tithonusramble

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Im very involved in my own story,

i just gotta know what happens next

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Her eyes are my brightest light

His laugh makes my heart warmer

They make me a better person

Every version—every image—every shape

I love every side of them

Forever

My shining NorthStar

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I want you to know me

I want you to see me

I want you to love me

Inside and out

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I keep doing this to myself

I don’t act right

I don’t say anything

I can’t think of anything

And then I’m upset

Upset with myself

Rolling in despair

That I have nothing to say

Nothing to think

Nothing to share

I want to feel fine

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What could i possibly do

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I want to do this for you but my brain won’t make the words for my mouth to say

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Some dog ate my feelings

I haven’t felt the same

Some dog at my depression

I haven’t cried today

Some dog ate my wonder

I haven’t thought that way

Some dog ate my worries

I haven’t seen myself

Some dog ate my humor

I haven’t laughed all day

Some dog ate my homework

Now that’s just silly to say.

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Home has never felt like anything

It’s always been a tricky word

Home is a place,

Home is an idea,

Home is a state of mind

I never felt home anywhere

But I feel it with you.

I never want to leave your side because the home I feel is with you.

For the first time, in what feels like forever

I can know what it means to be home.

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Is it depression, is it the weed, is it anxiety or am I just hungry

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My throat is full of tar.

It drips down and sticks to my ribs like peanut butter.

It congests and twists inside and I cannot stop the slow move of it.

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This creature loves me.

Few creatures have shown unconditional love like it does towards me.

The feeling is overwhelming.

This creature loves me.

Inviting from the cold, I shelter her.

The creature cannot shelter me from the outside and yet it feels so warm.

This creature loves me.

This creature is loud and demanding, screaming for things that it wants.

Whatever this creature wants, it can have.

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I find it lurking underneath my skin.

I can feel it in every breath—every move.

It stalks me,

It creeps up to me,

It is everywhere I go.

I shake, I sweat, I quiver, I want to throw up.

I feel disgusting.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

But it won’t stop.

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Oh shit, I think i have a sick idea for a sapphic horror story

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Late night, under the stars

my cat stares from the window.

My back is cold, touching the concrete

I breathe in the starving smoke from my pipe.

Why am I not whole in this moment?

What is wrong..

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My love,

This year has had its ups and downs, but every part that you have been in it has been some of the best. You are my light, my shining star, my glow, my world.

I love you so much and I’m so excited to see where our next year brings us.

I love seeing you light up about some manga you have been reading or just when you get passionate about anything.

You enchant me. <3

I’m so happy that you’re with me. With every choice I’ve made, they’ve led me to you—so it was all worth it.

There’s no place I’d rather be than with you.

I love you more than words can say.

There is more beauty in everyday now that I’m with you.

I love you so much,

my starlight,

my sweet,

my love.

Yours,

___ <3

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There is more beauty in everyday now that I’m with you.

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I hope you live a long life. Despite wanting to die now, I hope you live. Live and regret all your choices and decisions. I hope you regret all the shit you put me through and I hope you hate yourself everyday that you live. I hope you live in lonely misery. You did this to yourself. I would have stayed but I’ve reached my limit. Everyone has.

I hope you live.