whyamithinkingaboutthis - Tumblr blog

[whyamithinkingaboutthis]

Maybe I'm just imagining not being okay ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[whyamithinkingaboutthis]

Me: *messing up the tiniest little thing*

My brain:

[whyamithinkingaboutthis]

Someone called the cops on me because they thought I was too young to drive. Like...I am old enough to drive sir, but I'm also a transman who isn't able to grow a beard for some reason. I'm really sorry for the inconvenience :(

[whyamithinkingaboutthis]

Maybe it's just paranoia, but I think my coworkers know that I'm not eating a lot at work. And with not eating a lot I mean not at all.

This is kind of a struggle because I am working at a program for people with ed who are recovering.

I don't even know if I have an eating disorder, but my relationship with food isn't normal I guess.

Anyway my coworkers know the signs of ed and me not eating and drinking only water when I got a 9h shift may have caught their attention.

They are basically feeding me at the moment. Everyday they give me candy stuff and put food on my plate before I'm able to say no. They even ask me about what I ate and when they give me food they basically force me to eat by not leaving my side until I do so.

It's problaby just crazy thoughts. Why would they actually care.

[whyamithinkingaboutthis]

How can people just eat things and not have a mental breakdown afterwards

[whyamithinkingaboutthis]

I really need someone who can teach how this works. Idc if it's as coach or as friend, but like I really suck at loosing weight. Please send me a message if you're interested :)

(Not sending nudes tho)

[whyamithinkingaboutthis]

I feel fucking awful because of that apple slice I ate after just eating way too much for breakfast.

[whyamithinkingaboutthis]

Ok, but does anyone actually have a positive healthy relationship with food?? Like is that even possible??

[whyamithinkingaboutthis]

low cal brownies

½ cup (50g)blended oats

¾ cup (75g) 0 fat yogurt

¼ (25g) cup almond milk

1 egg

1 tbsp baking powder

¼ cup (25g) cocoa powder

bake at 390°F (200°C) for 15-20 min

for me these came out ab 52 cals per brownie but it depends on ur ingredients

[whyamithinkingaboutthis]

That moment when you're working with people who are recovering from having an eating disorder and you remember that you binge purged a pizza last night

[whyamithinkingaboutthis]

Honestly sometimes I miss what the self harm tag on tumblr used to be. It was always my way of keeping myself from cutting. Looking at pictures of self harm injuries somehow took that urge away.

[whyamithinkingaboutthis]

So I recently downloaded tinder and when it asked what gender I preferred I was like "it's 2020 show me both whatever haha".

Turns out that only guys like me, cause I haven't matched with a single girl ever. After like two weeks of guys texting me my introverted self decided to just change the settings so that tinder only shows me woman.

I actually really started to enjoy tinder since then.

Now I can tell my therapist that I'm trying to meet new people without actually doing so. It's honestly a gift now that I think about it.

[whyamithinkingaboutthis]

Sometimes I just really hate being touched. You know like hugging or maybe just a hand on my shoulder. Even the way people talk to me when they know I'm not doing okay really annoyes me. It just makes me so angry and I really don't know why.