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Of Fëanor and his sons . . . .

Choose two to protect you.

The rest are trying to kill you.

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Of Fëanor and his sons . . . .

Choose two to protect you.

The rest are trying to kill you.

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Power couple this, power couple that, but what about wimp couple?

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Legolas arrives in Valinor. People hear of this and are curious to meet him. Who's this Elf that was in the Fellowship with the last Ring-bearer? "He's from Mirkwood," they say. Some think this means he can't be worth much. "He shot down a Nazgul 's fell beast mid flight," they say. There aren't a lot of spectacular deeds that precede him, and some decide ahead of time he's nothing special. But nonetheless, they can't help being curious.

"Maybe he decided to stay in Middle Earth," they start to conclude once it's been so long and he still hasn't shown up. "I would have liked to meet him, but oh well."

And then, at long last, he does show up. And if his name had been inconsequential before, it is now being spoken everywhere, spreading like wildfire, because he has dared to bring a Dwarf with him. A scandal this fantastic has not been seen for many ages.

But at last it finally settles, and people start to remember they were curious about the Elf and not just the Dwarf. Gradually, they receive him with mixed reception. But he can't help noticing the sons of Fëanor keep snickering behind their hands every time they see him. Finally, he asks what's so funny.

"Elrond didn't tell us you were such a shorty," they say. They pat his head like a little child and smirk down at him. Indeed, they are much taller.

"Valinor has received not one, but two Dwarves!"

Legolas never lives it down.

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Idk, I like to think that Legolas was sent to the Council of Elrond because he wanted to go. Theoretically, it could have been someone else. There's the possibility that he had siblings we're never told about. And like, what if it's one of his brothers or someone who's always sent on diplomatic missions, and Legolas always wants to go but never gets to? And what if this time he just begged and pleaded to please be the one allowed to go? Considering the rather embarrassing nature of the reason someone was sent in the first place, it doesn't seem like anyone would be eager to be the one to go, but still, maybe he wanted to because it was always someone else, and he wanted the chance for once.

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Ooh, here's another random weird one I just came across again. Gandalf canonically has long eyelashes. I know, crazy right? But it's in the book! It's at the part where Pippin wants to steal the Palantir, and he notes that Gandalf is sleeping with his eyes half shut. Here is what it says: "The wizard seemed asleep, but with lids not fully closed: there was a glitter of eyes under his long lashes."

Idk why, but that one strikes me funny.

ok so, for people who have seen the LOTR films but not read the book I’d like to share some things that are 100% canon:

- Sam Gamgee uses the word ‘boner’. In a song. Several times.

- he also writes a poem that contains the phrase ‘golden showers’. (this is actually in the extended cut but they changed it to ‘silver showers’)

- at one point after he’s defeated Saruman steals Merry’s weed & runs away

- Denethor has actual mindreading powers

- so does Faramir (but he’s a nice person so they manifest more as heightened empathy)

- Gandalf ALSO has mindreading powers but for entirely different reasons. he reads Frodo’s mind while he’s sleeping at one point, casually reveals this to Frodo, and Frodo’s just like ‘huh neat’

- rather than bravely drawing the orcs away from Frodo like in the film, in the book Merry and Pippin just kind of, panic, bolt into the woods, and run directly into the orcs’ arms.

- Merry then draws his sword and hacks a bunch of orc hands off

- Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli name themselves ‘the three hunters’ before setting off to rescue Merry and Pippin because they are dorks

- they also improvise a whole song about how much they loved Boromir

- Aragorn does not initially tell the hobbits he’s a friend of Gandalf bcos he wanted them to like him for who he is. im not kidding. he openly admits to this.

- i feel like this is fairly well known but, if you didn’t know Frodo is 50 years old and looks 33

- hobbits PROBABLY age different to humans so looking 33 in practice means he looks about 21

- in accordance with the above Pippin is the equivalent of a 16-17 year old human

- Pippin can pass for a human child and looks like ‘a boy of nine summers’

- this isn’t that weird i just think it’s really cute: Pippin has 3 older sisters and their names are Pearl, Pimpernel and Pervinca. 

- Sam & Rosie have 13 children. One of them is called Goldilocks.

- Frodo has another best friend. His name is Fatty. He stayed behind in the Shire to cover for Frodo’s absence and ends up getting jailed for months by Saruman’s forces.

- Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, who steals spoons, is also jailed by Saruman. (She whacked one of his goons with an umbrella.)

- Grima Wormtongue MAY have eaten an entire hobbit

- Saruman invades the Shire and turns it into a communist hell police state.

- the whole Tom Bombadil thing is common knowledge but if you haven’t read the book i guarantee you he is weirder than you think. 

- to give just 2 examples: 1) the whole tom bombadil arc provides the explanation as to how Eowyn and Merry were able to dispatch the Witch King

- and 2) for unknown reasons sleeping in his house causes everyone to have horrible nightmares… EXCEPT for Sam who has a peaceful and dreamless night. no explanation offered for any of this. 

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Ok, but as is the case with other mythical, fantastical, and "non-existent" creatures, I think drop bears should actually exist in the Lost Cities. Maybe they have a few at the Sanctuary. Most likely the Australian humans were inspired way back in the day by the real creatures, just like the Elves claim of other fantastical animals. And I just think Keefe should get to find out that they're real after all.

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Last night I had this silly dream that my grandma met Legolas and absolutely lost her mind at how old he was. It was really cute and delightful, tbh. 😊

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Sam and Frodo dynamic

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]

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So many movies set during WW2 and not once have we received a film about the massive colonies of pistol shrimp who made so much collective noise that they actively interfered with submarine sonar so the US used it to their advantage smh

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The horrors persist, but still there is much that is fair, and though in all the lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.

The horrors persist, but . . .

you can still put little braids in your hair. 😊

Reblog with your own "the horrors persist but...." Feel free to tag friends and followers!

no pressure tags: @iwanderbecauseimlost @idontknowreallywhy @modernmythic @myfairkatiecat @glorf1ndel @suldreensophie @wife-of-legolas @my-deer-legolas @kiis1k @laisrinel @dark-academia-duchess @sauroff @greenlaut @inthehouseoffinwe @kayoftheshire @little-crowling @nevermoorsource @sophitz @brontekotlcyan @neherandunasflor @pollkien @queen-fenestra @rinthecap @theladyofrivendell @team-moonlark

and anyone else!

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Do you ever think about this? Thranduil sent Legolas to the Council of Elrond because they wanted to know what to do about losing Gollum - which was admittedly a king size Whoopsie. But Thranduil sends his son to the Council, thinking, Eh, this'll be a quick trip, maybe a few weeks, you know how it is.

But no. Legolas gets thrown into the Fellowship, which is all a top secret mission that no one can know about. They hang out at Rivendell for a couple months, and then they're off, and someone has to tell Thranduil what's up, only they can't exactly because it's king size Secret. Do you ever wonder what they told him?

"Hey, sooo.... that issue about that Gollum dude? Yeah, well, turns out it's wrapped up in something a whole lot bigger and more dangerous than anyone thought. No, you don't get to know what. And we sent Legolas to help, uh, do the top secret stuff. No, you don't get to know why. Can you at least know where he is? Well, about that..... Also no. Is he safe? Well, um, Gandalf is with him, if that helps? When will he be back? Oooh boy....."

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tumblr is like wading through everyone else’s garbage until you find something good and go “ah. this is good” and take it and display it in your own garbage pile

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"average spider eats 3 orcs a year" factoid actually just statistical error. Average spider eats 0 orcs per year. Shelob, who lives in Cirith Ungol and eats 100 orcs per year, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.

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Instead of guide dogs for the blind, I propose guide Elves for the even remotely visually impaired.

What do your Elf eyes see? Nothing about extra fees for service Elves....