virigngaydiary

[virigngaydiary]

Day 337

i hate being a helpless romantic cause do you mean im having my heart ripped apart by "evermore" from beauty and the beast

please god just let me go

[virigngaydiary]

Day 335

guys im so screwed, first guy im into and i feel like the dirt under his nails, delusional enough to fantasize of being together with him but not delusional enough to think he could even think about me a third of how much i think of him, all he has to do is string some words that mean little to him but will change my evening

i like him too much for heaven to be real, this longing has to take me to hell with it

[virigngaydiary]

Day 323

chat, in my head i call him my boyfriend, how cooked am i?

Day 309

computer, how to detach myself from the boy i like, quickest route, no freeways... computer!! can you hear me?!?!!!!

[virigngaydiary]

Day 320

so to be fair ... i complain a lot about not being able to find a guy to like me, but i think i should be more scared of never finding a guy i like

cause ive had crushes, but most of the time im forcing myself, to try and feel less lonely, and when i think "this is it, this is a crush" it suddenly goes up in the air like nothing.... i don't want to think im broken in this way, but something has to be wrong right? please please please im begging someone tell me im not insane and this happens to other people

[virigngaydiary]

Day 319

i think a sincere soft kiss would fix like at least half of what is wrong with me

(also side note, got told "you're the most touch starved person i know".... so that's a fun title to have!!!!!!!)

[virigngaydiary]

Day 318

so yes im still good, genuinely obsessed with them in a platonic way, not romantic ..... i don't feel comfortable thinking about sharing them and i would genuinely date them if they asked ...but im going to ignore that and choose to believe that's completely normal friendship feelings!!!

Day 309

computer, how to detach myself from the boy i like, quickest route, no freeways... computer!! can you hear me?!?!!!!

[virigngaydiary]

Day 314

i believe.....ive done it? which either means i wasn't actually interested, im in denial or in like 2 day yall are getting an update of future me calling past me a liar

Day 309

computer, how to detach myself from the boy i like, quickest route, no freeways... computer!! can you hear me?!?!!!!

[virigngaydiary]

Heya

In case no one asked today, how are you doing?

It's really cool of you to ask about others but I hope you are taking care of yourself and doing good too

(⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠) i always feel pretty touched when people reach out to ask specifically how im doing, can't believe what it took to find community was a vent Tumblr account ngl

im dealing with some confusing emotions and thoughts myself but that will be a post for another day (tomorrow)

hope yall are feeling alright too and remember to take care of yourselves too!! (and thanks a lot for asking (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕*))

[virigngaydiary]

shout out to this repost cause

*ding ding ding*

it 100% nails another part of this horrible irrational fear of our bodies

Day 302

"please don't look at me im disgusting" i say with a complete average and normal human body

[virigngaydiary]

Day 311

got told "the right will come soon" twice this week

if i get one more i am twisting that person's balls like a Rubik's cube

[virigngaydiary]

Day 309

computer, how to detach myself from the boy i like, quickest route, no freeways... computer!! can you hear me?!?!!!!

[virigngaydiary]

Day 308

in case everybody could tell just by looking at my blog

i am insanely touched starved, i seek physical affection constantly even without realizing, it's becoming annoying

any ideas how to fix it?, legit anything will help

[virigngaydiary]

Day 307

i can't understand how people don't shut up about their partners, i only have a crush and i swear i talk about him like he's the bible

maybe is the novelty of it or the fact that when you have a partner you can talk freely with them about your feelings, yet you have to actively hide a crush, but regardless damn, i hope i don't get a boyfriend on the principal alone that i will become so annoying

(not a green light for coupes to talk about their partners while reblogging or commenting, im too bitter and sad to read about it)

[virigngaydiary]

I've had a pretty big string of heart brakes your not alone it's hard being queer and finding love and your blog is great at expressing that keep it up ❤️

thank you so much😭 and im sorry to hear that anon, it sure is hard being queer and this blog has definitely made it at least 20% easier for me

expressing myself and connecting with other people who DO relate to this kinda stuff, so yeah really happy about having created this blog and just puke talking my thoughts on it

(and a reminder to anyone, if you want to complain on my asks or are interested in talking on my dms im good with that too!)

[virigngaydiary]

Day 302

"please don't look at me im disgusting" i say with a complete average and normal human body

[virigngaydiary]

Day 297

so just small update with my whole crush thing,

i am NOT confessing to him

1-im a insecure coward who sees no way to be liked back as an actual option

(even if i know that my entire blog is to complain about wanting a partner)

2-i can usually tell when someone is interested in me and i can NOT read this man

or if i do decide to do it will be in like *looking at a caledar* 9 months from now, just MAYBE tho

[virigngaydiary]

Day 295

can i call someone my ex if ive had detailed fantasies of us dating and being a couple?.... no?

*scratching something of a list*

what about dreams where we are dating? no? neither? fuck *loud list scratching*