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Eddie, on Tiktok: The worst part about being married to a teacher is that when they go back to work, you gotta help them get their classroom ready

Eddie: Which that in itself, not bad. Kinda fun actually.

Eddie: But all these teachers leave a bunch of shit out in the hallway for people to take and my husband won’t let me take any of it.

Steve, in the background: Because it’s not for you. That’s theft.

Eddie: Says the guy that stole a car

Steve: I BORROWED- *video cuts out*

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"Still a dog" 😂😂😂

Steve, iterrupting Eddie’s live-stream: Hey, just so you know, I am mad at you right now. Do not talk to me

Eddie: Why?

Steve: *gives him a look like, ‘what did I just say?’*

Eddie: For how long….Ozzy?

Ozzy: *is a dog*

Steve: Oz, tell Eddie he can talk to me in two hours or he can replace my nachos that he ate

Ozzy: *still a dog, but also tired of these fools so he leaves*

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The first time Steve and Eddie ever talk to each other is in the nurse’s office because Eddie had a bloody nose and Steve is…dying? Eddie thinks he might be dying. Eddie thinks that Steve Harrington is going to die while the nurse left to call his parents and everybody is going to blame him.

Steve’s face is still pretty fucked up from whatever happened between him and Billy so Eddie thinks it’s probably painful to have his arm draped across his face like that.

“Please don’t die.”

Steve lifts his arm just enough to squint at Eddie in the dimly lit room, “Huh?”

“If you’re going to die, do it when the nurse is here so no one thinks it’s my fault,” Eddie says.

Steve just stares at him a little longer than them hums to himself, “Aura.”

“Huh?”

“Not dying, migraine,” Steve says into his arm. “Start of one. Gonna be bad in like, thirty minutes.”

Eddie watches Steve swallow thickly like he’s trying hard not to throw up and thinks that it looks pretty bad now, but he shrugs. He pats Steve on the leg, “Least your mom will pick you up before then.”

Steve snorts and it looks painful with his nose still messed up, “Fat chance. M’parents aren’t in town.”

“Oh…” Eddie hums and then makes an impulsive suggestion. “I could take you home.”

“…Yeah, okay. Let’s go.”

Wait. What? He wasn’t supposed to take him up on that, “Really?”

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Steve, in the middle of one of Eddie’s live-streams: Did you see that another billionaire went missing at sea? That’s hilarious.

Steve: You can make fun of billionaires going missing because they’re evil. It doesn’t make me a bad person.

Steve:

Steve: …You’re not a billionaire, are you?

Eddie, offended: No….Werent you though, King Steve?

Steve: Upper middle class, Eddie.

Eddie:

Steve:

Eddie: You make fun of Will going missing all the time.

Steve: Yeah, because we found him!

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😂

Eddie, to his Tiktok audience: passing the phone to someone who had a seizure when they were out with Robin and hasn’t mentioned it in the two hours they’ve been home.

Eddie: Who had, in fact, responded to my question of if anything interesting happened while he was out with “not really.”

Steve: *straight up not paying attention*

Eddie, holding his phone out: Here

Steve, holding phone up to his ear: Hello?

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Eddie posts a Tiktok that starts with an exasperated: Ed

Eddie, as the camera focuses on Steve: No, no. Steve Harrington, repeat what you just said. Repeat it word for word, exactly what you said.

Steve: All I said was that I had a song stuck in my head and I asked you if you knew what it was.

Eddie: Sing it!

Steve: I don’t know the words! That’s why I asked!

Steve, rolling his eyes: It’s like *hums a melody*

Eddie: And who did you think it might be?

Steve: Cyndi Lauper or like, Madonna

Eddie, flips camera around so you see him next to a radio: *hits play*

Radio: *plays song matching the melody Steve hummed*

Song: *by Corroded Coffin*

Steve: …well that’s embarrassing

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Steve and Eddie are sharing a room post vecna. It's going pretty well - Eddie likes the company. However, there is just one thing that puts him off the whole arrangement.

"And the torn ligament in your knee? How's that holding up?" The doctor asks Steve as he consults a chart about as thick as every monster manual and dungeon supplement Eddie owns.

"Good. Healed nice. Barely gives me trouble." Steve responds rotely.

Every day a new fresh layer of body horror is revealed and Eddie cannot fucking stand it. It's like he feels it in his own bones right down to the marrow. Eddie listens to the various medical practitioners of Hawkins General follow up with Steve on a laundry list of bone fractures, muscle tears, and concussions. It's bad enough he can't even enjoy the Super Special Ice Cream Cones that the candy stripers bring around to their room alongside giggly comments about Steve's "frequent flier privilages."

Eddie just looks at Steve with baffled horror. "What happened to you dude?"

Steve doesn't even lift his head from his pillow. He simply sighs heavily and mutters through barely moving lips, "Organized sports and Russian spies."

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Maybe I’m an old man but goddamn, these vampires with blood dripping down their chins–that’s your food!! THAT’S YOUR FOOD!! Close!! Your!! Mouth!! You think some asshole slobbering chicken noodle soup or yogurt or clam chowder all down themselves would be sexy??? What makes you any different, you sticky-stained slackjawed screwball??? Close your mouth!! Use a napkin!! And for godssakes stop looking so smug, like, “Oooo, I’m a creature of the night look at what sustains me” yeah uh huh a fucking lack of basic hygiene is what I’m seeing and it is not impressive!! At all!! My nephews are three years old and they drool less than you do!! You’re how many centuries old?!?! ACT LIKE IT

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stranger tweets part 16

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Dustin: So, imagine you're a rat, like marsupial in Africa.

Steve: Where is this going?

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stranger tweets part 13

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Eddie: Some people are like slinkies.

Steve: Explain.

Eddie: They're completely useless, but when you push them down the stairs, they never fail to put a smile on your face.

Steve: Eddie, you're not pushing Dustin down the stairs.

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