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It's our eleventh anniversary, and Dave has brought us a special bit of lunacy for me to sink my teeth into to celebrate... Read, share and enjoy :D

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Stupid arguments are a lot like sand... They're coarse, irritating, they get everywhere and I don't like them. Read, share and enjoy :D

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Will the theory be Gold(enEye), or will it just Skyfall flat on its face?

Well, I'm writing about it, so take a wild guess...

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An article about a mystical macguffin and a character that put the ”Ass” in ”Asgardian”.

This'll be interesting.

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New year, new possibilities, but idiocy remains through the ages... Read, share and enjoy :D

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A Merry Christmas to all, and to all a genuinely good movie! Read, Share and Enjoy :D

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Another year, another instance of me sharing this article. Believe it or not, even 10 years after writing it, I am indeed still *banging* on about it!

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Theories so maddening, it's hard to tell Witch is Witch! ...No, I'm not apologizing. Read, share and enjoy :D

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Bad things happen, and there's nothing you can do about it... Except furiously rant and rave, of course. That is, after all, my responsibility... Read, share and enjoy :D

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Hard to believe it's really been 10 years of ranting, raving, nitpicking and griping, isn't it? So let's celebrate it with something simple and relaxing for once, shall we? Read, share and enjoy :D

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Just a random Disney AU idea

Deep in the Indian jungle, Shere Khan, the mighty tiger, strides through the undergrowth. His mind, as ever, is focused on getting his hands on the man-cub Mowgli. He has proven elusive so far... but Shere Khan is a hunter. He knows how to bide his time... All he needs is a trail to follow, and then-

His musings are interrupted by rustling in the bushes. He turns to the sudden sound... and sees Bagheera, the Panther, leap out between the trees, with a weirdly panicked look in his eyes. Shere Khan prepares to pounce, when Bagheera notices him, and stops, catching his breath.

"Shere Khan! You..." He's panting heavily "You need to get out of here!" "Oho" the tiger chuckles "You mean to order me around, Bagheera? How quaint. Now, as tempted as I am to agree, how about you instead tell me where that man-cub has gone, and I promise I'll let you leave in more or less one piece" He punctuates his threat by baring his teeth in a sinister grin.

Bagheera just stares at him, and then slowly moves closer "No, Shere Khan. You don't get it. I'm not trying to order you, I'm actually trying to warn you. you need to leave. You have NO idea what's coming! There's a ship down at the beach." "HA!" Shere Khan throws his head back in a scornful laugh "A ship, you say? Some measly humans come for a pleasure cruise? Then maybe I should give them a proper welcome!" He saunters away, flicking his tail in mockery at the still panicked Bagheera.

"No! You don't understand!" The panthers protestations trail off as Shere Khan moves swiftly towards the beach. First the man-cub dares to intrude, and now a bunch of tourists think the jungle will be their playground? No, this will not stand. It's time for the humans to learn to respect the lord of the jungle. Finally, he arrives at at the edge of the forest, his mind swirling with deliciously sinister ways to make these tourists pay for intruding. It doesn't take him long to see the ship Bagheera talked about. A handsomely sized pleasure cruise. Not even a packing ship or something. And on deck, a couple of figures are sitting around. Easy prey to a hunter of his caliber. All he needs to do is wait for nightfall, and they will become his...

Meanwhile, aboard the ship, one of the figures, a tall, middle aged woman in a burgundy summer dress, is sitting in a deck chair, sipping on a glass of sherry.

"For the love of God, Mim, would you stop hiding under that parasol like a child. A little sun won't hurt you." Her voice is sharp and with the slightest hint of an accent to it, and she's turns to look at a short stocky woman, with an unruly mop lavender hair, is sitting in underneath a big umbrella, her arms folded and her snub nosed face contorted in a frustrated scowl. The stocky woman glares at her.

"That's easy for you to say Tremaine. You know I hate the sun! I'm used to nice overcast skies!" Her voice is surprisingly high for her size. "Are you sure I can't make just one little rain cloud? A bit of thunder and-"

"Don't you dare!" they both turn to look at another figure, a woman with sickly complexion and a face covered in wrinkles, lying in a deck chair, dressed in a flamboyant headress and wearing a thin, purple one piece bathing suit. She pulls down her oversized sunglasses, and looks at Mim "This is the first decent weather we've had all week, and I'm finally starting to feel at home." Mim gives them both a weary sigh "Well, I was told we would go to the deepest darkest jungles, Yzma! I was expecting snakes and salamanders and all kinds of lovely creepy crawlies! Had I known this is what we'd be doing, I never would have agreed to come!" She looks to the sky, scowling again. "Oooh, if only I was back in my nice, damp, muggy cabin, instead of here on this... sunny pleasant tropical beach! I can almost feel my sinuses clear up! It's awful!"

Tremaine rolls her eyes "Well, if you're lucky, there might be some horrible parasites in the waters here, or some flying pests with rabies..."

Mim looks at her with an almost wistful look "You really think so?"

Suddenly, the doors to the cabin open, and a thick, noxious cloud of cigarette smoke billows out.

"Come on, Mim, cheer up. I've talked to the captain, and he tells us we're finally here!" The woman struts out onto the deck, revealing a tall, almost skeletally skinny figure, holding a foul smelling cigarette in a long mouthpiece. Her hair is parted in the middle, one side black and the other white, and she's wearing a black-and-white two piece bikini, underneath a zebra-themed bathrobe, hanging loosely over her gaunt frame. She takes a deep breath, taking in the smell of the jungle, and walks over to the railing, looking at greenery in front of her.

"I've been looking forward to this for over two months, girls. We've travelled halfway across the world to get here, and now we're so close to our goal!"

Tremaine gets up and strolls up to the woman. "Your goal, you mean? I just came for the chance of a tropical vacation, myself. I still think we should have gone to the riviera, myself. Though I guess this is a more rational choice than that coat made of dog fur you were talking about"

The skinny woman waves her hand, dismissingly "Yes, yes, that was just a passing whim. I thought it might be the next big thing, but fashion is a fickle world, it seems. I forgot the cardinal rule of high fashion: Unusual is good. Exclusive is better."

Tremaine leans onto the railing, gazing at the jungle. "So you decided to bring us all across the world, just for the sake of you getting a new fur coat? Look, Cruella, I don't mind the vacation, but it seems a bit... excessive, don't you think?"

"Well, what's the fun in just buying a pelt in from a supplier? No, I want the most exclusive, and money is no object here"

Shere Khan listens intently, and chuckles to himself. A bunch of pampered socialites, coming all this way, just to get themselves a pelt? Well, if it's a wild beast they want, that's what they'll get. He gives the stocky woman a hungry smile. The others are all a bit too lean, but he'll savor that one. Should he save her for last, or maybe take her first, just to see the others scream in terror? He smiles to himself as he turns back into the jungle, to find a place to wait. Just you wait, ladies. Soon, you'll get what you're after and more. Just you-

Suddenly the air is pierced by Cruella putting two fingers in her mouth and giving out a sharp whistle. Yzma sits up with a start, and Mim falls off her chair, clasping her hands over her ears. Shere Khan turns around as well at the sudden noise.

The next moment, the door on the side of the ship is kicked open with a loud metallic klank. Three figures emerge from the ship and walk out onto the beach. One of them, apparently the leader, turns around and looks up at Cruella from under the brim of his large slouch hat. He gives her a toothy grin.

"Gentlemen! I've hired you because I wanted the three best hunters money could buy, and from what I've hear, that's you. Now, I'm paying you handsomely to get me what I want, and I expect to get my moneys worth. Do I make myself clear?"

"It's clear as rain, Lady!" The man's voice is hoarse and gravely, but also filled with excitement. "Me and the boys'll get ya what ya want, so long as the moolah's good!"

The second man, a broadchested man in a pale safari suit, surveys the jungle in front of him, ponderingly stroking his thin black moustache. "Agreed. I had my fair share of experience with jungles. This shouldn't be much of a problem at all."

The third man, equally muscular, with a large blunderbuss slung over his shoulders, stretches his muscles, which strain under the shor sleeved red shirt he's wearing. he strokes back his long black hair and adjusts the band keeping it in a ponytail. "Of course not, Clayton. Why would it be a problem? I'm here, aren't I?"

Cruella gives them a satisfied smile, as Yzma and Mim walk over to the railing, next to Tremaine and Cruella, staring at the three men in awe.

"Perfect! In that case, Mr. McLeach, Mr. Clayton, Mr. Gaston, You've got a job to do. Get to work! First person to find it gets a 20% bonus to their pay" Cruella points at the jungle with a sinister smile, which sends a cold chill down Shere Khans spine, even at that distance.

"Right you are, Ma'am!" McLeach turns around, loading up his rifle. "You heard that, mates? Boss lady's given us the go ahead... You know what that means?"

Clayton and Gaston also load up their weapons, grinning in agreement.

"Then let's get going, gentlemen..." McCleach racks the rifle "We got us a tiger to kill..."

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This might upset some Star Wars-fans, to which I say... Good. Let the hate flow through you!

Also, read, share and enjoy :D

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Sometimes I wonder if I cover idiotic theories out of pride in my work or because I'm just a glutton for punishment... Read, share and enjoy :D

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Whether it be Western or West Country, I'm afraid my opinion is sadly very south facing either way.

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It seems that like a phoenix from the ashes, stupid theories about Harry Potter return without end... Read, share and enjoy :D

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Am I really gonna do nitpicks about Hitman? Well, I DO believe in ”Malus Necessarium”, after all... Read, share and enjoy :D

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It's a new year, with unknown new horizons, but fear not! Silly theories remain as pervasive as ever… for better or worse.

Read, share and enjoy :D