I'm here, I promise.
This playlist has me sobbing-
But it also really inspired me to write, so this (fluffy I promise, no 18+) is what happened.
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You knew, sooner or later, that this would have to happen. You knew in the back of your mind, pushed back so you didn't have to think about it, that there wasn't another way to end this; god how you wished there was.
You love him. It hurts so much, but you love him.
Yuji Itadori, the one who was always there to dry your tears, the one who always knew how to make you smile no matter what.
He couldn't leave you, you didn't know what you'd do without him.
You leaned your head against your door, not even having the energy to get to your bed, playing music probably too loud through your headphones. But you couldn't turn it down, you didn't want to hear your thoughts, or the voices at his door nearby. You weren't sure which would be worse.
He couldn't leave you, not yet. Not yet, not when he'd barely lived a full life; he wouldn't get to grow old, live without the constant curse in his mind, his body. But he'd leave, you knew, because it meant saving people. That's just how he is, and sometimes you wished he'd be a little more selfish.
Maybe you were being selfish. Maybe you couldn't imagine watching a movie without him pointing out little details that you'd missed, laughing and getting too loud. Then Megumi coming and telling you two to be quiet or go to bed, Nobara ending up joining in and Megumi getting roped in whether he wanted to or not.
Maybe you couldn't think about cooking for the others without him by your side, listening to Gojo and Megumi arguing about something and nothing.
Maybe you didn't want to miss him, listening to his favorite songs as you cry alone in your room.
But the reality is, they couldn't find another way. You tried, you all tried. Maybe they wanted to be a little selfish too. Yuji was important to everyone here, in different ways sure, but that didn't matter when he was being taken away from all of you.
There was a knock at your door, one you couldn't hear over your music, but you felt the vibrations.
Standing, you paused the song, took a shuddering breath and opened the door. Megumi and Nobara stood there, tears staining both of their cheeks. Neither had to say a word.
You held them tight, choking back a sob. He couldn't really be gone, could he?
No, you couldn't feel his presence, the warmth that was always around because of him. He wasn't there, he was gone.
You could hear someone talking but the words were muffled, and you untangled yourself from the others arms and stumbled into your bed. You were playing your music again. His music. It just made you cry even more now.
At some point you must've fallen asleep, and your headphones were laying next to you, the music stopped. You hadn't opened your eyes yet, but it was warm; it felt like someone was holding you.
"Hey..."
You knew that voice. Cracking open your eyes, you saw a mess of pink hair. You'd see him smile, but you started to cry, tears clouding your vision instead.
"Yuji? Is that really you?" You felt him wipe away the tears that had started to fall until you calmed down.
"Yeah, it's really me. I came to see where you were, but you were crying in your sleep so I stayed until you woke up."
"You were- you were gone."
He brushed a hand through your hair, helping you sit up. You tackled him in a hug.
"It was just a bad dream, I haven't gone anywhere."
You laugh a little, punching his shoulder. "You better not."
He laughs, playfully pouting as he rubbed his shoulder, though you didn't hit him very hard. "I'm here. I'm here, I promise."
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Itadori/sukuna x reader
Summary: You go into a yearly rut, and this time Yuji catches you out of your room. He learns what's going on and decides to try and help you. Sukuna's a brat.
Warnings: amab gn reader(has a dick, but I try to not use gendered pronouns), masturbation, somewhat rough sex to even rougher sex w/ Sukuna, lots of biting, slight degradation? reader teases Yuji about wanting to fuck them, Sukuna is a brat, Yuji is super submissive, nice fluffy ending
Note(s): In this, the rut is essentially a side effect of your curse/cursed technique
Word count: 4.2k
With a huff, you slammed the snooze button on your alarm clock for the who-knows-how-many time - you hadn't been keeping count. Still foggy with sleep, and the side effects of your incoming rut, you didn't really care how late you slept in today. You'd managed to keep your situation a secret from your friends, feeling more comfortable dealing with it on your own. You told them that you were out on a mission, and would lock yourself up in your room until it subsided.
But now you were hungry, late in the evening; the others should be out by now, so you made your way to the kitchen. You took enough food to hold yourself over for a while longer, and it was a good thing too, hearing footsteps as you locked your door behind you.
Fucking hell- You could sense him from here, connected to both Itadori and the curse he hosted. You see, you were also a vessel. You housed the only curse that could rival Sukuna; one who was once his lover when they were human, until she was killed. She resented Sukuna for not trying to save her, but they were still connected to each other whether they liked it or not.
Shaking your head clear of your thoughts, you huddled into your haphazard mess of pillows and blankets. Maybe you could just sleep away your problem.
. . .
"Fuuucck..." You groaned, throwing your blankets off of you as your body was starting to overheat. This was one of the worst ruts you've gone through already, and knowing just how close Itadori's room was to yours certainly wasn't helping. You'd liked the guy for a while, his kind while sometimes a bit childish nature catching your eye. Then combined with your shared memories of Sukuna, thanks to your own curse, you were whipped to say the least.
Stumbling out of your room to get another water bottle to try and cool yourself off some, you froze at the sight of Itadori stumbling down the hallway towards you. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, jumping a little when he finally noticed you.
"H-hey, you're back!" His voice was lower, and scratchy from just waking up. You tried not to think about how else you'd like to hear his voice.
"Yeah... What're you doing up?" Leaned back against the wall, you made sure to keep some distance between the two of you.
Oblivious as ever, he moved to stand right in front of you, laughing a little. "Just getting a midnight snack, what about you?"
Gods he smells good- "Water." You grit out, unable to look at the other. Even in the dim lighting he looks good.
Shuffling back towards your room, you stuff your hands in your pockets. You couldn't be around him for too long; as in control of yourself as you normally are, you didn't trust yourself to not pin the pink-haired male to the wall and-
No, don't even think about it. You don't want to freak him out, you idiot.
"Are you ok? You don't look too good," the good-natured idiot came even closer, trying to look into your eyes. It was hard to see your flushed face in the dark, but he knew you enough by now that he could tell something was wrong.
You had to bite your tongue, not wanting to say anything about your rut, and besides you didn't want to focus on just how close he is, or how you could practically hear his heartbeat- or was that your own?
"'M fine. Just- I'm going back to sleep." You didn't wait for a response, though you could hear him ask about your water, and you quickly closed your door and dropped onto your bed with a heavy sigh.
. . .
"What was that about...?" he wondered aloud, a little worried. You were never really the super upbeat type of person like himself or Nobara, but you seemed grumpier than usual and he didn't like to see you upset. When you two had first met, he could hardly get a word out of you, but that was a long time ago; he hoped something hadn't happened to you, or worse that he'd done something.
Eventually deciding to get his snack, and a water bottle that he left by your door, Yuji went back to his room. He curled up on his bed with whatever he'd grabbed out of the pantry with a sigh. As a mouth formed on his hand, he frowned but waited for Sukuna to speak.
"You can tell something's different about them, can't you?" The curse grinned, knowing something his host didn't.
"Obviously. Why?" Though he'd gotten more used to Sukuna's presence, he still didn't trust him. To be fair, he hasn't given much of a reason to trust him.
Still speaking into the darkened room aloud, Sukuna pulled his memories to the front of his mind and sharing them with Yuji in turn. "You see, the curse your little friend shares a body with," an old memory, but it was clear as day. She had an almost scary resemblance to you. "We were lovers."
Yuji nearly choked on his food, surprised that the King of Curses could have had a lover, let alone said lover now inhabiting the body of his crush. It clicked in his mind after that moment why he always felt so drawn to you, even before the crush on you had developed.
"What happened?" While he didn't know why, he'd known of Sukuna's aversion to the other curse; he'd made it clear from the moment when you and Yuji had met.
"...She died." The curses voice rang in his head, the lips on his hand pursed into a frown. "She died, but even then our bond didn't break. Though she surely hates me now." He huffed and though he acted like he didn't care, Yuji could feel his concern, as strange as it was.
Though he could barely wrap his mind around all this, Sukuna still hasn't told him what was wrong with you. "So why are they so upset?"
At that, the mouth on his hand shifted. "They're going through a rut because of the nature of their curse, and they don't want to get you involved. Some ridiculous self-sacrificing act I'm sure." Yuji opened his mouth to ask what he could do, but Sukuna got there first. "It'll pass on it's own, though it won't be pleasant. There is something you could do though, if you can convince them."
He waited, getting impatient for the curse to get to the answer he was looking for.
"If you fuck, the rut will pass after." The blunt answer made his whole face and neck flush a dark red.
It took a minute to process the idea, letting everything sink in. You were ok, thank goodness, but because of your curse who also happens to be the lover - ex-lover? - of Sukuna, you are going through this rut and if you, his crush, fucked him it would pass. It was a lot to take in, so he decided that he'd sleep on it, then go to you tomorrow night. Obviously you didn't want them to know about this, but if there was something he could do, even if he was a little lot nervous to ask, he wanted to do it.
. . .
You couldn't stop thinking about Yuji. Your heart was pounding, and though it has since calmed down you certainly haven't. He was close enough you could see flecks of red in his eyes, close enough that you could've kissed him. You'd wanted to, that was for sure. But you didn't want to ruin your friendship with him, afraid of any number of things.
The two of you had a rocky start; you knew about him, and being Sukuna's vessel, though he had no idea of your existence until you'd met. With only what you knew about Sukuna, both from other sorcerers and your own curse, you were wary of the boy and didn't stick around him long enough to give him a chance to explain. But eventually, with a little help from Gojo, you two made up and became fast friends, the group often having meals together when no one had a mission.
It took awhile for you to realize what your feelings were on Yuji, simply writing it off as a different brand of friendship. It wasn't until yuji nearly died for a second time, and you weren't there to save him; you were so afraid that you'd never get to see him again, never hug him, never make dinner for the others again, laughing about this or that. You realized that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him, and you were afraid you'd miss the chance to tell him.
"You love him." The curse had said. "You're meant for each other. Like soulmates." She'd said, telling you what you were coming to realize yourself.
But you shook your head now, feelings not something you wanted to dwell on as it got later into the night.
Tossing around for a while in the messy sheets on your bed, you finally gave up and threw them off along with a majority of your pajamas, body too hot for comfort. Left in a pair of boxers, you buried your face into your pillow and groaned. Your thoughts drifted for a while between being too hot, sweat still sticking to your skin despite the fan at top speed, and your pink-haired crush.
You've always thought he was attractive, even before you got to know him. His bright smile lighting up any room, an aura of innocence around him. Then his strong physique, though you usually don't see it much between his hoodies and the Jujutsu tech uniform, but man, when you did; you'd like to run your hand over his abs, curious if they feel as strong as they look.
You wanted to touch him in a lot of places, really. His arms, definite muscle, but not too ridiculous like Todo's(Sorry Todo simps). His soft hair, though you've felt it before patting his head, being a bit taller than him and teasing him about it. His thighs, and definitely his ass. And you could only imagine the size of his package.
Biting your lip, you hadn't realized your hand drifting down your body as your thoughts turned, letting out a shaky breath. You'd definitely feel bad about it later, but right now you could only think about your hand being Yuji's as it rubbed against the bulge in your boxers. Flipping onto your back and pulling your underwear to your thighs, you shivered as the cold air hit your skin, sweltering as it was.
Even with your room being fairly soundproof, you kept your voice low, the idea of the object of your thoughts catching you both exciting you and making you anxious. You stroked lazily along the shaft, hips stuttering into your hand the closer to the edge you got. The thought of Yuji crying your name sent you over, dropping your head back as your orgasm washed over you.
After calming your breathing down, you cleaned yourself off. Despite feeling all sweaty, you didn't want to get up. Sighing, you decided you'd shower in the morning after the others left. It didn't take much longer to fall asleep, thankfully.
. . .
You woke up laying half off the bed, even the natural warmth your pile of blankets held getting to be too much during the night. You felt gross. Luckily, you couldn't hear anyone, probably out for lunch, so you could shower in peace.
Leaving your room in just a thin pair of sweatpants and a tank top, your grumbling stomach making your hunger known - you apparently didn't get enough food like you'd thought. You noticed a water bottle beside your door, grinning slightly as you knew who put it there. Shaking your head, you picked it up to bring with you; Yuji would probably try to talk to you when he got back, clearly worried about you. It's cute, but you wished you had a good way to explain your situation without him trying to help.
As much as you would like the idea, you didn't want to make it seem like you just wanted to use him to get through your rut. You wanted him so much more than that, but you couldn't say that, could you.
Quickly grabbing some more snacks, you hid away in your room again, growing tired of your four walls. With your ruts usually lasting around a week, you dreaded having to stay in your room for much longer, but you didn't want to be going on missions in your state.
. . .
The day seemed to go by agonizingly slowly, for the both of you; you in your room with only what you had with you for entertainment, and Yuji waiting anxiously to talk to you. Sukuna had told him earlier that it'd be best to try to talk to you once the others were asleep, as you'd probably be asleep most of the day anyways. That was usually the case, if you could you'd sleep as long as you could to avoid dealing with your body all out of wack.
Finally though, just as you were going to try and go to sleep, a knock sounded at your door. Yuji had to hype himself up to do it, with roundabout encouragement from Sukuna, his thoughts running rampant. 'What if you thought he was weird for asking? What if you got upset with him? What if it ruined your friendship? What if, what if, what if?' He was still fiddling with the hem of his sleeve when you opened your door, a faint look of surprise on your face. You'd started to think you were wrong, that maybe Yuji had forgotten about your interaction the other night or thought he'd dreamed it.
"Hey." You spoke softly, looking him over. He wasn't wearing much, similar to what you had on. He looked good in it.
"H-hey, um, sorry if I woke you, I just kinda wanted to talk?" Yuji smiled, anxiously rubbing the back of his neck.
You sighed, but nodded.
"So, y-you're," he blushed a little more, his cheeks already having been red, thinking about you most of the day - as well as what he planned to ask you. "You're in a rut, right...?"
Eyes widening, you blushed a bit yourself. "How'd you..." Your voice trailed off, confused.
Yuji tapped his cheek, "Sukuna, he told me. So... are you, o-ok?" He still wanted to make sure, even if he knew now what was happening and you confirmed it with your unsaid question.
After a moment, you opened your door wider and nodded your head back. "Y-yeah, just, come in and we can talk." You were careful to sit at the edge of your bed after closing the door behind Yuji. "What all did he tell you?"
"Everything, I think. The rut, the whole lovers thing between them," he gestured between you and himself, "and, um..." He looked away, unable to meet your eyes as he mumbled, just loud enough for you to hear. "The s-sex, thing."
Nodding in turn, you ran a hand back through your hair. "Right. So, why're you here then?" You could apologize for being harsh later, you wanted to make sure you didn't pounce onto him. And fuck the look he makes when he brings his eyes back to yours.
"I wanna help, a-any way I can." His face is completely red, so innocent looking, you bit your lip.
"I appreciate you wanting to help, but I can handle this on my own, Yuji."
You watched as he shuffled closer to you, take a breath and grab one of your hands. He looked into your eyes, so cute.
"Please, I want to help you! S-sukuna told me what it's like when this happens, and if I can help it, I don't want you to have to deal with all that!" Only Yuji could manage to look so sweet and innocent when talking about having you fuck him, even if it was just because of your rut.
He would look even cuter all fucked out, crying for you. You swallowed, looking him over again. You wanted to have your way with him, so badly, but you never wanted to put it on him like that. But... if he's asking you to fuck him. Well, maybe you could have him after all.
"...Are you sure about this, Yuji? I don't want you to do this just for me." But you do, really.
He nods, almost excitedly. To be fair, he'd be lying if he said he hasn't thought about you on top of him, fucking him into the mattress. He wanted you to feel better, and if he got to be with you in the process it was a bonus.
You smirk. "Words, Yuji."
His eyes widen, but he stammers out a soft, "Y-yes."
You bring your free hand to his waist, leaning in a bit closer. "'Yes', what?" Your eyes were darker than usual, clouded with lust, and it made a shiver run down the pink-haired males spine.
"Yes, I- I want to do this."
"Good." You press your lips to his, hungrily running your hand along the contour of his back.
He lets out a little noise as you kiss him, eyes fluttering closed. Fumbling with the hand not holding yours, he finally places it on your shoulder. You could hear his heartbeat, this time sure it was his, though yours was quickly picking up to match it. His lips are so soft, just like the rest of him, a bit of squish to him along with his muscle; you gave in to your wants and felt everything, moving from his back to his arms, down along his chest, squeezing his ass. He yelped at the feeling, and you took the chance to slip your tongue into his mouth.
Submissive through and through, he didn't fight it, but it was clear he didn't quite know what he was doing. But you didn't mind teaching him, spurred on by the little sounds he was making, almost whimpering. Unclasping your hands, he moved his opposite his on your shoulders and you let yours to wander beside the other.
His body was more than you'd imagined, and his sounds were downright sinful. You were just getting started though, pulling his shirt off and pressing not-quite-rough kisses along his jawline and down his neck to his collarbone. You hit a spot that made him whine, and you grinned, kissing and biting there. You could just see his expression from where you sat, pressed into his skin, and it sent heat straight to your core.
Gripping at your back, Yuji pulled you closer, entranced by you. "F-fuck, (y/n)..." His voice was soft, almost shaky as his breath stuttered the longer you nipped at his neck. He tugged at your shirt and you pulled away just long enough to take it off, taking his turn to admire your body.
Leaning forward, you caged your hands around his head, his wrapped around your shoulders. You kissed down his chest, taking off his sweats, surprised to find that he hadn't put any underwear on, and when you looked up at him he had his head turned to the bed.
You hummed, raising a brow at him. "You really wanted to get fucked by me, huh? Ready for me and everything." You lightly traced random shapes on his now bare thighs, watching his cock twitch in response.
Yuji whined, nodding, but kept his face turned away from you. You gripped his chin, turning it back. "Words, remember Yuji?"
He did his best to not just whine again, "Y-yes, yes I want you!"
You just hummed again, "Say it."
This time he did whine, long and drawn out, "Ahh~ I w-want you to f-fuck me! Please!"
You kissed him, muffling his noises, only pulling away when you needed to catch your breath. "Good boy." You didn't give him a chance to respond, wrapping one hand around his length and pressing a finger of the other into his hole. Yuji shuddered, his words cut off by a shaky moan.
It didn't take long before you had three fingers in, with the way he kept begging for more, pawing at your pants. Taking the hint, you stripped down, your own dick mostly untouched now very hard. You look at him, making sure he still wanted this. He nodded, muttering 'please's under his breath between moans.
You kept stroking his weeping cock as you pressed into him, until you bottomed out and you let him rest for a moment and get used to you inside him. He surprised you, rutting his hips into yours as his head dropped against the bed, body quivering under you.
"Fuck, fuck me, fuck me-e p-please!" Yuji whimpered, words punctuated as he grinded against you. You were right, he looked so pretty when he was whimpering and moaning for you.
Something in his voice made whatever restraint you'd been holding onto snap, thrusting into him at a merciless pace, though he didn't seem to mind, moans rising in volume and pitch. His eyes rolled back, and all you could hear besides his moans were broken pleads and your name. You had your head in the crook of his neck, and you growled, going from nips and kisses to biting, leaving large hickeys in your wake.
"I- I'm g-gonna- F-fuuu-uuu-ck-" The loudest moan he'd made throughout the night interrupted him, hips stuttering as he came, painting his stomach white. You came not long after, his body clenching around you so well. You were both panting, at some point Yuji had wrapped his legs around your waist, and you slowed to a stop still inside of him.
You pulled away to make sure he wasn't hurt, and you stopped when you saw tattoos that hadn't been there a moment ago. They must've switched accidentally, if the faintly confused look was anything to go by. But when the curse started bucking his hips, you growled.
"C-come on, I know you can take me too," he taunted, but the effect didn't work as well as he wanted when his voice was so broken and he moaned when you hit that one spot.
You huffed, but you grinned. "Who knew the king of curses was a fucking brat?" Thrusting once to make a point, he shuddered, still full of you. "At least I won't mind if I rough you up a bit."
Sukuna chuckled, sharp nails digging a little more into your shoulders. "You c-couldn't break me if you tried."
With that, you started up that same rough pace, smacking his ass. It was almost strange, not quite muscle memory leading you, moving to make him cry out the most. It was still Yuji's body, but with Sukuna in control, it snapped something into place between both of you.
'Soulmates'. You were brought together like this for a reason.
He kept trying to taunt you, but his words would always break away into a whine when you bit in just the right spot, or you'd smack him a little harder. Finally, he couldn't speak anymore than moan, pulling himself into you as he clawed at your back and shoulders. His voice broke as he came again, nearly crying as you sped up even more as you got close to finishing. You bit into his neck as you came, riding it out, slowing down to a stop for the second time.
"Satisfied now?" You taunt, and he whines.
Slowly pulling out, both of you moaning at the loss, though he was much louder, you relaxed. Yuji switches back after a moment, shuddering at the feeling of your cum leaking out of his hole. You sigh, standing to go run a bath for the both of you, letting Yuji know before he closes his eyes just in case he falls asleep in the meantime. He nods, so you know he heard you.
. . .
You ended up curling up next to each other, wearing some of your clothes, after you pulled off the dirty sheets. As the sunlight streamed through your window, you woke to your arm wrapped around Yuji's side. It was a peaceful scene compared to last night, though you definitely enjoyed yourselves.
"mm... Morning." Yuji looked up at you, a small smile on his lips.
You hum. "Morning. You alright?" He chuckles.
"I should be asking you that. But yeah. 'Lil sore, but yeah."
Nodding, you grin in turn. He probably won't be walking straight for a little while. "Good... Thank you, for helping with- this." You frown a bit, gesturing to yourself. He cups your cheek, waiting for a moment before smiling wider.
"'Course. I wanted you to feel better," he blushes a bit. "Aaand I might've been wanting you to- f-fuck me for a while..." His voice trails off at the end, pulling away nervously. But you pull him closer.
"I'm glad, cause I've been wanting to fuck you for a while too. Probably cause I like you. A lot."
He grins. "Me too."
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