#zuala very specifically did not ask yasha to come for protection

[stardustedknuckles]

Yasha’s relationship to Zuala was distinct in many ways from her relationship to Beau and I don’t mean to conflate the two necessarily, but I quite enjoyed that Zuala was every bit the playful troublemaker I hoped she’d be, the complement to a zealous and rule-abiding Yasha. Because I think that’s what Yasha glimpsed underneath Beau’s stoicism for so long - in the rare moments she let her guard down, just enough to swipe at a moment of something like enjoyment, she was very much similar. Whether it was punching Fjord, heckling Caleb, or planning chaos, the Beau Yasha saw long before Beau knew how much she was giving away was so very much like Zuala. Zuala chafed under authority in a way that never occurred to Yasha. Zuala got the two of them in trouble and grinned “worth it” and Yasha realized it was. Zuala was quicker and knew Yasha would never scratch her and Zuala was kind above all else.

So yeah. The Yasha we met may have been broken, may have gone from someone who aspired to be a great leader to someone waiting to be told what to do, but her will to live wasn’t the only thing that couldn’t be snuffed. The things she learned to love about Zuala, the parts of her Yasha kept closest and missed the most, were so much of who Beau was when she forgot to be surly and distant.

A lot of those traits were there in Jester too, and even Nott, but there was something about Beau specifically that called to Yasha even as they both kept up their guards. I have to imagine that hearing about Tori settled one of those mysteries for Yasha and simultaneously hooked her that little bit further because it wasn’t until then that either of them knew enough about the other to make any real connection. At that moment, Yasha was so quick to validate Beau when she started trying to say that it wasn’t the same as losing a wife and so on - it wasn’t the same, but it was something that clicked. An indication that on some level, Beau really did get this very specific grief because it wasn’t that they lost someone, it’s that this person was forcibly ripped from them. By a parent, a leader at that. By fate, even. It wasn’t just the grief of being without Zuala or Tori, because that’s where the difference is of wife vs maybe-girlfriend. It wasn’t about that. It was the grief that they weren’t strong enough to keep something terrible from happening to someone they cared about. Skyspear killed Zuala and saw no reason Yasha shouldn’t continue on her path. Thoreau removed Tori from Beau’s life with the same expectation that things would carry on as they had.

Idk, I just really appreciate that the same traits that got Beau rejected by her family were the traits that got Zuala killed by hers. So much of Yasha wishes she could have stopped what happened to Zuala - she had even seen it coming, if only as an anxiety - but Zuala made her choice and didn’t need Yasha to agree or to save her. I liked that she understood why Yasha would not cross Skyspear, she knew what fate Yasha feared, and she did not get upset with her. She simply said “then I will do it” and no part of that required anything of Yasha. She died knowing full well the price of breaking the rules. There was nothing for Yasha to do.

And I like how that translated to Beau in the end, because Yasha was very clear that she wanted to protect her family while also understanding that they were capable on their own. It would have been so easy to become someone who stepped in for Beau or any of them too much, to have grown into someone who overlooked the Nein’s own capabilities in the name of preventing bad things from happening to them. But I think part of learning to forgive herself for what happened to Zuala (and part of not pursuing a resurrection) was the understanding that Zuala had accepted the possible consequences before she made her choice and she made it all the same. There was nothing Yasha could have done and nothing Zuala would have asked of her. She was very clear: the risk of death was worth the reward of the change she believed in. 

This whole time, by Yasha’s recollection, we have assumed there was a formal execution. Plenty of chances for Yasha to step in, to stop it (whether that was even feasible or not) only for her to run instead as her wife was killed. That last part is how Yasha saw things for a long time. But now we know - the only thing Yasha could have done differently was... overcome the years - the lifetime - of conviction that Skyspear was immutable, the brainwashing that she was chosen by the gods and the final authority, and so on. No big deal, right? Of fucking course it was a big deal - because that is what it would have taken to go with Zuala and explain this together, and that was not a reasonable request for Zuala to make of her. So she didn’t, and this too was a form of love. It would have been so easy to have had Zuala question Yasha’s commitment to their relationship, but she left to talk to Skyspear knowing exactly why Yasha could not follow and accepting that bringing about this change was her task - and it did indeed happen, but not in Skyspear. In Yasha.

And I really like that it changed Yasha so profoundly that even when she was a shell of who she’d been, part of her still recognized and was drawn to the qualities in Beau that had caused Zuala’s death - except this time, Yasha’s ready to fight for the world to know who she loves. This time, after all these months growing with the Nein and finding her new family, neither she nor Beau will be a pawn of fate. This time, all of Yasha’s choices are her own and she will choose her family and her love every single chance she gets.

[tiamat-zx]

How about Yasha?

An anon ALSO asked for Yash, so okay! Let’s do it!

Why I like them

She’s just as much an extension of Ashley Johnson as Pike was. In fact, she’s also very much like Ellie in TLOU: a vengeful sapphic that you do NOT want to cross as she is very protective of her loved ones. Also, she’s a very different kind of barbarian: one who hates being forced to fight and is weary of it, and who is deep down just the gentlest and sweetest radiant soul of an angelkin. And her rage is very much like a storm itself: slow and rumbling until the inevitable thunderclap that precedes the lightning strike of her blade.

She also became the first player character to undergo an entire subrace change: from a fallen aasimar to a protector.

WHAT I don’t like

Ashley’s numerous absences due to Blindspot as it left Yasha as little more than someone to jaeger and therefore she wasn’t able to truly participate in RP. It took until the show’s conclusion for her to finally come home and truly spread Yasha’s wings and show us the full extent of her character.

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

A bit of a two-fer.

First favorite episode: “A Storm of Memories”. The episode where we learned our first true glimpse into Yasha’s past, including the existence of Zuala and the first tease of Obann’s presence. It was the first time we could see past the perceived “metal goth angel” vibe to see who she is: a broken bird wanting to fly again.

And the second favorite episode: “Into the Eye”. Her dreamscape trial against the Stormlord’s elementals. The moment she fully embraced her purpose as his Avatar. She had desperately been seeking purpose, and had been wanting to establish her standing with the Stormlord. And then when he finally asked her The Question, “Where do you find your strength?”, she did not hesitate. She knew her purpose, had known it ever since the night before her date with Beau: to protect. It gave her the resolve to persist against the odds and survive the rest of the campaign.

And speaking of, I have to include a third: “Worth Fighting For”. Yes, the date night. Specifically, the moment she finally confessed her feelings to Beau and let herself be just as open and vulnerable as her partner was aiming to be.

Favorite season/movie

The Rumblecusp arc and the last few episodes before the pandemic. It showed us the beginning of her reconstruction and rebirth, manifesting in the harp performance in Vo and her dream where she gained her wings, forever shedding her fallen self and ascending into the protector she was meant to be. Also, it was the arc where she began to come to terms with her feelings for Beau. Slowly but surely, through small moments, up to the maiden flight. From there, those feelings that had begun to sprout since Kamordah continued to grow.

If anything, Rumblecusp was a turning point for many of the Nein. Yasha was someone that needed it most.

Favorite line

Is it wrong of me to say that my favorite line of Yasha’s would be the entire letter she wrote for Beau?

Aside from that, it would be what she said to Beau upon admitting her feelings: “I really care about you, and I just hope, if anything, that you know I’m… I'm so proud of the person that you've become. Just seeing where you started and where you are now, you have completely done that on your own. And I just, I'm-- You blow me away.”

Favorite outfit

Her Eiselcross outfit, with the Coat of the Crest.

OTP

Beauyasha, obviously. And of course, her first love, Zuala. I wouldn’t be doing her justice had I NOT acknowledged her. And PURELY on the platonic side, with Molly, as he was just as much a loved one as Zuala and Beau and he left an equally strong impact on her life.

Brotp

With Caleb. They are able to relate so well, both being Haunted Ones. Also, with Jester and Veth as a fellow chaos gremlin.

Head Canon

I believe her level 10 outfit was given to her by Obann, and he burned her old attire but spared her shawl intentionally, just to twist the knife on purpose. And while we don’t see her arms in her level 13 art due to the coat, I think she tore the sleeves from her level 10 outfit so she could have the Orphanmaker tattoo visible. But eventually, after the campaign, she disposed of the leathers entirely and began wearing plain clothes altogether and even got herself a haircut.

Also, she is taught druidic magic upon finally meeting Reani for the first time, to help supplement her gardening.

Unpopular opinion

She did not need a proper “arc” as she willingly didn’t want to go back to the Iothia Moorlands… at least until the finale where she went with Beau to find Zuala’s grave. As far as she was concerned, the past should remain in the past. And she chose to keep it that way by not seeking vengeance on the tribe and choosing to live in peace.

Also, “lifespan angst” is such a stupid thing to fuss over with them. Sure, Yasha WILL outlive Beau, but she will still be happy to spend as much of their life together as possible. And she wouldn’t have it any other way.

A wish

I wish for her and Beau to live a peaceful life for the rest of their days.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

For her and Beau to ever suffer a breakup.

5 words to best describe them

Angel, protector, lover, sapphic, sentinel.

My nickname for them

The “wolf” to Beau’s “lion”.

[cadykeus-clay]

Would you mind sharing your thoughts about vex and Beau being cross campaign foils?

so!!!! first things first: apologies for taking weeks to answer this, finals + having adhd sometimes makes my brain turn to mush and forget every ask ive ever recieved. second of all, i’m assuming you sent me this bc of what i said in my vm vs. m9 how they view the world meta. and i’ll be real with you. i have exactly 0 memory of what was going through my head when i wrote that line, so i am simply going to type out a bunch of thoughts that i have on the similarities and differences between beau and vex and i hope that lives up to what you were expecting jsdflksjdksld

I'll detail some specifics in a moment, but overall, I think beau and vex share a very similar kind of trauma of exclusion in their formative years, that's caused them to have a lot of similar traits that manifest in different ways - for vex, she maintains control through her material posessions and beau finds an emotional control in her asshole-ness. I've broken this down into 5 points on which I think comparing the two really emphasizes that claim:

1. daddy issues: both beau and vex have awful no good terrible very bad dads. both syldor and thoreau can suck my ass. they both raised their kids with little love and impossible-to-meet expectations, alientating them and leaving them with lifelong feelings of inferiority and unbelonging. If beau and vex were to meet, i think they would have a very friendly toast to shitty dads, and then have a good drunk vent about it an hour later.

but, at the same time, the actual minutae of their trauma and the ways it manifests are nearly polar opposites. syldor wanted nothing to do with vex, or else wanted her to somehow become a full elf. her issue was that she would never be able to belong, despite her desire to, and as she grew up it lead to her being overly protective and even possessive of the people she found who DID accept her as she was. 

With beau, rather than exclusion, her father created an environment of toxic inclusion. He created a role for beau to belong in, disregarding her distate for actually fulfilling it. And, as such, she ended up making herself into someone who could have no expectations and pushed away anyone who tried to set them up for her. In the end, they both came to love themselves by abandoning the woman their father wanted them to be but for vex it was the laying down of an impossible dream and for beau it was the picking up of a mantle she had feared to wear.

2. brothers: now, on the topic of family, I also think its really interesting how their interactions with their brothers play out. We've got vex and vax, tied at the hip til the very end and then some; and then we've got beau and TJ - decades apart and with beau barely acknolwedging TJ's existence. But, even that distance between beau and TJ didn't stop her caring for him when they actually met. She gave him lucky Jade, and she entertained the idea of kidnapping him to get him away from her stinko dad. 

And I'd espeically like to talk about what she said outside the hag's hut - "I think Luc and TJ could be best friends", in comparison to the way Vex reacted when Vax told her was going to Zephrah with Keyleth for the year break. There's an aspect to the way they interact with their brothers that lets them slip back into those bad habits they formed growing up (NOT that i'm claiming vex and vax were like toxic for each other. but even good relationships can have unhealthy moments). 

With Beau, when she offers to give her happiness so TJ can grow up safe, she's trying to take on the role she's ""supposed"" to fill - the big sister, the protector - because she failed to fill the one her father set out. And with Vex, when she grows jealous of Vax, it's because she's afraid that his leaving with keyleth is a sign that she no longer belongs in his inner circle, and she falls back on that childish, desperate desire to do anything to be accepted unconditionally. 

3. romance: spoilers for 5 or so most recent m9 eps (115-120)  if you haven't watched them ahead!!!! at this point, both vex and beau have an endgame romance - percy and yasha respectively. Obviously as the m9's campaign is still playing out, that could change, but like. yasha wrote her a love letter and they're officially going on a date so i'm counting that as at least endgame-track rather than just random flirting. What's interesting to me is that they both seem to flip between the SAME roles between their (in-game) general perception and their actual pursual of romance. 

Vex gets characterized as a pretty big flirt, right? She's got the winks, the casual "darling". She's flashed grog her boobs on multiple instances with little prompting. Beau, similarly, has easily the most game out of anyone in the m9. She's slept with two guest characters and at least one more npc in the events of the game. Caleb made her a fuck mirror in her room in the mansion. And yet, in both of their actual romantic endeavors, they became the shy, uncertain type. 

Vex only confessed her feelings when Percy was laying dead before her, and not an hour of game play before percy kissed her in the woods, she had a talk with vax about how she was pretty sure he didn't like her that way and she didn't want to pursue it. Beau, similarly, spent a very long time convinced that yasha wasn't looking for love after zuala, especially not in anyone like her, asked everyone in the party if they thought yasha ACTUALLY liked her, just to be safe, and then still terrified to ask her out after recieving a literal love letter. I'd argue this shift comes from that same sense of unbelonging - they're very good at pretending they fit a role but doubt their actual right to take it when the opportunity is presented. This time, the role is the lover rather than the daughter.

4. authority: Both vex and beau grew up shunned by the upper crust of society, and grew to mistrust those kinds of people. And yet, both of their arcs result in them assuming such a position. Vex, thrown out of high society gets her place as a baronness, and Beau, running from leadership of her father's business ends up a top member of the Cobalt Soul. There's not a lot here, but I find it interesting how both of their stories involve them shedding their baggage regarding authority and power and assuming it in a way that they feel comfortable in - invitation by someone she trusts for vex, and a promise of freedom of will and control for beau.

5. their deadliest sins: this is the point at which their similarities culminate and transform to a fundamental difference. despite everything they share - shitty childhoods, the small piece of family that's still good, flirtiness masking shy love, and a mistrust of those in power - vex and beau are such different characters because of their biggest vices. Vex, both in game and out, is "the greedy one". She's stingy with money, she haggles for everything, she mourns the loss of physical objects. Beau is "the mean one". She cares little for people's feelings if they're not in her immediate circle, she focuses on her tough guy image, she laughs at things she knows she shouldn't. 

And, over the course of the campaign, as they find unconditional acceptance, they grow away from these traits (I won't say they grow out of them) because they heal from the things causing these vices to begin with. I've always been vocal about vex's greed being a manifestation of her class insecurity, and beau's asshole-ness stemming from her fear of being forced back into another position of complacency. And I stand by that now - all the similarities in their backstories are what tally up to these different women.

Despite her careful tally of party funds and her reflexive bargaining, vex is not cruel. she is not angry on her own behalf. She saves two boys from the market in the city of brass at great personal cost, she relinquishes an entire dragon's hoard to the devastated city of Westruun, she took the time to save a baby bear from a cage when she could have just cut and run after escaping her own. She's the first one most people go to when they need a shoulder to cry on, and she's devastated when they don't (thinkin about when Scanlan left). She carved "forgiveness" into the bow she stole from a man after killing him by proclaiming how much she loved someone, because she knew anger had no place in her heart.

And Beau, Beau is a bitch and she's harsh, but she doesn't hoard or protect like vex did. she spends her money without much of a second thought. She pitches in to help her friends buy a ton of glowsticks, and she loves to indulge in material desires like drink and good food and the nicer inn room. She's a member of an organization that's about making knowledge public rather than guarding it. And, though this may be controversial, I think her position with bowlgate of "its not our problem what cali wants to do with it", her long-standing mistrust of their alliance with the bright queen and  and more recently with the tomb takers of "i want to go in and talk, rather than assuming they're antagonistic, even if it puts us at a disadvantage" are both examples of this non-possessiveness too - she has no need or desire to get involved in controlling what other people are doing.

so, i guess the general conclusion here is: vex struggles to let go of things, of money, of people. beau struggles to let herself be known in case she gets wrongly interpreted again. they both fight feelings of inadequacy, they both fight the feelings of not belonging, of 'doing it wrong', they fight the perception of them as shitty people because of the shells they hide in despite their absolute hearts of gold.  but at the end of the day, vex's story is one of having to lay down what could never be hers so she can carry what is, and beau's story is one of allowing herself to be known so a place can be made for her.

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E59 (Apr. 23, 2019)

Travis is unfortunately under the weather and couldn’t make it, but tonight’s guests are Ashley Johnson and Taliesin Jaffe!

This speaks to me.

Announcements: The Kickstarter campaign is over, but the Kickstarter close party with Joel Hodgson is up. Brian confirms that the six-shots-in-five-minutes bit was iced tea (”If we’d actually had that many shots, we’d all sound like Marisha did.”). Travis Willingham’s Yeehaw Game Ranch will be back next week (Brian: “This universe is expanding in a way that’s making me uncomfortable.” Dani: “I’m afraid for both of your souls.”).

This week, it’s Episode 59: Perspective!

Stats for this week: Yasha rolled the 500th player critical roll of this campaign! It was a natural 20 attack against a babau demon. This episode also marked the first NPC HDYWTDT.

Ashley mentions that Brian wrote her roast of Sam, and she loved every minute of it. 

Brian asks for the music to be brought up a little. In response, the crew cranks it up to excessive levels. Brian: “I love everyone in this building.”

Everyone’s plotting revenge on Travis for jumping out from behind a door to scare them on set a while ago, especially now that the haunted house stretch goal has been met. Taliesin: “There’s not a haunted house he can choose in Los Angeles where I don’t know somebody. He’s fucked.”

Ashley’s decision to charge in against the giants. “I do think, with Yasha, which I’m still figuring out with her, is once she’s engaged in combat it’s hard for her to pull out. (It’s hard for her to PullOutKing.)” She’s enjoying exploring the impulsive side of her class. “Also, that was a little bit prompted by Travis.” She was leaning towards it anyway, but Travis tipped the balance.

Taliesin clarifies that Caduceus is not a pacifist. “He felt that this wasn’t the most advantageous action to take.” He was looking for the path of least resistance that would work out best for everyone. “He wouldn’t have had a second thought about grinding them down into paste if it had come down to it.”

On being close to Yasha’s home turf: “It’s not a place that she’s ready to go back to, because she ran away from there for a very specific reason. She owes her tribe a death, basically, because of what she did.” She’s mainly trying to keep a low profile. She’s also never been this far north in Xhorhas. “She’s cautious. As long as they don’t go South, she might be okay.” She is enjoying things like the familiar food and landscapes, and sharing that a little bit with the others.

Ashley talks about how it feels weirdly private to have your backstory come out in the game. “I think, for me, sitting at the table, these players are very good, and it’s so fun to sit at the table, but it is intimidating.” It’s a combination of wanting to find your groove before the backstory comes out and also feeling strangely protective of it. Taliesin agrees, and adds that you have to do math during it, too.

She also points out that in the first campaign, they didn’t realize how significant their backstories would become in the game (although Taliesin had played with Matt before and knew what to expect).

No Gif of the Week this week. There won’t be one for a while, because “something interesting” is in the works... “A new giveaway, a new contest, for something that isn’t gifs.” Ashley’s a big fan of this mysterious new idea.

Caduceus enjoyed being the face of the party. “Oh man, he loves talking to people. It’s one of the things he actually enjoys, is finding people who want to converse. He’s a big fan of a conversation with stakes.” He’d be more involved if he felt like he really understood the situation more often.

Ashley enjoys some natural ones because they can push you in an interesting direction where you’re not necessarily the hero. The nat 1 stealth roll that started the giant battle led to Ashley better understanding Yasha’s impulsiveness: “Well, I’m out here now, so I gotta finish the fight.”

Clay’s aware of the dispositions of the group he’s with, and he knows his role is to “kind of be Jiminy Cricket. Let’s maybe not murder everyone we-- let’s maybe murder half of everybody we meet.” He’s very aware that Caleb’s more inclined to leave bodies than witnesses. But “serving life”, as his philosophy, is about allowing life to thrive, which can require death and rebirth. “He’s got feelings about everybody, but he sees a lot of potential in Caleb, if he can get his head screwed on straight. He’s not always right about these things, but...”

Yasha is worried about potentially coming across her tribe again. “They have every right to kill her. Yasha thinks that as well. She still feels very cowardly in the decision that she made to run. I don’t know how she would respond to that if she did see them.” She would love to visit Zuala’s grave, but “she ran away during the whole ceremony when Zuala was being executed. The last time she saw her, she was alive, so it’s one of those things where it’s hard to visit a gravesite because then it feels final.” Ouch. Part of her is preparing for that inevitable moment by collecting the flowers. “There’s more there. There’s such a small amount of Yasha’s backstory that we have.”

Fan Art of the Week! Yasha, Jester, Beau, Nott, and flowers.

There’s a brief Babysitter’s Club digression. (Personal shame moment: As a small child, I once got to meet a very famous author I had never heard of at the time (name redacted to preserve my dignity), and promptly asked him if he’d ever met Ann M. Martin because they both lived in NYC.)

This giveaway is Henry-approved! But things go off the rails.

“This is a show about a D&D game. Can we have some god damn professionalism?”

“DO NOT LIGHT MY DOG ON FIRE”

Yasha’s attitude toward seeing Nott’s reunion with her husband is bittersweet, but fundamentally she’s seeing it as “a sign that good things can still happen”. Taliesin: “We’ll find a way to flip that all around. Just give us time.”

Ashley’s actively going to work on finding something to increase Yasha’s AC. “I got hit, I think, every time.”

Cad does miss his siblings and his parents. “The whole dynamic that he had, he misses. But that ended, no matter how complicated or uncomplicated that was, a while ago. He has to assume that what he is doing right now is the best way to find them.” It’s not his whole goal, but if he does what he’s doing, “everybody gets to come home”. He “honestly hasn’t thought about it much”.

The conversation Yasha had about fate with Caduceus was a bit of a turning point for her. She looks at Jester’s very personal relationship with the Traveler, and Caduceus following the Wildmother in a well-developed but impersonal way, “and so for Yasha, it’s still this very new thing for her to-- she doesn’t quite know what faith is yet, or know what it means to fully put your faith in something. She’s taking it day by day and hour by hour, waiting for a sign, because that’s what she thinks the connection is at this point.” There’s more to it that will be explored in-game.

Brian re: the Traveler: “I think it’s some Fight Club shit.”

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E62 (May 14, 2019)

The pre-roll summarizes last week’s episode well:

[id: A picture of a small pink toy house with sides that fold out and an oven that looks like just a great little sticker with a picture of something delicious cooking in the oven. Now I’m hungry. end id]

Fresh off their takeover of the Yee-haw Game Ranch, tonight’s guests are Laura Bailey and Ashley Johnson!

Brian’s camera angle has to be adjusted to accommodate his extra-floofy hair.

Announcements: In place of the Gif of the Week contest, there is now a Cosplay of the Week contest, and there will also be a cosplay gallery! Only individual cosplay photos will be considered for the Cosplay of the Week since there can only be one winner (group photos are fine for the gallery!). More info here. Art and cosplay submission has changed! Instead of e-mailing, you can now SUBMIT by visiting critrole.com/submit. Wyrmwood will be sponsoring both contests going forward.

Episode 62: Domestic Respite

Jester has cast Sending 38 times, making it her second-most-used spell after Cure Wounds.

It’s been roughly 3.5 months since Jester and Nott sent their letter to the Academy. Laura: “Oh no. That’s a long time that things could have happened behind the scenes.”

Dani, speaking for so many: “Ashley, you’re perfect, and I just want you on the show all the time.”

Jester likes having a roommate, and Laura thinks Beau also likes having one. "I think it’s a really nice partnership, that they get along really, really well.”

Yasha getting the balcony room was for a couple reasons: “sleeping under a roof like that is obviously a very new thing for Yasha” and also “from experience, from what she knows up until this point, is that she communes with her god outside”. She thinks he might be an “outside god”, but isn’t sure whether he comes indoors. Now I’m picturing a god with a doggy door.

Ashley was tempted by Caduceus’ space, but she didn’t want to steal his thunder. “I think there will be nights where Yasha will probably go in there to sleep at night.”

Laura: “I can paint you a hammock for the tree!”

Jester genuinely does want to make people happy, but “I think that desire comes from fear, probably, of disappointing people and of them not wanting to be around her. She grew up with expectations on her, and upon herself, maybe, that she put there. She equates that to being loved, and keeping that love.”

Brian asks about Laura’s inspiration for that idea, and Laura talks about how it wound up being a pretty natural evolution of the character once she started embodying her and fleshing her out a little more.

Yasha’s “very much struggling with the love that people give her, and so I think in terms of the house and everything, it’s obviously a weird thing.” Before Jester came in to decorate the room, Yasha wasn’t planning on putting anything in that room; it was going to be a bare-bones living space and nothing more. “It was just another moment of, this is a family, and they all care about each other, and Jester wanting to make Yasha happier, doing something nice, that was a beautiful little moment.” There’s some conflicting feelings. “I don’t know how long she’s going to last in that room.”

Laura points out that everyone in the group shares that feeling of not being deserving of affection. Ashley: “Do we all just feel that, secretly, and then put that in our characters?”

Laura has some ideas about decorating the other rooms that she doesn’t want to bring up in case they come up in-game. The only person she doesn’t have ideas for is Fjord, because he specifically asked her not to. She’s not sure what his deal is with the house. “He’s playing it very close to the chest.”

Blindspot’s been renewed for one more season. Ashley stares directly into the camera: “And then I’m home.”

They make a joke about a spinoff when Ashley’s character inevitably turns out to be the real villain on the show. Brian, staring directly into the camera: “And it shoots in Los Angeles.”

Yasha’s feelings of not being a full member of the M9 and often having to play catch-up (Ashley: “Not the condiment.”) is partially a reflection of Ashley’s feelings, but she thinks it’s something that may change given some time. “Obviously, everybody showing love towards each other is breaking down everybody in a good way.”

Jester originally just wanted to put a peephole in the wall “so she could spy on Fjord”. But then she told him, and things kind of spiraled from there in a way she hadn’t intended. Dani: “None of it was dirty... except for the initial idea.”

Lo, Henry is slain by the pineapple:

[id: Henry having a well-deserved snooze with a thoroughly mangled pineapple dog toy on top of him. end id]

Yasha’s getting more comfortable with sharing her past. “But a lot of that was sort of out of knowing that I have a little bit of a limited time at home. But I think it was at a point where we kind of had to discuss it. There’s still a lot that hasn’t been talked about, so that’s still the surface part of the story. It definitely has gotten to the point with them where she did feel comfortable confessing that with them. ‘Yeah, I’m a coward. Here’s my story.’”

Jester on the unintended information revealed in the letter to Astrid: “The thing is, I’m sure somebody like Astrid could figure it out, but most people know my mom as the Ruby of the Sea. It’s not like, come see Marion Lavorre! That’s not a name that’s out there.” Laura points out that it’s not even common knowledge that the Ruby has a daughter. “But it’s... not good. It can be traced. That was not the wisest decision, but I’m blaming that fully on Nott, because I didn’t know anything about Caleb’s backstory at the time.” All she knew at the time was that he potentially had an old girlfriend named Astrid.

Even the group’s reassurance hasn’t changed Yasha’s opinion that her actions were cowardly. Ashley doesn’t think she’ll ever change that opinion. “I think she realized in that moment how brave she was not. It’s like if you do something shitty in your life, you don’t ever really forget it.” Brian points out that there’s a difference between that and choosing to be defined by your worst moment, which Ashley agrees is closer to where Yasha is right now, and that aspect could change with time. “I think it did mean something that Beau said that [she’s a survivor]”, but there was still that aspect of ‘oh, you’re just saying that’.

On Nott expressing the possibility of leaving the M9 to stay with her family, Jester’s opinion? “Not good. But family’s important, too.” Yasha’s opinion is that, since she’s recovered her family and wants to be with them again, she should take advantage of that opportunity for a second chance. Laura and Ashley both can’t see a way forward right now where Nott doesn’t leave.

Laura: “Jester wouldn’t hold any animosity towards Caleb for the sins of the past. Unless it was something really bad. Like killing his parents or something.” Yasha also wouldn’t be likely to throw stones.

Fan Art of the Week: Jester painting the wildflowers. A long time is spent panning and zooming to hunt down the hidden dick.

Yasha following Fjord was mostly just because he’d been acting strange lately. “I just wanted to find out what he was up to.” Laura: “Sometimes you follow people.” Brian: “That’s how you find out what they’re up to.”

Laura, out of context: “It’s not a glory hole, it’s a peephole!”

Laura: “I feel like Jester’s been very forward with Fjord, and he hasn’t returned any of those flirtations... things that she thinks are flirtations. But there was definitely this friendly banter between them early on, and it drifted away when we were at sea. He hasn’t been talking to anybody about the turmoil he’s been going through or any of that stuff. I’m backing it off on those terms with her. Plus having the realization that all romances are not what you read in the book. She’s coming to these terms of, maybe I don’t understand how it is, and how I feel and how other people feel, I don’t know any of those things.”

Yes, Ashley knows that armor would improve her AC, but wearing armor would seriously limit Yasha’s abilities in battle. Laura: “You need a ring of AC, is what you need. But if we got it, you’d be fucked, because Caleb would just take it and keep it for himself.”

Laura, patting the Caleb plushie gently: “I give Liam a hard time, but honestly I do understand that Caleb’s a glass cannon and he needs the protection. I understand it,” Laura adds, patting the Caleb plushie with significantly greater force.

Yasha’s negative opinions of Xhorhas that she expressed earlier were partly colored by her experiences there, and partly to try to keep herself and the rest of the group away from her past. She also points out that if they encountered her tribe, they’d be within their rights to kill her, and she’d probably accept it.

Ashley’s excited at the prospect of Yasha going home because she’s looking forward to seeing what Matt will have done with the parts of Yasha’s backstory she wrote. Yasha’s opinion is considerably less positive. This is as far north as Yasha’s ever been. “I think she’ll continue to avoid it until they can’t anymore.”

Laura would be a lot more confident in the Gentleman being Jester’s dad if she’d thought to use Disguise Self in front of Marion. Jester, on the other hand, is entirely convinced that he’s her dad. She doesn’t fully think he’s intentionally ignoring her. She has a plan for what to do the next time they meet him.

Yasha’s favorite flower? “There’s still so many flowers that she hasn’t seen.” She may not have a favorite yet; she’s still learning what she likes.

Ashley calls out Brian for mispronouncing Yasha’s wife’s name: it’s definitely spelled and pronounced ‘Zuala’.

In a trust exercise, Ashley whips the Caleb plushie at Brian’s head.

Tune in shortly for the cast of Critical Role joining Joel Hodgson’s MST3K: The Podcomic!