the-void-passes-by

[the-void-passes-by]

I hate it when I leave home only to feel homesick.

When I return I remember why I wanted to leave. Those tears hurt a lot more.

[the-void-passes-by]

it was foolish to fall in love with you

i am nothing but a fool, so dearly I love

[the-void-passes-by]

my heart aches to create yet my hands seek to destroy

there is nothing beautiful about the emptiness of my thoughts and yet i still wish to draw them into constellations of divine grandeur

perhaps one day i will remember what i breathe for, until then, i must be estranged for the inbetween

[the-void-passes-by]

i want heartbreak because it means I have a heart.

I want to be burnt out because it means I was on fire.

I don’t want to be stuck here with a numbness that means nothing and an exhaustion that means I did nothing right.

[the-void-passes-by]

every breath you breathe bears heavy on their wings they are watching, waiting, weighing

every sin, every thought of it grows heavy on a scale of your own unconscious design

dont look up

not yet

it only takes a moment of recognition before they will carry you away from here

to a place to weigh your crimes, to find you guilty, they will always find you guilty (there is no innocent until proven guilty there, only guilty)

guiding your perfectly timed untimely designed demise

breathe in if you must

don’t forget to gasp and struggle as your lungs tentatively consume the poison of air

can you hear their fluttering wings? the damned beauty that they are

dont strain your ears, dont try to hear it, dont try to see them in the corners of your sight, dont try to smell the salty sweet spice they carry, dont try to taste the metallic honey elixir that they feed on

and for everyone’s sake, if you lean back and feel their embrace, the flutter of feathers across your cheek, the cold warmth of a blunted fingernail scratching your spine, go quietly

they might be watching, waiting, weighting, but without your breath, your act of creation, of destruction, their wings will not bear heavy, beauty is not without pain, although we wish it was, and there is beauty in every pain

you are beauty, they are pain, you are pain, they are beauty

breathe, everything will be okay, i promise

i promise you, i promise me, and one day, they will promise, and one day we will believe our promises

everything will be okay

breathe

[the-void-passes-by]

Update: coloured it in in the least professional software (photos markup) but look he’s coloured!!

a watcher grian sketch, it was sketchy and shaded but when I scanned it it became all lined like this and I decided I like it. I think I’d like to colour it but I don’t think I have the right pens for what I want to do

[the-void-passes-by]

I don’t know if I wanna be pretty or an entity with far to many bits in the corner of your eye

It’s a hard decision yk?

[the-void-passes-by]

a watcher grian sketch, it was sketchy and shaded but when I scanned it it became all lined like this and I decided I like it. I think I’d like to colour it but I don’t think I have the right pens for what I want to do

[the-void-passes-by]

the urge to write a welcome to nightvale type podcast where the host causally talks about the entity’s and myths existing in their world as if it’s the norm and is constantly wondering why they are getting so much out of town retention but just rolling with it…

“hello listeners to the first recorded episode of Where Else but Peraliston, I’m your host deph, and for all you folk listening at home, yes the recording system can hear you and no, deal or scam calls will not work through the systems we have built. To begin our day I have a few common decency announcements and reminders for all, number one, do not offer your hand for a handshake while you are wearing rings, it is considered rude. Secondly, asking for someone’s name on the first date, first or last, is considered inappropriate. For the third, looking someone in the eyes is both rude and to not look them in the eyes, in order to avoid this I suggest in investing in some lovely glasses, and if you are like me, I’d suggest visiting Madames Parlour for Misfits, she often has exactly what you are looking for. Alrighty, now that we’ve finished common decency it’s time to review this weekends sporting events, the Bandshees have been banned from all non-local sporting events after their music was deemed ‘distasteful’ after a winning goal by our beloved Soccer Team, the Devil Birds, against the Limstons’ Lions. Personally I think it was just sore losing on the Limstons. Yet another reason entry to bars is prohibited to any non-locals. Ok folks, big news, we have our first caller of the day, let’s put them online:” (indiscreet screaming and crackling of the mics) “oh ho, now is that a story to tell, but unfortunately it seems like our folks at home were experiencing some technical difficulties, so Marrisa here, I can call you Marrisa right?, was just letting me know that there has been a hold-up in traffic near Joes part of town, and that if anyone happens to spot a pair of foxes fleeing the scene they should not panic for their chickens, the Kitsune twins have just once again caused chaos in the grocery store resulting in multiple road closures and three confirmed non-fatal injuries, the store has just released a statement confirming that the aisles will be righted shortly and that they are grateful that the twins are still yet to top their record of 16 injuries. And that brings us to our tea, coffee, liquid break, we’ll be seeing you shortly, this has been Where Else but Peraliston, deph, signing off.”

[the-void-passes-by]

absolutely shaking----

the amazing devil >>>>

(”I love you”, you are wrong / because love does not exist here / in this garden there’s no feeling / and you say the words so often / that i barely know the meaning - elsa’s song)

[the-void-passes-by]

writers block coming in clutch with whatever this is:

“I- i don't know  if i can love you.”

Triss’ hands shook, minor trembles that were shaking, so close to becoming full shudders. She would glance down to shove them into her pockets, or behind her back. But even the slightest glimpse of those hands- her hands- was coated in red, red blood, dripping as dark and reflective as that day, red blood, his blood.

“You used to…”

Kat’s voice shook, cracking, her eyes were all too shiny, pooling with liquid. Triss ached, and she felt all the emotion she had been resolutely ignoring begin to bubble up, a stagnant pool of overwhelming and unnamable emotion.

“You changed.”

She found herself saying, and she regretted it instantly, not because it was a lie, it was the truth, but she saw something in Kat’s eyes break. Desperation overtaking the confusion and despair that had filled them before.

“You changed me, I changed for you.”

The words almost seemed to wrench them free from Kat’s mouth, anger creeping into her phrase. Triss felt her heart drop, because no, she would not be blamed, not now, after everything Kat had put her through, a sick dark and twisted laugh ripped itself out of her mouth.

“No, no, no. Because if you changed for me this wouldn't be happening.”

[the-void-passes-by]

they are watching you

(shhh and they won’t know you know)

continue your day to day

(maybe they will eventually get bored)

repetitive small humdrum

(perhaps you are unlucky, oh, well of course you are, unlucky enough to be interesting)

when you sleep, avoid dreams, or nightmares, or waking up

(you have caught their eye, lose it quickly, or…)

you live alone. you know nobody. you never did.

(look away from me, you don’t know me, you don’t know anyone, please)

perhaps you need to move, to get away from- from nothing,

(im so sorry, they are taking you, now, you must be interesting, be interesting and you can survive)

somewhere cloudy-sunny, rainy-dry, dark-bright, that’s where you are going

(survive please, death is different there)

you pack only a small bag, a granola bar, a drink bottle, and a small charm you dont remember receiving

(follow the charm, it’s the only way you can escape, but you only have one chance, and don’t try to find me after.)

they are taking you

[the-void-passes-by]

In the quiet moments alone i wish i could push our forwards together, and press a butterfly light kiss against your soft lips. To sit and breathe each others breaths. A way to say what sat unsaid. I am here, I will be here, I will always be here. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

But we have boundaries i dare not cross, even if I know the action itself was not for the sake of romance. The implications to outsiders, and perhaps even the other side, would forever haunt my actions. So i content myself with the touching of hands, the pressing of a smile into hair.

[the-void-passes-by]

Aphrodite is the woman sitting across from you in near empty hotel buffets

She has bags under her eyes and a child on her hip, but she smiles at them nonetheless

Beauty is the 16 year old learning how to do makeup in an empty household

She has smudged her mascara and poked her eyes, but no one else is going to teach her

Venus is the burnt out teen climbing each tree in the park

She does it to prove she can, ignoring raw hands and ripped jeans and broken skin

Pandemos is in the awkward phase between child and woman sitting with a black eye

She is sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair, wishing she punched the creep harder

Ourania sits covered in dirt with a mug of dark black coffee in hand

She knows that sometimes the best way to get back up is to fall down

[the-void-passes-by]

there’s this bone deep exhaustion I have that refuses to go away, it not the kind that demands sleep, but rest, not the easy type of rest, but it demands a kind of rest that makes me guilty. But the exhaustion stays relentless, so guilty I must be.

[the-void-passes-by]

i just love the metaphors of love and fire,,, like hhhh its beautiful (and not just romantic love dude, all types of love r like fire) alright ok ill explain my brain juices

so fire; right? heat, light, hurt, healing ect, its pretty and dangerous and hurts but can also heal, it can end lives and save them...

“But Void” you say “how does that relate to love?” And now ive got you, because hah, I know im smart I think about this when I should not be hehehheheheh youve been trapped and intrigued and now ive got you hooked

And now to answer your question i’ll just start listing stuff and hopes it makes sense (:

1. Heat <-- love is like a big hug, warm and safe, but too much of it and it gets suffocating, too little and you get cold and sad 2. light <-- loves like a guiding light/torch/other metaphors, but basically it can help you find who you want to be, it helps you find pieces of yourself, but too much and you get blinded by it, you get trapped in its brightness (but lights good so you get trapped in the spotlight despite of how much it hurts your eyes). Too little light and you get trapped in the dark, and you lose hope, you start to forget there was ever a light, that the dark is the only thing you have. 3. hurt <-- fire hurts duh, but so does rejection, and anger and hate,,, all of which are experienced in love, however without it you dont know that there is danger, without it how could you know how it feels to be safe and protected, and once again, too much and you forget there was ever a time where it didnt hurt, that there was ever an option to stop hurting 4. healing <-- fire can heal, and honestly its probably my favourite part of fire metaphors because everyone forgets about it, trees grow in ashes, heat relaxes muscles and fire is used medicinally. Its good to heal, its needed, but sometimes if all you ever do is heal and stay safe you never get to know what it is like to have the chance to risk being hurt, but without it once again all you can do it hurt. 5. beauty <-- fire looks beautiful from a distance but if you get to close it can burn/hurt you, sometimes you need to make sure you work out what type of fire is harmful and what fire helps, both often look just as beautiful as each other but only one of them will truly make you happy

so yeah, fire love metaphors.... thanks fr reading my rambles... good night/day

[the-void-passes-by]

its so peaceful writing when you arnt supposed to be writing, letting the boppy too loud music you are playing fade away as you rewrite the same death scene for a third time and the smell of your old computer overworking itself while the window behind you darkens