truedarkbard

[truedarkbard]

lol

okokokokokokokokok

so like, you're party aren't noobs. When you realized that you were tracking down a werewolf, you made a pitstop at the nearest sizable town to get your weapons silvered.

Eventually you catch up to the beast, and, after a long and harrowing battle, you get the lycanthrope on deaths doors.

With a firm lunge, you thrust into the werewolf's heart, only to find your weapon slides off the ribcage, mysteriously deflected by some unknown force.

Taking use of your shock, the werewolf lunges forward. You close your eyes, fearing that your time had come, but it merely licks one of the many, many stream's of blood that run down your cloths.

Suddenly energized, the werewolf jumps into the air, where it morphs into a bat and escapes into the night.

BAM! Vampire Lycanthrope. Guess you'll have to silver some stakes now.

[truedarkbard]

No surprise there

[truedarkbard]

Trump’s golf course in Turnberry, Scotland was vandalized overnight by Palestine solidarity activists.

[truedarkbard]

[truedarkbard]

prepping my snack cache and everything

[truedarkbard]

It's a tricky feeling to describe. Excitement, sure, but a single word can not nearly do it justice. It's the bated feeling of satisfaction that rises in your chest as you watch your pet slink closer, looking for cuddles. It's the awe-struck delight found in witnessing a masterpiece being made in front of you. It's the quiet content of lounging around with an old, close friend, without anything being said or done. It's all this and more, but there's a tinge of... something else. A tinge of melancholic nostalgia from listening to a half-remembered lullaby sung by phantom memories from when you were young. Or, perhaps, it's a hint of trepidation, one felt by many yet never acknowledged, the sense of finality that pervades events that end a chapter of your life. It's a big bubbling ball, so maybe excitement is the correct word for it. It's excitement, the wonderous type that enthralls kids on Christmas Eve and makes it feel impossible to sleep. It's the wild, jubilant type that comes with awards and victories and parties, where you just want to whoop and cheer. And it's the heartwarming, fuzzy excitement that bubbles in your chest, as you see someone you care about do what they care about, and do it well enough to win title after title. There's so many worries that pervade today that we forget to enjoy the good, until something so indescribably awesome bitch-slaps us and makes us appreciate it.

So thank you, Mr. Jalapeno. For the memories, the excitement, the introspection, the depth, the experience.

Thank you, Jorge, for something truly EPIC.

[truedarkbard]

[truedarkbard]

[truedarkbard]

Researchers have linked spending more time playing video games with a boost in intelligence in children, which goes some way to contradicting the narrative that gaming is bad for young minds. While the difference in cognitive abilities was a small one and isn't enough to show a causal relationship, it is enough to be notable – and the 2022 study was careful to factor in variables including differences in genetics and the child's socio-economic background. Meanwhile, watching TV and using social media didn't seem to have a positive or negative effect on intelligence. The research should prove useful in the debate over how much screen time is suitable for young minds.

Continue Reading.

[truedarkbard]

What if all of the food gurus and diet planners are just vampires that're cultivating their favorite flavor of blood?

[truedarkbard]

My main EPIC HC is that, because Ody left Circe's island on relatively amicable terms with her, there's a decent chance Elpenor will get a proper (albeit belated) burial. However, this does mean that some poor nymph would have to find his body... a nymph who's presumably not too familiar with death happening to humans/ humanoids. And now I have the image of a young girl using a stick to poke Elpenor's body (which is very wrongly bent at the neck, among other places)...

[truedarkbard]

Why I like Hermes so much:

Helpful dude

Just wants to see drama

OH GOD THE VOICE

Looks out for his great-grandson

Did I mention the voice?

What about the laugh?

Makes sure his great-grandson has work-life balance

Also I totally ship Hermes and Aeolus based off one animatic that had them sitting together during God Games and the fact that he brought the wind bag to Ody, which I refuse to believe means anything other than he personally asked Aeolus to give it to him as a 'favor'.

[truedarkbard]

LOOK WHAT YOU'VE TURNED ME INTO. LOOK WHAT WE'VE BECOME.

[truedarkbard]

[truedarkbard]

Someone mentioned archival purposes and I’m using that as justification for sharing the link. I am also not the first to do so, but if you don’t want to see it just don’t go below the cut :3

[truedarkbard]

Easily my favourite moment in Epic

[truedarkbard]

Something I just realized:

The casualty report for Ody's crew is:

Polyphemus: 7 (or 14 if you're going by the thuds)

Poseidon: 550 (or 543)

Gravity: 1 (RIP Elpnor)

Scylla: 6

Zeus: 36

Interestingly, all of the deaths are from another creature, which means that throughout the 10 year Trojan war and the three years covered from the troy saga-thunder saga (assuming that there's a negligible amount of time between "Thunderbringer" and the first flashback in "Love in Paradise"), during these 13 years, NONE of Ody's men died to illness, disease, injury, accidents, ineptitude, etc.

Of particular note is that no one died during "Storm", which means that ALL of his men survived presumably hurricane-level winds and waves, which not only speaks volumes of Ody's skills as a commander, but also of the skill of the men he commands as well.