tenacioustridesagain
tenacioustridesagain
Tenacious T's Museum Of Oddities
4 posts
Kind of a journal, kind of a collection of thoughts that keep me up at night. Browse at your own risk
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tenacioustridesagain · 3 months ago
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Fun little theory of mine,
Everyone in Gotham knows that Bruce Wayne is Batman, but no one does anything about it because he risks life and limb for them on a regular basis.
Think about it. The Wayne's were famous for their kindness, characterized by their altruism, and are suddenly gunned down, leaving their 8 year old son as the sole survivor. At 15, the kid randomly disappeared and comes back huge and covered in muscle and immediately does everything his parents were doing but cranks it up to 11. At the same time, Batman shows up and begins beating the entire criminal underworld within an inch of its life while simultaneously sparing his foes so they can stand trial. He owns plenty of apartments in the city but keeps rent super low, making it possible for families to save up for houses. Half the damn city works for him because he treats employees well and pays them accordingly.
People have found Batman's stuff all over Wayne owned buildings, but say nothing. Why? Because when a mass murderer intent on destroying the city breaks out of Arkham Asylum, Batman has said lunatic in police custody within 6 hours. When a seemingly invincible alien army attempts to capture the planet, bringing even Superman to bleed, Batman shows up and immediately turns the tide without picking up a gun. It's gotten to the point that Gothamites regularly rally behind Batman when the city is in danger. Those who know his identity for a fact won't dare attack him at home. Why? Out of respect. See, Batman may not have superpowers, but he has a heart of gold. Without him, Gotham, and the entire world is a scarier place.
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tenacioustridesagain · 3 months ago
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It'd be really cool to see what would happen if Jason Todd was introduced to the Teen Titans and the Justice League before getting beaten to a pulp and blasted to bits by the Joker. I think Batman would have an equally hard time keeping other heroes from breaking into Arkham and offing the Joker as he would just regularly grieving. And then there's all the impending awkwardness of "Holy shit, Jason's alive, but he's a tacticool gunslinger and possible crime boss now and we can't stop/help him" that is not only affecting the Batfamily but the entire superhero community as a whole. It's so bad that every time Tim Drake ( and eventually Damian ) is with other heroes, there's this unspoken rule to protect Robin at all costs, largely spearheaded by Nightwing, Oracle and Starfire because Jason spent the most time around them when not with Batman. In fact, I think the writers need to seriously reevaluate Jason and Tim's relationship because there is no logical reason the former should hate the latter but that's my 2 cents for today.
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tenacioustridesagain · 4 months ago
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I saw this headcanon type deal I liked where the Batfamily starts having hallucinations of Jason immediately after his death. I'd like to put a spin on that and have it literally be Jason's ghost, and then revealed years later at some random moment at the manor. Let's say Dick and Barbara are opening up to Damian about the collective hallucinations, and then Jason walks in and says some shit like, "Nah, that was me. Come to think of it, I never actually left until Ra's threw my body in the Lazarus Pit. Being dead's fuckin weird, man." But then he realizes just how big the can of worms he opened is and rather than explain himself just grapples away into the distance. Of course, he's only delayed the inevitable awkward conversation till dinner, but at least now he has time to think about what he's going to say.
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tenacioustridesagain · 4 months ago
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Jim Gordon's first impressions of each Robin
Seeing Dick
Jim: Is that a 12 year old with a grappling hook?
Batman: And?
Jim: No, no, why did you give a 12 year old a grappling hook? And why the hell is he doing gymnastics on my squad car?
Batman: Kid needed some exercise, and I'm getting bored of doing this alone.
Jim: I mean, I'm all for getting kids involved in their communities, but I think this is pushing it.
Seeing Jason
Jim: Goddammit Bats, another one already? And why this one? I don't know what the hell he said to Montoya, but now she's crying in the bathroom.
Batman: Maybe it was something about the cheap perfume that smells like cat urine
Jim: Did I mention he gave Bullock a black eye and stole his cigar?
Batman: So Bullock isn't the biggest bully on the playground anymore, what are you whining about?
Jim: For fucks sake man, he pulled Riddler's arm out of its socket and called him a pussy for crying.
Batman: Harder to break out of Arkham with a bum arm
Jim: But in all fairness, he made my night easier. I don't know whether to lock this kid up or give him a medal.
Seeing Tim
Jim: So Robin #2 got brutally murdered by the Joker and you barely wait 6 months to hire his replacement
Batman: Gotham needs Robin, too. Gotta keep up appearances
Jim: I thought the last one was a nutcase. I just watched that kid shotgun a Monster, pull out a Bo Staff from thin fucking air and break Killer Croc's bones in alphabetical order
Batman: Ruthless efficiency. Gotta love it
Jim: And then he bagged, tagged, and categorized all of the necessary evidence in order of misdemeanors to felonies immediately after?
Batman: I fail to see the problem here
Jim: Why do I even bother
Seeing Damian
Jim: Bats I'm getting too old for this shit
Batman: Okay what's wrong
Jim: Your newest pet psychopath pulled a Katana on Bane and nearly killed him
Batman: With veins the size of garden hoses, how's the kid NOT gonna knick an artery or two?
Jim: When I said I wanted the venom out of his system, I didn't mean let emo Peter Pan over here treat him like a Dark Souls boss
Batman: There's no fucking way you know what that is
Jim: Just take the sword away before Bullock tries to shoot him again
Batman: Again?
Jim: Yeah, new Robin paralyzed him with some Ninja shit before he could do anything though
Batman: Aren't you gonna ask me how I got him?
Jim: No. I don't want to know where you got ANY OF THEM. LEAST OF ALL THE ASSASSINS CREED CHARACTER YOU GAVE A YELLOW CAPE TO
Batman: Yeah he's my biological son
Jim: See how I'm not even remotely surprised anymore. THATS A PROBLEM
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