tanked-up

[tanked-up]

Soap: I’m telepathically sending you a kiss

Ghost: Don’t joke right n- *Slaps cheek*

Soap: HEY.

Ghost: IT WAS A FLY

Soap: SHE WAS THE MESSENGER

[tanked-up]

Soap: I’m going to commit a crime.

Gaz: Hm?

Soap: Public nudity

Gaz: Huh.

Soap: I’m taking my clothes off right now

Gaz: You are literally in your room and the only “public” with you right now is Ghost.

Ghost: IF YOU DON’T LET HIM FINISH-

[tanked-up]

Soap: Should I.

Gaz: If you have a death wish

————————————————

Soap: I’m jealous of your heart

Ghost: Why.

Soap: Because it’s pumping inside you and I’m not

Gaz: *sighs* warned him-

Ghost: *Blushes* wow- I…

Gaz: OH MY GOD

[tanked-up]

Soap: Ghost

Ghost: …

Soap: Do you love me!

Ghost: Would you please let me leave the room, before you start again.

Soap: Answer the question.

Ghost: Johnny-

Soap: Simo-

Ghost: I LITERALLY JUST KISSED YOU GOODNIGHT

[tanked-up]

Soap: 🖇️

Gaz: What.

Soap: That’s us, we are paperclips supporting each other

Gaz: Oh My God

Price: SOAP COME DRINK YOUR FUCKING MEDS

[tanked-up]

Soap: Don’t you trust me?

Ghost: Why should I? All the boys I’ve dated were dogs

Gaz: Don’t-

Soap: Meow

[tanked-up]

Gaz: Can you come collect your freak of a man please

Gaz: He’s doing things…

Ghost: No, I set him loose on purpose

Gaz: Wh-

Ghost: He needs enrichment

Soap: I’m in this chat too you know…

[tanked-up]

Soap: So pretty

Ghost: Are you flirting with me?

Soap: Yes

Ghost: Don’t ever do that again

*Soap leaves*

Price: Ghost-

Ghost: I need him so bad

[tanked-up]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Been long since I’ve made these

[tanked-up]

Recruit: You’ve been awfully lonely, Seargent…

Soap clearing his throat: I’m sorry?

Recruit: Don’t you ever get bored of the same ol’ routine ?

Soap: I don-

Recruit circling him: … don’t you need a man who’ll be there when you-

Soap: I’m not lonely, kid.

Recruit: Well you seem to tell otherwise-

Soap: I have a perfectly fine man who’ll attend all my needs when necessary.

Recruit sliding his hands through Soap’s shoulder: Cmon… he don’t gotta find out-

Soap gripping the hand off and smiling: I suggest you try elsewhere, kid.

Recruit frowns: C’mon a big fella like ya gotta need someone bigger, sarg…

Soap staring at the cams on the ceiling behind the kid, and then laughs: Oh I do…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two hours after:

Soap: I just had the weirdest encounter

Ghost: Hm?

Soap: We’re you on cams, earlier?

Ghost: As in…?

Soap: Security

Ghost: Should I?

Soap scoffs and leaves: Nevermind

Price arrives: Listen I’m not even gonna ask-

Ghost: Good.

Price whispering: What did you do with the kid?

Ghost: What kid.

Price: Simon.

Ghost: I don’t recall, sorry.

Price: YOU LEFT THE CAMS ROOM WITH UR POLISHED KNIFE

Ghost: Yeah and i had a great time

[tanked-up]

Hey guys! I wanna start by saying I’m sorry I haven’t been as active here in the last couple of weeks. My dad unexpectedly passed away and I’ve been dealing with some other stuff. I hope to be back soon.

[tanked-up]

(ON A POST)

Ghost: I give up on females 😣

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Comments:

Soap: “👀”

Price: STAND UP 😡

Soap: BUT SIR HE NEEDS ME 😫

Ghost: I NEED HIM 🤤

Gaz: We’re you ever into them in the first place? 🙄

[tanked-up]

Meet my husband.

[tanked-up]

Price: Can you explain why you’re twenty mins late?

Ghost: We fucked up, capt’n…

Price: What-

Ghost: Soap’s talking to the cables. We’re not getting out of here, sir.

*Ghost sent an attachment*

*Soap has entered the chat*

Soap: THIS MOTHERFUCKER DOESNT KNOW HOW TO DRIVE

Ghost: CABLES AREN’T GONNA HELP YOU

Soap: YEAH NEITHER AM I

[tanked-up]

Ghost: I just received a call with an “Unknown” caller id. Should I be worried, capt’n?

Price: Tracked it?

Ghost: No-

Gaz runs up to them out of breath: I think Soap just died

Price: Wha-

Ghost: I think I know what killed him…

Gaz: Huh?

Ghost: … I’m gonna track this motherfucker

[tanked-up]

YoungGaz: Can you like… kiss him already?

YoungSoap: I’m sorry?

YoungGaz: Ghost

YoungSoap gasps: I should tell Price…

YoungGaz: C’mon… I kissed you

YoungSoap: Yeah, but it was a dar-

YoungGhost arriving: Johnny if you suck on my neck one mo-

YoungGaz: … you were saying? Also we could suck-?!

YoungSoap: NECKS.

YoungGhost: Huh.

[tanked-up]

Remember when…