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Therapy

Is it just me or does anyone else go to their therapist as an accountability measure to keep up with progress/making sure they don't deviate so much from their baseline as opposed to needing support in identifying underlying issues and problem solving from there?

It's the theory vs. in practice right? The "I know, I know, I knows" vs. doing the goddamn thing (actions speak louder than words). Like just speaking for myself, I know I don't give myself enough credit sometimes, but I can also be overambitious and overestimate my capacity. So, if I don't catch myself early can, I end up burning out.

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I got my foot x-rayed 6 weeks after injury. (I accidentally kicked a wall in attempting a take down during live jiu-jitsu sparring). I honestly probably just sprained it, but because I felt a hard bump forming on my metatarsals, I was concerned that there was something more--like is the way it is healing normal? According to the Dr. no acute fracture.

My mind couldn't help but justify my actions in going ahead with the X-ray for just wanting some peace of mind and understanding more of my situation...but that was $30 for a 5 min. Q&A and confirmation by the Dr. post X-ray with no co-pay needed up front.

At the end of the day...I'm fine. I'm okay.

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This song really resonates with me. I've been looping it a lot.

¿Cómo te ves en 10 años?

How do you see yourself in 10 years?

Quizá tendrás una familia

Maybe you will have a family

una casa en la ciudad

A house in the city

Probablemente tendrás un trabajo estable

You will probably have a stable job

Una rutina pacífica, viajes en verano, noches de película

A peaceful routine, summer trips, movie nights

Cenas con amigos, reuniones familiares,

Dinners with friends, family gatherings

proyectos divertidos

Fun projects

¿Cómo te ves en 20 años?

How do you see yourself in 20 years?

Hijos en la escuela, sin hijos tal vez

Children in school, no children perhaps

Mascotas a las que llamarás hijos,

Pets that you will call children

Plantas a las que llamarás mascotas,

Plants that you will call pets

menos tiempo para ti,

Less time for you

y más tiempo para los demás

And more time for others

¿y en 30 años?

And in 30 years?

Las rodillas chuecas o dolores en la espalda

Crooked knees or back pain

Gente que se fue para siempre, nuevos amigos,

People who are gone forever, new friends

Experiencia resumida en éxito

Experience summed up in success

¿Cómo te ves?

How do you see yourself ?

Yo me veo... bailando

I see myself... dancing

Y no sé si tengan que pasar 10 años, 20 años o 30 años

And I don't know if 10 years, 20 years or 30 years have to pass

Quizá lo único que estoy buscando es a alguien

Maybe all I'm looking for is someone

Que quiera bailar conmigo

Who wants to dance with me

No importa la edad para dejar de soñar,

No matter what age you stop dreaming

No importa la edad para dejar de jugar y de nadar en el mar,

It doesn't matter how old you are to stop playing and swimming in the sea

Saltar en los charcos

Jump in puddles

No estás demasiado grande

You're not too old

para volver a empezar, no se te ido el tiempo,

To start again, your time has not gone away

Cada quien viaja a su propio ritmo,

Everyone travels at their own pace

Cada uno va buscando con quién compartir su equipaje

Everyone is looking for someone to share their luggage with

Pero cuando todo salga,

But when everything comes out

cuando estén llenos de vida

When they are full of life

y solo quieran explotar de felicidad,

And they just want to explode with happiness

ven a bailar conmigo

Come Dance With Me

Es más, enséñame a bailar

Even more, teach me to dance

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I've been looping the hell out of this song recently. I've seen him live 2x already...may go see again this summer.

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I just did my first open mic! 🥰

I shared a poem that I wrote in 2018:

I know we wish it were easier.

Self control, just say no.

Our fingertips graze our lips. 

Ruminating thoughts, caught.

Time spent, concentrated.

We can't just leave it like this. 

I'm lost in these moments where

these idle hands have lost their purpose.

Settling in all the wrong places,

just feeling for these spaces.

We peel through the layers.

Constantly searching for any edge 

and despite the stinging, cutting pain,

we force ourselves to succumb

to this catatonic state.

Such a raw, ruthless rouge.

Was it worth it? In this moment of forever? 

This isn't what we wanted. 

We should have been more tender.

Honestly, I'm not surprised,

it's happened again and again.

But when it's time to start anew, 

hands clasped tight, just right.

There's nothing more we have left to do. 

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"Sometimes you have to adapt to your own situation" -Dad 2/8/25

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Witness me, but don't perceive me

Credit: @middnae on IG

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November 22, 2020

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I like spending time at the library.

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Something I found at Savers

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My dad's parents.

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August 19, 2024

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Once upon a time, I signed up for a half marathon in 2015 in which I barely prepped because ✨spontaneity✨

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