thinking-spearingly - Tumblr blog

[thinking-spearingly]

My brother just made my day. I'll start this of by saying, I'm not skinny. I'm not overweight anymore but I'm not skinny by any means. I'm like the exact center of the bmi scale and I made a joke about fasting for lent and this boy says "your already skinny enough" bear in mind he lanky af and I retorted with "tahts q lot coming from you" in a jokey tone cuz it was meant as an insult. But this means that an actual skinny person saw me as skinny!!

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Why can't there be studyspo the same way that there is thinspo. I need to pass my gcse's just as much as I need to be skinny.

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Pov: someone qt ur all girls school points out you havent eaten lunch

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02/11/22

Period bloating is a bitch.

[thinking-spearingly]

Day 8:

2/11/22

I always do a plank workout and have been doing so for over a month. I've started doing a yoga routine daily and on days when I can get away with working out downstairs I do q workout for specifically loosing weight

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01/11/22

Today I fasted and was still able to work out at the end of the day. I have just hit 24 hours and now I'm going to sleep but my mums gonna make me eat breakfast. I weighed today for and even tho I had lost I didn't feel like I had lost enough and I am absolutely blaming the apple crumble. I'm so mad it wasn't even that good as well. Also my friends is literally the sweetest person and since I couldn't celebrate Halloween she brought me sweets in a little gift bag so I'm going to have one of those sweets a day before I do workouts because I love my friend more tahn I hate my body.

[thinking-spearingly]

Day 7:

1/11/22

My dad know I'm trying to loose weight but don't realise the extent of it. My mum is a bit more suspicious buy I don't think she is too concerned. If they did know I don't know how they would react. In fact I think my dad is one of those people who believes you need to be super skinny to have an eating disorder anyway so I don't even know

[thinking-spearingly]

🎃31/10/22🎃

Today 2as my first time counting in over a week and it started of well with 0 for breakfast and 265 for lunch. Then I went to my grandma's for tea. It went pretty down hill from there. The tea it self was 454 cals which would have been fine bit then she pulled out dessert. It was apple crumble and as I was eating it I asked her for the recipe and Jesus Christ. 405cals is what I calculated. However I was still able to stay under my limit (I use "loose it") cuz of working out. I'm exited for tommorow cuz I'm fasting and then I'm able to weigh in the evening. At least I haven't gorged my self on candy like I did last Halloween (I'm at my dad's and he doesn't let us celebrate it).

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Day 6:

31/10/28

It's usually because of other things in my life. Either my friends or my family being stressful. Probably a way for me to try and zone them out is to keep my brain occupied with food. I'm moving to what I hope will be a less stressful friend group now tho and its far easier to zone out my family now that I'm a bit smarter so hopefully me binging (whilst probably inevitable) won't be happening frequently

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Day 5:

30/10/22

This is such a basic answer but I want to feel pretty. I have never been pretty my entire life, I've always been "smart", "whitty", "kind" and "caring" (these aren't my own words by the way) but I have never been pretty, dainty or elegant and I want to know what it's like.

My dad also said I would never be skinny a year ago and I want to prove him wrong. Stay petty.

[thinking-spearingly]

30/10/22

Today started out good and ended up me. I Sskipped breakfast but then had a jacket potato with cheese and a shit ton of butter (I didn't make it) for lunch then for tea me and my dad made veggie sausage casserole and I almost cried (not even joking) when I saw how much old he put in the pan. I then had a yogurt for desert cuz I hate myself. I was only able to do two work outs today, anyway I'm exited for tommorow cuz I'm gonna start counting again. I'm not gonna skip lunch tho cuz I told my friends I wa recovering still gonna portion tho.

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Day 4:

29/10/22

I'm worried that it will be more obvious when I bloat. I'm worried about staying at that weight. I'm worried taht I'm going to end up hating food because I love food I just don't like the fact that it makes me fat. It's been a comfort for me for years and I know tahts part of the problem. I'm worried taht people will start to view me as more femenim and more fragile but whilst I say that today, tommorow I may love the idea of being scene as femenim and fragile. I'm worried that people will look at me and assume I'm anorexic and there for take me less seriously and baby me.

[thinking-spearingly]

29/10/22

Today was OK considering we were eating out. I was able to get away with a bite of an apple for breakfast, was given a veggie burger (nothing on it) for lunch which I did eat all of which I know I'll hate my self for next time I way. Then eating out with my family I hot the only veggie option and also the lowest cal thing on the menu which was about 500. Then the rest of my family got dessert and I said I didn't want one despite the fact that they kept offering me buts of theirs I still said no and I'm proud of my self for that, I'm aware it's the bear minimum but at least I'm doing that.

[thinking-spearingly]

28/10/22

Day 3: I can't rlly find a picture of what I'm looking for so I'll just describe it. I want to look effortlessly thin. I don't want to look like my thinness is the product of not eating or hard work. I want my stomach to look like I am wearing a corset and I was my colar bone to be the most defined thing you have ever seen. I'd like my legs to bee thin enough so that when I sit in a small seat and squidgy my legs down they don't spill over the edges.

Edit: I take it back I have a picture now

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28/10/22

Today started out good. I weighed myself and had lost over one and a half kg's in two days and I felt like I was getting back on track however, today is my brothers birthday, we went out for brunch which at least nocked out two meals at once but there was nothing low cal so I ended up having two (my mum ate the third for me) mocha (I'm so sorry that is probs not how you spell it) green tea pancakes. When we got home we had cake which I requested and received a tiny slice of. Then when we git to my dad's we decided on having dominoz which I had 3 prices of. I know tahts a lot but less would have looked suspicious to my fam and its less than I would have had two monthes ago. Once again my brothers birthday is ruining my plans of being skinny as tommorow my dad is taking us out for a pub tea instead of doing a "religous fast" which we had agreed on earlier in the week. Also being at my dad's means I can't weigh for 5 days although it will be easier to skip out on meals whilst I'm here. Hopefully I can re schedule the "religious" fast with him.

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Tumblr is so funny to me after redownloading it cuz when I go on my for you section it is either TOH fluff or the most triggering ed shit anyone ever saw and there is no in between.

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I'm gonna try and start cooking my own dinners (I'm 15 and my parents make me eat dinner so I don't really have a choice on skipping) can anyone recommend some actually low calorie recipes I can use?

Edit: I'm vegetarian