upsetstomache

[upsetstomache]

i think "take a hike" is like the funniest response to someone. like dude just get outta here. and go experience the wonder of nature for a bit

[upsetstomache]

Not going to live the rest of my life and not going to kill myself but a secret third thing

[upsetstomache]

The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

[upsetstomache]

oh no i’m seeing cycles and recurring themes in my own life

[upsetstomache]

nice things will happen but first you have to lose all hope and die 45 times

[upsetstomache]

Something I've come across often in reading fanfiction is this... pervasive idea that people cannot love wholly twice, and that if they've chosen one person, it's because that love is greater than the other.

It's not expressly said that way. It's couched in gentler, loving phrases like "he's never felt this way before" and "it wasn't like this with anyone else." It's especially prevalent when there is a canon love interest to be denied, or a mutually exclusive ship to push back against, and it feels like trying to quietly dismiss a contrived love triangle instead of recognizing that different loves can share intensity and one might still not work out.

And I'm not saying it's bad, I'm not saying it's problematic or amoral or something that needs to stop, that people shouldn't be doing this. I'm not saying that one true love is a bad trope. I guess I'm just asking, what are we afraid of?

Why can't the character have felt that way before? Why can't they have loved someone with their whole heart before? It's the tragedy of love isn't it- that sometimes it doesn't work. Not that the love was missing or less, but that it was there, that it was whole and full and real, that it mattered... but that it didn't change anything, couldn't work out. The circumstances were wrong, the people were wrong despite their love, it was everything and that wasn't enough. Love doesn't have to be less or gone to recognize that maintaining a relationship for it is unsustainable. A character can leave behind a great love and find a new great love, and while love is never quite The Same between people, it can be As Much.

And I guess I'm wondering, you know, how it is better, to love wholly only once? "It was never like this with the other person" is surely meant to be a soft sentiment declaring how much greater this love is, but, all it does is make me wonder what is so weak about it that if there was an equal love, this love wouldn't survive it, wouldn't be chosen.

"I have loved like this before, and I'm choosing to fight for it this time" is surely not a lost cause to explore.

[upsetstomache]

cant stop thinking about that one quote that goes “who will come into my kitchen and be hungry for me”

[upsetstomache]

i love unhinged women but i also love women who try so fucking hard to be hinged. clinging to those hinges by her fingernails.

[upsetstomache]

if i had a gf i would simply brush her hair and be big spoon

but if i had a bf i’d bully him and probably make him feel bad about himself.

don’t psychoanalyze that

[upsetstomache]

putting “lying to kids is ok” on the table immediately looks bad. but theres nuance. because kids deserve to have as much context and respect as anyone else you live with. but also. telling them that leaving doors open will make ants carry away the entire house is necessary until their brains can quantify the heating&air bill

[upsetstomache]

adhd tumblr makes me feel so seen it’s kind of emotional

[upsetstomache]

Hi I was today years old when I realized some people truly don’t have to think about every single thing they do. They don’t have to have an imaginary set of rules (I’m not allowed to put on my bra until I’ve brushed my teeth) to function.

[upsetstomache]

i need a burner spotify account so that i can listen to hamilton and not have that doxxed in my 2022 spotify review

[upsetstomache]

I think my favorite adhd trait is when something excites me so much that I have to share it online somewhere. I chemically want other people to feel the elation I feel because the only thing more exciting than a discovery is sharing said discovery with someone else. Not to mention the potential that they’ll love it too.

Book quotes, movie interviews, fun facts, pre-raphaelite content.

And it’s completely overwhelming too. I HAVE to. It’s like “Look at me and this little treasure I found. I am a crow and this is the shiny bottle cap I found in an alleyway. Enjoy with me.”

[upsetstomache]

i think having a narcissistic mother made me “perfect” out of sheer fear

[upsetstomache]

read the rest on my substack !!

[upsetstomache]

- Beau Taplin