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[vinylcreeps]

Ok so. September is Alopecia Awareness month. I am finally in a place where I can fully share my story about this. This is going to be long.

Anyways, I've never shared these photos before because they are really hard for me to look at. As a woman, a lot of our feminity comes from our hair. Society doesn't care if a man goes bald, it's expected and common. It's not the same for a woman. Even if you cut your hair short, assholes have something to say about it.

I've had thin fine hair since I was a kid. I remember being in 6th grade and my classmates calling me "baldy" for a time before they started calling me "grandma" (but that's a different topic 🙄) I remember in 7th grade, I cut it short and hearing the kids walking behind me in the hall ask eachother if I was a girl or boy. I remember being in drama club that same year and got permission to wear a hair piece because when we were at elementary schools doing little sample performances and classroom visits, a kid looked me dead in the eye and asked "And why are YOU wearing a dress??!" So yeah. This shit started early and had a huge impact on my self esteem.

I started wearing hair toppers (a hairpiece that only covers the top of your head, they clip on) in my early 20s. I got my first full wig when I was probably 25, so I've been wearing them 10 years now. I got to a point where I was tired of all the hair pieces and started to get my real hair bleached and toned as white/silver as we could get it so it camouflaged my loss. After quite a while of doing this, I was going to go back to the toppers because I wanted my hair darker again, so my stylist started putting some low lights in it slowly. After this visit, I took a photo of it when I got home to see what the color looked like in natural light. The first photo I posted was that photo. My heart sank and I knew it was time to shave it. (Ps. It was in no fault of my stylist whatsoever, she's phenomenal at her craft and did exactly what I asked!) I had joked about shaving it for years because it's such a chore and is so expensive to hide. I messaged a few friends and asked if they'd shave it for me, and they did later that night. I sobbed the whole time. It was a mixture of feeling like I was losing my identity and feminity mixed with the relief of just having it gone so I didn't have to fight with and look at it anymore. That was 2 years ago now, and in retrospect, one of the best decisions I've ever made.

The following two photos are what it looks like when I tried to grow it out to a pixi cut. So here's your proof that your hair DOES NOT grow back thicker. Serums, Rogaine and vitamins do not help my type of Alopecia.

The 4th photo was for a friend's project and was one of the first times I've really put it out so publicly before now. I've talked about it here and there, but wasn't ready to show anything. I'm finally at acceptance and peace with it, and if sharing this helps even one person then that's amazing.

I just want you to know that you're not alone, you're not ugly, you're not less than. I'm here if anyone would like to talk about it.

I'm not going to lie and say I'm completely over it, because I'm not. I mean just today I posted a selfie with a new wig lol But now the wigs are more for fun than they are a camouflage. I've been making myself go out more with just my shaved head, and it's helped me feel better about it. I'm the only one that cares about it, no one has ever said anything bad or mean about it. That shit was all in my head. We are our own worst critics. I wish we could see ourselves through the eyes of others.

I'm not posting this for attention or for complements or for anyone to tell me I'm brave etc etc. I'm posting this for Awareness because Alopecia in women isn't talked about very openly and it should be. The more we talk about things, the more things are understood and accepted. In turn making it not so shameful and embarrassing for the people struggling.

Thank you for reading if you got this far!

[vinylcreeps]

I love summer dinners. Stuffed cheeseburger (mine was cheddar, jalapeño, bacon and provolone w/homemade hot dill pickles and slice of tomato) local sweet corn and local salt potatoes 🤤🍔🥓🍅🧀🌽🧂🥔🧈

[vinylcreeps]

We had a much needed family beach day today. Logan and I took James and Paul to our favorite secluded beach and had the best day together, just the four of us. To get to this beach, we have to hike a trail 1.2 miles from the parking space to the beach. Towards the end of the trail is a make shift shady af bridge, we had to work together to get all our gear over it! It felt so good to get the exercise and fresh air after being stuck at home because of covid. We very rarely take the boys out right now and everyone was needing a day away. We all got a little sun burnt, but we're all pretty pale to begin with, so it doesn't take much lol

[vinylcreeps]

Final edits from this weekend's 'Wizard of Oz' shoot. My version of "Emerald City" and "Yellow brick road"

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We hung the thrift lamp up! It's my current favorite second hand find! It's absolutely not functional, but I'm still in love with it

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Out of all the photo shoots I've done, this one with Logan is my all time favorite 🖤

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More imposter shots

[vinylcreeps]

I started modeling about a year and a half ago when I joined a burlesque troupe. We have to do a lot of photo shoots to promote ourselves and our shows. I've started to get more into the local modeling community and have found my self confidence through it. At 35 years old, I never imagined I'd have these kinds of opportunities anymore because I've obviously aged out of the typical model criteria. I've discovered that I'm accepted as an "alternative model", which is more my style anyway. I'm still a super newbie and feel like I'm always faking it when I step on set, I think I'll always feel like an imposter. I'm not trying to make a career out of it or anything, it's just fun to get dressed up really does help me feel better about myself. Here's a few shots from this experience.

[vinylcreeps]

I had a photo shoot earlier, the theme was 'Wizard of Oz'. Instead of being a character like everyone else, I was inspired by Emerald City and the yellow brick road. Here's a selfie of my Emerald City look.

[vinylcreeps]

Logan and I have been busy working on our house the past few months. We bought it 4 years ago and are finally getting around to making it "us". I'll be posting progress photos and before and afters if I remember to take them lol

We love to go thrifting and found a really cool light to hang in our dining room. We've been undecided on the theme of the room, but after finding a couple piece this weekend we decided it would be vintage palmistry/oddity themed. Here is the light, hoping I can get Logan to help me hang it tomorrow! And a poster I found and put in a frame I've had for a long time that helped inspire our theme.

[vinylcreeps]

I posted this to Instagram the other day, but forgot to post here. So happy belated #nationalvinylrecordday! What is your favorite album on vinyl?

[vinylcreeps]

Try stuff. Put plants in your room even if you aren’t the best at caring for them. Attempt that dessert recipe even if it turns out ugly. Listen to that music you’ve been meaning to try for a while. The world is full of infinite sources of goodness and the best thing to do it to try and find as many as possible.

[vinylcreeps]

You will see a lot of Nugget (Nugg) and Vaida (Vade) on here. I have no idea why they were sitting so photogenic on that old TV waiting to be tossed to the trash pile, but I got a pretty photo out of it 🤷‍♀️🖤

[vinylcreeps]

Hey there, We are Logan and Adora! We are a married couple and live in upstate NY, about an hour south of Canada. We have been together for 13 years and married for 11. We have never broken up or taken any breaks from eachother. We started out long distance when I, Adora, was living in Arizona and Logan was in New York. I'm from New York, but moved to Arizona after graduation with my family for a different life. I met Logan though a mutual friend when I went to NY to visit. We spent the whole week together and he soon moved to Arizona to be with me.

We were engaged a year later, married the next, had our first son, James the following year and our second son, Paul 3 years after that. We moved back to New York when Paul was 3 months old, and bought our first house 4 years later which we still live in. Logan will have to go into detail on that first week on a separate post. He remembers every detail. I joke and tell him he is going to have to write it down and read it to me like the movie The Notebook. And just to warn you, we're quite nauseating. We're not perfect by any means, but we're pretty fucking close.

Our blog will be a mix of everything. Most of what is up in our bio. Probably some memes, and pinterest quotes and random thoughts and vents sprinkled in as well. Basically an unfiltered mix of fb, ig and pinterest. We'll try not to be too annoying.