thelimeonade

[thelimeonade]

I won't write...

I won't write

No, sir, I will not

I won't waste my breath

When it's all for naught

Perhaps I'm stupid

I should definitely stop

But what else am I supposed to do

When my life has been cast in doubt

I wait for you, I chase you

I juggle and whatnot

But no matter what I do,

I am still met with emotional drought

And here I am looking for words that rhyme

While you're out there not caring about me with a dime

So maybe I am stupid

Maybe I won't stop

But no I won't write

No, sir, I will not

I won't write love letters

I won't weave poems and sonatas and lists

I won't waste my time

making sunbeams out of mists

I will gag my brain

sew all of me shut

I won't try to fight

When I'm often reminded I'm not

I'm not worth your time, your efforts

Maybe your future too!

I'm not good enough to be won over

To be chased, to be woo-ed

I'm not even within that section

Where I'd be given a clue

A clue to what am I

To what we are

A tiny bit of a hint

It's really not that far

But I'll tell you what I know I am

What I'm certain is true

That I am worth a lot, I am a lot

And it's not seen by you

So no I won't write

No, sir, I will not

So think well before all what a writer

like me will give you is a dot.

[thelimeonade]

Ultimate List of Weapons and Arsenal for Fantasy Setting: Purpose and Who Uses Them. Writers save this!

Melee Weapons

1. Swords

- Longsword - Used by knights and warriors for versatile combat.

- Broadsword - Wielded by heavy infantry for powerful strikes.

- Rapier - Favored by duelists and nobles for precision and speed.

- Scimitar - Used by desert warriors and pirates for slashing attacks.

- Katana - Carried by samurai for swift, precise cuts.

- Claymore - Wielded by Highland warriors for heavy, sweeping attacks.

- Falchion - Used by mercenaries for its chopping power.

- Cutlass - Preferred by sailors and pirates for close-quarters combat.

2. Axes

- Battle Axe - Used by berserkers and heavy infantry for devastating blows.

- Hand Axe - Carried by scouts and light infantry for quick strikes.

- Throwing Axe - Utilized by skirmishers and hunters for ranged attacks.

- Great Axe - Wielded by barbarian warriors for massive damage.

- Tomahawk - Used by tribal warriors for both melee and throwing.

3. Maces and Hammers

- Warhammer - Used by knights and paladins to crush armor.

- Mace - Carried by clerics and guards for bludgeoning.

- Morning Star - Wielded by heavy infantry for spiked attacks.

- Flail - Used by foot soldiers to bypass shields.

- Maul - Carried by executioners and strongmen for heavy strikes.

4. Polearms

- Spear - Used by infantry and phalanx formations for thrusting.

- Halberd - Wielded by guards and soldiers for versatile attacks.

- Glaive - Carried by cavalry and elite guards for slashing and thrusting.

- Pike - Used by pikemen to counter cavalry.

- Trident - Favored by gladiators and fishermen for thrusting.

- Naginata - Wielded by samurai and monks for sweeping attacks.

5. Daggers and Knives

- Dagger - Carried by assassins and rogues for stealth kills.

- Stiletto - Used by spies and infiltrators for piercing.

- Dirk - Favored by sailors and scouts for close combat.

- Kris - Used by tribal warriors for its wavy blade.

- Bowie Knife - Carried by frontiersmen and adventurers for utility and combat.

6. Blunt Weapons

- Club - Used by peasants and guards for simple bludgeoning.

- Quarterstaff - Carried by monks and travelers for defense.

- Cudgel - Used by commoners and militia for self-defense.

- Baton - Carried by law enforcement for non-lethal control.

Ranged Weapons

1. Bows

- Longbow - Used by archers for long-range attacks.

- Shortbow - Favored by scouts and hunters for mobility.

- Crossbow - Carried by soldiers and hunters for powerful, accurate shots.

- Recurve Bow - Used by nomadic tribes for its compact design.

- Composite Bow - Favored by mounted archers for its strength and flexibility.

2. Throwing Weapons

- Throwing Knives - Used by assassins and ninjas for silent kills.

- Shuriken - Favored by ninjas for distraction and quick attacks.

- Throwing Axes - Utilized by skirmishers and hunters for ranged combat.

- Javelins - Carried by light infantry and hunters for throwing.

- Boomerang - Used by tribal warriors for hunting and combat.

3. Firearms (in some fantasy settings)

- Flintlock Pistol - Carried by pirates and duelists for close-range combat.

- Blunderbuss - Used by guards and hunters for its spread shot.

- Musket - Carried by soldiers for long-range engagements.

- Hand Cannon - Used by adventurers and mercenaries for powerful shots.

Magical Weapons

1. Enchanted Swords

- Flameblade - Wielded by fire mages and warriors for burning attacks.

- Frostbrand - Carried by ice mages and knights for freezing strikes.

- Shadowblade - Used by dark mages and assassins for stealth and shadow attacks.

- Lightbringer - Wielded by paladins and holy warriors for radiant damage.

2. Staves and Wands

- Wizard's Staff - Carried by wizards and sorcerers to channel magic.

- Wand of Lightning - Used by storm mages for lightning attacks.

- Staff of Healing - Carried by clerics and healers for restorative magic.

- Wand of Fireballs - Used by fire mages for explosive attacks.

3. Magical Artifacts

- Amulet of Protection - Worn by adventurers and warriors for defense.

- Ring of Invisibility - Used by spies and thieves for stealth.

- Cloak of Shadows - Worn by assassins and shadow mages for concealment.

- Orb of Power - Carried by archmages and sorcerers for enhanced magic.

Exotic Weapons

1. Whips

- Chain Whip - Used by martial artists and monks for flexible attacks.

- Fire Whip - Wielded by fire mages and circus performers for fiery strikes.

- Lightning Whip - Carried by storm mages for electrifying attacks.

2. Chakrams

- Throwing Disc - Used by warriors and hunters for ranged combat.

- Bladed Chakram - Favored by assassins and acrobats for slicing attacks.

3. Claws and Gauntlets

- Dragon Claws - Worn by beastmasters and warriors for slashing.

- Thunder Gauntlets - Used by storm mages and warriors for electric shocks.

- Poison Gauntlets - Carried by assassins and alchemists for toxic strikes.

4. Other Exotic Weapons

- Scythe - Used by reapers and necromancers for harvesting souls.

- Kusarigama (chain and sickle) - Wielded by ninjas and martial artists for versatile attacks.

- Nunchaku - Used by martial artists for rapid strikes.

- Tetsubo (iron club) - Carried by warriors and ogres for heavy bludgeoning.

Siege Weapons

1. Catapult - Used by armies to hurl large stones or projectiles at fortifications.

2. Ballista - Employed by defenders and attackers to shoot large bolts.

3. Trebuchet - Used by besieging forces to launch heavy projectiles over long distances.

4. Battering Ram - Carried by infantry to break down gates and walls.

5. Siege Tower - Used by attackers to scale walls and engage defenders directly.

Improvised Weapons

1. Torch - Used by adventurers and villagers for light and fire attacks.

2. Pitchfork - Carried by farmers and peasants for self-defense.

3. Shovel - Used by laborers and gravediggers for digging and combat.

4. Rock - Thrown by anyone in desperate situations for a quick attack.

5. Chair - Used in tavern brawls and by anyone needing an impromptu weapon.

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[thelimeonade]

Write Like a Director: Crafting a Cinematic Novel (With Examples)

Writing a novel like a movie means propelling your reader through scenes with relentless momentum, slashing through fluff, and ensuring each word drives the plot forward. Trust your readers to connect the dots through dialogue and action, immersing them in vivid, immediate experiences without drowning them in verbose descriptions. Every chapter should feel like a high-octane scene, keeping readers on the edge of their seats, hungry for the next twist, the next revelation. Keep it tight, keep it thrilling. Here are some examples to illustrate each aspect of this dynamic storytelling approach:

Fast Pacing

Chase Through the Alley: Jake sprinted down the narrow alley, the thud of heavy boots echoing behind him. A sharp left, then a right—no time to think, just run. This example thrusts the reader directly into a high-speed chase, emphasizing immediate action and urgency.

Heist in Progress: The vault door creaked open. "Thirty seconds," Maria whispered, stuffing bonds into her bag. The alarm blared. "Move!" The scene conveys a sense of time running out and rapid movement, maintaining a brisk pace with no room for delays.

Dynamic, Fast-Going Plot

Kidnapping Twist: Laura opened her front door to find an empty stroller on her porch. A note inside read: "If you want to see her again, come alone." The unexpected discovery of a kidnapping sets up an immediate and compelling conflict, driving the plot forward swiftly.

Escape Plan: The prison lights flickered. "Now!" whispered Tom. They climbed through the hole, hearing guards’ shouts in the distance. The urgent breakout from prison keeps the plot dynamic and intense, with characters constantly on the move.

Show, Don't Tell

Fight in the Ring: Blood trickled down Max’s face. He clenched his fists, dodged a punch, and delivered a powerful uppercut that sent his opponent to the mat. The physicality and immediate consequences of the fight are shown through actions rather than explained through exposition.

Silent Farewell: Tears streamed down Lily’s cheeks as she handed Jack the letter. Without a word, he turned and walked away, his shoulders slumped. The emotional impact of the farewell is conveyed through the characters' actions and expressions, not through internal monologue or narrative explanation.

No Tedious Descriptions

Quick Change: Sam grabbed the nearest shirt and jeans, pulling them on as he ran out the door, glancing at the clock—he had five minutes to reach the station. The scene moves quickly from one action to the next, providing only essential details to maintain momentum.

Sudden Revelation: In the dim light, Sophie saw the glint of a ring on the thief’s finger. Her father's ring. She gasped, stepping back. The revelation is made through a brief visual detail, keeping the description succinct and impactful.

No Infodump

Mid-Battle Realization: Amidst the chaos, Sarah recognized the tattoo on the enemy soldier’s arm. Her brother. She hesitated, the war raging around her. The revelation about the brother is integrated into the action, avoiding lengthy explanations and keeping the focus on the immediate situation.

Urgent Discovery: Ethan flipped through the ancient book, stopping at a page with a familiar symbol. "It's the same as the pendant," he muttered, pocketing the book and running out. The discovery is brief and directly tied to the plot's urgency, with no extensive background information provided.

Avoid Fluff

Straight to Action: Ben didn’t bother with pleasantries. “We’re out of time,” he said, throwing the bag into the car. “Get in.” The scene cuts straight to the critical moment, avoiding unnecessary dialogue or description.

No Idle Chatter: Emma answered the phone, cutting off the caller's introduction. “What’s the plan?” she demanded, glancing at the clock. The character immediately seeks vital information, eliminating small talk and focusing on the plot's progression.

Tight, Immersive Narrative

Immediate Danger: As the elevator doors slid open, Mark saw the bomb timer: 00:10. He dived for the wires, heart pounding. The imminent threat and the character's swift reaction immerse the reader in the tension of the moment.

Critical Decision: The bridge was collapsing. Anna had seconds to decide—jump or try to save her friends. She took a deep breath and ran back. The character's quick decision-making in a life-or-death situation keeps the narrative focused and engaging.

By applying these principles, you can craft a novel that feels as dynamic and engaging as a blockbuster movie, keeping your readers hooked from the first page to the last.

[thelimeonade]

Calling all active writeblrs!!!

I'm in dire need of more people to follow!!

Things I love and want more of:

Fantasy

Darker themes

Character driven stories

Romance

Dragons (I go feral for those puppies!)

Mainly original work, whether it's a wip you're wanting to publish or just for fun. Fanfiction is cool too, but doesn't peak my interest at much (idk man, i've tried. trust me)

Silly shit posts about oc's

If any of those are you please interact with this post! also reblog it so I can stalk more lovely writers!

I can only offer you my love and affection, but I hope that is enough.

[thelimeonade]

i have enough ideas to write 100 books and enough indecision to write none.

[thelimeonade]

When A Character Is in love they…

can't stop thinking about the other person.

smile for no reason.

feel nervous and excited around their crush.

go out of their way to do nice things for the person.

get lost in daydreams.

blush at the mention of their crush's name.

feel a warm, fluttery feeling in their chest.

constantly check their phone for messages.

have trouble focusing on anything else.

write or doodle the person's name absentmindedly.

feel a surge of happiness when they see their crush.

replay their interactions over and over in their mind.

[thelimeonade]

How to Write Strong Dialogue

(from a writer of ten years)

So you’re back in the writing trenches. You’re staring at your computer, or your phone, or your tablet, or your journal, and trying not to lose your mind. Because what comes after the first quotation mark? Nothing feels good.

Don’t worry, friend. I’m your friendly tumblr writing guide and I’m here to help you climb out of the pit of writing despair.

I’ve created a character specifically for this exercise. His name is Amos Alejandro III, but for now we’ll just call him Amos. He’s a thirty-something construction worker with a cat who hates him, and he’s just found out he has to go on a quest across the world to save his mother’s diner.

1.) Consider the Attitude and Characteristics of Your Character

One of the biggest struggles writers face when writing dialogue is keeping characters’ dialogue “in-character”.

You’re probably thinking, “but Sparrow, I’m the creator! None of the dialogue I write can be out of character because they’re my original characters!”

WRONG. (I’m hitting the very loud ‘incorrect’ buzzer in your head right now).

Yes, you created your characters. But you created them with specific characteristics and attitudes. For example, Amos lives alone, doesn’t enjoy talking too much, and isn’t a very scholarly person. So he’s probably not going to say something like “I suggest that we pursue the path of least resistance for this upcoming quest.” He’d most likely say, “I mean, I think the easiest route is pretty self-explanatory.”

Another example is a six-year-old girl saying, “Hi, Mr. Ice Cream Man, do you have chocolate sundaes?” instead of “Hewwo, Ice Cweam Man— Chocowate Sundaes?”

Please don’t put ‘w’s in the middle of your dialogue unless you have a very good and very specific reason. I will cry.

Yes, the girl is young, but she’s not going to talk like that. Most children know how to ask questions correctly, and the ‘w’ sound, while sometimes found in a young child’s speech, does not need to be written out. Children are human.

So, consider the attitude, characteristics, and age of your character when writing dialogue!

2.) Break Up Dialogue Length

If I’m reading a novel and I see an entire page of dialogue without any breaks, I’m sobbing. You’re not a 17th century author with endless punctuation. You’re in the 21st century and people don’t read in the same way they used to.

Break up your dialogue. Use long sentences. Use one word. Use commas, use paragraph breaks. Show a character throwing a chair out a window in between sentences.

For example:

“So, you’re telling me the only way to save my Ma’s diner is to travel across five different continents, find the only remaining secret receipt card, and bring it back before she goes out of business? She didn’t have any other copies? Do I have to leave my cat behind?”

vs.

Amos ran a hand over his face. “So, you’re telling me the only way to save my Ma’s diner is to travel across five different continents, find the only remaining secret recipe card, and bring it back before she goes out of business?”

He couldn’t believe his luck. That was sarcastic, of course. This was ironically horrible.

“She didn’t have any other copies?” He leaned forward over the table and frowned. “Do I have to leave my cat behind?”

The second version is easier to digest, and I got to add some fun description of thought and action into the scene! Readers get a taste of Amos’ character in the second scene, whereas in the first scene they only got what felt like a million words of dialogue.

3.) Don’t Overuse Dialogue Tags.

DON’T OVERUSE DIALOGUE TAGS. DON’T. DON’T DON’T DON’T.

If you don’t know what a dialogue tag is, it’s a word after a sentence of dialogue that attributes that dialogue to a specific character.

For example:

“Orange juice and chicken ramen are good,” he said.

‘Said’ functions as the dialogue tag in this sentence.

Dialogue tags are good. You don’t want to completely avoid them. (I used to pride myself on how I could write stories without any dialogue tags. Don’t do that.) Readers need to know who’s speaking. But overusing them, or overusing weird or unique tags, should be avoided.

Examples:

“I’m gonna have to close my diner,” Amos’ mother said.

“Why?” Amos growled. “It’s been in the family forever.”

“I’ve lost the secret recipe card, and I can’t keep the diner open without it!” she cried.

“The Bacon Burger Extreme recipe card?” Amos questioned.

“Yes!” Amos’ mother screamed.

“Well, that’s not good,” Amos complained.

vs.

“I’m gonna have to close my diner,” Amos’ mother said, taking her son’s hand and leading him over to one of the old, grease-stained tabletops with the ripped-fabric booths.

Amos simply stared at her as they moved. “Why? It’s been in the family forever.”

“I’ve—” she looked away for a moment, then took in a breath. “I’ve lost the secret recipe card. And I can’t keep the diner open without it.”

“The Bacon Burger Extreme recipe card?”

“Yes!” She still wouldn’t meet his eyes, and her shoulders were shaking. “Yes.”

Amos sat down heavily in the booth. “Well, that’s not good.”

The first scene only gives character names and dialogue tags. There are no actions and no descriptions. The second scene, however, gives these things. It gives the reader descriptions of the diner, the characters’ actions, and attitudes. Overusing dialogue tags gets boring fast, so add interest into your writing!

So! When you’re writing, consider the attitude of your character, vary dialogue length, and don’t overuse dialogue tags.

Now climb out of the pit of writing despair. Pick up your pen or computer. And write some good dialogue!

Best,

Sparrow

[thelimeonade]

Emotional Blackmail Starters

"If you leave me, I’ll hurt myself."

"Do you want me to be miserable?"

"How can you be so heartless?"

"You’ll regret this decision forever."

"I thought you cared about me."

"You’re breaking my heart."

"I won’t be able to survive without you."

"Do you really want to see me suffer?"

"How could you do this to someone you love?"

"I can’t go on like this."

"You’re destroying me."

"I’ll never be the same if you leave."

"I guess I’ll just have to live with the pain."

"Is this what you really want, to see me in agony?"

"I’ll be lost without you."

"You’re my everything, how can you do this?"

"I’ll never find anyone like you."

"Don’t you care about my feelings?"

"You’re going to regret this decision."

"I’ll make sure everyone knows what you did to me."

[thelimeonade]

When A Character Is dealing with anxiety they…

"I can't breathe... I need to get out of here."

"Why is my heart racing like this?"

"I'm sorry, I just can't focus right now."

"What if something goes wrong? What if I mess up?"

"I need to calm down... deep breaths, deep breaths."

"Can we talk later? I just need some time alone."

"I keep overthinking everything."

"I know it's irrational, but I can't help it."

"Please, don't leave me alone right now."

"Every little thing feels overwhelming."

"I feel like I'm losing control."

"Is there a way to make this stop?"

[thelimeonade]

Isolation Starters

"Your friends are a bad influence on you."

"Why do you even need anyone else when you have me?"

"Your family doesn’t really care about you."

"You should spend more time with me instead."

"They’re just jealous of us."

"I don’t like it when you hang out with them."

"You don’t need them in your life."

"They don’t understand you like I do."

"Why are you always with them and not with me?"

"They’re just trying to come between us."

"You’re better off without them."

"I’m the only one who truly loves you."

"They’re talking behind your back."

"Why do you trust them over me?"

"I don’t want you to see them anymore."

"They don’t have your best interests at heart."

"They’re trying to ruin our relationship."

"You’re not allowed to see them."

"I’m all you need."

"They don’t appreciate you like I do."

[thelimeonade]

Soft Gestures for Comfort

Bringing them a blanket when they’re curled up on the couch.

Whispering, "It’s okay, I’m here," when they wake up from a bad dream.

Stroking their hair gently when they’re lying on your lap.

Running a warm bath for them after a tough day.

Holding them close and saying, "I’ve got you," when they’re upset.

Preparing their favorite comfort food when they’re feeling low.

Turning off their alarm and letting them sleep in when they’re exhausted.

Reading their favorite book to them before bed.

Playing their favorite soothing music to help them relax.

Just sitting in silence with them, letting them know your presence is their safe space.

[thelimeonade]

Showing 'Anger' in Writing

Clenched fists and knuckles turning white.

Eyes narrowing to slits, brows furrowed.

Jaw muscles tensing visibly.

Speaking through gritted teeth.

Taking deep, sharp breaths.

Pacing back and forth, unable to stay still.

Pointing a finger accusingly.

Voice raising to a shout or a growl.

Kicking or punching nearby objects.

Lips pressed together in a thin line.

Rapid, agitated movements.

Slamming doors or throwing objects.

Standing with arms crossed tightly.

Glaring intensely without blinking.

Face turning red or flushed.

Breathing heavily and erratically.

Snapping at others for minor things.

Shaking with barely contained rage.

Muttering or growling under their breath.

Eyes blazing with fury.

[thelimeonade]

practical writing advice

part 2

avoid writing in bed if you can. writing in bed is the mind-killer. writing in bed is the little death that brings obliteration. you may think "but i can write AND be cozy" you will get sleepy so fast. 98% of the time when i try to get a nighttime writing session done in bed i go to sleep. maybe 70% of the time if it's an afternoon writing session. also it fucking kills your wrists.

STRETCH before writing. stretch as many parts of your body as possible ESPECIALLY YOUR WRISTS! i have chronic tendonitis in both of my arms from not doing this and it is manageable but it is Not Fun!

plug your phone in on the other side of the room. better yet, plug it in and leave it in another room. better yet, power it off and leave it in another room. "i'll just check one quick thing" do not underestimate the power of the doomscroll.

do a warmup. look up writing prompts (i like one-word prompts or prompts that focus on a general theme as it's easier to integrate into my writing style), set a timer for fifteen minutes, or ten, or five, and go ham. make it shitty or incomprehensible, as long as you make it. create a dump document for all your warmups. i currently have two novels in the works that started as one of these fifteen minute little warmups.

pick your background noise ahead of time if you use it, and look for something long. i listen to 3-hour-long silent hill ambient mixes on youtube dot com.

take breaks. around every 45 minutes, as i'm noticing myself begin to lose focus, i get up, grab a drink, get my blood flowing, and give myself some space to breathe.

sometimes i sit down to write and i think "every atom in my body is averse to doing this right now. i would rather dance barefoot on a bed of nails than open my laptop and start typing." and you know what i do? i go do something else instead. don't force it! it will become a chore.

that being said! write as often as possible. try to write every day. try to write at the same time. don't beat yourself up if you can’t, BUT the more often you write, the more often you'll want to write.

if you're stuck on a scene or a page or a chapter, go back to the last place where you felt like you knew what you were doing and start writing from there. keep a copy of your other writing in case you want to reuse it or refer back!

i don't know if this is something that will be helpful for other people but i start mentally preparing myself for my writing session a few hours ahead of time. i will say to myself, "today, at this time, i'm gonna sit down and write that scene where mina walks out on her book club, and it's going to be awesome and i'm looking forward to it." then, by the time i actually begin, i basically have the whole thing written out in my head and can just put it down to paper. it's a good way to at least kickstart the session !

ok thanks bye

[thelimeonade]

words to use instead of ________

"Mad"

aggravated, angry, annoyed, boiling, cross, enraged, exasperated, fuming, furious, heated, incensed, indignant, irate, irritable, livid, offended, outraged, riled, steamed, storming, upset

"Nice"

amiable, charming, cordial, courteous, delightful, favorable, friendly, genial, gentle, gracious, helpful. inviting, kind, lovely, obliging, peaceful, peachy, pleasant, polite, swell, sympathetic, tender, welcoming, well-mannered, winning

"Pretty"

alluring, appealing, attractive, beautiful, charming, cute, delightful, desirable, elegant, eye-catching, fair, fascinating, gorgeous, graceful, intriguing, lovely, pleasing, striking, stunning, sweet

"Said"

alleged, argued, asked, asserted, babbled, bellowed, bragged, commented, complained, cried, declined, demanded, denied, encouraged, expressed, giggled, growled, inquired, moaned, nagged, rebuked, rebutted, replied, rejected, retorted, roared, scolded, shrieked, shrugged, stated, taunted, vowed, warned, whined, whispered, yelled

"Went"

avoid, bolt, bound, depart, exit, escape, flee, fly, hike, hop, jaunt, jolt, journey, leap, leave, lurch, march, mosey, move, pace, parade, pass, progress, retreat, saunter, scoot, skip, split, step, stride, stroll, tour, travel, vanish

more words to use instead other words to use instead another list of words to use instead

[thelimeonade]

How To Make Your Writing Less Stiff 5

Movement

Dredging this back up from way back.

Make sure your characters move, but not too much during heavy dialogue scenes. E.g. two characters sitting and talking—do humans just stare at each other with their arms lifeless and bodies utterly motionless during conversation? No? Then neither should your characters. Make them…

Gesture

Wave

Frown

Laugh

Cross their legs/their arms

Shift around to get comfortable

Pound the table

Roll their eyes

Point

Shrug

Touch their face/their hair

Wring their hands

Pick at their nails

Yawn

Stretch

Sniff/sniffle

Tap their fingers/drum

Bounce their feet

Doodle

Fiddle with buttons or jewelry

Scratch an itch

Touch their weapons/gadgets/phones

Check the time

Get up and sit back down

Move from chair to tabletop

The list goes on.

Bonus points if these are tics that serve to develop your character, like a nervous fiddler, or if one moves a lot and the other doesn’t—what does that say about the both of them? This is where “show don’t tell” really comes into play.

As in, you could say “he’s nervous” or you could show, “He fidgets, constantly glancing at the clock as sweat beads at his temples.”

This site is full of discourse on telling vs showing so I’ll leave it at that.

Epithets

In the Sci-fi WIP that shall never see the light of day, I had a flashback arc for one male character and his relationship with another male character. On top of that, the flashback character was a nameless narrator for Reasons.

Enter the problem: How would you keep track of two male characters, one who you can't name, and the other who does have a name, but you can’t oversaturate the narrative with it? I did a few things.

Nameless Narrator (written in 3rd person limited POV) was the only narrator for the flashback arc. I never switched to the boyfriend’s POV.

Boyfriend had only a couple epithets that could only apply to him, and halfway through their relationship, NN went from describing him as “the other prisoner” to “his cellmate” to “his partner” (which was also a double entendre). NN also switched from using BF’s full name to a nickname both in narration and dialogue.

BF had a title for NN that he used exclusively in dialogue, since BF couldn’t use his given name and NN hadn’t picked a new one for himself.

Every time the subject of the narrative switched, I started a new paragraph so “he” never described either character ambiguously mid-paragraph.

Is this an extreme example? Absolutely, but I pulled it off according to my betas.

The point of all this is this: Epithets shouldn’t just exist to substitute an overused name. Epithets de-personalize the subject if you use them incorrectly. If your narrator is thinking of their lover and describing that person without their name, then the trait they pick to focus on should be something equally important to them. In contrast, if you want to drive home how little a narrator thinks of somebody, using depersonalizing epithets helps sell that disrespect.

Fanfic tends to be the most egregious with soulless epithets like "the black-haired boy" that tell the reader absolutely nothing about how the narrator feels about that black-haired boy, espeically if they're doing so during a highly-emotional moment.

As in, NN and BF had one implied sex scene. Had I said “the other prisoner” that would have completely ruined the mood. He’s so much more than “the other prisoner” at that point in the story. “His partner,” since they were both a combat team and romantically involved, encompassed their entire relationship.

The epithet also changed depending on what mood or how hopeless NN saw their situation. He’d wax and wane over how close he believed them to be for Reasons. NN was a very reserved character who kept BF at a distance, afraid to go “all in” because he knew there was a high chance of BF not surviving this campaign. So NN never used “his lover”.

All to say, epithets carried the subtext of that flashback arc, when I had a character who would not talk about his feelings. I could show you the progression of their relationship through how the epithets changed.

I could show you whenever NN was being a big fat liar about his feelings when he said he's not in love, but his narration gave him away. I could show you the exact moment their relationship shifted from comrades to something more when NN switched mid-paragraph from "his cellmate" to "his partner" and when he took up BF's nickame exclusively in the same scene.

I do the same thing in Eternal Night when Elias, my protagonist, stops referring to Dorian as "it" and "the vampire" instead of his name the moment they collide with a much more dangerous vampire, so jarringly that Elias notices in his own narration—the point of it being so explicit is that this degredation isn't automatic, it's something he has to conciously do, when everyone else in his clan wouldn't think twice about dehumanizing them.

—

Any literary device should be used with intent if you want those layers in your work. The curtains are rarely just blue. Whether it’s a simile with a deliberate comparison or an epithet with deliberate connotations, your readers will pick up on the subtext, I promise.

[thelimeonade]

Undermining Confidence Starters

"You’ll never be good enough."

"Why do you even bother trying?"

"Nobody takes you seriously."

"You’re a joke."

"You always mess things up."

"You’re not smart enough for this."

"You’ll never achieve anything."

"You’re just a failure."

"Nobody respects you."

"You’re not worth the effort."

"You always disappoint me."

"You’re too weak."

"You can’t handle the pressure."

"You’re not talented enough."

"Everyone thinks you’re a loser."

"You’ll never make it on your own."

"You’re just wasting your time."

"You’re not cut out for this."

"Nobody believes in you."

"You’re not capable of success."

[thelimeonade]

Guilt-Tripping Starters

"I’ve always done what’s best for you."

"How can you be so ungrateful?"

"You’ve changed, and not for the better."

"I’ve given you everything."

"You’re tearing this family apart."

"I hope you’re happy with your choices."

"After all the sacrifices I’ve made."

"You don’t appreciate anything I do."

"I guess my efforts mean nothing to you."

"You used to be so different."

"Look what you’re doing to us."

"I hope it’s worth it."

"You don’t care about anyone but yourself."

"How can you sleep at night?"

"You’re ruining everything."

"This isn’t the person I raised."

"You’re letting everyone down."

"I thought I could count on you."

"You’re throwing everything away."

"Is this really who you want to be?"