thedissociativediva

[thedissociativediva]

So amazing! My mental health has not been good so I’ve not been keeping up with my goal to post at least once a day. I lost my Mom to an untreatable brain disease and due to some crazy circumstances I never got to say goodbye to her. 🥲 I miss her so much and she didn’t deserve to suffer the way she did. All I can think about is that she died thinking her only child didn’t care enough to come and say goodbye to her. It’s not even close to true, but I don’t know if she knew that. It’s really messing with my head and I’m fighting to stay sober. Please send kind thoughts this way. 🫶 #mentalhealth

[thedissociativediva]

The image above is how I "SEE" the word FEARLESS. I have Aphantasia, which basically means when I'm asked to close my eyes and imagine a place or an object, I can't. Nothing, nada, complete and utter blackness. It's probably why I can draw something I can physically see but I cannot draw imagined characters. Weird, huh? Well, BE FEARLESS in all you do today! Use the picture above if you can't SEE it for yourself!

[thedissociativediva]

It's a coffee shop! One person can make the coffee!! Arggghhh! Oh well, make the most of your day guys!!!

[thedissociativediva]

Hi! Thanks for visiting!! The fact that you are here means either you struggle with some form of mental illness/addiction or you know someone in your life that does. Mental illness is one of those things that cannot really be described the same for everyone. No two people will have the same exact symptoms. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar, ADHD, Depression, Borderline Personality Disordere, PTSD, and Anxiety. Yeah, I know, my life was quite traumatic!

Just the fact that you are here is great, no matter who you are here for. My name is Nikki and I have several mental illnesses and I am in the process of one again trying to kick another drug addiction. I'm 112 days clean since my last relapse. The biggest challenge is not letting your guard down once you get to a certain point. Once you let your guard down, you are susceptible to relapse from the smallest trigger. For example, I woke up to a text from one of my sons' asking me if I was okay on October 29, 2021. I knew almost immediately that one of the people in the "friend" group I used to hang out in had either overdosed and died or was in an accident. Because, sadly when you are in that life, you lose a lot of people. You may think you're invincible, you've been doing it this long and you're fine, I don't buy from people I don't know, etc. It doesn't matter, it's gonna catch up with you. I've lived this life off and on for 40 years and I'm done...but that requires me to stay vigilant about how I'm feeling at all times. Something that isn't always easy when you live with someone who doesn't understand mental illness or addiction in real life. I say that because he was a Psych major in college but clearly they need to update their materials because he just doesn't get it at all. Well, thank you for visiting my page. I'm working on getting my first 3 podcast episodes out soon! Watch for The Dissociative Diva where you listen to your podcasts - It's coming sooooon!