thesilmarillionblog

[thesilmarillionblog]

Hello my dear readers after a long long time,

I'm planning to get back to writing after a long break. But I still HAVE to wait for another three months because I have a very very very important exam in three months (it's literally the exam of my life). I'm studying very hard at that moment. If there's still anyone interested in my stories, I'm proud to let you know, I'll write.

Have a nice day. Love you all! ⏳

[thesilmarillionblog]

𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄 ─ Special Part 𝟷

Pairing: Dean Winchester x F! Reader

Warnings: +18! (Minors DNI), SMUTTTT! (their second first time hehe), oral sex (f! receiving), prejaculation problems, jealous dean, unprotected sex, established relationship, gentle dean, insecure reader, sweet, fluff

Word Count: 5588

A/N: English is not my first language.

A/N 2: This is a special chapter for complete series WASTE. You can read this special part as a one-shot or after reading the series.

After seeing how exhausted you were in the mirror, you hurriedly changed and washed your face frantically when your shift finally finished. While brushing your hair, you were moving so fast that you injured your finger, acting as though you were heading into battle rather than meeting Dean. Your boyfriend. Thank you very much.

You've been experiencing butterflies in your stomach and all over since he sincerely expressed a week ago that he wanted to establish a new kind of relationship with you. You remembered how sweet the times he took care of you until you got better were, and you smiled to yourself as you applied lipstick. You continued putting on lipstick just because you were too focused on him to realize that you looked like a clown. Panicked, you wiped your lips quickly once more. God. You needed something like a trial month to get used to dating the person you fell in love with.

It was enough to make your cheeks flush like someone had painted your face crimson to think about him and your first date. You hurried out of the hospital after making sure you didn't look like you'd been working long hours.

When you saw Dean grinning and watching you as you walked closer with small but rapid steps, you were fairly certain he could see how thrilled you were and how your eyes were sparkling with joy. You were afraid that he would feel stuck to you after your confession, but your anxieties were swiftly allayed when you saw him offer his arms.

As soon as Dean had you in his strong arms, your hands found him again, and he started kissing you without saying a word, making you melt with crave. His fingers grabbed your chin and kissed you quickly but passionately. In between kisses, he spoke. “I,” another kiss. “..missed,” One more kiss. “...you too.” There, you were on the clouds.

At last, you withdrew, pressing him to his car while your hands moved from his handsome face to his jacket. When he noticed that you had been acting a little playful since the morning, Dean grinned. He had insisted on waiting until you were fully recovered, even though it had been a while and you were desperate to have sex with him. However, you were skeptical if he was merely taking pleasure in watching you become a little sexually frustrated.

“You know, it seems like you could fill me at any moment.” Dean laughed as he saw himself as the one who had pressed against the car. “I'd rather get spanked on the ass before I get laid.”

You stopped kissing him and giggled at his filthy remark as you withdrew. “I'll keep that in mind.”

He inquired as he opened the car door for you, “So, how was your day?”

“It was good,” you replied, watching him work the car. “For the first time today, Robb and I—” began talking excitedly, but you stopped when Dean's smile vanished and his eyes narrowed, waiting for you to finish your sentence.

“Go on, sweetheart,” he murmured solemnly, mimicking your voice while you bit your inner cheeks to keep from laughing at his voice.

You whispered, “Don't be jelly,” but you couldn't resist touching his hands on the steering wheel. When he was acting unreasonably jealous about Robb, it was difficult to keep your hands to yourself. After all, he was only an old friend. “I'm close friends with him. I was about to say that he and I worked together today.”

“Jealous? Me? He should be jealous of me since I'm the handsome guy in here,” he simply said. It's clear that Dean was attempting to imagine what you meant by working together. There was no doubt that he didn't enjoy the way it sounded. “Does he know about us?”

You were taken aback by the question he asked. You looked at Dean remorsefully, remembering that you hadn't discussed private matters with Robb recently since you were sick and too preoccupied with your lover lately. “Uhm... No.”

“And why is that?” Now that he was really irritated, Dean turned his head to your side, and you told him to keep his eyes on the road.

“We haven't had a proper conversation in the past few days. I was busy with healing under my beloved's hands,” you whispered softly as you lightly traced your fingers over his hand on the steering wheel. When he looked at you for a moment, you gave him an innocent smile, and the corner of his lips curled as he watched you caress his skin in your own naive manner.

“Stop giving me that look. It won't work. I would like to visit you soon so your friend may congratulate us. Is that okay?” Because you didn't want him to have concerns about your close friend, you nodded to him instead of rolling your eyes at him though you wanted to.

“Does Sam know about us?” This time, you queried suspiciously, and Dean cleared his throat, clearly considering his justification. You've got him.

“When we get there, he'll learn.” He continued, almost embarrassed, “We've been busy cuddling and spending time together, right, sweetie?”

“Robb and I haven't spoken much lately since we both were busy,” You whispered, “You didn't bother to tell something to your brother?” You couldn't help but feel a bit uneasy if Dean was reconsidering your relationship. Your hands stopped on him, even if you didn't want to stop touching him as if you were trying to start your first fight by putting physical distance.

“Hey, he's somewhat aware of what happened between us. He finally figured it out before I came to see how you were that day, after all. I felt that we should be very upfront about our relationship before talking to others. Also, I would really like to see Sam’s face when he sees us like this today.” Your heart melted at Dean's unbelievably beautiful action once he took your hand in his and kissed it.

“You're good at words, aren't you?” You gave him a smile, and he was pleased to see how quickly you softened.

“Only when my ass is hunted.” He gave you a wink, and you both chuckled.

Despite having keys, Dean pounded on the door harshly, presumably to annoy his brother when you got there. When Dean grabbed your hands in his and rubbed your skin with his thumb, you felt a sudden wave of timidity. It was funny to watch you becoming anxious, but Dean didn't say anything to stop you from being shy as you continued to nibble your inner cheeks.

Sam was cursing at Dean as he opened the door, and his hair was still shampooed, and he was only holding a tiny towel between his legs, covering his obvious part.  Dean immediately let go of your hand and closed your eyes when he saw that his brother's entire body was visible, but for the small towel covering his dick. “Fucking hell, Sam!” he shouted, and you put your hands on his and loosened his touch because Dean was pressing on your eyes as though you could see something.

“Where the heck are your damn keys?” Sam said firmly, as you heard. He complained about obviously the shampoo getting in his eye.

“Just fucking go to your room and put some damn clothes on!” Dean said, ignoring his inquiry, as if he were speaking to a small child. “Bitch.”

You groaned in frustration, “Dean!” Your hands were tightly clasped around his, and Dean was making sure you didn't see anything until Sam's naked ass vanished entirely. He used his leg to close the door and forced you to move, but you were terrified of hitting a part of your body.

When he finally released his hands, you rubbed your eyes and exhaled in relief. You walked over to him and gave him a light slap on the side of his stomach. “God’s sake, when did you become so jealous? He's your brother.”

“Who's jealous?” As you sat down on the couch, he whispered to you. He immediately pulled you into his arms and squeezed your nose between his fingers, causing you to giggle. “I simply don't want anyone to be seen out in the open, wandering ass naked. I define it as 'home principles'.”

You arched an eyebrow in remembrance of the day you arrived home to examine Dean's wounds and found him walking half-naked, with only a towel wrapped around his belly, as though he was doing it intentionally. “I guess the rules don't work for you, Mr. Winchester.”

“Who knows, maybe I just wanted to impress one of my friends a little.”

You put your finger to his mouth and muttered, “Hmm,” as he approached to plant a kiss on you. “What do you say? Is she impressed?”

“Fell so hard.” His hands were already on your thigh and on top of you when he nearly groaned, taking your hands into his and giving you a tender kiss. Immediately, your leg wrapped over his hips, pulling him closer as you grasped his shirt.

You had both forgotten your surroundings, and Dean's gentle, sweet kisses had changed to forceful, passionate ones till Sam cleared his throat. It had been a long time since Dean had been inside of you the last time. “Hold on for a minute. Since when are you two eating out each other?” Clearly a little surprised as he saw you two become lost in the moment, Dean on top of you, he exclaimed, “What the hell did I miss?” Sam disgusted his brother when Dean was acting like a rabbit in heat while he was around. He frowned.

As soon as you heard Sam's puzzled but playful tone, you used all of the power you had to shove Dean away from you, causing him to groan in agony as he crushed the coach's corner. You patted his back and hastily muttered an apology.

Sam was waiting for a response with his hands folded across his chest when you pressed your lips together and gave him a bashful smile.

“We talked it out; are you blind?” Dean bent slightly and muttered this in a grumpy manner, suggesting that he needed your small massage a bit more. He also pointed out the area that needed your touch. You were yearning to slide your hands under his shirt. It would definitely feel great to be skin to skin. Only to look after him, of course.

He was already being whiny even though you hadn't pushed him that hard. You suspected that all he wanted was your attention, which you were glad to give him in whatever amount he demanded.

“Yes? Now, what are you two? Does it contain the ‘no strings attached’ thing?” Sam sat on the chair and looked at you and Dean inquisitively as he checked his phone, looking like he was waiting for a call.

Your hands on Dean's back slowed. You whispered, “What does that even mean?” Dean became tense beneath your touch.

“Don't you see what we are exactly right now?” Dean said, looking at Sam intently as though he wanted him to stop talking.

Sam gazed at you, amused by his brother's response and the warning that Dean gave him to stop talking. “You've probably heard that phrase before. It's stated on Dean's dating app profile. You just fuck and spend time in a 'no strings attached' relationship, but you never fall in love.”

When Sam explained it, your face sank, and you looked at Dean for a moment before returning your hand to yourself. After all, he never declared he loved you. Even though you haven't fucked yet, you were disheartened to see that Dean was using a dating app like this and had that term on his profile.

“Are you using a dating app?”

“No! I mean, I used to, but not anymore. Deleted already.” He throws a pillow in Sam's face angrily and explains, “Sam is just trying to be a pain in the ass right now.”

“Well, you'd better periodically check his PC and phone, Y/N. Dean probably doesn't mind if you impose some control on him.” When Sam saw that Dean was growing irate, which was a positive sign because he seemed really in love with you, he threw back the pillow to Dean with an enormous grin on his face.

You mumbled, “I don't do that!” But now you were a little curious.

Your eyes narrowed suspiciously. You bit his lip a little when Dean kissed you, but you couldn't help but smile into the kiss when he made a noise that sounded like an animal whining. When Sam got the message he had been waiting for from Ruby, he couldn't help but smile and roll his eyes at your goofy moment before getting up.

“Congratulations, by the way, although I must admit that I thought you and Robb would make a good couple. Friends to lovers, lovers to childhood friends to lovers... It's the healthiest way of relationship building, so I guess it always works. However, picking Dean... Good luck with that. After spending enough time with his insufferable ass, he turns a lot of women lesbians.”

When his brother was telling him that you and Robb would look fine together, Dean shot him a severe look that made him think of absurd things that were disturbing him. He should have just said ‘congratulations’ and departed. In a possessive way, Dean's hand seized your waist and drew you closer to him. “As you can see, bitch, it already worked in a really healthy way. I'm telling you, if you liked him that much, you should give it a shot. You won't work with Ruby anyways. You'll see that.”

“Dean!” you warned him as he began insulting Sam and his girlfriend. You could see he meant every word from the way he was distant while she was around.

“I'm just being honest here,” he defended himself when Sam started to tell how good Ruby was to him they kind of had chemical pull. “He's sabotaging our relationship here.”

“He's just messing with you.”

Sam lifted his hands in surrender as Dean became a little irate as Sam started to walk toward the door, all the while Dean continued to criticize his brother and tell you about the dating service he used and every detail he put there, how it was unimportant.

The last thing Dean said to Sam before he left the house was, “Don't fucking come back tonight.”

“Not on the couch, and use protection!” Sam winked at you, and before Dean could respond, he hurriedly closed the door behind him, his smile wide, your cheeks flushed.

Since you were no longer sick and had the entire night ahead of you, you actually hoped Dean would approach you and so that you could take a bit more pleasure in the relationship you had. You've been feeling somewhat sexually frustrated recently, so you wondered whether he was thinking the same thing. You couldn't help but wonder if Dean was less interested in you since he was eager to spend his nights with women before you, practically used to having fun.

“So,” you began, lowering your voice to block out the unwanted ideas that were distracting you. “What are our plans for tonight?” You moved slightly on the couch and started using both hands to rub Dean's neck.

Dean smiled broadly and quickly sat you on his lap, causing you to gasp. “Well, just like we planned, we're going to watch a good movie and spend fancy time together like the lovely couple we are.”

Even though you were a little bashful, you inquired, “And?” to find out whether Dean had any other splendid ideas with you. After all, Sam wouldn't be here all night.

As Dean watched you try to express what you really intended to happen tonight, his smile widened. Due to wanting you to know that he was real with you and that what you had had nothing to do with sex, he had been putting off your cravings for a while no matter how much he yearned to be inside you.

“And what?”

“You're enjoying this, aren't you?” His hands lingered delicately around your hips as you whispered and moved your fingertips across his chest. He was just taking pleasure in your efforts, even though he got what you were suggesting.

“I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm a naïve man.” You nearly rubbed against Dean as he drew your body closer to his. The way he touched you caused your body to react so intensely that you might melt at any second.

“Well, that's unfortunate. In his home, alone with him, I hoped to spend some romantic time with my boyfriend.” When you tentatively moved on him a bit, doing your hardest to seem confident even if you didn't feel like it, Dean's smirk changed to a cunning smile. He opened his legs wider to offer you extra room to move, as if he wanted you to demonstrate how much you needed him, even though you already wanted him to take action.

“I wouldn't want to shatter my girlfriend's hopes, though. Don't you think that would make me something of an awful boyfriend?” He whispered as his hands gently moved up your waist and into your shirt. You instantly shuddered when he touched you. Even though he had touched you several times, the way he was doing it now seemed different, as though your body was preparing for what was about to happen.

“I think so.” You gasped when Dean's seductive lips fiercely captured yours before you could respond, yet you instantly returned his kisses by wrapping your hands around his neck.

In between kisses, he said, “I've been patient with you, right, sweetheart?” as you frantically pushed yourself against his bulge.

“It would be better if you weren't. I missed you.”

Dean groaned in eagerness against your lips as you spoke, and his hands further squeezed your hips into his manhood to express how much he desired you. He craved this. Your bodies were on the verge of exploding, but shyness was keeping you in control, and he had control over how you moved on top of him.

When he let his hands slide into your shirt and began unbuttoning it, the sensation of his hands on your flesh made your body tremble. He was not quick nor sluggish. He was staring into your eyes when he let it go down on your shoulders. Dean looked at you with such tenderness and desire that it was enough to make your pulse race. But you were too thrilled to blink or even swallow. You just let him do all the work as you waited on top of him.

He continued to maintain eye contact even after you were down to wearing only your bra. After giving you another passionate kiss, Dean carried you to his room. As if to officially proclaim your relationship, you kissed into the smile when you knew you would finally be able to touch and feel each other completely.

Dean placed your body on his bed and used his foot to close the door behind him. When you felt the smooth sheets on your back in Dean's bed, you felt as though it was your first time with him. The first time you spent with him was on the couch, and the second time was in someone else's bed, which was not a very nice experience.

“Are you absolutely okay with this?” Breaking the kiss, Dean asked. His lips were crimson from the kissing.

“Having my attractive boyfriend between my legs? Let me think....” you said playfully while you slid your fingers under his shirt and touched him in a teasing way. “Yes.”

“Good. I don't want to wander around with blue balls anymore.”

You said, “We don't want that,” and Dean kissed you again, more urgently, as if you didn't have any time.

Dean started licking your neck after releasing his hold on your lips to let you both catch your breath. You were a bit nervous, but you didn't want this to stop. Instead of worrying about things, you did your best to give yourself permission to feel Dean in that very moment.

With your hands running shamelessly down his wide chest and muscular abs, Dean swiftly removed his shirt once you grabbed it and signaled for him to do so. Your eyes were now fixed on his body. He urged you to get up a little and unbuckle your bra as soon as his lips started to go downward. You kept telling yourself that you weren't a virgin and that you had waited a long time to do that with Dean when your body tensed instantly, but you didn't want him to feel that way. Under your lover's flawless body, you were all right.

Without waiting a second, he removed your bra and began sucking and softly biting your nipple. Now you had to take deep breaths. Dean dropped his other hand, which was kneading your other breast, and unbuttoned your jeans as he escalated his sucklings after noticing that you were slightly nervous and not unwinding or making any loud noises.

Dean quickly pulled back after he was finished with your tits and removed your jeans with your panties with a single move. He was still wearing his pants, and you were now lying on his bed, entirely naked. When he gave you a sweet yet passionate smile and stared at you intensely, you felt somewhat vulnerable. “You do realize, my dear, that this isn't the first time, right? Why are you so tense?” he whispered as he positioned himself between your legs and started gently brushing you in an attempt to soothe and calm you.

It's true that his gentle hands helped you relax.

“I'm not tense,” you said, smiling shyly but steadily looking into his eyes. Your body was already longing for more, so it would be a huge letdown if he decided to alter his mind now.

Dean started unbuckling his belt while staring straight into your eyes. The noise that filled the room made your heart race even faster, and you thought your walls were already tightening around nothingness as he swiftly removed his underwear and jeans. And now he was lying on top of you, naked too. You couldn't help but smile when you recalled how dark it was and how you didn't see each other well on your first and second times. That would be your second first time.

You grabbed Dean by the neck and started kissing him, allowing all of your worries and negative thoughts to subside as a wave of bliss swept over your whole being. Everything you wanted, dreamt about, and loved was yours. You could tell Dean cared about you even though he didn't say the same three words.

You were reminded of Dean's hardness as he positioned himself between your legs and promptly returned your kisses. This time, you were unable to stop moaning into his lips and wildly lifting your hips to get him to take charge and enter you right away.

“Dean,” you protested frantically into his lips, causing his cock to ache with desire, but he drew back a bit instead of thrusting inside you and spreading your legs more. Under there, you felt like you were leaking.

Dean ran his tongue over your entire body. When his lips moved closer to your abdomen and he didn't stop, you stiffened up again. Your legs shook as you realized he was about to place his head between your legs, right there, so you covered yourself with your hands on your pussy to stop him in his path. You had no clue what he was planning to do.

You said, “What are you doing?” When you covered your pussy with both hands to prevent Dean from sucking you off, he was perplexed.

“What do you suppose I'll do, my beloved? I have to taste you.” Dean swiftly grabbed your hands without waiting for you to speak, and suddenly there was nothing between his face and your pussy. You arched your back.

“Stay still, baby,” he murmured, sounding almost frustrated. “You're gonna love this.”

As you remained still beneath Dean, his lips were now on your clit, and his hands were locked on yours, making sure you didn't interrupt his little enjoyment. Your back arched instantly as his warm lips found your most sensitive spots and attacked your clit to taste you. You moaned aloud as Dean stuck his tongue out and gave your clit a hard lick, and you were now unable to stop suppressing your voice. Your moans became louder the more he nibbled you, sucked you, and kissed you there.

The little, soft noises you were making under him as he swallowed your lovely pussy were making Dean hard as a stone, even though he never liked noisy partners. Once he entered you, he knew it wouldn't take long to reach his satisfaction. Dean continued to suck you in order to ensure that you were thoroughly relaxed. He held himself back and made sure you enjoyed the procedure even though he longed to touch himself when you were arching your back and placing your legs on his shoulders without even realizing it.

You attempted to warn him just before you came. “Wait, Dean! Dean, I'm almost—” As your walls constricted and his lips and tongue continued their wonderful agony, you moaned and attempted to shove him off by also trying to get your hands free of him, but Dean was now holding you still even tighter, intensifying his attacks on your clit.

Rather, he went on to lick your pussy while moving with greater force on your clit. Your legs on his wide shoulders shook wildly as you did your best to break free of his tight grip, but as he pushed his tongue into your wet hole, you reached your peak. It was even more intense than the times he fingered you. This time, you extended your legs a bit wider and started to lift your hips to ensure that he kept his lovely, skilled lips there until you rode your orgasm, rather than attempting to push him away. When you felt him grumbling as he made sure to swallow your come and continued sucking you even after you became too sensitive, you couldn't stop moaning.

As you fought to control your breathing, Dean gave you a gentle kiss on the thighs and climbed on top of you once again. Dean's warmth was enough to warm you up even when you felt cold.

“You have a really sweet taste, honeycomb. From now on, we should do that frequently,” Dean stated, causing your cheeks to flush. “Taste yourself, sweetheart; see how delicious you taste.”

Now that his tongue was inside your lips, Dean groaned as you gave him a more intense kiss as he tasted your own cum. The intensity of your kisses increased with every second. You stiffened up uncontrollably again when Dean grabbed his pulsing cock into his own hands and drew back a bit. You didn't have any second thoughts, or there was nothing wrong. You were desperate for him to enter you. But you couldn't help but become a little nervous.

Dean gave his thick cock a few more strokes while spreading your legs a bit wider. You became excited when you realized he wanted to get inside of you without using condoms. In any case, you were on the pill.

Uncertain of what to do at this point, you grabbed him by the shoulders as he positioned himself between your legs. He was staring into your eyes as he slightly pushed himself within, but you tensed up and pulled back without noticing.

Eagerly, “Come on,” he urged. “You're wet enough to take me. Just relax.”

You said, “Sorry,” in an apologetic tone, afraid that you would spoil this wonderful moment.

“It's okay.” Dean responded gently, “Just look at me,” but it was obvious that his cock hurt and that he needed to be inside you now.

You looked into his eyes as you moved slightly beneath him and placed your hands over his back. You hoped your flushed cheeks and messy hair didn't make you appear ridiculous.

Dean pushed his cock within you without waiting any longer after giving himself another stroke. You were fighting to keep from nailing his back while holding your breath. Dean was thick, but not particularly long. It was just the head inside of you when you whimpered.

You frantically said, “Dean, slow down!” as he kept pushing his cock. Even though you were bizarrely more at ease the previous time, this time seemed different. You were a little worried up because you wanted him to feel good. Perhaps you should have offered to give his cock the same mouth action. Is it appropriate to make the offer now? You didn't know.

“I'm not even moving fast. Calm down, you're almost there,” he said. “You're doing so good.”

His praises caused your body to relax a bit. However, your walls clenched around him due to the pressure his cock provided. It seemed as though you were on the verge of experiencing your orgasm once again. Dean looked at you as soon as he sensed that. “Don't come yet.” But your body was out of control.

Dean groaned, realizing that despite his best attempts, you were a little too sensitive and tense at the moment. Then, with a single thrust, he shoved his hardness inside of you, making you moan and bite your lips fiercely. His hands were buried on each side of your hips as he grumbled, nearly in agony, “Fuck, how are you so tight?”

The way you were tightening around Dean and staring at him with your gorgeous red cheeks didn't make him any softer. You were both like teens now, but he needed to take his time and enjoy that moment with you. "Will you just quit clenching, sweetie? You're a lot tighter already." He said, “I won't be able to hold it back,” as Dean withdrew slightly and thrust in you again.

You responded, “I'm really trying,” but you knew you wouldn't last long.

“Fuck,” he whispered, and without wasting any time, Dean started to fuck you quickly and deeply after realizing that you couldn't control your body at the moment.

“You feel so good around me, so perfect,” Dean said, groaning against your lips and placing his hand on your chin, amazed at how tight you were around him. “Are you mine?”

He kept slapping his hips into yours, but you were just able to moan and wrap your legs around his hips. “Always,” you murmured. Your heart was pounding with nervousness and thrill as the room filled with the filthy noises made by skin contact, yet you continued to stare into Dean's eyes in awe at how much he was having fun fucking you. Your spirit purred with joy as you could see him getting satisfaction from the way he tightened his grip on your chin and his increasing speed.

“Dean!” you cried out in despair as he aggressively and deeply drove his cock inside of you, causing the bed to shake and the walls to slam.

“Don't come yet, sweetheart!” Your walls suddenly clutched around him so tightly that you couldn't contain yourself, and your orgasm hit harder this time. When you realized you hadn't given him exactly what he wanted, you felt worry growing.

As your climax continued to make you quiver with ecstasy, you frantically exclaimed, “I'm sorry!” as you continued to move beneath him as though you could flee, but Dean's firm grip on your hips prevented you from moving.

With a loud moan, Dean buried his head on your neck and started painting your walls with his white ropes since he could no longer hold himself back. Your eyes widened in surprise as you felt his thick cum in your walls while you were still shaking from orgasm and realized he didn't pull back this time. You shivered as you felt him spilling since you didn't think he would, but as you focused on his moans and how he jerked inside of you, your lips gently curved into a smile. The way he kept you motionless as you both rode your orgasm was so intense and fulfilling that you could come again, even though.

Dean offered you a reassuring smile and a hard kiss on the neck after your orgasms had subsided. “Well, it looks like we have too much to do with your sensitivity.”

You smiled shyly at him. “You shouldn't have teased me for that long.”

Dean laughed, then put a blanket over your bodies and grabbed you in his arms after kissing your forehead strongly and affectionately. You were already feeling drowsy. “Look on the bright side. Practice makes perfect, right?”

You smiled and murmured, “We'll see about that,” as you drew nearer to him, prepared to get some sleep.

Observing that you were already ready to go to sleep, Dean assumed that you wouldn't be prepared for the second round. He should undoubtedly have needed to work on that as well. His arms were drawing tighter around your body. You realized that you couldn't be happier right then and there.

A/N: It's not very good, sorry for that but I hope you like it. Let me know what you think pls <3333

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[thesilmarillionblog]

A CHRISTMAS CAROL

THE BOYS: Christmas Special 🎄

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Reader

Summary: Along with other team members and their infants, Soldier Boy and you decide to spend Christmas at Butcher's house with your three children. He has to act nice.

Warnings: discussion of divorce, bittersweet, fluff, angst with sweet ending. everyone has children, Ben sings "Rapture".

Word Count: 4044

A/N: English is not my first language. Divider: @strangergraphics ❤️

When your oldest child, a three-year-old son, told you he had to pee, you screamed out Ben's name while you were packing your babies' luggage.

Since he had been working on mending his car since the morning and you were here trying to care for all three of your babies at once, you practically yelled out his name, “Ben!” once more in an attempt to obtain some of his help. Actually, since your first child was only three, you had no intention of having any more. Ben was the reason you became pregnant so quickly for the second time. It was almost amusing how certain he was that he hadn't come inside you that night and pulled back just in time. Almost.

Tonight, you were going to spend the Christmas with others and their babies at Butcher's house. Your son enjoyed spending time with Ryan, and you thought it would be a warm and lovely Christmas to hear all of your kids screaming and having a good time together. Additionally, you wanted Ben to interact with his grandson. It wasn't the sweetest time for them years ago. Ryan was a kind and lovely kid.

You apologized by kissing both of your babies on the forehead after they both jumped in fright at how you spoke. “Sorry, sweet little pies.”

You said, “You hold on a little more, sweetheart,” as Ben eventually entered the house and shut the door.

He asked, “What now?” as though he couldn't see how much you were struggling, which made you somewhat irate, but you were keeping your cool so as not to scare the kids. You will discuss this with him at another time. You took a deep breath to help you relax. If not, you will quickly lose your shit. But Ben's recent actions were really getting on your nerves.

Your son, who was moving constantly to avoid the obvious, exclaimed, “Daddy, pee,” as if he were going to cry.

Ben said, “Fu-, come here,” as he swiftly lifted your son, Jared, and ran to the bathroom. At last. You chuckled at Ben's encouraging remarks about how your son was doing well and had strong self-control as you saw him run to the bathroom with Jared in his arms.

“You come back!” you exclaimed in a panic as you noticed that your one-year-old daughter, Jeanna, had truly begun to run and crawl on the carpet when you removed her pants to change her diaper. She climbed down the couch, but you couldn't even see it.

She made a joyful noise when she heard your voice and paused to study your face, which made her to giggle even harder. After you stood up to grab her before she carried on crawling. You were glad she was only a half-Supe and not yet displaying any of her abilities because she crawled so swiftly. Her strength would be impossible to handle otherwise. However, you can think about getting her ready for the Super Olympics in the future.

She screamed delightfully as you took her in your arms and put her back on the couch. For her, it was just another game.

Diana, your other daughter, remained composed despite watching her twin crawl with perplexed eyes and then attentively examining her own feet. She clearly got your coolness and persuasiveness in particular. But Ben never agreed with that. When it came to expressing and reflecting her feelings, Jeanna was a lot like her father. She was emotional and found it difficult to accept rejection when Ben or you refused to give her what she demanded. Just as your son and Ben returned, you gave Ben a look that conveyed your own rage. Jared proceeded to play with his sister's cheeks, expressing his affection for them.

Ben wasn't making your day any easier, even though you wanted to make this Christmas lovely and your kids happy by spending the holiday with your friends and their kids as if you were a big family. As you struggled to care for all of your children alone, like a single mother, you felt alone lately as you watched Ben become engrossed in his job in Vought and his new car. You were on the verge of a breakdown, but you managed to hold back your coolness by concentrating on your twins.

Ben swiftly sat next to you after seeing a change in your mood and moved your face toward him, kissing you firmly as though it would make everything better.

You wanted to playfully threaten to divorce him to get on his nerves, but you kept your tongue shut since you knew Jared would feel awful and might have assumed he was acting improperly. Children did, after all, have fragile sensitivity and were vulnerable. Ben made things really hard at times, but you were being overly cautious.

You simply replied to Ben's kiss and smiled, but he sensed that something wasn't quite right. You said, “Can you help me with these, please?” before he spoke.

While you changed your girls' clothes, you ordered him to hold both of them straight. As you tried to control the tremendous emotions Ben caused, you couldn't stop kissing your twins one by one since they were so adorable in their matching little red outfits.

Ben whispered, “Look at that dress and little shiny socks,” and kissed each of them on the forehead for a few seconds while closely examining you to make sure everything was okay. Both of your daughters were bothered by his beard and pushed Ben's face away.

“All clean and nice now,” you whispered, kissing their cheeks briefly. You never stopped showing Jared the same affection and attention since you were so tuned in to his emotions. You even gave him additional kisses to let him know that he wasn't being replaced or anything.

You could already see both of your daughters playing with their toys on the carpet. Jared continued to demonstrate his limited strength by carrying Diana on the carpet and offering her his favorite toy in an attempt to entice her to play with it. Having an older super brother to keep them safe was an excellent thing.

“Hey, what's wrong?” Ben inquired as you shifted your face toward him and he drew your body closer to his. His green eyes grew anxious as he saw your practically teary ones. He immediately cleared his throat in guilt and attempted to explain himself. “The car is a little difficult these days, you know. In order to keep us from being late, I had to handle it.”

“It's not about that, Ben,” you interrupted him before he could say anything more.

“What is it about then?” He now seemed somewhat harsh, and you immediately began weeping when you saw how indifferent he was toward you despite the fact that you were giving him and your kids all of your energy. It was simply too much for you. You weren't even a Supe.

You gave him a brief glance before getting up to go to the kitchen so that neither you nor he could raise their voices and frighten Jared as he played with his sisters in such an excited manner and was enjoying himself. You didn't want to talk at this moment and ruin the day.

Ben immediately followed you into the kitchen as you began cleaning things to relieve yourself of your miserable state of mind. To your astonishment, he turned your body toward him after taking the dishes from your hand and gently setting them aside. “Come on. I didn't mean to sound that way. Let's talk it out. Why did you become upset so quickly? Don't shut me out.”

You were nearly soothed by his kind tone and the way he held you in place while massaging your back with his fingertips. You gave up trying to get rid of him and laid your arms across his wide chest instead. Recalling your divorce-related ideas, you stated sourly, “You're going to make me a widow soon.”

Ben initially got confused by what you were saying, but he quickly offered you a huge grin, confirming that he lacked the intelligence to understand what you were talking about. “Well, I'm not planning to die soon, but you may try, love.”

Instead, you remained calm and smiled miserably at him. He needed to understand that you felt alone in this marriage and didn't want to do anything by yourself anymore. “I wasn't thinking about killing you.”

His smug grin abruptly vanished, and he turned to face you in confusion.

“I am talking about divorce.”

You spoke so harshly and definitely that you could swear Ben's face turned pale. Great. He needed to know the consequences of his behavior, but even uttering that term out loud made you shudder with something you never wanted to express. You weren't sure if he truly cared about your situation because he was so preoccupied with his work and his dumb car. You only needed a bit of help.

He eventually said, “Fuck, no,” while hugging you tighter. “I can't believe you just said that word right to my face.”

Now amused by the way his face turned pale and the way his arms tightened around your waist as though you were about to abandon him, you did your best not to smile and continued to gaze at him solemnly without breaking your character. Ben was shocked to hear such things because you hadn't spoken of them before, and he knew how much you loved him. He waited for a response, but you kept quiet to avoid making him lose his mind. It might be a useful lesson.

He had confidence in himself too much.

“You're not serious, right?” he asked, affectionately caressing your neck and hair. Ben swallowed and said sternly, “Why are you bringing up such nonsense when we can discuss it? I told you that I was only taking care of the car so we wouldn't be late.”

“You make me feel lonely in this,” you muttered, observing his unexpected outburst of rage. “There are moments when I think I'm the only one attempting to help them grow up. It was fine when there was just Jared, but now that there are three, things are different.” You took a deep breath to avoid becoming angry and making this into a small fight. “What am I? A single mother?”

His ego had been bruised since he believed he was simply doing okay as a father and a husband, but his eyes instantly became softer. You felt sympathy for him since you knew precisely what he was thinking at the time, yet you put up with his actions to the point where you wounded yourself in order to keep his pride intact. Despite how much you loved each of them, what you were doing was enough for him and your children, but it was consuming your soul and drowning you with a flood of despair.

He calmly remarked, “Of course you're not alone,” and gave you a firm hug after seeing how worn out you were. “You know, I thought I was simply doing okay. But you're right. Considering that they are all newborns and that we have recently become quite crowded, I should have shown more consideration. I know. But from now on, I'll be better for you and our lovely little soldiers, okay?”

His gentle and caring comments made your heart melt. You needed him to spend a little more time with you and your children, not that you want to discourage him. Being a supe, he most likely had no idea how much energy it took to deal with them all at once.

You sighed and gave him a hug in return.

“Yes, caring for all of them at once—breastfeeding, putting them to sleep, dressing them, changing their diaper... can be truly exhausting. Without you keeping an eye on them, I can't even take a nice shower. Ben, I need you to see just how tired I am. I need more, even though I know you're trying your hardest. For me.” You continued to stroke his arms, demonstrating your love and making sure he heard your pleas without coming across as aggressive or harsh this time.

Ben kissed your forehead and continued to softly touch you because he was so moved by your words and how you still did your best to comfort him in spite of his wrongdoings. “I... keep forgetting that they are my babies and half-supes, which is obviously considerably harder to deal with. I know that. Nothing is more important than you.” With your hands between his, he muttered, caressing the top of your head while giving you his most intense and sincere glance. “I love you.”

You gave him a deep kiss and withdrew a bit. “I know.”

When you didn't use the same terms, he was offended. “Who am I? "Princess Leia?” he complained, eagerly awaiting you to say the same thing. It was easy to break his pride today.

You chuckled. “I love you too, Ben.”

“The new house rule is similar to the one you mentioned about ‘not swearing’: You will never use that word again: Divorce. Otherwise, I'll have to punish you, sweetie. Do you think that I wish to punish my children's mom? Absolutely not.” Ben picked you up with ease and put your body on the kitchen sink, which made you giggle. “So let's watch our naughty mouths,” he added in a humorous voice to lighten your mood.

“You wouldn't want to punish me,” you said, gradually lowering your hands until they touched his bulge. Ben shoved himself against your palm when he saw that his green eyes were gleaming with anticipation. Ben pushed up your skirt, and a sneer appeared on his lips. He gulped when he pulled back a little and dipped his head to see what you were wearing underneath.

He moaned, “Fuck,” and kneaded your legs firmly. “How the fuck did I not notice you were wearing this all this time?”

But as soon as you straightened your skirt, he gave you a lustful glance. You said, “I really don't want to manipulate you, but—” as you brushed his neck and played with his hair.

“Well, I'd like to be manipulated right now,” he interrupted. “Use me, take advantage of me, and brainwash me. I'm all yours.”

You were chuckling when he toyed with your skirt and gave you happy grins in a playful manner. As Jared kept your daughters occupied, you both glanced in their direction as your daughters screamed with delight in sync. Ben focused on you once again after determining that nothing was wrong. He touched your chin and made you focus on him again and look at his eyes.

“You were saying?”

“Well, don't get angry over nothing and don't cause any trouble tonight. That's all. Very easy. There is nothing that the strongest Supe Daddy cannot handle.”

“You are aware that I am a hot-tempered man? Given that we'll be spending Christmas listening to Hughie and Butcher's crap, what you want from me is pretty difficult.” Ben replied, causing you to extend your legs a bit wider as his fingers lingered on them. “What will I get in return if I behave just like you want?”

You smirked at the fact that he was always prepared even if you had a busy sexual life. However, it had been months since you felt him inside without a plastic barrier, and he was irritated when you told him to use a condom. In actuality, you were driven to discipline him for failing to pull back at the right moment a year ago.

But you loved your daughters. You were happy that they happened. It was only about Ben's confident ass refusing to acknowledge that he hadn't pulled back in time.

You smirked as you noticed him growing eager and ultimately agreed not to ask him to wear those dumb fucking plastic condoms. “Without a condom, while wearing this, all night, just you and I,” you added abruptly. He hadn't felt how you felt in such a long time, and sometimes it was becoming agonizing.

“Wait. You mean it?”

“I mean it. If you-”

“Deal,” he responded immediately, without waiting for you to complete. For a day, it wouldn't be so difficult to be fucking polite. However, he had no intention of behaving like a jerk while he was with you and his children for Christmas already.

Ben jokingly remarked, “You know what you want from me is not even that difficult. Just admit you miss the feeling of my cock, the times I fuck you raw and deep. I could probably knock you up again without even properly filling you with my cum, love.”

You slapped him across the chest and said, “Keep it low!” He kept forgetting about Jared at times. “And... I guess we'll never know.”

You grabbed him by the shirt and gave him passionate kisses till the babies interfered, your heart bursting with delight at how excited he was already and how he began telling you how good he could be.

Ben cursed out loud at Butcher for making you wait at the entrance for a short while while he was carrying all of your children in one hand and clutching the gifts in the other when you arrived at the enormous place he had rented for Christmas. All you were doing was trying to soothe him while you were carrying their luggage. When his father used the F word, Jared looked at you and laughed. He knew you didn't like it when his dad used such words around the kids. 

Ben remarked, “I'm going to break this damn door down now,” and he gave you the impression that he only needed your approval.

“Then you're gonna fix it yourself!”

Ryan opened the door and greeted you like a gentleman just as Ben was going to smash it with his leg. He was such a kind boy.

Ryan used to spend his time with Jared whenever you came to visit because he was now living with Butcher. He was like a brother to Jared.

When Jared saw Ryan standing in front of him, he quickly urged Ben to release him, and Ryan grabbed him. Meanwhile, Ben continued to curse Butcher and the others; they were simply preparing the table. Children were screaming all over the house, and when they spotted your babies and Jared coming, they screamed even more because they knew their new gaming buddies were back home.

“Hey,” you said, setting the bags next to the couch. You then took the gifts Ben was holding and put them beneath the Christmas tree and gave Annie and Kimiko a brief hug.

Ben put your twins on the carpet and said, “I swear I'm gonna break that damn door on your head one day,” as your twins became excited upon seeing other infants and tried to get rid of their father's tight hold.

When he stated, “You all play nicely, alright?” Ben surprised you by lightly touching Hughie's one-year-old daughter's head. You didn't make any remarks about Ben's small, sweet gestures to make him feel shy. He didn't need to try being polite sometimes. He was more sensitive since he became a father. Something had changed in him.

Butcher grinned and remarked, “Are you kissing your babies with that mouth? There were just three of you last Christmas,” as he glanced at your twins. “Look at how crowded you are right now. What are you? A rabbit family in heat?”

Ben, sitting on the couch, laughed at his remark. “What can I do? I shoot my shot well.”

“Yeah? When Hughie's little boy grows up and starts making moves on one of your daughters, I'll see you then. You'll all get along well as relatives, won't you, Annie?”

“Say that shit again?”

Butcher's smile grew when he realized he had hit a sweet spot to get Ben's nerves.

When Ben suddenly became unreasonably frustrated, you sat next to him, and you kicked his leg. While Annie, MM, and Frenchie set the table, you watched Hughie use a milk bottle to feed his son. You were touched by his dedication and his constant smile.

Your head began to throb from the sounds they made as Ryan and MM's daughter assisted Jaden and others in playing games, but it was a pleasurable ache.

It was beautifully snowing outside as the hours went by while you were seated at the table, deep in conversation. Ben was eating turkey like he was starving and was talking about how difficult it was to be a father and how war and fighting superheroes were much easier than anything else because fathering required so much contemplation. You didn't hurt his pride and interrupt, but you and Annie exchanged glances and rolled your eyes when Hughie agreed with him, and they spoke as though they were the ones who gave birth.

Your heads turned back when you heard a guitar sound. While his sisters were destroying the strings together, Jared was playing with it. Jared was behaving like a professional and had a humorous look on his face. Then he stood up and touched his father's legs while carrying the guitar.

“Hey, where did you find this?” Ben asked when Jared instructed him to take it.

“Can you play this?” Without waiting for Ben's response, Frenchie requested and promptly stated the names of the French songs he wanted Ben to sing.

Ben put the guitar and Jared on his lap as he became filled with enthusiasm. “Of course I can.” To feel like he was the one playing, Jared placed his tiny hand on his father's big ones. He looked at you and smiled shyly to see if his mom was proud of him. You blew a kiss to him and smiled.

Ben began singing his well-known song ‘Rapture’, and you had to control your laughter to keep from embarrassing him. You had to think negative stuff to avoid ruining his and Jared's mood because of how serious his face was and how he was acting like a pop star at the time. Jared wasn't any different.

Since everyone was trying their hardest not to crack up when you looked at their faces, Jared and Ben were the only ones on the clouds there.

Butcher was tearing up as Ben said the ‘Rapture’ line because he was unable to contain himself any longer as he laughed out loud.

Ben gave Jared the guitar, instructing him to play like him for his sisters and younger buddies to show how talented he was, and when Jared ran to his sisters and buddies, he stated, “I'm gonna break this on your damn head,” giving Butcher a stern look.

You told him, “Don't be a dick, Butcher,” and rested your chin on Ben's shoulders. “Baby, you did perfectly. I had no idea you were such a good guitarist, you played so well.”

Ben was proud of your compliment and forgot about Butcher. He winked at you and remarked, “I'm good at playing with many things,” as if to remind you of your little arrangement.

“There are already enough babies. Because of these random sperms, I am going to become mute, I’m telling you.”

As she held the baby on her lap, Kimiko gave him the middle finger and made Annie's son do the same gesture with his tiny fingers. When Annie's son made a happy sound, as though she knew what was happening, Kimiko was grinning broadly. Butcher claimed that Kimiko's nasty demeanor would spoil Annie's son, but Frenchie told him to shut the fuck up. Ben was feeling better when he saw everyone opposed to Butcher.

As the night went by, you all talked about wonderful memories while simultaneously handling your babies. The house was filled with your babies' happy screams as the snow poured outside, providing you with the ideal setting for the start of the new year. Your back was pressed against Ben's warm chest as his powerful and gentle hands caressed your arms. Remembering how he sung his own carol, Rapture, with such a solemn tone and face, made you smile uncontrollably.

A/N: I'm not proud of this work, but I hope you like it. :/ I'll be better, I promise...

Permanent Taglist: @ladykitana90 @kamisobsessed @artemys-ackles @thecutestaaakawaii  @supfan67 @suckitands33 @mggsrightfoot @kimxwinchester

[thesilmarillionblog]

𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭: 𝟏𝟎

Click here to read the first part.

Summary: You and Soldier Boy want to create a family and move on from everything, even the Vought, but you also know that he has to face Homelander one last time to keep his vow to Butcher. However, nothing turns out as you had hoped.

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Reader

Warnings: +18!, SMUT!, angst, hurt, memory loss, language, handjob, kinda sexual frustration, butcher is a liar, reader is manipulated, reader is confused, naive reader

Word Count: 9172

A/N: English is not my first language.

Even though you still needed some sleep, you reluctantly woke up because you felt uncomfortable in Soldier Boy's strong grip and had to warn him to release his hold or he would end up killing you. It was difficult to communicate since you had remained uninformed of his real name, and he was adamant about keeping it under wraps. It would be strange to refer to him as a ‘Soldier Boy’ given all of the intimate memories you have of him.

You sighed audibly in frustration when you finally shifted since his hold was not easing at all. You were annoyed that he didn't care and continued to sleep, so you pleaded, “Can you just let me breathe?” Finally, Soldier Boy released his hold after making an extravagant noise. However, this time, he made you sleep on him by turning you around. You may have believed you were sleeping on a winter bear because of how loudly he was breathing.

You closed your eyes again and murmured softly, relieved at how much control he had despite being unconscious and finally relaxing. You groaned when his hand reached your ass and began to knead it with deep moans. His body was already awake, but he was still in a deep sleep. When his hardness poked your thigh, your cheeks flushed, and you whimpered as you opened your eyes once more. His face was serious when you looked at him, though he wasn't awake. He didn't appear to be sleeping peacefully; instead, he seemed to be battling in his sleep.

Unconsciously, Soldier Boy began rubbing your thigh against his firm cock after turning your body once again. He is clearly having a morning wood at the moment. His hold on your thigh grew stronger as he began to growl. You put your hands on his wrist in a panic and whispered, “You're hurting me!” in a pained voice. That hurt. 

“What the hell?” whispered Soldier Boy as his eyes slowly opened and his grip instantly relaxed. 

Before you turned to face him, you shoved his heavy hand off your ass and rolled your eyes at his drowsy voice. “You are trying to fuck me in your sleep.” To check if your thighs were already bruised, you tossed the blanket aside and slightly pulled down your leggings. You asked him since you couldn't see much. “Are there any bruises?” 

After stretching and rubbing his eyes, Soldier Boy gently pushed your hands away to check for injury. As he concentrated to see your skin with extreme caution, his thumb gently stroked it. “Just a little bit. Nothing serious.”

It was not as bad as the early days of your relationship when he fucked you a little rough. Just a little. He had figured out how to keep you unbroken since you liked him when he was being soft and tender with you. He had ruined you a little about that later on, of course. 

You snorted at his answer. “Which I'm lucky for that.” 

“You seem like a really whiny person these days, don't you, sweetie? waking me awake because of a tiny, invisible red spot.”

Soldier Boy woke up completely, but he restrained himself from slapping your ass in order to give it a nice bruise and take you. He frowned as soon as he felt his cock erect, just as he was ready to say something naughty in response to make your cheeks flush instead. A challenging stone seemed to be between his legs. “Oh, fuck.”

You let go of your sweatpants and stopped checking on yourself when you saw his pained look. With curiosity, you inquired, “What happened?”

After inhaling deeply, Soldier Boy turned to face you. You felt heated all of a sudden as his intense gaze actually poured down on your body. His eyes were piercing. “Guess I have a problem down there.”

When you noticed his shaft was pushing his sweatpants as if his cock was trying to break free, you turned to face Soldier Boy once more; your cheeks reddened, and his solemn expression was amused by your reaction. You'd be shocked if you could recall how many times he fucked you in the mornings, not even opening his eyes, and woke up as if your body were water in the middle of the desert. He should have already torn off every single piece from you and buried himself inside of you.

“Do you need...help?” You muttered, unsure of how to respond to everything. You wanted him to help you through all of this, even if you were unsure if the same thing had happened before and how you handled it. After yesterday, you owed him. You feel somewhat under pressure. You tried not to come across as overly bashful because you had already helped him in that room days ago. You kept reassuring yourself that it wasn't the first time.

Soldier Boy's wicked expression softened, and an instant smile landed on his lips as soon as you asked him to offer your assistance in the innocent tone he adored. He wasn't sure if he should continue to keep teasing you. He could have come up with more methods to make you feel bashful till your entire body reddened if his cock wasn't already throbbing. It was an appealing notion. He couldn't help but tease you as you stared at him in that manner, so he responded, “How do you think you can help me?”

You shifted gently on the bed, licking your lips nervously as you saw him put one hand under his head. His messy hair had a wonderful, exotic fragrance that you could taste. Ignoring his gorgeous appearance would be foolish. You put your palm on his hardness without taking your eyes off of him to see how he would respond. He felt prone to erupting at any moment. “Like this?”

Your little touch instantly results in Soldier Boy's body tightening up. As soon as you put your small, soft hands on him and keenly pressed your palm against his shaft, his cock hardened as if it hadn't already been turned into a rock. He shivered at the way you gazed at him with such longing and your naive attempt to make everything right. Although his body was telling him otherwise, he wanted to give you enough time. The time taken from you had been far too long. 

“You want to give me a quick handjob?” Soldier Boy inquired plainly because he was curious about your response and how bashful you were still after all the times he had filled you with his cock.

You said, “I do,” expressing your desire to repay him for the help he provided yesterday. He had promised not to fuck you until you gave your body a shot of Temp-V, but you weren't sure whether he was earnest. Knowing that he wouldn't accidentally hurt you in that way would also make you feel better. You both needed it.

“Get on with it.”

In some ways, you felt more uneasy when Soldier Boy stated those things than when you had given him your first handjob a few days previously. When he was on top of you and had complete control over your body, it seemed simpler. Soldier Boy could see you were resistant. He let out a disappointed sigh. He wasn't going to force you. There is no fucking way.

“It's fine; I will handle it myself.” Before he could push your hand away, Soldier Boy sighed. 

You instantly said, “I want to!” and pressed your hand harder against his cock. In order to give him the same pleasure that he had given you, you wanted him to realize how desperate you were right now. “I just need you on top.” 

Straightaway, Soldier Boy's lips curved in enjoyment. Without even questioning your demand, he placed his rough hands on your belly and climbed on top of you, not losing a second. His cock began to pulsate with anticipation. “Do you like it when I'm in control? You love it when I take you as I like it, don't you? Showing you who's in charge here.”

As you saw him becoming so thrilled, you felt the same rejoice in your bones. No stranger seemed to be hovering on top of you. When he was acting in that manner, he felt familiar. The small details of your connection were simply too difficult for your frail mind to figure out. It was more enticing to start something fresh with him and put the past behind you, even if you really needed to know every detail about yourself and him.

“Yes,” you said excitedly as you saw him effortlessly remove his underwear and leggings, releasing his hardness without a second thought. As your legs began to shake a bit, Soldier Boy continued to stare at you. Obviously, it wasn't out of terror. 

When you looked down and saw his large shaft dripping from the top of its head as if it were about to explode, you shrieked. However, you didn't want to finish him quickly. Remembering when you gave him a fast handjob in that room, your pussy constricted around nothingness. 

You said, “I like it when you are on top of me,” as he placed his hands on each side of your head and waited for you to continue the process.

It was challenging for Soldier Boy to control himself, get you to turn around, make you stay on your hands and knees, and then thrust his cock inside in one swift motion. But he was going to have to wait a bit longer. For the time being, all he needed to do was ease up his cock a bit in order to release the tension he was suppressing. He hadn't fucked you in a very long time. His dick stayed erect following the time he found you, considering that he obviously hadn't fucked anybody throughout his desperate search for you. He was going to explode for real unless he fucked you hard as soon as possible. It was unlikely to disregard his increasing body temperature.

It was driving him mad to think of how tight you must be now after all that time without having sex. He wanted to paint your small walls with his cum. 

He grunted instantly as you placed your fingers around his firm shaft after biting your lips. Your pussy instinctively reacted to the sounds he made, as if it recognized that animalistic voice. 

You raised your head, satisfied with his reaction, and saw him staring at you as if he were about to fuck you at any moment. Under his narrowed stare, you gulped. He said, “Good girl,” becoming harder as you touched him. He was obviously delighted that you wanted to satisfy him at this moment. “Will you make me come?”

You muttered, “I want to,” as his admiration made your heart accelerate. A small, sly smile replaced the serious expression on his face, and you felt a rush of excitement that seemed like the greatest pleasure in the world.

“Then squeeze it harder.”

Following his instructions, you moistened your lips and tightened your grip on his cock, applying pressure as he desired. You studied his reaction carefully as you squeezed him since you had no idea how hard he wanted you to do it.

“Come on.” He grunted and glanced at your hand, asking, “Why are you always so soft?” Then he spoke in a lighthearted manner. “Try your hardest. Show your strength to me.”

You obliged his instructions, knowing there was no way to harm him, and gave him a powerful hold with all of your strength, causing him to press his lips together but not being able to stop his deep grunt. His body tensed up on you as he told you how good you were, and then he suddenly clamped one of his hands around your throat, causing you to gasp in alarm. At first, you were frightened that he would apply pressure, but instead, his fingers simply waited around your neck. It seemed as though he wanted to show off his strength and level of control. 

“Now, show me what you can do.” 

It was impossible to resist widening your legs a bit more to offer him more space while your heart beat frantically. Even while you liked seeing his facial reaction, this time you wanted to focus more on his cock. His pulsating cock, which was so incredibly long and thick that it made you bite your lip, caught your eyes. You were unaware of whether that truly fit inside of you. Your hands were unable to wrap it, and part of it lay on your stomach, giving the impression that it was huge. It was in fact hefty.

You could feel Soldier Boy staring at you, but you continued to focus on his cock while your hand made slow, steady strokes. Your hands were too little for his size; therefore, you were unable to properly wrap him. Feeling the thick precum on your hands, you place your thumb on the purple head, unable to resist the need to savor this moment for a while. 

He said, “Fuck, just like that, baby,” as his grip tightened around your neck, but he didn't cause you any harm. Only a little pressure was present. His thumb was gently rubbing your skin. “I knew that you missed my cock. Right now, it really wants to be inside of you. I bet you could take all of me.”

You looked into his dark green eyes and teased him, “How much?” He growled in return as you continued to caress him with hard, steady strokes after wetting your palms with his precum. 

As though it were just another moment with you, the way you got playful made him smile more, and his heart burst with love. It seemed as though you had known him for a long time, and it was simply another ordinary moment. His soul was being torn apart by his intense desire for everything to return to normal. He needed you to come back. 

“So fucking much,” he said, his tone betraying a hint of desperation. 

He began to move as well, finding the ideal rhythm as you continued to play with the purple head of his cock with your thumb. “Don't you enjoy it when I come on your hand? I won't be coming anytime soon though,” he grumbled, continuing to up his pace. He held himself back to prolong that blazing moment so he could appreciate it more, even though he was really aching there. 

You took that as a challenge and gave him a firm grip, which caused his hand to tighten around your neck and caused you to moan. Soldier Boy captured your lips and lowered his rough hand beneath your t-shirt just as you were starting to whimper a bit louder. He then gave one of your tits a really firm squeeze, making you bite his upper lip.

You melted into his tender kiss as soon as his tongue invaded your lips, then you placed your other hand behind his neck to gently play with his hair and feel his warm flesh there. He eventually withdrew to allow you a chance to regain your breath. Longing and need were bursting on your lips. 

He was still holding himself back no matter how hard or how much you stroked his cock. But you grumbled, “Come on,” because you were only a human and he was a supe with boundless energy in his body. “This cannot continue forever. I'm getting tired.”

“You wanted to make me come, didn't you?” He immediately replied that he was not pleased with how quickly you were exhausted. At least a little bit longer for you to caress him would be good. It was a long-needed moment for his entire body. As his face approached yours, he said, “Be a good girl and beat that meat good.”

He continued toying with your tit, stressing every single word. He wasn't even touching your pussy, which was frustrating because it needed a bit of attention.

In an attempt to find out what he liked and didn't like, your hand moved lower, and you palmed his enormous, hefty balls. As if struggling to restrain himself, Soldier Boy's fun smile instantly changed, pushing his hands to your throat a bit tighter while his other hand stopped rubbing your breast and placed it on the sheets beside your head. 

“Fuck that!” he growled, pressing your neck farther into the cushion. As your palm explored his balls, your legs began to shake from both fear of pain and the knowledge that you were giving him the same pleasure. He was a little hairy there, but you weren't despised. 

Soldier Boy's jaw tightened as you squeezed his balls with as much force as you could, and his hand around your neck eventually relaxed, but he still held you firmly by the chin. He wasn't kissing you, yet his mouth was extremely close. “You want me to come on you? Are you grasping my fucking balls to explode them up on your pussy? Do they feel good in your hands, sweetheart?”

“Yeah,” you moaned. You didn't seem to care that your cheeks were burning. With your other hand on his cock, you began pumping him quickly and forcefully from the head while maintaining a tight grip on his balls. Just a few seconds before, he was suppressing himself, but he began to groan uncontrollably, signaling that he was very close. 

When he buried his face in your neck and started sucking and giving you gentle bites, you questioned naively, “Where do you want to come?” knowing he was extremely near. “Do you want me to put my mouth there?” you asked, unable to contain your little smile. 

He pulled up your t-shirt and then proceeded to swear, telling you in which positions and how hard he would be fucking you very soon before he started to come on your stomach. The moment you felt his warm, thick cum on your abdomen, you let out a whimper. He started to empty himself with strong, solid strokes after pushing your hands away from his cock. Even though he was much larger than your hands, he looked outstanding pumping in his own hands.

With almost painful grumbles, he emptied himself on your stomach, and you put your hands on his stiff shoulders while he beat his cock fiercely to make sure there was nothing left in his balls. Even though he shut his eyes and stretched his head back, he continued to cover you with his hot cum while grunting heavily. You were also breathing heavily as you saw him gasp in a deep voice. You could see every vein on his arched neck.

You both glanced at your tummy when he was done; his ropes had completely loaded your body. You came eye to eye with him. Soldier Boy grinned upon seeing your startled gaze; he now appeared pleased. He pulled back his softening dick and put it back in his sweatpants. You relaxed beneath Soldier Boy as he leaned in to give you a gentle kiss on the lips. When you reached up through his neck and drew him close, “You still remember how to make me crazy, don't you?” he murmured, and he gave you a joyful grin. You felt better too when you finally felt his muscles relax under your touch. “You did amazing; you felt so, so good.” 

While you were still shivering with adrenaline, you whimpered in his lips and tried to ease up. After praising you repeatedly, which felt awesome, Soldier Boy kissed your forehead. “I miss you so much.”

Your hands froze behind his neck as he continued to speak as though you were still gone and that he was still looking for you. You inhaled deeply, discouraged that he wasn't prepared to move on from the past and initiate a new relationship with you. However, because you negotiated with him, he would not force Cate to toy with your mind. You had plenty of time to change his mind about you. 

You solely said, “I know,” trying to understand his feelings while allowing yours to fade away. 

When his lips finally left your skin, you were able to see each other in the eye. As you looked intently into his emerald eyes to see whether he was genuinely sincere, his statements that he wouldn't be able to love you again if you couldn't remember him were still lingering in your mind. However, it was rather difficult to read him. Right now, those intimate moments were probably the only way to make him start to like you. You began to feel more at ease every second, even though you had no memory of your connection. It was comfortable to be in his arms. However, a lot needed to change. 

You gently put your palm into his chest and inquired, “You feel good now?” From the inside out, he felt like his whole being was on fire. 

He quickly replied, “Fuck yes,” his hands caressing you all over. His strength should have frightened you, but you weren't. Not at this moment. “I really missed the warmth of your touches. For us both, it has been a very long time.”

You smiled at the longing in his voice for you. You could melt right here because of the genuine way he explained himself. You could sense his deep affection for you regardless of who you were now, even if he didn't express it vocally. Knowing that he was the strongest supe and that you were simply another human made you feel a little uneasy and insecure. Despite all the pressure he had been under since yesterday, Soldier Boy seemed pretty happy here, even if you didn't believe you could be enough to satisfy him at all. That was a relief.

He glanced at the mess he had made and pulled up a bit. His sperm was still all over your belly. You looked aside to find something for wiping his cum from your skin since you felt sticky and exposed all of a sudden. Without letting you move, Soldier Boy swiftly removed his t-shirt and began cleaning you himself. “Is it a supe thing?” You sigh, “Coming that much?” 

You gave him a brief hand job a few days before, and you tried to recall if he had come that many days earlier, but you hadn't even given his shaft an attentive look. In any case, he finished on your underwear. 

“No,” he said, tossing the t-shirt after he was certain you were clean. He was also taken aback by himself too. “I guess that's what happens when I don't fuck you for months.”

When a notion rapidly passed across your thoughts, you bit your lip. “What did you do after you were set free? I mean... with another person?” Though you weren't sure if you wanted to know the response at all, you made an effort to express yourself. He didn't convey the perception that he didn't care about having sex. 

When you asked him, he grimaced. “No, of course not.” He gave you a strange look as though you had posed a ridiculous question. “While looking for you, it was hard to concentrate on anything else. I'm not a weak fucking cheater.”

His explanation of how his other requirements didn't matter while he was searching everywhere for you warmed your heart. With all of his thoughts on you, how could he have told you that he wouldn't be able to love you? In addition to lying to you, he was also lying to himself, which was even worse.

You just answered, “I'm glad to hear that,” and smiled sweetly at him.

Reluctantly, Soldier Boy cleared his throat and stood up. “You can take a shower,” he said. “Or we can.”

You playfully said, “Are you telling me I smell bad now?” before getting out of bed after stretching. You let out a yawn as though you hadn't slept for at least ten straight hours. 

He glanced at your tummy and smiled, making your cheeks flush again. “Believe me, you smell even better now.”  

His phone began to ring before you could continue, causing him to roll his eyes in frustration. When he began to undress, he let it ring, but the caller remained unyielding. He growled furiously, “Fucking piece of shit,” and grabbed it from the table next to him. He looked on the screen as if he was looking at the name he planned to kill soon.

“You take a shower first. It seems they won't stop bothering us.”

As he pressed his thumb on the screen as if to shatter it, you nodded. You slammed the bathroom door in his face, who was still staring in your way. His overwhelming fragrance and the lingering dizziness required a lengthy bath to get rid of. 

After taking a shower, you wrapped the little towel over your body and grabbed your phone and saw that Kimiko had sent you a message. You were a little upset when you saw her name on the screen because you remembered the days before when she had mysteriously disappeared, leaving you alone with Soldier Boy and making you terrified in the midst of all those politicians and supes. She also knew you for a long time if what Soldier Boy told you was true, which was extremely most likely. Perhaps she left you to spend time with him alone, but it made no difference. She should have told you.

You couldn't help but feel a bit awful about thinking such negative things about Kimiko, though, because Butcher must have stopped her if she planned to. You still haven't listened to her. All of this must have had a valid reason from her side. Kimiko indicated that she and Butcher would be at the home soon in the message, which stated that you needed to get there in an hour. He must be assuming Soldier Boy would follow after you. 

If that was true, you hoped he was truly terrified. 

When you heard Soldier Boy exclaim, “She's going there with Butcher?” and felt his head over your shoulder, you jumped. “Such a scared, vile pussy, isn't he?”

“Oh God! You scared me.” Your hand reached your heart. It took you a while to realize that you were simply staring at Kimiko's message. 

Remembering that there was only a small towel wrapped around your body, you were concerned it was about to fall, so you grabbed onto it out of shyness. There wasn't much time to go to the location where you were expected, and Soldier Boy's powerful hands were around your abdomen just as you were about to put on your clothes. You couldn't tell if he wanted you to stay still or hug you from behind. As if it had recognized the hold somewhere, your heart responded instantly to his touch. You sighed at the strange, bittersweet sensation. 

Murmuring, “I have to get dressed,” you placed your hands on his. You didn't push him away. Your heart ached in a really lovely manner that you couldn't explain because of the pressure on your stomach, his hands, and his gentle touch. Feeling so comfortable in the presence of someone whom you didn't remember was insane. 

You weren't sure whether you would trust Butcher if he told you that you had nothing to do with Soldier Boy. Strangers or lovers, manipulated or not, it made no difference. The fact that he touched you and caused your blood to boil was sufficient evidence for you. Hearts were able to remember things. 

“Come on, I'll get you there. Don't you think we still have some free time?” he whispered. You could tell he had already put on his suit without even looking at him. When he realized he wouldn't be taking that shower, it appeared he had things to do in Vought Tower.

You couldn't help but roll your eyes as you felt his bulge behind you, and his lustful tone made you smile for a moment. You pondered your reactions to him in the past when he was acting in such a way.

“I don't think so,” you said while your hands tried to push away his gloved hands helpless. Of course, he didn't move a bit. The way you wanted to get rid of his hold made him press himself to you harder. You were about to giggle.

He was unsatisfied with your answer. “Don't you want me to repay your sweet service?”

Your thinking and desire came into conflict as soon as Soldier Boy's hands began to linger about your legs and gradually sneaked higher within the towel; you were torn between pushing him away or letting him touch you the way he chose. However, even though you had just had a shower, your pussy was already drenched and prepared to risk it all. 

Once his fingers lingered around your inner thigh and gave it a squeeze, causing you to bite your lip, you said faintly, “I think...” You were left at Soldier Boy's mercy since the words had already faded away. 

“Don’t think,” he said, fearing your response. Soldier Boy's cock was already throbbing, as though it were about to rip off his suit and boxers and find a way inside your dripping pussy.

He could already smell how wet you are. In his opinion, he should have touched you before you got out of bed, making sure you were ruined around his fingers. His cock had been awakened by seeing you in a tiny towel. It had been a long time since he had seen you like that; in his room, with nothing but a towel around your body. He felt strange and uneasy as he thought about those times, but he regretfully pushed those painfully happy memories aside. He had you in his arms again. He would fix you quickly. He just had to wait a little longer.

His fingers moved higher into your thighs, reaching places that caused you to inhale deeply, causing your knees to shake and your head to arch back into his shoulder. You instantly arched your back and raised on your tiptoes as his middle finger delicately brushed your clit, as if he wanted you to fall apart. You weren't sure if you desired to let go of his breathtaking pressure on your pussy or if you wanted him to use his hands more. It was just too much.

His cock pressing on your ass was scaring you, even though your body was tense with anticipation. After you injected some Temp-V into your body, you agreed to have sex, but you weren't sure whether Soldier Boy cared about Temp-V at all now, because he was all set to push you onto the mattress. Soldier Boy's fingers paused on your clit as he sensed your uncertainty and waited for your response. 

“I thought you wanted to take me while I was on Temp-V,” you said. You were aware that, regardless of anything else, he was considering fucking you right here. It was clear from the way his other hand ceased on the pants of his suit. 

“Call it an amendment.” His intentions were evident when he said quickly and coarsely in your ear, “I’ll be very careful.” He turned your body to face the bed as soon as you heard him unzipping, and your cheeks became red. You tightened your grip on your towel and withdrew your hand from his.

At the moment, he was deadly serious.

“It’s better if we don’t do it right now.”

“Why the fuck not? I'll be very careful and...gentle,” he added, feeling upset by your hasty rejection. Before you could say anything, you found your head on the mattress, and he was ready to take you from behind. He showed his desire to change to your notion by grinding his hardness against your ass. The towel was too short, and your body shook with excitement and coldness right away. His suit was getting wet from your exposed skin, and your flesh was still a little damp.

“I’ll feel better if we do it after I get Temp-V. Please.” You pushed his hand away from your clit.

Between grumpy growls, Soldier Boy regretfully zipped his pants back. “Fine!” His tone seemed frustrated and disappointed, and you rolled your eyes. You thought he was amusing at times. However, you weren't sure if he would find that thought funny.

You smiled to yourself, your heart thumping with happiness, feeling safe in the fact that he didn't insist on fucking you while you were adjusting your towel. You were relieved that your relationship wasn't abusive or toxic. If not, you would be horrified and devastated. 

You gripped your towel tightly and turned to face him after he drew himself away and lifted your body off the bed. His eyes were narrowed as he examined your damp hair. His enormous bulge, which refused to go away, made it easy to guess what he was thinking.

Soldier Boy was unable to stop cursing at Butcher for being a coward after you both hastily changed, left his house, and got into his car. You had often warned him when he said Butcher was just a pussy who would meet you at that house with a superwoman to protect himself with the most sexist remarks, but he was much more enraged when he believed you were only protecting him.

He angrily remarked, “I want to kill that bitch so badly,” referring to Butcher. “Bringing a supe woman to meet an unarmed woman in order to feel safe and protected? He had a pussy between his legs, I already knew. Without a doubt, Princess Hughie has bottomed him raw, laid him good. I'm telling you.”

“God!” you exclaimed, ignoring the unpleasant pictures that appeared in your mind while Soldier Boy continued to speak. “He just wants to make sure that you won't be around. It's actually better that he's taking Kimiko with him. I want to ask her something.”

“What is it?” Soldier Boy looked suspiciously at you. He didn't like the fact that you wanted to ask her questions but not him. He believed that you had already begun to trust him again. “You can ask me too.” 

“She was with me when we came across in that room a few days ago. However, she abruptly left me there without saying a word when you unexpectedly showed up. I need to know why. We must have known one another for a while, you know.”

He chuckled, “She must be scared, of course,” but he wasn't amused. “After I was set free once more, they all knew they were dead. Kimiko is also aware of it.”

Your face sank in disappointment at his unwavering determination to hurt Butcher and the rest of the team. That wasn't the way you wanted to choose. You needed to make him listen to you even though you knew he wouldn't simply let his anger and hatred go and would give you his whole attention.

Even though you tried talking about other topics while he was driving, Butcher was the center of all of his frustration and contempt, so you eventually stopped talking and let him curse until he calmed down a bit. You wondered whether your rejection of his prior attempt to fuck you from behind against his bed was the reason he was so stiff and upset. It didn't appear like he was a man who handled rejection well. 

You glanced at his car's seats and abruptly questioned, “Are you not paid well?”

Soldier Boy's stance shifted, and he replied proudly and gruffly, “Of course I am. Why do you say that?”

You grinned as an overwhelming rush of joy washed over you upon seeing how proud he was of his antique car. “Don't you think your car is a bit out of date? You should try one of those AMTs.”

Clearly dissatisfied that you didn't like his car as much as he did, he rolled his eyes at you. “Those cars are made for pussies. The ones who use them are not real men, I assure you. It's also not outdated. We refer to it as ‘classic’. Do you have an idea how much did it cost?”

It was impossible not to smirk as he went on to justify his scrap. “How much?”

You burst out laughing when he told you the cost. His confidence made you laugh so hard that you began to tear up, and the way he told you to shut up made you crack. “I think you got the shaft.”

“Cars and women... I’ll spank your ass for that.” You continued to chuckle even though he spoke in a misogynistic manner while he gave you strange stares.

After some time, you grasped his arm and said, “Alright, pull over here!” before he got closer to the house. Now, your heart was pounding because you were afraid Soldier Boy would follow you and carry out his threat to tear apart Butcher and Kimiko's bodies to pieces. 

To your amazement, he stopped the car without approaching. Now that he was unsure of Butcher's true intentions, Soldier Boy's heart was full of distrust. No matter what he said, he didn't want you to believe it. He believed that you had already begun getting better, but you remembered Butcher, not him. 

After a while, the realization hit him hard in the gut, leaving him feeling uneasy and a little insecure. Just as his palm formed a fist around the steering wheel, he grimaced and pushed that pathetic emotion away. 

He loved that car. Such a baby. 

You were ready to walk away when you noticed Soldier Boy's bizarre expression, which caused you to pause. He didn't insist on accompanying you, but instead he sat silently, lost in contemplation. Your heart sank as you saw the expression on his face that suggested he didn't trust you. 

You whispered, “Hey,” and placed your hands on his hands that were gripping the steering wheel. The car was still unharmed, which was surprising. “I'll make sure it ends quickly.”

“You better.” 

He gave you a look when you rolled your eyes at him. “You're so tense, you know?”

“Can't imagine why.”

You placed your hands on his face and gave him a gentle kiss before he could continue, letting him know how much you needed him to behave and make things easy for you at that moment. You needed him to stop being angry for the time being so you could get your answers without him making a scene. Just when you felt his hand on your face, you withdrew before he could return your kisses. 

“When you're done, get your ass back to the Vought Tower. Tell them that if they try to take you back, I fucking swear—”

“All right! I'll tell them,” you responded hastily, interrupting him before he could finish, and hurriedly exited the car, slamming the door firmly in his face. You hoped that by mistreating his car in that way, he would be sufficiently distracted to channel his anger toward something else. 

It felt weird and uncomfortable once you were back inside the house. You never imagined that seeing Butcher and Kimiko would make you feel so anxious, as though you were going to encounter ruthless superhumans. But they were your pals. You hoped they still saw you in that way despite how much you were disappointed in them. There was an explanation for everything. 

Kimiko swiftly came up to you and gave you a firm hug, which is her way of saying ‘sorry’ just as you were ready to call their names. You gave her a short hug in return, forgetting that she had left you days earlier. “Hey,” you whispered, stepping back. Your gaze scanned for Butcher, who also showed up there with a bottle of whiskey. 

He smirked at you from a distance, acting like a complete jerk, which infuriated you. You questioned whether he understood the suffering you were enduring as a result of his actions. You were nauseated by his insensitive facial expression. 

 “You lying snake.”

After drinking his whiskey, setting the glass down, and approaching you, the sneer on his face suddenly vanished. “That would be me, I guess. Nice to see you again, babe.” he remarked. “How have you been doing with Soldier Boy?” he asked while giving you a dubious look.

You said, “You've got to be kidding me,” and shook your head in shock. “Butcher, how could you not tell me that I'm suffering from memory loss that day? When Soldier Boy revealed that him and I had been together, you can imagine how blown away I was. Him and I!” 

Butcher grinned when he realized that you were still uninformed of Soldier Boy's true name and was relieved that he was unable to bring back your memories. He was quite certain that he wanted to heal your brain, even though Soldier Boy didn't give a damn about you at all. After all, when he freed Soldier Boy, you were the first woman he had seen in decades. It wouldn't be unusual if a man with PTSD developed a mild connection with you. Soldier Boy was an obsessed man.

“Is that what he had told you?” Butcher's eyebrow was lifted. “You and him, having a serious relationship?” Ben hated emotional stuff; therefore, Butcher was kind of shocked to hear Soldier Boy say that in fact.

“How could you not tell me this?”

Kimiko stood between you and Butcher, looking around anxiously as though she had a lot to say too, but she was afraid of your reaction.

“You have no memory of him at all. How could you have believed all he said? Are you a lunatic?” Butcher felt that all of his terrible deeds were in vain because you already believed everything that Soldier Boy said, even though you didn't remember him. He was now furious at your naïve attitude. It was going to be a problem.

“I'm telling you, Butcher, don't ever fucking lie to me again.” You answered angrily, “You know pretty well that if I had been a stranger to him, he would have killed me in that room days ago without even blinking.” You got made sensing Butcher was about to spit new lies in your face rather than expressing regret and wanting an apology. It made your blood boil to see him like that, a complete liar. You wished you had taken that Temp-V before you left the home so you could beat his liar ass till you relaxed and at least got him to say ‘sorry’.

“How did he take it?” As if to divert your attention and ease your ire, Butcher asked in an icy tone. He went under your skin the moment he talked, even if you hadn't intended to become angry. “Your memory loss.” 

You muttered, “He didn't take it well, obviously,” recalling how many times you had already argued. You're still troubled by the time he said he wouldn't love you if you forgot about him. However, you refused to let him, Kimiko, and Butcher know these sorts of things.

“He dedicated himself to murdering you.” You said, “All of you,” and you caught a glimpse of Kimiko, who was listening to you and Butcher raise your voices nervously. “It's quite tiring arguing with him all the time about this.”

“Well, that isn't all that unexpected. But, doll, are you sure you want to stick with a man like that?” When Butcher posed that question, your anger was replaced by skepticism.

“What are your plans now? Help them track us down while cleaning up his and Homelander's outfits like it's a 24-hour job?”

You said in a quiet, disappointed voice, “How could you even say that?” He narrowed his gaze at you as you drew nearer. As much as you liked your friendship with Butcher, you hoped he still knew you shared the same desire to destroy Homelander and all everything about Vought.

“Based on your defense of a man—a profoundly racist, misogynistic, PTSD-afflicted man—you don't even remember says enough. You have to see how it looks from our perspective. You, Vought, and Soldier Boy.”

You defended yourself as you stood in front of him, now begging with your eyes, “I'm not one of them!” You recalled what Soldier Boy had said about how he had changed, but you didn't tell Butcher about that sweet moment. “I don't want him to harm you or the rest of the team. I would never want that.”

Butcher was going to say something, but he changed his mind. You were constantly being observed by his suspicious gaze. “Tell me you don't intend to stay with him. This cannot be what you're thinking. I can still help you.”

You were stiffened by the way Butcher stared at you as if you were some sort of insane person. Every word he spoke and every look he gave you questioned both Soldier Boy and yourself. It is clear that he was unaware of Soldier Boy's awesome treatment of you. You didn't want him to know that you were lost, confused, and vulnerable—your mind was an easy target. You needed to pretend that he wasn't bothering you. “From now on, I am staying with him. I have to find answers about myself and him. It's not about the team or about you, Vought. It's about me.”

Butcher let out a frustrated sigh but made no attempt to persuade you to go with him. That would put the team in far greater danger. There was no need to provoke Soldier Boy by taking you with him.  All he could do was pray that neither you nor Ben would ever know what he had done to your body that day. Butcher peered at Kimiko. He had a feeling she was thinking the same thing.

“Did he try bringing your memories back?”

“Yeah,” you muttered, folding your arms over your chest as if to indicate that you didn't want to discuss that at the moment. “We...made a deal.”

“What deal?” Now Butcher's heart was racing. He refused to admit that he was a little anxious about your fragile condition, but the anxiety was there. He would do it again even though he should have thought about the consequences months before when he removed the small living cell from your womb while you were unconscious.

Soldier Boy was getting impatient, so you didn't want to tell him anything about how you truly didn't want to bring back anything. “Nothing important, but he will not force me to remember things for three months at least.”

“Okay.” He questioned whether he could track down and kill every superhero with mind and memory abilities. He could never be sure if you knew you were pregnant that day.

You gasped when Butcher pulled out the gun you had left here the day before. Knowing what was within made your body quiver. Frenchie created the virus with the intention of killing superheroes. If you hadn't come upon Soldier Boy that day, you thought The Deep or Black Noir would be dead by now already. You never had the opportunity to put it to use.

Butcher whispered, “I think you forgot this,” as he took your hands in his and handed you the firearm.

You said, “I don't think I want it back.” You felt nauseous at the idea of using it on Soldier Boy. You tried to back off, knowing Butcher was also intent on killing him with Homelander.

“Hey, I am not going to tell you to shoot his hairy asshole when you get back to him, okay? Still, you will one day have to use that on Ninja Cunt or The Deep. See what I mean?” While speaking softly, Butcher attempted to make you aware of the complexity of the problem. His skull no longer hurt because he had become what he detested most—a fully Supe.

“Are you insane? Homelander would certainly kill me. I can't possibly use that. I'm dead if it succeeds, but if not...” You blurted out, “I don't even want to think what Noir and The Deep could do to me,” as disturbing pictures flashed through your head. The risk was huge, and you weren't sure how Soldier Boy would react if he witnessed you shooting the supes with the virus Butcher had given you. It wasn't that you didn't want them dead, but there was a big risk.

The thought of how he would stare at you made your legs tremble.

“I think you have your beloved Soldier Boy?” Butcher grinned when he saw what you were truly terrified of.  “Not even Homelander can touch you now.  If he cares about you that much as you think, he wouldn't hurt you even if you kill all the supes in the tower with that virus.” Butcher became delighted upon noticing your confusion and anxiety. Whatever transpired between you and Soldier Boy didn't seem to be good, and Butcher could use that to his advantage.

As you gazed at the small gun Butcher was holding, you bit your lip uneasily before turning to face him. “He wouldn't like it if he saw I'm still doing such things for you, Butcher.”

“Come on. We are currently in a time of crisis. If you really think he cares about you, he wouldn't be mad if some other Supe dies, right? He's not even fond of Noir.”

Butcher groaned when he saw that you were still unsure and uncertain and refused to accept the firearm. “Ben wouldn't be upset with you for that kind of stuff. I know I fucking lied, that I should have told you about him after your memory loss, and that I destroyed our trust. But I wouldn't harm you, Y/N. My intentions were good.”

When Butcher revealed Soldier Boy's real name, you whispered, your heart pounding wildly. “I know.”

Ben.

Your heart pounded with anticipation and delight as you imagined his reaction when you addressed him by name. That could help him realize that you were still the same person and that past events didn't affect who you were. When you heard his name, it sounded like a magical word given how it would affect him.

“Now that Ben is working together with Homelander, it's a serious problem. You must understand that we have to end this. Placing aside your personal problems and convincing Ben to kill him—or at the very least, help you in killing Noir and the Deep—would be incredibly beneficial. I can't do this by myself.” Butcher shot a look at Kimiko, who was just listening, and he added, “It's just not about me. Kimiko, Frenchie, Annie, MM, and Hughie would all die as a result of Ben and Homelander's teamwork. You don't seem to be wanting his.” As you stared at him in sorrow, Butcher took your hands and made you grasp it.

“Of course not!” you blurted out. Even if you couldn't recall many of them, the thought of one of them dying made you terrified. Your entire body shuddered with horror, realizing precisely how important they must have all been to you months ago. “I just don't know what to do.”

When Butcher saw that you had not pushed his hands away and that you now had the gun, he exhaled in relief. “Just talk with Ben if you genuinely believe he loves and cares about you. Make sure he hears you and realizes that Homelander and the others have to die. We would greatly appreciate it if you could use that virus and then provide us with feedback, darling.”

“I don't want to hurt him!” you hurriedly exclaimed, fearing Butcher might ask you to test the virus on Ben. Even if he was the most powerful supe, you would never risk his life. 

Butcher groaned and said, “Fuck me,” irritated that you continued to be concerned about him despite the fact that you couldn't recall a single detail about him. “I'm not saying you have to give him a virus shot from the ass while you peg him. As long as it is one of the Seven members, it makes no difference who you shot.”

“You would hurt him too if it works,” you said suspiciously, since you were afraid about helping him in committing such an act.

“I would like it, to be honest.  But since you two are determined not to break up anytime soon, I guess I have to pass him in this as long as you make sure he doesn't chase my ass, of course,” and he squeezed your arm to help you relax a little. “So what do you say?”

After giving it some thought, you grudgingly muttered, “Okay.” In any case, you wouldn't want Ben to harm him or the squad. Homelander was a serious issue that needed to be resolved right away. For the sake of everyone, you must make every effort to persuade Ben. “Butcher, you will never betray me or him again, and I will never do anything that could hurt him. Give me your word. No.” With harshness, you said, “Swear on your wife.”

Butcher's stance altered, and he was now staring at you deeply as though he was trying not to get emotional over the painful memories of his wife. Your words had torn into his soul. “I swear.”

You took a sigh of relief and smiled apologetically at him for reminding him of his wife. “Deal then,” you said. He would always be reminded of all the things he was never able to have again. Although it made you feel awful, he was wrong to betray the faith of those who trusted him.

“Good,” he said, clearing his throat while checking his watch and glancing at Kimiko. “All right, we have to leave immediately then. We don't want Soldier Boy to come along and assume I have his woman and screw us.”

When Butcher talked about him and how he referred to you as Ben's woman, you laughed at his uneasiness. “Well, let's hope he didn't place any bugs on me or wait outside already.”

“I'd rather not to come across his lovely, amiable face for some time, hun.” When Kimiko realized it was time to go and say goodbye once more, she abruptly leaned in and gave you a back rub. You couldn't help but feel depressed. You followed him and Kimiko to the door so you wouldn't feel stuck in the house you had spent months in or feel like you were just turned away by your pack in the wildlife.

“You have no idea.”

“Call me after Soldier Boy behaves like a less jerk. And be cautious while doing so.”

-

A/N: I hope this chapter is satisfying. Let me know what you think please 😓

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[thesilmarillionblog]

𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐘𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐘

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓: 𝟏

Click here for Series Masterlist.

Summary: You can't stop thinking about Sam Winchester's older brother, Dean Winchester, even if you two are happy together. You know, he feels the same way. But can desire and passion surpass regret and guilt? You and Dean have to face your own demons.

Pairing: Dean Winchester / Sam Winchester x Reader

Warnings: +18! HEAVY SMUTTT!!! , blowjob, cheating, dirty talk, unfaithful reader and dean, mixed feelings, naive sam, slut shaming, face fucking, oral sex, kinky, cock worship, hair pulling, spanking, insulting

Word Count: 4434

A/N: English is not my first language.

As you continued to eat some strawberries and watched TV as if under a hypnotic trance, you saw that Sam had just sent you a message and grabbed your phone off the table in front of you. He was possibly going late tonight, he told you. With a heavy sigh, you thought about his recent behavior. You thought he was cute enough to date, even though he was an awkward, charming boy with attachment problems, strange, and obsessed with ghost stories. After all, men who had absurd and harmless obsessions were superior to those who had pervy ones. Sam Winchester was a good man.

His brother Dean Winchester, however, was a different story. He appeared somewhat more reasonable, but he was no different from his brother in that he enjoyed listening to and looking up strange stuff. It was kind of sexy and a memorable moment when he immediately flirted with you when he first saw you, without considering how his brother would react. He had given you the impression that he could fuck you in front of him if you signaled to him. At first, you assumed he was just a flirtatious guy, but the way he sent you enticing and promising glances told you differently. Like he was gauging your response.

You had no idea if he was doing this to gauge your level of devotion to his brother or for another reason. It didn't really matter, though. You didn't struggle with attachment issues and are prepared to see how far you can go. You only had one chance at life, and Dean Winchester was attractive. Occasionally, loyalty was overrated. It wasn't that Sam and you would get married. You were in your early 20s, so you were still quite young.

When Sam was fucking you like a crazy guy who hadn't fucked in months, you were picturing his brother a few weeks before. while Sam was pushing his dick inside of you like a dog in heat. Whilst his hands were on your hips, fucking you from behind and bruising your ass violently, you had to bite your lips until they bled in order to keep from screaming his older brother's name.You loved that position. You were free to imagine anything you wanted and to fully immerse yourself in the experience without worry about interpretations.

You imagined his brother would fuck you. It felt terrible at first, like you were the worst person ever. Your clit was interacting with your brain at the moment, and your mind continued to play tricks on you despite your best attempts to concentrate on Sam and his long cock. Sinful images bombarded your mind and spirit, and you were helpless to stop them. You called Sam ‘Winchester’ to tease him as he dominated your body and put you in every position. You knew you were unable to scream his brother's name, so you thought at least you could scream with that name on your lips. Sam liked to be on top and obviously wasn't a person who stayed still, letting his woman ride his dick. You loved riding, seeing him torn apart beneath your hips, though. 

For the first time, you were really loud, remembering how he fucked you a week ago while Dean was sleeping in the next room. God knows if you did it on purpose. Who cares? “Ah, baby,” you remembered screaming, "Fuck me harder. I need you to come inside me so badly; you're doing so good..." And so on. You were so lost in the moment and screaming that you nearly burst into tears from pleasure. Since Dean could hear you and might be beating his cock to the noises you were making beneath Sam, you were shrieking. 

Sam also enjoyed your volume. He made sure to push you until you practically begged him to slow down since he knew you enjoyed getting fucked rough and raw. Your legs were on his shoulders after you pleaded with him to slow down a bit due to his brutal and quick thrusts, and he responded by fucking you even more forcefully. You nibbled the strawberry while recalling how vile you were that day and the joy it bestowed upon you.

Sam was better to all of the people you have dated and fucked thus far. He looked like an animal more than anything else, which you liked and desired. After he gave you two or three orgasms in a row, you would occasionally tell him how much you liked him because he could give you what you needed effortlessly.

But lately, the idea of fucking his brother has been on your mind constantly. For the past few weeks, those ideas have been eating you alive. You couldn't stop dreaming you were his girlfriend when he went to his room with her a week ago. It was your desire to be the one fucked by him. When you heard her getting a bit louder and their bed hitting your walls as if to demonstrate his dominance, you had to press your thighs together. Sam was enough and perfect, but your want for his brother was becoming unbearable.

It might have been another kink. Your legs were shaking with desire at the naughty idea of getting fucked by your boyfriend right after his brother had penetrated you. You wanted to get fucked by each of them in the same day. At least you wanted to ride each of them, even if you knew none of them were into threesomes, which was disappointing. As you imagined their mixed cum dripping from your pussy, you squeezed your legs together. 

Although it was wicked and twisted, you couldn't stop thinking about it. 

You let go of your strawberries and sighed as you stood up as the door was knocked. But when you saw Dean Winchester standing in front of you, your heart began to accelerate. He stood uncomfortably with his hands in his pockets. He seemed to be waiting for Sam to show up as he glanced behind you. His eyes held promise and danger. What you both desired was the same. 

By jokingly saying, “Hey, Dean, why not come in?” you encouraged him to get in. You were already getting chills from the way he appeared a little nervous. Even though Dean knew he should have left and called you instead, he was unable to turn down your kind invitation. His gut twisted because his heart was already full with expectation. 

“Is Sam not here?” he inquired as he made his way to the saloon. In response to his strange query, you arched an eyebrow. 

“He is your brother. Don't you know where he is?” 

As he examined your home with keen eyes, he whispered, “Let's say he's acting a little mysterious nowadays, doll,” and then he sat down on the couch and faked a smile. “I assumed he would talk about it with you. Perhaps, I mean.”

Taking your plate full of strawberries and sitting on the chair just in front of him, you started eating them without giving him any. You saw him looking at your legs and exposed flesh, your small shorties. Your pussy was barely covered. Your underwear was on display. He shifted on the couch and cleared his throat while you opened your legs slightly and gave him something to look at. Dean tried to turn away, but he was unable to do so. With only one motion, he could effortlessly see what's underneath your shorts and panties.

As you continued to eat slowly, you spread your legs a little wider and placed your feet on the table between you. You answered calmly and confidently, “You're not here to talk about Sam,” as you saw him struggle to cover himself by gripping his jacket tightly in an attempt at hiding his bulge. Despite having a cute, attractive face, he was really pathetic. “I think, you are here for me.”

His mouth opened to protest, but he was unable to do so. Yet Dean wanted to lie. You couldn't blame him. After all, you were his brother's girlfriend, and the three of you had hung out a lot in the last seven months. Dean knew he was unable to take action and couldn't go too far with you, so he let his dick fight his inner battle. He was a man who kind of flirted with any female living thing around him. But you didn't care about it at all. By allowing your fantasies to take over you, you had already gone too far. No matter how hard you tried, you were unable to feel remorse. You doubted whether Sam cared about your wild screams that night.

When Dean's eyes met yours, you saw that he was acting a little cowardly at the moment by not wanting to initiate contact. Maybe he was looking for someone to blame later. He frequently criticized himself brutally. With the exception of himself, Dean showed mercy to many. It's funny because whenever he decided to fuck a woman, he always took the first step. It shouldn't have mattered if that woman was you now.

You got up, knelt down in front of him carefully, licked your lips, and moved his hands away from his jacket. While doing so, you continued to look at him. His bulge was visible, and the pressure he applied on his jacket caused his hands' knuckles to turn white.

“What the hell are you doing?” He gulped down, unable to find the proper words to say. You were kneeling in front of him like this, your face so close to his hardness, and he was too weak to push you away. He let out a startled gasp because the gap was so small. Dean felt it was time to get up and go. He was quite aware that his presence was unnecessary from the very beginning. 

“Stop fooling oneself.” You stated the same thing: “You're not here for Sam. You came here because you wanted me to convince you.” 

“Convince for what?” he said in a low voice, his eyes already darkened. His cock was probably pulsating at the moment, pleading for the release from his tight boxers. You also had a dry mouth; you had to use his semen to moisten it. 

With a spectral smile, you caressed the bulge between his legs and asked, “How long have you been torturing yourself?” Your mouth was watering. You pondered who had the better taste. Sam or him? Sam took a while to come inside your mouth, but his sperm wasn't particularly thick. However, you really enjoyed how salty he was. 

When your palm touched him, you both gasped. Dean's jaw contracted as if he were in agony, and he shut his eyes. It was obvious that he considered fleeing. However, it was difficult to act when you were kneeling in front of him like that, as if you were prepared to offer him all he might have fantasized of and desired.

He simply waited as your hands began to unbuckle his belt without saying anything. You couldn't take your eyes off those lovely green eyes. You thought his lips would look adorable on your pussy because they were so soft and pink. You really wanted to sit on his face, rub your pussy on his lovely pink lips, and cum in his mouth. At your mercy, he would look flawless beneath you while you used his face for your own pleasure.

His cock popped free and rested on his belly as soon as you lowered his boxers and jeans. To look at how his cock seemed on his bare stomach, you lifted up his shirt. Your mouth immediately watered at the sight of it, causing you to lick your lips in yearning. When you realized you were kneeling in front of your boyfriend's brother and staring at his cock, your heart began to race wildly in your chest. Its large, hefty head turned purple from pain and begged for your attention. It was impossible to avoid comparing his and Sam's sizes. Your heart raced with anticipation as you saw how Dean's dick was thicker and heavier than Sam's, who had the definitely longer one. Dean would wonderfully stretch you and fill you up.

He said, “We shouldn't do that,” in a rough voice. He sounded like he was talking to himself, even though he was speaking to you. You were aware of Dean's intense wish to put an end to this, but he was too weak to disregard his hardness and his deepest desires. He was a captive to his own body and mind, just like you. His balls, which resembled two pieces of rock and appeared to erupt like a volcano, were resting hard between his legs.

You muttered, “Shh,” and moved closer to his balls while maintaining eye contact. You then slowly extended your tongue and moistened his cock by licking it from the balls to the head. The contact made your body tremble, alerting you know you've gone too far. Every vein of him was palpable on your tongue's surface. Like his brother, Dean had a strong scent and was salty. 

“Oh, fuck,” he moaned, sounding almost furious. His hand was now behind your hair. Dean could feel better if he could only let go of his fears and concerns. But he was scared about feeling better. 

“Do you want me to suck you off? Put you in my mouth and make you cum? Do you want this, Dean?” With your lips waiting on the tip of his cock and tasting the precum, you whispered. With a long, deep moan, he bit his lip instantly. “Why don't you just let go? Stop thinking. It's just us.”

“Fuck, yes.” In preparation to fuck your mouth, which was leaking already, Dean widened his legs and tightened his grip on your hair. He considered you to be the forbidden apple, the fruit he should have rejected from the start. He couldn't take his eyes off of you since you were the sin itself. You almost pitied him.

As if to punish you for making him feel this way, Dean pulled your hair very roughly. Then, with a very rough motion that made you gasp, he put his cock inside your mouth while holding himself between his hands. His erratic motion caused your pussy to clench around nothingness.

“You're a good teasing bitch, aren't you? Fucking greedy slut,” he groaned and shoved your head against his cock. At last, he let his worries go. Dean had a firm grip on your head. He held you still for a minute, causing you to choke on his cock while pressing your head into it until you had taken him completely. You gasped for oxygen and drew back when he finally released your head. You couldn't believe how rough he was.

You needed that.

You curled your tongue around Dean's thick head and eagerly gripped his erect cock as you continued to stare at him through watery eyes. You then start to bob the head into your mouth while your hand pumps the rest of his cock. You wanted to savor his face, his green eyes...

With a loud roar, Dean pushed you to his cock more forcefully, making you swallow him whole. Even though your throat was already experienced and flexible enough to withstand all he did, the amount of pressure he applied was already hurting it. You let Dean forcefully tug your hair while you moan loudly on his dick. Desperation arched his back. 

“Fucking bitch,” he nearly yelled when you pulled back and spat on his cock. “You love acting like a porn star, don't you? Are you trying to make me cum on your face?” 

You felt shivers down your spine at the way he insulted you and gazed at you with both disgust and passion. “I don't know,” you answered, sucking your own spit mingled with his cock's precum. “Perhaps I just enjoy sucking off of my partners' older brothers, like you.” Speaking in such a manner should have made you feel ashamed. You didn't.

With hatred and awe, he muttered a curse. You were aware that Dean didn't want to hurt his brother or cause him any pain, but you had already gone too far, and there was nothing you could do about it. You both spent too much time fantasizing about his moment. Your pussy was becoming even wetter just thinking about giving your boyfriend's brother a sloppy head, even if it was immoral. You became wetter and also craving more once you realized that Sam could enter at any time, and you ran the risk of being caught by him like this while you were between his brother's knees, sucking his thick cock like it was the finest lollipop.

“You wanted to fuck me that night, didn't you?” After swirling your tongue around his head and swallowing his precum, you moaned. As you popped Dean's cock, you continued to stare at him, and the sloppy sound caused you both to shiver. “You wanted to be him at that moment.”

“Is that the reason you screamed that loud when your pussy was railed raw that night? I did jerk off. Is that what you wanted to hear?” As he spoke complete insults, Dean slapped your face with his huge cock and said, “I was beating my cock while he was slamming into your tiny cunt.” After his confession, he saw that you were smiling, so he got up and shoved his cock down to your throat, which made you whimper without allowing you to speak.

He made you gag around him by using his hard hands to steady your head and then forcing himself into your mouth. His head was close enough to your throat to feel. You were choking on his throbbing cock. When he pressed his whole length to the back of your neck, his quick, harsh thrusts caused your eyes to water. Tears were streaming down your face as you gazed at him with your hands on his knees. He was crazily fucking your mouth, but you needed some air. The sounds of your whimpers and his balls striking your chin filled the entire house. It was just sinful and obscene.

You whimpered while you tried to push him a little, but he wouldn't let go and continued to fuck your throat regardless of whether you needed to breathe or not. 

He had to fill your mouth, and you had to taste him.

But you gasped in disapproval as he pulled his cock back just as you thought he was going to fill your mouth. “Come on,” you whispered, “Show me how good you taste. Don't want it?”

Dean gave you a faint smile that didn't reach his lips. "It wants to taste your pussy first." While placing his hand in his pocket, he released his grip on your hair. Your pulse pounded as you watched him open the condom and slide it around his cock. Just by seeing him tie a condom around his hardness, you could come at any moment. Before he pushed his cock into your pussy, Sam would do the same thing, which you always enjoyed watching. It was a delicious view. 

“Lay down on the carpet, turn around,” Dean urged as he checked that the condom was properly positioned. “On your hands and knees.” 

Your body has been craving that order for weeks, even months. You obeyed his command without a second's hesitation, lowering your underwear with your shorts while you lay on the ground. He could see your ass now. You felt vulnerable all of a sudden. After that, you looked at him. You were still wearing the same shorts. Sam had lowered it with your panties and fucked you hours earlier before he left your home, and you needed Dean to fuck you while you were wearing the same shorties. 

Your body could burst in excitement as soon as you noticed Dean approaching. You were already soaked and ready to take him in, so you didn't need to prep. Once Dean was certain the condom fit properly, he positioned himself behind you and took himself in hand. The plastic surface was slick from his saliva in his hand. You gasped in shock as he pushed his cock inside your pussy with a single, strong stroke without even making sure if you were wet enough. You were unaware of his rapid and harsh side. He always seemed a little romantic to you with his flirtatious demeanor. Fortunately, you were wrong.

“Fuck, yes!” When he grunted deeply and forced you to lie on the floor properly, you screamed out in delight. Your ass was no longer in the air, and your walls were clenching firmly from the way his hips pressed against your body. To intensify the pleasure, he wanted you to be as tight as possible. 

“You wanted me to fuck you just like this, didn't you?” Dean moaned as he spoke in your ear and roughly tugged at your hair. He forced you to hunch over. Spreading your legs for him would be simpler, but it seems that he wanted you to be as tight as possible. “Answer me!”

“You feel so thick, so good, Dean,” you moaned. The corners of your mouth formed a smile. You were in heaven. Dean could barely control his groans as he fucked you deep and moved rapidly inside you. The sound of his balls striking your ass from behind and your frantic whimpering filled the room. “Oh god, oh fuck, ah yes, fuck, right there!”

You were staring into Dean's teary eyes after he yanked your hair once, forcing your head to arch back as much as it could. You were sobbing with joy and anticipation at finally getting fucked by him. Dean glanced at your open mouth and accelerated his thrust.

Then he spat into your mouth out of the blue. His abrupt coarseness caused your walls to tense. “Fucking slut. You need your mouth to be filled right now so badly. You like sucking cocks? You like getting fucked like this, don't you? That's what you deserve. Do you like it? Look at you. Spreading your legs for a man who's ten years older than you.”

“Fuck, Dean, I like it so, so much.” You swallowed his spit and whimpered, “I need your cum in my mouth so badly; I need to taste you.” You loved the age difference between you and him. It was just perfect. 

“You wanna to drink my cum? You believe you're worthy of it?” He fucked you rough from behind, groaning into your lips and tugging your hair a bit more. 

“I really, really need this. I really need you.”

Dean sped up, letting your hair fall loose as your walls began to tighten around him. He placed his rough hands on your hips and grunted, lifting them slightly to properly strike the sensitive spots. You were unable to contain your orgasm, which swept through your entire body, and you shook violently while screaming his name. While you rose to heaven, reached the peak, your hands firmly clutched the table next to you. 

Dean didn't even pause to fuck you throughout your climax. He repeatedly insulted you while spanking your ass, despite your attempts to push his hands away when your pussy felt too sensitive. You let out a painful moan after the third hard spank. The cheeks of your ass were burning. Tears were streaming down your face as you continued to tell him how wonderful he was and whimper in both pain and pleasure.

Dean grumbled, froze inside of you, and began spilling his sperm into the condom just as your orgasm was fading. You were motionless beneath him because his hand was firmly gripping your ass. You wished Dean wasn't wearing a condom and used his white sperm to paint your walls at that precise time, even though you've never had sex without your partner using one. He would feel hot and sticky, you bet.

When he continued to moan and fuck you in order to thoroughly empty himself within the condom, you grinned slyly. You could get an orgasm just by listening to his masculine moans as he filled you with his satisfying noises. Once you turned your head as far as you could and watched him tightly closing his eyes as he emptied his balls, you bit your lips. The view was just perfect. 

He muttered, “Fuck,” and then cautiously withdrew. You smiled as you turned to face him and pulled up your shorts and underwear. You were feeling satisfied and at ease. 

With a disgusted expression, he put the condom in his jacket pockets after taking it out and tying it, and he gave you a look as if you forced him to fuck you. “That was awfully good,” you finally said, panting as you continued to lie on the carpet. 

Dean straightened his jeans and pulled himself back into his boxers. Then, without a word, he stood up and left you on the ground. He appeared to be in trouble and was gradually regaining consciousness. He felt a wave of regret and sorrow wash over him as the overwhelming realization of the betrayal hit him in the gut. He had carelessly fucked his brother's girlfriend on the floor. 

You did everything you could to feel what he was feeling at the moment, but there was nothing. His anguish, remorse, and guilt were palpable. He was determined about not letting these bad things go. If he could, Dean would have fun and live his life the way he wanted. 

Saying in a gruff voice, "This won't happen again," he also straightened his shirt.

His pathetic attempt to downplay the bond between you made you want to roll your eyes. After all, nothing could stop what was about to happen. You each had what you wanted, and it was only sex. You wanted to say a lot of things and wanted to put your hands on his cheek. However, you stood up and faced him instead.

When you said, “You know it will, Dean,” you couldn't help but smile. You didn't want it to end quickly and were already for a second round. Maybe another time.

Dean said, without comment, “I gotta go.” As if it would help him forget what he had just done, all he wanted to do was get out of there. All he could think was about his betrayal, his brother, and his trust in him. 

AN: My soul was drained by them and this fic. The first chapter is here now. Do not write 'Part 2', please. 😓 It's causing me a great deal of stress. Tell me what you think, please. 🤎

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[thesilmarillionblog]

Hi just so you know I changed my name from hells-dragon to x-ghostslovie-x

Hello! I'll update your name in Taglists. Thank you for informing me 🥰

[thesilmarillionblog]

DIARIES OF DISLOYALTY ─ mini series masterlist.

Pairing: Dean Winchester / Sam Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 4434 \ ? Divider: @strangergraphics

Trope: Friends with Benefits

Diaries of Disloyalty: Part 1

Diaries of Disloyalty: Part 2

Diaries of Disloyalty: Part 3

Diaries of Disloyalty: Part 4

Diaries of Disloyalty: Part 5

Diaries of Disloyalty: Part 6

Diaries of Disloyalty: Part 7

[thesilmarillionblog]

𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄 ── Part 6

Click here to read the first part.

Summary: In the hopes that things would improve between you, you choose to lose your virginity to your friend Dean Winchester because you have been in love with him madly for a long time. However, he doesn't feel the same about you.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x F!Reader

Warnings: +18! (Minors DNI), SMUT!, soft, fluff, sick reader, soft dean, fingering, teasing, intimacy, love is in the air, confessions, naive sam, awkward and touch starved dean

Word Count: 14.9K (huuuuhh)

A/N: English is not my first language.

Song: 'Deathbeds' by Bring Me the Horizon Click for Series Masterlist!

When you said those three words in the most forceful yet gentle way possible, Dean's eyes widened in surprise. There was a long, heavy stillness now. As you recovered your calm, you realized you were holding your breath and examining every facial expression. Only surprise was there. His lips parted as though he was looking for something to say as you let go of his hand and turned around, tidying up the mess. Your heart was racing so hard that you didn't want him to say anything at all. All you wanted to do was flee and scream because you felt foolish and reckless.

Since the night you allowed him to touch you, you have done everything in your power to keep your friendship intact and stay healthy. It was absurd how simple it was to sever your relationship with just three words. They were sincere, though. There was no turning back now. In reality, touching each other in the most intimate way could never repair what you had broken down. You had feelings for him for a long time, but it would be simpler if you had no feelings at all.

Even though you repeatedly reminded yourself that you didn't want Dean to treat you like any other hookups, you didn't want that. You wanted to feel taken care of and at least somewhat liked by him. You wanted to be special for him and get intimate. 

You could now see, though, how self-centered you truly were about it. Even though you didn't intend to be truthful with him about your little secret, you should have been honest from the very beginning. Without hesitation or second-guessing, you told him how you truly felt, and there was no way to undo what had happened. With your heart pounding, you quickly walked to Sam's side after gulping without looking back at Dean. You believed you were having a heart attack or something because of how quickly and powerfully your heart was beating against your chest. 

Your coworker looked at Dean and you strangely, as though she had detected something, and Sam was staring at you both with the same bizarre look. However, when he saw Dean's hand covered in bandages, his face shifted.

As you assisted him in getting up with Dean, you questioned, “How did you even manage to hurt yourself like this?” You didn't look back at Dean, but you could feel his gaze on you. 

“I guess I was being a little too confident,” he moaned painfully. You nearly laughed when you saw Sam's puppy face. He said, “Dean, are you okay?”

There was a strong desire to flee without turning around. You could throw up there because your heart was beating so hard. You were feeling nauseous from that overwhelming feeling. In fact, you were feeling ill. It didn't matter if being honest was important; you were now doomed. You were lying to yourself; it was completely unnecessary for you to display such bravery by saying it. Saying such things in a hectic situation was easy, but how could you now look Dean in the eye from now on?

You may wish to think about moving as soon as you can. To avoid Dean, it would really be preferable if you spent the night with Robb. God, why would he ever come to the hospital and say things like that to make you feel weak and make you say such things? He should have understood how his words and behavior affected you.

“I'm...alright,” Dean murmured quietly. His voice was a quiet whisper as he spoke. You legs felt shaky.

“You both are okay, but careful with the wounds,” you managed to murmur before Sam carefully stood up. 

As Dean assisted him, Sam grumbled in a concerned tone, “You look horrible. You're working a lot nowadays. It is important that you take some time to yourself, right? Just to rest a little at least. If you quit working, the whole country won't just die. You know, you can come over tonight. Dean would prepare dinner for the three of us. Well, I can invite Ruby, too. We haven't spent a day together in a while.”

You've never felt more miserable in your life than when Dean looked at Sam. Even though you heard noises coming from Dean's room when Jo was with him weeks earlier, you thought you would never feel so bad. You were wrong. That was the worst. Without attempting to ascertain Dean's thoughts at the moment, you said hastily, “You're... right, but I'll be working some time more, and I'll think I'll have some rest afterwards.”

Sam waited for Dean to break the tension and convince you, although you did look a bit uncomfortable. When Dean didn't speak or interrupt, Sam was perplexed, which made things a little awkward. Sam gave a sigh. “Okay. You are welcome to visit whenever you like. I'm just saying, Don't ignore my texts.”

“Thanks, Sammy,” you said, attempting to lighten the situation by caressing his wound, but he made a sound of pain. It was impossible to change the atmosphere between you and Dean, but you hurried away as if you had been saved when you were called in to see another patient. 

After some time, you sipped some water, but your stomach hurt and your throat still felt dry. Your legs were shaking uncontrollably, yet it wasn't because you were hungry or too exhausted to stand. You tried to convince yourself that there was nothing wrong with your body and that you just needed to get some sleep after washing your hands and face.

Though you were ready to exit the restroom, you started throwing up. You attempted to hang on somewhere, but the bitter taste made you gag more. This time, you found yourself crying when you began to throw up. Perhaps it was a result of all the stress you were under due to the past few days. You simply felt dreadful. 

You heard someone say, “Oh my god,” as she placed a hand on your back and massaged it as though she wanted to soothe you. “Are you okay?” 

You nodded hastily, embarrassed, trying to ignore the stinging pain in your gut. “I am.” As you proceeded to puke into the closet, tears streamed down your cheeks. Your colleague's hand continued to touch your back as your knees brushed the dirt off the floor. You were too focused on yourself to pay attention to the questions she was asking.

“Are you pregnant?”

When you attempted to tidy up yourself, you stated, “No!.”

“Really,” she said in a worried voice as she glanced at your lower abdomen. “You were just doing okay, you know.”

“Really, I'm not pregnant. I'm sure,” you attempted to persuade her. “Not much happened recently. I suppose I'm just a little unwell.”

While others entered the restroom and departed after they gave you odd looks, she nodded and helped you with cleaning up. “Are you hungry?”

“No,” you sobbed softly, embarrassed by your body's reaction to Dean's overwhelming presence. You were aware that it was only psychological. You were already exhausted and were making every effort to suppress everything that had been causing you days of anxiety. At last, your body had surrendered and rejected your indifference.

You said, “I guess I just need some break,” before she asked any more questions. “I shouldn't have put in so much work in the first place.” She gave you a short nod and rubbed your arms.

“Well, I suppose not. You should not overexert your body, as you are aware of this. Your eyes beg you to go for a nap. How you were able to keep upright for so long is a wonder.”

“Yeah.” You smiled gratefully at her. “Thank you. I believe I can handle myself now.”

Taking a quick glimpse in the mirror and realizing how pale your face appeared, you washed your mouth and face to get rid of the awful taste and smell. She gave you more advice, but shortly after, she exited the bathroom while you cleaned your face and agreed with all she said. You were hoping to take a seat on the floor and unwind for a while. But you knew that all you needed to do was return home and shut yourself off from the outside world.

Dean wasn't chatting as much as he used to, so Sam complained a little on the way home. When Dean reminded him not to get carried away on hunts, he sounded harsh, but Sam ignored his erratic attitude. The ache in Sam's abdomen was making him goran in pain. God, that would take a while to heal. Fortunately, Dean would recover soon enough. His hand was going to heal far more quickly.

Given how silent Dean stayed, Sam couldn't help but think about how you two had been acting somewhat strangely this past weekend. He pondered; maybe Sam didn't see it properly since something happened between you two. Sam followed Dean as he sat on the coach, seeing him put his fingertips to his lips and lose himself in contemplation, dwelling on things Sam couldn't anticipate. Sam pretended to be fiddling with his phone as he watched his big dumb brother play with his lips and ruminate.

In the meantime, Dean pondered over the three words you told him as though they were the simplest to utter aloud. Dean's heart constricted as he continued to reflect on the day he unknowingly took your virginity and made the first move. He was trying to figure out what was going on between you and him by replaying the same scenarios in his mind, but he was drowning in uncertainty and a flood of emotions.

He was no longer able to recall why he had made the first move weeks before. It didn't make sense to blame each other for ruining your friendship. Now it could not be fixed. In separate ways, each of you was guilty. But why he didn't care about that at all was beyond Dean's grasp. 

Dean became irritated with himself for not seeing you clearly when he recalled certain specific memories involving you. Perhaps it was always obvious—you were obvious—but he had inadvertently missed it. The three words that left your lips and the way you placed them into expressions without hesitation were replayed in his head while Dean's fingertips brushed his lips and he took a long, deep breath. He was aware that you were always fearless when hunting and all, but he thought that since you avoided getting to know people, you would be afraid to let them in.

Dean believed you.

It would be foolish of him to try to disbelieve you. You were the most genuine and kind person he had ever come across. He smiled quietly to himself, knowing that you had given yourself to him without expecting anything in return and that he was genuinely loved. Though impulsive and free-spirited, Dean was different this time. He felt no regret for it. But he could not yet pinpoint what it was that was making him both excited and annoyed.

“What's wrong with you?” Dean jumped when Sam spoke suddenly. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he was unaware of it. 

When Dean noticed he was bleeding his lips from playing them so wildly, he scowled. His body stiffened. “Nothing.”

Sam was obviously unaware of the situation between you and Dean, but it wasn't because Dean was unwilling to divulge information until certain issues had been handled. He didn't want to add to the awkwardness of the situation.

“Don't lie to me,” Sam grumbled bitterly. “It's obvious something is wrong with you.” In annoyance, Dean rolled his eyes. “With you and Y/N, actually.”

As soon as Dean heard your name, his body tightened, and he flexed his muscles while staring at Sam with his arms folded across his chest. Sam was getting ideas from his silence that were difficult to verbalize. After all, you were friends for a year. However, Sam was aware of his big brother's greedy need to date and sleep with each woman he encountered. Sam breathed, disturbed by the pictures that flooded his head. He had to ask and needed Dean to say no, even though he wasn't eager. 

Dean's eyes widened as Sam put a hand on his forehead as if he wasn't ready to hear the answer, and he asked, “Did you sleep with her?” 

He warily observed his big brother's facial reactions and the way his lips were parted to defend himself, but Dean's words remained in his mouth. Dean finally began, “Why-” but Sam groaned in annoyance as he realized he was right about everything that he thought was inappropriate. 

Sam muttered, “I can't believe you,” in disbelief. He was aware that his brother had always been a playboy and Casanova, but he had hoped that things wouldn't work out with you as well because Sam knew you were looking for something deeper and serious as Dean was in passionate relationships only that didn't last very long. Sam simply knew that Dean hadn't been looking for love lately, even though his brother wasn't that incapable of loving someone or anything. Dean just wasn't searching for anything serious. Sam knew that.

You were different than him about that for sure.

Dean's stance changed as he inhaled deeply, feeling more like the younger brother. His uncertain expression faded. He finally stated, “We are not some goddamn teenagers,” in a firm voice, while dismissing Sam's remark. 

Once Dean basically confirmed what had happened between you and him, Sam folded his arms over his chest as if he were about to deliver a lecture. “What the hell, Dean? We've been friends with her for a while. More than a year, in fact.”

“And?” Dean almost said something even more offensive, like “was being for a year supposed to stop his dick,” but he restrained himself. 

“What do you mean 'and'?” Sam shook his head and closed his eyes for a moment. “Are you the cause of her recent behavior? It's not her style to work that hard, disregarding interactions and other things.”

Dean had been thinking about the same issues. Of course. But Sam's words struck him hard, causing him to squirm uneasily on the coach. He remained silent and wished Sam would simply stop bothering him. He needed to think about what he should do going forward to avoid making things worse. 

“Possibly.” Dean didn't deny.

“Did you friendzone her?”

“What the heck is it supposed to mean?” Irritated at the word but unsure of its exact meaning, Dean snapped at last. It sounded neither pleasant nor lovely. It was quite hostile. He became irritated at Sam's tone, which suggested that Dean had done something wrong. 

Sam added clumsily, “I mean, you know afterwards,” while Dean waited for him to finish speaking and glared at him. “Did you discuss it? Was she comfortable with it being a one-night stand?” As if he were a teenager, Sam flushed when he spoke about you and Dean in that way. He wondered if Dean had discussed it with you at all. 

“It wasn't a one-night stand,” Dean immediately opposed his brother's hint. 

“What was it then?”

“Not a one-stand obviously,” Dean said in defense. He hoped that his brother would stop asking questions about things that were no longer of interest to him. Dean declined to divulge your little secret or the events of Halloween night to Sam. It was about you and him, and Dean needed to figure it out by himself.

“It was just heat of the moment, then?” Sam made a suggestion, as if he wanted to help his brother open up and understand him. Given how much you've been ignoring him and Dean lately, Sam would not discuss this with you given that he plainly believed you wouldn't be keen to talk about Dean at this time. If you wanted to, you would talk about it already.

“No.”

Sam sighed and acknowledged that his brother wouldn't be quite so easy to break at this time. “For gods sake, Dean,” he mumbled. He wondered if Dean even knew what he was doing. “How do you manage to do complex things when they are so easy to resolve?”

Dean replied, “You wouldn't get it,” with seriousness.

Taking a few snacks from the kitchen, Sam remarked, “Well, I think you're the one who don't get a shit.” The tiny struggle that his brother was experiencing almost made him chuckle. But given what a mess you were, it was readily apparent that Dean was the reason you were suffering. “Does she like you, or do you even like her?”

After turning his head away from Sam, Dean got up and left for his room to avoid getting any more questions and to give himself some space to thoroughly think about how to handle this matter. While his brother was clearly perplexed and waited for a response, Dean remained silent. Still, Dean was also in a difficult situation. After everything that had transpired between you, he wasn't okay with the idea of tossing you away. It was never his intention and would never be.

He cared about you.

As he sat on the bed with his phone in his hands, his pulse was pounding, recalling how you expressed yourself when you truly told him you loved him. Dean was aware of your earnestness. He was too shocked to talk when you left him stunned in the hospital, but now he felt different, as though the purity of your words had somehow roused something within of him. It was incredible how you could always get under his skin in every manner with only basic words.

Knowing that you cared for him for a long time and that your love for him was so gentle that he didn't even notice it until you finally spoke your true feelings made Dean chuckle. He felt compelled to look after you because he felt a stronger, warmer, and deeper connection even though he had taken your virginity. It wasn't about that night. 

Dean liked you.

The reason he took you that night was more than just intense lust. He wanted to touch you, kiss you, and be with you all the way. Even if he was unaware of it when he was with Jo, something had clearly changed in him after that night. Perhaps his intention was to hide something and pretend that you were the same. It wasn't.

You remained the same, but he had changed.

Putting down his phone, Dean undressed and decided to take a shower, as if that would solve. He wanted a little more time to think about you while taking a cold shower. Dean thought about what he should do, knowing that he would have to wait until your shift ended. It would be disappointing if he chose not to speak up with the same courage that you did. You were both grownups, after all.

After driving home, you got inside and promptly put everything you had on the coach. Every part of your body hurts, including your back and stomach. You could no longer throw up, but there was a revolting taste in your mouth that nearly made you puke with disgust. There was nothing left in your body, though. Before taking the medicine, you tried your best to eat something. Once you entered your room, you were under the covers without even changing your clothes. Though you thought you would be fine sooner, your legs were trembling a little.

In simple terms, your body had finally given up because you were so overwhelmed by all that had happened over the past weeks. You reasoned that vomiting might be a metaphor. Your body was working hard to release all of the stress and negative energy that you had long disregarded. After all, you were a nurse. Nobody understood your physique as well as you did.

You tried to persuade your body to go to sleep by closing your eyes, but your mind tricked you by keeping you preoccupied with Dean. You couldn't get him off your mind. His eyes, his touch, his smile, his voice, his face... You couldn't help but yearn for him. That was sick. You needed him so badly.

You used to look after him while he was unwell. You were happy to care for him and did everything in your power to help him recover, not because it was your job. You wanted him to know that anyone could love him and that Sam wasn't the only one who cared for him. You never performed them in order to receive something in return.

But it hit you in the gut when you realized you had no one to look after you. You started weeping in bed as soon as your eyes began to well up. You were unsure of whether you sobbed because you were sick, lovesick, or because of Dean, or because you were in dire need of compassion and no one was there to provide it. It didn't matter why. One by one, you wept for each one.

In order to call Dean right now, you wish you hadn't told him you loved him. You wanted him to come over and stay with you until you felt better. You had to deal with things on your own, whether you had the energy or not, because you had done the most ridiculous thing in your life—telling him you loved him. Your body failed you even if you took several medications.

You were so overcome by your feelings and weary of crying that your frail body finally gave way to sleep. Even though your body ached, all you could think about was Dean.

Dean realized you must have returned home by now after keeping himself occupied with his car and weaponry. Since the morning, you have been on his mind constantly. Even when he peed, ate lunch, and in other situations, he couldn't stop thinking about you. You seemed to be in his veins in some way. However, Dean didn't whine about it. Dean was pacing the room, unsure whether or not he should have texted you. He occupied himself with his searching after taking a shower and made the decision to meet you.

After taking a long breath, he put his hand on his hip and straightened his posture before calling you. Even though he wasn't sure what to say, he planned to have a proper conversation with you and to offer eating dinner outside. You used to stop by several nice locations months ago. He hoped you were hungry.

Once Dean saw that you weren't very eager to pick up his calls, he scowled while he waited for your answer. Nevertheless, he patiently waited for you since he didn't want you to believe that he was reaching out to you in vain. You still avoided responding even though he was stubborn.

Whispering to himself, “Come on,” he waited. His uncertainties vanished and were replaced by curiosity. Dean pondered if you were cutting off him from your life entirely, ignoring him, or being too embarrassed to answer his calls. That would be ridiculous. Dean didn't believe he had done anything to encourage you. You were doing okay up until now.

Dean was abruptly irritated by your choice to tell him how you felt and to not allow him to react, making all of the decisions on your own and leaving everything up in the air. With a decision made, he exited his room, placed his phone in his pocket, and got into his car. Since the morning, he had been experiencing some worry and a slight lack of confidence. But suddenly it was all gone. Everything would be resolved once you could work things out and have a straightforward conversation.

When Dean noticed that every light was on, he patiently waited outside before calling you again. He wondered whether you were deliberately making him irritated by being so insistent. As he unlocked the door with the keys you handed him a month ago, Dean took a deep breath and felt proud of the trust you placed in him. That trust was something he prayed Robb or no one else did not have. He desired it all for himself. Sharing was something Dean disapproved of.

Feeling like a teenager, Dean's heart pounded wildly on his chest as he entered your house. You were nowhere to be seen in his sight. Disturbed, he called your name while acting awkwardly. Hiş voice came out softer than he had anticipated and refrained from calling you in an affectionate manner, with lovely nicknames. He had no idea how much he wanted to establish a fresh relationship with you until now.

As soon as Dean saw your bag on the coach, he became stiff and worried. He wasn't happy with the silence. With a brief glance around, Dean came inside your room without knocking. There was nothing to hear in the home except the creaking of the door. He observed your sleeping body after he turned on the lights.

A ghostly smile came on Dean's lips as he took a big breath, his heart so full of relief. But as soon as he saw you were humming in your sleep, his smile vanished. You weren't sleeping peacefully; it was apparent. You appeared to be in agony or suffering from nightmares.

With a swift motion, Dean sat down on the bed and instantly placed his palms on your forehead to take your body temperature. You weren't okay, but it wasn't like you were burning. He placed his palm on your warm cheek again and gently said your name to wake you.

Your eyelids slowly opened as you felt rough hands dancing across your flesh, but initially you were unable to see who was caressing you. Yet you recognized that sweet voice. You searched for strength as you started to come to your senses.

“Dean?” you eventually managed to whisper. You groaned in disdain at the irritating taste in your throat. Your body and spirit had finally been overtaken by the illness. Your body felt very little at that time, and you were so weak and lazy. The air was so chilly that your fingers clenched around the blanket.

This time, he mumbled, “Hey, sweetheart,” with worry. You had no idea if your mind was playing ridiculous games with you. Perhaps that was your brain's way of safeguarding you to feel a bit better. You tried to open your eyes, but you were unable to tell the difference between hallucinations and the real world.

You just mumbled something, but your own ears couldn't even hear it.

He said, “I've been calling you for hours,” at least to get you to wake up and start a conversation. “Have you gotten cold? Why didn't you give me a call?”

Despite Dean's best efforts to get you to speak, you only sighed in a whisper and fell back asleep. Remembering how professional you were when he was ill in the past, he felt powerless and was unsure of what to do at the moment. But he could tell you were cold just by the way you looked. Raising Sam taught him things that only parents and doctors should have known. It must have been brought on by working so hard without resting.

He called your name again, but this time you fell asleep again without even letting out a small moan. You gasped as he gently stroked your face and then pushed the cover away. “Come on,” he replied, insistent that you didn't nod off.

You sighed, “I'm cold,” while refusing to let grip of the blanket's corner. You woke up when the cold touched your flesh.

It broke your heart to see Dean on the bed as you opened your sore eyes. The instant your eyes met, the air tightened up. Your hand stopped struggling, and you were unable to stop yourself from crying again. Tears caused your vision to become unclear.

He gently explained, “You've got fever,” and set the blanket aside. “Have you eaten something today?”

You gazed at his attractive face while your tears continued to moisten your burning cheeks. “I don't know,” you replied. Right now, the thought of eating something makes you feel nauseous. All you wanted was to get into bed and go to sleep, to doze off till you healed.

“You haven't eaten anything, then. All right,” he said and attempted to assist you in standing up by placing his hand on your arms. Even though you knew he wasn't being harsh or anything, his hands seemed heavier. You started crying uncontrollably because you felt vulnerable. Dean was talking to you as though you hadn't declared your love hours before, and your back was already hurting a lot.

He whispered, “Why are you crying now?” curiously. His fingertips hovered over your arms as though to soothe your body, but you were afraid that he had created something that would physically harm you. “Are you hurt somewhere?”

You just said, “I want to sleep,” while glancing at him. Your view was so vague that it was impossible to see his face properly.

The way you gazed at Dean with the big tears still streaming from your crimson eyes warmed his heart. He really wanted to calm you down, reassure you, and make you feel better, but he understood he had to deal with your body first. “Come on,” he said. “I'll prepare you the greatest soup ever, which will help you recover quickly, but first you should take a good, cold shower. The soup will be fantastic, I assure you.”

It didn't seem like Dean's attempt to brighten your mood was successful. You lowered your gaze and remained quiet, as though you were not listening to him. His question was abrupt: "Do you want me to help you shower?" He didn't make any nasty suggestions. Dean was just trying to figure out how to get you feeling better, and he was ready to do anything.

“What? No!”

You were worried about how serious he was now, and the thought of him helping you shower startled you up.

“Don't be childish. Regarding health and medical matters, there is no shame. You are more educated about this than I am,” he mumbled, overjoyed by your reaction. Even though Dean had already seen everything, he didn't say it to embarrass you even more. “Your fever has to be treated right now. And if you continue to act obstinate, you know, I'll have to take you to the bathroom myself.”

In order to persuade you, Dean spoke in a very serious tone. “Act more reasonably, as you are the nurse here and should know better.” Dean sighed as he saw your feeble figure and helped you get up, which you did not object to this time. The first thing you said was “Okay.” Now you stopped crying. “I can handle myself.”

You gave him a quick, shy glance, and Dean gave you a very suspicious look. “Good girl. While you take a quick shower, I will quickly cook a delicious soup for you. Don't make me check on you, okay?”

You whispered, “Alright,” as your body guided you to the bathroom. You indeed had to take a fast, cold shower. You couldn't help but feel a bit cheerful even though your head hurt. It felt so good to be cared for by him that you could be sick all the time.

After your brief shower, you stretched your muscles and finally put on your pajamas, feeling as though your bones had been renewed. The number of hours you slept without even changing your trousers was extraordinary. Dean was right. After your little shower, you've been feeling slightly better. The exhaustion was still present, though. Your eyelids couldn't stay open at all.

The kitchen was still being used by Dean. You had no energy at all, even though you really wanted to go there and talk to him. Your fingers were clenched around the blankets to keep your body warm as you began to tremble and you found yourself back in bed. You were cold. Your mind also calmed down and ceased ripping apart you with negative ideas about Dean while he was around. You were finally free of pain. Your body continued to unwind beneath the covers while he came to check on you and spoke to you, giving the impression that he wasn't mad at you or anything. The headache had almost gone away. You just needed to relax by getting some sleep.

From a distance, you could hear him calling your name, but you lacked the power to take action.

“Hey,” he grumbled. Dean arrived in your room with a cup of soup. “You're not sleeping yet. Not until you finish eating this miraculous soup. Are you aware of the amount of work I put into it?”

Knowing what he was going to do, you hugged the covers tightly. Your body shivered, and you moaned in protest as he pushed the blankets away, just as you thought he wouldn't be able to remove them from your hands this time. The smell of soup only made you scowl in disdain; it had no nice scent. You had no desire to ever eat something again.

“I just need some sleep.” You cringed at your sick tone.

After making you get up just enough to allow you to start eating your soup, Dean gently sat down next to you and placed the tray on his lap. He gave you a gentle push before your tired hands picked up the spoon, adding, “You just lay down nicely, sick nurse.” He did everything he could to cheer you up and start a conversation. Rather, he saw that your cheeks were flushed, which was adequately amusing.

As soon as the spoon reached your lips, you groaned in agony due to the extreme warmth. You didn't say anything to avoid coming out as ungrateful. “Sorry for that,” Dean said in a regretful whisper while blowing out the smoke a few times with an apologetic look. He didn't change his mind when you told him that you could handle yourself.

Every time he calmly blew the smoke before you ate, you saw that he had changed his clothes. Dean was wearing pajamas now as well. You pondered where he would be sleeping, and your heart melted at the idea of him spending the night with you. In order to prevent him from reading your face, you nibbled your inner cheeks and focused on the soup's flavor. It was really excellent. Dean was correct to create a miraculous soup that may accelerate your recovery from illness. You were already feeling better, even if you still had backache.

“Thank you, Dean.” You frowned and turned your head away from the spoon, refusing to consume the entire soup when you felt your nausea returning. “I

think that's enough,” you murmured timidly.

Thankfully, Dean placed the tray aside while you used tissue to wipe the corners of your lip. After displaying a few of your medications in his palm, he inquired, “Which one do you need to take? Since they do not have boxes, it is impossible to determine which one is helpful.”

Your cheeks flushed as you saw one of the pills you had been taking since the night with Dean in his hands, but you remained silent. At this time, you were relieved that he was rather naive. There was a pregnant silence in the room as you picked the right one, drank a glass of water, and then wrapped yourself with warm blankets once more. You instantly closed your eyes to keep from looking directly at Dean. As a result of Dean's crushing presence, your eyelids were firmly closed and your heart was racing.

You wanted to let him know how wonderful he was and how his compassion and sincerity made you feel better than you had in a long time. However, you were not allowed to utter any of those. You had so much you wanted to say at the moment, but you held it back out of shame and guilt. You turn away from Dean and pay close attention to his movements in the room, hoping he won't talk about what you told him and will pretend it never happened. If he couldn't love you back, you just wanted him to be this way forever. It meant the world to you that he was taking care of you in this way. It was quite adequate.

Dean immediately climbed into the bed after you had closed your eyes. Your body stiffened up, and your heart began racing as soon as you felt his weight on the bed. The way he affected you was embarrassing. But even though you knew it was only an act of kindness, it still made you unfulfilled and sad. Because you wished so desperately for him to feel the same way about you, it became a prayer. Your body longed for him—to experience his comforting presence and touch.

“Are you feeling better now?” The silence was disturbed by Dean placing his palm on your forehead to measure your temperature. Hearing his talk so near made your body shiver, and you could feel his hefty presence just behind you. You closed your eyes as though something would happen and he would leave. You could have broken at any time since your body was so rigid.

You muttered, “Yes,” as your back hurt like it was trying to prevent you from getting a good night's sleep. “Just a sore back. Overworking must be the cause.”

With a sudden connection, you gasped as his large hands began rubbing your back. You began moaning a bit with relaxation since the intense closeness of the situation was so overpowering. When Dean felt your tight body slowly letting go under his touch, his lips curved pleasantly. There was nothing sexual about the moment. Dean kept on massaging your back in the hopes that it might make you feel better.

After caressing your back enough, he moved to place his head directly behind yours and withdrew his hand. You realized you had shifted till your head was resting on his thick neck, and you wished he hadn't been listening to your heartbeats when he was so close. You felt safeguarded, but perhaps it was your sleep or the touch of him that made you impulsive. The moment was so lovely and delightful that it couldn't have been produced by the wildest dreams.

Dean's hard kiss on the back of your head caused your lips to parted. Once he smelled your hair, you were relieved you had showered. He said, “You smell so nice and fresh,” moving slightly to ensure that you both slept well.

Your body relaxed even more as you let your head drop back a bit more and kept your eyes closed as soon as his hand took yours into his warm ones. Your lips may brush across his chin if you make a small movement. You no longer wanted to sleep; all you wanted was to savor that moment of perfection indefinitely and to keep quiet about it. Your mind and soul had been craving that intimacy for months.

Both of your hands remained on your stomach as Dean's hand continued to touch your fingertips. His breathing caught your attention. The only sound in the room was the rain that had begun to fall outside. As Dean's hands continued to touch you in harmony, the calm sounds of the raindrops filled your entire being with fulfillment and a state of bliss more than the last time, as though each one were filling a hole in the pit of your soul.

You didn't know if it meant something for Dean. But that didn't matter. Whatever Dean was prepared to offer you, you were prepared to embrace it. As soon as your exhaustion gave way to sleep again and you sensed Dean getting closer, you knew it was time for a restful night's sleep.

After a long and pleasant sleep, you stretched your body in between sighs of delight. You smiled a bit as you felt Dean's hand on yours, thinking he was still asleep. Taking advantage of the fact that he didn't move behind you, you leaned your back on his chest a bit further.

“Good morning to you too,” Dean remarked abruptly in an amusing manner, causing you to jump and then freeze in shame.

You said, “Morning,” as if you hadn't just been brushing against his body.

“Slept well, I guess.” To check if you still had a fever, Dean touched your forehead and asked. Fortunately, you were fine. He was happy to be able to help you the way you deserved, and it filled his chest with pride.

“Yeah, thank you, Dean, for taking care of me.” As you thanked him for enhancing your mood in every manner while your mind considered saying different things. Dean, overcome with excitement, moved behind you so he could meet your gaze. Your muscles stiffened up once again as you worried about what was coming. Right now, you didn't want to talk at all.

When Dean moved, your hands were waiting on each side of you, hovering over your body. “I'm sorry,” he said softly, paying close attention to your eyes. As you considered what to say, you licked your dried lips. You were ready for rejection, but you wanted to keep yourself composed so that your friendship wouldn't end over something so... dumb.

“That night, I didn't want to upset you or hurt your feelings.” He said, “When I found out about... You know,” without bringing it up to avoid making you feel uncomfortable. “It didn't go...waste.”

You shook your head and mumbled, “Dean,” disturbed that he actually believed it to be a serious issue. He interrupted you before you could respond and continued.

He stated, “What's special to you is special to me as well,” in a firm tone.

With beseeching eyes, you murmured, “It's not special, I promise, I swear,” so that he would never feel guilty for something he was uninformed of. You alone made that choice. He was correct to hold you responsible for something he had no control over. You need to have apologized for it. “I never expected anything in return.” Even though your cheeks were flushed, you continued firmly, “I would never.” You understood that in order to mend your disagreements, you needed to have this talk.

He said, “I know, I know,” as if that wasn't what he was attempting to convey. “I just want you to know how pleased I am that it was me. It didn't go wasted, alright? Can you forgive me?”

“Of course.” You hurriedly answered with a sweet tone. “There is nothing to be forgiven,” and in an attempt to convince him of your sincerity, one of your hands instantly reached up and caressed his arm.

Your gentle touch caused Dean's eyes to soften and his body to relax. When he saw that you were panting deeply and that he was nearly on top of you, he gulped and licked his dry lips. His thoughts were swiftly superseded by other things. At last, his eyes ceased observing you as you chewed your lips. Dean made an effort to focus on your small talk.

The idea of going on a date with you made his heart race. Dean was ready to go all the way with you. He knew, however, that he should be doing it right. If he weren't a grown man, he would be blushing at the thought of your proclamation of love for him. He wouldn't talk about it until you were more comfortable and at ease with him. Dean knew you were a little shy right now. “Now that you're feeling better, would you like to go out tonight? With me?”

“For what?” you inquired naively. Your fingertips were gently massaging his biscep.

This time, Dean smiled when he saw your look of confusion. Whether or not it made you shy, it seemed like he had to start acting braver from now on. “A date?”

Your lips were parted in shock as your hands went down on his muscles. You continued to stare into his beautiful green eyes as you attempted to make sense of what he was saying so you wouldn't ridicule yourself in front of him. You weren't sure whether he meant something else, but he appeared to be rather serious. “What date?”

As Dean said, “I'm assuming we both are ready to make little amendments about our relationship,” he began to get closer to you. Already, the gentle motion of your fingertips on his arm was causing him to imagine inappropriate things. When you showed him how bold you were in your love declaration, Dean wouldn't dare to deny his own feelings for you. He was eager to see how well you two could work together since he had such affection for you.

Though your heart was racing, you couldn't help but feel a little insecure because of the way things had been going lately. If Dean was acting this way because he had taken your virginity without knowing about it, it would hurt you more than anything he had said. “Dean,” you finally muttered, “I would never force you into something you're not into just because of such an insignificant thing. It doesn't matter. I swear,” you said firmly, though your voice was a little cracked, but you needed him to believe you because you were totally honest about it. “I cannot undo what I have told you, but I'm willing to keep our... friendship maintained. I don't want to lose-”

Dean decided to disregard your words and let your actions speak more by capturing your lips and silencing you, even though you made earnest attempts to convince him that you were okay with moving forward as you have in the past. You were so shocked that you didn't move as Dean did his best to push his tongue into your mouth by trying to part your lips. His hand lightly brushed your neck in an attempt to elicit a response.

When you eventually regained consciousness, you parted your lips to allow his tongue to enter. As soon as you let him, his frantic kisses slowed and softened, like though you had just been into a fight and he had calmed down. When Dean intensified his seductive kisses, your uncertainties and fears vanished. It was hard to imagine if he would respond to your love in the manner you were hoping for. However, you choose to let him take control and wait patiently to see what comes next.

As he began shifting on the bed and gradually climbing on top of you, you felt hotter the softer your kisses became. He withdrew to let you both catch your breath, but he continued to stroke your burning lips with his reddened ones. Desire flooded your body as though you hadn't been sick the day before.

Dean, who was already having trouble resisting the need to shove himself between your thighs, briefly closed his eyes to gather himself. He didn't intend to do it. Well, for the time being. He moved slightly away to look at you. You were staring at him with such tenderness and love that Dean momentarily stopped breathing. You placed both of your hands from his arms to his neck and shifted your head slightly to signal him to come closer.

Without hesitation, he put his hands around your upper thigh and squeezed it tightly while giving your burning lips another intense kiss. His painful erection was going to take over his body and take over his entire being. He was losing control of himself because of your tender hands on his neck, your fingers following the veins there, your passionate kisses, the tiny moans on his lips, and your tiny movements beneath him. Dean began sucking your bottom lip as you did the same for his top lip after he gave you a gentle squeeze on your thigh to help himself relax.

You eagerly awaited him to place himself between your legs, but Dean seemed to be holding himself back by declining to initiate contact. You hesitated a bit, moved slightly beneath him, and lifted your hips without breaking the kiss, putting one of your hands on his back after gasping at how hard he was. You couldn't keep your hips in the air for very long, so you needed him to pin you down on the bed.

“Dean,” you moaned at last, unsure of how to ask without coming out as desperate.

When Dean heard your tiny moan and his name on your lips, he caught them again to stop you from pleading for more. He wasn't sure how long he could hold back from you. Of course, it wasn't the right moment, but you two were acting too eager to make him think properly. Dean wanted you to know how much you were hardening him with your kisses when he finally placed himself between your legs. After feeling his hardness on your clothed pussy, you moaned into his lips and carefully put one hand beneath his t-shirt to touch his stiff abs.

In order to give you the friction you wanted, Dean grabbed your hips and abruptly pressed himself between your legs, rubbing harder on your pussy. He was ready to strip you right away and shove his cock inside when he felt his body tense beneath your touch. That's not the proper moment, he reminded himself.

Dean moaned against your lips, “We need to calm,” but his body betrayed him, and he kept stroking himself frantically between your legs while stealing little moans from your lips. You were going crazy because of an unsolved pressure between your legs.

You asked innocently, perplexed by Dean's choice to not go all the way, “Why?” Didn't your kisses enough as a response to all that was going on? Your body didn't listen to him at all.

“We don't have to rush things,” he whispered into your mouth. Your lips were swollen and red. But you weren't being stopped.

Even though he was telling you that you didn't need to make any funny business right now, his body was telling you otherwise. In the hopes that Dean might change his mind, you instantly returned Dean's kisses. The idea of becoming something with him and the closeness of his touch sent your pulse pounding with thrill and happiness.

Although Dean's pulsating manhood was screaming for him to act at once, he maintained his composure. He was adamant about doing things correctly and decided not to shove inside of you by lowering your underwear. Instead, he drew himself back a bit and rubbed your clothed pussy through your pajamas to offer you that little ecstasy and calm your body's desires. He touched you gently there, and you immediately gasped with anticipation. Dean closely observed your facial expressions to determine if you were at ease or not. The corner of his lips twisted into a little smile once he was certain that, based on your pleased look, you were perfectly at ease with his touch.

Your pajamas' thin fabric allowed you to feel his large fingers there, slowly following the line of your pussy through it. You let out a little groan and raised your hips higher in order to establish rhythm. You bit your lip to avoid moaning aloud and demonstrating how desperate you already were. It was insufficient to provide you with the same pleasure he had bestowed upon you weeks before. You needed him to touch you there without any fabric between you.

You pleaded with yearning eyes, “Dean, please,” as your hand moved from his tempting abs to his arms, which were massaging you in that precise spot. Dean tormented you as his lips curved with delight and his motions grew even slower, as if he wanted you to beg for more once again. You showed your desire for him by raising your hips again.

“Is that not enough? Do you want more?”

“Yes,” you said, your cheeks flaming with embarrassment at how needy you were already under him while he was in control of his own body, unlike you.

Dean kept his motions steady while you pleaded with him with your eyes and words, looking at your lovely figure underneath him, your messy hair, and your exquisite scent to appreciate the moment more. You hesitate a moment before placing your shaky hands between his legs. You were simply touching and blinking your eyes while you examined his reaction. You weren't palming his erection, but just touching. It would have been so simple for him to thrust himself inside you at this very moment by lowering your underwear. Dean knew he needed to wait a little longer to make the sex flawless, as you deserved, even if he was on the verge of bursting due to the intense closeness he shared with you.

Under your gentle hands, he felt hard and heavy. You wondered why he hadn't already made a move. You didn't have to wait for anything. Dean couldn't help but groan in desire and thrust himself into your hand with a sudden motion that made you gasp in excitement. You were getting wetter by the sounds he let out than he made you with his fingers. His rough, lustful sounds were filling your heart with joy. You wanted him to see how much you wanted to make him feel the same things and to express your deep love for him.

Encouraged by the way he responded to your touch, you squeezed him firmly through his sweatpants, tightening your grip until he shivered and groaned deeply over you. Making him feel this way filled your heart with fulfillment, resulting in your heart racing madly on your chest. Right now, you could do anything he wanted.

Dean's hands grabbed the soft one that was massaging him there and put it behind his back so he wouldn't lose himself entirely. You gave him a perplexed expression. “We will not rush, alright?” he said after kissing you firmly on the lips.

You mumbled, “Fine,” not happy with his answer. You didn't want to appear overly eager, but it appeared that you were not successful. At the very least, you prayed he wouldn't stop rubbing you there.

“I'll give you what you need.”

When Dean dropped your sweatpants and underwear to reveal your dripping pussy to him, a little grin faded from your lips and was replaced by shock. While he was doing this, he continued to gaze at you, analyzing every facial expression to see whether you were actually comfortable. Even if he wouldn't fuck you right now, he would not leave you like this, unsatisfied.

You bit your lips in anticipation as you rested your hands on his back, your knees shaking with enthusiasm. With a little smirk, Dean said, “I wonder if it's wet there.” To lighten the mood, he teased you even though he knew he would find you drenched.

“Yeah, me too,” you said with a little smile, but the way he massaged your thighs extremely slowly, as though to drive you insane, made your legs tremble.

You groaned against his lips as soon as he palmed your pussy to determine your level of wetness. You were certain that your underwear must have been ruined since his fingers moved so effortlessly between your pussy lips. Although Dean was aware that you were leaking there, he was not expecting you to be this soaked. His cock begged to be released as it throbbed against boxers once more. He could slide into you without even making you come. You bit your lip hard as Dean's playful smile changed to one of seriousness and he inserted a finger abrubtly.

Dean moaned as he inserted his finger all the way inside of you, saying, “You feel so tight, so nice.” His praises made you feel at ease and prepared to take in everything he had in store for you. It wouldn't be hard for you to take him if he simply shoved himself into you now, lowering his boxers.

Whispering, “Just for you,” you placed your hands on his neck and ran them over his skin.

He smiled, and his pulse raced with delight at your response. He felt cherished and loved for based on the astounding compassion and affection in your hands. Dean wanted you to surrender yourself to him completely, given that he knew he desired you in every way.

You moaned into Dean's mouth just as he pressed his lips to yours and started to finger you properly, overjoyed by your response. Inside your lips, he hushed his own groans, although he struggled to maintain his composure. Dean was going crazy because of the way you touched his neck and drew him in closer to your mouth. You moaned loudly into Dean's lips as he pushed a second finger. His cock was pulsing with every sound you made now, because you used to be a bit quiet weeks earlier. He enjoyed the fact that while you were laying under him, at his mercy, you were unable to stop your moaning.

You gave him frantic kisses in return, as the pleasure he was giving you caused your walls to tighten around his fingers inside of you. His fingers worked in sync with his tongue in your mouth. You drew back and let out a loud gasp as your head hit the pillow and your back arched as Dean expertly worked with your clit with his thumb and curled his fingers.

He started to finger you more roughly after hearing your desperate moan. He was also biting and sucking your neck wildly, making marks there as if he intended to mark you as his.

He groaned, sensing that you were getting closer. “Do you want me to make you come?” You were failing, but you were holding back in order to prevent yourself from coming too quickly.

You pleaded, “Please, Dean,” sensing that you were getting close. Your body yearned for release, but you didn't want it to stop.

As his meaty fingers continued to torture you with pleasure, he moaned against your lips, “Will you take whatever I give you?”

“I will,” you said hurriedly. “Always.”

“That's my girl,” Dean praised you again and kissed you, his fingers moving more strongly inside you. You moaned loudly as you came around his meaty fingers when he curled them again and hit the perfect spot. You were unable to remain silent any longer due to the intensity of your orgasm. As he absorbed the screams you produced into his mouth, your legs were trembling and your pussy was throbbing.

Dean's other hand aggressively squeezed one of your tits through your t-shirt before placing it beneath your chin before his kisses became softer and relaxed as the effects of your orgasm wore away. This time, as you came to your senses, Dean gave you a very delicate, warm kiss and carefully lifted up your sweatpants and underwear.

The sensation of his smile on your lips made you smile too. Each part of your existence was at ease now. Though shyness started surfacing, that was the most amazing and intense thing you have ever experienced—not hurried, not in quiet, not in the darkness in any way—Dean was aware of the love you had for him and could now see you in the light of day in every possible way imaginable. You sighed with happiness as he withdrew; you could kiss him indefinitely, even if both of your lips were burning.

“You okay?” Taking you into his arms on the bed, Dean asked, panting heavily himself. He still had a noticeable erection, but you could see he wasn't going to go all the way just yet. That was very unfortunate.

With your head resting on his chest and your cheeks heating, you responded, “Very much,” putting your palm to your lips, not looking too cheerful or excited.

Dean was relieved to see you relaxed and doing much better than you had yesterday. Even though his erection still hurt in his sweatpants, he didn't care about it anymore. He embraced you more tightly and made his mind that he was excited to see whatever the future held for you. Dean was struck by the way his heart pounded while you were still panting heavily like a leaf in his arms. The feeling itself was something he didn't want to lose.

After such agonizing weeks, you were now lying on top of him again, closing your eyes this time to savor the precious moment. He didn't say the same three words to you, which you didn't expect already because it wasn't that significant. He had already done so for you; you were truly touched by his kindness, his care for you last night, and—above all—the way he expressed himself via the actions he took. You were fine with using the same three words over and over again. You merely wanted that he never depart from you and continue to care for you in this way.

Dean's phone began to ring shortly after you woke up. You two had to go back to sleep. You didn't have the energy to get up, even though his phone kept ringing. This is how you could sleep forever. Even though your back pain was almost gone, you still wanted to take a little more time to just unwind. You would never again work so hard.

After gently placing you on your side on the cushions, Dean climbed across your body to retrieve his phone from the table next to the bed. Your slumber began to wane as soon as you felt his weight on you, and you yawned and slowly opened your eyes. Dean grumbled and eventually picked up his phone. “Sorry,” he said.

“What happened?” you said, wiping your eyes as you wrapped blankets over your cold body. Your body tenses up at the sound of Sam's voice, and you instantly shut your mouth. Your cheeks flushed at the thought of being heard by him. Dean offered you a wink and a side smile as he listened to Sam, finding your silence cute.

When Sam heard a drowsy voice on the phone, he blinks. All of a sudden, he lost his words. With a bewildered tone, he said, “Are you with Y/N?” He was shocked to learn that Dean met you after spending much of his time in front of the mirror. He was plainly mistaken when he believed his older brother had spent the night with someone else.

“Yeah,” he said. Sam rolled his eyes, but he was unable to contain his chuckle at his brother's haughty and joyful tone.

“You know I can't deal with all the shit out here myself, right?” Sam sighed and asked. He had to ruin your moment even if he didn't want to. Sam pondered whether you two had started dating.

Sam actually pictured you and Robb together because you both had long-standing friendships and similar occupations in the same area. He was unaware that his brother was already eyeing you, and vice versa. He couldn't see the big picture given that he was blind. He heard Dean sigh heavily as Sam went on with the problems he and his brothers had to deal with.

He eventually responded, “Alright, alright, Sam,” in a composed tone. “On my way.”

Since Sam's wounds were still fresh and he needed to take care of himself, you questioned, “Is everything alright?” worried that something had happened to him.

“It's nothing.” Dean stretched his muscles and looked at your body. “He's just being whiny about dealing with werepires, witches, and other strange things without me.”

You shifted on the bed and said, “You both are still wounded,” as Dean stood up and began stripping in front of you to change. You instantly looked down at the bed, embarrassed that you didn't know how to react when he stripped in front of you. You doubted Dean was feeling bashful about the sudden thickening of the air.

“It's alright,” he calmly said. He looked to see whether you had been watching him, but he saw that you were fiddling with the sheets. “Just regular things.”

You realized that you had never seen each other truly naked since the first time, when you were both wearing costumes and it was dark, when you heard him take off his t-shirt. You have never laid eyes on each other's bodies properly in daylight. You felt nervous at the idea. There were moments when you could see his muscles in the upper body or when he was hurt in his belly, but you didn't glance elsewhere except at his wounds to avoid taking advantage of the circumstance. But now you wanted to see him.

“You missed the whole show, I'm just saying.” As he grabbed and put on his shirt and jeans, Dean winked.

“Is there anything I can do?” you said, smiling slightly at him.

“There is, indeed. Just have your breakfast, remember to take your medicine, and get more sleep. In order for us to have the dinner that we discussed outside tonight, you must regain your strength, okay? So that's the best you can do at the moment.” Dean's tone was quite serious. He was ready to leave. He didn't stay a little longer so you could have breakfast together, which made you a bit upset. But you were satisfied with what you had. Everything that had happened since yesterday night was beyond comprehension, and it was already too much.

You nodded and watched him adjust his clothes again before you got out of bed. “Okay,” you said. You needed a second shower.

You both gazed at each other anxiously, unsure of what to do. Awkwardness suffused the atmosphere. You didn't know what to say to break off the silence since you weren't sure what you two were exactly. Dean just had a similar expression to yours when he glanced at you. “Say hi to Sam from me,” you finally said, but you cringed at your own words.

Dean gave you a strange look as you waited anxiously after he got his phone and put everything else in his pockets and then examined his clothes. “Alright,” he muttered back.

Disturbed by his own strange actions, Dean gathered himself and confidently walked up to you, kissing you on the lips. From the way your lips became crimson and warm, he realized how much he really liked kissing you. The kiss was enhanced by your nervousness, and the way you react to him with the same fervor was adorable. Dean hoped his actions spoke louder than words, although he didn't put it into words. He thought you wouldn't be into the friends with benefits thing, which he wasn't into either, obviously, not with you.

When Dean withdrew after the firm kiss that had warmed your heart, you glanced at his bandaged hand again to make sure he was okay. As you carefully examined his hand and gave it a mild massage, he stated, "You're not going to work today, right?"

“No way.”

“Good.” Dean said, “Just have some rest,” taking your hands in his. “I'll call you when I'm done.”

“Okay. Tell Sam to take care of his wounds. He must also get plenty of rest in order to recover rapidly.”

Dean added hastily, “Don't worry about that,” and then he was gone.

You exhaled deeply as soon as he left your house, and your palm paused on your chest to listen to your heartbeat. You were astonishingly well, as if you weren't even sick, in contrast to yesterday. You felt as though a lot of energy had been poured into your soul, and you smiled broadly to yourself. You considered every aspect of your time with Dean as you prepared a delicious breakfast for yourself to further savor the experience. You reminisced on how he touched, kissed, hugged, and cared for you. No one could have touched you the way he had.

Remembering how he wanted to go farther with you and how you couldn't stop moving when cutting a tomato, you giggled this time. Though you felt awful about it yesterday since it made you sick and you thought it wrecked everything, you were happy with your declaration of love. You could speak those three magical words into his ear forever.

As you considered what to wear, you thought about what dinner you would be having this evening. Since you were either at work or chasing ghosts or monsters with him, you were never able to wear the outfits you bought when you fell in love with him months ago. It appeared like you were going to spend those hours contemplating what to wear and other things until Dean gave you a call.

When Dean called and said he would be there in fifteen minutes, you were so preoccupied with what to wear and worried that it would be too much to put on a dress that you took your head between your hands, powerless to act, helpless. You had plenty of time to think things through, yet you were unable to effectively manage the time you had. Choosing the most modest of them, you brushed your hair aggressively and quickly. You wish you were as fast as you were at the hospital.

Dean was patiently waiting for you while leaning back against his car and placing his hands on his chest. Since he had left your house, he had been thinking about you, which was causing him a little stress at the moment. He wanted to proceed with things as you deserved. Sam, you, and him spent a lot of time together, but this time, going out with you was different. That meant something, even though you didn't say as much to each other. It was your first date.

Dean shifted into a more relaxed stance, clearing his throat and placing his hands in his pockets. He stopped resting back against his car and smiled at your delighted figure as soon as you opened the door. You appeared little beneath your oversized jacket as you drew near.

You walked up to him and said, “Sorry, Dean,” in an apologetic manner. You attempted to be calm so that you wouldn't be distracted by his attractive, lengthy form. “Have you been waiting for long?” He looked awfully good.

As soon as Dean responded, “No, I just...” Your legs were already trembling a little, so you hurriedly opened the door yourself without waiting for him to do it for you or at least give you a hug. Confusion seized Dean's lips as he carefully closed the door. Your excitement and hasty movements made him smile and shake his head.

In order to avoid becoming chilly and ruining your entire week, you were clinging to your large brown vintage jacket. “How is your hand feeling now?” you asked in a tone of concern as soon as Dean put his bandaged hand on the steering wheel. You saw that the bandage had previously been renewed.

Dean chuckled and stretched his fingers to indicate that he was okay. “Yeah, it is,” he responded. “Have you rested enough?”

“Yes, I've got better. I suppose it was all due to my extreme tiredness.” You looked at his flawless side profile and murmured again, “Thank you, Dean. For taking care of me, for making me feel better.”

Dean winked at you and replied, “Don't mention it,” pleased that you told him he did well. “My pleasure.”

In contrast to what you expected, Dean sat down next to you rather than across from you when you first got to the location where you, Ruby, Sam, and Dean occasionally hung out. Since it was already heated inside, you hurriedly removed your jacket. Your big brown jacket and long dark green dress must have made you appear a bit silly.

In order to avoid giving himself a hard time, Dean moved his eyes away after he realized they were locked onto your deep, delicious cleavage. His wicked eyes were literally twitching due to your skin, and his brain was sending messages all the way between his legs. His nose was flooded with your delicate scent as soon as you removed your jacket. Your skin and the way you looked in general were flawless. Dean moved slightly in the seat and pressed his hand on the head of your seat. When Dean stated, “It's pretty cold outside nowadays; you must be very careful,” you were reminded of your sickness.

You murmured, “It's actually quite hot inside.” No matter what Dean thought, you probably wouldn't take off your jacket if it got even a little cold since you've never cherished cold weather.

"Oh, yeah?” Dean said with a chuckle, wetting his lips and arching his eyebrows. He became aware that he had never previously seen you wearing a dress like this. Dean's heart melted as you smiled tenderly at him, and he couldn't resist gently touching your arms.

You shuddered a little at Dean's abrupt, gentle touch on your arm and teased him, “Plus, you would be there to take care of me, right?” It should be illegal since he looked so handsome.

Dean said, delighted by your playful behavior, “Seems like someone got used to being taken care of already.”

Your heart began to behave normally around him as the tension between you lessened, even if you were still a little anxious. You told Dean about your college days and the times you witnessed the most ridiculous and absurd patients you saw in the hospital while you were eating dinner in peace. Dean also talked about the old, bittersweet days with Sam, which melted your heart. You told him everything good about him when he got a little critical of himself.

Fortunately, Dean showed consideration by not inquiring about your confession, your feelings for him, or the precise beginning of your feelings. You would feel quite uneasy and less confident because of it. The date was really different, yet it was also just like every other lovely time with him. There were situations when you both couldn't stop touching one another while chatting.

It was difficult to resist touching him. You were already accustomed to that as well. Dean's kind and passionate strokes had already become addictive to your body. It went really well, even though you thought it may have gone a little worse because of the anxiety you had been feeling. At the beginning, you were somewhat too shy, but Dean helped you start acting more like yourself.

You didn't even notice how quickly the time went by since you were eating a meal side by side and touching each other while you chatted and revealed more intimate details about lives. Dean's smile was contagious, and you felt your heart skip a beat when you saw how joyful and natural he was. His demeanor also inspired you to speak even more. It was already midnight.

The physical distance between you as he drove was a bit agonizing, as you had become used to spending hours sitting by his side. You wanted to be close to each other to forget about the times you were apart, and you were basically free to touch each other as you wanted. When Dean called your name, you leaped. Dean halted the car, but you were unaware that you had arrived.

“That was a very enjoyable night,” you said timidly, looking out and unsure of what to say. “Thanks for the dinner.”

You waited for his answer while licking your lips. You smiled sincerely at him and idly fiddled with the hanger of your shoulder bag. Dean's mouth opened, but he seemed to be looking at you as if he were pondering what exactly to say at this moment. He gave you the kind of glance that made him look as if he wanted to pause time and enjoy this sincere moment.

“My pleasure. I had a great time,” he added, grinning at you. Abruptly, “Are you working tomorrow?” he said.

“No,” you shook your head in response. “I'll be off from work for at least three more days. I informed them that I was still feeling bad and somewhat worn out.”

Dean exhaled a sigh of relief. He was already planning new activities to do while he was with you. Most significantly, you needed some downtime after working nonstop due to him. He wanted to take responsibility and put things right. Dean wanted to make you happy, sort things out, and start something fresh with you, not to relieve himself.

“Yeah,” you nodded quickly to him while you kept chewing your inner cheeks. It wasn't out of the ordinary for you to want to bring him inside. However, things had changed, and you were unsure of how to behave or what to say. He had you at his mercy.

As you were about to bid farewell before heading away, Dean's fingers reached your neck, and his lips captured yours. In response to his gentle kisses, you eagerly parted your lips and let him in. Your hand dropped to his chest as you let your bag drop to your feet, only feeling his heartbeat against your palm.

His kisses were gentle and soft at first, but you were unable to suppress your need and want for him, so they became urgent and mirrored your hunger. You were reluctant about leaving. You wished he would stay. You whimpered into his lips as your hand moved from his chest to his thick neck. Dean's gentle kisses quickly became intense. He was now giving you fierce kisses in return for your urgent ones. You were kissing each other like you've never kissed before.

His low growl made your heart race as you moaned into his mouth as he bit and sucked your lips. With a swift movement, Dean's injured hand grabbed your ass and moved your body into his seat, on his lap. Watching you between his legs caused him to groan. Dean was even harder since he was aware of his impact on you.

As Dean touched your legs through your long dress, you pulled back to catch your breath. You could already feel your pussy contracting with anticipation. Your entire body yearned for him. You looked him in the eye when you licked your swollen lips while placing your hands on either side of his face. Dean smiled at you to gauge your response, and it was warm and delightful. Through his jeans, you could feel his dick throbbing beneath you.

He had been encouraged to continue by the passion and affection he saw in your eyes, and as his hands began lifting your dress, you shivered with impatience. He moved steadily and slowly. After all, you had plenty of time to enjoy each other.

You were seated on his lap, rubbing your covered pussy against his cock as soon as he raised up your dress. Your heart was pounding wildly. You already knew you were ruined there already. “Dean,” you whimpered desperately. You hoped he wouldn't leave you like this.

He grinned victoriously at how much you desired him and how dependent you were on him. You stared at him and said his name with love and affection, and it wasn't simply a simple sexual yearning. Dean's heart pulsed blissfully into his chest. He longed to be loved and wanted by you. He intended to provide for all of your needs.

“What do you want me to do?” While his wounded had been waiting on your hip, Dean asked on your lips. Then he softly stroked one of your tits and squeezed it firmly.

While he waited for an answer, Dean gasped in surprise and confusion as you bit your lip and abruptly rubbed yourself on his hard cock. Dean's lips twisted into a little, sly smile. His injured hand remained on your underwear, helping you to move on him while the other hand kept pressing and kneading your breast through your clothes.

Dean's gaze was fixed on your cleavage as you kept rubbing yourself on his cock slowly so that neither of you would finish too soon and you could savor the moment. You pressed closer to his hands and watched the driven expression in his eyes. As his hand moved into your cleavage exposed your breast, squeezing your stiffened nipple, Dean checked your face to make sure you were completely well. You moaned a little louder this time because of the way he rubbed his thumb on your breast.

In order to establish a rhythm with you, Dean lifted his hip a little higher and started to suck your breast into his lips extremely aggressively once his mouth approached your nipple. “Ah, Dean!” you moaned, pressing yourself into his lips and nailing his shoulders.

Dean slowed his passionate kisses and then stopped, laying his head on your chest and panting heavily, just as you were ready to lose yourself on him. You whimpered as you felt him pull out his thick fingers. You had not finished yet. Was he unaware? He raised his head to meet your startled look as he planted a very gentle kiss on your bare chest. He knew you would do anything for him at this moment, didn't he?

He was completely hard, hurting down below, watching you lose yourself on his lap while wearing this outfit. Dean wanted you to ride him till he released his ropes inside you right now in Baby. Badly.

However, he needed to know that pleasure and desire weren't the backbone of what you were doing. He needed to express his affection and respect for you, even though it was obvious that you were desperate for any physical contact, and it was driving him insane. He needed you to see how gentle and caring he was toward you. He desired to offer you all that you had given him.

Dean replied, “Not now, sweetheart,” and put his hands behind your back, basically offering you a hug as you were lying on top of him, half-naked and in need. Dean kissed you on the shoulders and adjusted your dress.

You said, unhappy that you had been pushing this off since the morning, “Why not?” You felt okay with it. “Because of your hand?”

When Dean saw that you were being serious, he couldn't stop laughing. As though his cock would stop because his hand was simply injured a little. “Not because of my hand obviously,” Dean remarked. “Like I said, we don't have to rush things, alright?”

“But we've already done it.” You moaned, not pleased with his response, “Twice.” You didn't want to come out as so desperate, but you were no longer bashful.

“Someone is impatient, huh?” With a groan, Dean's hands traveled along your back.

Dean kissed your forehead firmly and then gently put you back in your seat, placing his hand beneath your chin. “All I want to do is make everything perfect because you deserve it. I don't want you to believe that we are only having sex out of passion. That is never the case.”

You replied swiftly, “It already is flawless,” and his comments made your heart sink. He was being so honest about your relationship for the first time, and you forgot about everything else when he acknowledged how much he cared for you. “I would never think otherwise.”

Looking at his hand, you timidly said, “But if you want, you can come inside," before the stillness deepened. “I can check out your bandages.”

Dean teased, “Thought you wouldn't be working for some time.” Before you grabbed your bag and opened the door, you looked at his hand and arched an eyebrow.

With the same humorous tone, you added, “Just because I pity you right now, Mr. Winchester,” before grinning broadly and closing the door on his face while you waited for him to follow you.

Fortunately, Dean used his keys to open the door when you noticed you had left yours inside. He continued making fun of how thrilled you must have been about your little date. You were overjoyed that you kept assuring him it wasn't. Dean wasn't convinced.

You swiftly got what you needed from the restroom as Dean grunted and sat down on the coach. As soon as you sat down next to him and got the fresh bandages ready, you saw that Dean was looking at you with such a lovely expression that you instantly smiled back. Right now, you must have been thinking the same thing. You remembered the night when he took you in this coach without even knowing how much you loved him.

Even though it was completely dark and you couldn't see each other at the time, you knew you were seeing each other in every manner now. It was spiritually as well as physically. Dean was unaware of your love for him at the time, but he now acknowledged your true feelings for him. Your want to be with him was obvious to him. Before you began to remove his bandages, you placed his hand in his palm and gave it a very gentle kiss that caused his eyes to widen in wonder. That moment filled your heart with so much love and powerful sensations. You hoped you could make him realize how much you valued that moment and how much you admired him.

Dean offered you the same caring kiss while placing his hand under your chin, understanding what you were thinking. It was just lovely; it had nothing sexual about it. Dean cracked a smile and said, “Deja vu, huh?” as he drew back.

“It's like yesterday. Time flies,” you whispered as you carefully cared for him, taking care not to hurt him.

Dean remarked regretfully, “I wish I knew,” which caused you to pause. “I would make it perfect, you know, rather than being quick and doing it on a coach in darkness.”

His words instantly made you blush. “It's not important, I told you already,” not pleased that he was still feeling this way. “I'm just glad it was you, Dean.”

“Well, I'm glad about that too.” Seeing that you were still obstinate about it, Dean also sighed.

When you are done, you exhale deeply and place everything on the table after gently looking to his wounded hand. Without wasting any time, Dean embraced you and made you giggle with a playful animal growl he made. He placed a cushion beneath his head and made your body lie on him, as if reenacting the scenario, and now he was lying on the coach. You shifted on Dean a little as he gave you a strong hug that seemed like he would never let you go.

He was surprised by the way you gazed at him. Dean closed his eyes as though in anguish and melted into your touch just as you softly placed one of your palms on his cheek. After seeing his face, you placed your head on his chest in joy, delighted by the way strongly his hands wrapped around you. Dean had no idea when you had begun to affect him in this way. Your touch made him feel so hungry and desperate that he was on the verge of letting out a defeated sigh and asking for more.

As you leaned on his body on your coach, you both glanced at one another without exchanging words. Your eyes brightened as Dean took your hand in his and gently caressed your fingers.

Feeling a little talkative, you asked, “Do you really want to sleep like this?”

“Why not?” Dean grinned right away, reminding you of that night to make you feel bashful. “It's not the first time after all.”

Even though your cheeks turned hot, you couldn't help but smile and ask playfully, “What if the electricity cuts out again? You know, we didn't change our clothes. It might be a little uncomfortable to sleep like this.”

Dean's eyes narrowed at your bold suggestion, and he licked his lips. “Well, if it does cut off, sweetheart, we won't need our clothes at all,” he said in a whisper in your ear while placing his finger beneath your chin. “Your attractive boyfriend will provide for all of your needs.”

By the time he finished his sentence, Dean had planted a kiss on your lips, and you were grinning uncontrollably into the gentle kiss while your heart was beating madly with joy. The scene was so exquisite that you nearly started crying. After Dean treated your wound, you were feeling much the same as when you slept with him in the same coach back in the day. Even though he had touched you, cured you, and taken care of your hand, something severely wounded and damaged your spirit that night without you even recognizing it. But now you felt entirely healed. Everything about Dean—his words, his kisses, his touch—healed you in the most exceptional way.

CLICK HERE FOR SPECIAL PART

THE END.

Author's Note: Hi there! Here we are. WASTE is the first Supernatural fiction I ever wrote and the first fic I completed. Fun fact: Although I am aware of all the spoilers, I have only seen the first six or seven episodes of Supernatural. I apologize if I wrote characters 'out of character' . As an asexual, writing romantic material was a little challenging, but please share your thoughts with me. Your feedback inspired me to write a +55K word count series. I WILL UPLOAD TWO OR THREE SPECIAL CHAPTERS! I'm not going to let this go just yet. Those chapters will be SMUTTY. Since this is my first complete series, please let me know what you think. I love you all!

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[thesilmarillionblog]

Hi lovee will there be an update to 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 soon? 🤞🤞🤞

Hello! 🥰

Yes, of course. I'm already working on Part 10. I will upload next week for sure. After posting my other series WASTE 's last part tomorrow or sunday and I'll focus on updating Remembrance regularly.

Love,

[thesilmarillionblog]

WICKED MIND ─ Dean Winchester

When he wakes up in the middle of the night, Dean can't resist masturbating while thinking about you.

+18! (Minors DNI), smut, male masturbation, wicked and dirty thoughts, kinky (it's just smut, sorry)

Word Count: 1187

A/N: English is not my first language. divider credit

Dean grumbled in frustration and opened his eyes again, unable to sleep well. He felt like a child who was struggling to fall asleep. It was an unbelievable agony to be so exhausted and yet be unable to sleep. Since he was busy with practically everything every day and coping with every bizarre one, he was positive that his body screamed for some rest.

It was about three in the morning when he looked at the clock. God. His eyes burned. Throughout his thirty-five years of life, Dean had never experienced insomnia, but now he did.

When an idea struck his head, he scowled. Years had passed since he'd jerked off to quickly fall asleep. Dean was unable to stop thinking about how terrific it felt. Why not? He had read and understood his body to help his eyes get the rest they required, and he didn't have drugs to use at the moment. Moreover, he hadn't gotten off for fun in quite some time. These days, Dean's sexual life is actually active, and he hasn't needed to help himself lately. 

Plain and simple, things had changed. It would be just to get some sleep. Nothing more. To tell himself that he didn't like helping himself would be a lie. It was always enjoyable.

After inhaling deeply, Dean moved the blanket away from his body and slightly lowered his boxers to reveal his partially hard cock. He assumed that he might not be able to sleep because of his cock. It didn't matter though. Now he would take care of this. 

Dean spat in his palm, then wrapped his cock with his rough fingers. His head turned to his cock, and his abs tightened. He licked his lips and started pumping himself, eager to get it done very quickly. His thoughts were instantly filled with pictures of you as he stroked his cock. 'Fuck' he thought to himself. Now, that was unexpected.

Realizing it would be tougher than he had anticipated, he spit into his hand a little more before tightening his fingers around his cock. He had a cock that was hard enough to keep him awake, but it was clearly stubborn. Come. On. Dean's thumb stroked his already hard cock's purple head as he bit his lips fiercely. He was now about completely erect. Almost.

He was taking heavy breaths, nearly grunting, as his mind started to play games on him. Dean couldn't stop picturing your ass and physique. It was difficult to not notice or forget the picture of you playing 8-ball pool yesterday. You looked lovely there.

It was enough to make his cock completely hard. Just think about how you bent before you took your shot and how the stick waited between your fingers. 

When Dean could no longer resist his demons, he gave up and allowed his thoughts to take control, concentrating on the pictures that were racing through his head. At that point, it didn't matter how awesome his hookups were. There was something unique about the way your ass appeared as you bent your body. Perhaps it was because the two of you were simply buddies. It was Fobbiden's thrill that made him feel like this. After all, the forbidden always tasted delicious. 

Dean considered lifting your dress up and putting your underwear aside. What color would you be wearing? Most likely green or pink. After all, you were fond of pastel colors. Pink would be preferable. 

As he visualized your pussy, his fingers tightened around his aching cock harsher. Dean had no doubt that you would take him well. However, he would make sure you sucked him well before giving you a hard fuck on the table. God. It would look great with your little mouth around his cock. He heaved his balls after groaning as his thumb continued to touch his cock's head and lingered around the thick veins. Dean grunted while he drifted off into his own thoughts. Whether that was the appropriate thing to do or not didn't matter to him. 

He needed that.

You would get moist there from the way he would fuck your mouth and throat. He would spill against your face and throat since he knew you would also like finishing him off and tasting him. He would push your head to his cock and put his hands behind your hair to make you give him all of your attention. He knew that you could take him all. You would moan around the head, suck the salty cum, and swirl your tongue around it. Fuck. Dean imagined fucking your face with both hands behind your head. As he pictured how he would handle your lovely mouth, he was firmly biting his lips.

The obscene sounds his hand made while he beat his cock were driving him insane. He knew he could hear the similar sounds once he started to fuck you raw and his heavy balls hit your pussy from behind.

He was average there—not very long. However, he was sufficiently thick, which was something of which he was proud. His cock was fat and heavy. Dean imagined your walls constricting around him. 

He slowed his hand to extend the process and enjoy a little extra fun just as he was getting close. He swiftly grabbed his phone and opened one of your photos. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, but fuck it. No one would know, and there was no way of going back. As soon as he was asleep, he would forget about it. 

When Dean saw one of your 8-ball pool pictures, he let out an uncontrollable groan. "Fuck," he said. When you played it, you looked beautiful. He looked at your ass and concentrated on the way you bowed. Grasping the back of your neck on the table, he would swiftly and aggressively fuck you while placing his hands around your hips and pounding hard into your tiny pussy. 

Dean spat his palm again, and his motions became more intense and faster. He was staring at your photo as he groaned; he was thrusting into his hands rough. He whispered, “Good girl,” unable to stop talking this time. 

"I'll fuck you so good, fuck your tiny pussy against that table so fucking good... Fuck. Take me." 

He should be ashamed for acting in such a way. But he was absorbed in the right now. Dean knew he was about to finish because his cock was throbbing now. “Let me fill you; let me come inside you, baby.”

As he continued to stare at your photo, Dean's cock began to throb, and he felt the hot ropes against his bare chest and hands. In order to make sure there was nothing left in his hefty balls, he continued to stroke himself while groaning. Then, enjoying the experience, he set his phone aside and stoked himself a bit more. When he was done, shame was starting to rise, but he made an effort to dismiss it. Dean stared over his chest, panting fiercely. His entire body was covered with his hot white ropes.

He was a mess.

AN: SOrry. Let me know what you think loll

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[thesilmarillionblog]

May i pls be tagged for dean winchester x reader?

Of course 🥰

[thesilmarillionblog]

WITH YOU, FOREVER

Soldier Boy x Reader

soldier boy being a baby boy dad, mommy reader, fluff, sweet, breastfeeding, baby boi is a supe, protective soldier boy, soft

Word Count: 3515

A/N: English is not my first language.

You can read this one-shot as my other work ANOTHER LIFE's sequel. But you don't have to read it if you don't want to.

While you were busy making dinner, you watched your little son, Jake, who was deeply interested in the TV cartoon and making noises that seemed to be a sign he was trying to communicate with the characters. You made an effort to get his attention, smiling to yourself, but he didn't look at you.

You and Ben thought that it would be best for you to take a break from work for a while because you had just given birth to him seven months ago, which was really difficult to endure, and you were still recovering. Actually, you almost died in childbirth. Thus, you had no intention of working for a while. Ben was happy when you informed him that you weren't willing to go back to work. You didn't have that energy. Furthermore, your only thought was to care for your infant right now. Additionally, you were advised to take a lot of rest, so you didn't voice any complaints about it.

Of course, if your son weren't as supe as his father, caring for him would be simpler. To your surprise, though, he hasn't displayed any signs of immense strength since birth. Still, you had no idea how to deal with him if his abilities suddenly surfaced. The problem was that you couldn't give him breastfeeding properly. You were warned that he may unintentionally tear off your nipple in an attempt to obtain more milk. Jake was built different after all, and he needed more milk. Ben was there to comfort you and tell you that you were doing well, which was a relief as you felt depressed and you felt like you were already failing.

At first, you didn't like the idea of him being a supe, but now you were happy that he had his strength. You felt concerned every time he attempted to do something that would injure him, even though you knew you shouldn't be. Yet, you were still protective over him; there was no need to deny.

Ben, though, was different. He was always keeping an eye on him, and although Jake was enjoying himself with his small toys, Ben was prepared to step in if something went wrong. Ben was also quite cheerful and energetic after Jake was born. With all the work in Vought, he felt more at ease and less nervous. His happiness was apparent, especially since Jake was also full of energy. Jake handled Ben's supe strength pretty well whenever Ben challenged him a little. 

Of course, Jake became tired of his father's kisses and hugs at times. As if he were the infant, Ben demanded all of his attention to himself.

You had just finished setting the table when you heard Ben enter. He said, “Daddy's home,” grinning slyly. As soon as he planted a strong, powerful kiss on your lips, his powerful arms found your waist and pressed your body to his. His tongue instantly dominated yours, stopping you before you could protest about how late he was.

There were moments when you felt a bit uncomfortable with your postpartum weight, but Ben didn't care and, on the contrary, had been behaving more aroused lately. He always had his palms on your ass, just like now. It didn't hurt at all, but your ass had some bruises. In fact, watching Ben act a little kinky was thrilling. 

“It was so hectic today in Vought; I couldn't give you a proper call, you know,” he continued quickly, sounding apologetic. You crushed your body into his as his powerful hands continued to squeeze your ass. He muttered, “Do you have an idea how much I missed you?”

His hardness against his jeans was palpable. His energy for sex was something else too. You didn't have sex for three months after giving birth, which was an especially difficult period for Ben, even though he never complained. You knew he was kind of traumatized because he almost lost you. However, because you recovered and felt more comfortable lately, the sex was even better than it had been. Of course, it would be nice if Jake could sleep and let you have your fun. When you or Ben tried to put him to sleep, he was sort of battling with you. When Ben tried his hardest to put him to sleep, as if he understood his father's intention and wanted to get under his skin, you could tell he was really struggling to stay awake just to make his dad annoyed.

“I could tell something else missed me too,” you said with a chuckle.

Ben's smile turned into a smirk, but your gaze shifted to the floor before he could continue. Jake was so excited that he was muttering and using his little hands to pull Ben's pants. He had crawled swiftly because he was still unable to walk and was unable to stand without clinging to Ben's trousers.

Ben's smile widened when he kissed you firmly once again, and he lifted Jake off the ground with a growl, causing him to giggle as he kissed him on his tummy. “How's my strong little eagle doing, huh?” Ben inquired while continuing to attack Jake's stomach as he could see he was having so much fun.

Jake was feeling a little stressed these days because they couldn't spend much time together because Ben had been working so much. Ben and you both guessed that it must have something to do with the Supe thing. Considering his tiny fingers were on Ben's chest most of the time, Jake adored the warmth that came from it, and he was delighted when his father got to spend time with him. 

“Did you upset your mommy? No?” Ben asked, continuing to kiss him. 

You said, “He's been a little naughty today,” and removed his socks, nearly dropping them to the ground. Jake joyfully moved his legs in relief. 

You let out a sigh. “He really enjoys getting undressed. He obviously took that from you, Ben.”

Ben grinned proudly and said, “Of course he did,” in agreement. “Just like his daddy, he will be attractive, hot, and tough. Right?”

“Not with a massive ego like yours, hopefully.”

He kissed you again after giving you a little spank on the ass and telling you that you should be punished for saying that. Ben changed his clothes, and when he returned, he filled his glass with whiskey. You removed Jake from Ben's arms and used the baby's bottle to feed him while the three of you sat down at the table. As he ate the steak that was put in front of him, he kept playing with Jake's feet. When you asked Ben how things were doing with Butcher and Annie, Jake turned his mouth away and refused the bottle, making you inhale deeply.

With a heavy sigh, you both turned to face him and whispered, “Come on.” You struggled to feed him all day. “I know you are hungry.” 

Ben said, “Maybe he's full,” as he observed his son refusing to drink milk. 

“No way,” you replied, worried about Jake's discomfort, particularly today, because he didn't even drink from the bottle properly. “He's been like this for the last few days. Today, he's even more stubborn.”

Jake was alarmed a little between your arms when he scented the milk coming out of your breaths, just as Ben was going to propose that you try feeding him himself. Again, you were leaking. It felt as though milk filled your entire chest, even though you were continuously filling all the bottles. Given that Jake was a Supe baby and drank more milk than a typical baby, it was obviously a positive thing, but because he was acting this way in the final days, you began to leak, exactly like you did in the first few months.

Although you knew it was impossible, you still wanted to breastfeed him properly. Watching his little hands touch your breasts and watching him gaze at you expectantly hurt.

You pressed the tip of the bottle to his lips and said, "Come on," but Jake pulled his head away stubbornly.

His tiny fingers tugged your blouse between gentle mumbles, trying to free one of your milk-leaking breasts, giving you the signal. You were aware of the risks, so it was agonizing for you when his little fingers lingered on your blouse and his green eyes begged you. You already had a hard time rejecting him and giving him food from a bottle. With a sigh, you continued to gently press the bottle's tip on his lips.

When Ben noticed his son excitedly wiggling his feet and watching the milk drip from your breaths, he stopped eating and attempted to distract him by playing with his small hands while you battled to feed him. 

Ben finally remarked, “He wasn't like this before,” expressing surprise at his son's persistent attempts to grasp your nipple while lowering your blouse. 

“Yeah,” you answered startledly. “He wants the milk straight from the source nowadays.” 

Ben chuckled as Jake was able to lower your top and reveal one of your milk-filled tits, causing your baby's eyes to widen and his entire body to shift between your arms with excitement. His tiny lips curled into a joyful smile. 

After placing the bottle on the table, you inhaled deeply. He couldn't possibly drink from the bottle today. He was being far too grumpy and uncomfortable. Despite your slight fear—in fact, you were terrified—you muttered, “All right.” As you placed your hungry son properly between your arms, you added, “I suppose we'll give it a try, honey.”

“Hey,” Ben interrupted you abruptly in a harsh voice. “You're not doing this. We know the risks.”

When Jake heard his father's rough voice, he jumped a little in your arms, and his eyes began to well up with tears due to his stress. He was quite sensitive to Ben's reactions, even though he didn't understand at all. 

Ben tried not to sound angry or anything, and his big hands began to gently touch his cheeks as his gaze softened. He spoke as though Jake might understand him while he toyed with his tiny hands that were stroking your breast. “All right, let's stop hurting your mommy now. Be a good boy.”

Jake neglected Ben entirely and kept mumbling before turning his chin to your breast again. From now on, you knew he was going to reject the bottle. Ben sighed deeply and made a move to take him from your arms, but Jake's face reddened, and he started crying uncontrollably as soon as he was taken from your arms and he lost contact with your breast.

In between sweet words, Ben tried to feed him while holding onto the bottle. But Jake was much more irritated when he felt it on his lips again immediately after his rejections, and he swiftly pushed it away from Ben's hands, sending it falling to the ground with a sudden force that made you both freeze. He had displayed some power on other occasions, but not in a way like this. It was like he was challenging his daddy's strength.

You weren't first concerned about his unexpected strength because the loud noise made him cry much more. 

“What now?” Ben caressed his back in a hurry, attempting to soothe him. He knew that Jake's senses were just as sharp as his, and that your baby could sense the stress you were experiencing. He was crying as a result of both feeling nervous and not getting what he wanted.

You demanded, “Just give him to me,” as his sobbing became so intense that he was gasping for air. His face became so red that you stopped caring about the risks.

Ben unwillingly gave him up since he felt helpless, but his hands were cautious and prepared to take him away as you positioned Jake for a proper breastfeeding. Even if you wouldn't deny feeling a little frightened, you weren't able to ignore and hear his cries for milk. You had theories, but you didn't know why he had been acting this way lately.

Jake stopped crying when you offered him your nipple, which had begun to drip milk, after you took a long breath. His lips swiftly caught it, and you jerked a little in surprise, which also made him uneasy. If he hurt you, Ben's hands were on your chin, ready to stop him at any time. He was only drinking the milk as if he were starving. He didn't hurt you at all. His screams eventually became soft sobs. He kept sobbing some more while he sucked your nipple, but he got relaxed eventually hearing your sweet words and feeling your soft touch on his cheeks.

Ben finally exclaimed, “I don't understand,” as he watched in wonder as your baby strongly sucked milk from your nipple. He would claim that he was drinking milk for the first time in his eight months of existence if he didn't know how much he consumed in a day.

“You know, breastfeeding helps a baby and the mother to form a bond,” you said. “Maybe it's not about the milk.”

You couldn't help but feel depressed when you realized your baby was missing something. But it was calming enough to watch Jake relax and get drunk on your milk. Being the mother he needed from you was all you wanted. He expressed his needs even though he was still unable to speak. That was important.

Ben whispered, “Hey,” and kissed your forehead quickly as his hands waited on your baby's chest and chin. “You're doing perfectly. You already have a strong bond. Look at how much he loves you.” 

Jake's sucking stopped, and he mumbled a smile as though he knew what his dad was saying. Ben replied lightheartedly, “I swear, there was not a single teardrop on his eyes while he cried,” and then Ben laughed loudly. Jake lost his ability to suck for a second since he let out a tiny laughter as well, imitating his dad's laugh. 

Jake produced the same sound shortly after Ben's loud laugh, showing that he was having an awesome time. You both laughed when Ben gave him another hard kiss on the head because of the noise he made. Jake grew louder every time Ben spoke to him and played with his little hands and feet, as if he hadn't just been crying hysterically. 

You said, “It seems like you're not hungry anymore, sweetie,” and reached for your blouse, but Jake's lips instantly went to your nipple in a panic and continued to suck hard. 

Ben was delighted as he saw you breastfeed your little one. His brain was full of dirty things, but his heart was full of warmth and love. He sometimes sucked milk from your tits, but you pushed him away and reminded him that you didn't make the milk for him when he was acting aggressively and actually drained your soul from your tits. Now he had to share you with Jake, obviously, and his little son was kind of challenging him. As though he realized that all the milk and both tits were for him alone, his happy gaze never left Ben's. 

“You're trying to make me jealous, aren't you?” Ben whispered and placed one hand around your nipple, close to Jake's tiny mouth. 

When your son's hand immediately met Ben's, he made a sound of displeasure and pushed his father's hand away from your breast. His annoyed and jealous behavior made you laugh heartily. “You're right, sweetie, it's all yours,” you said, pushing Ben's hand away in support of your young son's struggle. “From now on, Daddy won't get any milk.”

“You know what?” As if to irritate your son, Ben smirked and caressed Jake's belly before planting a firm, wet kiss on your lips. “I'm going to suck all the milk tonight,” he muttered. “I'm not a very generous dad, am I?”

“I guess not.”

Ben licked his lips, and you could tell he wanted to take you by the shift in his eyes. The yearning and longing in his eyes were obvious without the use of words. You really needed him. Ben could sense that the way you smelt there. Actually, after your sex life returned to normal, you were feeling really horny, even though you weren't expressing it. Ben felt the same. But you couldn't do anything while Jake had his mind set on staying awake and made sure you and Ben didn't do any funny business.

Jake was upset when he didn't see you, and Ben was outraged when he heard Jake sobbing during the times he was literally inside of you. At these moments, Ben was acting like a child. You had to hold back your laughter when he had to stop between complaints due to Jake's sobbing, as though he was doing it on purpose. 

“It seems like you're not hungry anymore, sweetie,” you said, reaching for your blouse, but Jake's lips instantly went to your nipple in a panic and continued to suck strongly. But finally, his mouth stopped, and his eyes failed him as he fell asleep. He finally quit sucking. How much he could drink without stopping was incredible. 

“He sucked the life out of you,” Ben complained, being impatient already.

Ben grew impatient and complained about his son being a complete cockblocker since every time he tried to remove him from your arms to place him on his bed, his mouth automatically kept sucking your breast. After some while, he didn't want to drink anymore and put himself to sleep, which was a relief. You fixed your blouse while Ben gently lifted him out of your arms and carried him to his room. You felt a little at ease and joyful now, acknowledging Jake didn't hurt you at all, as though he was aware that you were fragile and he was afraid of hurting his mommy.

He was a sensitive, intelligent boy with a slight temper. Of course, mother is the source of intelligence. That was fortunate.

With a sigh of relief, you turned back to the coach and sat down, deciding to handle the kitchen later. Ben returned with careful steps and swiftly settled you on his lap. You gasped in astonishment since you didn't expect him to act so quickly. Even if your physique had changed a little, you were feeling better and more confident because he still loved and desired you.

You put your fingers on his neck and beard and inquired, laughing, “Is he asleep?”

Ben muttered, pressing your body against his hardness in order to show how ready he was to take you: “Yeah.” For a moment, his gaze softened. 

“You know, baby, you performed flawlessly there. Our supe baby is being breastfed with such confidence... It was such a beautiful moment.”

His compliments filled your heart with delight and satisfaction because you knew that now you were doing well and that your mother's instinct was right.

“Oh, yeah?” you said, grinning broadly at him. “How beautiful was I? You know, I'm not very good at making assumptions. You have to tell me.”

Ben's grin grew wide at your lighthearted demeanor, and he bit his lip as his thoughts were racing with filthy ideas of how many positions to take you in on the couch. “Well, I'm not good at forming words, but... so fucking much.”

As you kissed him, you both grinned at one another's mouths. You lovingly stroked his face and neck and said, “We are doing perfect, don't you think?” You were unable to stop touching one another.

Ben took a deep breath and kissed your shoulder while gently, firmly wrapping his powerful arms around your waist. “Just because you're perfect.” 

“Hey,” you murmured, taken aback by his lack of self-esteem at the time. “Without you, I couldn't possibly manage our tiny supe son. You're doing as well as I am. In this, we are on the same team, equal. However, in other places...” You tried to lighten the situation by saying, “Of course, I'm better than you.” 

“I'm sure you are. He's already strong, isn't he?” Ben asked. You laughed at how proud he sounded. He had his attention on observing Jake's abilities. “You must know that he strongly pushed my hands away from you. He literally attacked me.”

“Ben, he's still a baby.” You laughed aloud as you said, “He wouldn't attack you.”

“You keep saying that.” Ben found it funny how much you were enjoying yourself and feeling good. He was relieved that handling your little Supe guy wasn't as challenging as he had thought. 

You yawned abruptly and kept your head on Ben's warm chest while the moment of excitement and happiness gradually gave way to weariness. Ben kissed your forehead, and as soon as his heart was full of understanding, his hardness was already forgotten. He groaned into your hair. “I want to stay like this for some time,” he said. 

“For how much time?” 

“With you, forever and forever.”

AN: That was a one-shot. Please let me know what you think. I hope it's not bad haha.

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[thesilmarillionblog]

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If you would want to be tagged for Soldier Boy x Reader, Dean Winchester x Reader for upcoming series or one-shots, please let me know. You will be tagged for each of them further on once you let me know. You can also tell me if you want to be tagged for only one of them and which is.

[thesilmarillionblog]

𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄 ── Part 5

Click here to read the first part.

Summary: In the hopes that things would improve between you, you choose to lose your virginity to your friend Dean Winchester because you have been in love with him madly for a long time. However, he doesn't feel the same about you.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x F!Reader

Warnings: confessions, heavy angst, sick reader, distant Dean, insecure reader, painful, jealousy, misunderstandings, edgy

Word Count: 10.2k

A/N: English is not my first language.

Song: 'Now the One You Once Loved Is Leaving' by Lydia.

Dean was disturbed by the frantic knocking on the door and felt helpless to stop you from sobbing. He had absolutely no idea what was wrong. Minutes earlier, everything between you and him was perfect in every way. But suddenly, the moment you spent together had become an absolute misery.

If someone hadn't been beating on the door as if he were going to break it, he might have tried to talk to you about it and figure out what problem you were suffering from. The idea of pushing you made him feel quite sick. Dean believed he had worked very hard to make sure you desired this. He wouldn't have touched you in the first place if he felt even a little hesitation. 

Without a doubt, you and him needed to talk about that. However, it wasn't the right time. He knew you needed a little time and you needed to get out of here right away. It hurt to see you cry like you lost someone. Once again.

Fuck the ghost.

You did your best to stop weeping, adjusted your outfit, and wiped the tears from your cheeks out of fear that someone might catch you and Dean. You felt terrible for abruptly having a breakdown and made Dean feel dreadful, spoiling the lovely night. A beautiful Halloween may have been. The perplexity on his face was palpable. You wanted to cry more at the notion of him never touching you again, but you attempted to keep your focus on the present so as not to make a scene and make things worse than they already were. Later on, you would try to explain yourself. That was something you owed him.

Dean sighed deeply and stood up, watching you wipe away your tears as your crying gradually turned into regular breathing. You tried to persuade him that you were the only one responsible for this and that it was just a moment of weakness on your side. You didn't intentionally ruin it after kissing him first.

You secretly wanted him to console you, calm you, and convince you that everything was okay and that you two could fix whatever the problem was. But he remained silent, which just increased your sense of solitude.

However, if he questioned ‘why’ how could you really explain that you were just lovesick? 

You wanted to depart as quickly as possible, so you pushed yourself to stop crying before Dean got to the door and unlocked it himself. Robb was the one who was almost angrily banging on the door. When he noticed your teary, red eyes and Dean standing behind you, gazing at Robb with an obviously irate expression, his fist kicking the door stopped.

His voice was worried as he questioned, “What the hell happened to you?” Robb was clearly taken aback by your facial reaction. His fist loosened as it made contact with your arms.

You felt like you could start crying in front of them again when he gave you a comforting back rub. But since you didn't want to give yourself any more embarrassing yourself, you tried your best to smile and tell him, “I'm alright.”

Robert didn't seem to believe you, and he gave Dean a dubious look while remaining close to you and placing one of his hands on the door. “Did you just force her?” Your eyes widened in disbelief and embarrassment when Robb abruptly snapped while taking a quick glance around the room.

“Robb! Of course not!” you said in panic. You thought someone was about to start a fight when you saw Dean's expression go from one of perplexity to fury. Robb's concern for you was appreciated, but it irritated you to see him accuse Dean of committing such an awful act.

“Seriously,” Robb said, examining your face more closely while softly massaging one of your arms. He then turned to face Dean, who appeared ready to hit Robert at any moment. “What did the two of you do in that room? I became a little curious when one of my friends informed me that you two had gone straight upstairs after entering the home.”

You and Dean looked at each other. There, he was clearly caught up in an internal conflict. He gazed at Robb's arm as it brushed yours, who was acting like he was your lover. He couldn't deny how angry he was at the sight before him. A lot. To be honest, that made Dean want to smash Robert's face already. Let alone his stupid accusation, was enough of a reason for Dean to put the doctor in comatose. He would enjoy this in a very twisted way.

You hurriedly clarified, “We were just curious about the room you talked about earlier,” in the hopes that Robb would stop interrogating you and Dean. You withdrew your arm from his contact in order to set boundaries. You needed a place to relax and rest your ass because your heels were causing so much pain in your feet at the moment.

“What?” Robb asked, puzzled by your bizarre response. You would never be interested in such crap. After all, you weren't a teenager. You've also never been interested in such things before. You were a really reasonable person, as far as he knew you. “But that is not the room I have talked about. For heaven's sake... It's in the dowry. The room is completely empty, plus Jordan isn't even using it.”

As Robert crossed his arms over his chest and gave you and Dean a serious face, you felt your cheeks turn white. You felt faint when you realized that the room in which Dean had fucked you wasn't even the correct one. You were overwhelmed by fear to see Dean's face and his reaction. The only sound you heard was him taking a big breath. At this moment, you didn't want to know what he was thinking.

Dean, however, was the one who informed you that the locked room was the right one. There was nothing at all wrong with you other than starting the process by kissing him out of affection. He came up with the idea, not you. You needed to take an aspirin. You were now feeling somewhat more sick due to your headache. 

When Robb opened his lips to ask additional questions that would make you feel worse, you said, “I need to use the bathroom.”

“Sure.” As he showed you where to find the restroom, then Robert said, “We'll be downstairs with Dean.” 

Dean's keen gaze on Robbert was palpable. You thought you'd find the right opportunity for sorting it out later, but the need to boldly stare at his face and pretend that what happened there wasn't anything important was too strong. If only you had enough courage.

Dean wanted to rub you on the back and tell Robb to go fuck himself after seeing your weary and pale face, but he didn't want to make a scene and ruin your evening any further. Even though he didn't appreciate Robb's snobbish words, Dean only nodded to you to indicate that everything was all right. With those deadly shoes, he questioned how you were even walking. You must have been in pain based on the look on your face as you took nearly clumsy steps to the restroom. He wanted to remove them right away from your feet himself.

Fortunately for Robb, he wasn't glancing at you. If he was, he would have stared at your clothes, particularly your skirt, in a spiteful manner, such that Dean would decide to think of a reason to make a scene. Reluctantly, Dean and Robb went downstairs after they watched you go into the bathroom. A few were observing and spoke in whispers. Most of them were dressed foolishly and high as fuck. Dean came to the realization that he had no fun on Halloween. There was nothing at all enjoyable about it.

Only you and the food.

“So,” Robb remarked, passing him a cup of whiskey while they were standing near a table filled with food. His cigarette theme costume made him appear really ridiculous. Yet Robb had figured out a clever way to make use of his height. “What were you two doing up there?”

Angry when someone stepped on his cloak while he was walking by, Dean pulled it to himself. He didn't respond to Robb and kept piling food on his plate for you and him before he consumed a whole pie. In order for you to share in the small feast, he hoped you were hungry. That might make things less awkward between you. 

“Isn't it obvious?” As he proceeded to choose sweets to place on his tray, Dean eventually winked. You would love that desert.

“She's not into crap things. I know that,” Robb said with certainty. Dean was getting irritated by his cocky and confident appearance. Even though he was making every effort to avoid saying anything offensive, he had a suspicion that Robb was doing it on purpose. When you were around, he was a little different. 

“Then you don't know her.” 

“I do know she's a very sensitive and reasonable person,” he said. “She couldn't possibly want to go inside that room and see herself if it is haunted indeed.” Robb took a sip of his whiskey and said "hi" to a few visitors passing by him. Dean seemed irritated at hearing Robb's assurance when mentioning you. 

Robert had no idea who you really were, no matter how long you had been friends. He has never witnessed you hunting beasts or ghosts. He was clueless. 

“You have no idea,” Dean answered simply, looking at him intently. 

“I know her for a long time,” Robb said, sounding almost aggressive. When someone else walked on his cloak again, Dean became irritated and stopped putting food on his plate, pulling his clothing about his arm. “More than you.”

Dean replied, “Don’t talk like you know a shit,” with the same fury. He wondered whether that person was attempting to irritate him so that Dean would punch him in the face, cause a scene in front of you, and so forth. He would have kicked his ass already if he hadn't realized that he was your best buddy, which was dreadful enough.

“You must know,” Dean said, turning to face him with a cunning grin. “There, she showed a lot of curiosity. She wanted to see herself if the rumors were true, and I'm a really encouraging and helpful friend.”

Robb froze at Dean's implication. He was still in touch with your life and choices since you and him never lost contact. You weren't the type to keep significant information from him, especially those who you were interested in. Well, for a long time, you weren't into anybody, so Robert became tense with skepticism as a result of Dean's inappropriate imply. Robb was aware that you would have discussed it over the phone or via text if that guy was that significant and the things he intimated were true. Robb was aware that you were still untouched. He never criticized you for something like that, though it was still unexpected. He respected you.

He was aware that you wanted it to be with someone you loved and cared about, which Robb deeply valued. That's why he was annoyed by Dean's remarks. That man had no shame. 

Robb said, almost menacingly, “Be careful what you're talking about,” and Dean took a deep breath to keep his composure. He could tell that the night was coming to an end, with him smashing his nerdy face.

“That's what happened. Both of us were enjoying ourselves there and were a bit curious. Until you showed up,” Dean went on. He wanted Robb to initiate the fight so he could smash an empty plate on his thick idiot head. Dean was no longer smiling. When Dean first saw this man with you that evening, he knew he was going to be a pain in the ass. 

“The way she looked was different.”

With a harsh tone, Dean demanded that Robb stop talking so much. “She's fine.” If there was someone else to talk to, it would be better, but Dean just couldn't walk away, knowing Robb would talk to you nonstop. He wondered what you were doing up there. 

Robb was right when he said that you weren't at all okay, but Dean chose not to consider that. He couldn't help but notice how fragile and pale you were. Dean didn't understand what actually happened between you. He couldn't remember exactly who made the first move since he was inside of you so abruptly. But it didn't matter. What mattered was the root cause of your extreme sensitivity, which Dean was unable to fully grasp. It was just a wonderful moment, he thought—a chance for you to enjoy yourself in your own hunter ways. Twisted, but hot.

Having sex in a room he believed to be haunted was hellish, but it felt thrilling with you. He had fucked Jo once or twice weeks prior while they were on a ghost hunt, but it had been quick and not quite what Dean was hoping for. He couldn't find the satisfaction he was searching for. Maybe you simply loathed the environment you were in. A warm bed surely would make you feel better. Dean would think about this later.

Given that Dean was either obstinate or an egoistic jerk, Robb inhaled deeply. Dean gave him a proud, secure appearance, and he was undoubtedly aware that he looked good. Robert couldn't help but wonder whether you've been feeling anything recently for an ignorant man like him. But it was difficult to believe that you would genuinely fall in love with someone so egotistical and reckless.

“I know her limits.” Robb didn't say anything too direct to put you in a bad position, only remarked, “We've been friends for too long. And I can say that she wouldn't be possibly keen on lowering such boundaries with a man like you.”

The man in front of Robb continued to make overly explicit comments, so Robb's tone was harsher than he had expected. 

“I'm good at destroying stuff, and believe me, there are no other men like me.” Dean waited for you to arrive while checking the stairs. He made sure the plate was stuffed. He was about to punch the man in front of him. He was able to cure himself. So he needed you.

Robb let out a little sigh as he saw Dean was still giving the impression that you were actually interested in him, doing such crap things with him there. But once he saw your fragile, sobbing face, he refused to ignore it and go on

“Cut this off.” Robb said, “She's not like other women you met before,” in a tone so irate that Dean dropped his dish on the table with a harsh move. He was annoyed, surprised by the nerd's anger. He was absolutely trying Dean to make a scene.

“Say something else and I'll break your face,” Dean said, showing his frustration beyond control. In order to inform you that he knocked your friend unconscious in self-defense, he waited for Robb to initiate the fight since the atmosphere was tense. It would only be a defensive move. Reasonably harmless.

Robb's jaw tightened as well, sensing Dean's growing rage. He wasn't scared of that kind of man. But it was unsettling how he didn't give a damn and just concentrated on himself, regardless of what was going on. Robert wasn't sure whether that man was aware that you were still a virgin, but he didn't want to place you in a difficult situation.

“Do you even give a damn about what she is?” Almost in a bored whisper, Robb asked. He was aware that he needed to learn some things. He answered the inquiry as politely as he could, hoping you were still okay and Dean was just playing tricks on him about you.

When Robb asked an absurd question, Dean scowled. He was aware that you were a hunter and an orphan. One of the most sensitive and intimate aspects of your life was that. Dean didn't bring up the topic of your family so as not to upset you. Robb was more foolish than Dean had believed if he had been talking about this. 

To demonstrate that he knew you well, Dean remarked, “I know that she's an orphan,” almost in a whisper. Dean was pleased that the doctor was unaware that you were a hunter. He was and would never be that close to you. You were also closer to Dean than anybody could be. Maybe that shouldn't have made him feel proud, but it did. 

“She's...untouched,” Robb said. Before he spoke, he peered upstairs. “A virgin. Thus—”

“You lie,” Dean intervened, his fist clenched in what he believed to be an attempt to get Dean to kick his ass. He couldn't possibly be speaking the truth.

“I wasn't surprised that seeing that face of yours,” Robb said, taking a step back and smiling while sipping his whiskey. “So you keep that attitude to yourself when she's around and stop embarrassing her by implying stupid things.”

Robb was genuinely lecturing Dean, as he was deep in thought. Dean was by himself in front of the table when he heard that he had finally vanished when one of his friends greeted him and drew him to meet others. He drank one glass after another while reminiscing about the first time he fucked you. Dean was certain that he waited long enough before escalating the situation because you didn't say anything before he pushed himself inside of you.

Drinking from a glass wasn't enough, so Dean grabbed a bottle of whiskey and started to sip it while still thinking about the time he spent with you. He was aware that you hadn't seen anyone in a while. Because he believed you might wanted more than just being attracted to someone and that your loss for your family was still raw, he didn't ask you the reason that he hasn't seen you with anybody since you first met. It was good you let him touch you as he liked it, but he couldn't have predicted that you were still...virgin until he touched you.

He took a frustrated breath, disturbed that you didn't even provide him with such crucial information. He was unable to explain the rage that was clenching his jaw.

Dean attempted to figure out why you wouldn't have given him such an important thing, but he was unable to come up with a suitable explanation. He made an effort to ignore the pictures of how he had fucked you quick the first time. But he wasn't sure if he would follow through if he knew. That wasn't important to know, though. There was no way he could take it back.

As you watched him sip from a bottle of whiskey, lost in the moment, you muttered, “Dean?”

After cleansing yourself, you felt a little better, but the nausea remained. Your face was still pale, so you wondered whether you were sick. It may have been the cold weather. It could have been better to bring a hoodie or anything else. Your legs were unsteady from the things Robert told you. However, it didn't feel like the right time to bring it up. For a genuine conversation, you and Dean must be alone. You felt terrible at the thought of him being irritated about your sudden collapse when he was literally inside of you.

Since he was unaware that you were by his side, you softly rubbed his arm to draw his attention to you. He finally gave you a glance. For a moment, he appeared rather perplexed. 

“Where is Robb?”

He responded, “I-,” but then he arched an eyebrow and dropped the bottle on the table while still examining it between his hands. He seemed startled. You were curious about how much he had already consumed. His mouth was never empty. “I guess he's spending his time with his friends.” 

“Alright,” you said, concerned about the change in his behavior. 

You picked one of the sweets that looked so good off the table to ease the tension between you. Perhaps the nausea was brought on by the fact that you hadn't eaten anything since the morning. Dean was observing you with a serious expression on his face as you chewed it slowly. You would say he got frustrated if you didn't know him.

After swallowing a little portion, you placed the piece in your palms on the table and said, “Is everything okay?” When Dean's focused gaze was making you feel uneasy, it was difficult to enjoy anything.

“Yeah.”

After finding out the truth about you, Dean couldn't help but feel a little strange about you. He just didn't know how to continue processing things with you without causing you any more pain. 

He glanced around for a moment before asking abruptly, “Do you want to leave?”

You were hoping to meet Robert's buddy, the home's owner, and have a chat with him, but Dean didn't seem interested in striking up a conversation. To be honest, you didn't either. You could tell from the experience that you were about to become sick and your heels and feet were hurting. Just going back home would be nicer. 

“Yeah, but what about the ghost?”

To be honest, ghosts and hunts didn't really interest you right now. Regarding what happened thirty minutes ago, there were more serious problems between you and Dean that needed attention. Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. Dean was obviously annoyed, too, based on how he looked. You had to tell him you were the only one responsible. You may tell him that you were simply stressed because of the atmosphere. Nothing more.

Dean just muttered, “I'll think about it later,” and he watched you expectantly to see whether you were prepared to go. He then took the plate he had prepared for both of you.

“Alright.”

Dean held the plate of food and the bottle of whiskey as he walked you to his car. It poured. You offered to drive since you were worried he could be a little drunk, but he told you he was okay and didn't drink that much. You didn't say anything to lighten the thick air between you. You could only see his stern face, staring at the dark road.

You felt somewhat nervous since he was so focused. It would have been simpler for you to discuss what occurred if he had spoken or if he had been feeling a little chatty. But you were too afraid to speak up and worsen the situation. While he was driving, none of you spoke. He didn't even glance at you.

When you thought Dean would just leave, he came after you. “You are welcome to stay if you so want. It's pouring outside,” you said as soon as you took off your heels and set the plate on the kitchen sink. It was so nice to be rid of those heels that you almost moaned with joy. Even though you hurried to get inside the car because of the heavy rain, your clothes and hair were soaked. You had to change before you became sick.

Dean shut the door behind him, and you watched him with excitement. “Okay.”

Exhaling with relief and delight, you pressed your smile back even though he didn't sound happy at all. The sounds, the rain, and the darkness brought back memories of your first intimate moments a few weeks prior.

As you saw him take off his wet cloak, you ran to the bathroom and got two towels for the two of you. “You can use the bathroom,” you said, leaving him behind as he dried himself and entered your room. Several times Dean and Sam had spent the night at your apartment, so he had clothes.

Dean was confused and unsure of what to do as he nodded, not knowing how to get answers about the the truth. Robert could have been lying to him, but he needed to be sure and make you explain yourself. He couldn't ignore it any longer.

You quickly took off your costume and panties while Dean was changing there, dressing before he left the restroom. Even though you were still feeling a bit sick, you made an effort to keep yourself energetic. You were curious about whether he would sleep in your bed or on the coach when he walked in, but you didn't ask since you wanted to let him do as he pleased. Imagining him lying beside you was making your heart race with joy and delight. You needed that so much; your soul was yearning. You noticed that Dean was looking at you through the mirror as you were removing makeup from your face. You pondered why he continued staring at you with such seriousness. 

You both understood that you had got to solve the issue before it became too difficult to fix.

Dropping your stuff, you got up from the chair and looked around excitedly. It would feel better if he was a bit chatty. 

Even though you weren't sure whether it was the right way for expressing how you were feeling at the moment, you eventually said, “I'm sorry.” The fact that his expression didn't soften at all made your heart beat. He appeared to be seeking an answer as he gazed at you. “I was just a little stressed out there.”

Dean took a long breath. “I should have confirmed the room was the right one. It's my fault. I was just rushing.”

“Really, Dean, no. I just... Of course, what Robert told was false, and it was rude of him to say something like that. He must be drunk or something. The details Robb revealed about the murder made me a little uncomfortable and worried. I should have acted with  more professionalism.” You inhaled deeply and considered approaching him, but the way he was staring at you kept you still. “I'm really sorry for ruining it. Can’t we just act like it didn’t happen?”

Satisfied with the way you express yourself, you awaited the reply. You wanted him to see how much you truly wanted and looked for closeness with him, to know that you were prepared to be touched or taken anytime he wished to. Yet you wondered if Dean was genuinely open to seeing you, real you. He must have known that you would never turn him down. Whatever he wanted to forget about, he needed to know that you were willing to let it go. Your heart was aching for the times when he was closer to you, and the distance between you was shredding your soul in two.

He said, “Professional,” with a faint smile that never made it to his lips. Before he spoke, Dean took a moment to glance around. “How long has it been since you dated someone?”

You didn't seem to understand at all, despite Dean's best efforts to avoid asking in an aggressive manner so as not to shame you.

“Years ago maybe,” you said in an ashamed whisper. You were perplexed by his query, but if he needed clarification, then it was fine. “As you are aware, a lot has happened, and recently I have been too busy. Hunting monsters, ghosts, and my job—” you attempted to explain. These were undoubtedly just excuses, but how in the world could you tell him the truth when he appeared to be ready to judge you at any moment? 

There was no reason for you to risk your friendship with him. 

Your vague response caused Dean's eyes to narrow. He was aware that going forward, he would have to ask questions directly. “How recently did you have sex? Before me. When was the last time?”

When Dean asked you questions, your body tightened. You could sense the tension in the air as he drew closer. As he got closer, you should have felt better. It didn't. You pondered what precisely he and Robb talked about while you were away. You saw him get closer while lying. “A while.” You sounded a little harsh since you didn't like being asked such questions all of a sudden. However, you wanted to patch things up with him.

 “When?”

You muttered angrily, “Why do you ask such questions now?” as he closely examined the response you gave.

“Why are you not answering?” You felt trapped as Dean approached gradually, unsure of why he had suddenly begun to inquire about your private life. 

If everything between you was alright, you would be thrilled to see him coming closer, but the way he asked you in a tone that was almost harsh made your body tense with worry and stress. To put some distance between you and him, you stepped back and placed your hands on the chair's head. 

“Yes, I responded. It's been a while,” you said, refusing to give in to his dark stare that was crushing your soul. “Not everyone is obsessed with daily hookups like you, Dean, and I'm a busy person.”

You tried to maintain your calm by maintaining eye contact, but after a while your eyes wandered the room as if you were trying to walk away. Your inference didn't appear to be bothering him. He wouldn't be bothered, of course. 

Dean stated abruptly “Robert told me that you are a virgin,” and he briefly closed his eyes. “were.” 

Your knees felt shaky, and your face turned pale as he maintained his curiosity-driven eyes on you. You opened your mouth to speak, but you had no idea how to convince him that he was mistaken. When Dean revealed to you that Robert had informed him of such a private matter, you felt a surge of rage, but you were too perplexed to figure out how to handle the situation. You hated Robb. You hated him and Dean for discussing such a private subject while you were away. 

“He's lying,” you whispered. Your voice was hardly heard, even though you meant to sound harder and more resolute. 

“Robb is your closest pal. You told me this, remember? And now you're telling me he's lying,” Dean said. Indicating that he didn't believe you at all, he raised an eyebrow. “Why would he lie about something like that?” 

“Why does it even matter?” You snapped, no longer willing to discuss Robb or anything about yourself. 

Your question can be interpreted as a kind of acceptance. Your eyes met Dean's as your pulse pounded with nervousness. Dean was staring at you in confusion, as though he was trying to figure out what had actually happened. It was no longer necessary for you to even admit. Dean knew Robb was right. 

He was too blind to see it, even though he should have recognized it from the start when he rethought the specifics of your private moments, from how you felt extremely tight and how you hadn't seen anybody in a year. Taking a deep breath to keep his composure, Dean realized that if Robb didn't tell him, he would never know the truth.

“It does matter. You should have told me.”

“You're just exaggerating. I didn't want to inform you later and put you under any physiological pressure. It isn't that important,” you asserted. In anxiety, your fingers had gripped the chair behind you hard. You attempted to speak it out and seem normal while your heart was pounding and your legs felt weak, but Dean's reactions made it much more difficult. You weren't worried about your virginity at all.

He abruptly replied, “You could have told me beforehand,” raising his voice just enough to make you gasp. He moved closer until he was standing in front of you, staring into your teary eyes. “Have you given any thought to whether I would want to take your virginity? Why are you not answering?” He was so close that you could blow up because of the pressure he put on you.

Since it was one of the reasons you didn't tell him in the first place, it would be dishonest to convince yourself that it was what you expected. It's unlikely that Dean was aware of your want to spend your first time with him and your lone hope that he would grow to like you more later on. You were afraid that he may misinterpret your motivations and actions, even if the deed wasn't done with any cunning.

Your fingers loosened, and you released the chair with a disappointed heart. As you spoke to him, you were clutching onto the chair so tightly that you were unaware of it. Your fingers hurt. You questioned why he didn't treat you the same way he treated Jo. Were you worse? Did you not have any lovely features? You struggled to find the right words to soothe him as he gave you an irritated expression. But given how awful the night was, he had to be the one to soothe you.

You felt horrible and guilty.

“Dean, it's not really that special. Just.. heat of the moment.” To ease the tension between you, you tried to smile at him and added, “Don't think that I was expecting something when I decided to give it to you.”

“Good,” he said immediately before you were able to respond. You wondered why he was so frustrated because of the harsh and aloof tone of his voice. It couldn't be bound to what you hadn't revealed earlier. He could have felt somewhat guilty, but you were there to assure him it didn't matter. 

“Otherwise it would have gone to waste.”

This time, you struggled to contain your emotions since you were so devastated. You hated the way he treated you tonight; you could hardly restrain yourself from losing it again and looking stupid in front of him. All you wanted was for him not to feel under strain, so you never said anything. However, once he found out, he couldn't ignore something that was so personal. After learning, however, he must have felt pressured.

The yearning to keep him away was stronger than the need to stay close to him. Was it too much to want to sleep next to him in a warm mattress in the final days of October? Your heart clenched when you realized that he was okay with doing even more intimate things with Jo and other women. He wasn't generous with you. 

Dean couldn't help but feel regret for what he said as he saw your joyful look for a few moments before gradually waning and becoming filled with agony. His pride prevented him from saying anything, even though he wanted to apologize and comfort you. The fact that your first Halloween turned out to be somewhat terrible evening was awful. This was not what he had intended. You didn't either. 

Dean was overwhelmed as he observed your teary eyes idly looking into the room as if you were making an effort to make things better. He was no longer sure how to go with you. And he was unaware that he had gotten close enough that he could practically feel your hard breathing on his lips. If he took control, he could capture your lips and complete the task you began in that room an hour ago. Dean was confident you wouldn't turn him down and offer yourself to him again. He was tempted to move and let go of the tension that was driving him insane. If he lacked the strength to control his urges, he would have made the first move once again.

Since you didn't feel at ease in a stranger's bed, he was happy to take you to a warm bed. That could settle your disagreements. His mind and feelings, however, pushed him to fulfill none of them.

Dean became perplexed when he noticed that you were still staring at him expectantly and that neither of you had moved. The way you looked at his lips and then at his face with a pained expression as if you were about to kiss him made him even more confused. He was aware that he would respond to your kiss immediately, without a second thought. When he realized you were even a little bit closer now, he almost gasped. He was unaware of whether or not you were doing this intentionally.

You were able to whisper, “I'm going to sleep,” because you didn't want to talk about it any more for fear that he would hurt you further and not care about how you were feeling. You felt the rejection in your flesh and bones. Although it was hard to believe, Dean didn't care about you or how difficult it was for you to confess something so personal; you were desperately attempting to convince him that it didn't matter. He called it 'waste'.

Even worse, if he chose to sleep on your bed, on your side, you would still be too weak to feel peaceful. There was no need to disregard the cruel things he said to you or the way he looked at you, or to deny that your bound had weakened.

Dean stepped back. He said, “I guess the rain has stopped,” as you swiftly climbed your bed and moved away from him not to be seen.

Because you no longer wanted to look him in the eye, you turned your face toward the window and listened to the rain decreasing in pace. If you hadn't talked at all and he had simply been lying next to you, it would have been perfect to stay silent and let your bodies speak. As you wrapped the blanket around your cold body, you let your tears wet your pillow, knowing he would no longer see your expression. You didn't make a noise.

Nothing happened while you waited for him to lay down next to you and cover half of his body with the blanket. The only sounds you heard were Dean leaving your house and the faint sound of the door shutting behind him. When you heard him driving away, you repressed your feelings for him.

You couldn't contain your tears any longer and pressed your face against your pillow, sobbing aloud only as you were certain he had left. Knowing that you had no one to worry about who would find out that you were a pathetic lovesick sobbing over a man who didn't even treat you the same way he treated any of his hookups was almost nice. You didn't feel upset at Robb, but you did feel angry with yourself for not being honest with Dean from the very beginning. He should have been the one who soothed you and put things right, just as you were attempting to do.

Seeing him not try to maintain your friendship was the most painful thing. Everything appeared so simple to sort out, but his behavior made it hard to repair whatever had been damaged between you. So be it.

Your cries became sobbing, which in turn became harder to breathe as his words repeated in your head. You fell asleep on your wet pillow just as your headache was becoming worse and you were too exhausted to continue crying.

Your nightmares prohibited you from getting a good night's sleep, and you kept waking up in the middle of the night to see if Dean had texted or called. You checked your own temperature, and you realized that the chilly weather wasn't the only reason you were feeling unwell.

You understood from your experience that the sickness was also caused by your mental health and heartbreak. You considered skipping work today, but it would be best to keep yourself occupied. In order to forget what had happened, you wanted to work for hours on end without even taking a break. 

Before you left the house and forced yourself to eat something so you could take some medicine, you saw the plate Dean had set out for you in the kitchen, along with a bottle of whiskey. Your mind was overflowing with bad memories, so you threw the plate full of sweets in the trash can without giving it a second thought. You could drink whiskey another time.

Even though Dean tried to keep his thoughts busy, he had trouble falling asleep. He kept checking his phone throughout the night and considered calling or messaging you to talk it out, but he lacked the bravery and didn't want to wake you up because he knew you were pretty worn out and would be at work the next day.

Dean was sitting on the coach, whirling the phone nervously in his hands, sometimes checking the screen, when Sam arrived home in the morning. He assumed you were busy working at the moment.

“Hey,” Sam murmured while stretching his muscles. He scowled when he saw Dean consumed in his thoughts and still staring at his phone screen. “Are you waiting for a call?”

“What?” Dean said, confused. Sam was there, making himself some coffee, but he didn't even realize when he came.

“You keep looking at your phone.”

Dean defended himself by giving Sam an angry expression. “I'm not,” he said.

“So how did it go?” Sam sat on the couch and handed Dean a cup of coffee as well. He felt wonderful since he wasn't expecting his Halloween to be so joyful and enjoyable with Ruby. But Dean looked like he had been struck by a car. It was obvious he didn't get much sleep, Sam could tell. “You two got the job done?”

“No.” Dean just thought about the job you didn't finish in bed, even though he knew Sam was asking about hunting the Halloween ghost. Thus, his answer could work in both ways.

“Why?”

“It was locked,” Dean lied, unwilling to talk about the night before. 

“So you're telling me that you couldn't find a way to unlock it?” Sam's lighthearted tone made Dean tense, but he attempted to dismiss the image of your fragile look by taking a long breath to relax. Since you didn't seem good yesterday, he questioned whether you had become sick. 

When his brother offered him a broad grin that made him want to bite his skull, Dean smiled and said, “Will you stop acting like a bitch?” 

Sam gave up, not wanting to discuss the specifics in the morning. “Fine,” he sighed. “How is Y/N doing? She has not responded to my texts since yesterday. Did you leave the party too late?”

“Yeah, it was late.”

“How was your Halloween?” Dean asked so that the topic be changed. Since he wasn't particularly good at lying, he would undoubtedly tell Sam everything that had happened yesterday once he had any suspicions. Yet he didn't feel like listening to his little brother's lecture. 

“It was all right, but since you couldn't handle a single ghost, I suppose I should have accompanied you and Y/N,” Sam teased him. “It's unbelievable that you couldn't unlock a single door.”

Rather than arguing with Sam and letting him get under his skin with his grin, Dean remained silent and let his brother continue his teasing. Sam's eyes narrowed in suspicion as he saw Dean was no longer defending himself or fighting back, but he didn't ask him any questions. When Dean didn't fuck someone during an enjoyable night, he looked just like this. He would eventually tell him if there was anything else, or Sam would speak with you and find out himself.

The sound of a notification on Sam's phone caused Dean to turn toward him as Sam sipped the coffee in quiet. Dean continued to swirl his phone expectantly between his palms. Perhaps he should instead phone you or leave a message, but his pride prevented him from doing so. Yet his body ached to see you and talk to you.

It was absurd that he had been thinking about you nonstop since yesterday. In fact, he had been experiencing it for the past few weeks. He was unable to recall the precise moment it began, but it was driving him insane. Even in the most absurd situations, his mind kept thinking about you, which was crazy. Dean felt uneasy now that he had left your house after a somewhat little argument. 

While he stared at the screen, Sam said, “It looks like she'll be working all day.” 

“Did she text you?” With his gaze focused on Sam's fingers that were rapidly messaging you, Dean asked, his hands stopping to swirl his phone and waiting for the same notification. 

“Yeah,” Sam said while continuing to message you. As Dean watched his brother with a dissatisfied expression, the click sounds began to irritate him, and his boots began tapping the floor nonstop. 

Dean's fingers waited on the screen before tapping a thing when he checked his phone again and saw you online, but he instantly changed his mind since he was unsure of what to type. 

After tasting his own nasty smell, which caused him to frown in disgust, Sam finally put his phone down on the table and walked to the bathroom. Dean couldn't resist swiping Sam's phone and quickly checking it to see how you were or what you were doing just after he made sure his brother had closed the door. He hoped that you wouldn't actually be working all day. He might come to your place to fix things, or he may invite you. It was crazy how you avoided talking for so long. He couldn't even recall the last time you hadn't sent texts to each other for so long.

Fortunately, it was easy to go through the texts because he knew Sam's password. In any case, he wouldn't care. Dean read the texts, biting his lip, in which you told Sam that you were going to be working all day, that you were doing well, that Halloween went off well—all of which were complete lies—and so on. Dean typed without even realizing what he was doing since he assumed it was your lunchtime.

Just as he was about to put the phone down, the phone rang, prompting Dean to answer immediately to avoid Sam's interruption. He took a long breath and waited for you to say something. He felt like a teenager, with his heart pounding on his chest. With nervousness, Dean put his hands in his pockets and stood up from the coach.

“For God's sake, Sam,” you complained, “you've been typing for minutes.” All Dean was hearing were metallic sounds and fork sounds.

At last, he cleared his throat and said, “Sam is in the bathroom.”

You weren't expecting to hear Dean's voice. You swallowed as you recalled his cruel words and how he had abandoned you the day before. The food in front of you didn't appear to be as enjoyable as it had a few minutes before. You were no longer hungry. At least these hectic hours enabled you to forget about the argument between you and Dean, even if you've been working nonstop since the morning and the patients were especially challenging today. However, your longing for Dean's voice caused your heart to tighten once again, meaning that all of your efforts to forget were in vain.

Even though you didn't want to, you said, “Alright,” in a cold tone, as you were ready to end the call. Even at such a distance, you could feel the thick air between you. Being that way with him knowing that he had been inside of you hours before was insane. You were close and yet so far away.

Dean immediately said, “Wait, wait,” which caused you to pause. You patiently awaited till he spoke.

While Dean collected his thoughts on what to say, he took his hand out of his pocket and gripped the chair almost anxiously, his rough fingers clenched around it.

He said, “When does your shift end today?” When you informed his brother that you had been working all day, he hoped you weren't being honest. Otherwise, Dean didn't want the gap between you growing, and it would be hard to get together to talk about the matter immediately. He was going crazy from the uncertainty and your cold manner. The worst part was that he was aware of your best efforts to fix it.

Dean simply shut you out yesterday.

“I'll be working the whole day.”

“Why?”

“Because.” He acted as though nothing had transpired between you, and you were annoyed by it. You simply said, “That's what I was told.”

Dean frowned as he considered what to do. He had the option to see you at the hospital, but he doubted that it would be a good idea to discuss such sensitive subjects amongst ill patients while you were attempting to do your job responsibilities. And it didn't make sense that you would be working constantly just after Halloween night. You had to take a break. He wished to know whether you considered taking a day off.

“Tomorrow?” Dean asked softly. The first letters of your names that had been carved on the table were now being traced by his fingertips. He continued to touch your name softly on it unconsciously.

“I'll be working heavily this week.” You didn't want to be alone in your house thinking about Dean all the time. Although working full-time for a week would be extremely hard on your body and you were obviously exhausted, at least your mind would be occupied and you wouldn't be gradually thinking about Dean, creating fake scenarios in your head to overcome pain.

But your soul and mind desired to see him. When you heard his voice, it didn't make sense to do whatever you could to keep being upset with him. There could be a way to make things better. But like you, he had to listen to you and consider the situation from your perspective first.

Dean's jaw tightened in irritation and his hands halted. Now, what sort of shift was that? He was about to question whether you were lying again or if this was something you were doing on purpose, but he immediately changed his mind so as not to annoy you further.

You didn't wait for Dean to finish speaking when one of your colleagues said something. “Okay, I gotta go.” The longer you waited, the more anticipation filled your heart, making you feel even more sick.

Dean's lips opened to get you to stop, but it was too late. His mind was racing with ideas and plans on how to find a way to free up some time for you so that you could spend time together. He didn't move for a moment. He was aware that if he let go, you would grow apart and eventually lose sight of the initial reason for your small fight. He didn't want that.

Although he was still upset that you had withheld such crucial information from him, he needed to hear you out and understand your point of view. If he thought it was as unimportant as you said, you would have already started seeing other guys.

Dean was a little proud that you felt at ease sharing such an important thing with him, even if he hadn't understood the reason for it. He wasn't particularly proud of the way he hurried and didn't take his time to make it perfect for you, though. He couldn't even see your face properly since it was quite dark, even if he was doing everything properly. It still angered Dean to know that he would never have known if Robb hadn't told him yesterday. You couldn't determine that on your own and expect him to act normally about it. You have to understand him as well.

However, it didn't mean that you couldn't fix that problem.

Dean knew that you could become sensitive at times.

Your body ached from too much work as the days went by. Your body and mind were begging with you to take a break, and patients were being too much lately. You slept at the hospital at times and didn't even return home. Those naps were brief and of little use. You definitely needed to get plenty of rest till your body healed. The good news is that, as you had anticipated, Dean eventually left your thoughts. You just concentrated on resting. You washed your face again, looked in the mirror, and made the decision to spend tonight at home. Taking medications to force your body to work that hard wasn't a good idea.

You ignored Robb's warnings. You couldn't help but be irritated by his tone of voice, as though he hadn't told Dean the most intimate detail about your life. You blamed yourself just as much as you blamed him, since you should never have told him in the first place.

When you noticed Sam and Dean at the entrance after you had finished treating another patient and had given him and his girlfriend a ghostly smile, you could not move because their faces were covered in blood.

“Sam!” you said as you hurried over to accompany him, and your colleague looked at you bewildered. He appeared to be a complete mess. He wouldn't often visit the hospital for such injuries, but you were glad he did.

“Hey,” he said, scowling as he attempted to grin at you. His jaw tightened in pain. While you checked on Sam, you requested your colleague to look after Dean. You got the message from Sam's gaze when you asked him what had happened. Compared to Sam, Dean didn't appear as bad. You really didn't want to talk to him or feel brave enough to look him in the eye.

As you attempted to help him, you made him lie down and lifted his t-shirt. After all, it wasn't the first time. He had a little cut. But if Ruby saw it, she would lose her mind.

Your heart was racing as your colleague questioned Dean. You were unable to take your eyes off of them, and you noticed that Dean gave her a quick reply while continuing to stare at you.

Realizing that Sam's condition wasn't very serious, Dean offered the nurse to change her place with you, who was attempting to do her job by cleansing his hand of blood before stitching. You went straight to Sam without even looking at Dean properly, which slightly wounded his pride. Although he didn't care for himself, he assumed you would be curious about how he was doing.

Dean's heart melted when he saw how exhausted you were, how messy your hair was, and how completely messed up you looked. He was on the verge of losing it since you had been neglecting him for so long. And he nearly forgot what went wrong between you when he saw you in front of him, dressed in your sweet nurse clothing. None of them mattered at that moment.

When Dean called your name, you didn't look at him until your colleague, who was annoyed by Dean's actions, joined you. You let her look after Sam after apologizing to her with a bashful smile. Sam's wounded gaze was full of inquiry when you apologized to him as well, but he didn't care and simply huffed when he heard Dean making some noise. He believed that his brother had made an attempt to flirt with the nurse. There were times when he was very embarrassing.

While you examined Dean's wounded hand, you attempted to straighten your untidy hair with your wrist. It brought up memories of the day you were wounded. The whole thing was almost ironic. Your face grimaced as you saw how deep the cut was, and you noticed that your fingers lingered on his hand in a gentle manner, as if you were attempting to ease his suffering. Yet there were no sounds coming from him.

His voice was a whisper, “Hey,” as he sat on the stretcher. When you realized it was your first face-to-face encounter since that terrible night, your face instantly heated.

Once you finally turned to face him, you said, “How that happened?”

“One of the hunts didn't go quite well. It's not serious.”

You said, “It looks a little serious though,” as you began to take care of him. You were nearly as tall as him when he sat. You nearly forgot about everything when he looked at you. You had missed him. You had missed having a fairly casual conversation with him.

Dean said, “You've been very busy these days,” after noticing that you were suddenly overly focused. “I tried reaching out to you many times.”

“I needed some time alone,” you responded without trying to come up with an excuse to get him to talk to you about it.

Stating, “I hoped... We could talk about it,” Dean watched you intently to see all of your facial expressions. His heart was filled with anguish at how weary you sound. You wouldn't push him away with such determination if he didn't leave that night. He was unable to figure out how much his words had caused you to work so long and not want to go home.

Knowing what Dean was talking about, your cheeks reddened with guilt as he brought up the issue between you. You heard him groan in pain as your hands became a bit sloppy. He tried to create no sound by clenching his jaw, but he failed. You whispered sadly, “Sorry,” as one of your hands touched his compassionately. If there were nothing wrong between you, you would most likely give it a gentle kiss.

Dean immediately answered, “It's okay,” and his little smile made you glance at him to check whether he was telling the truth.

Whispering, “I'm really sorry, Dean,” You meant it. Even though it was difficult and uncomfortable, you had to speak to Dean about what had happened and ask him if he would be okay taking your virginity. Even if you felt different, you were still just close friends. You didn't intend to put pressure on him to inform him or make him find out your situation after you had sex. You'd never do that.

Once you gazed at him with sorrowful eyes, his lips parted in surprise. As you were stitching his injured hand, he had no intention of starting this conversation like this, yet here you were. Perhaps you were feeling relaxed at that particular time, and Dean didn't want to ruin that vulnerable moment.

“It's all right.” He tried to show that he was ready to sort out the matter between you and let the barrier fall through his words quietly, “I didn't mean to hurt you.” It felt right; you were so close to each other. He hardly ever slept because of how you let the distance between you grow every day.

As he spoke softly and urged you to look at him, your heart was pounding. It was crazy how things you believed to be serious and from which you would never fully recover now appeared trivial. Less than five words and a little effort, and they were all gone. You relaxed and took a long breath.

“I just need to know why you did this in the first place,” Dean stated. His voice remained warm and compassionate, as if he genuinely wanted to fully understand you and was prepared to consider the situation from your point of view. You waited for him to continue, as you were almost done tending to his wounds. “Why did you share such an intimate thing with me without even telling me who you were?”

You remained silent until you had gently wrapped his hand with a bandage and finished treating it. Your heart raced as you two waited in quiet, oblivious to everyone and everything around you as if nothing else mattered. You couldn't help but apply extremely gentle strokes to touch his palm where it wasn't injured because it was such a tender moment. By the way he stared at you, you could see that your behavior astonished him.

You realized then that you had gone too far to turn back. The damage was too severe to fix. Whoever had first wrecked the other one didn't matter. However, your feelings were certain about him. You knew that your feelings for him remained unchanged no matter how hard you tried or how many hours you spent trying to forget about him and what had transpired. No matter how hard you try to get away from it, the feelings he evoked in you when you gazed into his eyes and he gazed back at you will always be with you. There was no escape.

Your hands ceased rubbing Dean's hand as you looked at his face. He called your name again to get a response. This time, you stared at him without blinking and took a deep breath with a heavy heart.

“I love you.”

NEXT CHAPTER

A/N: Another long chapter for you, hehe. WE ARE IN THE ENDGAME NOW. Please, let me know what you think about this one. Comments and reblogs are very appreciated! Remember they keep me going and I put soo much effort hehe love you  ‪‪❤

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[thesilmarillionblog]

𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭: 𝟗

Click here to read the first part.

Summary: You and Soldier Boy want to create a family and move on from everything, even the Vought, but you also know that he has to face Homelander one last time to keep his vow to Butcher. However, nothing turns out as you had hoped.

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Reader

Warnings: +18!, SMUT!, memory loss, language, creeplander, naive reader, vaginal fingering

Word Count: 6664

A/N: English is not my first language.

Song: 'Alone with My Thoughts on a Windy Night' by Lønely.

Butcher got in touch with you and asked you to come in the morning after you and Soldier Boy finally had a peaceful dinner and a pleasant talk. When Soldier Boy heard his voice, his face changed. He showed as much respect he could, and you were relieved that he remained calm during your conversation with Butcher. You were shocked by how he behaved, given his hatred for Butcher. It was nice. 

He was, however, clearly prepared to kill Butcher and his whole team without hesitation. After all, he had his own reasons. 

You made an effort to be more polite and gentle compared to earlier since you didn't want Soldier Boy to change his mind. After all, he had been miserable since the morning. 

When Soldier Boy asked you to eat more, you said, “I'm full, thank you,” breaking the silence. 

Stating: “You must eat so that you can regain your strength.” He tugged your chair smoothly till you stopped at his side just as you were ready to get up. “How are you going to get your memory back if you behave like this?” You let out a gasp and reached for his shoulder for support.

You turned your head away and moaned, “I'm about to puke,” as he tried to make you eat more. “And I’m sure eating more has nothing to do with gaining memory back.”

He said, “Of course it does,” as he kept eating like a greedy beast. As you saw him swallow half of a cheeseburger in one bite, your mouth fell open in astonishment. “Your mind cannot function as well if you don't eat properly since you can't regain your energy. It's simple.”

You finally picked one of the pies and began eating after seeing him enjoying the dinner so energetically.

Ignoring his comments, you giggled, “Can you eat any faster?” He ate everything on the table with great dedication and focus. Your chuckle transformed into an empathetic smile before fading away as you realized he had also been asleep for months. Just like you. You both had missed so much.

Until he was full and given up, you didn't say anything. It is likely that his jaw became weary from functioning for two hours. Then he burped, stretching his powerful muscles.

"Fuck. Sorry for that," he stated while raising his eyebrows and giving you a regretting glance.

"It's alright." You laughed at his attempt to appear gentle as you saw him struggle to avoid making the same sound. He looked funny when he tried to be kind.

Soldier Boy was about to say that you used to be disgusted by him burping whenever you two ate together, but now you didn't appear to feel that way. But if you complained again, he'd feel better. He kept this thought to himself because there was no use in ruining the atmosphere at the dinner table, though. 

He took a look at you and said, “We can leave now if you are done.” He would tell Homelander that he didn't want to be bothered till tomorrow later.

As you swiftly swallowed the final piece of pie, you nodded to him and started to stand up. You swallowed the piece and then licked your lips. “I am ready.” 

After following you, he realized there was just one pie remaining, so he took it while adjusting his suit. To remove the unpleasant smell from his body, he needs a cold shower. 

He winked at you and swallowed the entire pie. “I'm going to eat your pie if you are okay with it.” You were taken aback by his greed. He would probably eat until he felt worn out if someone challenged him. 

“It’s fine.”

Soldier Boy kept his hand on your back and continued to rub it there while you were on the elevator, as if he could sense your nervousness and was trying to reassure you. On the seventh floor, the elevator stopped. The person standing in front of you was Homelander. You wanted to break all of his teeth when you saw the big smile on his ignorant face. 

You remembered Homelander even if you didn't remember Soldier Boy. It was impossible for anyone to forget such a tyrant, a monster. If there was enough space in the elevator, you could back off a step, but there was no way to avoid him at this point. He was staring at you with his deadly blue eyes with joy, as if he had finally seen his buddy after a long time. The way he looked at you made you sick.

Sensing your uneasiness, Soldier Boy's posture changed, and he immediately took his hand in an attempt to show that you were his and that Homelander could not harm you or anyone else. But it didn't calm you down. Despite being his biological father, Homelander didn't give a damn about what other people thought. You were sure he didn't care what Soldier Boy was thinking about him. He only cared about his own animal instincts. 

The thought of him being the son of Soldier Boy got your body tense. It felt strange. 

“Look who we have here.” Homelander put one gloved palm on his chest as if he couldn't believe his eyes and added, “I guess someone changed sides,” in a happy tone. “I'm glad to see you in Vought with Soldier Boy, safe and sound.” 

“Cut this shit off,” Soldier Boy said before he could react. 

If Homelander referred to him as ‘dad’ or anything, that would be disgusting. He was undoubtedly cautioned not to be called like this by Soldier Boy. 

Homelander grinned proudly as he saw your hands locked together with Soldier Boy's. “I'm just relieved that you're finally on the right side. But I guess you're heading out.” Homelander was ready to say that you are now his mother-in-law, but he changed his mind since he didn't want to bother Soldier Boy. It would touch his nerves for sure. He had become overloaded with work; there was just too much to do. “I want to know how your former team is doing. They must be heartbroken to see you change sides. I hope that they took it well. Especially Butcher.”

Soldier Boy inhaled deeply and was ready to say something nasty when you said, “They are doing fine.” 

“Find your own spoiled son first and don't disturb me or her until tomorrow, and also politicians are being a pain on my ass,” Soldier Boy replied finally, pulling you closer to him as he became irritated with Homelander's conversation with you. “You have to start somewhere.”

“At some point, they will stop talking. I know you're not very good with the Internet, but I can tell you that the number of people who are rooting for you keeps increasing every hour. Now that you're popular again, make sure it stays that way. Nothing else is important. You just don’t blow up.”

Homelander waved his hand, seemingly unconcerned by them. “But first we must get rid of Butcher and the others. I considered Vicky unkillable, but he fucking murdered her together with the others. That is an extremely serious problem.”

Hearing Homelander discuss killing Butcher and others made you uneasy. You didn't want the others dead, even if you couldn't recall them and they lied to you all together. He was obviously referring to Butcher on purpose. It was intended to either annoy you or serve as a warning through you. It didn't really matter that Soldier Boy was holding your hand at the time. Both of them desired the deaths of your friends. 

Soldier Boy kept holding your hand even if you wanted to release it. Being around people who wished to kill your friends was frightening and unsettling. You couldn't sympathize with Homelander, but you could understand Soldier Boy's motivation for a reason. Homelander was a disease. 

“We'll discuss such matters later, and they won't cause any more issues.” Soldier Boy simply stated, “Don't fucking call me until tomorrow. There are other things that need to be resolved first.” He avoided talking about Butcher and others with Homelander while you're still in the very same place as them.

Homelander's actions angered him, but he would handle it later. 

You exhaled in relief as the elevator came to a stop and you and he left Vought Tower, Homelander, and his crap words behind. Until you got into the car, Soldier Boy continued holding your hand. Both anxiety and worry were still causing your heart to beat. You were afraid of Homelander and the terrible things he could do. It was useless to deny it. If it would benefit him, he could do any vile thing he wanted, no matter what they were. 

Soldier Boy's head turned to you as he drove you to his house, feeling the dense atmosphere between you. “He wouldn't dare to hurt you.”

You should have been soothed by his powerful voice, but it didn't. 

You openly commented, “It feels wrong seeing you cooperate with him. I'm not sure if the old me that you were in love with would appreciate that.”

Although you didn't want to come across as harsh, you found yourself talking to him as though you were prepared for another debate. But it wasn't what you wanted. Just as you chose to believe in Soldier Boy from the start and continue to do so now, you wanted to be certain that he would always choose you. 

“If only you could remember what happened, it would be easier for you to understand,” he said. You felt terrible because you thought he could've been a little nasty and sound harsh, but he wasn't. He was just calm. 

He took a big breath after looking at your perplexed look. “Even after finding out that Homelander was my biological son, I still wanted to kill him just as much as you did. He's just a cheap lab product, so it didn't really mean anything, but I was still going to kill them all. It may have turned out differently today if your pals hadn't betrayed me there.”

His serene and honest explanation made you feel a range of complex emotions.

You attempted to picture your life with Soldier Boy and wondered how it would be if you didn't lose your memories. With Butcher and the CIA's assistance, Homelander would die and Vought would be destroyed. It sounds like a nice and peaceful world. The day you lost your memories was a vast void that you were unable to fill despite your best efforts.

“I didn't mean to blame you,” you added sadly, attempting to show him that you truly felt sorry for him for everything. Soldier Boy didn't appear to be a despot or ruthless person, despite what Butcher told you. “All I need to know is that you won't participate in their evil plans as Homelander and the other Seven members do. I can't stay with a man who hurts other people.”

“It's not my intention,” explained Soldier Boy. “I can't say that I've done nice things in the past, but I'm... different now.” 

“That's good to hear.”

You both needed the quiet and tranquility that the remainder of the route offered. You were relieved that Soldier Boy was kind enough to purchase a house because you had been so stressed out after spending the entire day at Vought Tower. That would be more comfortable. You were aware that Homelander controlled and stayed in the Tower, and you could not possibly sleep there in the same building with him. 

After parking in front of a very decent house, Soldier Boy used his keys to unlock the door and softly brushed behind your back, encouraging you to come inside. Like his ego, you would have expected him to have a big house, but it was actually rather lovely and appeared surprisingly modest. The ambiance was pleasant because of the dim light and the dominant use of brown and green shades. 

Although the oriental rugs between the coach and the TV were completely un-American, it appeared that he was full of surprises and had unique design preferences. In fact, it appeared to be a charming house from the 1990s. It was also modern, so it looked a bit mixed. You were fine with it.

You could feel him watching you enthusiastically as he shut the door, as if he was trying to gauge how you were going to react. 

As you entered and lightly touched the surface of a large green coach, you told him, “Your house is very...sweet,” with a sincere smile. Your heart was racing frantically as the atmosphere grew heavier. After all, you were in the same house with the strongest Supe. There was nothing wrong with feeling like that. 

You noticed him taking a sigh of relief. You turned to face him as he drew closer. “Our home,” said Soldier Boy instantly. The quickness with which he could melt your heart was terrifying. “You'd told me once that you didn't like big houses.”

Another memory that was missing. God knew how many there were of them. 

You said, “Ah.” Now, it was painful to be unable to recall a single conversation you had with him. You grasped his hand with gratitude, realizing that he did care about your taste when he designed and purchased the house. Not even knowing where you were, he must have thought about you and what he would do once he found you. 

Now, you didn't even know his name. 

Your heart ached, and every argument you had with him felt wrong. 

You inquired, “Where will I be sleeping?” You could look at the entire house later. You felt exhausted even though you hadn't done anything since the morning other than hang out with Soldier Boy in Vought. A lot of things would change after tomorrow. You needed to relax your thoughts and your mind.

“I didn't get you a separate room. I hadn't planned to find you suffering from memory loss,” he sighed, clearly upset by the way things had turned out with you.

“Sorry,” you said in a whisper while genuinely studying his eyes. The situation was hard to convey in words, but it was agonizing to desire to comfort him and reassure him that everything would be fine soon. You only wanted him not to blame you, regardless of whether you remembered him or not. You truly felt sorry.

“It's alright.”

Soldier Boy led you upstairs to see your room after seeing your attempts to suppress your yawns.

Soldier Boy's hands remained on your back the entire time, seemingly sensing your nervousness as he led you upstairs to show you the room you would be staying in from now on. Even if you had been with him for a long time, despite the fact that you couldn't recall those times, he was still kind of a stranger. Fixing it would take some time. Of course, there wouldn't be any issues if you allowed him to use Cate's abilities on you. But you weren't prepared to do this. To find out whether he truly loved you, you had decided to get to know him as well as let him get used to the new you. 

In an attempt to show that you were cool and prevent him from bringing up the Cate issue again, you looked about and softly touched the massive wardrobe and then the bed's cushion. You were too exhausted to engage in the same debate. A deal is a deal. 

You were right to check the wardrobe to see if there were any clothes for you. The answer is yes; he had considered everything. You were devastated by the idea of him setting up the room in anticipation of finding you and building a life with you. You couldn't ignore his effort, even if you didn't remember him. He must have been really disappointed to find you this way. You were a disappointment.

You said, “It's a lovely room,” as he walked slowly behind you, making your heart beat. Being in the same room with a supe made it difficult to concentrate on important issues. Once your guy was a supe. He was a supe that was once your boyfriend. Most probably. 

“I'm glad you liked it.”

Soldier Boy hadn't planned to show you the room that was. He hadn't imagined this moment like this, but what was done was done. For the moment, it was all he had. He felt that it was something like displaying your room to a complete stranger who looked just like you, but he soon brushed these feelings aside as he became irritated. You might reestablish your connection with one another. Everything would be okay as long as you had each other. All he needed to do was wait three months. Not a single day more.

By locating Cate and allowing her to use her abilities on you, he could have made you remember everything. The thought of forcing you to do something like that was an option, but it wasn't right. Now you were even more stubborn. Your submissive and docile side, which put all of your trust in him, was far better. But now he had to put up with whatever you had. He might be able to make you change the way you view things later.

Soldier Boy stepped back and set his firearm on the table. Shortly after you sat down on the bed, he started taking off his supe suit and loosening his belt. Your cheeks flushed, unsure of just where to gaze. Soldier Boy, however, grinned mischievously as he removed his hefty chest plate and then everything on him after hearing your heart race. Even though your eyes begged you to stare at his packs, thick belly, and massive shoulders, you chose to look straight into his eyes.

You tried your hardest to imagine how you had once before touched each other and how many times you had touched his body. You were happy that he couldn't read what you were thinking.

He finally laughed as he said, "You don't have to torture your eyes and force them not to look at me," taking pleasure in your small battle. "Enjoy the view."

You only muttered, "Funny," but you were encouraged to take a quick glance at his physique.

You watched him enter the bathroom and turn on the water. Finally, he turned back to the room and removed his gloves. All he had left were his pants. It was a flawless appearance, no doubt about it. Fortunately, he didn't say anything obscene while you were watching him strip off. It was lovely to see him dismantle his outfit piece by piece. His muscles alone were enough to give you an idea of his strength. 

Soldier Boy remarked, “If you need a quick shower, you can join me, you know. To save the water.” as he set his phone aside and unbuttoned his pants to remove them as well. 

You responded, avoiding eye contact this time, “Unfortunately, I already took a shower in the morning, remember?”

“Your loss then.” 

When he removed his trousers, your cheeks flushed, and you lay on the bed to avoid staring at him until he removed his boxers as well. Even though he remained silent, you could hear him smirking. When he entered the restroom, you were now watching the ceiling. While he was having a shower, you finally got up and dressed. 

Soldier Boy emerged from the bathroom with a small towel over his belly as you looked over the stuff he had purchased for you inside the wardrobe. As soon as he glanced at you with a broad grin on his face, you immediately stepped back and swiftly lay on the bed, cradling your pillow. He was clearly delighted by your attempt to get a glimpse of his physique as if it were your first time. Since it was truly your first time, he thought it was funny to see how you reacted.

He abruptly dropped the towel from his belly, revealing his entire wet body to you as he turned to face the wardrobe.

“Don't you have shame?” You grumbled as you finally dropped your pillow beneath your head after tightening your fingers around it. Otherwise, you would bite it out of excitement and embarrassment. Pressing the yearning that was waking between your legs was challenging. You were watching as the drips from his damp hair fell shamelessly down his back and onto the floor, as well as down his tight ass. 

“I'll let you enjoy the view. We've seen each other naked a hundred times.”

“Sorry, I must have a weak memory, but I think that is something fixable at least.” 

“You know what they say; practice makes perfect. It will be my pleasure to help you in this.” After giving you a playful response, Soldier Boy turned to face you entirely nude, revealing his entire wide, muscular physique with pride. He's already excited by your lively and humorous demeanor, which is causing him to think about dirty things. When he noticed your bold attitude, his body forgot the chilly shower he had just had. He was relieved that you held your attitude.

Before he put on his boxers, you had a quick glimpse at his manhood. You felt a little uneasy due to his size and questioned how you could possibly have taken his beast inside of you without Temp-V. It must have been hard for you both to have sex because he was a supe. Perhaps that was somewhat painful from your side. The only way to know was to do it.

You allowed him enough space to lie next to you on the bed when he also put on his sweatpants and t-shirt. It kind of felt odd. As you observed him, the strange, weighty feeling was still present in the air. Once more, the sadness you experienced in Butcher's home, where you and Soldier Boy spent the night, was palpable. You couldn't explain it or understand it; it was just a powerful emotion. It seemed like an ode to the memories you and he had lost. You could rely on it, which made you feel comfortable around him and less frightened of him.

Thus, you moved a bit closer to him while he gazed at you expectantly, as if he were paying attention to how you reacted to him, as if he were attempting to enter your head and find out what you were thinking about him. 

“Come here,” he murmured, and as soon as he noticed your cautious attempt to stay near, he immediately embraced you in his powerful arms. 

You took a big breath of his fresh scent. His aroma was a combination of wood and ocean, a wild but mixed scent. You may claim that this wasn't a stranger at all because it has been said that people had smell memories. You could practically taste and almost recall his in your mouth. 

By complimenting him, you tried to ignore the space between you. “You smell nice,” you remarked. You didn't want to forget him, that's for sure. You desired to remember what you were missing. All you wanted was for things to go escalete naturally, though. He had to give you enough time to get to know him again. 

Then you recalled his sour remarks that if you forgot him, he wouldn't love you. Did he tell the truth to you? Was he being honest? You hoped he could give his name to you without you asking for it anymore. But you didn't press him. 

He just responded, pulling you closer. “Hmm.”

As he watched you, you placed one of your hands on his sharp jaw and massaged and stroked him there. Even though you were even unable to recall his name, he was a little perplexed by how at ease you were with him, but he was completely cool with it. In that one real instant, your heated arguments earlier meant absolutely nothing. You went through all of that pain for that little, gentle, and tender moment.

As if to show you that he would be gentle after you took Temp-V, his powerful hands lightly patted your back. But you couldn't ignore his strength; you knew he would easily rip you in two if he utilized it even little on you. You weren't scared at all, yet it was enough to make you shiver. Simply put, it was thrilling. You felt safe and sound.

Your hands moved to his, caressed his still-wet hair, and then paused at his neck, feeling encouraged. You kept checking his green eyes to make sure he was alright, moving your head and body closer to his lips. Then you closed your eyes, overcome by his intense stare, and instinctively pressed your lips to his warm ones. Feeling something and attempting to restore what you had lost was perfectly normal.

You could see he wasn't expecting you to act so brazen and eager, but he immediately regained his composure and kissed you passionately and without hesitation.

Soldier Boy had missed you and needed you more than ever; there was no doubt about that. Both of you were touching each other, and the yearning to feel something was agonizing. That was all he had, but he hadn't imagined your first night in your home like this. Your agreement would be terminated if he endured three more months of pain. It seems that it would take some time to make you remember everything. Yet Soldier Boy was patient when it came to you.

It did not, however, imply that he would stay away from you until you recalled. Fortunately, it was okay for you to go all the way and let him look after you and fuck you as he desired. He needed to touch you, feel you, be inside of you, and prove you belonged to him once again. Your body also needs that. The way you responded to him made it crystal clear. 

Soldier Boy didn't lose another second to move on top of you without breaking the kiss. Although the kiss was nearly slow, it was urgent, desperate, and passionate. Your bodies yearned to be close. 

Even though you gasped in surprise, you continued to kiss him softly as he positioned himself between your legs. The hardness between your legs seemed like it wanted to go through your underwear and sleeping clothes, but you tried to ignore it. Soldier Boy's kisses were intense, passionate, and full of hunger. To find a more comfortable position, you shifted slightly beneath him. He forced you to lie properly by pushing your cushion away and pulling you down slightly beneath him. You seemed to be at his mercy.

 As you continued to kiss him tenderly, your hands tingled as they touched his thick beard. You had no control over your lips and mouth; they simply wouldn't quit. It was as though his powerful hands controlled every part of your body to find the things you forgot about. His kisses were becoming more forceful and possessive than yours, as though he was also looking for something that he had lost with you.

His hands gripped your hips and pinned them under him while he silently growled and pushed his tongue in your mouth. It wasn't until then that you realized you were rubbing against him to create some friction. Without reluctance or guilt, you reached his belly with your hands, slipped your fingers into his t-shirt, and caressed his pacs. His chest was surprisingly warm, and it was nice to touch and feel his power beneath your fingertips.

Getting to know his muscles and physique again felt amazing. You pondered whether he was also finding the procedure enjoyable. After all, it wasn't his first time with you.

Soldier Boy didn't appear to be going to draw back anytime soon, so you eventually did so to catch your breath.

You attempted to engage in some real conversation as your finger continued to probe his muscles beneath his t-shirt. “You are very warm,” you said, breaking the silence. Since your reunion, you have argued more than you have talked in peace.

Through your lips, Soldier Boy gave you a little smile before he slightly withdrew. Desire was bursting forth and reddening both of your lips.

He remarked, “I can get warmer,” and raised an eyebrow. When he slightly warmed his chest, you gazed at him bewildered and then gasped in surprise. You were shocked, but it didn't hurt.

“Then you must be very useful in winters.”

“Oh yeah?” he said, eventually placing his length between your legs to provide the friction you had been seeking for a while. “I'll keep you so warm and nice."

He kissed you again just after you said, “I hope so,” but this time he was more possessive, as if he was eager to show you that you were his and would do anything you asked from him. It was strange how comfortable and proper it felt to be at his mercy and underneath him.

Even though you weren't sure whether you would go all the way without utilizing Temp-V, you chose to follow his lead and see what transpired. All you could hope for was that he wouldn't leave you unsatisfied. You spread your legs somewhat wider and lifted your hips slightly to signal your need and want to him. Like he was battling you, his tongue and lips were biting yours. You would have gone insane just from the way his muscles were flexing beneath your fingertips. You really needed to feel him.

You even surprised yourself by how loudly you moaned as one of his hands gripped your tits and played with your nipple through your top. You needed the release since you had been teasing each other since the morning, but you weren't sure how to go about it precisely.

Soldier Boy decided you were ready to go further with him after hearing your desperate moans. Since you had been teasing since the morning, you both really needed a moment to relax. His recent chilly shower had no significance at all.

You gasped as he quickly drew back and lowered your sweatpants with your underwear. You kept your hands inside his t-shirt to indicate to him that you were prepared for some foreplay. Feeling his heart pound beneath your hands caused you to calm a little. He needed you as much as you needed him. He still desired you in spite of his thoughts about your new self. 

He examined every inch of your body, making your legs tremble with eagerness and coldness. Despite your strong desire to escape from his penetrating gaze, you chose to wait patiently underneath him, telling yourself that you had previously done it a hundred times. There was no cause for fear. 

As his hands began to brush across your knees, he smirked slyly and said, “Are you feeling anxious now?” Your chest lifted with strong breaths, and you felt defenseless without a cushion beneath your head. 

“No,” you immediately replied. Even though your cheeks were flushed, you chose to be bold. It wasn't your first time with him, you kept telling yourself. “I rather feel... wet.” 

When he found nothing unsure on your expression, you could feel him warming up beneath your hand. Despite your best efforts to disguise it, he could see that you were still anxious and bashful, but there was no reluctance. Soldier Boy's hardness was urging him to lower his sweatpants and boxers and go inside you with a single hard thrust. You both needed a little foreplay, but you could lure him into your warm pussy so well. He would properly look after you later.

“Well, I'm having trust issues lately, so I must check myself if you're telling me the truth,” he said in an amusing manner. As you waited for him to act already, you smiled softly at him. 

You went crazy as his hands gently moved up your legs and thighs without breaking eye contact. You were actually flowing there as his fingers finally reached your pussy and his lips opened in astonishment and delight. You were completely ruined there. You whimpered quietly as he palmed your pussy and then your slick since you've been feeling sensitive. You had your hips up in expectancy. 

“Fuck,” he shrieked, sensing your slippery liquid on his palms. He could simply glide inside you since you were so moist beneath him at the moment. He didn't even have to get you ready. “Guess we have an issue here.”

“Told you,” you mumbled, biting your bruised lips to keep your hungry moans to yourself. You wouldn't say no if he lowered his trousers and shoved his hardness into your pussy since even his hands felt so amazing. You would simply let him fuck you. 

Without saying anything, he played with your clit for a brief while before pushing a finger inside without warning. As if you were supposed to take him the way he wished, his finger moved with such ease. He kept an extremely close eye on your reaction. You wanted to get rid of panties and sweatpants so you could move freely beneath him, but his powerful hands prevented you from moving at all. He didn't even need to attempt to get you to come; you could come at any time.

It would be safer if you injected yourself with Temp-V for your first sex after a lengthy period of time apart, but it was hard for Soldier Boy not to take himself in hand and fuck you. He would not risk it without you using Temp-V, although he was usually very cautious when you fucked. He didn't want to be concerned about hurting you while you fucked. You needed that Temp-V. 

His finger continued to move inside you, and he asked, “You like this?” Seeing you in such need and desperation beneath him must have thrilled him. 

With an “I'm not sure,” you continued to tease him even though you were on the verge of losing your mind from how intense you were feeling at the time. “Need more.”

“You are greedy, aren't you?” In a gruff voice, he continued, “Let's see what I can do about this.” You guessed he thought you were challenging him. That was good.

This time, you both gasped as he pushed another finger inside. He had thick, rough fingers. Your eye watered with pleasure and intensity, and your hole felt so little in comparison to his two big fingers. You started pleading, “Please.”

He began to fuck you rough with two fingers while his jaw tightened. His fingers glided into you with ease since you were sufficiently slippery, but you stiffened up as he began to get a bit too quick and harsh. You started to panic and said, “Careful!” You put your hands on the abdomen as if you were prepared to shove him at any moment. However, he refused to move at all.

“Calm down!”

You closed your eyes as soon as your walls constricted, and you let out a loud moan as you experienced your orgasm before he could add a third finger. While your legs were trembling like a leaf, he kept fucking you with his fingers. You wondered how his cock would feel inside of you because his fingers felt absolutely amazing. As you rode your osgasm properly, Soldier Boy kept fucking you with his fingers while keeping his gaze fixed on you, watching you closely.

He believed he could come in his boxers right there since you looked so lovely and beautiful when you gave yourself all to the pleasure.

It was a feeling he had missed. He had missed seeing you take everything from him the way you needed. He had missed hearing your heartbeat and seeing you grow pleased. You still belonged to him. No matter what, that would never change. Soldier Boy hadn't planned your first night together in your house weeks earlier to be like this, and while it wasn't the ideal scenario, it was still good enough.

Soon, everything will be fine.

When you eventually opened your eyes after riding your orgasm, you noticed Soldier Boy staring at you seriously. When you were really sensitive, he slowly removed his fingers from your pussy. As he tugged up your panties and pajamas, your pulse was pounding wildly. You were unsure on how to proceed at this point. 

He immediately stopped you as you put your shaky hands in his sweatpants to let out his cock and offer him the same pleasure he gave you. You gave him a perplexed expression. “Let me..”

He interrupted you right away, saying, “Enough for today.” He surprised you by placing a hard kiss on your forehead before you were able to react. 

“I'm alright,” you said, puzzled by his changed attitude. After all, you had been teasing another one since the morning. There was no reason for stopping. “We can continue. I mean it.”

Soldier Boy took a deep breath and swiftly moved your hands away from his throbbing cock. He understood that in order to avoid offending you, he had to be honest with you at this moment. Not because he didn't want it. He was about to lose his mind. “We should get some sleep. If not, I'll end up breaking your hips and bones. For the first time in a long time, I don't trust myself at the moment.”

It was the best way he could describe the issue, and he didn't want to come off as threatening. He wasn’t good at expressing himself anyway.

“Oh,” you simply muttered.

Soldier Boy had made up his mind, but you didn't want to let him be dissatisfied while his hardness continued to give signals to you. Breathing deeply, he returned to his side on the bed and pulled you into his embrace, placing your head on his warm chest. By then, you were all right.

Your head was resting on his warm chest, and you couldn't help but smile as a wave of happiness and security washed over you, making you feel better than before. You loved the feeling of being in his strong arms. You couldn't help but bring your body closer to his, as though there were just a single gap between you.

He listened to your heart pounding with delight and said, “Satisfied and happy, huh?” in a playful tone. Soldier Boy couldn't help but feel the same way as he felt your exhilaration and unexpected joy in his arms. Uncontrollably, his arms grew tighter around your entire body.

You questioned innocently, “It's not so bad, isn't it? I guess we are good like this. Not as awful as you believe, right?” In less than three months, he might decide that you were okay even if you had no memory of anything at all. Perhaps he would reconsider about giving your new self a chance. He could perhaps fall in love with you again.

Soldier Boy kissed your head firmly and with a heavy heart. He couldn't deny that he was perplexed about what was happening between you and that his thoughts and feelings were in chaos. He just knew that he would not allow your memories to fade. No manner what. He decided not to say mean things and destroy your happiness at that time. Letting your memories just fade away would be a betrayal of everything you had built together.

He only said, “Not so bad,” recalling your final days together, which had been months ago. His heart longed for what he craved in you. He missed you.

You allowed your body to rest a little bit under Soldier Boy's strong arms after he gave you an encouraging response, and you closed your eyes peacefully as happiness caused your heart to race with relief and relaxation.

Next Chapter

⋆──⛥──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──⛥──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──⛥──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──⛥──⋆

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[thesilmarillionblog]

When’s the next remembrance update? Love your writing so much

I'm currently writing the 9th part of Remembrance and I'll post it this week. Thank you so much! 💜

[thesilmarillionblog]

ANGEL IN DISGUISE

Summary: When Dean gives you a Halloween party explanation, he also gives you a gift: a pair of wings for his angel.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Angel! Reader

Warnings: +18! (light smut), fluff, naive reader, wing kink!!!, soft, teasing, reader has a praise kink, sub!dean

Word Count: 2917

A/N: English is not my first language.

🎃── Halloween Special One-Shot ──🎃

“Can you help me with these pumpkins, sweetie?” While he was having a hard time making a beautiful decoration for Halloween Week, Dean asked with a chuckle. He had been asking for your help, but all you were doing was smiling as you enjoyed the view while watching him. Every time he scooped a pumpkin to give it a form, his muscles stretched out, giving his hands and arms an appealing look. 

You finally got off of the chair and said, “What are the pumpkins for?” as you looked deeply into the eyes of the pumpkin and the lights within. If you touched them, you could make them look brighter. 

“It is only aesthetic for the week of Halloween. They'll be put in the garden.” Dean kept cutting, attempting to make it clear that they are meant to seem frightening.

You laughed out loud despite being confused by the whole idea, “They don't look scary to me.” You couldn't help but feel happy since you would be spending your first Halloween together as a couple with Dean. You lit the newly cut pumpkin that Dean had just made. Your heart seemed to burst with happiness as he glanced at you with pride and affection.

“Nothing is scary for you, isn't it?” Dean immediately gave you a very gentle slap on your ass, making you jump. He shot you a look as you gave him a more powerful spanking through his pants on the ass. He appeared to be in pain.

“Someday, I should give your perty ass a more serious spanking. You really need to learn a lesson. I am telling you.”

You teased him, “I can make your pain go away,” as you hurried to hug him from behind in between laughs. You tuck your head behind his massive arms and wrap your arms around his abdomen. It was difficult for him to do his job while you were being naughty. You enjoyed touching as well as teasing him. It was uncomfortable to watch Dean occupied with anything other than you since he had been battling with pumpkins since the morning. You should have been doing different things. 

“How?” Dean arched an eyebrow and said, “Will you kiss my ass?”

“Do you want me to?” You asked confused since you couldn't tell most of the time if he was being serious or joking. It was not necessary to give him a real kiss to soothe his pain, but if that was his desire, you might fulfill it with joy. He had a lovely ass. 

“Oh God,” he shook his head and moaned. When you took Dean seriously, he couldn't stop chuckling. 

“Don't bring the Lord when we are talking such things, Dean,” you said. He had an excellent connection with words, but he needed to have made more use of them by praying. “Do you really want me to kiss your ass though?” 

Grinning, you met his gaze and held it there until he turned to face you. While he was quietly laughing and confusing you even more, Dean jumped when you held his ass behind his back, signaling that you were about to unzip him and plant a kiss there. 

“Hold on,” he laughed. “Of course, it wasn't what I meant. Plus, you don't have very tough hands.”

“Okay, you lost the chance. You were on the verge of crying there; don't lie to me.” With a murmur of disappointment, you released his ass. “Also, you should not challenge an angel. I could give you one slap and turn your tight ass scarlet.” Of course, you wouldn't do it. 

He grinned at you and released his abdomen, allowing you to see whether you could help him with his pumpkins. “I wouldn't dare,” he said. “Have some mercy, woman.”

“See?” you asked, holding out a little pumpkin that you had lit up and presenting it to Dean. “I'm not always useless. I can apply whatever color you like to make it shine.”

You asked, “What do people do on Halloween?” with curiosity. You had never heard of such a concept before, so you were excitedly awaiting his response, thinking that it would be something amusing for couples like you and Dean. 

“We dress up and pretend like we're somebody else or something.” Dean stared at the pumpkin you were holding proudly and attempted to explain, “You're free to wear anything you like, even if it's weird.” It seemed like you were showing off your power as you continued to brighten them. 

“Why?” 

“It's only a concept, sweetie, and Halloween parties are actually really enjoyable. Trust me. Wearing masks that hide your face, making it impossible for others to recognize you, so that—” Dean abruptly stopped himself before trying to spark jealousy in you, remembering the last Hallowen part he had joined. 

“Hmm,” you said, setting the pumpkin on the table while acting understanding. “Give me an example.”

After taking a breath and placing his knife on the table, Dean turned to face you and wrapped his arms over your belly. Right away, your arms found his neck and pressed your body against his. He had neglected you due to the pointless special week and pumpkins. 

He put his fingers on your ass through your pajamas and said, “For example,” which made you thrilled. “Do you recall the film we saw the week before? Shrek. Fans of the film and its characters can dress up like them. In addition, a large number of people cosplay as angels and devils. They're wearing wings on their backs.”

Crossing your arms across your chest, you scowled. “Real angels don't wear fake wings.” Then you continued to embrace Dean while attempting to justify your explanation, saying things like, “Our wings are magnificent, and none of those people have seen a real angel in their lives.” 

You added, “Demon's wings are simply ugly, but it depends on their rank, of course,” with a chuckle, before Dean said a thing. “Some of their wings are big and very thick. Actually incredibly excellent.” It wasn't appropriate of you to vocally confess that you admired some of their wings, but you spoke before you thought it through. 

Dean grimaced as you gave him an ashamed look. “Thick and big, huh?” he said, obviously annoyed by your oversharing. 

“To be honest, they are hideous. I loathe them. Not my taste,” you hugged him closer and stressed each word in an attempt to shift the topic. You did your best to lift his mood again by playing with the buttons on his shirt. “Since you're my boyfriend, I just like you the way you are. I take it that my wings are enough for the two of us.”

He gave you a quick kiss on the nose and said, “That's my girl,” which stunned you. It was dirty things you needed, not Halloween stuff. You sighed with anticipation as your mind was flooded with filthy images, and you continued to fiddle with the buttons of Dean's shirt, hoping he wouldn't be decorating pumpkins any longer. 

Dean remarked, “Just because you're being a nice angel,” and he briefly kissed you on the lips. “Now close your eyes.”

“Why?”

Dean said, “Just close them,” and waited for you to obey him. You closed your eyes eagerly while your mind raced with dirty ideas, wanting Dean to take action soon.

He continued to tell you not to open your eyes as you heard him go one step further. After a while, you became a bit upset and raised your voice, vowing not to. It was like he was trying to get under your skin on purpose.

You were about to get angry when you heard Dean was returning. You couldn't help but feel excited. Your body was prepared for everything.

Dean said, “All right, you can open your eyes now.”

You were perplexed to see two artificial little wings on his hands, but you didn't want to ruin his joy. Asking, “What's that?” you gently touched the white feather on it. 

“I assumed we could go to a Halloween party together. It must be fun and interesting for you to cosplay as an angel. See those plumes.” With excitement, Dean gave an explanation. 

You joyfully grabbed the wings from him and examined the feather on it on your own since he appeared to be thrilled. You didn't want to offend Dean, even if the wings were all fake and your wings were more beautiful than those small ones. After all, it was a gift, and he couldn't create real ones for you. He was extremely considerate, in fact. 

With a wide smile on your face and your pulse pounding with delight at the thought that he had truly planned to take you to a party and even bought you something, you gave him a firm embrace and left him breathless with a long kiss. 

“It's really beautiful. Thank you,” you said, giving him a timid grin that made you happy to see as he exhaled deeply in relief. 

“Don't mention it, babe.” 

You sat on the couch and played with the feather. Dean followed you. You continued to grasp his lovely present as he drew you closer into his arms and placed your head on his chest. You could see he was proud of himself, even if he didn't say it, since he knew he thought well of gifting such a thing. 

You lifted your head to see his response and said, “But don't you think my wings are prettier?” To avoid his becoming used to it, you had just once displayed yours. It was something he had to earn. Well, that was a lie. If he wanted to see it, you would show them straight immediately.

“Yours are wonderful, of course. They're larger,” said Dean. He was aware that your wings were far greater than the ones he had given you.

With pride and happiness in your heart, you gently placed the wings on the coach before turning to face Dean. “And?”

Dean gave you a wide grin as he licked his lips and said, “I didn't know angels had a praise kink,” as you swiftly got on top of him.

“And?” you asked. When he complimented you on your wings and everything else, you absolutely loved it. 

Dean put his arms around your abdomen and rolled his eyes, trapping you in his grasp. You could break free at any time, but you enjoyed his behavior when it was this way: passionate and possessive. 

He then added, “And,” which made you gasp in anticipation. Dean's lips curled as you slightly moved on his lap. His body underneath you seemed prepared for whatever it was you had planned to offer him. 

He was mostly dominating when you had sex, but you knew he was satisfied when you were in control, above him, and at your mercy. It was beyond words to watch him enjoy himself beneath you and know that it was you who was making him feel that way. Dean signaled for you to move by slipping his hands to your hips. You felt him becoming hard under you too, as he peered through your top at your stiffened nipples. You had been waiting for this time since the morning, and at last you were going to do something better.

You urged, “Come on, tell me,” as you began to rub yourself his cock. You could still feel his hardness beneath you, but it would be nicer if he wasn't wearing his sweatpants. Dean reached to put his hands on your tits, but you swiftly stopped him and put them back on your hips. 

He was obviously disappointed not to touch you because he needed it, as seen by his clenched jaw. But he needed a lesson. 

When your hips on his cock began to move quickly, he groaned, “I'm at a loss for words.” He smiled and pulled you by your back to his body so your nipples touched his chest. “If you come closer a little...” This time, you didn't resist him. 

“Like this?” you inquired, abruptly stopping on top of him to make him a little go crazy.

Dean awaited your next move. You dropped your top and exposed your tits to his sight just as he was ready to urge you for more. He always found joy in looking at you with that kind of intensity, as though he wanted to touch every inch of your body. He obviously wanted to. Repositioning your hands on his shoulders, you lifted his chin and met his eyes. He was aching under you, but you'd take what you wanted as well.

“Your wings are,” Dean said playfully. “Softer, nicer, more beautiful, perfect, lovely.” He would have laughed at you, seeing how happy you become with every compliment, if he weren't suffering under you. 

His attractive face was seized by your hands on his chest, and you gave him a frantic kiss. When you grabbed his hands and indicated for him to gently stroke your back, where your wings ought to be, Dean was smling on your lips. You became wetter on him the more he stroked your spine. You couldn't stop groaning into his lips because your back and spine were arching with such ecstasy. When Dean began pressing his fingers there, his smile vanished, seeing you getting pleasure.

Just by stroking your back, he was going to ruin you. 

You were ready to experience pleasure together when you made the decision to reveal your wings to him again because it was Halloween. You paused to let him catch his breath. “You're a very generous angel today, aren't you?” he said after really feeling your wings between both of his hands. Dean groaned as he took a little back to better see your gigantic wings. 

You said, “Just because you're generous too,” and allowed him to touch you because he seemed to like it. 

“Is there anything you want me not to do?” Since you weren't displaying your wings very much and you let Dean touch you on a regular basis, he didn't know what exactly to do. Since your relationship was new, this was your chance to move forward. You trusted him with your life. Your spine tingled with excitement as you realized that both of your bodies were covered with your wings, and he was in awe. 

With joy, you closed your eyes as his fingertips found every inch on your wings. This is something you ought to have allowed him to do from the very beginning. You leant back in pleasure and let out a loud moan as soon as he touched a sensitive spot. Without knowing if he hurt you or not, Dean's hands stopped right away. 

“Don't stop!” Pushing him to continue, you took his hand and placed it in the same location. “Press your fingers a little harder.”

“You're a horny angel, aren't you?” Dean moaned as you began to roll your hips on his hard cock, skillfully caressing the sensitive area, as if he knew just what to do. Each move you made had your tits bouncing. He needed to take care of your wings before he could touch and lick your tits, as you could sense, or else you would lose your mind soon.

“Just for you,” you said with approval as you met his green eyes directly. Your cheeks were flushed with delight. “More.”

"Damn right. Good girl,” he praised once more, making your heart melt with bliss and desire. “Come on, you're almost there.”

Dean encouraged you to move on him quicker by applying more pressure on your hips on his cock with your hips as your moans became louder. He didn't close his eyes while you were experiencing such incredible pleasure that your wings were moving wildly. It was getting hotter by the way he was staring at you, almost as if he were worshipping you. You wanted him to love you as much as you loved him, to cherish and adore you. 

You screamed out “Dean!” as your orgasm hit powerfully. Your spine arched with the intensity of the moment, your legs and even your wings trembling wildly. You knew your underwear had been ruined and your walls were squeezing around nothingness. 

He began to spill into his boxers with a muffled sigh when  your climax triggered his as well. It was both fascinating and existing to see him ruin his sweatpants with his seed.

When you both came to your senses, Dean kissed your forehead, stroked your wings tenderly, and drew you even nearer. You asked, “What now?” as Dean adjusted your top.

As he was still gasping for air, Dean grinned at you since you were so enthusiastic and prepared to go all the way. He didn't move, although he felt somewhat hot under your wings. 

He moved your body a bit closer to him and stated, “I need to take a shower, obviously.” He felt like a teenager knowing he just came in his boxers, but it was satisfying. 

“Do angels wash their wings?” abruptly asked Dean. 

His silly question made you laugh so hard you couldn't stop. You waited for his response after answering, “If you want to know the answer, we can shower together.” Under the water, you could feel each other far more strongly and deeply. 

Dean licked his lips and grinned at you, saying, “Well, I can't wait to find out the answer then. Just for scientfic reasons.”

It's a silly little one-shot, but let me know what you think please. Hehehe. You can check my MASTERLIST for more.