whycaninotfindausername

[whycaninotfindausername]

this is the fun stage where you get to do research!

i had an idea of making a game centered around switchboard operators, but i had no idea how they work, how they're operated or anything. then i went on a binge of documentaries about the history of switchboards, how they work, what operators can and can't do when it comes to listening to calls, what their responsibilities outside of just connecting calls were, etc and all of it just got me more excited to make this

a story concept revolving around the investigation of a plane crash is haunting me but I truly know fuck all about planes or their crashes so I could never write it

[whycaninotfindausername]

i don’t know how to explain to you people that no matter what a country’s government is like i do not and will not support the US indiscriminately bombing that country’s civilians and i don’t know why that’s a controversial take tbh

[whycaninotfindausername]

[whycaninotfindausername]

If I had a nickel for every time a straight man in a bar approached me (transfem boymoder who presents like a somewhat androgynous guy) and started piling on masc affirmations (calling me bro, dude, such a G, a sound lad, etc) only to later in the night drunkenly say that if they were gay they would suck me off, I'd have four nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's fucking weird (and mildly terrifying) that it keeps happening oh my God someone release me from this prison I hate it here

[whycaninotfindausername]

he was a cow

she was a boy

can i make it any more obvious?

[whycaninotfindausername]

i used to be in your situation and i'm going to turn 30 in a couple months

something real fishy is going on and i don't like it

I used to be 21 but now I'm 24. so you can understand why I'm so freaked out

[whycaninotfindausername]

there should be a word for that really quiet, empty, lonely feeling in your home after guests have left

[whycaninotfindausername]

When I first watched season 6 of community, it just felt like it was cynically milking a show that should have been off the air for years already, but rewatching it now several years later, I'm seeing it for what it is: a reflection on dealing with change, mourning the end of a really special part of your life, and learning to continue living after people who you really loved and cared for are no longer in your life

Dan Harmon, for all his faults, is a brilliant TV writer with a lot of sensitivity for various kinds of emotional experiences and I feel like he doesn't get enough credit for this.

[whycaninotfindausername]

I saw someone a while ago mention a conspiracy theory that hawk tuah girl is actually really bad at giving head, and honestly, I kind of believe it.

Spitting on that thing isn't some secret special trick. That's shit you learn on the first day

[whycaninotfindausername]

Sometimes I really resent the world for keeping me in the closet about my gender for so long

Like, here I am, on the brink of turning 30, and instead of having this joyful experience of experimenting with my identity that I see so many trans teens having, I'm weighing up the pros and cons of fundamentally altering every relationship I have against being who I want to be.

And this is not to throw any hate towards trans teens, it brings me so much joy to see them be able to just express themselves so freely, I'm just really jealous that I can never have that experience of discovering who I really am during my adolescence, and instead I'm having to bumble through it as a fully grown adult.

[whycaninotfindausername]

does anyone find it weird that in revenge of the sith, george lucas decided to make yoda and chewbacca friends, despite them never interacting with each other or even being on the same planet at the same time at any point in the original trilogy?

i guess it's kind of a cute moment when the audience is like "omg, yoda and chewbacca are buds", but i feel like part of what you'd expect for prequels is to show the early stages of relationships we're familiar with from the original (e.g. solo shows an earlier stage of han's relationships with both lando and chewie) rather than showing that two characters who seemingly were unaware of each other's existence were actually friends

[whycaninotfindausername]

I really need to learn to just block people who post stuff that makes me angry instead of constantly getting into arguments with strangers on the internet

[whycaninotfindausername]

thanks, dad 💜

Hey dad,

I'm like, very confident that I *want* to be a woman, but I really struggle to actually identify myself as one. All I've known my whole life is being male, and it's been so ingrained in me that it feels unmovable. Do you have any advice on dealing with this kind of feeling?

Hey kiddo! I've had completely the same experience just the opposite way, female to male. It's honestly really hard. One thing I found helpful was affirmations (repeating myself and helping myself believe it was real) and picturing others seeing me as male, even if I didn't fully. Obviously different things work for everyone but that's what worked for me!

- dad x

[whycaninotfindausername]

[whycaninotfindausername]

I love it when you're watching a show and you just see an actor for a main character on one of your favourite shows just hanging around in the background as an extra or a side character because their career hadn't picked up yet

Like, here's Abed Nadir just hanging out in the background of Gilmore Girls

[whycaninotfindausername]

[whycaninotfindausername]

story idea that's been knocking around in my head lately: being haunted, but make it a trans metaphor

male ghost: kind of a dick, really assertive, basically a representation of the external pressure to "be a man". he actually talks to you, and you can't stand him. maybe have him be a barney stinson type, always dragging everyone into whatever way he's trying to manifest toxic masculinity

female ghost: you only see brief flashes of her at first, you're not quite sure she's even there since you can't see clearly. you see her in the background of your reflection in mirrors and windows. at some point, you look into a mirror and see her instead of your reflection, just for a moment. as time goes on, she appears more and more in the mirror until your reflection pretty much doesn't appear unless male ghost is around or you're in public or something idk

at some point, male ghost figures out that you've been seeing female ghost, and he starts trying to pull you in even harder, gaslights you about the fact that she's even there. at the same time female ghost starts interacting with you more directly. she introduces herself, you talk a bit, but there's always the barrier of the mirror between you. i feel like there's potential for some kind of cute moment in that like maybe playing chess across the mirror, where you each take half a board and put it against the edge of the mirror? doesn't necessarily have to be that, but some creative way to still bond, while working around that physical barrier. you could really lean into the trans stuff by maybe having female ghost teach you make up, or how to dress more femininely or something, but that feels a bit too on the nose

idk how to actually figure out story beats or character development or anything like that for this, but i just wanted to get some of these ideas down, and see if this actually has legs.

i'm not really much of a writer, and idk if i'll be able to scrounge up the time and motivation to actually write something substantial out of this, but if you want to use this as a prompt for writing, or art, or whatever, feel free and i'd love to see what you make of it