thepriceofagift

[thepriceofagift]

its been SOOO long since we've had a chapter.. whats going on!?? /gen sorry i just NEED more of pricegift ><

Ahhh! Thank you so much for reaching out! I’ve been very tired and burnt out lately, so my focus has been on recovery! Still, I haven’t forgotten the series and I’ll go back to it as soon as I’m in fighting form again :)

[thepriceofagift]

Sorry guys :(

[thepriceofagift]

your writing is ass xx❤️

Well, it is a hobby :)

[thepriceofagift]

how do you feel abt white people getting dreadlocks and box braids. and if you are white would you get them?

I wouldn’t, no! As for how I feel, well, I’m pretty sure it’s really bad for their hair in addition to being culturally insensitive, if I recall correctly. Doesn’t sound like a fun time.

[thepriceofagift]

i honestly want to say i think your fic is disgusting and the way it romanticizes and glorifies rape and abuse is honestly sickening. as a cptsd transgender autist whose also a plural system the way that u write ur trans mentally disabled characters feels so fetishistic and honestly u just come off as a degen chaser w a ftm ‘agp’ rape/cnc kink. i hate proshippers like you and i hope u get ur reckoning soon enough

much love 💗

I'm very sorry you didn't enjoy my work, but I'm a hypersexual transmasculine abuse victim (also an autist) and I wrote it to cope with my own situation. The target audience was me, myself, and I.

I tagged it properly, so if it triggered you, then there isn't anything I can do about that. I've gotten comments that say they appreciate the relatively nonsexualized and realistic approach with which I wrote it, and say it's been cathartic for them. I guess I don't carry myself on this blog in a very serious way, but that's not my priority.

With all that said, I wish you luck and healing on your own journey, friend.

[thepriceofagift]

Oooh, this is good! Thanks, OP!

Really good for us and what we do (ahem— me and what I do).

I’d say my “style” is also a big, big blend, but definitely way heavier on the non-diegetic; also, read the tags please please please—

https://archiveofourown.org/series/4596199

please help me- i used to be pretty smart but i’m having so much trouble grasping the concept of diegetic vs non-diegetic bdsm!

gfkjldghfd okay first of all I'm sorry for the confusion, if you're not finding anything on the phrase it's because I made it up and absolutely nobody but me ever uses it, but I haven't found a better way to express what I'm trying to say so I keep using it. but now you've given me an excuse to ramble on about some shit that is only relevant to me and my deeply inefficient way of talking and by god I'm going to take it.

SO. the way diegetic and non-diegetic are normally used is to talk about music and sound design in movies/tv shows. in case you aren't familiar with that concept, here's a rundown:

diegetic sound is sound that happens within the world of the movie/show and can be acknowledged by the characters, like a song playing on the stereo during a driving scene, or sung on stage in Phantom of the Opera. it's also most other sounds that happen in a movie, like the sounds of traffic in a city scene, or a thunderclap, or a marching band passing by. or one of the three stock horse sounds they use in every movie with a horse in it even though horses don't really vocalize much in real life, but that's beside the point, the horse is supposed to be actually making that noise within the movie's world and the characters can hear it whinnying.

non-diegetic sound is any sound that doesn't exist in the world of the movie/show and can't be perceived by the characters. this includes things like laugh tracks and most soundtrack music. when Duel of Fates plays in Star Wars during the lightsaber fight for dramatic effect, that's non-diegetic. it exists to the audience, but the characters don't know their fight is being backed by sick ass music and, sadly, can't hear it.

the lines can get blurry between the two, you've probably seen the film trope where the clearly non-diegetic music in the title sequence fades out to the same music, now diegetic and playing from the character's car stereo. and then there are things like Phantom of the Opera as mentioned above, where the soundtrack is also part of the plot, but Phantom of the Opera does also have segments of non-diegetic music: the Phantom probably does not have an entire orchestra and some guy with an electric guitar hiding down in his sewer just waiting for someone to break into song, but both of those show up in the songs they sing down there.

now, on to how I apply this to bdsm in fiction.

if I'm referring to diegetic bdsm what I mean is that the bdsm is acknowledged for what it is in-world. the characters themselves are roleplaying whatever scenarios their scenes involve and are operating with knowledge of real life rules/safety practices. if there's cnc depicted, it will be apparent at some point, usually right away, that both characters actually are fully consenting and it's all just a planned scene, and you'll often see on-screen negotiation and aftercare, and elements of the story may involve the kink community wherever the characters are. Love and Leashes is a great example of this, 50 Shades and Bonding are terrible examples of this, but they all feature characters that know they're doing bdsm and are intentional about it.

if I'm talking about non-diegetic bdsm, I'm referring to a story that portrays certain kinks without the direct acknowledgement that the characters are doing bdsm. this would be something like Captive Prince, or Phantom of the Opera again, or the vast majority of bodice ripper type stories where an innocent woman is kidnapped by a pirate king or something and totally doesn't want to be ravished but then it turns out he's so cool and sexy and good at ravishing that she decides she's into it and becomes his pirate consort or whatever it is that happens at the end of those books. the characters don't know they're playing out a cnc or D/s fantasy, and in-universe it's often straight up noncon or dubcon rather than cnc at all. the thing about entirely non-diegetic bdsm is that it's almost always Problematic™ in some way if you're not willing to meet the story where it's at, but as long as you're not judging it by the standards of diegetic bdsm, it's just providing the reader the same thing that a partner in a scene would: the illusion of whatever risk or taboo floats your boat, sometimes to extremes that can't be replicated in real life due to safety, practicality, physics, the law, vampires not being real, etc. it's consensual by default because it's already pretend; the characters are vehicles for the story and not actually people who can be hurt, and the reader chose to pick up the book and is aware that nothing in it is real, so it's all good.

this difference is where people tend to get hung up in the discourse, from what I've observed. which is why I started using this phrasing, because I think it's very crucial to be able to differentiate which one you're talking about if you try to have a conversation with someone about the portrayal of bdsm in media. it would also, frankly, be useful for tagging, because sometimes when you're in the mood for non-diegetic bodice ripper shit you'd call the police over in real life, it can get really annoying to read paragraphs of negotiation and check-ins that break the illusion of the scene and so on, and the opposite can be jarring too.

it's very possible to blur these together the same way Phantom of the Opera blurs its diegetic and non-diegetic music as well. this leaves you even more open to being misunderstood by people reading in bad faith, but it can also be really fun to play with. @not-poignant writes fantastic fanfic, novels, and original serials on ao3 that pull this off really well, if you're okay with some dark shit in your fiction I would highly recommend their work. some of it does get really fucking dark in places though, just like. be advised. read the tags and all that.

but yeah, spontaneous writer plug aside, that's what I mean.

[thepriceofagift]

https://archiveofourown.org/series/4596199

Yeah…

"came back wrong" what about Came Back Afraid. You used to be brave. Too brave maybe, defying the odds at every turn, a fighter, cocky, playing with fire, first to throw yourself at the enemy. Until one day it all caught up to you. You came back, somehow, but now you know all too intimately how it feels to lose, to die, to be destroyed. Now you flinch and freeze and cower at the slightest provocation. Who even are you now if you can't be brave? The grave may have let you go, but the mortal fear still grips you tighter than ever.

[thepriceofagift]

It do be like that!

I’m 106,042 words deep, and 28 chapters! (you can read it here), if you like :)

It’s really therapeutic!

I can never leave Tumblr because after years of sporadic therapy utterly failed to even approach the core of my problem some random tumblr user was like “I processed my trauma by writing a 10,000 word work of filthy fanfic erotica” and I was like “fuck it I’ve tried everything else” and now I’m 17 chapters and 20,000 words deep into an unpublishable work of obscenity and after careful literary analysis with one of the Beloved Mutuals I have come to some Terrible Revelations about my childhood and may now continue the process of Healing. Where else am I supposed to get this kind of experience. Who does this. Why are we like this. I’m never leaving. I love y’all.

[thepriceofagift]

Author Update (and Worldbuilding Tidbit)!

4/3/2025

Hello, my lovelies! The latest chapter is a comfortable work in progress; however, there remains a lot on my plate, so art may be delayed. On the bright side, Rain World’s second DLC just came out, and I’m completely infatuated!

Since Chatterbox is here, I’ve come up with a lot of Yumkasaur-related worldbuilding. I’ll just stuff my notes beneath the read more if anyone’s interested!

YUMKASAURS:

Fledge at 4 years old

Breeding maturity & independence at 8-10 years old

Live 70-100 years in the wild

130-150 lbs (average adult)

Chatterbox: ~5 years old (youngster), 70 lbs

Yumkasaurs form bonded pairs and mate for life, raising little ones together. They form close friendships and relax in packs, sharing information and catching up in the midday sun.

Yumkasaurs are omnivores, but are able to photosynthesize while asleep. Thus, Yumkasaurs can become overweight very easily if they eat too much. However, food isn’t without its use— like camels, Yumkasaurs stockpile excess sustenance in their large tails. A starved Yumkasaur’s tail shrivels up, while a healthy Yumkasaur’s tail looks like a large, ripe fruit.

The healthier the Yumkasaur, the more lush its fur and vivid its colors; especially during the breeding season, Yumkasaurs of breeding age display particularly vibrant colors and perform complex ritual dances by swinging through the treetops.

Yumkasaurs tend to lean vegetarian, but will behave like eagles and hunt from the air. Certain tribes of Yumkasaurs like to make games out of hunting, which can get them in tons of trouble. More than one merchant caravan has been wrecked by a Yumkasaur pouncing on it from the air; if the confrontation escalates, lives may be lost.

To avoid this, Natlanese merchants in old days would use a sacrificial dog as a distraction. Nowadays, they’ll simply have a friendly Yumkasaur to communicate and keep it safe!

Dogs aren’t allowed on merchant caravans in old Yumkasaur territory, though; in areas where the sacrificial dog tradition remained, the Yumkasaurs will still try to eat the dog!

[thepriceofagift]

I love rereading the series because I see Kinich, as he was before the horrors, and go “awww he’s so precious… why did I do this to him 😭”

I love my tortured son <3

(Series is linked here, beware the tags etc etc)

[thepriceofagift]

I was deeply suicidal at age 12– and yep, this stuff is right.

Life is difficult, scary, and so very hard. It takes years to recover, but it’s never impossible. Take it one step at a time.

Any tips for being a suicidal 15 year old?

When I was a suicidal 15 year old everyone told me “it gets better���, and it sounded like bullshit. And frankly, it still sounds like bullshit. Like oh, what, I’m living in hell and you’re not gonna help me or *do* anything or give me any useful advice and I’m supposed to just hang in there on the nebulous, pithy promise that things are just gonna work out on their own? And you can’t tell me how or why, I’m just supposed to take it on the faith that I don’t have that something might change in ways I haven’t considered?

But yeah. It does. And it’s frustrating as hell.

Yes, things are gonna get better, and they’re gonna get better in ways I can’t describe even after experiencing it myself. Things you don’t even know CAN be different WILL be different. One day you’re just going to step outside and realize things got better somewhere and you didn’t even notice it happening.

And there’s really nothing I can say that makes that sound even a little bit believable.

I guess all I can tell you is that you have to want to believe it.

[thepriceofagift]

THE CHAPTER IS OUT!!!!!!

After a month of accidental hiatus,,

Read it here (link)

I need to sleep

[thepriceofagift]

Doodles from the sketchbook, as well as some notes!

[thepriceofagift]

The Askblog's Open!

Do you like Pricegift? Do you like Kinich? If the answer is yes, then I have great news for you!

Now you can talk to him directly! You can befriend him, pick his brain, and get his opinion on whatever the heck you want. The possibilities are endless; send him memes, get really invasive, or... just tell him that everything's going to be okay.

Of course, he'll respond appropriately to everything you do, and his mindset will be informed by the most recently published chapter of The Gift of Healing (link).

In order to ask Kinich something, all you have to do is include a green heart emoji (💚), and it'll be directed to him. Anonymous asks are accepted, as are asks with media. Additionally, art will be included with each response!

The askblog is also on AO3 as a part of the series- all questions and responses will be displayed in both places. (link)

A list of example questions, as well as a closer look at the artwork above, are both below the cut!

EXAMPLE QUESTIONS FOR KINICH;

What do you think of Mualani?

What's your happiest memory?

If you could have lunch with anyone, who would you eat with?

What's one thing you wish you could change about the world?

Describe your ideal day.

If you became Pyro Archon, how would you rule Natlan?

What's your favorite part of nature?

How are you adjusting to your new circumstances?

If you left Natlan, where would you go?

What labels would you use to describe yourself?

What spiritual beliefs do you hold?

Describe your happy place.

Is there anyone you'd like to get to know better?

What's your taste in music?

Are you okay?

This list is by no means exhaustive! It's simply a place to start, to hopefully inspire you to ask questions of your own or otherwise inspire you.

Hey there!

Thank you for checking the pinned post! Here's where all important information will be. (Check the reblogs for updates!)

1) This is not my primary blog. I use a secondary blog for the same reason I use a pseudonym on AO3; my work almost always contains adult (18+) themes, and I want that separated from my main blog. What does that mean? It means I cannot like posts or follow others using this "blog identity", as Tumblr puts it... So I can't be mutuals.😅

2) What is this blog for, then?... This blog is where I post and engage with content related to what I write on AO3. It'll be how I talk to fans of my work, and I love to talk! People here from AO3 can verify, haha. As of now, I intend to stick to the Genshin Impact fandom, but I will inevitably branch out with time.

3) What content can you expect from this blog? Content on this blog will include poetry, information on my writing process, my own art (both digital and traditional) for my AO3 works, my AuDHD-fueled rambles, and reblogs of fan content.

4) What is my writing on AO3 like? High-effort. I strive for perfect grammar, use flowery language, design Spotify playlists to optionally enhance the reading experience, work hard to update quickly and consistently, post an accompanying haiku for every other update, post a piece of art with every update, and have a minimum word count of 3k words per chapter. I also reply to every comment!

But why take my word for it?

Here's a celebration haiku!

“By the Turnfire’s light, A soul caught in a savage flare. Burn scars, healed by care.”

Thank you for reading, and if you're new here: welcome!

[thepriceofagift]

Hahaha, I don’t just headcanon! I write a whole fic in which the legs, ahem…

✨Get Broken✨

And then dedicate an entire sequel to healing that terrible trauma, of course!

It’s really fun, and rather therapeutic. I love my fictional silly guys, so putting them into situations is just the best! Especially when those situations lead to representation. It’s the whole point of Pricegift, which you can read here; (link)!

As always, check the tags <3

I think HCing characters with physical disabilities is good and should be done more often but whenever I do it I feel like

[thepriceofagift]

Some scribbles from the sketchbook, ft. Chatterbox <3

[ID: Some messy sketches of Kinich and Chatterbox, his Yumkasaur friend. end ID]

Context would be that it’s art for my fanfic duology, which you can read here! (link)

[thepriceofagift]

Author Update (and Announcement)!

3/10/2025

(Under the cut, as usual! ID in alt text~)

It’s testing season, and I’ve been busy trying to balance the demands of my education with my current mission of self-care.

Not a fun time, I must say— Neurodivergency burnout is a boss battle of Herculean proportions, but I’m getting help from my support network! The outlook is optimistic.

However, I’ve started the art for chapter six of Gift! I’m three hours in, but my program’s been malfunctioning just as I’ve entered the painting stage. But hey, it’s ✨progress✨!

In better news, The Price of Foolishness is at 10k hits! I’m thinking of doing something special as soon as I can. Maybe I’ll have this blog double as an askblog (an old Tumblr tradition).

“An askblog? What’s that?”

Great question, imaginary asker! An askblog is a type of roleplay blog where people can use the “ask” messaging function to give characters questions. The askblog will then answer in-character, often with accompanying art!

In simpler terms, it lets you interact with characters directly.

Since this blog is for my AO3 works and my only AO3 upload Pricegift, a Kinich-centric series (link), the askblog would be for Kinich!

You’d be able to talk to the poor tortured boy~

Ask him his thoughts on anything, anyone, himself, etc! He’ll respond, along with some art.

I’ll make a different post as soon as I can with the real details and some example questions to get the ball rolling (as well as AO3 integration for those of you with no Tumblr presence)! Until then, take care of yourselves and others, and stay hydrated! I’ll see you all in the next one <3