#zoya x dominik

[yibeimolihuacha]

My problem is when I fall in love with a fictional character I can ship them with everyone, because if I fell in love with them then certainly so can everyone else, right?

Right?

[heyitsspaceace]

shout out to shadow and bone season 2 being the gayest season yet

[blahwithasideofblah]

"Nikolai Lantsov has two hands."

FALSE

Nikolai Lantsov has four hands, he is a polyamory KING!!!

[tastypizzaandpies]

seen enough for alina

[ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes]

The Phoenix and the Crow

part thirteen

pairing: kaz brekker x reader

genre: angst/neutral

el's thoughts: this... is the "official" final part of the series! thank you so so much for all the love and support y'all have given me! i left the ending in a place where i can always come back and pick it up if i wanted to. so with that being said, please enjoy this part! i hope you like it as much as i loved writing it! please remember to reblog and comment :)

masterlist

Nikolai leaned heavily on Toyla while Tamar walked on his other side, both siblings leading him to a place to sit. The crows followed silently behind the group of three, watching the other soldiers carry their dead.

“Long may the night carry our souls until the dawn renews us.” Toyla said as he helped the young king sit on a wooden crate. 

“Rabinov. Canto Seventeen.” Kaz spoke, leaning forward on his cane. 

Toyla smiled, “Seems we both share an appreciation for life’s beauty.”

Nikolai let out a soft groan when he put some of his weight on his wounded shoulder. Tamar placed her hand on his back, “Are you okay?”

“A moment of sun before we deal with our losses.”  The blonde stared blankly in front of him. “Dominik…” He cut himself off as he felt emotions rising in his throat at the thought of the loss of his best friend. 

“He did exactly what any of us would have done for each other. For you.” Tamar’s voice held nothing but conviction as she spoke. 

The group's attention was taken away from each other when they noticed five people walking into their camp. Alina lead the group while Mal followed behind everyone. Nina stopped at the line of dead soldiers and stood in her place with a distant look in her eyes. Y/N froze in her steps a few paces before the heartrender, lost in her own mind as she observed the people around her. Kaz stared at her with a flash of concern in his piercing eyes. Nikolai watched the small, nearly unnoticeable interaction with slight interest before he saw Inej hand the blade to Alina. 

Alina ran off to find Mal and before Inej walked over to the other crows she turned to Y/N. She held her hand out to call her over causing the inferni to smile softly to herself. She followed the suli girl a few paces behind her finally looking over the rest of their crew. Kaz watched her intently, waiting for her to make eye contact finally and when she did neither was brave enough to break it. A strong sense of longing filled Y/N’s chest but she held her ground, only nodding at the man before going over to Nikolai and the twins. 

“And Kirigan?” Nikolai asked. 

“Dead.” Y/N’s voice was cold and emotionless as she avoided looking into their eyes. “Zoya is protecting the body. Alina wants it burned.”

A wave of unspoken relief washed over the trio seated before her.

The young king rose to his feet and faced the crows. “Thank you. My country might have been sunk if you hadn’t arrived.” His lips formed a faint smirk, “Again.” 

“We’ll settle those thanks in gold.” 

Y/N’s eyes only lifted from the ground in front of her at the sound of Kaz’s gravelly voice.

Tamar and Toyla helped Nikolai limp away with Nadia and her brother following the trio. 

“He’s right, you know. We do have our adventures. We should hire a writer to jot down our story.” As Jesper spoke, Wylan moved to stand next to Kaz while Y/N stayed seated on the wooden crates.

“What will we call it?” The zemini continued. “The four charming rouges of Ketterdam. Yes.” He smiled to himself with pride. 

“There’s six of us.” Kaz said quietly as he glanced between Nina and Y/N.”

Jesper snapped his fingers, “Right. Six of cro-”

~

Y/N stood with Nina and the horse’s stroking their manes while leaning her head against one of their necks. She heard the muffled sound of Kaz’s cane coming towards them and she swiftly moved behind the horses so she wouldn’t have to see him directly.

“You might be a Saint now.” Kaz said to Nina. “Bringing someone back from the dead.”

“I wish I could take credit. Wasn’t me. She’s the real Saint.” They both turned to look at Alina talking with Nikolai.

“Once the world stops looking at her with gratitude, they’ll start to wonder if she's outstayed her welcome. That’ll be dangerous.” Kaz’s words caused Y/N's mind to run wild with uncontrollable thoughts. How were the people to react once they saw her for what she truly was? Where was she supposed to stay if she had to ture home? Her whole existence’s purpose was to protect grisha, at least that’s what Kirigan told her. She was to be a shield for those too weak to make their own. She was trained to willingly sacrifice herself over and over again. She didn’t know a life without that mentality.

“She may be the first person I’ve met who is both of the two most dangerous types in this world.” Nina’s voice shook her from her thoughts. 

“And which two are those?” Kaz asked. 

“Those defending their happily ever after. And those who don’t know how to find their way to one.” The heartrender spoke while watching him expectantly.

“Sounds like someone else I know.” He diverted. 

“I can't make peace with this place. I’m not giving up on my happily ever after.” Nina shook her head, “I’ll claw my way to one. If he’ll let me.”

Kaz’s eyes moved past Nina to the pair of boots standing behind one of the horses before looking back at the girl in front of him. “Let me help you.”

Y/N smiled softly to herself at the sound of determination in his voice. Proud of the small bit of care for his friends breaking through his walls. 

~

The heat was scorching as they all stood around Kirigan’s body that laid on a bed of firewood. Y/N extended her hand from where she stood and lit the two torches where they laid in their basket. She stood next to Zoya with Genya and Alina next to them. The crows stood behind the girls while Nikolai and his soldiers stood on the stone steps in front of everyone. 

Kaz stood directly behind the inferni, everything in his being screamed to place a hand of comfort on her shoulder but he knew he couldn’t. Instead he was left to watch in affliction as her shoulders visibly tensed beneath her uniform, her hands clenched and unclenched at the sight of the Darkling’s body before her. The man who caused her mental and emotional pain for years before she was able to escape. Before Kaz was able to do everything in his power to keep her safe and out of harm's way the best he could. 

“You go.” Alina spoke to Zoya and Genya. “You both have every right.”

Zoya lit the bed of firewood first, her eyes never leaving the Darkling’s pale face as she tossed the torch next to his feet. Genya then walked forward and lit the wood next to his head, making sure the fire caught before turning and handing the torch to Alina. 

“No grave. Nothing left.” Alina spoke as she stood before the body. “Goodbye, Aleksander.” She threw the torch onto him and walked back to stand beside Genya. 

Y/N moved her hands subtly twirled her fingers to spread the fire over the bed of wood while Nikolai walked down the steps.

“Today is a new beginning.” The young king started his speech. “For all of Ravka. Hell, for our whole world. It’s a bit daunting, isn't it? Knowing where to go from here.” He looked at the four girls at the front of the group, Alina and Genya holding hands while Y/N and Zoya stood beside each other like soldiers. “We’ve had a singular focus for so long. So much blood has been shed. After hundreds of years separated by the Fold, we can celebrate a unified Ravka. Our neighbors to the North will see us united and will aim to strike. But often it’s not the battle that takes the most from us. It’s the aftermath. The chance to put the pieces of our lives back together.” He focused his attention on Y/N, the girl holding eye contact with him. “When a Phoenix rises for the ashes, it is not the same. But in that rebirth, is potential. Potential for a new purpose.” 

Y/N turned her head down to stare at her sandy boots. Hyperawear of Kaz’s lingering eyes on the back of her head.

“Thanks for what Alina has done for us,” Nikolai continued. “We all have a chance to better the world now that the Fold is gone. Above all, you must trust. Trust in each other. In yourselves. Trust in the fact that this is the start of better days to come. And it won’t be easy, of course. Nothing is.” He looked around the group of soldiers and thieves. “I had hoped to end that on a more uplifting note, but here we are.”

The crows all walked away, glancing back at Y/N every-so-often as she stood with her eyes glazed over while she stared at the charred body of General Kirigan.

Alina wrapped her arm around Genya and looked to the other two girls silently asking them to come closer. Zoya stepped first and reached her hand out to Y/N, drawing her into her side. Nikolai watched the four girls with an ache in his chest but a slight smile on his lips before he too followed the rest of the group. Leaving them there to have their final moments alone. 

~

Y/N sat with her hand’s clasped in front of her on her knees. Her eyes were closed as her lips moved in a silent prayer. She prayed for her country and the road ahead of them they’d have to pave. She prayed for her old friends and new found friends. For them to find peace and happiness in every step forward from now on. 

The last of her prayers fell from her lips when she heard soft footsteps down the hall followed by the unmistakeable clicking of her favorite cane. She closed her eyes and bit back her smile when she felt him walk into the small chapel room.

“Lantsov paid up.” Kaz said. “Everyone will get their cut.”

“I didn’t do this for the money, Brekker.” Y/N replied, her eyes still focused on the stained glass portrait of Alina. She sighed when he didn’t say anything. “And Nina?”

“She’ll receive a pardon for deserting and another for her Fjerdan.” The inferni looked back at him, his eyes not meeting her as he updated her. “As long as he stays out of trouble, the charges will be dropped.”

She nodded and faced forward once again, opening her mouth to say something then quickly decided against it and bit her tongue.

“I also…” Kaz cleared his throat. “Wanted to say goodbye.”

Y/N felt her eyes glaze over as she turned to look at him, “I didn’t think you were the sentimental type.” Her smile faded when he didn’t say anything, his eyes avoiding her at all costs. “Who said I wasn’t going back to Ketterdam? I have to say… That city has grown on me.”

“Ravka is your home. You and I both know that you need to stay. Your country still needs you, Y/L/N. They’ll need someone to help lead, not a king, not a sun Saint. They’ll need a strong soldier.”

Y/N turned away from him quickly, blinking back her tears. That was the last thing she hoped to hear. How she still had to keep fighting for her country, for the people who hadn't done much for her in return. She couldn’t go back with the people who had shown her true kindness. Not yet anyway.

She swallowed hard before speaking, “I know this won’t mean much to you… but I pray for him. For the person who you once were. And you.”

“I don’t want your prayers.”

“What do you want then?” 

Kaz stared at her as she looked down at her hand and twisted her fingers together. And all at once, that familiar sense of longing settled in his stomach. What did he want? For her to let go of her morals and values just to come back to Ketterdam with him? For her to be one of his crows or something more? To be able to see her everyday in the normalcy of the Barrel. To have everyday conversations with her. To get to know her better than anyone has ever tried. For her to trust him just as he felt he could trust her. What did he want? Her.

“To die, buried under the weight of my own gold.” His mind screamed at him for lying. For lying to her of all people.

Y/N chuckled humorlessly, “More money. More scores to settle.” With a deep breath she rose to her feet and walked closer to him. Her actions startled him for a split second. “Was there never another dream?” His lack of response caused her to nod and start walking past him. 

The sudden urge to reach out for her washed over Kaz so strongly he finally gave in. His gloved hand clasped around her wrist. “Stay.”

She froze at the feeling of the leather on her skin, the air leaving her lungs in a gasp. 

“Stay in Ketterdam.” He choked out the words. “Stay with…” He couldn’t finish  his thought as she turned around to face him. 

She smiled softly as she looked at their hands “What would be the point?” She moved her hands to hold his one in both of hers. “We both don’t know what we’re getting ourselves into yet, and that’s okay. You’re not ready and… I might not be either.” She let out a sigh. “You have a kingdom of your own back in Ketterdam to run and I have a country to help run. We… We have jobs to do, you said so yourself. But-” She finally brought her eyes up to his and licked her lips in thought as her mind ran over her next words. “But if you’re also willing and the Saints above see it fit… I’ll wait. For you. I’ll be here waiting for you whenever you’re ready. I will have you, Kaz Brekker, when you’re ready. That’s my promise to you.” She smiled one last time up at him before letting go of his hand and walking out of the chapel room.

Kaz continued to stare where she once stood and gave in to the slight quirk of his lips. When he’s ready. That was something he could live with.

~*~*~

taglist:@rachelcarroll1819 @xcharlottemikaelsonx @khaleesihavilliard @simrah1012 @foulkryptonitepeanut @astridyoo15 @queenofshinigamis @peakyispunk @jahayla-parker @maliciousbrekker @brekkershadowsinger @winstonthecow22 @lee-says-things @bunneex @writingmysanity @sleepynightchild @madnessinwrighting @romanticvampire @dark-academia-slut

[maroon-book-dragon]

Updated Ship List

Kaz x Inej, Kaz x Jesper, Jesper x Wylan, Jesper x Goat, Inej x Nina, Nina x Matthias, Nina x Hanne, Alina x Nikolai, Alina x Darkling (as much as that pains me), Alina x Mal, Alina x Genya, Alina x Zoya, Mal x Zoya, Nikolai x Zoya, Darkling x Zoya, Genya x David, Tamar x Nadia, Fedyor x Ivan, Kaz x Wylan, Nikolai x Darkling, Nikolai x Dominik

If you didn't already know: I'm running a best Grishaverse ship (poll) war starting today! Listed below are all the ships I can think of thus far (canonical and non-canonical) that I have seen widely circulated or that I feel people would vote for. Please feel free to reblog with new ones in the tags or message me!

people who responded who are getting tagged:

@unashamed-fanfiction-addict @tamadiasillies @booklover2389 @stromuprisahat (i didn't add some of the ships you suggested cause i didn't know who they were or couldn't know for sure, sry!)

[bey0nd-1he-stars]

Season 3 of S&B

Let’s assume we get a season 3 because I don’t know what I’ll do otherwise. Continue to stream hose seasons that are out but preferably season 2!

But, say we get season three! What do we want included? Please tell me! I’m interested! Write in the comments, reblog or send to my inbox, your hopes for season 3!

Some things that I want included are:

- Ice court heist, obvi

- More Helnik

- Inej returning, I mean come on,imagine the pining

- Zoya x Nikolai, these two has me dying at their feet

- Zoya backstory, I feel like they owe her that because she’s such an incredible character

- ”Scheming face”

- Getting Wylan’s surename revealed

- Wylan’s drawing skills of the Ice court

- Sankta Elizaveta

- The triumvirate

- Nikolai backstory, with both Dominik and Vasily, and I would love to see his journey to become Sturmhond

- Obviously demon!Nikolai and Zoya locking him in bed

- I wanna know how Mal is doing as a privateer and I feel like he somehow finds his way back to Alina but her powers are dark now, and how are the two of them connected with merzost??

Just a few thought at the top of my head, please tell me what y’all wanna see!!

[rietveldbrothers]

If I can't have love, I want power

a/n: me elisha and tiff wrote the most unhinged au our combined chaos could come up with for @grishaversebigbang 2023. make sure to check out the stunning art from our materialki below

Materialki: @iri-lynx (x) @hagnoart (x) and @mfrov95 (x)

Ethrealki: @dregstrash @wafflesandkruge

Summary:

Zoya didn’t need anyone. It was a lesson that had been burned into her after she’d let Nikolai into her life four years ago, and he’d responded by sabotaging her chances at Top Gun. When the best of the best are called back to North Island for a dangerous mission, Zoya and Nikolai must set aside the past and work together once again. But the heart is a tricky thing, and Zoya isn’t sure if she’s ready to let go of her grudges just yet…

AKA the love square meets top gun au with lots of pining, angst, and loaded history.

Read on AO3 or Chapter 1 below the cut

Nikolai’s breath came in short, harsh pants as his hands clenched around the controls of his plane. All he could see was the black fighter in front of him, desperately dodging and weaving to try to avoid him. He was good, Nikolai would give him that. But he was better. 

“Come on, come on,” he muttered as he watched his computer track the other plane, the target never quite steadying. The fighter dived into the canyon below and Nikolai followed, still not able to get a missile lock. The canyon walls seemed to narrow around his plane, one small misstep sure to end with him dying in a fiery wreck. Nikolai’s breathing quickened.

“Nik, need some help here!” Dominik gasped on the radio. Nikolai jerked his head up and saw two planes streaking across the sky, Dominik pursued by another enemy fighter. His heart stopped.

“Genya!” he yelled. “Help Domino!”

The fighter he was pursuing swerved suddenly, and Nikolai cursed as he struggled to follow. The enemy planes were infinitely more maneuverable than theirs, if a little slower. But he was so goddamn close, he could taste it.

“Can’t!” Genya responded, her heavy breathing making the line crackle. “Two on my tail.”

“Nikolai!”

Fuck. Nikolai was getting too far from his teammates. The world seemed to slow as he stared at the fighter in front of him, seemingly getting further and further away from him with every second. Dominik could handle himself for a few more seconds. If he stayed, he could chalk his first kill. He could scratch that tally mark into the side of his plane.

And Dominik would be dead.

Damn it all. 

He pulled up and out of the valley, the familiar crushing force settling back onto his body. 

“I’m coming,” he gasped, praying Dominik could hear him. “Hang on.”

The sky was a brilliant, unforgiving blue as he climbed higher, the air thinning. He looked around wildly.

“Talk to me, Dom. Where are you?”

“On your left! Break right, break right!”

Nikolai obeyed blindly, his body jerking against the seat’s restraints as the plane went perpendicular with the ground. To his right, he saw Genya’s plane scream past. She was giving the two on her tail a run for their money. Dominik passed by overhead with a roar, smoke trailing from his plane. Another enemy fighter followed him. 

Nikolai cursed and struggled to right his plane, but it was too goddamn slow. Time seemed to stretch out, each second an hour as Dominik got further and further from him.

“I’m almost there, Dom. Hang on,” he panted as he pushed the jet to go faster. The engine let out a warning screech.

“Nikolai!” Dominik screamed. 

“I’m coming, I’m coming—” His cockpit felt like it was burning up, the heat of a thousand suns piercing through his uniform and searing his skin, his bones—

“Nikolai!”

Nikolai bolts awake, sheets twisted around his sweat-sticky body. Dominik’s screams echo in his ear. His heart pounds in staccato rhythm, his mind still locked in a battle long past, long survived.  

“You good?”

Nikolai blinks and the figure crouched beside his bunk comes into focus. Mal Oretsev’s face is twisted in concern, one hand still stretched toward Nikolai. Nikolai bats it aside. He forces one breath after another into his constricted lungs, and slowly, the panic subsides. He isn’t in the sky, he isn’t flying, and the ground beneath him is as solid as it would ever be.

“Yeah,” he says breathlessly. He clears his throat and tries again, this time with a fake smile. “Never better.”

Mal doesn’t look convinced, but thankfully, doesn’t dig. He’s used to Nikolai’s idiosyncrasies by now. He tosses a shirt at Nikolai. “You better get your ass ready then. They called us back to Top Gun.”

Nikolai’s heart stutters at the name. Memories of bright blue eyes, desert that stretched to the horizon, and words he regretted more than anything rise unbidden to his mind. He hasn’t been back since what had happened almost four years ago, and he had intended to keep it that way for the rest of his hopefully long career. But he supposes he was never that lucky of a guy, anyway. He keeps his voice carefully level as he pulls the shirt on and kicks off his sheets.

“For what?”

Mal leans against his dresser, the very picture of nonchalance as Nikolai pulls on the first pair of pants he can find on his floor. But Nikolai has been with him long enough to read the tension in his jaw and that look he gets when he’s thinking about the past. He isn’t the only one with a messy story, after all. 

“Special detachment. They wouldn’t tell me more than that. But they only invited the best of the best.”

There’s only one pilot other than himself that Nikolai would ever think of as the best. He’s spent so long trying to forget her that the thought of seeing her again is like the sight of water for a man dying of thirst. His heart gives a little skip, the ink on his forearm aches. 

Don’t even start, Lantsov. Zoya’s not in the business of second chances. 

Nikolai shoves the thought of her out of his mind and gives Mal his best asshole-smile. 

“Guess you’re in charge of the squadron while I’m gone then.”

Mal rolls his eyes and chuffs Nikolai on the shoulder. “Fuck off, asshole. Be ready to leave in an hour or I’m leaving you behind.”

Nikolai clutches his heart in mock-hurt. “You would do that to your wingman? Your dearest fling? Your most convenient friend with bene—”

Mal throws a pillow at his face and stalks out of the room.

—

Top Gun is somehow just as Nikolai remembers it, and a completely different beast at the same time. As soon as he steps onto the tarmac, the balmy San Diego air kisses his skin and makes him crave an ice-cold drink. Beside him, Mal slides on a pair of aviators and squints at the midday sun.

“That was the worst flight I’ve ever been on.”

“Mmmm, I don’t know,” Nikolai drawls. He grabs his bag from the ground and starts walking toward the building where all the brass have their offices. “I’ve been in your backseat before. It was a pretty harrowing experience. Almost made me want to change careers.”

“I’m hanging you out to dry on our next hop,” Mal threatens, but Nikolai knows it’s an empty threat. Mal has never left him behind. Not when it counted. 

The two of them check in with Juris, the grizzled Top Gun Air Boss who’s been stationed there for as long as Nikolai can remember, then take a meandering route to their assigned housing. They don’t see a single pilot other than themselves as they roam the halls, the sky quiet without the familiar roar of fighters overhead. It’s like walking through a ghost town.

By nightfall, the two of them end up at Genya’s seaside bar on an unspoken agreement. Nikolai convinces himself he’s there to scope out the competition, but it’s a pretty flimsy excuse when he knows exactly whom from the competition he wants to see. Mal eyes him as he takes another swig from his beer, and Nikolai ignores his stare. Mal really isn’t one to judge. Pot, kettle, black, however the saying goes. 

Speaking of competition—there’s plenty of it packed into the space. Pilots fill every available space, wings of gold gleaming in the dim lights. Nikolai recognizes a few he’s flown with before, and some from his Top Gun class. The Bataar twins are over at the dartboard, arguing over the points from the last round. Nadia Zhabin sips at a brightly colored drink, her pale eyes sharp and focused as she scans the room. Even the elusive Alina Starkov is there, forever a bright star that would much rather be a wallflower. She ignores the small wave he sends her way, almost as resolutely as Mal refuses to acknowledge the whole side of the room where she’s seated. Not for the first time, Nikolai wonders what exactly they did to each other.

Nikolai flags Genya’s attention from across the bar where she’d been serving another group of uniformed pilots. His former squadron-mate is as beautiful as ever with her flame-red hair and glowing smile. Her one amber eye is narrowed in amusement, a black eye patch embroidered with seagulls covering where the other should have been. A familiar twinge of guilt tickles the bottom of Nikolai’s stomach, but he ignores it as he grins at Genya.

“Another beer, please. And put it on Oretsev’s tab.”

“Absolutely not,” Mal interjects. “Put it on his own tab. We all know he can afford it.”

Genya laughs, and Nikolai catches a lovestruck look from David, her fiance, from across the room. Genya has always said her career had been worth both a successful business and a fiancee, but it’s the first time Nikolai has been able to believe her. He hides his smile behind the new bottle Genya hands him.

“I think he’s got you there, Nicky.” She leans in closer. “Zoya hasn’t shown up yet. Thought I’d save you a few minutes of looking around like a lost puppy.”

Nikolai takes a measured sip of beer. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh look, it’s Nazyalensky,” Mal deadpans. Nikolai’s head whips around so fast that it hurts. And sure enough, Zoya Nazyalensky is walking through the front doors. Nikolai feels like he’s suddenly been ejected from his jet, just miles of empty sky beneath him and no parachute to slow his fall.

Where to begin with Zoya Nazyalensky? She had been in and out of life like a summer hurricane, one summer there and then gone as quickly as she’d arrived with a path of destruction left behind her. Nikolai watches sullenly as the entire room’s attention seems to shift toward her. She looks better than ever in her pressed khakis, her dark hair pulled back into an elegant twist. Her eyes scan the room in disinterest before they pause in Nikolai’s vicinity. He swears his heart stops as she pauses a few steps away from him.

“Oretsev.” Her voice is just the same as he remembers. 

“Nazyalensky.”

Nikolai’s grip on his bottle tightens as Mal hops off his stool and slides an arm around Zoya’s waist. Genya sighs from behind the bar. 

Nikolai isn’t stupid. He knows about Mal and Zoya. But seeing is different from knowing. He watches as the two of them head for an empty pool table, then turns back to Genya. She has a distinctly sympathetic look that makes him feel pretty fucking pathetic.

“You got anything stronger?”

“On the house.”

—

“I think I can take it from here, Oretsev.” Nikolai says as he grabs the pool stick from his friend’s hands.

Mal raises his eyebrows in shock, a million questions dancing in his eyes, but he takes one glance to where Nikolai was actually looking and decides to relinquish his hold.

He shakes his head then sighs, “More and more convinced you have a death wish, Charming.”

Nikolai rolls his eyes, “Prince Charming. C’mon man, we’ve been working together for how long now?”

Mal didn’t say anything. He just took his lukewarm glass of beer and went to join Alina at the other side of the bar. 

“Lieutenant Nazyalensky.” He gives her his best grin, he knows it won’t work. “Good to see you”

“Lantsov, I should have known you’d be here.” Zoya’s voice was as frigid as always.

“You look good.” He said as he pocketed two of the solid pool balls on the right pocket. 

“I am good. I’m very good.” She scoffed then scanned the table for her next move. “Nice to see my sloppy seconds can enjoy one another.” 

Nikolai grinned, their toxic little love square they had going on, well, Mal was a good distraction, and he wasn’t sensitive enough, about that at least, to be bothered. He didn’t even mind that her shot had knocked two of his pieces in different directions and had one of her striped balls landing in another pocket. 

He took his time looking at the table, but he was really looking for an excuse. An excuse to round the corner and stand toe-to-toe with her. His hands not-so-casually resting on either side of her on the sleek wood of the pool table. She didn’t need to tilt that much to meet his gaze, and he tried not to think that from this distance, it would be easy to just kiss her senseless. 

It also didn’t help that she didn’t take a step back either.

Oh, the familiar smell of her was making his head light. His hands twitched on his pool stick, like they were considering actually just taking her face and press his lips to hers. He could have actually done more than kiss her in the middle of this bar. But he saw just how tense her shoulders were under that bravado. Or maybe he was just projecting because he could feel the rigidity in his own spine.

Their last conversation hadn’t been a pleasant one. Their parting even colder. And seeing her under these familiar yellow lights was making Nikolai way more aware of just how far she felt. Just how big the barrier between them was that made her that much more untouchable.

That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to push his luck, anyway.

He moved away and deliberately stepped around her so that his shoulder brushed hers. It was a cheap shot at getting the upper hand.

It was a pathetic excuse to touch her. 

He lined up his shot and managed to tie their score. 

But Zoya wasn’t looking at the game. Her dark blue eyes picked him apart. 

He wondered what she saw. If she could read just how tense he was with her around. If she could see how badly he still wanted her. If she could feel how terrified he was to see her here, at the start of an assignment that smelled too much like a suicide mission. 

“Your shot.” He said. 

It was loud in Genya’s bar. The evening crowd on a warm summer night created a symphony of bursts of laughter, stories being yelled over the music, and servicemen and women trading war tales. There was no reason for Nikolai to have heard Zoya say, “It was my shot.” But he did hear her, and their game of pool suddenly felt so small and insignificant.

She turned away from him then. She marched back to Mal who was suspiciously alone and shoved the stick into his hands before storming out of the bar. 

Mal came over, and Nikolai forced a smile that he knew that his friend didn’t buy.

“Came back to get your ass kicked?” He winked. Then threw his arm around his broad shoulders. “Maybe something more?” 

Mal didn’t take the bait. He chugged the rest of his drink, and started to reset the table. 

“We both have enough problems, Lantsov. Let’s try not to make things worse.” 

Nikolai shrugged, trying to ignore the feeling of Zoya’s eyes still on him. 

“Hasn’t stopped you before.” He tried again. 

His friend shot him a look, “Maybe I should have.” He glanced behind him to the direction Zoya had gone. “Maybe we both should have known when to stop.”

Nikolai felt his gut plummet as his past started to creep out of the locked box he kept all of his worst memories. And he finished his drink to shove them all down.

He forced a laugh as he broke the triangle of pool balls to start their game.

“Can we table this wildly depressing line of conversation until after I beat you? It wouldn’t be Top Gun without me smoking you. Right, Pocketknife?” 

Mal rolled his eyes, but Nikolai still noted just how tense his friend was. He didn’t know quite what happened between Mal and Alina, but based on his last…encounter…with her it didn’t seem good. 

He was almost tempted to accuse him of being an idiot who wasn’t brave enough to get what he actually wanted. But pots shouldn’t be calling kettles black. 

Nikolai couldn’t help but glance at the door. He turned around and caught Zoya’s hand brush against Alina’s platinum blonde hair. He hesitated to call it affectionate, but it was…something. She leaned closer to the other girl, her lips just brushing the corner of Alina’s jaw. 

A flare of jealousy that was unfounded went through Nikolai, and was only abated when Alina met Zoya’s eyes in a sad kind of resignation. She shook her head and squeezed her hand in sympathy.

Zoya seemed to roll her eyes and walk off with her head shaking slightly. Nikolai wondered what that was about. Then he reminded himself that it wasn’t any of his business. Instead, he focused back on Mal. He focused on ignoring the empty ache that was more present with the absence of the flare of jealousy. 

So, they just played the night away and then when that wasn’t enough, Nikolai took to the keys with Mal drunk and singing off key next to him. Both of them ignoring the burn of old heartaches, and the chill of an uncertain future.

[itsnotunfinisheditsmystyle]

Thanks for the tag @esssteee

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 44

2. What's your total A03 words count? 293,192

3. What fandoms do you write for? Right now Grishaverse, in the past also One Piece, Demon Slayer, Kuroko no Basuke, Assassination Classroom, Magi the Labyrinth of Magic, Hades (Video Game),

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Interrogation (Assassination Classroom, Karushuu) ; To Be Human (Demon Slayer, Renkaza) ; Through Time and Space (One Piece, gen) ; Midnight (Assassination Classroom, Karushuu) ; Maths (Assassination Classroom, Karushuu)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Not systematically, to be fair it depends a lot on my mood / energy level, and also if I feel like there's something to answer!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'd say it's definitely The monster is you, and I am your monster (warning: non con) where Nikolai after, well, you saw the warning, definitely loses his personhood and body to the nichevo'ya possessing him.

Although I think it's interesting to point out that the other two fics I have with angsty endings are Almost, where Nikolai nearly dies and thinks he's going to join Dominik but actually he is forced back to the world of the living by...Losing his personhood and body to the nichevo'ya possessing him. And Rot, where Nikolai deals with...The loss of his personhood and body to the nichevo'ya possessing him (through the power of a nice healthy wrist stroke).

There might be a pattern

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I got so many happy endings because I am a sucker so Imma say Afterglow (Nikolai/Alina/Aleksander/Zoya) where there's literally none of that war nonsense, just four happy people in love (and Nikolai does not have to deal with the loss of his personhood and body to the nichevo'ya not possessing him).

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really, happened a few times in the past

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I'd never write smut who do you think I am

(all kinds)

(except that one thing the darkolai server knows I'll never write)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

When I was 11 I wrote a Shugo Chara X Fullmetal Alchemist cross over and also one of those multiverse High school settings fics and that was it for life

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes, in another life, on another fic website

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also yes in another life, on another fic website

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yes, in another life, on another fic website, never again

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Probably Darkolai, but also it's hard to pick, I'm pure multishipper trash

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I am delusional enough to believe I'm going to finish them all eventually

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I have a good sense of humour and am good at characterisation

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Pacing, nice prose like the kind I love to read.

(respecting the deadlines I myself set)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I have too much PTSD from all the pseudo French I see on this website, I will not inflict this upon anyone. Words peppered here and there ok but not dialogue.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Naruto.

I hadn't read Naruto. Or watched. Still haven't.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Ironically because I should really finish writing it, it's probably A Song of Thievery But also it's the closest to original writing I have, since let's face it I'm using characters who barely exist in the original universe. I guess I love my fanfics but I also like writing my own stuff lmao

(But also Théâtre d'Ombres remains my smut magnus opus)

Tagging:

Esteee literally already tagged all my mutuals.

[the-loosest-moose]

CHAPTER 4 NOW UP!

Dr. Zoya Nazyalensky had always prided herself on being able to manage everything with ruthless efficiency. Work might be demanding, and her schedule might be punishing, but her routine was ultimately simple and structured. Predictable. And she had intended to keep it that way. But since unexpectedly becoming the legal guardian of her cousin Lada, Zoya’s life has gotten messy. She hasn’t been able to hide behind work, and Lada has needed her to be nurturing in a way that’s never come easily to her. Zoya is just beginning to feel comfortable with her new routine, her new life, when Lada begins scheming. Lada’s new science teacher Dr. Nikolai Lantsov is popular among students, and Lada thinks he would be perfect for Zoya. Zoya and Nikolai heartily disagree, but despite their best attempts to foil Lada’s plans, they become good friends. Though they are determined not to complicate things further, feelings eventually get in the way.

[dandeliononthemoon]

If you're still doing prompts, #27 for zoyalai with a bit of #1 and #43?

Thank you so much for the request, anon <3

This has become hurt/comfort, when I actually just planned comfort for you lol but well

Anyway i had fun writing and i hope you enjoy!!

p.s.: I kid you not anon, when i was writing this i realized i had dreamt this, that i was writing this fic, and i got even more excited so i really hope you enjoy it

Fandom: Grishaverse

Pairing: Zoya Nazyalensky x Nikolai Lantsov

Prompt(s): 1. Small kisses littered across the other’s face, 27. Kisses exchanged while one person sits on the other’s lap, 43. A kiss pressed to te top of the head

Words: 970

number(s) + pairing = drabble for you!

i still take requests up until 4 dec, so if you have been wondering about a certain kissing headcanon, i could fulfil your dream by writing it!

Most days, Nikolai felt as confident as he showed it on the outside. Some days, he didn’t.

On those days, he compensated for it by being over confident. People often enough didn’t see the difference, so he knew that it worked.

Today was one of those days.

His whole life he had spent not quite fitting in. Not quite receiving as much love as he thought he deserved. Except for Dominik and later Zoya, he never had someone who he could feel so deeply for, and had been on the receiving end of that love.

Sometimes, the insecurities crept in. He wondered often when Zoya would leave, for someone better, maybe more deserving of her affections. He always anticipates her not staying the next day, but she always does.

Today, as he was sitting on the chair of their dressing table, he watched Zoya getting ready for a dinner party they had organized.

She was wearing a sleeveless deep blue velvety gown, with a mermaid shape that beautifully accentuated her curves. The dress goes on to pool around her feet.

He knew, that everyone was going to stare at her, just the way he did now. There might even be someone, who is more charming, nicer, funnier than him that Zoya would probably go with him. And he would gladly let her, if she wanted that.

Right now, she was looking in the big mirror on their closet, trying to fit her diamond earrings.

Zoya noticed Nikolai staring at her through the mirror. “What are you thinking?”

Her voice pulled him out of his thoughts. He blinked a few times before quickly producing a convincing smile, he hoped it was convincing. “Nothing darling, I was just thinking how beautiful you look”

“That is not nothing” she smirked and turned around, having finished putting her earring into place.

“And that is not what you were thinking”

She proceeded to go sit on his lap, putting her arm around his neck and placing the other on his face, making him turn his face towards her. He put one hand on her back and one on her thigh, distractedly rubbing circles with his thumb. He did that when he was thinking about something. Zoya also noticed his eyes drooping and his smile not exactly radiant, which it was every time he genuinely smiled. It was too bright. There was some weariness in his eyes.

“Are you okay? Should we cancel the party” Zoya looked into his eyes with concern.

“Oh no, you shouldn’t cancel the party on my account. Besides, there is not even anything” he waved his hand as if to brush away her concern, with a too bright voice.

“Honey, we have been together for so long and have gone through so much. I think I know when you aren’t in your best mood”

She sighed. “They say it is good to share concerns, it lessens the burden” she implied.

“But of course you don’t need to talk about it just yet” Zoya was brushing over his cheekbones.

Nikolai looked downward and took an uneven breath.

“I-“, He exhaled and started again. ”It is quite stupid, but I can’t help and feel that someday, you will choose to not love me anymore”. He turned his head away as he said it. “As so many others did”, he added with a small, soft voice, a blush creeping up on his face.

Her heart twisted.

“I mean if that did happen and you chose to walk away, I would not stop you. Saints, I can’t even believe you have stayed for as long as you did”, he looked down again, “I just-“ he got cut off by a soft pressure on his lips.

“Okay, first of all, you are stupid”, Zoya said with a hard voice and an equally intense look. She couldn’t believe he was still thinking this way. Not that she could exactly blame him, with the family he had and the life he grew up in, it was hard to let go of this anxiety. It make her feel a rush of emotions for him, all in one second.

“Second of all, I am never leaving. I thought we vowed on that”

“People can easily break promises”, he interrupted softly.

“I wasn’t done”, she huffed.

“Third, I love you”, Zoya emphasized every word.

He looked up at that.

“What? You are surprised? D’you want confirmation?”, she asked with some annoyance.

She then kissed him on the forehead, with as much tenderness as much anger she spoke in.

Her lips trailed around his face, leaving little pecks along his forehead, going on to his temple, moving to his cheekbones and the hollow of his cheek, to his jaw, chin, all the way around. Then she hovered around his lips, ”I love you, okay you dumbass? I love you”

Zoya brushed her lips on his, softly grabbing his upper lip and kissing across it, kissing the corner, going down to the lower lip, leaving kisses across there as well and the other corner.

His hands moved around her, possessively curving around her waist and pressing himself against her. Zoya had often enough said ‘I love you’, but whenever she did, his heart would make a jump, not quite believing she means it. But she does. And she’s proven that many times. As she was doing now.

They pulled away, resting their foreheads against each other.

“Thank you”, Nikolai whispered.

“You are welcome, but why?”

“For sticking around, for staying with me, for loving me”

He could feel Zoya’s smile and she gave a quick peck as she said, “You can thank me properly later, but for now we need to get going, we don’t want to upset our guests”

He smiled now too, feeling a little bit more confident.

“Yes, let’s go”

[zemenipearls]

Where Demons Roam [link]

Despite swearing never again to visit the ancient mountains in Virginia, Zoya finds herself accompanying her girlfriend Alina and their friends to Appalachia, where Dominik is doing research for his dissertation. David has left a pregnant Genya back home, but can't pass on the opportunity for his own studies. The friends must reckon with their own trauma and past as an ancient demon in the woods awakens, with a thirst for blood. They must fight against themselves and the monster itself if they want to escape.

TW: Troubled Teen Industry, Opioid Epidemic, General Horror Tropes, Implied Past Sexual Assault

Thank you to my incredible @grishaversebigbang gang, go check out their works!

beta: @darklesmychuckles and @ahodgepodgeofthings

art: @trassellynn [x]

art: @lizzybizzyart [x]

art: @gigi-drxws [x]

art: @jjelliacee [x]

art: @kavinskysdick [x]

art: @alittleartistic [x]

[maroon-book-dragon]

Grishaverse Ship War

Alright everyone! We are one ship short for the next round. So, I'm bringing back a ship. Below are some of the loosers from the closest polls (and one more that I just can't bear to let go). However, if someone requests a different ship and it gets enough notes, I'll put that one in instead. No Mourners, No Funerals!