ultimateissuessimp

[ultimateissuessimp]

Reading a Logan Howlett/Wolverine fic:

me: sees no specified gender in the tags/overall list of anything

still me: excited thinking i’ve finally found a male/GN!reader fic

write: “female/she/her/woman/girl-“

me:

GODDAMNIT

p.s. to all writers: IF UR GONNA MAKE FEM!READER FICS, SPECIFY ITS FEM!READER!! im SICK and im TIRED of DIGGING THROUGH to have this situation happen over and over!!!! GOOOOD GYATT.

[ultimateissuessimp]

Well, if I was just sexy, then it would be boring, gotta add a little twist to spice shit up and keep you up on your toes 😜❤️

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I'm dead, he's too gorgeous😵

and you're mine, lmao

Posted this, then deleted it. And now here it is again

[ultimateissuessimp]

He looks so good I'm going to pass right the fuck back out again, oh my lawd

[ultimateissuessimp]

First of all, love the new profile pic, but I already miss the Adam one. The new one is such a vibe tho.

NEVER MIND THAT. I COME BEARING IDEAS.

I haven't given you an idea in a long time and that is a crime, sacrilegious crime and I must correct my ways 😤

So :) Adam x Male Reader (Obviously 😌) where they are not together yet and Adam loves to tease Reader because he loves to read comic books (Totally not self insert, lmao). One time Adam goes a bit too far tho and takes Reader's comic book from his hands, basically ripping it out of them and accidentally tearing a few pages since comic books tend to be quite fragile if not handled properly. Reader at first is surprised and annoyed with Adam until he hears the rip of the pages, then he simply stares at the taller angel in shock, forcefully taking back the comic and seeing the damage just to break down in tears, because it was his favourite comic book that he was introduced to when he was still alive by someone who was very dear to him (Either a sibling, a bestfriend, parent, Idk) and gets really upset with Adam, refusing to talk to him. At first Adam being Adam obviously wouldn't get why it was such a big idea since it was just a comic book, he could get another one in Heaven with no problems, but it was the action on its own that made the Reader upset.

Basically some hurt/comfort with a fluffy ending? Please with a cherry on top and thank you 🙏❤️

Love you 💋

Here, have a smiley Sebastian Vettel. Everyone needs to see a smiley Sebastian Vettel at least once in their life ✨

Hehehehehehe love that :3 also so sorry it took me so fucking long to write that but apparently writers block crawled up my ass while I was sleeping

Wordless apologies

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language

note: not beta read bc fuck you

The first man grinned down on you, visibly amused by the sight of you - you had your face buried in your favorite comic book, a passion Adam never truly understood even though you tried to explain it to him. But that was okay, the brunette didn’t need to understand why you liked them, it was enough that you liked comics in general - well, enough to tease you about.

“You’re such a fucking nerd, dude,” Adam groaned, he preteneded to be annoyed about your passion when in realitly he was annoyed by the lack of attention he was receiving from your end - it was simply something he wasn’t used to. Usually the attention was his once he entered the room but you were different. If you had your nose buried in one of your silly little picture books - Adam’s words, not yours - your attention was on said book and said book only and not even the first man himself could change that.

You didn’t respond to his words and that annoyed Adam, it annoyed him very fucking much. Enough to simply grab the fragile book and tear it out of your grip, your first response was an annoyed, “Hey!” as you tried to get it back but then the sound of ripping paper filled the living room you and Adam were sitting in and your body tensed up immediately. A shiver ran through you and you felt how your wings fluffed up a little from the sadness and from the anger that slowly bubbled up inside of you. The look in your eyes was empty as you turned towards Adam, eyeing how he held a single page in one of his hands and the entire book in his other hand. Your eyes flicked from the book to the torn out page and back to the book until your eyes eventually met Adam’s. There was no guilt or remorse in them, just amusement as you heard how a chuckle rumbled through his body, “Looks like I have to get ya a new one.”

You grabbed the book forcefully from Adam, possibly breaking it even more but in that moment you did not care. You also took the single page from Adam, viewing the damage up close as tears slowly started to well up in your eyes. This comic book had been given to you by your best friend back when you were still alive and it had been your favorite ever since. Said best friend did not roam Heaven’s mighty streets like you did, you weren’t sure if he was still alive or if he was in Hell - though him being in Hell did not make any sense to you. The comic Adam had just broken was all you had left of him and now even that was destroyed. Sure you could fix it, you could tape the page back in but that didn’t fix the fact that Adam did not feel guilty in the slightest - fuck, he even found it amusing.

When the brunette noticed how quiet you were he looked at you and you heard how he swallowed hard at the sight of tears welling up in your eyes - you couldn’t bring yourself to feel empathy towards him, not after what he did. Sure, to Adam it seemed like a small deal, like a thing that happened and he could fix it by replacing the book. But that wasn’t the case, this was a problem not even Adam could fix that easily.

“Dude,” Adam spoke up again, his words sounding a little softer yet he kept up the playful and unbothered undertone, “It’s a fucking book, I’ll get you a new one.” But you remained silent, refusing to talk to the taller angel after he broke the only physical thing that reminded you of your best friend. The first man seemed rather frustrated at that, you heard him sigh and out of the corner of your eyes you saw how he took off the mask on his head to actually look at you. “Stop acting like a crybaby, man, it’s easy to replace,” he explained yet again, lifting his hand to rest it on your shoulder and give you some comfort but you pulled away before his hand even touched you. That would not fix things, it wouldn’t repair your book.

Brian sighed again, putting the broken comic book down in his lap as he stared at it. “Gimme the damn book,” Adam grumbled, sounding somewhat displeased with something - with that exactly you didn’t know but you did know that Adam would not touch that comic again. “Fuck off,” you mumbled weakly, trying to keep Adam away from it. The taller angel simply caught your wrists, held them in a firm grip and grabbed the comic - including the torn out page - from your lap, “Chill, I’m not gonna tear out more pages.”

You watched with wide eyes as your comic book was taken from you yet again, this time Adam was a little careful with it and while that still did not meet your standards on how he should be handling your favorite comic, it was better than before. The brunette let go of your eyes, held the comic book in both of his hands and let out a quiet sigh, a sigh you didn’t even notice. Angelic magic wrapped around your book and your shocked expression turned into a confused one before you realized what Adam was doing there.

He was fixing it - like actually fixing it.

“Here, you fucking shithead,” Adam grinned as he handed you your comic back, his other hand ruffled your hair softly and while the brunette still did not apoligze, you were willing to ignore that tiny fact and move on. He had fixed the book he broke and while it still felt different, it was something you appreciated very much.

[ultimateissuessimp]

Treacherous waters

One shot

Word count: 735

Warnings: Dangerous boat driving? Y/N is basically Captain Jack Sparrow

Who would've thought? A man who loves to sail, calling himself an old timed pirate and a baron. Sounds ridiculous, but that's the truth, especially when they sail together on the open waters, visiting various countries, stargazing while laying on the deck, fighting with the wind that pushed them in all the wrong directions like now.

-Love, if you could, please, pull that rope on the right, near the stairs it would be really amazing! - Y/N shouted over the sound of waves crushing into the ship, instructing Zemo what to do so they could get out of their current situation.

-I'm really trying, Schatz! Not my fault the gravity is pulling me in whichever direction it fucking wants! - Zemo shouted back, holding onto the rope and planting his feet into the deck, pulling hard on the said rope to direct the sail. He only got a loud laugh in response to which he rolled his eyes, but a shadow of a smile started to appear.

-Looks like we're heading straight into the storm! Are you done with the rope?! If so, get your ass over here and hold onto me, it will only be a wild ride from now on! - Y/N yelled out, ushering his boyfriend to himself so he knew where he was while they try to survive the damn storm.

He saw Zemo tie the rope back onto its hook and nearly stumble on the stairs, holding onto the railing for dear life while climbing up and quickly getting to him. He felt his arms wrap around him from the back and his head rest against his shoulder. He grinned before letting out a cheer of excitement as they reached the storm that pushed the waters into many directions, buckets upon buckets of water getting onto the ship, wetting both of them while doing so. He felt his boyfriend shiver slightly from the cold which made him turn his head to the side and kiss his temple, a silent promise of getting them out of it soon enough.

-Did you have to sail right into the fucking storm, Y/N?! Where even are we?! - Zemo shouted over the loudness of the water tumbling into the boat like cannon balls shot from an enemy ships.

-You're at the edge of the map, mate. Here there be monsters! - Y/N responded with a laugh, the booming of the storm as a background noise to his statement.

-Stop quoting fucking Pirates of the Caribbean! - the baron said loudly, careful not to scream right into Y/N's ear, annoyed with the man's humour in such situations.

-Oh come on! Cheer up, lovie! It's not that bad, believe me! This ship has been through worse! - Y/N replied, overly proud at the memories when he sailed alone at that time, going through craziest of weathers.

They've sailed pass the storm, leaving it behind. The only reminder of it being the dark clouds and sound of thunder in the back. The waters they came into being calmer than the ones they've just left but none the less treacherous, neither of their guard coming down quite yet. When they've got far enough that hints of sun started to come through the clouds, only then did they had let out a sigh of relief. Zemo let go of Y/N, but still stayed close enough to him.

-See? Everything is fine now! - Y/N said with a chuckle, a massive cheeky grin on his face as he turned to Helmut.

-For now. Remind me not to sail with you again when there's a massive storm that you know of, okay? - Zemo asked Y/N, looking out into the ocean, noticing a blob on the horizon that could only be described as land that they're getting near to and he was never more thankful than at that moment to see it.

-Oh come on! It wasn't that bad! Now go and bring a bottle of rum, please! - Y/N requested, sending a wink the baron's way and a little kiss.

-We're out of rum, remember? - Zemo said, putting his hands on his hips and tilting his head to the side in the iconic way he always does.

-Why is the rum always gone? - Y/N asked, more himself than his boyfriend, resigned and shook his head as he steered the ship to the port. The storm far forgotten behind them.

[ultimateissuessimp]

Teach me

One shot

Word count: 900

Warnings: None

Notes: I used Slovak as Sokovian, because I've read somewhere that Sokovian was a mix of Slovak and something else. I also used google translate, sooo. Yeah.

He knew that Zemo was Sokovian, he wasn't stupid, but hearing him speak his native language always put him in awe. It sounded so beautiful, like a comforting melody his mother used to quietly sing to him so he could fall asleep. So when he heard the baron conversing with Oeznik in Sokovian, he couldn't help but listen in and marvel at how smoothly the words flew out of his lips. When they stopped, Y/N approached Zemo with the intent of asking the man to teach him some Sokovian.

-It might sound like a strange request, but could you teach me some Sokovian? Your language fascinates me and I'd love to learn it - he said, his heart skipping a beat at the look the baron gave him at his question. His palms grew slightly sweaty as nerves started to appear. Did he overstep? Was it invasive to ask a man who lost his country and everyone he cared about to teach him his native language?

-Why? - such a simple question left Zemo's mouth, yet it only made more questions swirl inside Y/N's head.

-I just… I wanted to give you more opportunity to speak it, I know you have Oeznik who you can talk in Sokovian with, but the thought of having more people to speak to in your native language sounds… Nice, in my opinion it wouldn't feel as lonely, as… Alienated, I guess - he explained his thought process, articulating what he meant with his hands and awaited with bated breath Zemo's response. At that moment something in Helmut moved, his heart picking up pace.

The man he grew so fond of in such a short amount of time wanted to give him some normalcy. It felt too good to be truth, he wanted to believe that there was some ulterior motive, his mind screaming at him that there was no way Y/N wanted just that. There had to be something hidden underneath those words. Yet his heart begged him to have some trust in the man and it was what made him nod his head, agreeing to Y/N's proposal.

A large smile appeared on the man's face when he got an approval from the baron. Zemo took them to a different room, an office to be more specific, telling him to sit down as he himself sat on the opposite side of the desk. He gave him a piece of paper and a pen so he could note everything he was about to learn. A good half an hour passed and Y/N already learned some words in Sokovian, how to create a sentence and one sentence on it's own, but he didn't know the meaning of it quite yet since Zemo kept it to himself, almost like a secret.

-Say it once more, slowly - Zemo instructed the man seating in front of him, gesturing towards the seemingly easily spelled two words on the paper.

-Zbož-… Zbožňujem ťa. Was that good? Did I say it right? - Y/N asked, unsure about his pronounciation, not wanting to make a fool out of himself by being overly confident and failing at saying something.

-Again - the baron told him, as if he didn't hear the rest of what Y/N had said except those two words, looking right at the man's lips.

-Zbožňujem ťa - Y/N repeated himself, eyes holding a bit of confusion as he stared at Zemo, waiting for what to do next.

-Again… - Helmut said once more, seemingly in a trance as he not even for a second took his eyes away from the movement of Y/N's lips.

-I-… Okay… Zbožňujem ťa - Y/N said for what felt like a hundredth time, but he didn't really seem to mind.

-Just… One more time, please - he requested for Y/N to repeat his words. He couldn't get enough of how pretty those two words sounded out of the man, their meaning making his head spin and his heart increase in speed.

-Zbožňujem ťa - the E/C man said again, staring at Zemo as if he was a painting hang in an art gallery. Yet the moment he stopped speaking, Zemo quickly leaned over the desk, cupping his face into his hands and pressing his lips against Y/N's in a gentle kiss. Y/N let out a soft sound of surprise and contentment into Zemo's mouth before closing his eyes and letting himself get lost in the motion of their lips. When they separated, he couldn't help but smile and look into the baron's eyes.

-Aj ja ťa zbožňujem - Zemo replied, a soft look taking over his features as he looked back at Y/N, stroking his cheeks with his thumbs and pressing his forehead to the man's.

-Okay, but what does that mean? - Y/N asked, still confused as to what potentially could the words mean to put Helmut in such a state and spring him up to action. He only got a chuckle in response and he immediately set his goal to hear that sweet sound more often. - Oh come on, what do they mean! Zemo, tell meee! - he whined comedicaly when he saw the man move away and stand up to leave the office, a way of teasing Y/N with an answer which made the man himself spring up and chase after him, demanding an answer while they both giggled like idiots.

[ultimateissuessimp]

INFORMATION

Requests are currently closed! There's quite a lot on my shoulders at the moment, mostly private matters, that's why I have to close them! I'm currently working on the requests that I've already got and I promise to get done with them soon with all the same love and attention my other work has got from me!

I'm not sure when I'll open the requests back up, hopefully it will be in a week or so, sadly I can't see the future, so I'm not sure :( Sorry that I have to leave you like that for some time, but I can promise you some new ideas that I have in my notes!

Love ya, crazy people! 🫶

[ultimateissuessimp]

Rota

One shot

Word count: 616

Warnings: My stupidity (Meaning crack fic)

Four men were out in the club in Madripoor. Who could that be? Why, Zemo, Bucky, Sam and Y/N of course! They've been there for half an hour and already there were dudes and girls alike trying to get into either of their pants. Unlucky for them, two of them were off limits and the other two while single, they were not there to mingle. Yet that didn't seem to stop the swarm. Especially that one German guy, who seemed to be eyeing Y/N all night long since they've all had walked inside. He was persistent, not giving up until he got what he wanted, oh how ironic. The only thing he didn't account for was how unhinged Y/N could be at times and that a certain baron was highly unamused with his attempts, shooting him distasteful looks and groaning each time the guy said something so stupid he almost lost braincells.

-Oh come on, cutie. Don't be like that, I'm much better of a company than those dimwits that came with you - the guy said, his German accent heavy in his voice as he spoke, leaning uncomfortably close towards Y/N on the bar, staring at him like he was the finest piece of meat on the market.

-I highly doubt that, mein Freund. One of those "dimwits" as you called them is my husband and I would really suggest you stop hitting on me. Well, unless you'd like to leave this building in a body bag - Y/N said, rolling his eyes before take a sip of his drink, turning his head towards Helmut to observe his reactions.

-Yeah? I bet he doesn't treat you right, you could go for a guy so much better, like me perhaps and keep those empty threats to yourself, we both know that if I give you just a little taste, you won't be able to get enough of me - the man kept going, pushing and pushing like a bulldozer. He even dared to touch Y/N's bicep. Moments before Zemo could interfere, smoke almost coming out of his nostrils, something in Y/N snapped and he suddenly stood up and face the man completely, taking in a pose that could only be described as an anime fan doing the stand for their Attack on Titan anthem.

-Nie będzie Niemiec pluł nam w twarz, ni dzieci nam germanił! Orężny wstanie hufiec nasz, Duch będzie Nam hetmanił! - Y/N started singing a Polish song from the times of World War II, a one that he had learned some time ago, not knowing that one day he would actually use it, but holy hell did it feel good to see the absolute shock and confusion on the German's face. He was truly stunned. So stunned in fact that he couldn't even form a coherent answer, further on making a fool of himself and after finally realising that, he simply walked away, leaving Y/N alone.

Over the loud music, he could hear his husband absolutely losing his shit, laughing hard and almost doubling over because of it since he understood most of what Y/N just sang, the two languages, Polish and Sokovian being somewhat similar, letting him catch out certain words or phrases and actually understand them. Y/N turned to his husband with a cheeky grin on his face, leaning back on the bar before taking his drink into his hand and downing it in one go.

-I fucking can't deal with idiots… - he muttered, proud of himself as the grin never left his face for the next minutes they've stayed near the bar, chuckling from time to time as they've reminiscened about the guy's facial expression when he started singing.

[ultimateissuessimp]

"I love you" is not enough

One shot

Word count: 2,207

Warnings: Mentions of losing loved ones

Y/N never thought he'd ever get reunited with his childhood bestfriend. Not after their country got destroyed by Stark's cursed toy, his best friend going mad with getting his revenge, then getting imprisoned for over 7 years and himself dissappearing for five of them during the blip. He was so lost when he came back, he didn't know how to fit back in, but he knew that the first thing he desperately wanted to do was to see him, see Helmut.

What he didn't expect is that when he finally hyped himself up to go to Berlin, is the fact that Zemo wasn't there anymore. That's when the prison guards told him that the man had simply dissappeared. He grew anxious, the whole drive to one of his flats in Berlin was filled with overthinking. Was he okay? Did something happened? Where was he? That's why when he got to his flat, he immediately bee-lined to a compartment in his desk that stored a phone Helmut has given him before bombing the UN to communicate with him if he needed to do so. He dialed the only number on the phone he had in the contacts, praying during the connection that he would pick up and his breath hitched in his throat when he heard the other side answer.

-Y/N… - Zemo breathed out, voice quiet as if he was trying to keep his voice down so no one else heard him. Y/N could almost see the worried look Helmut's face with his imagination. - Is everything alright? Are you okay? - he asked after a moment of silence and Y/N almost let out a laugh at his words. Even after all this time, he cared more about the man's well being ove his own, but he understood since he had given him this phone to call during emergencies. In Y/N's mind that was an emergency.

-Am I okay? Are YOU okay? I'm in Berlin right now, I wanted to see you but they told me that you just disappeared, where the hell are you, Hel? - Y/N asked, his voice slightly stern, but also filled with worry for his best friend. A best friend that he had pined after since they met, but couldn't have him due to him being in an arranged marriage with his late wife.

-I'm sorry, I really am, it was not my plan to make you worry, I hadn't thought you'd even want to see me after all these years and what I've had done - Zemo explained, Y/N could almost hear him running a hand down his face in guilt.

-"I wouldn't want to see you"? Have you completely gone mad, Hel? I'd cross the universe just to see you, where are you? - he explained, once again asking the man about his whereabouts.

-You say I'm mad, yet you continue with saying that you'd go so far just to see someone like me… Are you sure you're not the one that's going insane?… - Zemo asked with a tired, yet appreciative chuckle. - I'm in Ryga right now, in my apartment, but-… - he started explaining where he was at that moment, but was interrupted by Y/N.

-Don't you dare move and inch, I'm coming to you, I'll be there in a couple of hours - he said quickly, springing up from the couch he had sat on for the call, snatching his car keys from the drawer near the entry doors.

-Wait, Schatz, let me finish. I'm not alone here… The Winter Soldier and the Falcon are here with me. In a way they broke me out of prison and we're trying to stop the Flag Smashers from producing more Super Soldiers and destroying everything on their path - Zemo explained, trying to get Y/N to calm down and to not make rush decisions, but the man was already dead set on going there and he knew it too.

-They broke you out? Now that's a sentence I'd never thought I'd ever hear in my life - Y/N said with a humorless chuckle before swiftly putting on his jacket and getting out of his flat, locking it behind himself and almost sprinting to his car. He got inside, powering it up while still on the call before speeding off towards Ryga.

-Yes and I'd never even dared to think something like this could ever happen, yet it did. Just… Drive here carefully, alright? I don't want to see your car crashed on the news, I know how heavy your leg can get - Helmut said, running a hand through his hair, mussing it up a bit. They talked for a while longer before Zemo had to hang up when he heard one of the men he was with approaching, telling Y/N once again to be careful.

Couple of hours later and there he was, crossing Ryga's city line, now driving slower towards Zemo's apartment that he had been a couple of times at when they had their small vacations away from everyone, just a best friends bonding time. He got out of the car when he reached the place and jogged up to the doors, eagerly knocking on them and waiting for Helmut to open up.

At that time when Zemo finally heard the knocks, he could see Sam and Bucky reach for their guns and he immediately calmed them down, saying that he knew who it was and that it was a friend, not someone they had to worry about. Which didn't really make them less weary of Y/N on the other side of the doors, but they lowered their guns nonetheless, deciding to give Zemo their trust on this.

When the doors finally swung open, their eyes meeting after so long, Y/N couldn't help but throw his arms around Zemo's neck, pulling him into a bone crushing hug. He breathed heavily, trying to stop himself from tearing up. He was okay, they were both okay, they were together again, that's all that mattered.

-Okay, Zemo, who the hell is that? - they could hear Bucky ask from the inside of the apartment, making them pull away from each other and Zemo letting him inside, closing the doors after him.

-I'm Y/N. Helmut's best friend. You don't have to introduce yourself, I already know the both of you. While I know you didn't do it with a happy smile, I still feel the need to thank you for getting him out of prison - he said, taking a few steps towards the two men. Sam scoffed and put his hands up.

-Nah, don't pull me into this shit, I had nothing to do with this, it was all him - the Falcon said, pointing almost accusingly towards Bucky which made the other man roll his eyes and turn away from everyone, deciding on taking a seat on the couch.

-Either way, thank you. What you did got me my best friend back - Y/N continued, looking back at Helmut who stood about two meters behind him, something warm hidden inside his eyes, something that Y/N could only recognise as longing and he couldn't help sending the baron a big, happy grin.

-Not for long, Dora Milaje is after his ass, not sure when they're going to get him, but I don't doubt the fact that they will - Bucky said, huffing out and crossing his arms over his chest as he closely observed the interaction between both men. To him they looked a lot closer than just best friends, but who was he to say anything about that when his and Steve's friendship was almost similar?

That made Y/N frown in concern and Zemo wince as he saw his dearest friend's eyebrows knit in worry. He took the man's arm into his hand, pulling him towards one of the rooms where they could freely talk.

-Hey! No scheming behind our backs when you're in there! - Sam said, pointing his fingers and doing a little circle with it towards the two men as they walked away which only granted him a dry chuckle from Zemo and another frown from Y/N.

When they got inside, Zemo immediately wrapped his arms tightly around Y/N's waist, keeping him close to himself as his head rested against his shoulder. Y/N without a second thought wrapped his arms around Helmut, one hand running up and down his back in comforting motions.

-I've missed you… I was so worried when you stopped visiting me for those five years. I could only imagine that you grew tired of me, that you've finally realised what a horrible human being I am… And when I've found out about the blip, I only thought of the worst… That I won't ever see you again, that I wouldn't be able to see those sharp E/C eyes, that I wouldn't be able to hear that booming laugh as I tell you one of my horrible dad jokes - Zemo explained, voice strained with heavy emotions as he clung onto Y/N. His words made the frown on Y/N's face only deepen and put his hands on the baron's cheeks to lift his head up and make him look at him.

-I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Shit, if the Dora Milaje really comes for you, I'm coming with you, I don't care, they won't separate us again - Y/N said, his voice serious as he looked deeply into Zemo's worried eyes.

-I can't let you do that, you know I can't let you just destroy the rest of your life for me, I could never… - Zemo said, shaking his head before leaning into the soothing touch of Y/N's hands on his cheeks and closing his eyes.

-Oh shut up, Hel! You don't get to decide what I do with my life. If I decide on staying with the man dearest to my heart then I sure as hell will fucking do so - Y/N hissed out, one of his hands going to the back of Zemo's head to tug sharply on a few hair strands, making him wince and tilt his head backwards before looking back at Y/N with a raised eyebrow.

-You… What? - he asked, utterly confused about Y/N's words. Surely he didn't mean…

-For fuck's sake, Helmut. For a man so god damn intelligent you can be so fucking stupid and blind sometimes… - Y/N said quietly, going back to holding the baron's cheeks with his hands and stroking them with his thumbs affectionately.

-Now you're insulting me just to insult me… - Zemo replied with a momentary scowl that soon changed into an anxious look. - I… After Heike… Shit… What I want to say is that, I closed my heart off for so long after losing my family, I became distant, I was cold and yet you stayed… You always did, it didn't matter if I did something utterly stupid during our younger days or even after bombing the UN… You simply stayed and I couldn't be more thankful for that, but at the same time it had awakened something in me that I managed to bury for the sake of my arranged marriage. Something that I can't and don't want to keep hidden anymore. I'm so deeply in love with you that it hurts me to even think about losing you again when the Dora Milaje come to take me away - Helmut confessed, his heart beating a thousand times a minute as he spoke, completely avoiding eye contact just to not see what he imagined could be visible on Y/N's face. The man holding his face didn't let him to do that for long tho, redirecting his gaze to be back on him.

-Helmut, even if the world says no, I'll go through all of it's challenges just to prove that what we have is worth a chance… You're not getting rid of me this easily, hell no - Y/N whispered, his eyes switching from looking into Zemo's of warm brown ones to his lips and back, noticing that the man before him was doing the same. He leaned in slowly, carefully, not wanting to spook him with sudden movements as if he was a wild animal he was observing.

When the baron started leaning in to, he lost all of his thoughts he had at that moment just so his mind could fill up with him. His baron. His best friend. Someone that his heart longed for almost his whole life. When their lips finally met, it was as if everything clicked into it's rightful place. He couldn't quite believe this was actually happening and that it wasn't just a figment of his wild imagination like he had done so many times back. Their lips moved slowly, tenderly against one another, fighting against the need for breath. When they finally pulled away, unable to resist breathing any longer, their foreheads pressed against each other, their breathing heavy as they tried to calm down their racing hearts. They felt content, even if just for a moment and it was exactly that moment that set in stone the fact that they'd rather help Hell freeze than let anything separate them again.

[ultimateissuessimp]

QUICK INFO FOR THE INTERESTED

The requests are still open, but they might get closed somewhere in the middle of June since I have a few things to deal with, but right now juggling everything at once ain't problematic, hence the green light still shining!

‼️If you do have a request, please remember to check the rules first! ‼️

Reminder of who I write for and what:

BALDUR'S GATE 3

🧛🏻‍♂️🩸 Astarion 🩸🧛🏻‍♂️

ONCE UPON A TIME

⛵🪝 Killian Jones/Captain Hook 🪝⛵

OBEY ME! SHALL WE DATE?

👿🔸 Lucifer 🔸👿

THE SANDMAN

⏳👑 Morpheus 👑⏳

GHOST BAND

👻🎤 Papa Emeritus IV/Copia 🎤👻

MARVEL:

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

🌊👑 Namor 👑🌊

Moon Knight

🌕🤺 Moon Knight System 🤺🌕

TFATWS/CA:CW

👑🗡️ Baron Zemo 🗡️👑

BEETLEJUICE

🪲🧃 Beetlejuice 🧃🪲

DEAD BOY DETECTIVES

🐱👑 Cat King/Thomas 👑🐱

What I write:

!. Headcannons

!. One shots

!. Incorrect quotes

!. Specific short ideas that don't fall under the "one shot" term

[ultimateissuessimp]

Be okay, be alright

One shot

Word count: 1,693

Warnings: Serious and life threatening accident during a race, angst with a happy ending

Baron Helmut Zemo, a famous Formula 1 driver for the Thunderbolts team, fighting for the title of a World Champion, his third one to be exact. Yet there was one log on his path. That log being his rival, Y/N L/N, another two time World Champion, driving for the Arcane Infinity team right behind him on the points. One last race that would determine who's the better driver, who deserves the title more and both men were extremely motivated to make the other see the rear of their car.

This where it all went wrong. The beginning of the race, everything was perfect, a 2.4 second start for both of them, going wheel to wheel on the first corner, everyone else left behind. They didn't matter. All that mattered was who could lead the longest, who would see the finish flag first, who'd stand on that podium, receiving the first place trophy and a trophy for winning the world championship.

The first 20 laps went perfectly, one pit stop for both of them, changing from soft to hard tires. Their rivals 16 seconds behind them as they drove further and further, pushing their cars' limits. Their hards lasted just how they planned, Y/N changing his tires to mediums on lap 46, Zemo changing his just a lap further making Y/N gain the lead, but not without a fight. 10 laps to go, 10 laps that would determine who's the better driver.

What Y/N's pit stop crew ommited was the fact that one of his rear tires was not screwed in properly, getting loose with every corner, with each use of the DRS. He felt something was wrong, especially when his tires locked in on one of the last corners during lap 55. All it took was one minor contact of Zemo's right front wing with the left rear tire of Y/N's car and it came off clean, flying off into a different direction than where he was driving, nearly hitting the baron's own car.

Y/N lost grip, the car swerving violently to the side, hitting the curb that made him rise up and spin in the air, tumbling straight towards the wall through the gravel. All he could see was the sky and the ground by each passing second as he spun and spun, smashing into the wall. If that wasn't enough, his engine caught fire, making everything even hotter than it already was. He pressed the radio button, his head woozy and eyesight still fogged up.

-There's a fire, there's a fucking fire! Get me out of here, I can't get out! - Y/N screamed over the radio. He couldn't pull his foot out, it was stuck on one of the parts that got damaged during the contact with the wall. He tried to remain calm but when he felt the licks of the fire that wanted to stick to him despite having a fire resistant overalls beneath his race suit, he panicked and started jerking his leg, trying to get it free.

The marshalls already ran over to him, trying to put out the fire and get him out of the car. When they finally got him out, he could feel every bone and muscle in his body, especially when one of the marshall's pulled on his arm to help him out. He cried out in pain, falling to his knees on the gravel, not too far away from the still burning car. They pulled him away to the best of their abilities, so he was in a safe distance from the fire in case the engine decided to blow up. In a moment where he could take a breath, his eyes travelled forward onto the race track, seeing Zemo's car pulled to the side and the man himself running to him.

-Are you okay?! Fuck, I'm sorry! Is everything alright?! - Helmut yelled over the concerned roar from the tribunes, worried fans screaming for Y/N to be safe, some even praying.

-We have to take him away, the ambulance is already on its way! - one of the marshalls said, holding away Zemo from reaching Y/N. The man himself wanted to answer him, reply that he will be fine but he couldn't due to the lack of strength and him being short of breath, the fumes of the fire getting into his lungs making him cough violently.

Shortly after the ambulance arrived. They got Y/N onto the stretcher and into the medical were the paramedics without a second of hesitation started checking him out, taking off his helmet and protective gear. They drove off, leaving a very worried rival that begged to go with him, but they didn't let him. He ran off behind the walls of the track, wanting to reach his garage to take his car keys and straight to the parking lot, starting up the car and going after the ambulance. Luckily the hospital wasn't far from the track.

When he reached the hospital, he stopped and jumped out of the car, running after the paramedics who transported Y/N on the stretchers to a free room where the doctors without losing a second started to take care of him. Zemo wanted to be there with him but a bunch of nurses just like the marshalls on the track stopped him from getting into the room.

-Please tell me he'll be okay! He has to be, please! - the baron shouted, his anxiety eating away at him. He chewed on his lower lip in a nervous manner.

-Sir, please, you have to stay here. He's in the best hands, your partner will be just fine - one of the nurses said in a slightly broken English, putting her hands on top of Zemo's shoulders, making him sit down on the chair in front of the room they operated Y/N in.

-What? Partner? He-… Promise me he'll be alright - Helmut begged the nurse, exasperation written all over his face as his eyes fogged up with unshed tears, guilt and worry could be seen in them.

-We promise. He's in the best hands. In no time you will be able to see him - the nurse who was speaking to Zemo promised him before having to leave the man when they needed her inside for help.

He put his face into his hands, bending down to rest his elbows on his knees as his legs bounced. The "No time" turned into hours before they told him that he was stable, but his body damaged in many places, specifically speaking both of his wrists being broken alongside his relocated shoulder, a couple of harsh bruises and crushed from the force ribs.

Finally they let him inside and he immediately ran into the room taking a spot on the chair near the bed Y/N was laying on, still unconscious after the procedure. They also told him he'll be unresponsive for the rest of the day. He placed his hand gently on the side of Y/N's face, the tears that were in his eyes finally falling freely down his cheeks.

-I'm so sorry Y/N… Please be okay… You have to be. I'll do anything, just please wake up soon - Zemo said quietly, his voice shaking as he sat there, exhausted after the race and hours of worrying over his rival's well being.

It wasn't long before Zemo fell asleep with his head resting against the edge of the hospital bed, his REM sleep plagued with nightmares of far worse happening to Y/N. He woke up to a feeling of someone's hand very lightly going through his hair. He carefully lifted his head to look up just to see a tired smile on Y/N's face. His own lit up before he noticed the man's still slightly raised hand.

-Why are you using your hand in any way? Your wrist is broken, lay it back down! - the baron said with a worried tone, gently helping the injured racer lay his hand down on his stomach.

-Oh hush, I'm tougher than you think - Y/N said, his voice hoarse and quiet, not wanting to tire it out too much, but the smile on his face spoke volumes. - So uh… You said something about "doing anything if I wake up"… Does the offer still stand? - he asked, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes as he observed Zemo's reactions.

-Yeah, what is it? Do you need anything? - Zemo asked, almost eagerly as he slightly leaned forward towards Y/N.

-Well, they do say a kiss can make people feel better and I think I really do need a kiss right now - the man said, tilting his head to the side while still resting it on the pillow, a moment of nausea hit him with the sudden movement but as quickly as it appeared, as quickly it went away.

Zemo almost chocked on an inhale of air, eyes wide as he stared at Y/N, his lips slightly parted in shock. He thought for a moment, deciding if what the racer had said was just for the laughs or did he actually mean it, but after some time of thinking he started to lean in, giving Y/N time to back out if he didn't actually want it, yet when he saw that smug smirk on the man's face, he mentally said "fuck it" and completely leaned in, covering Y/N's lips with his own in a gentle and sweet kiss. After a moment or two he pulled back, their faces still close to each other before Zemo pulled away completely and sat properly on the chair.

-Mmm, I feel completely healed already - Y/N said with humour in his voice, sending a wink baron's way, his hand reaching out for Zemo's own, taking it and holding it dearly.

-Oh shut up - Zemo chuckled quietly, rubbing soothing circles into Y/N's hand and leaning down to press a gentle kiss against the back of it. The situation that caused both of them being here was awful, but maybe there were some positive in the negatives after all?

[ultimateissuessimp]

Where's my reward?

One shot

Word count: 1,684

Warnings: None serious sword fighting

Y/N has been flirting with Killian for so damn long. Whether it was in the Enchanted Forest where he worked as a barman in one of the taverns near the docks with Killian and his crew being his regulars or in Storybrooke where they met again. While in the beginning many gave him shit for this that he was familiarising with a villain, but he seriously did not care, why should he? While he understood their reasons for it and why that could've been "bad" in their books, it wasn't really any of their business who he was trying to woo.

-Your usual, hot stuff? - he asked the pirate with a grin and a wink sent his way when he saw the man approach the bar he was working in.

-Aye, strongest you've got - Killian replied with a flirty smile as he sat down on the stool, putting both of this arms on the bar and waiting for his drink.

-Coming right up, love - Y/N said, his grin widening at their exchange of words before grabbing a nice deep glass and a flask of the best rum they had, filling of the glass up and then placing it before Killian.

-Thanks, handsome - Hook flirted back which made Y/N bite down slightly on his bottom lip while trying to stop himself from grinning any further. He tried to distract himself with other customers so his boss doesn't give him any shit for spending too much time "trying to get into the pirate's pants" as he had often called it.

That was until he had nothing else to do, so he came right back to the man, leaning on the bar right in front of him. He saw the man taking a bigger gulp of the alcohol and his eyebrow raised. He knew that Killian liked rum, better than anyone else, but something must have happened that made him drink it so eagerly.

-What's up, huh? What got you drinking it so fast as if it was water? - he asked, not really wanting to pry, but his curiosity got the best of him and he just had to say something about it.

-Neverland - Killian replied shortly, taking another gulp of his drink before setting the glass down, still holding it in his hand as he looked at the man in front of him.

-What about it? - Y/N asked confused, not really understanding what Killian was trying to say and he didn't want to assume, so he just waited for him to speak up again.

-Swan's kid got taken to Neverland by the two new in town and we're going there to get him back - Killian explained, swirling the beverage in the glass around, deep in thought.

-Oh shit… Well this sucks, no wonder it got you drinking like that. From what I remember from your tales, every time you've been there it has been shit - he said, scratching the back of his head as he thought about the whole situation Killian found himself in.

-Aye, but it's for the kid, can't let Pan get his filthy paws on him - Hook said taking another gulp of rum before slightly leaning back and taking in a deep breath. At that moment an idea popped up in Y/N's mind.

-Is there a room for one more person on your ship? - he asked, one eyebrow raised as he busied himself with cleaning some glasses that came back to him as he waited for Killian's response.

-Why? You want to go to that gods forsaken place too? - the pirate asked, both eyebrows raised as he stared at the man before him, curiosity etched in his features.

-Sure, if it's for the kid then gladly - Y/N replied with a grin. Henry was always nice to him. He said hello everyone they saw each other and even often asked him for help with his school homework when they crossed paths at Granny's when Y/N visited the place before his shifts for some lunch or breakfast. He was honoured that the kid trusted him enough to ask for help without really knowing him that well and genuinely he grew on him, so obviously he would want to help getting him back.

-Are you sure about that, mate? Lots of fighting may occur, are you up for that? - Killian asked the barman, raising his eyebrow at him in a way that got Y/N's mind spinning each time he saw him doing that. He simply nodded his head and chuckled.

-Hot stuff, you've seen me in action before, dealing with a large group of men causing ruckus in the tavern, what makes you think I couldn't handle fighting now? - he asked with a grin on his face as he poured Killian one more glass when he saw him slide it over to him and then giving it back to him, once more half filled.

-This is a whole lot different, love - Hook said, this time taking a smaller sip of the drink that had been given to him as he observed Y/N.

-How about this? We can have a little one on one. If I meet your expectations, you let me come with you? Seems good? - Y/N gave Killian a proposition with a smug smirk, already knowing that he'll be coming to this adventure.

-And what else? You'd like a kiss with that too? - the pirate joked, chuckling and shaking his head gently at Y/N's words. Y/N only looked at him with a grin so wide his cheeks started hurting.

-Yes please, a kiss from you would cure my soul - he replied, sending him a cheeky wink before leaning against the bar again, getting slightly closer to Hook whose eyebrows shot up in amusement before he nodded his head, agreeing to his proposal.

-Alright. You win and you're coming with us. We'll see about that kiss though - Killian said, getting of the bar stool and lifting the glass up to his lips to take a large swig of the rum, emptying the glass before setting it on the bar again, letting Y/N clean it and place it aside.

Y/N smiled before notifying his coworker that he was on the shift with that he'll be taking his break early and then going outside with the pirate, walking to the docks where his ship was. Fighting on a pirate ship with its captain. In Y/N's books that was a win already and gods was it hot. Killian took out two wooden practice swords so they could comfortably spar but not too any damage to each other during the process, tossing it to the barman who caught it effortlessly.

They began slowly, circling around, waiting for a move coming from the other before simultaneously charging up at each other and clashing the swords, a little fight for dominance. Y/N took a step back, ducking away from the captain's swing before swirling around and getting behind him, ready to attack just for their swords to clash again when Killian spun around to protect his back. Y/N smirked as he saw the man do exactly as he expected him to do so. He leaned closer, pushing harder against him, their faces so close he could almost taste the rum on Killian's breath.

-You think you can win, sweetcheeks? - he said, grinning at the pirate, trying to get a rise out of him so he could strike at the right moment he was waiting for.

-Don't get so cocky, mate, soon enough I'll have you laying on this deck - Killian snarled out playfully, pushing the man away with a harder push and attacking again.

-Is that a promise, hot stuff? - Y/N asked with a chuckle, easily blocking Killian's blow and attacking back by kicking him in the stomach, making the man stumble back and leaving Y/N room to strike. He ran up to him, sending blow after blow before sliding to the side, quick on his feet to once again kick Killian, this time to the side.

The captain caught his foot with his hook, but Y/N quickly recovered by laying on Le hand on the deck and turning, his other leg raising to kick the sword out of Killian's hand, sending it flying off somewhere onto the deck. It left Hook surprised, making him drop the barman's foot and letting him drop to the wooden floor. Y/N swiftly stood up from his feet and pushed against Killian, both of them stumbling back from the force and falling onto the stairs not far away from them.

Y/N landed on top of Hook as the man beneath him grunted in pain from the stairs digging into his back before he looked up at him. Y/N was grinning as he pinned down Killian's hands to the stairs and sat on his hips, trapping him so he couldn't move or fight back. His sword somewhere back, forgotten on the ship's deck.

-So, where's my reward? I believe there was something about a certain… Kiss - he said cheekily, lookin down at Killian and getting his face closer to him, head tilted slightly to the side, making their noses brush against one another. He let out a sound of slight surprise when Killian actually hungrily pressed his lips to his own. That sound of surprise quickly changed into a soft moan as he got lost in the kiss. That was until Hook got un upper hand by freeing his right hand, placing it behind his head and wrapping one leg around his thigh, swapping their positions. Killian's hand now beneath his head softened the fall of it onto the stairs. He laid beneath him, out of breath and with raised eyebrows as he stared up at him.

-Let's say you've passed - Killian said quietly before smashing his lips against Y/N's again, hungry for more, letting the barman wrap his arms around him to keep the man close to himself as they've exchanged spit. Y/N grinned into the kiss. Neverland, here we come.

[ultimateissuessimp]

I love you in any state

One shot

Word count: 643

Warnings: Mentions of depression, basically shitty times

Notes: Inspired by Harry Style's song "Fine Line".

We'll be a fine line

Killian was a man that has been through a lot. Losing his brother because of dreamshade, then his lover and his hand because of the Dark One, then having to deal with the 'bloody demon' Peter Pan and his crew of Lost Boys alongside many other hardships. Yet there was this one person that made it all better. His sweet, darling Y/N. The true love of his life, the ray of sunshine that always shined through his darkest of days and he couldn't be more thankful for him.

Both men currently laid on their shared bed in their apartment, cuddling. It was one of those days when Killian was simply… Tired. Of everything really. Call it a depressive episode or an existential crisis. He didn't have the strength to do anything, from the moment he woke up he was felt like shit. Leave it to Y/N though to be there for him and get him through it.

-I'm sorry that you have to deal with me right now - he said quietly, feeling quite defeated and empty, running his fingers gently up and down Y/N's back. That made the man cuddled to him lift up so he could be face to face with his boyfriend.

-What the bloody hell are you even talking about Killian? 'Deal' with you? I knew what I signed up for when I said 'I love you' and 'Yes' when you asked me if I wanted to become your boyfriend. I knew that you have days like this and I still decided to stay with you. Do you know why? - Y/N said, a serious look on his face as he stared at his boyfriend beneath him.

-No and it makes me wonder every time I wake up and look at you, still asleep in my arms. How did I ever get so lucky? - Killian expressed his thoughts to the man, staring at him with a tired yet thankful and full of adoration look on his face.

Y/N sat up properly before deciding on sitting on Killian's lap and leaning forward to take the pirate's face in his hands, stroking his cheeks with his thumbs and resting his forehead against Hook's. Y/E/C eyes stared deeply into his blue irises, something unspoken going on between them yet so visible for Killian as he stared back, seeing nothing else than pure and true love. Adoration. Affection… And it damn near made his eyes tear up.

-Because no matter what state you're in, whether you're depressed, angry, happy, scared or absolutely shitfaced on rum, I'll still be there with you, right next to you. You showed me that life can have a meaning and I want to do the same for you. I love you with my whole heart, mind, soul and body and nothing will ever change that. You'll have to try REAL damn hard to get rid of me Jones and that goes for anyone or anything else that tries to seperate us. We'll be alright - he explained, never stopping caressing Killian's cheeks but adding soft and gentle kisses all over his face during his speech. His forehead, his nose, his eyebrows, chin, the apples of his cheeks and ending on his lips that he desired to keep pressed against his own for the rest of their lives and Killian couldn't help but sniffle before wrapping his arms tightly around Y/N's middle and pulling him against his body, hiding his face in the man's neck.

-We'll be alright - Hook repeated quietly into the skin of his boyfriend's neck, voice slightly shaking as he took a deep breath to calm down, Y/N's comforting scent filling his senses, successfully soothing his mind and soul as he nuzzled his face more into him. They will be alright. They have to be.

[ultimateissuessimp]

cat king 😺

[ultimateissuessimp]

Ohhhh can you write cat king x dog king please? like enemies to lovers so cute I think! feel free to decline obv

Oooh you guys have no idea how much I adore writing for the Cat King 🥹 If the word count doesn't express that, I don't know what could. Thank you for this amazing request, I had a field day with it 🙏

Also HAPPY PRIDE MONTH Y'ALL! 🏳️‍🌈❤️

Fleabag and a Dirty Mutt

The Cat King x Dog King!Male Reader

Word count: 2,759

Warnings: Mention of a character dying (Don't worry, he's alive 🙌), animal cruelty (does that count-?), violence, suggestive language (Nothing happens tho 😔), can this be passed off as hurt/comfort? I don't know, really

When people talk about the stereotype of dogs and cats being mortal enemies, they're not that far away from the truth. They may bit be exactly mortal enemies, but the hate and deep rooted dislike is there. There are instances when dogs and cats live in harmony, but not these two. The monarchs. The royalty. The Dog King and the Cat King. Both too stubborn to change places where they rule, one at the docks, the other keeping closer to the woods, trying to stay as far away from the other as possible.

They had so many run ins with each other that it was a miracle they hadn't tried to kill one another yet. It surely felt like they were close to it though, especially from a point of view of an outsider. Those outsiders being two certain ghosts alongside a quite powerful medium visiting Port Townsend that started causing a little ruckus. Naturally the Cat King at first didn't care even though he was aware of them, of course until one of them used magic on one of his cats. Then he started closely observing them. While the Dog King, being the, well, being that he was, couldn't help but grow interested the moment he caught their very interesting scent, unlike any other ghost's or person in the town and the number was quite big. From the beginning he carefully observed them, before revealing himself when the, now group, clearly needed his help.

From that moment on they began something akin to a business partnership. They get rid of the damned witch that was only causing troubles for him while he protects them and helps them however he can, either his strength, wisdom or resourcefulness. They worked together, both sides diligently fulfilling their side of the agreement and everything was going really well until that new boy appeared. When he first sniffed the air while the new guy was around, his nose immediately scrunched up in displeasure. He reeked with magic, but he couldn't quite place it why or where was it coming from. Then he started talking about astrology and everything else with Edwin and Y/N's demeanor, while still cautious and distrusting, changed from an on guard one to a more relaxed stance. He thought that that was probably where the stench was coming from. The boy was either practising witchcraft or had it deeply rooted within him which was slowly waking up. He was wrong though, big time.

Then was also Thomas. That fucking fleabag that was a constant pain in his ass. He wanted to just rip his throat out with his teeth over and over again until the being was out of lives, but at the same time he felt like he would probably, ironically, miss the damn cat. That didn't change the fact that he was absolutely getting in his nerves whenever he could. This was one of those moments, the two accidentally bumping into each other at the viewing spot that the Cat King visited previously to talk with, and slightly torment, Edwin.

The large fawn and tan coated Doberman trudged up the stairs, from time to time looking up to the starry night sky to see if any star was shining much brighter than the rest and letting out a quiet, pleased sound when he found one. It was a little something to pass the time, especially when he was on a walk like this one.

When he finally got to the top and took a whiff of the air around, wanting to feel the freshness of the air coming from the water, but instead he could smell a very distinguishable scent of a certain fleabag. He immediately snarled when his eyes finally found the orange cat sitting on the stone ledge. He got an angry hiss in response and a swat of a paw, hitting the air, not even close to the dog. Y/N swiftly turned into his human form, an orange swirl forming around him before quickly disappearing when he stood on two feet instead of two pairs of paws, Thomas doing the same, the cat dissappearing in a purple flame, letting the human form take his place.

-What the fuck are you doing here, you damn mutt? - the Cat King asked, clearly annoyed as he looked at the Dog King with an disinterested look.

-I could ask you the same thing, fleabag. Don't you think you're treading a bit too close to my territory? - Y/N fired back, slightly baring his teeth before crossing his arms over his chest and walking over to the stone ledge, looking out into the view despite it being quite dark.

-Oh don't flatter yourself, I simply felt like having a bit of peace away from everyone and everything. This place seemed ideal, but now that you're here everything is ruined - Thomas answered with sass, he couldn't help the eyeroll that followed his statement as he stayed on his spot on the ledge, sitting on it with his legs crossed, one on the other, arms keeping him up behind him.

-Hm, sweet as always I see? Can your mouth do anything other than talk a load of shit? - Y/N asked another question, his eyes going to the Cat King without turning his head, a clearly unamused look on his face.

-It can also take loads, but you will never get to experience that, so why bother? - the man fired back with a smug smirk tugging at his lips, his canines showing off as the smirk grew into a satisfied grin at the Dog King's reaction that only spoke of disgust.

-As if I'd ever even let your face get anywhere near me that isn't at least six feet of distance - the Dog King said, distaste in his mouth at the simple thought of such a scenario.

That night went by in snarky comments and teasing before finally one of them decided they had enough of the company and went back to their kingdom. That was a few days ago, after that more pressing matters appeared that had the Dog King speeding to the forest in his Doberman form, picking up speed with each small sounds he was hearing in the distance. He knew those kids would get into some serious shit, but the fact they had a spy between them? A spy that worked for someone that wanted to kill them without any remorse? That was beyond trouble.

He was slightly late to the party, Monty already being exposed by the Cat King at whose sight Y/N rolled his eyes, before he reminded himself why he was there. He needed to help the kids, even though if that meant going against Esther and the agreement they made a long time ago.

He changed into his human form at the moment when Thomas was telling Edwin that the second kiss was always better before pressing his lips to Monty's for a brief moment. Y/N stared in surprise, as if frozen in his spot a few feet behind Edwin. A weird feeling started to appear in his chest, tugging as if someone smashed their hand into his chest, wrapped it around his heart and started squeezing. He winced in displeasure, before becoming mortified at the realisation that what he felt was jealousy. He was jealous of Monty.

He quickly shook his head before finally coming into the light, facial expression serious as he looked at Monty, trying not to let it slip how he felt not too long ago. There were more pressing matters to tend to than his silly feelings. He could take care of them later on when there wasn't a second death threat looming over the two ghosts and a first one for the two girls with them.

-I think it's time for you to go, Thomas. You've said what you wanted to say, if you have no intention of helping further on, just go bother someone fucking else - Y/N said, a little growl behind his words as he remained an eye contact with the Cat King while speaking, his nose scrunching slightly.

-Whatever. I'm out. Have fun, mutty - Thomas said, rolling his eyes before disappearing in purple flames, taking the source of light with himself.

Y/N looked at Edwin and then Monty carefully, assessing if there would be any action necessary like protecting the ghost from the crow or any other threat that Esther might have coming for them. When he didn't see or feel anything wrong in particular, he relaxed just a tiny bit, still on high alert for any danger while Edwin went at it, spewing out how betrayed he felt because of Monty.

When they were done there and reunited with the rest of the group, took care of the massive mushroom that tried to suck them into itself and be ultimately their demise alongside Esther, seemingly getting rid of her by sending her into a different dimension with the mushroom, only then could they let out a breath of relief while resting in Niko's apartment room. After some time Y/N decides that it's time to go back to his territory, letting the group properly rest after a night full of, well, bullshit. That was also his excuse to think about his feelings towards the Cat King. After just a minute of thinking he realized he was fucked. Utterly and royally fucked.

It was not that long after, a day or two maybe, when Y/N felt something was wrong. His mind was running a thousand thoughts per second while he felt squeamish and uneasy. Finally one thought became the beacon amidst the sea of them. The Cat King. Something was terribly wrong and it made him worried. That's why he turned into his dog form and sped towards the dogs, being careful enough with the cats he was passing, but also not letting them stop him in any way, growling at some that tried pouncing on him.

When he finally got to the docks and basically slammed through the warehouse doors, uncaring about the damage, he felt a sense of dread fill his body when he saw the last hit that a very pissed and determined Esther delivered to the Cat King's body, easily taking away his third life with her cane. He knew the man still have quite a few lives left, but it still mad him enraged with the witch, that damned fucking witch that was an ever bigger pain in his ass than the Cat King that was currently trying to get used to his new life and changing into his human form.

Before Thomas could even get a word out, Y/N let out a loud growl and a warning bark before launching full speed at Esther, leaping over the Cat King who slightly covered when he heard Y/N approach quickly. He landed right on her, making her slam down onto the ground while his full weight rested on her. He bit harshly into her upper arm before standing up and trashing his head around, tugging on it, causing some damage to her body, her head hitting concrete already making her slightly dizzy. When she got the chance to free herself, she shouted in frustration and anger, clutching her arm tightly to her chest before landing one strong blow with her cane to the Dog King's head. While she put some space between them, he changed into his human form, a clear sign of damage she made also visible on his temple that was bleeding down the side of his face. Yet he still stood there seemingly unfazed, shielding Thomas with his own body, standing in Esther's way if she happened to get another surge of violance out of herself.

And then of course when he got out of his initial shock, the Cat King had to start shouting about Esther making his lose his third life and blabber out the fact that Edwin had been through Hell, literally and metaphorically, clearly giving Esther an idea, judging by the look on her face. He simply couldn't shut the fuck up when he should.

When the witch left, Y/N turned towards the Cat King, assessing his new look, his heart skipping a beat once or twice. While he didn't like the circumstances of the change, he really didn't mind the new aesthetic. It suited him. Anything suited him right ally, but the black looked especially... Nice.

While Y/N was taking the view in front of him in, the Cat King started ranting about how stupid he was for even risking his own life like that, taking a couple steps towards the Dog King and taking his face firmly, yet carefully into his hands, turning it to the sides however he seemed fit, checking for any other damages than the most obvious one on his temple. When he didn't see other wounds, he sighed before tugging the sleeve of his coat more onto his hand, trapping the material with his fingers to his palm to keep it covered and bringing it up to Y/N's temple, gently cleaning it off of blood.

-Why the fuck would you do that? Have you gone completely insane, you dirty mutt? - Thomas huffed out in concerned annoyance, wiping away at the side of the Dog King's face, being careful not to irritate the wound further on.

-Long time ago, kitty. I felt that something was wrong and I just couldn't ignore it. You were in trouble and you expected me to just stay away? Really? For how long have we known each other that you still think such bullshit? - Y/N replied, raising one eyebrow at Thomas while his half lidded eyes slowly traveled all across the man's face, the Cat King clearly not noticing his stare since he was too engrossed in patching the Dog King up, even whipping a small cat themed bandaid out of thin air and placing it on the wound.

-Yes, clearly. If you were in trouble and I knew, I wouldn't give two shits, honestly. One annoying mutt less and did you just call me "kitty"? The fuck? She really smacked you hard, damn - the Cat King said, shaking his head and huffing out in an annoyed way, yet the concern written all over his face spoke of something else and so did the barely there blush that appeared when his brain finally processed what Y/N had called him, his heart doing a little flip.

-Mhmm... For sure - Y/N replied shortly and simply, a small cheeky smirk pulling at the left corner of his lips, his eyes still roaming all over the man's face before finally settling on his eyes, the Cat King's own dilated ones staring right back into his.

They both continued looking into each other's eyes, before Y/N finally had enough and leaned in after cupping Thomas' face in his hands gently. His chapped lips pressed sweetly, yet a bit needily into the Cat King's own soft ones. Needy to feel that everything was okay. That Thomas was okay. That he himself was okay. That they were and will be okay. The Cat King responded rapidly by wrapping his arms around the other man's neck tightly, keeping his close. They only pulled away when breathing comfortably started to be a struggle, chests heaving as they breathed deeply, forehead pressed tightly together.

-Don't... Don't ever do that again. Don't try to save my life or one of them when your own gets compromised because of it - Thomas whispered out, his eyes closing and scrunching slightly as an image of badly wounded Dog King entered his mind, but he quickly shoo'ed it away. He swallowed hard before opening his eyes once again just to be met with a big grin on Y/N's face.

-Can't promise that, kitty. Especially not when I know that now you're an unlucky black cat - the Dog King fired back teasingly with a chuckle, his nose rubbing softly against the man's in his arms that were now comfortably resting, wrapped around Thomas' waist.

-Oh fuck you - he got as a reply, a chuckle of his own leaving the Cat King moments before he was the one to initiate another kiss. That one softer, filled with gratefulness and something else entirely. Something as sweet as a cherry blossom tea with a plate filled with chocolate chip cookies.

-If you wish, sure - Y/N said into the kiss, both of them unable to contain the smile that were gracing their faces as they kept close to one another. All they had to do now was simply revel in this new feeling and let it grow like a bush of roses.

[ultimateissuessimp]

A bit of sun won't hurt

One shot

Word count: 1,103

Warnings: None

For some time now Y/N had been wishing for a perfect summer day, warm enough that he didn't have to sweat buckets, not a cloud brave enough to appear on the blue sky, a nice breeze going through his hair from time to time, accompanying the sun rays like an old friend. A day so good that he could finally put some tanning session into his schedule. Not that he needed it, oh no no, he simply wanted to enjoy every moment of the sun shining down on his skin.

But who would he be if he simply went to the beach? He didn't like the sand there. It was too coarse and rough… And it got everywhere, especially into his hair and that always was such an annoying thing to deal with. That's why he had decided to go on a walk that ended with him at the docks, nearing the Jolly Roger. A fantastic idea appeared in his mind that moved his legs again, getting him onto the ship and simply standing in the middle of the deck. He looked around for the certain captain of said ship, but not noticing him anywhere and not hearing a response after calling out his name, he shrugged his shoulders and shrugged his button up shirt off, laying it next on the wooden floor for it to act as a towel, not letting any dirt stick to his skin. He laid down on the shirt, sunglasses high up on the bridge of his nose to protect his eyes from the sun rays.

He was glad that he had put a heavy layer of SPF cream that was also a natural light tanner before he left his apartment. Y/N took out his MP3 player out of his shorts pocket alongside his headphones. He played a song that he hadn't heard in a long time. Usually he listened to a totally different type of music, but right now he decided on Lollipop by MIKA. Y/N swayed his head from left to right to the beat, lipsyncing the lyrics as he kept enjoying the nice summer's day.

That was before a shadow blocked the sung from getting him. He popped one eye open and looked up just to be met with Hook's questioning look.

-Not that I don't enjoy seeing your half naked body on my deck, but what in the bloody hell are you doing, starshine? - Killian asked, his right hand resting on his hip while the left arm rested against his side. His eyebrows raised as he unashamedly ogled the man laying on the deck of his ship, half naked and with some weird device laying next to his shiny body going up to his ears with some wires.

-I'm taking the sun in, the sun in which's way you currently are, so if you could kindly move to the side I would be forever grateful, handsome - Y/N answered, clearly unbothered if Killian actually had something against him doing that or not. He knew that the man would forgive him if he was actually mad, he wasn't stupid, he knew what sort of power he could hold over Hook. What he cared about though was that sweet, sweet sun.

Thankfully Killian moved off to the side, now standing near the MP3 where Y/N had put it. The pirate sat down next to him and took the MP3 into his hand, inspecting it out of curiosity and utter confusion about the device. He saw some words flash by, but he only caught out "Fallin'" and "Keys" somewhere on the end. He tilted his head before setting the MP3 down back onto the deck floor before leaning over Y/N, once again blocking the sun from getting to him.

-Ugh, Killian, you're blocking the sun again - Y/N whined out in slight annoyance at the pirate's antics, eyes still closed as he hoped to soon feel the warmth of the rays against his body once more.

-Oh, I'm sorry, am I interrupting you sunbathing without my knowledge on my ship? - Killian bit back, slight snark in his voice, but more so playful than actually irritated.

-Oh stop it, we both know you enjoy having me on your ship and now having me half naked on it without you having to initiate anything? You should feel lucky if anything, also you don't actually mind, do ya, captain? - Y/N asked, finally opening his eyes and lowering his shades down his nose to look properly at the pirate, a flirtatious smile on his lips as he teased him, knowing how much of a rise it got out of Killian when he used his title. He could see the pirate shiver at his words and a large grin stretched out his lips widely.

-What if I do mind? What if I want something in return for letting you use my ship as a sunbed? - Hook asked, sporting a smirk of his own as he lowered himself on his arms so their faces could be closer to each other. That made Y/N's eyebrow rise.

-Negotiations, aye? Fine. What would you like in return for using your ship's deck as a sunbed? - he asked, cheekily lifting his own chin up so their noses could rub together for a second before settling down again comfortably as if he hadn't moved at all.

-Just one thing. One small, quick thing and I'll leave you be - Killian said, his smirk widening as an idea popped into his mind. He looked directly into Y/N's eyes, his own speaking volumes as he closed the distance between them, his eyes now closed as he pressed his lips to the man's beneath him. It was quick and small, just as he said it would be. Yet by doing so he teased not only Y/N but himself too and he made it even worse by parting from him, getting up from his knees and walking off to his cabin. Leaving him feeling hot for more reasons than just the sun wrapping him up in its arms and engulfing him with warmth. Oh how that man made his head spin like a heat stroke. A very evident smirk on his face as he heard Y/N huff out in frustration. He could only count down the seconds before the shirtless man behind him would scramble up to his feet and rush after him, wanting to get more out of their little banter and it made him giggle like a child before dashing away to lock himself in the cabin. He loved summer days.