#incorrect cod quotes

[incorrectcodquotes]

Soap: We can explain.

Price: Can you?

Gaz: If you give us thirty seconds to think of a lie.

[metallictastinglifesupportliquid]

Ghost: You have friends and I envy that Y/N: You can share my friends Ghost: *looks at Johnny and Kyle* Ghost: I don't want those

[meowmeowriley]

Soap: *quietly cursing and grumbling in the bathroom.

Gaz: *popping his head in "You alright bruv?"

Soap: "No! Never grow out yer mohawk." *continues angrily fucking with his hair and getting more and more Scottish in his mounting rage.

Gaz: "Wasn't plannin' on it."

Soap: "This is the most annoying shit, shoulda shaved mah head, let it all grow out, then shaved the hawk back."

Gaz: "That woulda been smart, yeah."

Soap: "But am I smart?!"

Gaz: "w-"

Soap: "No! Ah'm horny! And stupid. And want Ghost to pull mah hair. And braid it."

Gaz: "Don't you have a PhD in chemistry?"

Soap: *glaring with his hair all fluffed and fucked up "Ah'm book smart."

This was not the first, nor will it be the last, time Gaz finds him like this.

Sincerely, someone who's mohawk is finally long enough to braid, and it was such a pain in the ass to grow out I'd never do it again.

[mactavishenjoyer]

Random bad Guy:"I have evidence you are cheating on Soap. You are going to do what I want or I send him a Video of you kissing Ghost."

Roach:"he also kisses Ghost."

Random bad guy:"what?"

Roach:"we all kiss Ghost...he needs it. if we don't he thinks we hate him."

Random bad guy:"the fuck?

[blingblong55]

Families?-141

Price yelled at the team and now they are upset

Gaz: you hate us!

Soap: and we loved you like a older brother

Ghost: *shakes his head*

Price: what? no! you guys are like my second family

R/N: Awww...like the one my dad has

Gaz: oh...thats not-

Ghost:...don't. tell. them.

[call-of-duty-incorrect-quotes]

Soap: So… König.

Ghost: What about him?

Soap: We were at the mess hall and he tried to ask for cutlery but forgot the word and ended up saying “I need food weapons”

Soap: I want you to know I will now be referring to them by nothing else.

[tanked-up]

Soap: Your hearts beating really fast, I can hear it

Ghost: It’s not-

Soap: Yes… yes it is

Ghost: No

Soap: Don’t gaslight yourself

Ghost: Well- maybe if you’d move a little…

Soap: Are you… red

Ghost: No-

Soap: YOU ARE, it suits you

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gaz and Price outside the closet: Maybe we should close them in together often…

[forsworned]

Ghost: Alright, so today I wanted to do something with you-- Soap: --I like when you think of things to do with me. It makes me feel honored, loved, and apart of your life. Ghost: Shut up. Soap: Thank you. Ghost: Ghost, continues what he was talking about: Back to what I was saying…

[fadingsweetsphantom]

Price, finding a quiet corner away from his time, he just needed a few minutes quiet without chaos after having broken up with his now ex that morning. Dating a civie just never worked out in the end.

*outside the office building*

Soap and Gaz, pulling up in a deffiantly not miltary issued car: you guys wanna go with us to run over Price's cheating ex?

Roach, looks over at Ghost: ...

Ghost: yeah sure, why not

[incorrect-zombies-quotes935]

TranZit Addition

Misty: What do you want to eat?

Richtofen: тнє ѕσυℓѕ σƒ тнє ιηησ¢єηт-

Stuhlinger: A bagel.

Richtofen: ησ!

Stuhlinger: Two bagels.

[incorrectcodquotes]

Gaz: What's worse than a heartbreak?

Soap: Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging.

Price: Waking up in the morning.

Ghost: Waking up.

[mayflora-18]

Incorrect CoD Quotes #8

*Soap grabs a balloon filled with helium and inhales*

Price: Oh god not again!

Soap: HOW Are unicorns fake but a giraffe is real!?

Ghost: WHAT?

Soap: Like, what’s more believable?

Gaz: Where are you going with this?

Soap: A horse with a horn *aggressively claps on “horn”* ORRRRR a leopard moose camel with a 40 foot NECK?

Sherlock: I work with idiots 😑

———

Ghost: Does anyone else think…

Soap: That’s dangerous.

Ghost: That some people… just need a high five…

Price: That’s nice, Simon.

Ghost: In the head…

Roach: Yassss

Ghost: With a chair?

Gaz: Why are you like this?

———

Ghost: Okay, what does A stand for?

Roach: Arson.

Ghost: Aww you’re so good.

Soap: Okay B. What does B stand for?

Roach: Barson.

*Soap laughs*

Gaz: What stands for C?

Roach: Commit arson.

Ghost: Ooooooh!

Price: D!?

*Roach looks at Price and smiles*

Price, thinking: Please be normal.

Roach: Don’t come near me… I’m going to commit ARSON!!!!

*everyone else laughs*

Price, sarcastic: I raised him real well.

———

Sherlock: How did you take down Captain America?

Ghost, using a terrible German accent: Ve shot him in ze legs because his shield is ze size of a dinner plate.

König, overhears Ghost: …Fick dich🖕(“Fuck you” in German)

———

Ghost: Umm, do you have a pencil by any chance?

Rudy: No, but I have a knife…

Ghost: What-what?

Rudy: And I know how to cut a bitch… *whispers* Try me

———

*Rudy cooking in the kitchen*

Alejandro, walking in: Hey mi amor?

Rudy: ahuh?

Alejandro: If somebody told you they’d give you a million dollars for knocking me out, what would you do?

*Rudy immediately slaps Alejandro with a frying pan*

Rudy: Where’s my money?

Alejandro, on the floor: 😵‍💫

———

Roach, singing for Sherlock: Somebody come get her, she’s fucking up my dinner~

*Sherlock throws a plate at and he falls down*

Sherlock, singing for Roach: Somebody come get him, before I fucking end him!~

———

Nikolai: There’s a spider!

Laswell: So what do you me to do?!

Nikolai: KILL IT!

Laswell: YOU SAW IT FIRST!

Nikolai: YOU KILL IT!

Laswell: You’re the man!!

Nikolai: Since when?!

———

Stupid-drunk!Roach to Sherlock: You so crazy… I think I wanna have your babies.

Sherlock: 😐

Gaz, thinking: I don’t know if I should be confused or just jealous.

Soap, just confused: How would that even work?

Ghost : I think it’s time for you to go to sleep, Roach.

———

Sherlock: Listen. Am I the most attractive person in the world?

Soap: Is this a trick question?

Sherlock: No. But do I have a great personality?

Price: *face palms*

Sherlock: Also no. But do I wake up every morning and try to be the best person I can be?

Ghost, has only heard the first half of this bit before: I actually don’t know this one…

Sherlock: No.

Nikolai: …Sweetie, did Ghost get to you?

———

Price : Repeat after me: I can do this!

Nikolai: I can do this.

Price: I’m ready to burn some calories!

Nikolai: I’m ready to burn some calories.

Price: I’m done eating fast food and drinking alcohol.

Nikolai: …I’m ready to burn some calories.

Price: Alright, let’s get started!

———

Soap, Gaz, Ghost: Ahhh

Soap: We’re d-d-d driving in a-

Gaz: Car! Destination drug dealer’s-

Ghost: Bar! Pass the mic over to Price-!

Soap: Shit, we forgot Price.

Ghost: …But we can’t turn back because we’ve too far!

Gaz: We have to turn back, though. We can’t leave him.

———

Alejandro: You eat so fucking gross, Graves. Do you eat like that on dates?

Graves, cheeks puffed up with meatballs and marinara sauce on his face: …I don’t go on dates.

Alejandro: Exactly. There’s a reason why no one takes you on dates.

Graves: Well damn! Who hurt you today?

Alejandro: Bitch nobody.

———

Graves: Hey, Sergeant. …Soap.

Soap: What?

Graves: *hands Soap a coffee cup* Try this coffee and tell me what it tastes like.

Soap: *takes the cup and gives it a sip* Hazelnut?

Graves: I don’t know, I found it in the garbage.

*Soap tries to spit it out*

———

Gaz: Nikolai, what’s wrong with Sherlock? She seems angry.

Nikolai: She’s totally fine.

Gaz: Okay? Well, where’s Graves?

Sherlock, walking into the room: Maybe he got sick… or went missing… OR GOT HIT BY A BUS!!

Gaz: 🙊

*Sherlock leaves the room*

Gaz: Totally fine, huh?

Nikolai: Yeah… Totally fine.

———

Nikolai: So, the man that tried to kill you - what did he look like?

Sherlock: He was so hot. It was crazy.

Price: O-ok. But what did he look like?

Sherlock: I mean where should I start? Uh, he was tall, you know, maybe 6’3” or 6”4”? Uh absolutely just jaaacked! But not like scary-body-builder jacked. Like, he was ripped but he still had a soft touch. You could totally fall asleep in his arms.

Price: Alright what did his face look like??

Sherlock: Well- uh- y’know Brad Pitt?

Price: Yeah?

Sherlock: Forget Brad Pitt. This guy was hotter.

Nikolai: Hotter than Brad Pitt??

Sherlock: Hotter than Bradley Joseph Pitt.

Soap: That’s crazy!

Sherlock: I would pay money to gaze into those eyes again.

Gaz: Even after he tried to kill you?

Sherlock: I almost wish he’d stabbed me to death and took his time doing it just so the last thing I saw could’ve been those ocean blue eyes.

Ghost: I’m getting a little hot just off your description so I can only imagine how it felt to be there!

Sherlock: Insane.

Gaz: Gosh I can’t believe he was hotter than Brad Pitt.

Ghost: Hey, what did she say about Brad Pitt?

Gaz: Oh, shoot! I-I-I-I I’m sorry!

Soap: Yeah, forget Brad Pitt!

Gaz: Done! Forgotten! Who is he?

Ghost: He doesn’t exist.

Soap: He’s gone.

Gaz: Bradley David Pitt is no more.

Sherlock: Good!

Price and Nikolai: 😑

(Note: Sorry there was no post yesterday! There will be more later, promise!)

[metallictastinglifesupportliquid]

Y/N: Hi I'm your medic and I'll be drawing your blood today, as soon as I finish this capri sun Y/N: *misses the hole four times then finally punches the straw through the side* Ghost, sweating: PRICE

[mactavishenjoyer]

Soap: "Why did I find my boyfriend in the trunk of the car with a traumatic head wound?'

Price, who forgot he was in their: "shit...."

Gaz, who forgot he was in their:"fuck..."

Soap:"you have three seconds to start running and if I catch you imma beat the shit out of you."

Price:"I'm your Captain you can't threaten me."

Soap:"3...2.."

Price:"IT WAS KYLE'S FAULT!"

[blingblong55]

Mister professor-141

On the monthly 141 lesson class

Price: pay attention, sergeants!

Gaz, Soap and R/N: *mesmerised by watching Ghost with reading glasses*

Ghost: *sighs* A shoulder to cry on is a dick to ride on, stay with me now

Price: no no no, that wasn't the lesson, Ghost

Ghost: its the only way they learn

Price: the fuck????

Ghost: if I teach them in their own slut language, they learn faster

Gaz, Soap and R/N: *drools*

[call-of-duty-incorrect-quotes]

Ghost: One of the Shadows told me he didn’t like my snake tattoo but one of the Vaqueros who doesn’t speak English very well told me “Cobra beautiful”.

Ghost: So fuck you, Graves.