theadventureofpocketandtheb-blog - Tumblr blog

[theadventureofpocketandtheb-blog]

Hi everyone,

Hello guys, my name in this story is Bear, and I really don’t know how else to get over this then to just, type it all out.

This is really just a super cute, yet super sad love story, between me, and who I believe to be the love of my life. This story has laughs and smiles, but it also has fear and depression. 

Let me tell you alittle bit about myself, I’m 24 years old, I got a felony record before I was 21, I am an ex junkie, I haven’t really had much of anything I would consider remotely close to a relationship as with Pocket, I suffer from Dysthymia, as well as Social Anxiety, Panic Disorder, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. So I’m not the brightest, happiest crayon in the box. I don’t have much of anyone, never reallly have.

As for Pocket, she’s 21, clean record, beautiful with a great head on her shoulders. She has a very loving family, and has a beautiful smile that would light up a dark room, but she also suffers from Panic Disorder, as well as Social Anxiety. She is the princess in my life, and I’d do everything in my power to keep her around.

We currently aren’t together, we broke up last weekend, after another arguement.

Yeah I said another, why? Because we constantly fought over sometimes, the stupidest things, sometimes things that we didn’t agree with, or sometimes major issues. But what I never did, was realize that there isn’t just one person in a relationship, there’s 2. I always got aggressive even though she has told me multiple times, that yelling and getting all big and bad, that shit scares her. And I never payed attention to it. I hate myself for never paying attention to it.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been having a very bad Depressed episode, now mind you, I’m a hard headed Taurus, so I never really like to talk about my problems to people, I never really like to ask others for help. So mind you Pocket didn’t really know what was going on, she knew something was wrong but never could figure it out. Well it’s  been effecting me big time, and last weekend was no exception. 

Guys, the arguement got so bad, I threw a chair, not at Pocket, but I got aggressive, which is way out of my character. And scared the shit out of Pocket. So bad that she came by Saturday to come get her stuff with her older brother, and had to stand away from me. She was terrified and I’ve never hated myself so much in my life. I had to sit there crying, as she packed up all of her stuff, gave me back mine, and left. There wasn’t anything I could say or do to stop it.

Now It’s been alittle over a week since this happened, but, I hope you guys are okay with me expressing my feelings through our breakup. It’s been hard, I haven’t really gotten to talk to her about the breakup, I haven’t really gotten to talk to her at all, and it scares me man. She wants time to think about everything, and I plan on giving her anything she want’s as long as there’s still a slimmer of light that could rekindle our relationship.

Strap in for a journey guys.

-Bear