now. Din would have wanted to get a bit farther before stopping, but he didn’t have a choice anymore.

On his navicomputer, the estimated closest sector was somewhat satisfying as of its planets and their activity. One of them, Zar-Oda, wasn’t a very big planet but several cities had been built there, including one with a fairly influential starport where Din could be sure to count on some refuel and repairs. And that was all he needed for now.

His destination selected and disengaging the autopilot, he prepared the ship to exit hyperspace. On the passenger seat, the child looked calm, deep in what sounded like a thoughtful chitchat with his mythosaur pendant, held in his fingers. On the navicomputer, Din could see that they were getting close to the exit and, following the advised course, he pulled the lever to him; the stars streaked the black void of space and everything seemed to come to a standstill for brief moment. Din flipped several switched up on his dashboard, pressed a button to redirect the power and spare the port reactor before tilting the controls to glide on starboard and engage the ship on Zar-Oda’s course.

On the screen where the data were still displayed, Din could notice that it was daylight on the side where the starport was located, and it didn’t take long for the planet to appear through the cockpit’s viewport, in lines and shades of green and blue, covered in thin white ribbons under the light of a single sun. Din opened the comms and sent a request ping to the spaceport’s tower. The answer didn’t take long to come.

"This is Barjuun Tower. We are tracking you. Head for bay two-six. Over."

"Copy that. Locked in for two-six."

Din switched the comms off and began his descent towards the lush surface or Zar-Oda.

***

Barjuun’s spaceport was a vast duracrete structure set apart from the city where many ships of all sizes and kinds had been docked, some even already tended to by teams of mechanics. Din landed the Crest in the place he had been assigned to and the port reactor sputtered in an unpleasant creaking as it stopped.

Going down in the hold with the child in the crook of an arm, Din prepared them both to go out; he secured his jetpack on his back again and put the child in the satchel before opening the port sideramp, with the wall’s command.

The ramp lowered slowly, allowing the busy buzzing of the spaceport to leak in the almost silent Crest. The ramp reached the floor as Din was already walking on it. There, a mechanic was already busy looking at the port reactor with a scanner, and tapped on the hull with an hydrospanner — PANG BANG!

"That wasn't a pretty song I heard when you put her to sleep," the mechanic told him, without taking his eyes off the ship.

Looking up to the reactor with a frown of displeasure, he added:

"Far from encouragin', methinks…"

"How much for repairs and a refuel?"

For the first time, the mechanic’s eyes locked on Din and he started back, more surprised than frightened. He finally shrugged.

"I have to make my diagnosis first but, eerr…"

He scanned the hull’s surface again, on a spot where a cannon's laser impact had left a trace.

"Yep, fuel leak. No wonder…"

He holstered his scanner in his utility belt like a blaster and turned back to Din.

"I’d say, you’ll be good for, err…"

BRAANG! BRAANG! BRAANG!

An alarm started to blare somewhere in the glassed cabin which served as an office. The mechanic muttered a curse and sidestepped to shoot a furious glance behind Din, towards the cabin.

"Hey, kill it, will ya?!"

A few more strident notes and the alarm got silenced.

"Need to hear myself think, alright?!" the mechanic grumbled to himself. "What was I—Oh, yeah! She's an old bird but, errr… You're good for two thousand. My droids will take care of the fuel leak first…"

Din winced and took advantage of his trailing off to ask:

"And how much minus the droids?"

Once more, the mechanic looked surprised.

"It ain't so much the droid maintenance that'll cost you here," he countered. "More like the time I—"

Again, the alarm rang and the mechanic grimaced, seething. He didn’t have to express any of his rage that the alarm was muted again, almost right away.

"It's more about the time it'll take me to get everythin' fixed. And it's gonna be a lot already. Even with droids."

He turned his attention back to the Crest, walking up to the tail. He shook his head, bemoaning on a hushed tone:

"Look at that…"

Then, he faced Din again, who had stayed in place, only following him with his eyes.

"Might even cost you more, if I bench my droids, actually."

Din didn’t want to trust droids, and certainly not with the repairs of his ship. Not all droids had been rewired by Kuiil’s more than capable and caring hands. But he couldn't be too picky at this point either.

"Fine."

He searched in the pockets of his own utility belt and pulled out all the credits he had left. Not even quite a thousand and a half. Din took a slow breath, holding it in.

"That’s all I have."

And that wasn’t even a lie; he was at the end of what he had left from his last bounty. The mechanic handed out his hand to receive what Din was giving him, weighting the coins in his gloved hand while glancing at his armor, from head to toe, with a doubtful wince.

"Mmwell," he muttered. "Ain't gonna polish it for that price, that's for sure!"

"I just need it operational and flying."

"I'll do what I can, I pride myself in my work, but errr, got somewhere to be? 'Cause it's gonna take some time either way."

And before Din could answer, he added:

"I have quite the queue today, so I hope you got some good business to do here, 'cause I ain't gonna jump on yours right away."

That wasn't to please Din but, quite frankly, he expected as much. Worst case, it would leave him time to find something to do to earn a few creds before leaving.

"Do as fast as you can."

The alarm roared again.

"Yeah, yeah, sure," the mechanic muttered, annoyed, glowering at the cabin. "Hey, what did I tell ya 'bout this kriffin' horn, hu?!"

And he strode towards it, shaking his hydrospanner.

"Let's go stretch our legs, kid," Din sighed, putting his hand on the flap of the satchel in which the kid was still hidden. "Looks like we have a little free time on our hands."

The alarm had still not been turned off when he left the hangar.

Maybe because of its size, the spaceport was located at a good distance from the city of Barjuun but a system of landspeeder transport was available right at its gates. So Din wouldn’t have to walk for too long, or even use his jetpack to reach the city.

The driver who had agreed to give him a lift for the few coins he still had left had been friendly, talkative even, for the few minutes it took to reach the town. He had started by telling him about the beautiful morning they were having today and that, should he have the time, he definitely should go and see the flying fishes at the foot of the Walso Waterfalls, that it was worth the trip!

But Din’s interests were more of the professional kind than the touristic one, and that’s what he had told the driver, asking for some information about job opportunities in town, and the presence of a Bounty Hunters Guild. Still cheerful, the driver couldn't be certain about his intel on the matter, and had advised him to check at the cantina, or even at the town hall; he couldn't get lost, everything was very well signposted.

And then, he had left him at the town’s entrance; it was marked by two large gray buildings, connected by some sort of patrol path in an uneven arch, and framed by trees and other plants in huge flower beds where a lone tooka was dreaming, shaking its hind legs. In the main street just like on Nevarro, shops and houses were combined. Both sides were busy with colorful stalls, covered with sheets waving under the soft gusts of wind that rushed between the buildings, and store fronts were opened on the dirty paving stones, roofs spiked with antennas and moisture collectors.

And past the fortified feel of the place, everything looked rather peaceful, maybe even safe. However, Din didn’t want to let this feeling dull his vigilance… He balled his fist on the bag’s flap from which the child had pulled his head out to watch what was surrounding them with wide, curious eyes.

Din crossed the path of a Rodian, busy arguing in Huttese with an R4 droid as he walked onward in the streets, following the signs to the town hall. He reached a large, lush square where open foodstalls excited the attention of the child who let out a long chirp.

"Sorry, kid," Din told him, in a soft voice. "It's gonna be ration bars and soup for a little while longer. Unless I find a way to get us back on track…"

"Wooo."

But the child only looked happy to blink at the light and colours around him. And even more so when a group of three children playing ball on the square stopped at the satchel’s level to wave and talk to him a little. Din let them do without a word, and they scattered by themselves, hopping around like scared birds when he resumed his walk. The child waved to them with a high-pitched squeak as Din was going across the square to follow the signs and find the town hall.

The signs eventually brought him to a dilemma — the town hall on the left, or the cantina on the right. But Din chose to head towards the cantina; in his experience, it was a hotspot in his profession. So, he’d start there. But farther down, the street was already the theatre of its own excitment. Cries of support over the racket echoed between the facades and the crowd eventually pushed Din towards all the bustle. He was curious of what could be happening anyway. But also wary. He readjusted the flap over the head of the child who had sat down on his own at the bottom of the bag.

"Stay inside until I know what's going on," Din told him.

And he kept walking, picking his way through the crowd until reaching the edge of the bystanders line. Another group of people was blocking the street on the other side, surrounding three people fighting furiously; two men — a Human and a Balosar — against a woman, apparently Human too.

It seemed she had just kicked them out of her shop and wasn't backing down from the fight they wanted to pick with her. A very imbalanced one at that, considering the bulk of the two men compared to the woman's, but she didn’t let herself be overwhelmed either, dodging and parrying hits despite her obvious struggle to keep them off the arched front of her shop.

Around him, the so far peaceful crowd of Barjuun was becoming more and more excited, as if they had placed bets on this improvised arena, cheering and shouting. But if this clamor seemed to embolden the two men, the woman however appeared to be completely deaf to it. All her focus aimed at her attackers, she let them come forward on their own, ready for the next part of this little tussle without provoking any of it.

According to Din, this fight only carried on because the two men had a public, and because this woman wouldn’t back down. Whatever had started this fight, it was a matter of pride now. And the outcome of such clashes was rarely honorable…

She blocked a hit from the Human with her arms, closing her hand on his fist to twist his wrist and gave a quick kick in the Balosar’s thigh; if this effort offered her a bit of respite in their attacks, it also unsteadied her.

Sticking her foot back to ground at the last second to regain her balance, she only had the time to hunch, bringing her shoulder forward to take with a grunt the blow that the Human's free fist landed there.

She threw her shoulder against his chest and, with a surprised oomph, he stumbled a few steps back. Then, she finally released his arm to face the Balosar who wasn’t waiting to charge again; slenderer than the Human, he was still built larger than this woman that Din could already see loosing her breath. She pushed her long braid back behind her shoulder and barely dodged the left fist he threw to her face.

She grabbed him by the elbow but seemed to change her mind in the middle of the act, realizing that he would still be too heavy for her and, sliding in his back, she brought him to his knees with a simple kick of her heel in the calf, and a punch in the cheek for good measure.

The cheering of the crowd quickly turned into warnings when the Human, already behind her, grabbed her around the waist with both arms.

"Not so tough now, uh?!" he jeered, as he lifted her up.

As an answer, she threw her head backwards but, even if she only brushed his cheekbone without much damage, the Human roared his anger loudly, and threw her to the ground. She rolled over to the edge of the crowd who encouraged her, and she got clumsily back on her feet.

The way she was fighting and taking the hits wasn’t unknown to Din, like a cantina brawl version of what he had learned himself, and how the other Mandalorians he had known fought. And that, even in the mistakes she was making… Maybe that woman was a Mandalorian, maybe she had taken her helmet off, and then… couldn’t put it — nor her armor — back on again? Now, he wanted to know.

He freed his blaster of its safety hoop and let his hand rest on the grip, careful to the progress of the fight. She had caught the handle of a bucket full of metal scraps, which she poured on the paving stones, and the excited buzzing of the crowd grew louder when she strode to her opponents. The both of them burst into mocking laugher.

"Whatcha think you're gonna do wi' that?" the Human taunted her.

And, confident, the Balosar came forward to meet her. He threw his fists at her, the left then the right, opening his defense on all his left side. The woman didn’t need anything else to exploit that weakness, and send a wide, sweeping slap of her bucket to the guy’s face — THUNK!

The crowd burst into laugher, and there were a few claps. In the bag, the child wiggled a bit but Din kept him hidden inside with a firm hand. The Human’s went red with anger at the sight of the beating she had just inflicted to is acolyte, and charged again. To the general surprise, the woman rushed to him too and, sticking her head in her bucket, holding it in place by the handle, she flung her face straight into the Human’s — BLANG!

A general OUCH rose from the crowd among the laughter. Din, however, wasn’t laughing, watchful and tense.

"Good trick, Elak!" someone shouted in the crowd, on the other side.

But the woman had already taken the bucket off, staggering as well from the shock, a hand to her forehead, and turned around just in time to give another bucket slap to the Balosar who was coming back on her. He blocked the hit this time, but with a strong kick with the flat of her foot right into his stomach, she sent him falling and crashing against a landspeeder parked there. Panting, she dropped her bucket which clattered to the ground.

For a slight moment of hesitation, the fight appeared to be over even through the torrent of insults spewed by the Human behind both his hands clutching at his nose, and that she seemed to ignore, her eyes on the Balosar who was catching his breath, leaning on the inside of the speeder.

"Now, I'm gonna kriffing flat you, you filthy little kreetle!" the Human bawled, his nose bleeding.

And in an instant, he was already on her to throw a violent punch. An arm raised, she managed to soften the blow but it still knocked her to the ground. With a quick scissor move of her legs in the Human’s ankles, she sent him on his back in a loud groan when the back of his head hit the dirty paving stones. He brought his hands to his forehead and furled weakly on the side, stunned. That one wouldn’t get back up so quickly. But neither would the woman; standing on her elbows, head low, she was laboriously catching her breath, exhausted. And she ought to be, considering all the fire she was putting in the fight!

The way she moved, the way she was trying to keep her feet stuck to the ground and her bodyweight to her advantage in her fighting circle reminded him of a little more than a Mandalorian fighting style. It was something even more familiar. He liked the feeling and was letting it linger a little when a swift move from one of the thugs put all his senses in alert; the Balosar had picked up some big and heavy adjustable wrench in the back of the landspeeder that he was now bringing back into the fight.

With a sharp breath, the woman nimbly crawled towards a pile of scrap from which she pulled a long metal bar under the panicked screams and protests from the crowd. But Din wouldn’t wait to see how skilled she was at using this, nor if anyone else than him would finally intervene; he drew his blaster and, as the Balosar was raising his improvised weapon, shot a single bolt — PEW!

The wrench jumped from his hands to fall heavily behind him with a flat thonk on the paving stones. His glance of disbelief fell on Din, his blaster still in hand and around whom the crowd had cleared, frightened. Without further ado, the Balosar leaned down to his acolyte, helping him to his feet before scuttering away. The crowd on the other side split in two to let them stumble out of the street. Then, Din holstered.

On the ground, the woman was getting up with some renewed energy and a smile. She twirled the metal bar with a skillful swing of her wrist to hold it safe in her back, and Din felt a strange shiver ran through him; it was a move he saw Crahl, his Mandalorian instructor, make countless time at the end of a training session with staves and spears, back when he was a boy, in his original covert.

"Thank you for that," she told him in a breathless voice, but still smiling.

And the breath was knocked out of him too as he stared at her walking up to him, waving at a few people congratulating her in the crowd; Din would never have thought he’d see this face again one day, nor hear this voice talking to him…

"What’s your name, brother?"

She held an arm out to him and it felt like he had just stayed still for an eternity before slowly raising his to grab hers in return. He felt her fingers pressing inside his wrist, just above his vambrace. Din couldn’t make a sound, avoiding to even face his thoughts, and the truth smiling to his face. There was a bit of white in her hair and she looked older, but it was definitely her, there was no way for him to get that wrong; he had grown up with her! He knew by heart these green eyes, these freckles, that faint scar across the right corner of her mouth, a scar she'd gotten because of him…

She hadn’t changed that much, and yet, he was rediscovering her as if he was seeing her for the first time. As he was still not saying anything, she glanced at his signet and asked:

"Who’s clan are you of?"

Finally, he found the strength to talk, to utter a sound.

"Elara?"

He hadn’t said that name for nearly twenty years… and it felt strange, scary, painful, but a relief as well to hear himself say it again. In front of him, she frowned and her smile vanished as she made a step back.

CLING CLANG!

The clattering of the metal bar she had just dropped made him almost jump. He felt the grip of her fingers weaken on his wrist and he released his too, to let her withdraw, run away if she wanted. She had recognized him too, he had no doubt… Even if for her too, it seemed painful to admit. He could read the conflict of emotions in her wide eyes, as much as he could see the tears building up there. She made another step back but her fingers lingered a little on his, and she first mouthed a silent word. And then:

"Din?"

Her voice was hoarse, choked and maybe the pain was just as real as it sounded because her hand left his to go to her throat, which she massaged with a wince. He only gave her a slow nod.

Around them, the crowd had scattered, way less entertained by their reunion than by the spectacle of the brawl. Elara wasn’t making another sound, her breath short and her brows furrowed, and Din reached for her cheek to wipe a rolling tear with his thumb. She closed her eyes and other tears followed, but she enjoyed his touch, even gloved. He felt her shake in his palm and, moved himself, he lowered his hand with a look at the street around them, back to an apparently normal activity. He swallowed hard and finally managed to say:

"What happened with those men?"

She sniffled her tears and wiped her cheeks with the back of her sleeves, letting out a brief, sarcastic laugh.

"Oh that! Well, um, they tried to con me… to keep it simple. T'wasn't a first we had trouble with them but, uh, I figured it was time to put a stop to it."

Saying that, she turned her head to the arched storefront where an alien Din didn't know the species of was standing, calm, holding a jacket that looked way too big for him in his arms.

"I tried to keep things civil but… they didn't like it."

She winced a smile that only stressed out the sadness in her eyes.

"You're still a merchant," Din noticed, more to avoid leaving a blank in the conversation than out of real surprise. "What are you selling now?"

She shrugged and Din noticed another painful wince which wrinkled her nose for a tick; he had no doubt she had to be sore after such a brawl.

"Well, I sell what's selling… These days, it's scraps and junk. Tomorrow, who knows?"

Din didn’t find anything to answer, torn between everything he would have wanted to say, and a heavy feeling of guilt. It was her who eventually broke the silence that threatened to settle with a sigh.

"Y'know what? I need to drink something right now."

Elara smiled again.

"We have a very nice cantina. Want to join me?"

Din only approved with a nod again. And she affectionately squeezed his thumb in her hand before turning to the alien Din understood to be her co-worker.

"You're gonna be good without me for a bit ?"

He nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, go," he fended her off, handing her the jacket she recovered. "Take a break."

"I sure need one!" she laughed.

The alien returned in the shop and, putting her jacket back on, Elara gestured Din to follow with a tilt of her head.

"Come," she invited him. "I’m gonna show you around."

And Din followed her. He was on his way to the cantina anyway.

The cantina wasn’t too far after the shop where Elara worked with Chell, her associate. The place was also pretty similar to Nevarro’s, excepted for its larger entrance at the crossing of two streets and left open on a small square, and for its ambiance; a bit of music was coming out of it and the boisterous laughter of a group of patrons at the central counter greeted them.

They drew curious glances as they entered and some welcomed Elara who waved back to them, before she led Din to take place far from the musician’s stage and the bar, in the only free booth after a long high window opened on the street. There, they’d be able to speak without being too disturbed and, most importantly, he could let the child get out of his bag.

Elara settled on the booth seat that had its back turned to the door, and let Din settle in front of her with the door in sight. He wasn’t sure she’d done it on purpose, but he felt grateful. He put the satchel on the seat and settled on its edge so that he wouldn’t have to take his jetpack off.

"So, you changed your armor?" she noted to start the conversation.

"The one you knew needed to be reforged after…"

He trailed off; he didn’t want to especially talk about all that.

"After a commission."

She cracked a simple, honest smile.

"I liked the red one but… this one’s great too."

And a silence settled between them, despite the laughter of the patrons and another musical piece. A single question haunted Din, a single question he didn’t dare to really ask and yet, that he ached to ask. He watched Elara, gesturing to someone, probably calling the barkeep’s attention, smiling again then, she turned back to him, hands joined in front of her on the table. Then, Din finally found his courage:

"Have you… sworn the Creed?"

He didn’t really know what answer to expect but the loving look in her eyes stirred the emotion that this little walk up to the cantina hadn’t snuffed away.

"No, Din," she answered softly, almost tender. "I just learned how to fight like one of you."

"But, you hated violence," he interjected. "Why did you?!"

This time, she looked embarrassed and looked down to her hands before facing him again. Her eyes found his through his visor. That didn’t surprise him, though; he was the one who had taught her where to look to keep holding his gaze after he had sworn the Creed himself, after his trials.

"A lot of things changed after you left."

In his turn, he looked down, glancing nervously to the bag that was wriggling.

"I still don’t like it," she then explained, her tone lighter. "But it's a valuable skill out there. I'm sure you noticed."

He nodded, approving vaguely.

"You should be more careful with your stance when you strike," he told her, concerned. "A chance these two saw nothing of the opportunities you left open. You fight like you're still wearing training gear…"

He didn't expect her to chuckle, amused.

"Fifteen odd years and countless parsecs of galaxy, and the first thing that comes to your mind when we meet again… is to blast my fighting style?!"

Din winced, sorry. He only wanted to incite her to be careful, but he realized how patronizing he had to have sounded just now. And yet, she smiled to him again.

"That's how I learned," she continued, playful, with a shrug. "But I'm sure Crahl would be very interested in what you have to say about his teachings!"

This revelation confused Din, even though it made perfect sense; he had recognised her moves out there, and who else, back on Varthen-4 could have taught her how to fight other than their instructor, the one who was teaching to all the foundlings of the stronghold?

"Also, I've never found myself in a situation where I had to fight people more able than those two, today. And I crossed path with quite a few specimen of bastards in my time out there, believe me!"

Din didn’t doubt it for a second. He could tell her stories too… And maybe he would. For now, he preferred to ask, careful:

"Why did you leave? It… was your home."

Her smile vanished and Din hated himself for it.

"No," she let out in a creaking sigh, reclining against the backrest. "It wasn't anything anymore…"

Those words were painful to hear, he felt pain for her, but he understood. In the bag, the child was protesting against the flap he didn’t manage to push away, and Din helped him with it before taking him on his lap. In front of them, Elara’s eyes widened and her smile came back to light up her face; she leaned forward, putting her elbows on the table to greet him, excited:

"Hello, little one!"

As an answer, the child let out a long, happy coo and his long ears straightened up a bit as he watched her, curious. She extended a finger, as if to invite him to shake hands with her and the child gripped it with a high-pitched quaver. Then, she looked up to Din.

"What could you possibly be doing with a child in a bag?!"

She was laughing but kept her voice low.

"He is… my current mission," he said — the simpler, the better.

The child freed her finger and Elara brought her hands back in front of her on the table.

"Your mission?"

But she didn’t ask much more of it.

"I saw one like him once, but never a young!"

"You did?" he echoed, interested.

"Yeah, I'm a space merchant, Din. I see a lot of different people everywhere."

"Where, and when?!"

And she seemed taken aback by his sudden pressing questions.

"Well, um…" she stammered. "It was only one, and quite some time ago, back when I was flying with the first crew I joined up."

She winced.

"Sorry…"

He shook his head slowly and was about to reassure her when the barmaid showed up at their table.

"So, what can I get ya, today ?" she asked, wiping her hands on her apron. "Oh, new faces ! Kind of…"

She had a tensed smile.

"Anyway, what will it be?"

Din picked the few coins he still had in his pocket and looked at them in the palm of his hand, spreading them there with a move of his thumb.

"What can I get to eat with this?"

The barmaid shot a single glance at them.

"Well…"

She had another tensed smile.

"Maybe some leftovers or… gravy?"

Din had a slow sigh that his vocoder picked up, and he was about to pay for anything she could bring when Elara chimed in:

"Can I get two groundapple juices and a tip-yip bowl?"

"Roasted, as usual?" the barmaid replied with a more earnest smile.

"Of course!"

Elara gave her a few coins pulled from one of her jacket’s pocket.

"Comin' right up!" the barmaid then claimed before walking away.

"Thank you," Din said to her, humble.

He had understood the bowl wouldn’t be for her. She waved the subject with a casual flick of her hand, then asked:

"What brought you here, in Barjuun anyway?"

"My ship needs repairs and… I'm also looking for a job."

"D'you plan on staying long?" she asked, hopeful.

He was pained to disappoint her.

"No, it's just a refuelling stop. I have to take the kid back to his kind…"

At these words, Elara’s attention went back to the child to whom she smiled. He squawked a happy sound, apparently very interested by the musicians.

"How did you wind up with a mission like this?"

Din gritted his teeth.

"It's a long story."

"I'd like to hear it, though."

And Din would have wanted to say it, to tell her all of that story like they were telling almost absolutely everything to one another when they were children. But it was a complicated one to put into words. Especially after so much time apart. And she didn’t insist.

"Do you know if I can find some work here, or nearby?"

She gave it a thoughtful minute of reflexion.

"Mmh, no. Not at the cantina anyway. I worked here for some time and I never heard about something… that could fit your skills. Maybe the town hall?"

He nodded in silence.

"I can also ask around, if it can help you," she added, reclining again against the backrest of the booth seat with a painful wince. "What is it you're looking for, piloting jobs… or something else?"

Din wasn’t hiding the fact that he was a bounty hunter, that he was selling his skills at the execution of a second hand justice in the Outer Rim, but that was just not what he was upon leaving his original covert. He could tell she got it. She was just being polite about it.

"I’ll ask around," she finally said, faced with his silence. "I'm not so sure you'd make fracs'n'blacks, but there must be someone you could help for a few good creds around here. That, I'm sure."

She smiled wide, and Din felt himself smile too, shyly. On the stage, the musicians were taking a break.

Some time later, their order had been brought by the barmaid, and all of the child’s attention had then been focused on the bowl of steaming meat and vegetables while Din had asked Elara to tell him about what had brought her here.

She had taken a long sip of her glass of green fruit juice in which floated a whole bunch of shaved ice before telling him a little — too little — about her training with Crahl, then this first crew she had joined up with, and with which she had only stayed for a year. Then, she had remained very vague about her time as a courier for a moisture farms' supplier to go on a tangent about her love for speederbikes instead. A few years later, she had joined another crew but had only stayed for a few months. According to her, the captain was a good man but the climate on board was rotten…

"After that, I spent some time on Goshir, and then, back on a ship with a Corellian crew. This one was very nice, though. Didn't stay as long as I would've liked, and I'm here since."

It was the short version, obviously. But he didn’t say anything of it, accepting what she was giving him, without comments.

"And what about you?" she then asked him, after a sip from her glass she was making last. "What did you do in all that time?"

"I’ve been… around."

Nothing really fascinating in being a bounty hunter. Not before the bounty on the child, at least. The latter was watching one of the cooked vegetables in his hand before handing it to Elara.

"Thank you, you’re too kind," she said, taking what he was giving her.

She tore a bit of the vegetable with her fingers to eat it.

"Who's signet is this?" she then asked, before peeling another bit of green. "Did you join a clan or… are you still with the Mandalorians you left with?"

As fair as the question was, it still made him uneasy. He focused for a second on the child who was sipping loudly his own glass of groundapple juice in which the ice had melted while he was busy eating all the meat in his bowl.

"No. I… I lost my first covert."

And right now, he didn’t feel like admitting he had lost their trace after leaving for too long when he joined Ran’s gang on a shadow station, deep into an even shadier corner of the Outer Rim.

"And my last one had to relocate," he summed up. "I'm alone, now… It's just the kid and me."

"So, it’s your signet?" she grasped, impressed.

Din wasn’t entirely sure Elara knew how one could earn a signet, but he still kept the details to himself. No need to tell her now that he almost died in that fight. The child was putting his empty glass down with a happy gurgle, and Elara swallowed what remained of the vegetable she was holding in her fingers, which she then wiped in the napkin that had been brought with the plate.

"Yes, it is," he confirmed.

"But what is it? I don't know that beast…"

"A mudhorn. They live on very wild planets, in caves…"

"And you just killed it?" she asked, a clear certainty in her tone.

"Yes."

That was summing things up pretty well. And yet, he wanted to tell her all about how he didn't die that day. Something, in his very core, buried deep, was taking her presence like an invitation to speak, to confide in her… But that wouldn’t be safe for the child and him, or even for her, and he didn’t have the time either. That thought made his heart sink. Even more so when he pushed himself to say:

"I’m… gonna have to go to the town hall."

And check on the progress of his ship’s repairs, but Din didn’t say any of it; he didn’t want to burden her either. Elara nodded, her smile gone, and Din put the child on the table while he got up from the seat. She was smiling again when she looked up to the child, in front of her.

"Did you fill your boots, little one?"

"Doo."

She chuckled and stroked the tip of an ear as Din was putting the open satchel on the table. The child blinked his big eyes to him and tilted his head, as if to express his incomprehension.

"Come on, kid. We have to go."

His ears twitched a bit but after a glance at the musicians at the back of the cantina, he started to walk to the bag.

"Maybe it's not that fun to travel in a bag," Elara observed, playful. "Especially with a full belly!"

Din cracked a smile.

"I'll be careful."

"I'm sure you will," she told him tenderly.

Mute, throat tight, he lowered the flap of the bag once the child settled. He would have to find something to say now, he would have to find the strength to say goodbye to her, to say those words he had never said to anyone, and even less so to those that mattered to him… He only strapped the satchel on his shoulder, as if to give himself one second more. Elara put a light hand on his, holding his fingers shyly.

"Come back to the shop before you go," she invited him, her voice shaken by a bottled emotion. "Don't leave without saying goodbye this time… Please?"

She winced a smile but he could read the sorrow in her eyes. He didn’t want to make her sad. She squeezed his fingers a bit harder in hers, like a silent request and Din squeezed them back. He felt a bit calmer now that she had made the first step. And speaking, answering, felt easier.

"I will."

She lowered her head to hide her emotion, her relief, and she was still smiling when she looked up at him. So, she freed him with a nod, her lips pursed.

"See you later, then…"

Din acknowledged and, tearing himself painfully from the ground, he left the cantina, without daring to look back. He would keep his word, and would come to tell her goodbye this time, he'd make that effort for her! And yet, he had the feeling that he was leaving her behind, once again.

Din’s visit at the town hall turned out to be disappointing; the Guild didn’t operate from Barjuun anymore since a few years back. And if that could be seen as some good news for the demographics of a city or a planet, today, it wasn’t really helping Din’s finances.

So, he had returned to the city’s entrance where he had waited for a landspeeder for a good ten minutes. During that time, he had considered to use his jetpack but the prospect of drawing more unwanted attention and making the child sick in flight had put some patience back into him. He didn’t lack any usually. Today, things simply got overwhelming. Really overwhelming…

Din had been grateful to the driver of that landspeeder for being a bit less chatty than the previous one; he needed to hear himself think for a little while. Stumbling upon his childhood friend at a random pit stop wasn’t part of his flight plan. Honestly, he had always thought she was still on Varthen-4, maybe had started a family of her own, bought herself a ship and resumed the trade runs. Maybe she had even continued to help the covert, like her parents before her.

Din clenched his jaw, and fists; deep inside, he knew he had always been lying to himself. He knew her better than that! He could figure now that she had left just like him, that she had given up her place to others once she had been taught everything she needed like it was the custom in a covert and that, maybe because all the Mandalorians there had shown her that example, because he, of all people, had shown her the example in leaving the way he did…

A coo from the child caught his attention back to him ; he had pulled his head out and, his little fingers tightened on his fist heavy on the bag, he was leaning his face to the wind, eyes squinted and his long ears flapping, as the landspeeder carried them away. Din let out a slow sigh and a bit of peace came back to his thoughts. He didn’t want to do the same mistakes again this time.

He’d give Elara the means to send him holos on his ship if she wanted to, from time to time. And maybe he’d come back to see her here, once he would have finally found those Jedi, and that the child would be safe with them. Truth be told, Din would love that.

Back to the spaceport and the bay 26, the Crest had apparently been repaired but was still connected to its pump by a thick, black hose, its port and aft ramps lowered. But the mechanic was nowhere to be seen. So Din came closer to the cabin’s window; through the filth and the scratches, he could make out someone bent over some sort of desk covered with mechanical mess, head in arms, short lekkus hanging on each shoulder.

"Hey!" he called.

No reaction. So, he hit with the flat of his hand against the glass — BLAM. Behind the window, the Twi’lek jumped, half awake.

"Wha-what?!"

He shot a glance through the glass, readjusting on his forehead what was circling his head.

"Uuugh… M'comin'."

He got down from his seat and came out of the cabin, straightening his overalls. It was in fact a rather young girl who faced him, yawning.

"Sorry," she told him. "Started my shift early today…"

She stretched her shoulders backwards, fists on her lower back, asking:

"My uncle isn't here. What can I do for you?"

"Where is he?"

"Lunch break."

Din sighed.

"Is my ship ready?"

She shot a glance at the Crest and had an uncomfortable wince and frown.

"Tell you what," she said. "I'm gonna go fetch him."

Din only acknowledged, helmet tilted and slightly miffed, even if she couldn’t see any of it. The girl waved a hand, index up and one or two silent syllables on her lips before scuttering away. And he didn't have to wait for too long; the girl came back with the mechanic ahead of her, a sandwich in hand.

"Then, when it starts to blink red, it means you unplug the thing, fast! Or else, you're gonna have another kind of failure on your hands, and believe me, you ain't gonna like this one… Ah, Mando!"

"Is my ship ready?"

"Yeah, yeah," the mechanic retorted with a flick of his free hand. "She's all good now. But, eeerr, there's a teeny tiny thing…"

Teeth gritted, Din waited to hear about this new setback. The mechanic was already busying himself by the port ramp, searching through one of the open crates with one hand.

"I was working on the hull and, I took five to check on the landing gear too… I mean, I always do. I pride myself in my work, you see!"

Din knew that, he had already told him, earlier this morning. The mechanic grumbled something before holding the sandwich with his teeth, and plunging both hands in a toolbox. And he continued to speak. Or at least, it sounded like he did, every word muffled by the sandwich.

"Ww-ight?"

He turned to face them and took a generous bite in his sandwich before handing the rest of it to his niece. Din and the girl exchanged a glance; she looked confused, if not embarrassed, as she took it off his hands.

"I said," he went on, his mouth full. "You know your main port got a bent beam and strut, right?"

As Din didn’t answer, he turned back to his rummaging in the crates.

"And, eerr, may I advise you to get your dampers replaced? I can do it, for a little more creds…"

To that, Din didn’t answer either. And suddenly, the mechanic let out a triumphant ah. He spun around, making a blinking item jump in the palm of his hand.

"So, I was checking your main gear and I found something, eeerr, interesting?"

He threw him the thing that Din caught with one hand — a thing that kinda looked like a tracking fob.

"T'was sticked into the coat of your door…"

Saying this, he slapped the open door of the port landing gear.

"It was shiny and glowy, it caught my eye while I was checking her foot," he explained, recovering his sandwich from his niece’s hands. "But it had no business doin' no shining or glowing there…"

Ashen, Din couldn’t have said it better himself, indeed. In the palm of his hand, the thing was blinking with a slow, orange round light. It was a long-range tracker, the military type. And according to him, this was here because of Gideon’s remnant’s spies… Din had a now better understanding of how those TIE fighters had managed to figure out which of the ships to follow out of their formation over Nevarro. He clenched his fist on it, as if to muffle its signal, and the reddish glow kept shining defiantly between his fingers.

"Methinks one of your bounty hunter friends ain't playing fair, and wants to best you on some prize, yeah?"

Din looked up to him and the proud smile of the mechanic quivered faced with his visor. He cleared his throat. But Din’s thought were way beyond the idea of making him feel uneasy; he had to leave now, he couldn’t even go back to say goodbye to Elara like he had promised, and this realization made him feel heavy where he stood, his breath short.

BRAANG! BRAANG! BRAANG!

The alarm in the hangar’s cabin made him jump, hand to his blaster. The girl rushed to shut it down.

"So, what you're gonna do?" the mechanic asked.

"Unlock my ship," Din commanded, in a hurry. "I have to leave, now!"

"So, no fixin' the dampers, then?"

Now, Din had an itch on his trigger finger, and this time, he made a step forward, threatening.

"Ok, ok," the mechanic raised his hand and sandwich, placatingly. "I'm setting her free, no need to get testy…"

And he put what remained of his sandwich down on the toolbox to start picking up the thick, black hose and disconnect it from the Crest when the girl came back, panting and stammering.

"Do… do we still have vacancies f-for small crafts?"

"C'mon, Nirhee! Look on the kriffin' grid! What d'you think terminals are made for, eh?!"

"Yes, but… The tower said they are—"

"They?!" the mechanic echoed, dropping the hose without detaching it, and to face her. "What kind of ships are they?!"

Din was starting to lose patience. He had to leave before the warship tracked him down through hyperspace! The girl shot a worried glance to Din, frightened even.

"That's the thing, the tower said they were Imperial fighters…"

Their bewildered, definitely scared eyes turned to him. Din’s blood froze in his veins and his fist clenched on the tracker. Too late…

He was about to throw the tracker to the ground, to crush it under his heel when two TIEs flew over this part of the spaceport — a recon flight, like Cara had said. They had to be looking for the origin of the signal, looking for the Crest, looking for him.

But if he destroyed that tracker now, it wouldn’t change anything to his last recorded location. And a warship could perfectly block all entrance and exit from the spaceport as long as the troops it contained wouldn’t be done turning over every stone of the city and the whole planet. Even if he had managed to get away in the meantime…

Din didn’t have a choice, yet again. He had brought this threat on Zar-Oda, he had to deter them from the planet, to fight them and then run away… But he was on his own this time, alone against an uncertain number of fighters. And he had no doubt that, after the defeat that had been inflicted to them above Nevarro, he’d have to expect a much heavier squadron.

In the satchel, the child wiggled a little, letting out a slow whine under the flap. Din couldn’t do this with the child on board either… He felt his heart sink to think about Elara, at the idea of getting her involved in this, of entrusting her with the child…

Also, if he couldn’t manage to beat them on his own, maybe they would at least believe that the child had been killed alongside him… But he knew for certain that Gideon wanted the child alive. And maybe he wanted him alive too, now. So, with a little luck, this point might give Din a tactical advantage, as he would shoot to kill.

His decision was made, he had to be quick. He threw the tracker back to the mechanic who barely caught it, juggling clumsily with it so as not to let it fall like it had been a thermal detonator. In some way, it was one for Din.

"Put that on my seat, I'm gonna take care of it."

He would need it to lure the TIEs after him.

"Are those Imps here 'cause of ya?!"

Din left his question unanswered.

"Have my ship ready for when I come back! I won't be long so, work fast!"

"Eeerr, ok?"

No time to wait for a landspeeder; Din would go airborne.

"Sorry, kid," he told him, holding the bag and the child inside it firmly, pressed against his chestplate. "This flight won't be a smooth one…"

With a tap on his vambrace, he activated his jetpack. His HUD changed and, he jumped into flight under the shouts of surprise of the mechanic and the girl.

Their landing in the street, right by the arched storefront of Elara’s shop, had been as noticed and cause for surprise as their takeoff. But Din ignored them to stride in the shop. Inside, in the large, very cluttered room, there were no customers, and Elara was busy sorting a pile of scraps in a lev-loader — she straightened up when he entered, lifting her goggles up on her cap, a smile on her face.

"Back so soon!"

Her smile wavered.

"Wait, you're leaving already!?"

"Not exactly," Din replied, on a hurried tone. "Can you take care of him?"

He handed her the satchel where the child looked all cowering after this brutal flight. A brief moment of silent surprise and she uttered:

"Yes, of course!"

He put the satchel and the child in her extended arms.

"Din, what's going on?" she asked, as serious as she was nervous.

"I don't have time to explain, I'm sorry," he quickly said — and yet, he owed her at least a few, essential explanations. "I need you to keep him safe."

She nodded with a frown, heedful.

"Should anything happen to me—"

"Din!"

"Please, Ela."

She stiffened and pursed her lips. But he continued:

"Hopefully, it won't come to that, but if I don't come back, take him there…"

Upon those words, he searched in one of the pockets of his utility belt to pick Karga’s datastick out of it.

"Once you're on this planet, search for a Jedi."

"A what?"

"And give them the child…"

Despite the shock and her obvious worry, she took the datastick he was handing her. Din felt heavy under the weight of his guilt, and his gratitude's also.

"If you find no Jedi there, seek other Mandalorians… He's a foundling."

Those words made her raise her eyebrows in surprise.

"By Creed, they will help you."

He didn’t have time to give her the coordinates of his armorer's new covert. He would have to make it so that he wouldn’t need all those precautions.

"I'm sorry to ask this of you, I—"

"Din, I know," she cut him off, still dead serious. "This is the way."

Now, it was his turn to be surprised.

"Whatever it is you have to do, go! He's safe here."

Din touched her arm, to express his gratitude more than with the simple words he said along with it:

"Thank you."

Without waiting any longer, he turned back to leave the shop, and take off again, to fly back to the spaceport.

Upon his return to the hangar, the Crest was ready to go, has he had requested. And after asking for his spot to be kept available, Din took off. He knew for certain he’d need a few more repairs at the end of this little diversion attempt.

No craft had flown over the spaceport again, not chased after him while in the atmosphere. The tracker was blinking silently on the dashboard, and Din left the sky of Zar-Oda. There, he went on a wide spin above the planet to detect the presence of other crafts… But there was none. No TIE fighters, no warships.

"C'mon, where are you?!"

Had he only been trying to flee, the situation would have been ideal; he would only have had to push the reactors to gain a little advance on his pursuers out of the gravity well of the planet and its celestial bodies, and hope to jump in hyperspace while dodging as much damage as he could. But then, still no trace of his pursuers, neither on his scanners, nor in space in front of him. Maybe they were still in the planet’s atmosphere.

So, Din would play the escape game all the way through; he pushed the reactors’ powers and followed the planet’s curve to launch himself towards the dark void of space. The scanner picked up the approach of a craft, somewhere in front of him — a single craft.

The TIE fighter looked like tearing itself from the shadow of Zar-Oda’s closest moon, spinning on itself, like after a sharp turn. Din didn’t alter his own course. On one of his screens, he managed to stabilize his aim enough to try and hit, so he took the shot, engaging combat. He doubted there was only a single fighter up here; the two others had to be somewhere else, covering a larger area of space.

Din didn’t give much more thought to it, he had the TIE perfectly aligned in his sights. He let it get a little closer to have it in his effective combat range. And he was about to shoot when his target tumbled on its port panel in a quick roll. Green canon bolts shot through space until scratching his starboard wing and Din maneuvered in the nick of time to avoid them; on his screen, the scanner revealed the presence of two other TIEs.

With a push of the throttle, he increased his speed to dodge their backstab now that he had their location. Plunging in a spiral, he’d be harder to aim at, even if it wasn’t to shoot him down. But contrary to the Crest, the TIEs were agile crafts, build for this kind of maneuvers, and so were their pilots. The two wingmen followed him and then, split up to flank him, too close for comfort. And Din was sure that the third — and undoubtedly others — were about to show up to wrangle him exactly where they wanted him to be.

This thought barely formed that the lead man reappeared in front of him, far enough to be not much more than a black and gray shape, but still clear enough for Din to know that he would soon be in their range. With a sharp tilt of his controls, he pulled the power, his ship groaned and vibrated at the deployment of the reversal system, decelerating to the point of almost stopping to let the two pesky wingmen overtake him. And then, Din restarted the reactors in a beat and at full power, correcting his course. The Crest’s reactors raged in a dazzling yellow light but Din didn't reduce the speed. He knew his ship very well, he knew what he could do with it, and what he couldn't.

The three crafts were now in front of him and he shot without aiming, scratching and hitting at random, and the canons of the TIE coming in front of him replied in a continuous burst which banged on his hull in green flashes and shrill alerts from his console about his deflector shield’s status. Still not reducing speed, Din tried to lock his aim on this craft facing him but its two allies had reversed to come to its help.

Overwhelmed and scratched by multiple shots, Din was forced to pull back; rolling on his side, he rushed under the TIEs’ bellies, straightened up immediately and shot up, catching the tracker as it slid from the console to clutch it in his fist, as if to crush it. The TIEs were following him in disorganized flight and, slowly dropping the reactor’s power, Din made the Crest roll on its back until he could face them again. Then, he let himself drift slowly.

Through the cockpit’s viewport, he could see the three crafts rushing towards him. Din prepared his own attack, flicking switches on his dashboard to redistribute power to his stabilizers and pressing the buttons to speed up his cannons' charge.

"C'mon…" he breathed, and his own vocoded voice sounded to him like a scream in the cockpit’s silence.

At this very moment, heart pounding hard and highly focused, he missed the precious help of Cara, Rush, Indar and Ud-Rakru… The TIEs shot a simple burst, without really aiming. Even if they weren’t at the ideal range and angle for an efficient shot yet, this small, simple detail implicitly confirmed to Din that the pilots had the order to cut his wings, not to shoot him down… and that they indeed thought the child was on board.

Ready, Din waited a bit longer and, under another crossfire, he reignited the engines and the Crest dived on his command between the three fighters. In a snapping bang and a spray of metal shards, his starboard reactor scratched one of the panels, nearly clipping it, and the shots of one of the fighters hit another — BOOM!

Had he not been so tensed and focused, Din would have laughed. But now, the situation wasn’t really one to laugh about, and that even less so when the two other engaged him, almost at point blank. From this distance, there was no way they’d miss. Din increased his speed under the wild bips of his console and dived just on time to make it so that the shots only scraped on the whole upper surface of the hull. This time, he was fleeing for real…

But the TIEs stopped shooting, sharply spinning around and dropping the fight. Din was recognizing a retreat maneuver when he was seeing one… But his more pressing question was why?! Something was up…

And Din’s first thought was that they were heading back to the warship, or that it was getting closer to the planet. But his screens weren’t picking anything anymore, not even the runaway fighters. He hesitated to destroy the tracker, still in his clenched fist. But he would need it to get this warship off his back, and Zar-Oda’s.

Tensed and worried, Din altered his course; he would do a quick check of the planet's surroundings, just to be sure, and recover the child — they had to get away from here as fast as possible.

Since Din had given her the little one almost an hour ago, Elara couldn’t have done much of all the workload that was waiting for her since the morning. Chell had gone to visit his clients and make some deliveries when she returned from the cantina, leaving her the counter, and she had got the entire shop for herself to take care of the child. His big eyes wide open in a sad expression, his ears low and the strong clutch of his small fingers around her index, he looked much more fearful than during her first impression in the cantina.

She had gotten him out of his bag to let him waddle a little on the counter before taking him in her arms with the arrival of the afternoon’s first clients. There, he had calmed down a bit, paying attention to all the noisy or talkative fuss of the shop going on around him.

Then, once they were alone again, Elara had kept talking to him; she had made him visit the place, had told him about her room above the shop, and they had even shared some salty treats from Chell’s personal reserve. He wouldn’t notice, anyway.

Other clients had come — a father and his two children — and Elara had left the child sitting on the counter while she helped the father and his daughter to find in the lev-loader the spare parts they needed to fix their droid. The little boy, however, had come to the counter and had babbled with the child who Elara had heard giggle on a high-pitched tone.

Once they were gone, she had focused back on him; sitting on the counter, he was playing with something in his hands, a necklace. And she had recognized its pendant with emotion. She had stroked the mythosaur skull with her thumb, smiling and heart heavy; she had seen this little piece of beskar around Din’s neck all their childhood. Or rather, until he had donned his full armor, anyway.

"D'you know the story of the mythosaurs?" she had asked him, as if he could answer. "Din told me that story himself when we were very little."

And for a reason she didn’t know, her words had made him titter. Maybe he was old enough to understand, after all. She didn’t know his species, she couldn’t really have said…

In any case, all these attentions had seemed enough to help him relax and, rocked by her comings and goings in the main room of the shop, he had eventually fallen asleep. And then, Elara could have done the same! There hadn’t been much clients for a good half hour and she could feel all the pains of this morning’s scrape here and there in her tensed body. She hadn’t planned to fight today, and it had been a while since the last time she had taken the time to prepare her muscles and keep them sharp through the regular warm ups of her training. A huge mistake, she was realising it now…

That being said there were so many other things she hadn’t planned. Like reuniting with her childhood friend, her best friend, for example, and that he would leave her his foundling to protect in a matter of hours. What were the odds?! If someone had bet with her that she'd see him again one day, she would clearly have lost that bet. This wasn't her kind of gambling anyway…

Sometime, in all these years, she had ended up believing him dead, and had added him to her daily grieving, remembering his name along those of her parents and her brother. In some ways, he had been part of her family… That was how she had always seen things, anyway. But now, he was here, alive… and with a foundling.

Elara yawned as she made her stool swivel in a complete circle, drawing from it a slow, creaking complaint under her weight and the child’s, much like the cry of a Glider. She fended off the tingling of sleep with a deep breath in and, in the crook of her left arm — the other shoulder was hurting her too much — the child let out a sleepy coo, one of his big ears flat under her throat, by her heart. Elara smiled, thinking back to little Jakem who had slept innumerable times the very same way. He had to be so big now…

Elara let her head drop, staring at the vault of the yellowed roughcast ceiling where a rusted lamp was projecting a few small patterns of light, like the stars of a holochart, through the holes in the metal. She frowned, thinking back to that datastick Din had given her, now stashed in her jacket's inner pocket.

What planet was it? And what were those — what was it already — Jedi? And why would he want to leave them his foundling?

So many questions she'd rather ponder upon than to imagine what dangers he was facing right now. What dangers could have found him here, anyway? And worrying enough to make him consider he could not make it out on top of that. Zar-Oda was a rather peaceful planet, Barjuun a pleasant city, so what could there be to worry about? He had even said he only stopped here to get repairs on his ship. And those were as many questions she wanted to ask him, and she was definitely planning to.

But for now, she had to remain calm. And take care of this little one for him. This one was still sleeping peacefully. Elara counted the bright dots as she made the stool swivel again, making up constellations with them and giving them names…

"H’chu a', footoo!" a familiar voice exclaimed at the shop's front door.

She straightened up, holding her cap and her goggles on her head with her free hand to face M'sunke'bokt, the Nikto manager of the speedies repair shop down the street.

"'chuta", she greeted him in return, her voice low.

And she hoped that he would take the hint as not to speak too loud.

"You know what?!" he asked, still with the same booming voice — and still in Huttese.

Evidently, Bokt didn’t seem about to keep it down. Hopefully, once asleep, the little one looked like he could nap through everything and anything. And Bokt exclaimed again:

"Imps are in town!"

"Imps?" Elara echoed, squinting.

Bokt looked even more yellow between the shop's walls.

"Yeah! And they are looking around for a Mando!"

Elara took a sharp breath. Oh, so that was the danger, then… But, the Empire was gone!? Or so they said.

"You know, like that one who saved you this morning."

Grumpy but also very worried, she retorted:

"Nobody saved me, Bokt. But… d'you know why?"

Raising his large clawed hands in a sign of ignorance, he continued, lowering his voice for the first time:

"Don't know, don't care. But, you wouldn't happen to know where that one is now by any chance? 'cause if there's a reward for the capture, well I'm interested. Imperial money is still good money!"

And on that, he let out a brief burst of laugher, sounding like a threatening growl, uncovering his pointy teeth. Elara kept her own gritted, her breath short. In her arms, the little one woke up with a start and a slow, anxious whine. She smiled to him and rocked him a little, stroking one of his hands, extended to her face, and then looked back at Bokt’s small, black eyes again.

"Was there anything you needed or did you just come here to chew the fat?"

He laughed again.

"No, I just wanted to ask if you knew anything about the Mando."

"I don't," she replied, in a clipped tone. "But it was nice to gossip anyway. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to take care of the kid."

She was feeling the emergency now, and hoped only for Bokt to leave. He let out a long growl when his small eyes landed on the child.

"Had no idea you'd laid an egg," he jeered. "That's how you, humans, work, right?"

"Yeah," Elara retorted, faking indifference. "You got it all right, laser brain."

He growled a new laugh and waved his big clawed hand as goodbye before heading to the exit.

"Gonna go ask around if you don't mind!"

"Yeah, yeah, sure," she replied in Basic. "E chu ta…"

As soon as he had walked out the shop by the wide open doors, Elara cast a sweeping look around her, in a hurry, keeping on stroking the child’s hand and feeling the weight of his big, worried gaze on her. She had to find a place to hide him; if one way or another, those Imps knew for the foundling with him, she couldn’t wave this proof of his whereabouts under their noses!

But there weren’t many safe spots she could hide him in and still being able to keep an eye on, in which he wouldn't risk hurting himself. None other than the metal lockers on the wall next to the counter, where they were keeping all the valuables of the shop. Or the personal ones.

Elara went back to the counter where she put the child down, muttering a few reassuring words to him. His ears low and his little face wrinkled in a frown made her sure that he was also hearing the shaking of her worries in her voice. She opened the satchel and he let out a quick, plaintive squeak.

"You're gonna need to stay hidden until Din comes back," she told him, in a tight voice. "And takes you both far away from here…"

The child complied and clumsily stepped back in the satchel by himself. Once settled, Elara put the bag in her own locker, which she opened by quickly typing the code on the numpad.

"It's really important that you stay quiet for a lil' bit, ok?" she told him, her voice soft and stroking the tip of one of his ears. "It's… it's like a game."

A very sick game, according to her, but a game anyway. There was no doubt the child was sharing her opinion since he protested with a long grumpy aaaah, a hand extended to her. She held his hand and stroke it with her thumb.

"I know it's scary," she replied tenderly. "But I'll be just there, by the counter."

And she moved aside from the door to show it to him, a good couple meters by.

"We just have to hang on tight for Din to come back for you…"

Because if those Imps were looking for a Mando, there was no chance that the gossips about this morning’s little show in front of this very shop wouldn’t make their way to them… And then, Elara felt bitter and on the verge of tears to be so eager to see him leave, just so that they’d be out of danger, far from here…

And as though he was suddenly sensitive to her emotion, the child clenched his fingers on hers, letting out a soft sound. She smiled to him, reassuring, and he released her, head low, sitting in the bottom of the satchel flattened around him.

"Hey, tell you what…"

She tapped on the edge of the locker's case before dashing towards the messy shelves from which she pulled a metal box; seeing it, the child let out a happy cry, his eyes wide open. As she had expected, he recognized that box, the one containing Chell’s salty treats!

Elara picked a handful from it which she put with him at the bottom of the bag. The hungry squawking of the child suddenly sounded happier and she felt better for it. He was already swallowing one as Elara took her cap off, the goggles around it, to put it on his head, like an additional hiding spot to the flap and the rest of the bag which she pulled up a bit around him.

"It's gonna be okay, don't worry…"

But, his little mouth full of treats, the child didn’t seem worried anymore. So, Elara pushed the door, enough for the edge to grip with the frame of the locker without really closing, or locking; in case of emergency, it would make their flight easier. She shot a last glance at him through the two horizontal slits cut in the door. But since he looked comfortable, Elara took a slow breath, calmed.

Gathering her mind and all her composure despite the violent beating of her heart, she walked back to the counter, without sitting on the stool; she needed to feel upright on her legs, in touch with the ground, able to react in a split second.

If you feel threatened, always be ready — to fight, or to prove yourself wrong, Crahl had taught her, from the other end of a training blade. And she had no intention to forget that, and especially not now. With a hand, she felt her sore shoulder, willing the pain away, and the other found the handle of an old KYD-21 blaster under the countertop. If the idea of using it on this morning’s bantha brains hadn’t even crossed her mind, now, the thought was overwhelming. And Elara would know how to use her blaster. Crahl had taught her that too.

It only took a tensed dozen minutes for three TIE fighters pilots to appear at the door. When Bokt had told her that Imps were in town, she had imagined it would be Stormtroopers in their white armors, the imperial grunts she had seen so many times making their lazy rounds in all the starports and the cities where she had stopped over with her different crews. But those vac-heads weren’t grunts. Not the same kind anyway…

Their thick black helmets with breathing tubes were sneering and shining with an almost aggressive glare, even between the walls of the shop. One of them stayed at the door with his back turned to the room, watching the street, blaster held clear, while the two others were walking towards the counter with purpose. The one on the right was holding a beeping device in their fist extended to her. Elara was hiding her fear behind a jaded look when she welcomed them, asking:

"What can I do for you, folks?"

"Where is the Mando?" the modulated voice of the pilot facing her asked, terse — he clenched his fingers a bit tighter on the grip of his blaster, as though eager to use it.

It didn’t take much efforts from Elara to look surprised.

"What? What Mando?!"

He turned towards the one holding this kind of detector in their hand; that same one strode towards Elara, almost completely walking around the counter. She wanted to keep them — politely — on the other side of it, to have the three of them in her field of view, and so that the pilot wouldn’t see the blaster within her reach under the counter but Elara’s focus made her more or less mute. Even more so when the device biped even faster once it got pointed towards her. And the lockers on her right. They had a tracker on the kid…

"Affirmative," the pilot with the detector commented, in a woman’s voice.

Then her colleague raised his blaster on Elara who refrained from stepping back.

"Hand over the asset."

"The-what?" Elara replied.

She hadn’t raised her hands and she knew that, soon, this stance would be suspicious, and that the pilot to her left would keep scanning the surroundings, up to the locker… She had to act fast. She took a slow breath and evaluated the threats all around; the pilot with the tracker was the closest to her but she didn’t have her weapon drawn and the one at the door didn’t seem to pay any attention to what was happening inside. Her priority would then be the one holding his blaster in front of her. 'Closer' does not always mean 'more dangerous', even more so when blasters are involved. Something else Crahl had taught her…

Her heart was thumping hard and she felt herself shudder from head to toe when she unclenched her jaw to answer with a vague sign of appeasement from her left hand:

"I-I don't know what you're talking about but… I've been given something this morning…"

The barrel of the blaster aimed at her lowered slightly, tipping off the slackening of her target — she had his attention.

"Maybe that's what you’re looking for?"

She pointed at the counter as if to ask permission to recover what she had been given from it, extending a careful hand. The pilot gestured her to proceed with a brief tilt of his blaster, and Elara closed her fist on the grip of her own. With a quick move, she pulled the weapon from under the counter.

PEW!

With a single blaster bolt at point blank, she pierced the helmet at her aim’s luck, somewhere around the faded paint of the imperial symbol. He fell heavily backwards without a cry, without a noise. Next to her, the pilot was already reacting despite an obvious moment of frozen shock and, dropping the tracker to the ground, she whipped her blaster out. Elara diverted her shot with a hit of her left arm in her weapon hand — PEW CLANG! The bolt hit a crate of scraps stored in the back of the shop.

The pilot at the door understood at that point that something was happening; spinning quickly, he aimed his blaster’s barrel at Elara who was struggling with the other — PEW!

Elara yanked her opponent in the line of fire. The vocoder let out a crackling yelp when the bolt sparkled as it hit somewhere on her body which stiffened and sagged in her arms. Elara tried a shot towards the pilot who dodged it easily, firing again at her when she found herself forced to let the pilot’s body collapse, weighting too much on her arms. Elara dropped behind the counter but regretted that choice right away; she had to hide elsewhere, lure that Imp as far as possible from the child. To spare him a stray bolt, if not to keep his position secret.

Firmly holding onto her blaster, she waited crouching there, watching the approaching long strides of the pilot thanks to his reflection on the glass of display cases, on the wall behind the counter. She couldn’t take the shot, her error ratio would be too high. And all she wanted was to drag him away from the locker, and the child, without risking a stray shot.

The tip of his boot had barely appeared at the end of the counter after he walked over the body of the pilot and Elara rushed on him, grasping him around the waist to tackle him to the ground. He groaned when the back of his helmet hit the floor in a hollow thud and his blaster jumped from his hands, sliding on the tiles until stopping under the lev-loader.

Immediately, Elara tried to get back up but the gloved grasp of the pilot brought her back to the floor with him. She aimed her weapon’s barrel at him and he released her to clasp both his hands on hers to pry it from her. She held on but with a punch, he managed to make her drop it. Elara swayed and slouched to the side, hearing the clattering of the blaster, somewhere on the shop’s floor.

She straightened up to rush towards the pilot’s blaster that she could see under the loader but with a kick in the stomach, he sent her back to the ground, knocking her breath out. Sight blurred and breath painful, she still got up, staggering, at the slow sound of something metallic being pulled from the lev-loader’s pile. He was holding a big scrap hammer, the kind with which Chell had taught her to fix bent and dented metal sheets.

All her body throbbing with pain and anger, Elara was ready to take him on with her bare hands. She’d recover that blaster from the ground, no matter where she had dropped her own, and would get rid of that vac-head; she’d know where to hide in Barjuun, or even on Zar-Oda. There were unsuspected places around here, ranging from the underground tunnel network and empty buildings to the caves on the beach… And she had no doubt about Din’s bounty hunter skills. He’d know how to track and find them wherever she’d chose to take the both of them.

The pilot attacked first, with a vague grumble that sounded like a curse. Elara parried with her two hands on his wrist, tried to make him lower his arms with a hit in his legs but he thrust his helmet at her. To hold him back, she released his wrist to slam her two hands on his threatening visor, and he made another swing of his hammer which she dodged, jumping backwards.

She rushed at him again, taking advantage of his momentum to attack him on the side, grabbing one of the helmet’s breathing tube but, with a hit of his elbow in her arm, he made her let go of it. She jumped backwards again and, eyeing a crate full of metallic parts, she pushed it with her foot in the pilot’s legs as he strode again towards her, hammer raised.

Elara mentally thanked Chell to always be so slow to sort his deliveries. Today, it had come in handy!

The pilot almost tumbled over but managed to keep his footing, which was just enough time for Elara to hurry to the lev-loader. She picked a short rebar, about her arm’s length; that wouldn’t stand much against a hammer, but all she needed was one well aimed strike. With an agile swing, she hit in the pilot’s shoulder pad, then his helmet. The hollow sound was shortly followed by a furious grunt as he staggered on his legs, holding the hammer with both hands.

Unsteadied and with his focus lost, Elara could rush. Ignoring her exhaustion, her pain, and fear, she slammed him with her whole bodyweight to knock him to the ground but he held on, catching her by the edge of her jacket, clutching the leather so tightly she couldn’t have weaselled out of it. He wound his arm up, hand holding the hammer and Elara threw her leg against him, hitting with her sole in the soft part of his armor, on the abdomen. Stepping back clumsily under the shock, the pilot threw the hammer at her; she only had the time to round her back to take the violence of the impact.

A searing pain shot from her ribs to her head, taking her breath away and making her shake on her legs. The rebar slid from her hands and, with hazy moves, her fingers shaking and palms sweaty, sight blurred by tears of pain, she pated around her left side. But the slightest move was for her like another hammer blow, and her knees gave way under her weight.

Her heels knocked against more crates and she fell with her back to the wall, in a high-pitched whine. When she reopened her eyes, she could only see the pilot walking towards her, triumphant. He let the hammer clatter to the ground with a modulated snicker. No matter the pain, she’d keep fighting.

"I'm gonna kill you slow," he threatened her, satisfied. "I want to see you die…"

She managed to push aside his hands when he tried to reach for her throat, gave a few weak kicks, chocking of what little air she could breathe in. She coughed… and he coughed too. He coughed again and, through the overwhelming pain radiating across her entire body and making stars shine before her eyes, Elara managed to make out the shape of the pilot bringing his two hands to his own throat.

With panicking moves, he unsealed his helmet which fell in his back, only held by the tubes connected to his chestplate. She read fear in his bulging eyes, anger and incomprehension. To be honest, Elara didn’t really understand either. The whole room was spinning and swaying in her mind ringing with pain, and even the pilot seemed to hover in front of her, his hands still at his throat. He gargled sounds and was shaking his legs in the air as if raised by the powerful hand of an invisible giant. And he watched her with horror and fury, as if she was responsible for it.

Movement by the locker caught what was left of her ability to focus, and she made out the child, standing under the goggles-adorned cap that made him look funny in the frame of the case whose door had been pushed open; his two small hands extended towards the pilot, he seemed to be in full effort.

Elara let out a whine, unsure as to what she was even trying to express. Maybe she was only imagining that, maybe it was how her mind was processing the sudden and overwhelming pain with which it was attacked…

In front of her, the pilot had stopped kicking, and one of his arms fell limp at his side, the fingers from his hand agitated with brief jerks. Deep in his focus, the child lowered his ears and the cap slid over his squinted eyes.

Right away, the pilot’s body collapsed, heavy to the ground. In his fall, he slammed against the edge of the lev-loader which pitched, shaking all its contents, a part of which tumbled and slid to the floor, and against the pilot’s body, now unmoving on the coarse tiles.

Elara took a slow, wheezing breath. In the locker, the child fumbled with the cap, raising it from his eyes; he blinked and so did Elara, pushing the pent-up tears of pain away.

"Doo…" she heard him whimper as he flopped down seated in the locker, looking stunned and the cap covering his eyes again.

Dazed and not really sure of what she had just witnessed, Elara tried to move, to go to him, but the overpowering pain which shot through her whole body nailed her down, breathless, blood thumping in her temples at the rhythm of the hard pulses of her heart and the device, on the ground.

No trace of a warship in the immediate vicinity of the planet. Din then had got back to the spaceport where he landed the Crest in the hangar which had been kept free for him. Up there, he had seen no entry or exit from the planet anyway. So he wouldn't lose any more time — he had to get the child back… and leave. Using his jetpack yet again from the hangar with the promise from Nirhee that she would patch up the more pressing damage, he flew to the town.

This time, he would make an effort to be more discreet and wouldn't just land right in the middle of the street. But closing in, fast, to the town's gate, the sight of three TIE fighters carelessly landed and in complete disregard of the local traffic shook him to the point of making his flight wobbly. Another squadron had been deployed, and maybe Gideon had come down in person this time again ! With a swift move of an arm and a leg, Din corrected his balance, and sticking his arms by his side, he pushed his speed up. To hell with being discreet; he would touch down in the street. It would only give him a few seconds more. But a few seconds could change everything.

And this time again, he set foot in front of the shop where his heavy landing got a few passers-by yelping in surprise. Still wobbly to get back on the ground, Din hurried himself in one same move to the shop's front door, jostling a onlooker who protested. But he didn't stop and, blaster in hand, he strode in; Elara and the kid were nowhere to be seen and two bodies — those of TIE pilots — were sprawled on the floor between the counter and a pile of crates, heavy silence only disrupted by the regular bleep of a tracking fob. Of course, they had tracking fobs!

Breath short and jaw clenched, Din stomped towards the fob and picked it up. If this thing was bleeping, then the kid was still here, close. A third pilote was on the ground on a bed of spilled and scattered metal scraps, his helmet off. And, a few steps farther, back to the wall and slouched against a crate, he found Elara. She wasn't moving anymore, and he hurried to her side, holstering blaster and fob.

"No, no… Ela!" he cried out, his voice shaking.

He had made her suffer the same fate as Kuiil… He put a hand on her neck behind her head; even through his thick gloves, he could feel the warmth of her skin, almost feverish, despite her face being pallid. Din's relief was brief; she was obviously wounded even if he couldn't see where exactly. She let out a light groan as she opened her eyes, and tried to twist his wrist, to push him and the threat away with a weak hand. But she only found his vambrace. She clung onto it, wheezing and her forehead beaded with sweat. He was guessing in how much pain she was.

"D-Din…" she stammered.

He kept his hand on her neck.

"Where are you hurt?"

He managed to keep his voice as soft as possible in spite of his own anxiety. And, with his other hand, he felt under her jacket. When his fingers found her ribs in her back, she flinched and held back a whimper behind gritted teeth.

"Your ribs are broken…"

It was an assessment as much as he was warning her. And seeing the hammer's head peeking from under the third pilot's dead body, he had a fair idea of what caused this.

"Th-the child… he…"

Her breath quivered and he held her up.

"Where is he ?!"

Another kind of anxiety added itself to the pile.

"He's safe, he… did…"

A sob that changed into a weak gasp shook her. He held her tighter with an arm around her to help her on her feet. She knotted an arm around his neck.

"Come on, we have to leave this planet…"

He couldn't leave her here. And he didn't want to either. Painfully, she got up with his help and, with a shaking hand, she gestured to the locker. His attention caught by one wide open door, Din got a glimpse of the satchel's fabric and the shape of the child, curled up in Elara's cap. If he was that tired all of a sudden, Din guessed that he had to intervene, that he had helped her… Stifling a breath in, he supported Elara's walk to the locker against which she leaned, breathing a little better now that she was up.

"C'mon, kid, let's go," Din whispered.

He gathered the sides and the flap of the bag around him to extract it from the locker and hang it to his shoulder.

"W-wait," Elara muttered, delving her hand deeper in the locker. "We can't leave… w-without this…"

She recovered several datasticks, two holos and a leather pouch in which she peeked quickly; it contained currencies of all values and a datachip. And she put all this in the bag with the child, still nested in the cap. Neither of them talked as they walked across the shop, stepping over the bodies without looking back.

"What the kriff happened here ?!"

This alien, her colleague, was standing against the light in the big doorframe.

"The neighbours came to tell me there was some ruckus here but…"

He trailed off as Din, still holding Elara against him with an arm, was going through the door.

"Elak, wh… what's wrong ?!"

"I'm… fine, Chell," Din heard her whisper, too low for his colleague to catch any of it.

"Hey, what did you do to her ?!" he shouted.

But Din couldn't loose any more time in explanations; they still would have to walk to the town's gate and hope for a landspeeder to get back to the spaceport. So, he continued walking, Elara held tight against him.

"Where are you taking her ?! HEY!!?"

Going back to the city’s entrance had been the longest, walking too slow and drawing too much attention, all while avoiding the militia. Elara was suffering in silence, guiding them from street to street and through some nifty shortcuts but Din could see her shake even though she had assured him she could walk on her own, forehead covered in sweat and her face pallid.

At the gate, luck had finally shone on them; despite the fuss the TIEs had caused not too far, several landspeeders were waiting and one of the drivers was an acquaintance of Elara’s through someone she had named Bokt. And this familiarity had offered them a free ride to the spaceport. There, they reached bay 26 as fast as possible where Nirhee had started — and finished — some of the repairs within her abilities on the Crest.

"Hey, you're gonna pay for the additional work, right?!" the mechanic protested as Din was helping Elara towards the ship’s ramp.

"I gave you the last of my credits," Din replied, his tone firm — they were too much in a hurry for debate.

"Yeah, right, but eeeer, it's still work, you see? And we even kept the hangar clear for you, just now and, eeerrr…"

Din was about to reply when he heard Elara stifle a groan when she leaned towards the bag where the child was moving again, wide awake. She put a heavy knee to the ground and searched in the pouch from which she pulled a few imperial credits. She put them in Din’s hand, with which she helped herself back up.

"Is that enough?" she then asked, breath short.

"What?!" the mechanic bleated, with a perplexed frown. "You make your… your bounty pay for your expenses?!"

Neither Din, nor Elara bothered to correct him. He could feel her weight more and more on his arm which she was still holding onto.

"What did you do to her anyway?!" the mechanic insisted.

Then, talking directly to Elara as he gestured towards her:

"Are you ok, girl?!"

She nodded with a wince, and if the mechanic added anything other than nervous and unclear gibberish, Din didn’t pay any more attention to it, taking Elara up to the ship’s hatch and activating its closing. He walked her to the large footlocker of hardware on which he let her sit. She had a brief gasp of pain and leaned back carefully against the bulkhead behind her.

"How are you feeling?" he inquired, taking himself out of the satchel's strap to put it gently aside on the ground.

"I'm fine," she answered, her voice kinda hoarsy and her gaze unfocused. "I'm… okay."

"You need a medcent—"

"No," she cut him short, wincing. "No, it's nothing…"

Din wasn’t really sure about that, but he let it go for now. He would keep an eye on her and would stop at the slightest sign of complication.

"Sit tight, I'm gonna get us off the ground."

She nodded in silence, her attention turned towards the child, out of the satchel, who had waddled up to their legs. Din went to make a supportive gesture towards her but he held back and took his jetpack off instead, before striding to the ladder to return to the cockpit. He had left the tracker there, on the dashboard, and Din pocketed it as he sat down.

With quick fingers, he flipped up the switches on the left hand vertical pane and unlocked the reactor’s safeties on the overhead switch panel, and the Crest shook, ready to take off. Preparing the thrusters and putting both hands on the controls, Din made them leave the hangar without a bump.

The spaceport, then Barjuun, shrank through the viewport, and soon, they left Zar-Oda’s atmosphere. Din kept an eye on his scanner’s screen but also on the black space around them. No trace of other TIEs, or the warship. Either way, Din wouldn’t wait any longer; he expected that the absence of report from the squad sent on ground wouldn’t be interpreted as good news.

He pushed speed up and typed quickly on his keyboard to compute a destination, any destination, opposite from Ontellar. Outside, still no trace of enemy crafts.

BLEEP — the navicomputer was now displaying a course which connected with a big hyperlane a few hours from here. It would be enough to find a place to get rid of this tracker.

Escaping a planet’s gravity well never felt so long and, as soon as his screen displayed that the threshold was passed, Din pushed the throttle and made the Crest jump in hyperspace. The vortex of misty light gave him a sudden feel of calm and safety which he enjoyed while taking a long breath, eyes closed. The tracker’s signal wouldn’t be picked up by the warship again as long as they’d be in hyperspace; for now, they were free of worries about it.

But Din didn’t take the time to enjoy this any longer, swivelling his seat and jumping out of the cockpit to go back down into the hold, ignoring most of the ladder’s rungs. At the bottom, the child was trying to get on the crate where Elara had laid down on her stomach, in a sort of comfortable position to spare her ribs in her back, a knee on the ground and an arm dangling to the floor, her forehead resting on her other arm circling her jacket like some kind of pillow. Asleep, her breathing was still labored but smoother than a moment before. And also less wheezing.

Din crouched by the crate and helped the child to complete his delicate climb with a push of his palm under his little clawed feet. He let out a short happy quaver before waddling up to Elara’s side.

"Don't wake her up," he commanded, firm but not scolding.

She needed to rest after sustaining such an injury. And that, in addition to the exhaustion from the fight she had to carry against the three pilots to get there, added to the one from this morning… But the child was already reaching for Elara’s back with both his hands, his eyes squinted in expectation of the effort he was about to give. His little fingers found the fabric of her clothes, sinking in the material and Din held his breath, tensed but watchful. He could guess what the child was about to do — he wanted to heal her the way he had done for Karga on the lava flats of Nevarro.

Could his power also work on internal injuries such as Elara’s? After all, he had also removed the reptavians’ poison from the wound, so…

Curious and hopeful, Din let him. Under the rush of his power, Elara let out a weak, grumpy whimper. The little one was shaking without a sound and Din refrained from making a move, even to support him, enthralled to see at work once more this magic he knew nothing about. Then, the child released his focus suddenly and sagged, sitting, with a little tired sound.

Still without waking up, Elara took a slow and deep breath, relieved. The child, on the other hand, huddled against her now healed side with a little plaintive squeak, ears low and his big eyes blinking before keeping them closed. In his turn, Din released his breath and his shoulders slumped a little under the weight of his thoughts and confused emotions. He was realizing how essential it was to this child to find someone that would understand his needs and his powers, help him the way he had to be.

He watched them both for a thoughtful minute then, he stood up to take a folded blanket from the straps in his bunk and came back to cover them with it. Din stroke Elara’s shoulder with a light hand and tucked the blanket around the small shape of the child who was breathing as deeply as he was asleep.

"Get some rest too, kid…" he told him softly. "We're gonna find you a Jedi to help you through this."

Neither the child, nor Elara woke up to the sound of his voice, and Din would let them sleep as long as they'd need; he stood up and went back to the cockpit.

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