the-perfect-day-to-die

[the-perfect-day-to-die]

I hope I'll look queer enough with my outfit at tomorrow's Pride. 🥺

I know i don't really look like a lesbian but...

[the-perfect-day-to-die]

am i feeling needy because of relapse or is it not related. 🤔

[the-perfect-day-to-die]

Stop pushing your shit on me.

[the-perfect-day-to-die]

I always wanted to be cool. But yeah.... I can be ugly and fucked up but never cool because it's not me. I hate myself.

[the-perfect-day-to-die]

Half assed piece of shit i am. Can't even cut properly

[the-perfect-day-to-die]

Time to cut i guess. Need to hurt. Deserve to hurt.

[the-perfect-day-to-die]

Why am i surprised that at this point nothing works and nothing works out? Something goes wrong and it's getting ridiculous but also depressing.

[the-perfect-day-to-die]

Oh look, it's me the fucking burden.

[the-perfect-day-to-die]

Gonna sleep feeling hungry and hope that it'll do something.

[the-perfect-day-to-die]

“i think the saying “it will get better/things get better” is an empty/harmful platitude. sometimes things dont get better. sometimes they just get different—not better. and i really think its useless now seeing the way the world operates and capitalism prevails. our minds and bodies are falling apart and being able to afford fixing or managing those things is hard. apart from how the whole world operates, sometimes you dont get better—you just cope. things dont get better—they get different. sometimes they get worse. sometimes its just all the same. and its not a failure on that person. and even then sometimes being an earthly being, being human, being alive is just not for you. sometimes its too much and you just want peace however you can get it and its not your fault. you deserve peace.”

thoughts of a person who has lived with passive suicidal ideation (and actual suicidal ideation too) since i was like 8. it has not gotten better for me and i know a lot of people feel this way and dont talk about it.

i empathize a lot with those who have taken their own life because it is harder for some to be human.

[the-perfect-day-to-die]

I just want to disappear.

[the-perfect-day-to-die]

Oh look and now I'm gonna be accused of shit. Yep. It's all of my fault. As always and forever. Honestly it's getting old now. This whole thing.

[the-perfect-day-to-die]

I wish people would actually listen to me and understand what I'm saying instead of not listening but whatever. I deserve it.

[the-perfect-day-to-die]

I am fucking unlovable

[the-perfect-day-to-die]

Nobody talks about what being the only failure among family members can do to someone's self-esteem.

[the-perfect-day-to-die]

I don't want to get better anymore, it's pointless

[the-perfect-day-to-die]

Being autistic and bpd is just like "no you don't understand. People genuinely don't want me when I'm being my comfortable self."