#queer jokes

[a-gay-poptart]

I have found the best ally

Straight and cis people will say that they are allies, but you will NEVER measure up to my dentist.

Me: "Hey, is it ok if I can change my name on my info from [DEADNAME] to Sai?"

Random woman that I wasn't even talking to in the chair next to me: "Honey, if that's the name you had at birth, [DEADNAME] is your only name."

My dentist, very slowly turning her rolley chair towards the woman: "Shush."

Random woman: "Excuse me?"

Destist: *closes privacy curtain while staring bullets at the lady*

Me: *pissing myself laughing*

My dentist while changing my name in my info (reminder that English is not her first language, she immigrated from Russia): "There, Sai, you have pretty boy teeth. Smile and make all girls swoon."

Me not having the heart to tell her I'm not transmasc but I'm Agender, and still pissing myself laughing: "Thank you [DENTIST NAME]."

[raineofthedragons]

*reads a post very clearly about romance* Is this? Queerplatonic???? Is this? About my besties???? Is this? About my cat????

[what-shitfuckery-is-this-ew]

Cillian Murphy went from looking like a twink in Batman Begins to butch in Oppenheimer.

If that isn't range

Thank you to the notes for adding that he also looks like a lesbian in Breakfast on Pluto

and in Sunshine

[your-queer-dad]

We talk a lot about queer pride but what about queer lust? Queer sloth? Queer gluttony? Cmon guys we gotta do this shit

[duaghterofstories]

This ad supports polyamory.

[milomilesmib]

If sexuality was a choice there would be way more lesbians in the world because men kinda suck

[at-least-i-think-im-funny]

everyone knows I'm a fruit but no one knows the flavor. Success.

[pears-palette]

With my “Dad being supportive about me being trans” post blowing up, I figured I share him being supportive about my bi/pan/queerness.

I was like 16 when I came out to him. I remember being so anxious- I had never seen him be homophobic, but he was also an old Baptist Boomer from the Bible Belt, so I was nervous. Plus, at that time I was dating one of my best friends (we are both AFAB). So I came out and explained I was dating someone. I fumbled, struggling to get it out, and he just went, “It’s [REDACTED], isn’t it?”

He then explained that he kinda knew I was queer and was dating my best friend in secret, but he didn’t want to push me to come out before I was ready. He wanted me to do it on my own terms and just hoped I’d feel comfortable enough to share it with him.

Me being queer didn’t stop him from being an Embarrassing Dad tho, so it’s not uncommon for him to be like “I saw someone you’d find attractive today lol.” And either show me a picture if they were some celebrity/ athlete or describe them if it was just someone around town. The worst part honestly is that he’s always right. Please, I don’t want to be perceived like this by my father. You shouldn’t know My Type so well. I perish.

The closest he’s ever come to being homophobic is when he was teaching me how to drive and I made way too many, “But I’m too queer to go straight!!” Jokes.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

"you make being gay your personality" uh no

we talk about and make jokes about how we're gay, or trans, or bi, pan, enby, aro, ace and all of the lovely and valid identities in the queer spectrum. and if you think we do it too much and you're okay with queer people but why do we have to "make it our whole personality"? it's alright sit down i'll tell you what's up

(TLDR up front coz i know long posts are hard for some folks: we do it to affirm our identities and find love, acceptance and community because IT IS SO RARE TO FIND SAFE ENOUGH SPACES WHERE WE CAN TALK ABOUT OUR QUEERNESS.)

We're so relieved that we have even small spaces or people that we feel safe enough in and around to make those jokes and comments. We're so relieved, we want to enjoy that relief of not being hatecrimed, disowned, and all the awful things that happen to this community.

We're so intent in being proud of our identity and reaffirming it, when so many people invalidate us every day.

We're so eager to connect with other queer people, to be assured that we are not alone, we have a family, we have a community.

We want to lighten up the mood around queer discussions, to make sure it's recognised as normal and human, to make sure it's not a dark taboo topic.

We want to reassure ourselves. That we are safe, that we are accepted, that we are loved, that we are valid. And we are.

We talk about it, we make jokes about it, because for so many centuries, and even now in most places and for most people, we couldn't and can't. When we are able to, we will.

Some of us have different reasons, too, reasons I may not know about and that's great too! I'd love to hear the opinions of other queer folks. Tell me if you feel anything needs to be changed or clarified, too, I'm open to hearing you out :)

And as for things that are not jokes, if you're complaining about a queer person speaking up about their experiences and/or the discrimination they have faced then mate you need to leave, educate yourself on sensitivity and empathy, and only then return.

And to my queer siblings who say "i can't open this packet of biscuits im too gay for this": you guys are totally valid i too am too gay to open biscuit packets sometimes. Straight people who are offended by this: this is a joke. That we are allowed to make. See? it's that easy.

[pandathemonium]

if you’re bi and have a preference for a gender, are you bi-ased?

and further,

If you’re biromantic asexual and you have a preference for a gender, are you bi-aced?

(many thanks to my friend for the additional bit)

[urfrndlynbhdemigirl]

i am a visionary

[korya-elana]

Not a girl or a boy but a "sekhet" third thing

But it's so niche no one would ever understand what it means so I just go by the generic "nonbinary" :)

~Em

Egypt's third gender

[your-queer-dad]

If you're single and bisexual, are you on stand bi or bi-yourself?

[untitled-artist-is-gay]

[inhumanliquid]

They're putting chemicals in the oil to turn the frigging fats trans. Or something. Idk, I'm not a chemist or a conservative.

[notabeanie]

Woke up today to find a stickynote next to my bed scrawled in my own handwriting saying "fruit stories veggie tales with faggy fruit doing gay history" so I'm doing normal