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immortalcockroach · 6 years

Note

Can I request a Zaven AU in modern time sort of a continuation of the last where he was going off to the Air Force again? Only this time him and raven have another kid and now they struggle a bit because they have a newborn and like a 5 year old with Miles or something like that? I know it’s a bit specific but anything along those lines would be awesome and please let your imagination run wild! ✨ love this acc

thank you, and sorry for the long wait!! i hope this is good enough to make up for it.

THE PROMISES WE KEEP

summary: For the first three months, they are a perfect little family.

Again, it begins with a letter.

pairing: Raven x Shaw

words: 2,051

part one

read on AO3

Sitting on the floor of Clarke Griffin-Blake’s living room, watching Miles and Aurora play with toys and swords and cars, Raven wonders how has her life come to this.

When Zeke went to the Air Force, she had a horrible time without him. Miles missed him, she missed him, too, and the six months was more excruciating than the years between leaving Finn and finding Zeke. With Finn, she never knew what a good, healthy and loving relationship meant, and once she discovered that with Zeke, being without that hurt so much more.

But Raven and Miles got through it. She met Clarke, who was Miller’s doctor when he got shot during a robbery, and had a little girl Miles’s age. She introduced Clarke and her husband, Bellamy, to her friends, and everyone seemed to click, even if the two were couple of years older than everyone else. They met Octavia and Lincoln through Bellamy, and Miller knew Roan and Echo from work, and somehow they ended up being more of a massive friendship group than just a few people hanging out.

Even more, if you include the kids.

Because of this, Raven wasn’t alone like the last time. She and Clarke got along better than anyone else she knows, and it helped to have someone who doesn’t pretend she can understand what Raven’s going through.

But Clarke understood loss – she understood the fear of never seeing someone again, and she understood the nights when Raven would wake up, expecting a visit from the military to tell her Zeke didn’t make it.

“Raven.”

Clarke sits down and places two small glasses on the table, filled with something that definitely wasn’t coffee. Her face is part amused, part worried, but wholly determined.

“What’s this?”

“Liquid courage,” Clarke says. “Zeke’s coming back in two weeks. I figured you could use some.”

Raven smiles, hardly believing what she sees and hears. She’s far from surprised, though – her best friend knows how to deal with any sort of problem.

She takes the glass in her hand and Clarke does the same, until they bring them together.

“To our kids?” Raven tries.

“And our men.”

“Cheers.” She takes a sip and is startled by the bitter taste, coughing a little. “I thought there’s a wine mom and a vodka aunt.”

Clarke laughs and downs her shot of vodka, hardly flinching. “Everyone’s secretly a vodka person.”

“Cheers to that,” Raven says, and finishes her shot.

The next two week pass by just like the previous five and a half months – awfully, dreadfully slowly. Raven spends it with Clarke, or her friends, and even Miles is sensing something big is about to come. He knows Zeke’s coming back, she’s told him as much, but it’s not the same as for her.

For Raven, nobody has ever come back. Zeke promised he would and despite everything in her screaming against it, she believed him.

Longer than three weeks – that’s how long it’s been since she last heard from him. Still, she doesn’t let herself give that any importance. His side of the bed is empty, but she lets herself think come tomorrow, it won’t be. She closes her eyes and pictures him lying there, eyes closed as he sleeps – finally with her, finally at peace.

He bid his goodbyes. Now, it’s time for him to come back to her.

“Tomorrow,” she whispers. Her hand travels to the other half of the bed, feeling how cold it is. “Tomorrow, you come back.”

Only, he doesn’t. He comes back two days later and surprises her at work, pulling her into the tightest hug she’s ever been in. He smells like sweat and metal and planes, but when he kisses her, all she can taste is Zeke. Her hands are wrapped around him and his are around her, and she doesn’t even care that her customers are waiting and complaining.

When they part, he kisses her, softly. His lips are warm and there is a week’s worth of stubble on his jaw and she loves him, oh God how she loves him—

Their foreheads are leaning against each other; everything is quiet. She can hear some birds, outside, and kids laughing while waiting for their parents to pick them up at the nearby kindergarten, but it all blends together. Around her, the only sounds are their heartbeats.

“You came back,” she whispers. “You came back.”

Zeke pulls her closer, wiping the tears on her face while ignoring his own. “I gave you a promise.”

She laughs; god, she laughs. It feels as if she hasn’t done that since she found out that he’s really leaving. “Yes, you did.”

He lets go of her, and she’s wondering what he’s doing – when he gets down on one knee and she remembers the second part of his promise.

The way he looks at her – she was never everything in someone’s eyes. But for Zeke, there’s so much adoration shamelessly displayed all over his face that breath hitches in her throat. He looks at her as if he didn’t think he would see her again, as if he’s seeing her for the first time, as if he’s trying to savour every moment and map every single tiny freckle on her.

From the pocket on his jacket, he pulls out a tiny box and opens it.

“Oh my god,” she says.

“Raven.”

“That’s a ring.”

“Will you—”

“YES! Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!”

She leaps into his arms and doesn’t even think about the ring. She’s ehre, with the man she loves, and he loves her back enough to tell her he wants to spend the rest of his life with her and prove it. When you have that, who gives a shit about a tiny piece of metal on your finger?

The marriage is supposed to take place about a year later, at first, but when they’re six months back to normal and Raven’s pregnancy test comes back positive, there’s only one thing they can do. They get married when she’s six months pregnant and it’s a ceremony with their friends and Zeke’s massive family. No one comes for Raven, but it’s fine – everyone who matters is here, anyway.

Little Henry is born about a week early, into a family of three and about several dozen other people he could call parents and a bunch of siblings by circumstance. Aurora, Jordan, and Miles adore the little boy, and so does Octavia’s little girl, bare months older than him.

Still, no one adores him more than his father. Zeke holds him when he’s crying, when he’s happy, when he’s hungry or tired or scared – he doesn’t let go of Henry.

For the first three months, they are a perfect little family.

Again, it begins with a letter.

It arrives before he’s home from a visit to the Blakes with the kids, so she faces it alone. She doesn’t open the envelope. Still, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what a letter to Lieutenant Ezekiel Shaw from Colonel Charmaine Diyoza could say.

Raven leaves it on the counter. When he comes home, he sees it and looks at her.

She looks away. “We’ll talk about it when the kids are asleep.”

And so they do. It’s late at night, both Miles and Henry sound asleep, the best they can be. Both young parents are trying to catch a breath from dealing with the children, in the comfort of their own bed, but to Raven it feels like a hostile environment.

The memory of his side of the bed being empty is still fresh. She couldn’t bear to have it empty again.

“I didn’t know,” he begins. “When I left, I told her I’m done.”

“Obviously she didn’t get the memo.”

“She did. It’s just…” His hand finds her and he takes it, softly as he can. She fights the urge to take it out. “She says I’m one of her best. That she could really use my help mediating the team.”

“What, is McCreary not enough?”

Zeke chuckles. It’s a dry laugh, one that pains her more than silence. “You know him better than to say that.”

“I thought I knew you, too.”

“Raven.” He says her name softly, as if he’s begging. He tugs at her hand, just a little bit, until she looks at him. “I’m not going.”

“She needs you. She needed you the last time, too.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

Raven wants to bite back the words. She bites on her lips, not wanting to say it, but she does. “This time.”

And it hurts.

His thumb stops massaging her palm and he gulps, staring at her wordlessly. “Please tell me you don’t believe that.”

Looking at him hurts. She can’t deny it.

“Raven, for the love of God, I—I love you. I gave you a promise that I’m not leaving and I’m intent on keeping it. One letter from—”

“Zeke, I don’t blame you.” The words hurt because she means it. “I can’t blame you for doing what you believe is right and for fighting for it.”

“No, Raven, look at me. You’ve got this the wrong way around. I’m fighting for us. I don’t want—” He pinches the bridge of his nose, that much she can see frmo the corner of her eyes. “Fuck wars. I belong here, not in the battlefield. I needed to go the last tour because that’s what I needed to confirm for myself. I needed to make sure I wasn’t just running away, being with you. I needed to know that’s what’s right for me.”

He holds her hand and does the same thing as before. When she looks at him, his cheeks are glistening and his eyes are red. “I love you. And I chose you, and I’d do it over and over again.”

Raven stays quiet.

“Rae, I have you. I have Henry and I have Miles. I have all of our friends. I have our little place, I have our own little lives. When I’m here, the battlefield disappears. When I’m on the battlefield, none of this disappears. I know my priorities. I do. And right now, and for the rest of my life, my priority is staying with you. With my family.”

One tear escapes and rolls down her cheek. She still can’t look at him.

“I don’t need to be a hero to someone who doesn’t care about me more than just a number. I’ve done my part. Now, I have two little boys who look at me and I see how much they try to be like me. I have two little boys who need me to be their hero, one that they can see. They’re more important than a nation. I couldn’t leave them, and I couldn’t leave you, either.”

She finally looks at him. His face is broken and genuine, and eyes stretched wide in fear that she doesn’t understand what he’s telling her – that she still thinks he’s going to leave.

Her lips tremble. “I can’t lose you again.”

Zeke exhales, eyes fluttering as he closes them for a second or two. He then wraps his arms around her and pulls her close, her head against his chest. “No,” he says. “I’m here. You’re stuck with me.”

“Promise.”

“I promise. And I’ll promise you every day, if that’s what it takes.”

“I love you,” Raven whispers.

He runs a hand through her hair and something wet drips on the top of it. “I love you too, Rae, and God help me, I’ll love you for the rest of my life. No war is going to take you away from me.”

“I know,” she says, because she does.

She believes him.

He kisses the top of her head. “No warrior on the field compares to you. There’s no one I look up to more than you. You’re—” He stumbles over his words. “You’re all I could ever ask for.”

“I know.”

“Do you trust me?”

She gulps. “Yes.”

And she does, for the rest of their lives. She trusts him.

#Anonymous #the 100 #zaven #the 100 fanfiction #zaven fic #raven reyes #zeke shaw #miles shaw #miles ezekiel shaw #clarke griffin #the 100 fic #zaven fanfiction #my fic

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sanctumslider · 6 years

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The 100 Fic: Take My Name, I Offer My Soul

[A03] [ff.net]

The giving and taking of names for five relationships as each one begins; Memori, Marper, Mackson, Zaven and Bellarke. This story is meant to be read as a whole, but the sections can standalone as well, and are written in order.

~Mars~

What’s in a name?

What’s in a name, but a collection of letters, a jumble of sounds marking you as unique.

But there is power in a name.

In the naming, you can give something power. In the naming, you can take power away.

Your name can become you.

Or you can become your name.

Outsider.

Cockroach.

Traitor.

Thief.

Freak.

Murderer.

Tainted.

A name can burn you, a brand upon your skin. It can overcome you, until it is all that defines you. Until you’re sick of fighting it, tooth and nail, to be something more. Until you resign to it, until you accept it, and follow where it leads you.

But sometimes, rarely, impossibly… you find someone with the same names as you. With the same twisted brands upon their skin.

And you see that your names, the names those people gave you, the names they gave her… they were true yes, but they didn’t have to define you.

Sometimes a fire can burn brightly enough to cleanse those old names away, can kindle a passion you hadn’t thought yourself capable of. Sometimes you can find something, someone to fight for.

“John.”

His name sparked off her tongue, in a way that was always so unique.

His mom had used that name in disgust, in anger, hanging like ash in her mouth.

Jaha had used it too heavily, too purposefully, a suffocating weight trying to snuff him out.

The others used his second name… Murphy… and since he met her, since he had started to find a new path, he thought they might use it with fondness, friendship… even with the love of a family.

But when she named him… in joy or anger or passion or fear… it set fire to the space between them, and when he used hers…

“Emori.”

…it closed a circle. Together they burned hot and fast, as jumping sparks set alight to dry kindling. They were a constant chaos, and sometimes they burned so brightly that one of them would get hurt.

But they would always be drawn back to each other, pulled to the heat, lips hot like molten gold, blood burning, souls on fire.

~Venus~

Sometimes it comes upon you slowly, steadily, quietly. Sometimes it creeps up from beneath your feet as softly as the whispering trees. Sometimes you think you’re looking for fire when really, you’re looking for something, for someone to ground you.

She would never have thought at the beginning, when everything was new and exciting, that she would have ended up here. When she jumped from the gangway of the Drop Ship and her boots first sunk into the dark, loamy soil, how could she have imagined being where she stood today?

She thought she was in it for the fight, for the rush and the adrenaline and the blink of an eye.

Until she was buried beneath a mountain, and all she wanted was more time.

And he gave it to her. He brought her back from the brink more than once, with a promise of a future. He gave her life, and hope. In a dying world of bloodshed and anger, he believed there could be something better, something more. If only they had the patience to wait, and watch it grow.

“Harper Green, my wife.”

They couldn’t marry, not really, but when you’re the only two people standing, you can make the rules.

“Monty Green, my husband.”

In each other’s names, they found home. They found a life. They found time. Moments of quiet, moments of tears, moments of laughter. Moments of everything a full life should hold.

And with the moments, built each upon the next, with time ticking on as steadily as dawn and dusk on their old world below…

“Jordan Jasper Green, our son.”

So came one last name, born in the same sky as his parents, gifted with a life and a legacy and a potential.

And time kept ticking, slowly, steadily. Each day one more rotation of orbit, each day perfect in its banality, each day breathing in the life of the ones she loved.

It wasn’t what she had pictured, when she met him in the middle of a ramshackle camp in a forest. It wasn’t what he had expected, when he came to know her buried deep beneath the ground.

But they wouldn’t change it for all world, their little life lived long in the shadow of a dying Earth.

~Mercury~

In the deep and the dark and the cold, you start to forget who you are. You’re swept away, gasping, drowning in a tidal wave of hate, selfishness and anger.

Survival is paramount.

All else is secondary.

But then how do you stay sane? No one can drown forever and not die.

You grasp hold of something. You take hold with all your strength, anchor yourself against the raging currents that threaten to rend you apart.

One person will sink, claimed by the depths of despair.

Two people will kick and struggle and fight, help each other stay afloat amidst the chaos of a world that makes no sense. When you get tired, you know he won’t let you go.

It creates a love and a loyalty like no other, limitless as the ocean.

And there’s no one to tell you not to get swept away so fast. No one to tell you to think, to hold back, to be careful of getting hurt.

So you give yourself over completely, you trust in him utterly to keep you safe, to keep you sane as you will do for him. You love him with a furious determination, and he loves you with an unending certainty.

“Nate”

A name spoken in a whisper of a breath with questioning eyes. A careful and rare name, reserved. His other names, Miller… Nathan… he gave them freely to people who knew him, to people who cared for him, who laughed with him, who fought with him and watched his back.

But that one syllable, a trickle off the tongue, that name is for the people who love him. Because that’s all his love needs. It doesn’t need lots of words, to be drowned in declarations or complications. It just needs to be returned with as much as is given.

“Jax.”

It was an accidental name, a new name, not one he had owned before.

It wasn’t Eric, the name he had never felt he belonged to. The name that died on the lips of his mother, and sometimes came to life on the tongues of those like Kane who had known him as a child.

And it wasn’t Jackson, Doctor Jackson, the name he grew into, the name he used as a shield.

It was Nate’s. Vulnerable and open and honest and theirs.

They belonged to each other, standing fast against the sucking eddies and undercurrents that tugged coldly at their legs.

They wouldn’t drown. They would hold on tight. They would kick and struggle and keep each other afloat, even in the moments when it would be so easy to just sink, sink down to the depths and let the cold fill their lungs.

Waiting until the day the bunker opened, life could flood in, and their heads could finally break above the water.

~Jupiter~

You don’t know you’re in a cage until you see someone who’s free.

Boundless, intangible, ethereal.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt like this, met someone like her. It had been so long ago, maybe he never had.

He didn’t know why he wanted to help her. He shouldn’t. She was the other, the unknown.

But she was also a hurricane, soaring, mind quick as lightning and just as deadly.

How could he be anything but pulled towards her? When she was everything he had wanted to be, back then at the beginning, before he had made his choice and doomed his crew.

His first mistake was to try to catch her, to pull her down, as if she was a little bird in need of protection.

He quickly learnt how wrong that was, how impossible. As unpredictable and changeable as dry autumn leaves whipped up into a dance, she caught him.

“Raven.”

Her name heralded her storm, her strength. From the moment he saw that bird shining through her code on his monitor, he knew something was going to change. Something was going to be different, this time.

And when her cool lips caught his in the darkest part of the night, he knew he would follow her anywhere.

Even if that meant pushing through the blood and the screams, even if it meant teetering on the brink of death. As long as he could fly by her side.

“Zeke”

She said the name for the first time with a wicked grin and a whispering breath, fingers dancing lightly over the middle name Ezekiel on the monitor, next to where he would lie down to sleep. Her lips brushed his, a ghosting promise.

He would leave Miles behind on the tongues of loved ones long dead. He would keep Shaw, for the people he still wasn’t sure he could trust. But this new name, she claimed it. For the new him, for the new future.

And when they woke, he couldn’t wait to be free. To be free with her and follow her at the slightest changes in the wind.

~Sol~

What’s in a name?

A name is taken. A name is offered. It is so much more than the sum of its parts.

A name can be simple, but it can be said in so many ways that each time it’s different.

A name can be a lingering shadow.

Wanheda.

A name can be a responsibility.

Big Brother.

And sometimes names can be bigger than themselves, they can stretch beyond their bounds and become a reflection of one another.

The Princess and the King.

Names can cause friction, they can force you down a path you didn’t want to tread, down a path you can’t be followed.

From the moment you say a name, it can be a fight, it can be a plea. It can be a million questions and answers and thoughts spilling out into the stars.

Sometimes you can own too many names, sometimes you can be trapped by one.

Sometimes you can take a name for granted, believing that with every sunrise and sunset, it will always be there to roll off your tongue with a grin or a frown, a whisper or a shout.

Until the day it’s not.

Until the day it’s not there to be said, for over two thousand sunrises, for over two thousand sunsets.

And you realise just how much you had come to rely on it, that name that was one half of your own. One half of your soul.

But when you finally get to say the name again, it trips on your tongue. It gets stuck, tumbling out without the hidden words that need to be said. And then you’re pulled away with a hundred names and responsibilities and fears that you simply can’t do it.

It never seems to come. It always seems like there’s one more disaster, one more horror, one more way to scream their name without saying the words.

Because your names aren’t fire. They aren’t quick to kindle, crackling with heat and passion and urgency.

They aren’t earth, able to grow old in wisdom and in peace.

They’re not water, swept away by a raging flood into a limitless ocean.

And they’re not wind, whipping and turning and wheeling with a boundless freedom.

Your names are precious, they are powerful, they are unique. They shine brighter than only one of you can contain.

And they needed time. They needed to leave the old world, the old sun and constellations behind. They needed to find a second beginning.

“Clarke.”

He had said her name more times than he could remember, than she could count. But this time it was new, it was different. It held a meaning it hadn’t held before.

“Bellamy.”

It shone in her smile, in her eyes, so bright and blinding and perfect.

Two names, so much more powerful than one, sealed with a kiss on their new world, in the stretching shadows cast long by twin suns.

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the-most-beautiful-broom · 6 years

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the red comes with it

post 5x07 zaven fic for all your angst + comfort needs

“Don’t.”

Zeke says it without opening his eyes, without turning over his shoulder to look at her, and Raven’s step slows.

For a moment, she wonders how he recognized her footstep, then realizes that the limp is probably as good a giveaway as any. But since he knows it’s her, she resumes, stepping around to the other side of the pew in the church, hesitating for a moment before lowering herself next to him.

Not next to next to him, just next to.

He still slides away.

Even as he grimaces with the movement, his breath catching in a hiss as broken ribs and broken skin protest, he moves away from her.

Raven’s hands clench and she doesn’t realize what a stupid thing that is to do, until Zeke looks over at the sound of water hitting the floor, her balled fists wringing the water out of the damp towel she’d brought over.

“Um,” she mutters, wishing she’d paid a little more attention when Clarke did things like this, “here.”

But when she moves to offer him the towel, the motion stilted and sudden, he flinches.

Guilt washes over Raven, wave after wave of it ramming into her.

Maybe she hadn’t had a choice and maybe it was his well-being versus her friends’ lives. But maybe she could’ve done something more, could’ve defied Echo, could’ve faked like she was locked out. If she’d have thought faster, been quicker, then maybe they wouldn’t be here now. His blood wouldn’t be seeping into the pew and she wouldn’t have to think about how his every shaky breath hurt because of her.

The water drips onto the pew, but Zeke doesn’t move.

Raven steels herself, then properly looks over at him.

His nose is broken. Pretty emphatically, too, and his lip is busted completely. The blood has dried around his mouth, cracked under his nose from every time he winces. There are massive welts on his cheekbones and Raven feels sick because those marks weren’t made by fists. She can see the outline of the unforgiving ends of rifles, battered up his cheeks and over one of his ears. His eyes are almost swollen shut, and she watches his lashes flutter as he realizes she’s studying him.

“Admiring your handiwork?”

He asks it in a voice that she doesn’t recognize, raw and grating, like he held back sounds for a while and now his throat has to remember how to let words pass through it.

Raven’s arm wavers with the weight of the towel, and she looks away sharply. Her first instinct is to think that she doesn’t deserve that, but then it settles that she really does.

read on ao3

#the 100 spoilers #zaven #zaven fic #zeke shaw #raven reyes #lindsay writes #why cant i ever finish/publish something at a decent hour #3am is apparently my writer happy place #which is fine except none of yall are awake and also i have to wake up at 7 #anyways i digress; you should read this fic; it’s what i needed after the ep

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chants-de-lune · 6 years

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Can you do a Zaven!parents Au? I miss Zaven and I’m a fool for domestic fluffiness😊

I just spent 3 weeks with a 3-month old, so that’s what you’re getting

“I’m home,” Raven called in a sing-song voice as she opened the door and kicked off her shoes. The exhaustion from the long hours she spent in the lab faded away as she rounded the corner and saw her husband and baby sitting on the couch.

“Mama’s back!” Zeke said with a grin, propping their little Ava as she stood on his knees. Ava’s big brown eyes saw Raven, and she immediately burst into a series of squeals and kicks.

“Hi sweetie,” Raven grinned as she picked her up and held her baby close to her chest. Ava nuzzled into her neck, and Raven felt the damp onesie against her collarbone.

“Lot of spit-up today?” she asked, glancing at the stains on Zeke’s tshirt. He chuckled.

“No more than usual. And diapers were fine.”

“When was her last bottle?” Raven dropped her bag and settled onto the couch beside him. Zeke glanced at the clock on the stove.

“Bout two hours ago.”

“I’ll have to feed her soon,” Raven bounced a cooing Ava on her lap. “Were you good for Dad?”

Zeke chuckled. “Starting getting a little fussy towards the afternoon. She missed you.”

Raven pressed a kiss to their daughter’s cheek. “I missed you too, but I had to go back to work.” She shut her eyes, trying to tamp down her emotions. Zeke saw through her mask, and he rubbed her shoulder.

“Go spend time with her,” he said softly, nosing her ear. “I’ll get dinner started.”

Raven smiled, giving him a quick kiss before taking Ava into the bedroom. She heard Zeke whistling to the radio as Ava cuddled against her chest.

Later that evening, after Ava had fallen asleep, Raven curled up next to Zeke on the couch.

“Today was rough, wasn’t it?” he murmured, tugging her into his arms. Raven nodded, letting a tear slip.

“I just- I knew I’d be able to go back to work, but-” she stopped talking and took a deep breath. “Someone just made a nasty comment to me, that’s all.”

“Who?” Zeke’s tone lost its lightheartedness. “Was it Echo?” When she nodded, he rolled his eyes and huffed. “Don’t listen to a single word she says.”

“I know,” said Raven, giving him half a smile. “I don’t think she has a single maternal bone in her body.”

Zeke kissed her hairline. “I know this weekend is going to be rough, so how about we ask Bellamy and Clarke if they’re free on Saturday?”

“For what?” Raven knitted her brow. Zeke rubbed a hand up and down her arm.

“For me to take you to that movie you want to see.”

Raven grinned. “I like that idea,” she said, whispering the last word onto his lips as his hands found her waist. No sooner was she straddling him than she heard something faint over the sound of his groans.

Then she heard it again. Ava was fussing.

Raven exhaled, looking at Zeke with a tired smile.

“The joys of parenting,” he quipped, kissing her cheek before they got up to settle her down again.

#zaven #pilot mechanic #pirate mechanic #zaven fanfiction #zaven fic #sorry this is so short but I don't have a lot of experience writing kidfic #Anonymous

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capinejghafa · 3 years

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kanej + fic rec: roomy, and drenched in sunlight by Whitherward

It was a story they’d told each other often, over too much kvas. A running joke between them, what they would do if they ever decided to leave it all behind.

She’d never dreamed they actually would.*

a very loose reinterpretation of that scene

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meyhew · 3 years

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keep my name safe (in the space between your ribs)

rated: general audiences | 2.3k | for @vestero 🎁 moodboard: @robinsonjudy 🤍 summary: alina falls for her best friend and writes about it in her journal

══════════════════

17 MARCH

Mal got me a watch today. It’s this dodgy, old thing with its bands fraying and stray pieces of thread pulling loose—I don’t know where he got it from. Or why. He just gave it to me and said, “Here. I got this for you.”

#alina starkov #mal oretsev #shadow and bone #grishaverse #malina fic #malina lovebots #myfics #uservalentina #zavens #i forgot who to tag im sorry but here is my last fic of the year <3 #x

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birdaquarius · 2 years

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Writing this Zaven fic breaks my heart... Giving Shaw the backstory he deserved and I hate to say I love the way the story goes, so tragic yet beautiful in the end.

#the 100 #the 100 fanfiction #the 100 fic #raven reyes #zeke shaw #miles ezekiel shaw #zaven #pilot mechanic

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nathanmillers · 3 years

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gonna give you the three white guys i like: jonathan bailey / james mcavoy / peter gadiot 😶

jonathan:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him.

james:

peter:

#i’m pretty sure peter is half mexican but he’s still very gorgeous #he’s my fancast for bellamy in my fics!!#also i LOVE JAMES MCAVOY SO MUUUCCHHH #zavens #kristyn answers

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antisocialxconstruct · 4 years

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I threatened to post this last night and then instead I logged off to eat dinner lmao anyway this goes out to the like, three (3) people other than me and @axperjan who are invested in these characters.

11.5k, KotFE drama and some reflections on the choices that led there

-//-

The shuttle ride away from Ziost is a somber one. Dead silent, for a while, as both Shiloh and Zaven struggle to recover from what they witnessed, what they felt … a force disturbance that left the former sick to their stomach and rendered the latter nearly unconscious from the strain.

Even so, it’s Zaven who stirs first, Shiloh just barely catching the movement at the edge of their vision as their companion eventually sits up, then rises on unsteady legs from the utilitarian bench bolted to the hull that had served as their impromptu stretcher. They cross the meager space slowly, careful of their footing, only to sink down onto the identical bench on the opposite wall, where Shiloh sits stooped forward, arms crossed over their knees and eyes obsessively tracing the corrugated patterns in the metal panels of the floor.

“How’re you holding up?” Zaven sighs, letting their head tip back against the hull.

Shiloh doesn’t move. “I’m not the one who nearly passed out,” they reply, their voice flat, nearly weak enough to be lost under the drone of the engine.

“No…” Zaven concedes, “but you also haven’t moved since we boarded two hours ago.”

The silence drags on again, but in a dull, half-conscious attempt to alleviate Zaven’s concern, Shiloh uncrosses their arms and flexes their fingers, studies their hands for a second before folding them together when it becomes obvious that they’re still shaking.

When they ultimately speak again, their voice wavers as well. “Do- do you… did you ever try to imagine what it would look like? If… if you finally faced something you couldn’t beat?”

> read on AO3

#sorry for the external link it's just way too unwieldy for a tungl post gfdgds #swtor #kotfe #shiloh becerra #zaven bagratid #team wildcard #fic #mine #rom fiction

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talistheintrovert · 4 years

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Chapter 10: I Adore You

Bellamy emerged from the bathroom, trying to ignore the dull ache in his cheek, and almost immediately bumped into Clarke, who looked beyond frantic.

“Bellamy?” She gasped, “Where the hell have you been?”

“Sorry, it’s been a mess; I had to run an errand and then my car broke down and I didn’t have signal and then I lost track of time,” he started, but she backed up against the wall, practically hyperventilating. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, Clarke, what’s going on?”

He cupped her jaw in his hands and she gripped at his forearms to steady herself, but there were tears streaming down her cheeks and she was clearly struggling to get ahold of her breathing. And, just his luck, that was the moment when Shaw decided to emerge from the bathroom. He had to admit, it looked pretty bad – he was crowding Clarke against the wall while she gripped at his forearms and sobbed – so he couldn’t really blame the man for getting the wrong idea.

“Hey, what the hell are you doing?” Zeke yelled, striding towards them, but Bellamy shook his head, eyes deadly serious.

“Back up, Shaw,” he ordered, as calm as he could possibly be, given the situation.

Read it on ao3, or start from the beginning HERE!

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shayera-the-magpie · 4 years

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List of My 100 Fics You Can Read While Self-Quarantined

Multi-Chaps

ash daun en skai (Roarke Canon Divergent AU)

save me now before i give up (help me out before i drown) (Bellarke s5 Canon Divergent AU)

Stories Are A Different Kind Of True (Modern AU based on Room; eventual background Bellarke)

One-Shots

tonight you’re a stranger; some silhouette (s6 centric regarding Jo!Clarke)

Princess (s1 centric drabble)

Heavy Lies The Crown (Roarke 4x08 AU)

Remembering You (Zaven Drabble)

Eggnog and Smalltalk

I Bear It So They Don’t Have To (s2 Drabble)

#the 100 fanfiction #the 100 #the 100 fic rec #shameless self promotion #self quarantine #bellarke #zaven #roarke

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immortalcockroach · 6 years

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Hi sweetheart! What about a modern Zaven fic where Raven is a young mother of a beautiful son & she's dating Zeke but he lied to her about going back to war and they have an argument about it because she truly care about him and be lighted up her world after Finn left her and she's scared to lose him? Bonus, it is set on the beach with a gorgeous sunset, to contrast the pain from their concersation. Haha, I love pain but they are the babes.

Hey, Anon! This was a very specific request and I hope I did it justice. The first part is the backstory so it’s a little bit slow, but the actual conversation absolutely breaks my heart.

WE’RE ALL SURVIVING THE BEST WAY WE CAN

summary: Raven finds out that Zeke is going back to the Air Force and she can’t bear the thought of him leaving, too - not after he’s become to her everything her child’s father, Finn, couldn’t be.

pairing: Raven x Zeke

words: 2,522

read on AO3

When Raven met Zeke, she was at a very bad place in her life. At twenty-four, she had a two-year-old to look after and a job at a car repair shop downtown where she worked with sexist pigs, and an ex-fiancee who knocked her up and bolted into the arms of another woman.

Miles met him first. She lost him at the park and Zeke was the one who found him and brought it back to her, and took them for an ice-cream and lunch.

Miles adored him and Raven couldn’t say otherwise. He smiled brightly at them, tugged at Miles’s curls playfully, and he didn’t seem to have any ill intentions toward either of them.

Sometimes, Raven is surprised at the number of men who get off on young mothers with children, and she’s become wary of them over time.

There was nothing about Zeke that wasn’t genuine. When he offered them to get lunch again sometime, she accepted almost immediately.

Miles hugged him when they were leaving, and Zeke smiled, and when he looked at her, she could tell he was really hoping she’d call. That he’d see her again.

And really, she trusted Miles’s judgment. And was really lonely, and sad, and miserable, and longed to be able to have someone in her life who’d help her out because after Finn, her life consisted of work and Miles and having to take too many jobs to be able to pay the bills, and her social life was nonexistent.

Besides, Zeke didn’t seem to mind the fact she was a mother. If anything, he seemed to like that the two came in a package, and it wasn’t long before they were dating and he became more of a father to Miles than Finn ever was.

They moved in with him few months later, because Raven loved him and he loved her and even though they were young and probably rushing into things, she trusted him more than she ever trusted Finn and that was all she needed.

He knew her story. Only child, doesn’t know her father, raised herself because of a deadbeat mother, and didn’t go to college because her grades weren’t good enough since she spent most of her time working three jobs to pay for the bills and her mother’s debts. At eighteen, she started dating her childhood best friend and at twenty he proposed and at twenty-one she got pregnant with Miles, and he had to go to California for several months, and when she gave him a surprise visit, she found another woman in his bed.

She knew his story. Born and raised in Brooklyn, studied programming at MIT before deciding to be a pilot in the Air Force. Big, beautiful family of all intelligent and loving people, with a mother who died few days before they met, of breast cancer. One long-term girlfriend, but he didn’t want to continue the relationship while serving the country, and he came back from Afghanistan two months before they met.

After a year of living together, Raven feels like she can finally breathe again. She’s twenty-six with a four-year-old who treats the man he lives with as his dad, and Zeke treats Miles as a son. Miles has taken after Raven’s Hispanic complexion and has her curls, so when his old friends see him with Miles, nobody thinks he isn’t his.

In addition to that, Raven left her job at the mechanic and is studying part-time for a degree in the mechanics, even though she’s better than all her peers. She got a job at a prestigious car company and she’s met Monty there, who introduced her to Harper and Jasper and Miller and Jackson, all the people who are now a part of her and Zeke’s friendship group.

For the first time since she found out she was pregnant with Miles—or maybe first time ever, really—she’s truly, infinitely happy.

That’s why it hurts so much to confront him about the letter from the military.

And that’s why she confronts him about it while Miles is at Harper and Monty’s kid’s birthday sleepover, and she and Zeke have some time to themselves. They took a Harley to Brighton Beach and when Zeke left to get them ice-cream, Raven sat on the sand.

Right now, she feels heavy. It’s not the kind of sadness she’s used to, because she isn’t particularly sad. She lost the capacity to be sad when Finn ruined her and she promised herself she’d become stronger, never let anyone do that to her again.

It feels like walking for a long time, when your feet hurt and you know that walking doesn’t ease the pain, but you have a place you need to go to and sometimes your feet hurt.

Sometimes you ache, with a blank stare, trying to figure out the whirlpool of emotions inside you. To figure out where you are at this moment, at this place, with this person, and who you are in midst of all that. Sometimes, it’s acceptance that hurts more than the realization of impending loss.

Maybe it takes Zeke a long time to get the ice-cream, maybe every moment she spends agonizing over the future lasts a short eternity.

Raven runs her fingers through the sand. It’s brittle and warm, and she feels the dying sun on her face and can’t help but feel a different kind of heaviness weighing her down.

She doesn’t feel like crying. It feels too deep to be so shallow, it feels like a house ripped away from her and her roots snatched from the ground and she’s floating, and her body aches, and she feels it too deep to be able to cry.

Zeke planned it as a romantic getaway. Something they haven’t had in a long time, and as much as they love spending time with Miles, it’s beautiful to have moments like these.

Just the two of them.

And a letter from the military.

When Zeke comes, she can’t even bring herself to smile, or look at him. He tells her about the line he had to stand in, and stupid kids, and she hears the adoration in his voice he has every time he talks about kids. She knows he wants one of his own, one to be a brother or a sister to Miles.

He notices, almost right away.

“What’s wrong?”

‘Nothing,’ Raven wants to say, but it’s a lie too heavy. Her eyes are burning and so is her throat, but there are no tears threatening to fall.

She stares at the sun that’s turning orange. There’s people around them, kids playing, some even swimming, but it feels like they’re somewhere else. She can barely perceive what’s happening to her.

“I love you,” she says.

It’s not the first time she says it and it’s not unusual, but she’s certain he notices the way her voice cracks at the end of the statement. How she doesn’t look at him, how gravely her voice is. Maybe he even notices her fingers shaking, even if they’re buried in the sand or holding the cone.

“I love you, too.” He moves some hair out of her face. “What is going on, Raven?”

“I found your letter,” she says. “From the Air Force.”

She looks at him. He holds her gaze, for a second or two, before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and focusing on something behind her, anything but her.

“I was going to tell you.”

“When? You’re leaving in two weeks.”

Zeke opens his mouth, parts his lips in a way he does before he gives an excuse, but gives up and looks at the ocean instead.

There are still no tears threatening to fall, but Raven feels as if someone’s choking her.

She should’ve known when McCreary came over, and Zeke couldn’t fall asleep that night. When he was grumpy—and Zeke is never grumpy, not with her or Miles—and when he was quiet, and it was months ago.

She should’ve known he would want back in.

There are many reasons why Raven loves him and his hero-complex that he so vehemently denies is larger than most of them.

“You want to be the hero,” she states.

He doesn’t deny it this time.

She smiles, still. “You already are one. You’re Miles’s hero.”

“I know. And it’s more than I deserve. Sometimes it’s too much to bear, to know that this little, beautiful kid sees me as his hero when there’s so many better people than me out there.” Before Raven can protest, he continues, “It’s easier when you’re fighting a war for someone else, when you’re a hero without a name. Just a number.”

“You’re not just a number.”

“I am, Rae.” He brings a finger to her lips and brushes over them, glancing at her as if in fear of what happens next. “But McCreary and Diyoza and my team, they need me.”

“I need you.”

“You don’t,” he says. “You’re perfectly capable of living your life on your own.”

“I was giving up when I met you.”

“You were never going to give up. Finn fucked you up and ruined your self-confidence and shit, but you’re a great mother and a woman because you had to raise Miles on your own and he’s the best kid I’ve ever known.”

“He says that because he’s yours.”

Zeke smiles. “I wish he was, but he isn’t. But if I ever have kids, God, I want them to be raised by you. I want them to be kind and sassy and confident and stubborn just like Miles. Just like you.”

“Then why leave?”

This time, he doesn’t answer right away. He drops his hand from her face and puts it on his lap, and Raven resists the urge to hold it. To ask him to promise that everything’s going to be okay, that he won’t leave.

She knows better. She knows he can’t promise her that, because his team is as much family to him as she is.

Instead, she watches the sun. It’s closer to the ocean and it’ll start to set soon, and she wishes she could embrace the sight as much as she should. Without knowing he’s going to leave, too.

“Is there something wrong with me?” Her voice is quiet, almost inaudible, and she can’t look at him when she asks it. “Is that why everyone leaves? I become too much? Do I say stupid shit? Is there something I—”

She doesn’t realize she’s crying or that Zeke is holding her until she runs out of breath and she’s shaking in his arms, barely even feeling the warmth of his body. He smells like the garage, like his Harley, like the mint that’s planted all around their apartment because Miles loves it. He smells like home.

Raven doesn’t want to imagine a home without him.

His hands pull her closer when she starts sobbing, and she’s in his lap and he runs hands through her hair. She doesn’t even have the energy to hug him back, to wrap her hands around him and never let him go.

She doesn’t want him to go.

She doesn’t want to be left alone again.

She doesn’t want this.

He kisses the top of her head and she feels tears in her hair, too.

“You are perfect,” he whispers. His voice is hoarse and he’s about to break down, struggling to get the words out, but does it anyway. “You are kind and brave and intelligent and you don’t deserve any of the shit you’ve been through. You deserve to be treated right and I feel like I can’t do that, not yet. You’re a woman who knows what she wants and I feel like I’m not mature enough to be with you. Like I don’t deserve you.”

Raven parts her lips and tries to say something, but can’t. There’s nothing she can say that could convey the weight of the emotion she’s feeling right now.

Zeke pulls her even closer.

“This is my last time, but I need this. I need to sort my head through. It’s just six months, and then I’m done with it. But I want to figure out who I am before I can be the man you deserve.”

“I already deserve you,” she whispers.

“No,” he says. “Raven, you and Miles are the best thing that’s happened to me. And I want to have kids with you, more than we can handle. And I want to take you to my stupidly big family celebrations, and I want to let Miles take my name, and I want to marry you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“But you’re leaving.”

“Yes. But I’m leaving so I could come back a better man.”

“War doesn’t make heroes,” she says. “It ruins them.”

Zeke pulls her back, cupping both her cheeks, and makes her look at him. She hates the sight – he looks just as broken as she feels. Red eyes, skin swollen underneath them, and trembling lips, blushing cheeks. He looks like a mess, but it’s the mess she loves and can’t bear to lose.

“Listen,” he says. “I owe my team this much. And I’m not leaving. I’ll never leave you. I’ll write to you, I’ll call when I’ll be able to, and I’m not going to be another person who left you on your own because I’d rather die.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I’m serious.”

She can’t bear the thought of him dying. “Please, don’t say that.”

“Look at me. Rae, please. I love you, okay? You may not understand, but this is something I need to do. And when I come back, I’ll marry you.”

“What if I say no?”

“You’ll be too happy to see me to say no,” he says. He looks at her for a moment and realizes it was an attempt to make a joke, and his lips spread into the tiniest of smiles – but genuine. “I’m serious. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“But you didn’t tell me about this.”

“I’m sorry. It was shitty of me, but I didn’t know how to. I was going to do it today, and explain everything.”

“And propose to me?”

“No,” he admits, “that wasn’t a part of the plan. But I’ve been meaning to do it since the moment I realized you were Miles’s mother, because he was the best kid I’ve ever met and I thought he must have the best mother ever, and when I saw you looking stunning even though you looked like you were about to fall apart, I knew I was going to marry you someday.”

She smiles. Barely.

He’s leaving, but he’s not leaving. And he’s making a promise that he’ll come back.

“When you come back,” she says, “I promise I’ll say yes.”

When he kisses her, lips wet and salty with tears of goodbye, she knows she means what she said.

He’s not her dad, or her mom, or Finn.

He’s Zeke. And he’s never going to leave her.

#Anonymous #zaven #zaven fanfic #zaven fic #zaven fanfiction #ff: zaven #my fic #raven reyes #zeke shaw #miles ezekiel shaw #miles shaw #raven x zeke #the 100 #the 100 fic #the 100 fanfic #the 100 fanfiction #the 100 au #the 100 modern au #i forgive queue

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axperjan · 5 years

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@remnantofahero context might be obvious but 👀

#fallen hero #fallen hero: rebirth #sidestep #anathema #Shiloh Becerra #Zaven Bagratid #art shenanigans #team wildcard au #maybe at some point ill get around to working out sr stuff for real but for NOW #throws in the fic doodle as well just because its SO small there... anyway im in a real golden days mood now #sorry shiloh for outing you even more ghfjk

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the-most-beautiful-broom · 6 years

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endure (ch 2/4)

zaven zombie apocolypse au

When she woke up, she thought idly that maybe she needed more sleep, because the cabin smelled like pancakes.

Raven frowned into her pillow, sliding a hand through her hair as she recovered her bearings. She never kept clocks around because she never kept time, but the shadows said she was sometime between morning and noon, which didn’t help her any in trying to figure out how much sleep she’d gotten. She yanked a tank top unceremoniously over her head and thumped down the stairs, halting at the landing.

So it was pancakes.

Rather, it was Zeke in her kitchen, making pancakes.

Rather rather, it was Zeke, shirtless, in her kitchen, making pancakes.

Which was a sight and a half.

He had a couple of tattoos sprinkled across his upper body, black ink, simple, disguised by his movement or the swell his arms and chest. Some script under one of his ribs, something like wings on his forearm, a date in roman numerals along his collarbone.

“You don’t have any maple syrup,” Zeke said, without turning from the stove. “But you do have honey and cinnamon, so we should be good.”

He was probably making breakfast as some sort of coercion tactic, like if he completed x amount of domestic tasks then she’d decide to go back with him. Or at least hear who’d sent him. Of course, neither was going to happen.

Raven leaned against the doorway, crossing her arms. “The cinnamon is for the ants.”

Zeke looked up, an amused frown on his face. “What?”

“They don’t like it,” Raven shrugged. “Put cinnamon on the window sill and they stay out.”

Zeke made a you learn something new every day face, and went back to the stove. “Well, today it’s for pancakes.”

Raven wasn’t really a pancake person, and she still wasn’t convinced they weren’t a part of an ulterior scheme to change her mind, but it did smell good in the kitchen. She crossed behind Zeke to the sink at the other end of the room, leaning around him to grab the kettle from the stove. It was still early, and her mind was still waking up, that’s why she swayed a bit on her feet. And she didn’t mean to totter off balance, but she was used to being the only one around, so when she brushed against Zeke’s side, it really was an accident. Really. But her shoulder felt like it was burning from where she’d brushed against him, and he jumped pretty dramatically, so something told Raven he’d felt it too.

“Sorry,” Raven mumbled, not sure what she was apologizing for. “Coffee?”

“Sure,” Zeke cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah, sure.”

continue on ao3

read from the start

#zaven #zeke shaw #raven reyes #zaven fic #lindsay writes

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the-unsea · 4 years

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The Prequel We Deserve!

(I wrote this over a year ago. I will probably never go anywhere else with it, but it deserves to see the light of day.)

Zaven

Raven Reyes and Zeke Shaw meet in the Air Force Academy when they are eighteen. He wanted to be a fighter pilot, she wanted to be an astronaut. He told her stories of riding motorcycles in Detroit, she told him how she used to be part of a ring where her friends would steal cars and she would strip them for parts. When they were busted, the Chief of Police called in a favor with his best friend, the Senior State Senator and got her a recommendation to the AF Academy instead. She had the highest GPA the local high school had seen in 52 years.

When her leg is damaged in a car accident, it takes away her dream of working for NASA.

Shaw goes to flight school as they had always planned but she is recruited by Becca Pramheda helping with her research with ALIE. They live on stolen weekends when he is on leave. Then Becca asks Raven to join her on Polaris in space. Raven can’t say no. She doesn’t know when she will be back to earth. She tells Shaw she loves him but not to wait for her. She is there for two years when the bombs go off. She looks out the window as the earth is destroyed and hopes Shaw got to say goodbye to his grandmother. Eventually, she is asked to go to the South American station, she stays there having since discovered the true nature of Becca’s work, she fears it. She doesn’t know she will see Shaw again two years later on Unity Day.

Bellarke

Bellamy Blake was almost a high school drop out. His mom couldn’t hold a job, his sister was one absence away from being expelled (how did that make sense?). He was sixteen, had an okay job at the local grocery store, and an even better side gig stealing cars. Luckily for him, he had a guidance counselor who saw the best in him. He had a PE teacher who had been an army officer in a previous life. He had a history teacher who shared his obsession with Greek and Roman history. After all, Bellamy named his sister after Augustus’s sister. So, he stayed in school, joined the Navy and became a Navy Seal. He didn’t particularly enjoy war and death, but he did enjoy helping people. The pay helped his sister. That was all that mattered.

Clarke Griffin was almost born in space. She was definitely conceived there. Her mom was a doctor and her dad was the chief engineer of the American Space Station in orbit around Earth. She was a legacy on the station. She was the only child there for many years, until Jaha’s wife died and Wells joined them. She followed in her mom’s footsteps, training under her as a teenager on the station. She went to college and med school “on the ground” as they called it in space, but she came back to the station with her mom for her residency.

Bellamy got to the space station the day before the bombs went off. He was the new head of security for the American station. It was the most prestigious posting for a SEAL. He was looking forward to being out of danger. He looked out the window as the bombs went off, clad in his Navy BDUs, and openly cried for his sister. Clarke walked up beside him, watched the destruction below and placed a hand on his shoulder. Everyone she cared about was already here. She didn’t know this man, but obviously, he was losing someone.

Marper

Monty Green is trying to solve global warming in space using farming techniques. He doesn’t know how it is going to work either, he just has a dream. If he can grow algae in space, he can save the world. He has a PhD from MIT in molecular biology and a dream for peace. His parents were killed in gang wars in Chinatown. His best friend died of a drug overdose in high school. He just wants to do good with his life.

Harper McIntyre was brought on as second in command for Bellamy the day before the bombs went off. She trained under him, but not *under* him, get your head out of the gutter. She had always wanted a brother to protect her, and he missed his sister. He never treated her any different than any of the guys and she never demanded special treatment because she was a woman. She never would have made it in the SEALs had she done so anyway. She was brought up in foster care and joined the Navy as a way to have a future. She meets Monty in the cafeteria right after the bombs go off. She is crouched on a wall crying. It’s the first time she cried since her parents died. She didn’t cry the first time she shot someone in battle. She didn’t cry the first time one of her unit died in her arms. But watching the earth burn below, she was a sobbing mess. Monty just puts his arms around her and lets her cry. The day brings many strangers together.

#the 100 #bellarke #marper #zaven #I really want to write this fic one day #Or change the character names and submit for a flashback script

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