theosmanuscript

[theosmanuscript]

Hi!! :)

Congrats for your 1k hon! You deserve it🫶🏻

And for the celebration post I wanted to say Mattheo and 3 <3

hey there and thanks, babe!! i appreciate it <3 thanks for sending a request as well. yours turned out really cute! i will forever hold onto the hc that matty’s allergic to flowers. your aesthetic is…

— bloomcore

(based on the theme of flowers, gardens, gardening, and nature)

۶ৎ navigation ; masterlist ; mattheo m-list ; how to request ; 1k celebration

"…and this is our garden."

mattheo’s breath hitched when he saw the sheer expanse of the garden of your family home. it literally hitched – it was spring, and pollen was everywhere in the air, making his airways clog almost immediately. he swallowed, trying his hardest to will his allergies away, but unfortunately, it didn’t work like that.

"how… very nice, baby," he muttered after realizing that he’d been staring ahead like a dumbass for a solid minute.

to his relief, you seemed to take his state for being in awe instead of dread. however, then you gestured for him to follow you, which made him pray to everything that is holy to help him stay alive during the next… minutes? hours? it wouldn’t be that long, right? it was just a garden.

"…and this is where my mom keeps the daisies."

you glanced back at mattheo, your eyes gleaming with excitement – showing your boyfriend the pride and glory of your family estate had been a wish of yours for a while now. mattheo gave you a strained smile that reached his eyes, making it believable – but it only did so because his eyes were itching like hell. when you turned around and continued walking along the cobbled path of the garden, he discreetly rubbed his eyes, even though he knew he shouldn’t. great. now he looked high as fuck.

"babe, come here!"

mattheo’s head snapped to the side when she heard your voice coming from behind the nearest bushes. gathering the last bits of self-control, he walked around them, met by your shiny eyes. he really, really loved seeing you happy, which was why he agreed to this little tour – he just had to be the tough guy and take it. wasn’t the first time (although never quite in this type of a situation).

he started to really doubt his own ‘tough guy’ abilities when you shoved a flower right into his face, grinning widely at his dumbfounded expression that you took for simple surprise. "smell this! divine, right?"

"absolutely…" he muttered, feeling his eye twitch. he tried not to breathe but to appear like he was, which proved to be a practically impossible task. thankfully, you quickly took the flower away, your attention already focused on something else, which gave him an opportunity to blink and wipe away the tears that started streaming down his cheeks.

"…this is where the garden ends…"

a sigh of relief.

"…and the greenhouses begin!"

no. no, no, no, no, no.

"listen, babygirl… i have to tell you something, but please, promise not to laugh."

playlist

❥ summer wine by lana del rey

❥ delicate but taylor swift

❥ lové by emma peters

❥ heartbreak weather by niall horan

❥ fall in love by damien lauretta

[theosmanuscript]

cinnamon girl // theodore nott x fem reader

"violet blue green red to keep me at arms length dont work"

playlist : cinnamon girl - lana del rey

summary : everyone knows you have a crush on theo , even he knows! so when you randomly start avoiding him one day , theodore cant help but go crazy.

sunshine reader , y/n used , hufflepuff reader

masterlist

"theo!" you called out happily , running to the boys side and catching his wrist to stop his strides down the corridor, "hi, ive been meaning to talk to you!".

he looked at you , seeming displeased and just grunted in response , turning away and not even looking at your smiling face that admired him so softly.

"so you have a match on saturday and i was just wondering wether i should support you or hufflepuff? i always try and do my best in encouraging you but when youre against my house it becomes difficult-"

"i dont care do whatever." he said simply , finally turning to look back at you with an annoyed face.

your expression dropped for a split second , a moment so small it was hardly detectable but for that single second your smile dropped completely. and theo noticed. he thought that was probably the first time in your whole life youve stopped smiling. and the first time youve dropped your delicate hold on his wrist.

but you quickly regained composure , smiling up at him although not as sweetly as before , it almost seemed strained this time , "right , thats fine. ill just see what i can do closer to the time. bye theodore"

theodore. ouch. theo watched as you walked away silently , not turning back at all. he tried not to read too much into you , he didnt want to think he cared enough to, but hearing you call him by his full name and not theo? he hated to admit it stung a little more than he thought it would.

----

"hey!" you said enthusiatically as you sat down besides your close friend hannah , she looked up from the desk and greeted you back.

usually in charms you found yourself sat besides her , talking all lesson or admiring theodore , but you could help but avoid his side of the room like its the plague.

the plague being the pretty ravenclaw girl that for some reason was sat next to him as they discussed something civilly. usually theo sat with mattheo or alone since mattheo wasnt regularly spotted in charms , so to see him sat next to a girl youve never seen him with? you felt your heart shatter right onto the ground around you.

"y/n? are you listening?" hannah tried to ask you until she followed where you stared and saw theodore with the ravenclaw , "oh".

you nodded besides her , forcing a tight smile onto your lips and finally dragging your eyes from them , "its fine , everyone knows he doesnt like me back, i guess i was just in denial about it."

hannah saddened at the forced laugh that you let out , pulling you into a hug and rubbing your back , "he was never good enough for you anyways. youre a whole galaxy and theodore nott is the moon , nothing compared to you."

"i love the moon," you said softly as your eyes began to well up with tears.

hannah pulled back and scanned the room before grabbing your hand , "professor flitwick isnt here yet , leave now and if he asks ill say you were sick. go to our dorms and ill get snacks from the kitchen and we can stay in tonight , sound good?"

you smiled happily at her , "thank you hannah"

she returned the smile with a light nod before handing you your bag and shooing you away , watching as you left the classroom hastily.

failing to feel theos eyes that burned into your fleeting figure.

---

the next few days were odd for theodore nott. something felt missing but he couldnt quite place his finger on it...

that was until he made eye contact with you in the hall and watched in suprise as you looked away and practically sprinted down the corridor , rather than coming up to him with a bright small and a new topic to rant about.

and he didnt like it. not one bit.

for the rest of the week he picked up on the things that you did - or didnt do.

how your smile would drop when you made eye contact with theodore. how youd talk happily to lorenzo and then make an excuse to leave as soon as theo tried to join the coversation. how you stopped sitting next to him in potions and instead sat with hermione , chatting away to her and not noticing the glare theodore sent towards the both of you.

but the one thing that pushed him over the edge was when he flew out onto the quidditch pitch and immediately searched for you in the stands , only to spot you waving at diggory , wearing his jersey?!

theodore had never felt jealous before -lies- but in that moment he held onto his broom a lot harder than before , his whole body felt hotter and his eyes glared holes into cedric diggorys back.

lets just say that throughout the match he made sure to shove diggory with every chance he got , eventhough none of it was necessary as they had completely different roles in the game.

"nott get off diggorys fucking broom and do your job!" adrian shouted at him from across the pitch , making theodore roll his eyes before giving cedric a last shove and flying away.

from the stands you watched theodore in confusion ,along with the rest of the audience , staring as he yet again flew in the path of cedric and shoved him to the side before contiuing to chase the hufflepuff chaser.

"it seems like nott is more concered in giving the golden boy diggory a good push rather than actually fulfilling his job , typical slytherins playing dirty in my opinion-" lees comentating was cut off by professor mcgonagall clearing her throat , "sorry professor."

----

the match had ended and purely because of the rest of the slytherin team , they won , however the poor performance of theodore threw the whole teams goal points off.

"what the fuck is wrong with you theodore!?" draco shouted as the team entered the changing tents , "if i hadnt gotten that golden snitch we wouldve lost AND been the comedic relief of all the other houses!"

theodore let out a heavy sigh before sitting down on one of the benches with his head in his hands , pulling his hair aggresively, "shove off malfoy im not in the mood".

"all this because of some hufflepuff mudblood wearing diggorys jersey-" draco started again , before being pushing harshly by a now infuriated theodore.

"the FUCK did you say malfoy?!" theo screamed in his face , being pulled away by lorenzo who tried to calm the situation.

"guys we won and thats all that matters!" enzo tried to reason with the furious boys.

"barley , berkshire! theo over here nearly fucked everything up because of childish jealousy!" draco shouted back , venom dripping off his words.

"who said i was fucking jealous?" theo shouted back as majority of the team turned to him with disbelief.

"you nearly dropped the quaffle twice because you were too busy figuring out how you could shove cedric on the way to the goalhoops-" mattheo started before being cut off by the curtain of the tent being pulled back.

revealing a girl covered in bright yellow , covering her eyes and trying to walk into the tent without falling, "c-can i look?".

the whole tent gaped in shock before lorenzo finally spoke up , "yeah..yeah you can look y/n dont worry."

you quickly uncovered your eyes and blinked as they adjusted to the light , looking at the scene before you which showed theodore being held back from draco by lorenzo and a disapproving mattheo stood in front of the lockers.

"theodore what are you-" you started before being cut off by the boy shaking his head rapidly.

"stop - stop calling me theodore i cant stand when you call me that."

you stared in suprise as theodore shrugged off lorenzos hands and walked over to you, this was possibly the most emotion the boy had shown to you.

"oh uh right sorry , i just wanted to say well done for the match. i was rooting for hufflepuff but there isnt any other team that deserve it more than you guys!" you smiled awkwardly as the team thanked you a short silence following , "anyways , theres a certain hufflepuff thats a bit gutted about his loss so im gonna-"

"diggory?" theo asked with a sour tone as he stepped closer to you , not breaking eye contact.

"yeah , hes upset but i said if he lost id make him a crochet blanket to make him feel better so-"

"but you only make me crochet things." theodore said coldly as you stuttered again , unfamiliar with this behaviour from theo.

"ha , yeah i do but um , i didnt think you liked them so i thought id just put my efforts elsewhere!" you laughed awkwardly.

"the blanket you made him's on his bed , he takes it home aswell because he cant sleep without it-" mattheos teasing was cut off by a sharp glare from theo.

"shut up riddle!" theo seethed before turning back to you.

"no dont be embarassed theo - its nice to know you love it!" you said , finally regaining a comfort in theos presence at this news.

"i love you." he stated simply as the whole room fell into a dead silence.

your mouth hung wide open , as did his teamates before they were ushered out of the room by enzo , your moment with theo requiring the upmost privacy.

"you- you what?!" you asked in pure shock as the final player exited the tent.

"i love you," theo stated again as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"but- but you like hate me , you dont even reply when i talk or smile at me-" you ranted.

"youre right, i hate you. i hate how you love me more than anyone else has before you... i hate your hair and your perfect smile.... and i despise how you make me feel," he stepped so close that your bodies touched and his hand rested on your cheek firmly , "but theres a very thin line between love and hate."

you gaped up at him in suprise , "theo-"

he quickly took a step back and walked to his locker , pulling out a top, more specifically his jersey that he now handed to you.

"take that god awful jersey off i dont think i can handle looking at it for one more second" he said bitterly , staring down at the yellow top you wore with distaste.

"i love you too." you said , still frozen in place and staring up at him.

"i think everyone knows that princess." he said with a laugh , the first laugh youd heard from him in a long time.

a blush spread to your cheeks , both at his words and the addictive sound of his soft chuckle.

"why have you always ignored me if you love me?" you asked still being slightly unpleased with his random confession.

his smile dropped as he frowned and looked at you sympathetically , "i just thought you were doing it all for fun , maybe to mock me or something. i tried to shut out the fact i like you and it clearly didnt work , i was just ...scared." he confessed in a moment of complete vunerability.

you admired him with care and empathy as he spoke from his heart so purely , before your face cracked into a teasing smile , "you know i wasnt actually rooting for hufflepuff?"

he smirked wrapping arms around your waist and pulling you in closer ,"oh really?"

you nodded and pulled the braid in your hair over your shoulder , to reveal the dark green bow that wrapped around the end of it.

theodore grinned upon seeing this as you both giggled , a sweet first kiss following the heart to heart.

[theosmanuscript]

tequila & empty cups

theodore nott x reader

warning: not proof read and its 2 am im dead tired

word count: 800+

synopsis: at an afterparty celebrating slytherin’s big win against gryffindor with bf!theo

author's note: sorry for the lack of content! i’ve been terribly lazy tehe!

Typically, the dungeons of Hogwarts are dark, cold and gloomy. First and second years were always huddled up in a corner, scrambling to complete their overdue assignments. This time, none of them were in sight. The highly anticipated Quidditch match resulted in Slytherin’s favour and like every other win, another raging party was put on. 

Green strobe lights lit up the common room and the air was filled with the scent of intoxication. Pansy and Lorenzo were on the floor, amidst the sea of people, dancing to the rhythm.

The loud music blasted out of the speakers made your heart thump with excitement. Mattheo and Blaise were on top of a table which surprisingly supported the weight of two beefy beaters. The former shouting the lyrics to Weasley Is Our King at the top of lungs along with the rest of the crowd whereas Blaise was taking swig after swig of the Firewhiskey which was graciously provided by an anonymous seventh year. On the other hand, Theodore was seated on the leather chair and you, comfortable on his lap.

“Weasley cannot save a thing! He cannot block a single ring!” Mattheo sang, throwing both his hands into the air. 

You watched with amusement while taking a sip of the strange concoction of punch and tequila out of the plastic cup. Contrary to popular belief, Slytherins knew how to appreciate Muggles’ masterpiece of hard liquor. Theo’s hand stroked your thigh that was draped over him. 

“He’s making a fool out of himself,” Theo whispered into your ear. His breath was hot against your neck and your skin started to tingle. Your heart pounded against your ribs as you looked into his eyes

“C’mon, he’s just having fun,” you replied, holding in a laugh as the table wobbled and Mattheo stumbled. “Couldn’t hurt to loosen up too, Mister Nonchalant.”

Theo snorted and sighed, “I think I need a refill, if you want me to loosen up.”

“I can do it. I need someone to top me up too.” You swung you legs off his lap and stood up, straightening your skirt that rode up. Theo probably had a good view of your ass but you didn’t care.

You took his now empty cup and walked towards the bottles, opening them, careful not to waste a drop of liquor. After all, it was difficult to acquire and sneak the bottles into the castle. 

“Great turn out, right?” 

You jumped at the sound of the voice. Turning around to face Adrian Pucey. He looked far to merry to be sober. You doubted he could walk in a straight line. 

“Yeah, I mean it was the last game before the end of the year,” you said nervously, “I think someone would have to be a bloody prat to miss it.” 

Adrian laughed as he took a step towards you. He was definitely not sober at all to disregard how uncomfortable you looked. 

“Well, I’m glad I made it. Wouldn’t want to miss seeing you here,”

You took another step back, as he reached out to grab your arm and a lump formed in your throat. 

“I have to get back to –” 

“C’mon, baby. You know you want this,” Adrian insisted. He tugged on your arm as you tried to wriggle out of his grip.

 “Pucey, let go of me,” you shrieked. As if you wanted anything to do with this slimy, lame excuse of a man.

“C’mon, we will have so much fu–” 

“She said let go of her,” a familiar, husky voice snapped from behind you. You turned to see Theo standing there, arms crossed and he looked pissed.  

Adrian’s face paled, immediately letting go of your arm. Your arm was painted white. How tightly did the wanker have to grip you? Adrian left as quickly as he came, pushing through the crowd, escaping from your volatile boyfriend.

Theo’s face was dark and if looks could kill, Adrian would have been burnt alive by Theo’s scowl. 

“Are you alright, cara mia?” Theo asked, worry written on his face.

You looked up and sighed, “Pucey was just being a prick. Nothing I can’t handle.”

Theo’s finger went up to your face, stroking your cheeks gently. “I love you.” he professed. He glanced at your lips and held your waist, pulling you closer to him. His lips met yours and your eyes fluttered close. You brought your arms up and placed them over his neck, deepening the kiss. Theo squeezed your waist and you let out a gasp, taking the moment to slip his tongue in, dancing with yours. 

Your eyes opened as you pulled away to take in some air. Looking into his eyes as you responded, “I love you too.” 

© 2024 theosmanuscript. All rights reserved.

[theosmanuscript]

cigarette dates with theo.

[theosmanuscript]

kiss with a fist.

A Ravenclaw with a surly attitude and sharp tongue.

A Slytherin with a cocky smirk and sarcastic flair.

It was no secret that Y/N and Theodore Nott were the worst academic rivals Hogwarts had ever seen. Since first year, the two have been vying for the top spot. As their seventh and final year rolls around, will the serpent and the eagle overcome the titular sins of pride and prejudice and succumb to the brewing tension between them or will their claws and teeth prevent them from acknowledging their feelings?

DISCLAIMER

The characters in this fic are 19+ given the repeat of their seventh year due to the Second Wizarding War.

CHAPTERS

— chapter one. — chapter two. — chapter three. — chapter four. — chapter five. — chapter six. — chapter seven. — chapter eight. — chapter nine. — chapter ten. — chapter eleven. — chapter twelve. — chapter thirteen.

PLAYLIST

💋 kiss with a fist - florence and the machine 💋 baby said - måneskin 💋 high enough - k. flay 💋 bohemian rhapsody - queen 💋 me and the devil - soap & skin 💋 w.i.t.c.h. - devon cole 💋 it's nice to have a friend - taylor swift 💋 people i don't like - upsahl 💋 only love can hurt like this - paloma faith 💋 the way i loved you - taylor swift 💋 18 - one direction 💋 those eyes - new west 💋 we made it - david hugo

TAGLIST

@annaisabookworm @marina468 @yaraasthings @the0doreslover@bubybubsters@moony-artemis @natasha887@lucyysthings@criesinlies @bunnymallowo@niktwazny303 @letmedownslows @siriuslyalovergirl@wordsarelife@clairesjointshurt @daydreamingabthar @mishtay @cherry-hoe  @littlebookbengal @maybefoxysouls @nomup  @aliensknowmyillusions @cinderellawithashoe @starsval @kalulakunundrum @lucyysthings @siriuslysmoking @purplegirls-posts @unstablereader @lqclercs @whatsupb18 @rikirritated @psychedeliccc @jetblackpayne @clairesjointshurt @ama1a2 @omwtkydttfym @cinderellawithashoe @xeqr @txzii @goldenmagnolias @ilikefictionalmen @xxpeachyxo @dirt-cup-draco @willowecho25518 @shulipp @pompeygirl89 @lame-ferrum @dustbunniess @justdizzie @sopsopsopy @therealallisonspear @sweetwonieee @spacecadet16 @moonsreid @grrbrielew @lovemelikecrazyiloveyoucrazy @imaginationlover101 @s0kovianwitch @lucy-is-never-logical @unstablereader @ellieslaces @bellarkefandom @shereadsandcries @hrts4pads @loveforlupin

[theosmanuscript]

i'll be back!

hey guys! sorry for the lack of content but i'm in the middle of preparing for my finals which are next week. i'm working my ass off to pull my grades up so i haven't been focusing on writing much! i promise after next week i'll resume my works LOL! wish me luck, loves.

xx, emi

[theosmanuscript]

THANK YOU!!!!! i'm so happy you like it!

blowing smoke

theodore nott x reader

"i know everything, they don't"

warnings: theo x gn!reader, angst, no comfort, details of kissing

word count: 1k

synopsis: after your breakup with theo, he seems like he is moving on fine, to everyone else. you however, know him too well.

author's note: hi guys! this is my first ever fic i've written for theo. please let me know if you like it or not! i'm always open to feedback :) i dont think i included any pronouns for the reader but do let me know if i did!

You know him. Of course, you do. After all, you spent two years of your life with Theodore Nott. You knew how the murmurs of your housemates set him off. You knew that their silent judging stares took a toll on him. You knew that when he was quiet, he was overthinking every little detail. You especially knew how he would tuck the hairs that escaped your clip’s hold behind your ears. You knew how he acted when he was utterly and truly in love. 

Theo sat next to the pretty Slytherin girl. To everyone else, they would’ve thought he was enamoured by her smile. How could he not be? Who could resist her charm that drew everyone in? There was a reason why she was the “It Girl” in your year. Scratch that, in Hogwarts. 

You watched them across the lake. You clutched your assigned reading that Professor Flitwick gave to your class. The lake was a place where the fresh air took away all your troubles. Theo knew that too. Of course, he would bring her to your special place. Your sanctuary. 

Yet, you knew deep down that they wouldn’t last. None of his relationships after you did. Theo’s eyes didn’t light up when they talked about their day. Theo’s heart didn’t pound every step they took closer to him. Theo’s stomach didn’t swarm with those pesky butterflies whenever their lips left his. 

Every kiss after you wasn’t the same. No longer could he taste the flavour of your strawberry and vanilla lip gloss. Gone were the lingering touches on his chest that made his guts do somersaults. Your absence left a hole in his heart. No, his soul. Your name almost left his lips countless times. The kisses weren’t from you.  

Rage filled your veins as you gripped your book tightly, knuckles turning as white as the pages within. Theo wasn’t in love, you knew that, but how could he share such an intimate moment with someone else other than you? 

Your breakup was far from amicable. Everyone knew how heartbroken you were after his abrupt departure. You spent days cooped up in your dorm. Even Fred and George didn’t try to disturb you. Hermione had even helped you with your accumulating pile of work that has yet to be touched. Harry and Ron had tried to pull you out of your depression with Quidditch games. Luna had listened to your rambling about how it all went down. You knew your friends weren’t the biggest fans of Theo. Hell, even Draco and the rest of his friends left you a place at their table every day for breakfast in the Great Hall. 

So, how could Theo pretend that bringing her to the place where you first met him didn’t hurt? Seeing her hand on his made you green with envy. How could he let her touch her? 

Jealousy coursing through you, you took off. Dusting the dirt off your jeans, you left with tears threatening to spill from your eyes. You wiped them away with the sleeves of your sweater. The sweater Theo had gotten you from that time when you two explored the thrift shops of Florence. 

You had fallen in love with this particular blue knitted sweater. It embraced you in its warmth. 

“I’m not sure why you love it so much. It’s not even brand new,” he spoke. “I love it because you bought it for me,” you said looking up at him. He laughed and put his hand on your waist which was sheathed by the warm cloth, pulling you closer to him. “And I love you,” he said as he planted a kiss on your forehead. You never left home without it, taking it with you to Hogwarts. 

You scowled at that memory as you stomped towards the castle. You just wanted to take his damned lighter to set fire to your brain, burning that memory out of your mind. 

What you didn’t know was that when she touched him, Theo tensed up. She isn’t you, he thought. 

“I need to go,” Theo muttered. 

“Wait, but you said-” 

“Sorry, I forgot that I told Mattheo I would help him with… his homework.” It was a lie, Theo just couldn’t bear letting someone other than you touch him again. Every other time he let another girl kiss him, he was so out of his mind. He was so guilty and ashamed. He knew that you both weren’t together anymore. It still felt like infidelity each time. Theo just wanted to rid you from plaguing his mind. 

What was his rationale for making you feel so jealous? 

Theo knew how people perceived him. He was notoriously known throughout your year as the handsome, quiet Chaser on the Slytherin team who was always surrounded by his usual cloud of smoke. His grades were impressive for someone who barely attended lectures. He was intelligent. Yet, his negligence toward his attendance caused Slytherin many points. He did earn those points back with his talent on the field. However, everyone was thinking the same thing, how could someone like you be with him? 

You were practically on top of your studies, challenging Hermione’s position for each subject you two shared. You were kind to everyone, and so willing to help people out. Respectful to both teachers and students, caring to every creature, and so painfully beautiful. 

Theo knew that he was dragging you down with him. After all, how could someone as perfect as you be with him? At least that was what he thought.

Breaking up with you was the most painful thing he had ever done. He knew that you would blossom without him. He knew you would move on from him sooner or later. He cared too much about you to pull you down straight to the abyss with him. To Theo, to love was to make sacrifices, even the ones that took his soul and ripped it into pieces. It was all for you.

© 2024 theosmanuscript. All rights reserved.

[theosmanuscript]

major writers block. the introduction was 1k words and now im stuck. ill churn out some angst while i get back the inspiration to continue writing fluff!

[theosmanuscript]

i am currently writing another fic teehee! its theo x ravenclaw fem!reader and its FLUFF! hopefully i can post it by the end of this week

[theosmanuscript]

the manuscript | masterlist

blowing smoke: after your breakup with theo, he seems like he is moving on fine, to everyone else. you however, know him too well.

tequila & empty cups: at an afterparty celebrating slytherin’s big win against gryffindor with bf!theo

je te laisserai des mots: all friendships forged between the three schools during the year that was spent in hogwarts as a result of the triwizard tournament meet their end, and saying goodbye is the hardest part. (coming soon!)

© 2024 theosmanuscript. All rights reserved.

[theosmanuscript]

blowing smoke

theodore nott x reader

"i know everything, they don't"

warnings: theo x gn!reader, angst, no comfort, details of kissing

word count: 1k

synopsis: after your breakup with theo, he seems like he is moving on fine, to everyone else. you however, know him too well.

author's note: hi guys! this is my first ever fic i've written for theo. please let me know if you like it or not! i'm always open to feedback :) i dont think i included any pronouns for the reader but do let me know if i did!

You know him. Of course, you do. After all, you spent two years of your life with Theodore Nott. You knew how the murmurs of your housemates set him off. You knew that their silent judging stares took a toll on him. You knew that when he was quiet, he was overthinking every little detail. You especially knew how he would tuck the hairs that escaped your clip’s hold behind your ears. You knew how he acted when he was utterly and truly in love. 

Theo sat next to the pretty Slytherin girl. To everyone else, they would’ve thought he was enamoured by her smile. How could he not be? Who could resist her charm that drew everyone in? There was a reason why she was the “It Girl” in your year. Scratch that, in Hogwarts. 

You watched them across the lake. You clutched your assigned reading that Professor Flitwick gave to your class. The lake was a place where the fresh air took away all your troubles. Theo knew that too. Of course, he would bring her to your special place. Your sanctuary. 

Yet, you knew deep down that they wouldn’t last. None of his relationships after you did. Theo’s eyes didn’t light up when they talked about their day. Theo’s heart didn’t pound every step they took closer to him. Theo’s stomach didn’t swarm with those pesky butterflies whenever their lips left his. 

Every kiss after you wasn’t the same. No longer could he taste the flavour of your strawberry and vanilla lip gloss. Gone were the lingering touches on his chest that made his guts do somersaults. Your absence left a hole in his heart. No, his soul. Your name almost left his lips countless times. The kisses weren’t from you.  

Rage filled your veins as you gripped your book tightly, knuckles turning as white as the pages within. Theo wasn’t in love, you knew that, but how could he share such an intimate moment with someone else other than you? 

Your breakup was far from amicable. Everyone knew how heartbroken you were after his abrupt departure. You spent days cooped up in your dorm. Even Fred and George didn’t try to disturb you. Hermione had even helped you with your accumulating pile of work that has yet to be touched. Harry and Ron had tried to pull you out of your depression with Quidditch games. Luna had listened to your rambling about how it all went down. You knew your friends weren’t the biggest fans of Theo. Hell, even Draco and the rest of his friends left you a place at their table every day for breakfast in the Great Hall. 

So, how could Theo pretend that bringing her to the place where you first met him didn’t hurt? Seeing her hand on his made you green with envy. How could he let her touch her? 

Jealousy coursing through you, you took off. Dusting the dirt off your jeans, you left with tears threatening to spill from your eyes. You wiped them away with the sleeves of your sweater. The sweater Theo had gotten you from that time when you two explored the thrift shops of Florence. 

You had fallen in love with this particular blue knitted sweater. It embraced you in its warmth. 

“I’m not sure why you love it so much. It’s not even brand new,” he spoke. “I love it because you bought it for me,” you said looking up at him. He laughed and put his hand on your waist which was sheathed by the warm cloth, pulling you closer to him. “And I love you,” he said as he planted a kiss on your forehead. You never left home without it, taking it with you to Hogwarts. 

You scowled at that memory as you stomped towards the castle. You just wanted to take his damned lighter to set fire to your brain, burning that memory out of your mind. 

What you didn’t know was that when she touched him, Theo tensed up. She isn’t you, he thought. 

“I need to go,” Theo muttered. 

“Wait, but you said-” 

“Sorry, I forgot that I told Mattheo I would help him with… his homework.” It was a lie, Theo just couldn’t bear letting someone other than you touch him again. Every other time he let another girl kiss him, he was so out of his mind. He was so guilty and ashamed. He knew that you both weren’t together anymore. It still felt like infidelity each time. Theo just wanted to rid you from plaguing his mind. 

What was his rationale for making you feel so jealous? 

Theo knew how people perceived him. He was notoriously known throughout your year as the handsome, quiet Chaser on the Slytherin team who was always surrounded by his usual cloud of smoke. His grades were impressive for someone who barely attended lectures. He was intelligent. Yet, his negligence toward his attendance caused Slytherin many points. He did earn those points back with his talent on the field. However, everyone was thinking the same thing, how could someone like you be with him? 

You were practically on top of your studies, challenging Hermione’s position for each subject you two shared. You were kind to everyone, and so willing to help people out. Respectful to both teachers and students, caring to every creature, and so painfully beautiful. 

Theo knew that he was dragging you down with him. After all, how could someone as perfect as you be with him? At least that was what he thought.

Breaking up with you was the most painful thing he had ever done. He knew that you would blossom without him. He knew you would move on from him sooner or later. He cared too much about you to pull you down straight to the abyss with him. To Theo, to love was to make sacrifices, even the ones that took his soul and ripped it into pieces. It was all for you.

© 2024 theosmanuscript. All rights reserved.

[theosmanuscript]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ : EMI : :;

eighteen. she/her. intp. virgo. ravenclaw. taylor swift and theodore nott fanatic.

hi, i'm emi! writing has always been my escape and i'm so excited to share my work with you! currently, i only write for theodore nott but i am open to writing for the rest of the slytherin boys. i am a taylor swift fanatic so trust that i have psychoanalysed each of her songs from her debut to ttpd. feel free to talk to me about anything! i hope that you all enjoy my artistry <3

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© 2024 theosmanuscript. All rights reserved.