unwindow-the-window

[unwindow-the-window]

⚢

Ever pushed to your limit and told the same things over and over again To the point That you want to just completly drop the facade? To stop hiding To stop agreeing To finally tell them "I'm never going to be who you want me to be"

To tell your mother and father that you'll never live their ideal life. To tell them you're never going to become like them. Someone who believes that it's their daughter's duty to leave her own dreams behind to start a family she never wanted. That it's her responsiblity to carry the weight of her entire family on her shoulder. That it's her duty to look after her hard working husband. But what if it's not my dream to go to a good school, marry a good man and die bound to him, someone whom I'll will never truly love?

But what if thats not me? Prehaps I don't want broad shoulders and sharp jawlines, nor children and their laughter that they'll never bring me. What if i dream of slim waists and soft lips, a girl with green eyes and blonde hair?

I know you just mean well for me. That all you want is me to be happy. But every time you say those words And tell me, "We just want you to have a good life." It hurts. I know oneday when you realise that i'm not who you want to me to be, you'll turn your back on me. I don't think i'll ever be able to stand your dissapointment. I don't want you to be ashamed of your only daughter. I don't want you to think that this is just a phase, something i'll get over soon. Because its not. This will never change.

These are the words that I dream over and over of saying. You don't know, how badly I want to lay out the truth Tell you who i am. But I think we all know I'll never be able to.

Because I am a coward too scared. too scared to lose the love of the one who birthed me, the ones who raised me. the ones I'm supposed to trust the most. the ones who promised me unconditional love. You. too afraid of your reactions. too afraid to face the consequenses. too afraid of your backlash. No matter how much it hurts, I'd rather hide the most vulnerable part of myself than face your disapointment.

Because no matter how many how many sugared promises of acceptence you give me. Deep down I already know That theres always going to be a limit. A line. A dangerous border that should not be crossed. I know your love and acceptence can only be streched so far.

One day, you'll realise that you only ever loved me for what you wanted me to be. Not who I really am.

[unwindow-the-window]

I still remember the days where we swore off love Back then, we laughed at the imposible but now that i am living that immposible I realise i should have chosen my words more carefully

Now every poem i read every song i listen to every ray of beauty i see Reminds me of you

Even when i close my eyes in hope of even casting you from my mind for even a few brief seconds You are still there.

By now, i truely believe you are but a figment of my imagintaion For how could such a lovely creature exist? Someone as beautiful as you. With eyes that could bring down cities and mind that will someday bring ruin to humanity itself.

For how can one smile break me When i'm used to the lack of so many others.

Now the love that i swore would never touch my heart has broken it.

[unwindow-the-window]

fuck society

Why so unhappy? they ask

Handing over to us the world they've ruined, the society they've corrupted.

Did you expect us to welcome it with open arms?

To look you in the eye and smile as we accept the broken world you've left us?

The communities you've poisoned, the idealist ideas you've ingrained into society, the economy you've ruined?

You tell us what we should be. Who we should be.

Live with it, they say, with the stereotypes, the misogyny, the discrimination, the exclusionism. 

It's fine, they say. Just be who we tell you to be and turn a blind eye to the agony of the people. 

Close your eyes. Ignore the corruption of the rich, the child rape, the school shootings, the gun violence.

Ignore it all.

What does it matter if the people are suffering?

You call us too young, too sensitive, that it isn't our business. 

Too young, you tell us. Sit still, keep quiet.

Stop trying to understand. You Are Too Young.

And you know what? You're right

We are too young for this, too sensitive. We don't understand. 

We are too young to be excluded and shunned for fighting a war we did not start. 

Too young to take part in the war we had no reason to be in. 

The war you started. The war we will end.

A war we should never have even known of. Our eyes too young, minds too innocent. 

But

We had no choice but to understand. 

We have seen. 

We do see.

We are all witnesses to the end of the world you have brought upon us.