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Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

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Bi Poly Problems

I met the cutest human today. I didn't catch their name and I know nothing about them. They seemed to be a butch female?

The circumstances weren't good, in terms of flirting, given that we were all standing next to two cars that had just been in an accident - my daughter being one of the drivers. It was a minor rearend accident, which my daughter was at fault for.

We were trying to secure the other car's dangling bumper when the cute human ran across the street and jumped in to help. They work at an auto repair shop across the street from the scene of the accident. They were so sweet, and capable, and oh my gosh so freaking cute.

I haven't been this attracted to a female-seeming person in a long time. And we didn't even have time to make a connection. They barely looked at me. But I keep thinking about possibly calling the repair shop to thank them and maybe ask them out for dinner.

But I can also think of a million reasons not to do it:

• I have no idea how old they are, and I'd feel super creepy if they were a lot younger than me

• I don't know if they like women

• It's been years since I've been with a woman and I'm freaked out by the idea

• I'm in a polyamorous relationship and I don't know how to approach someone for dating reasons (outside of online dating) without making them feel like a side piece

I'll probably just let it go, but damn they were so cute. Soooo cute. *sigh*

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Nicely put.

Thoughts on the friendzone?

It doesn’t exist.

If you’re friend with a girl and you want more of the relationship, just make it clear to her.

If she says no, you have to have the emotional maturity to accept it, and put it behind you. It’s tough but it’s better than to ruin the friendship.

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fun holiday conversation starters [OC]

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I feel this exactly. My life and time is full of work and parenting and relationship and family stuff. But I don't feel like I'm giving enough in terms of serving my community, humanity, and the earth. I really want to do more. I just can't figure out how to squeeze it in.

i want to do big things. i want to contribute, to change the world. i dont want to spend my life living normally with a family and a stable job and them die without having really contributed to this world. too many people are fine with just being specks of dust but i want something bigger

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This looks so much like @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses .

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Omg so cute

From @ashmiemu: “I’m so drowsy…” #twitterweek #catsofinstagram [source: https://ift.tt/2StRetH ]

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I knew a straight couple once both named Devin and everyone referred to them as D squared.

i love same sex couples with the same name. “Hi i’m Kevin. This is my husband, Kevin.”

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I need to be here right this second

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Update

Here's the actual cemetery:

And here's the grave:

Possible Vampire

I work directly across the street from an old cemetery. They don’t bury folks there anymore. Now everyone is buried at the new cemetery down the road up on the hill.

It’s a pretty interesting place. The people have been dead for so long, you don’t really get a sense of sadness. More of history. It’s a pioneer cemetery from the gold rush days.

There’s even a corner for outlaws. I’m dead serious. A little cluster of weather-worn tombstones pushed into the back corner.

Anyways, I was walking through the old cemetery today, not really looking at the graves, just getting some fresh air and exercise, when I noticed a strange plot.

Many of the old families, in the late 1800s and early 1900’s bought big family plots and put these low square concrete or granite walls around their particular plot, usually inscribed with the family surname. Like this:

So this one plot, like the picture above, had the little concrete border and the name plate. But no headstones. Not a single one. Instead the entire plot was covered in cement.

It’s cracked into big angular chunks now, but it must’ve originally been a large smooth swath of concrete.

I researched the person buried there.

He was a doctor. Married with a son. Lived in my town for 15 years or so. But moved away again. And died after a brief illness at the age of 62. And sent to be buried in this cemetery.

And then, after he was buried, his plot - his big family plot - was covered over with a thick layer of cement? No wife or son or grandkids to be buried there?

Were they afraid he’d come back?

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Possible Vampire

I work directly across the street from an old cemetery. They don't bury folks there anymore. Now everyone is buried at the new cemetery down the road up on the hill.

It's a pretty interesting place. The people have been dead for so long, you don't really get a sense of sadness. More of history. It's a pioneer cemetery from the gold rush days.

There's even a corner for outlaws. I'm dead serious. A little cluster of weather-worn tombstones pushed into the back corner.

Anyways, I was walking through the old cemetery today, not really looking at the graves, just getting some fresh air and exercise, when I noticed a strange plot.

Many of the old families, in the late 1800s and early 1900's bought big family plots and put these low square concrete or granite walls around their particular plot, usually inscribed with the family surname. Like this:

So this one plot, like the picture above, had the little concrete border and the name plate. But no headstones. Not a single one. Instead the entire plot was covered in cement.

It's cracked into big angular chunks now, but it must've originally been a large smooth swath of concrete.

I researched the person buried there.

He was a doctor. Married with a son. Lived in my town for 15 years or so. But moved away again. And died after a brief illness at the age of 62. And sent to be buried in this cemetery.

And then, after he was buried, his plot - his big family plot - was covered over with a thick layer of cement? No wife or son or grandkids to be buried there?

Were they afraid he'd come back?

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Society treats bisexual females like they're straight girls who are just a little bit freaky.

Society treats bisexual males like they're gay boys in denial.

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in response to the "why you know so much about everything" post, i would like to inquire about the aforementioned banana famine

Ah, yes, the great Banana Famine. Dark, dark days indeed. Gather round my children, I am going to tell you a story of great tragedy.

Eons back, in a strange far away land, in a world now long gone (circa 1950), the Gros Michel reigned supreme. It was the one Banana to rule All bananas. Gros Michel (literally Fat Michael in French, also known as “Big Mike”) was the main banana cultivar grown in Central America and sold around the globe. A noble specimen, it’s thick peel and dense bunches made it resilient, easy to ship, and yes also fat. Look. Look at it. This banana is thiiiiiiiicc

hard to find good photos. it would have also resembled the goldfinger banana. looooook et it, it so thicc

so thicc. 

Ahem.

And all was well and good and peaceful.

Everything changed when the Panama disease attacked.

Ah, the Panama disease. The great banana plague. The Banana Blight, if you will. Songs were written in elegy to the terrible destruction it wrought. Like, actually. Here’s the “Yes we have no bananas” song:

It was Chaos.

Vast tracts of plantation banana trees, noble warriors, slaughtered, cut down in their prime. Ah! the grief. Ah! the loss.

But, amid the havoc of what wikipedia and I refer to as the Gros Michel Devastation Era, an unlikely hero arose. You know it as simply a humble banana. But our hero has a name:

cavendish, it’s named cavendish. 

The Cavendish banana, a cultivar that had been mass produced since the turn of the century, but only just then got it’s Time to Shine. For whatever reason, Cavendish bananas grew just fine in the same Panama disease-ridden soil that destroyed Gros Michel trees. So yeah, we planted them, fought the blight, won the war, got bananas back. 

But every war has casualties. 

Never again were bananas so tasty. Never again, were bananas so thicc.

I warned you this was the story of a tragedy. A moment of silence for our fallen comrade, please. Raise your wands to our late, great hero, Gros Michel.

(You can still get em in some places tho. Or like hybrids? idk. ) 

And kiddies, that’s the story of the banana famine as i know it.

Other deets:

BANANAS HAD SEEDS HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THIS

LOOK AT IT

bananas were cultivated over time to be seedless. 

Bananas were deboned. dwell on that.

unnfff yeah

feels so wrong but so good

unnnfff

misc stuff 

cavendish bananas may or may not be dying. We may or may not see the dark days of plague descend again. idk, look it up.

There’s a story (not proven) that the reason artificial banana flavor tastes weird is b/c it was based on the flavor of the Gros Michel. If so, it might be cause Fat Mike had a stronger taste (due to higher levels of isoamyl acetate). idk.

the “Yes we have no bananas” song was written in 1922 during an earlier outbreak. src.  like any good plague, panama disease has a history of hovering over it’s fearful victims, sometimes for years, before striking the final blow.

sources are in the links above, also see the links on these wiki pages

i swear if i get hate mail on a banana post i don’t even know what i’ll do, probably stab a wall with a fork and eat it.

I want to share one more thing with you.

I saw this with my own two eyeballs. now you have too. we never speak of this again. we take this to our graves

shhit I’m tired. 

you guys owe me a reblog on this one. Honor system, don’t mooch.

-BGP signing off

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Ahahahaha I love this

Hey everyone, so you know organizations like UNICEF and whatnot that allow you to buy the kind of gifts where you donate mosquito nets or something in a person’s name?  Well a lot of those organizations will let you donate vaccines, as it turns out.  Like, right now on UNICEF’s site, providing 100 polio vaccines to kids in need is 19 USD.  And I’m not saying you should buy it and then send a card to an anti-vax relative saying you’ve provided lifesaving vaccinations in their name, but actually that’s exactly what I’m saying

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Yay! @disgustinganimals posted my submission! I totally crush on the person who runs that blog. I hope they're not a literal child.

This is my son Max, resplendent in his fancy underwear.

let me be the first to say… it’s not the cost of the underwear so much as how well it’s tailored. :\ 

also, are you okay max? do you find the crotch area to be too loose? it’s a common problem since most tailors don’t want to cause any trouble when getting measurements in that region so unless you specifically give them permission to be more rigorous, this is what you often get. if you want i can have my guy reach out to you. he’s great with tiny thin legs with a surprising amount of vertical leap

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The weirdest thing happened to me this weekend.

I was in the drive-through carwash. Car is in neutral, track is pulling me along, car is covered in bubbles, can't see anything, I'm looking at my phone... when suddenly *bump!*

At first I thought it was one of the brushes hitting my tires or something, but then I realized I had somehow run into the car in front of me?

And then the carwash was shut off and it became clear that I was the last in a 3-car carwash pileup. The first car had somehow driven off the track, and had been actually kind of badly damaged by the cleaning equipment, but had therefore completely stopped, while the track continued to pull a car against it, and then my car against that one.

So after about 15 minutes of backing up, waiting in the carwash, and finally getting my wash, we drove through to check the damage. Amazingly, my car was unharmed!

But a super weird thing to happen.

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Sentient aquatic blackberries.

“Never Explain Anything” ― H.P. Lovecraft