xaharadesert - Tumblr blog

[xaharadesert]

Would anyone be interested in an essay about why gay people have a greater capacity for evil (according to Nietzsche, Darwin, & the Christians)? I’m writing an unrelated essay for a class and there is genuinely so much evidence from my sources lol

Note: I am gay and I don’t believe this, I just think it’s really funny how well it all lines up

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Your comments have been sorted and approved :) the list is now longer than ever

Ladies, gentlemen, and distinguished guests of various forms of existence— tonight I bring you the product of over a week of labour.

The Complete List of Ouran High School Host Club Sins

Please feel free to peruse the document at your leisure, and leave a comment if you believe I have missed a sin that you would like added.

(Note: this is not meant to be taken seriously. A lot of the sins are jokes. I also probably missed a lot of sins. Again, this was for fun, and is not to be taken seriously in any way.)

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I am genuinely s o b b i n g because my mom gave me a little engraved bracelet for my bday and it has my preferred name on it

This is the first time she’s used it after I came out, and I am so so so so so so so happy

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Just a heads up: I’m going through my entire blog and purging anything irrelevant (like personal posts and/or outdated memes)/editing some super old headcanon posts, so if masterlist links suddenly don’t work or something else seems broken, please let me know and I’ll try my best to fix it quickly!

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well

Gonna tag a few of my most recent followers because I don’t really have a lot of tumblr friends at the moment:

@iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia @thelostboys11 @wolfdragonx and anyone else who wants to join :)

last fictional character in ur camera roll just adopted u

(Yes I did do this only because I want him to adopt me. Fuck off)

tags: @cryptidwithaninternetconnection @reggie-the-inferi @gingerbreadeel24 @pickupstyx

and whoever the fuck sees this

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Kidnapped MC Turned Bandit Leader - Headcanon Pt 3

Asra Alnazar x Reader

A/N: last part! I’m so fucking tired. Thank you to everyone who gave me vague and unspecified attention on my last post, it’s good motivation :) Please let me know if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes!

TW: every headcanon set for Asra ends in angst, and this is no exception

💙Asra💙

Now I’m not saying that Asra is the only person who would never stop looking for you if he knew you were kidnapped

But I am saying he would have the highest chance of actually finding you

And he knows this

Which is why it doesn’t even take him a day to pack up everything and start tracking you across the globe

Unfortunately, he’s only human, and needs to rest, so as long as your kidnappers are on the move, he’s still a step behind

But his spells and connection to you help him stay determined, even when he feels he’s not making any progress

Eventually he would fall behind, maybe by a week or two, during a more intense part of the voyage— maybe sailing across the sea, or commandeering some horses was what put your kidnappers ahead of him

Either way, there comes a time when he realizes that you’ve stayed in one place much longer than before

This is his chance to catch up, and he does his best, but he knows that it will still take time, and he can’t be reckless

A part of him is terrified that there’s a much more sinister reason for you to stay in one place so long, but he tries to keep those thoughts out of his head

He’s exhausted, physically and mentally, and now that the end of this ordeal is in sight, his body is ready to shut down and grant him the longest nap of his life

But he pushes himself just long enough to finally find you again

The relief he feels when he sees that you’re unharmed— and now apparently in charge of a group of bandits— is enough to quite literally knock him out

After the world’s longest nap, he wakes up and feels an equally strong rush of joy when he realizes that it wasn’t just a good dream

You seem genuinely happy, and he listens with equal feelings of confusion and happiness on your behalf as you tell him your side of the story

He tries to suppress any negative judgements he may feel toward your new friends; a friend of yours is a friend of his, but he still has a lot of worry than he now has nothing to do with

Asra asks if this is really what you want to do— travelling around with bandits is a dangerous life, and if you ever change your mind, it’ll be hard to settle down again

If you decide that this life isn’t for you, and that you’d really rather return home, he’s quick to whisk you away back to Vesuvia and its associated safety

He doesn’t at all blame you for the temporary life of crime; you were under stress, and honestly, as long as you weren’t harming the lower classes it’s none of his business

Needless to say, he’s not a fan of the bourgeoisie and encourages theft from the society’s most fortunate

He also makes sure to establish some sort of way to communicate with your bandit friends, in case you’d still like to keep up with them

It may not have been the best circumstances, but some of them seemed genuinely kind, and Asra’s grateful that they took care of you when he couldn’t

But if you truly want to stay with your new friends in the first place, then he’s right there with you

He’s always up for adventure, even if he’d rather take the more scenic routes

To be honest, he doesn’t really participate in a lot of the actual crimes, since he would much rather spend time with his own hobbies

(He’s a magician, after all; you can’t expect him to just abandon his magic practices in the name of a life on the run)

But he’s always waiting for you with open arms after your excursions

And if you ever decide to turn away from crime once more, he’s got a list ready of all the places you won’t be recognized

(If he’s being totally honest, he would rather the two of you have a steady home to return to. He can sleep much better knowing that you’re both safe and won’t purposefully be running into danger every other day)

Overall, Asra does his best to adapt to whatever life you decide to live. He has his own thoughts on living a more dangerous lifestyle, but he keeps them to himself

He feels like he owes you. This isn’t the first time he’s failed you, and he doesn’t think he’s done enough to earn your forgiveness for his earlier mistakes; the road to self redemption just seems to grow longer every time he messes up, and he’ll eternally be trying desperately to fix it

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ASMR Artists (Modern AU)- Headcanon

Arcana Characters (Main 6)

A/N: I am so tired

❤️Julian❤️

Plague Doctor Takes Care of You (You Have The Black Plague) ASMR Roleplay

He starts his channel as a joke, but has fun with it and decides to keep going

Besides, a little extra income is more than welcome for a med student

None of his videos are serious; they’re all ultra specific and completely ridiculous

Minimal tingles, but people most watch him because he’s funny anyway

🧡Portia🧡

Hair care & gossip ASMR

No one knows whether the gossip is real or not

(It is, but it’s so elaborate that people assume that it can’t be real)

Teaches people how to take care of their curls

Pepi can always be heard in the background

Does lots of hair brushing and various styles; her videos are super calming and great to fall asleep to

She makes lots of compilations by request because most of her videos are on the shorter side

💛Lucio💛

Mukbang ASMR with super expensive foods

Only does livestreams because he likes to suddenly make really loud noises to jumpscare his audience

He’s mostly famous for controversies and being a troll, so the quality of his content does not really matter

A lot of people start watching him because he’s an attractive white guy and they’re willing to defend him to their last breath

Also gets a lot of hate watchers, but he still makes money from the interactions, so he doesn’t care

💚Muriel💚

Story time ASMR, usually beside his fireplace

Asra talked him into it, but Muriel ends up liking the sort of limited social interaction where he doesn’t actually have to see anyone face to face

He never shows his face, but he gets more than enough fans from his voice alone

He usually reads children’s books by request, but sometimes he reads longer ones for parts of a series

Ends up way more popular than he intended: people sponsor him to read their books in his videos, and he’s a bit worried he’s gonna mess up somehow

Sometimes collabs with Nadia on books with lots of female characters (she’s great at voices)

💙Asra💙

Soooo many magic roleplay ASMR series

Fairies, merpeople, vampires, sorcerers, etc, he’s done them all

Big fan of wood soup

Doesn’t do a lot of actual magic or witchcraft in his videos because it feels disingenuous to make up readings for a large audience

Usually adds a disclaimer just in case

Always has themed makeup, nails, and hair, and always looks gorgeous

Barely uploads because he’s got a dozen other hobbies, but when he does it’s usually a couple hours long

💜Nadia💜

Personal attention ASMR

Skincare, makeup, and hair brushing are her favourites, but she also does affirmations whenever she’s having a hard day

The videos are for her as much as they’re for her followers, since she’s super busy single-handedly running her own business

Likes to use her platform to bring attention to current world issues, and usually has segments at the end of her videos to shout out specialists and dedicated activists for her followers to check out

Preaches about mental health, but reminds her followers not to close themselves off from the world around them

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PJO fans please send me your asexual Percabeth (preferably book Percy & Annabeth because they are older) headcanons, because I am mentally and emotionally struggling on my own out here

I will put them into one big post (with credit to everyone who contributes, of course) alongside my own headcanons so that all ace PJO fans can heal a little bit

Anyway, Percy & Annabeth (especially Annabeth) are asexual, thank you for coming to my ted talk

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I apologize for not speaking up sooner: I remembered this account existed when I saw a tweet saying Tumblr is run by zionists— with that being said, unfollow me and/or block me right now if you don’t support Palestine.

I will not be debating my stance in the replies, so if you’re a zionist, don’t bother arguing with me.

Remember to keep circulating information and donation links about Palestine even after the social media strike is over!

[xaharadesert]

PJO Show Opinions

(Spoiler free! I may be a book reader but I have no plans to ruin the show for newcomers, and will delete comments with major spoilers)

The Good:

Walker, Leah, and Aryan are all slaying

Dior is amazing as Clarisse! (I was worried and a little against her casting since I wanted plus sized actress, and I still do, but she’s still doing great!)

The set for camp is gorgeous

Mr D is unironically my favourite character right now

All the early Percabeth moments are melting my heart

The Bad:

Pacing. I know this isn’t Rick’s fault since he was probably given a lot of limitations, but my stars is this show a mess with pacing

Tone: I think a lot of us were expecting something more lighthearted and comedic. I don’t hate the darker aspects and more psychological stuff, but I wish we had some more sarcasm from Percy, or just more scenes like Mr D’s intro

What happened with Gabe?? I’ve seen people say they actually LIKE him, which is terrifying. What are they gonna do with him at the end?

Grover is way too brave… let the man be a coward. He was panicky in the beginning, which was good, but the scene with Ares at the diner felt very out of character, and I know I’m not the first person to say that

I wish we had gotten a little more time with Luke so I could actually get attached to him before the inevitable

The action sequences are severely lacking

The WORST:

What did they do to my girl Annabeth??????

(Love Leah, she’s great, nothing against her, this is a writing problem)

Why is she so competent?? And stoic?? And silent??

MY Annabeth is an annoying 12-year-old girl who is stubborn and flawed and literally never shuts up about her interests

THEY TOOK AWAY HER AUTISM

New Annabeth is too cool, give me back my baby

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7 More of My Favourite Horror (Adjacent) Movies and Why You Should Watch Them

(Not in any particular order or subgenre. TW are vague, spoiler free, and from my memory, but you should Google any of these before you watch them. Not all triggers are listed because it’s horror and stuff like death and murder is common)

Part 1 here!

1. Fractured

A man waits in a hospital for his daughter and wife to return from some tests, but they seem to have gone missing.

If you like being sad and also confused (like me), then this is a great film for you! Don’t worry, the end will clear things up, but until then you’ll have a hundred of your own theories developing. Definitely a movie that you have to pay attention to, but it’s not difficult once the mystery begins.

Scary: 1/10

Gore: 2/10

Disturbing: 4/10

Psychological: 9/10

Actual genre: psychological thriller

TW: insanity

2. The House

An animated anthology of three short films all centring around the same house.

Gorgeous animation, fast paced, and constantly off-putting. Each of the short films is vastly different, but they’re all very unsettling in their own way. The second was my personal favourite, but I’d say the first was the most disturbing. The third one is a nice way to ease you out of the absolute horror of the first two so you can go about your day without letting the film consume your thoughts.

Scary: 3/10, 3/10, 1/10

Gore: 0/10, 0/10, 0/10

Disturbing: 6/10, 5/10, 2/10

Psychological: 3/10, 4/10, 2/10

Actual genre: horror comedy

3. I Saw The Devil

After a man’s wife is brutally murdered, he puts his life on hold to hunt down the killer and make him suffer.

As far as non-horror movies go, this is by far one of the most disturbing. The murderer is one of the worst you’ll see play an extended part in the movie, which would be awful if it weren’t for the fact that most of the film is the protagonist purposely letting the killer get away just so he can hunt him down and attack him again. The protagonist isn’t an objectively good character either, but there is something very satisfying about watching him take out his extended revenge.

Scary: 3/10

Gore: 7/10

Disturbing: 7/10

Psychological: 3/10

Actual genre: action thriller

TW: rape, sexual assault, graphic gore, cannibalism

4. Hard Candy

A 14 year old girl decides to meet up alone with an older man she met on the internet and go to his house.

Elliott Page my beloved. One of his earlier works, but still amazing. I’m not sure if these one really qualifies as horror, as it’s definitely more of a revenge fantasy, but the first 20 or so minutes had me very worried. Definitely an unsettling atmosphere, but after the first little bit it’s absolutely amazing. Would recommend to anyone, but especially to women who are tired of seeing other women and girls victimized by the narrative.

Scary: 2/10

Gore: 2/10

Disturbing: 4/10

Psychological: 3/10

Actual genre: psychological thriller

TW: pedophilia, surgery, suicide

5. Last Night in Soho

A young girl rents a room while off at college and starts dreaming of the life of the girl who lived there before her in the 60s.

This movie made me cry more than once (but in a good way). I genuinely forgot it was a horror movie for the first 45 minutes or so, and then was very rudely reminded. Gives off the same vibes as Coraline, but in a more adult sense. Absolutely gorgeous cinematography and the character arcs make me feel so many emotions. Also it has Matt Smith, and that immediately sold me on it. Another movie I would recommend especially to women.

Scary: 3/10

Gore: 3/10

Disturbing: 6/10

Psychological: 8/10

Actual genre: psychological horror

TW: rape, prostitution, suicide, insanity

6. As the Gods Will

Every high schooler in Japan is abducted by aliens and made to compete in murder games to determine who is the most worthy.

Absolutely batshit insane movie with some of the weirdest… everything. Genuinely hilarious at times, but also immensely gory and occasionally heart touching. I urge you to go into this with zero expectations. Just have fun. Probably the type of movie to watch with your friends when you’re drunk, or alone at 3am when you’re sleep deprived.

Scary: 2/10

Gore: 6/10

Disturbing: 5/10

Psychological: 3/10

Actual genre: supernatural horror

7. Tusk

A podcaster visits an old man’s remotely located home to interview him.

OKAY HEAR ME OUT. I know this made the rounds on TikTok for being awful, but it’s seriously one of my favourite. Also batshit insane, but with a perfect blend of comedy, psychological horror, and really creepy practical effects. There’s no one to root for in this film; everyone is awful. But seriously, a great movie to watch if you have no expectations. I’ve seen it 3 times. Also, oddly specific, but I feel like if you like Angel’s of Death for the psychological aspects, then you’ll like this too.

Scary: 3/10

Gore: 2/10

Disturbing: 6/10

Psychological: 4/10

Actual genre: body horror comedy

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10 of my Favourite Horror (Adjacent) Movies and Why You Should Watch Them

(Not in any particular order or subgenre. TW are super vague, spoiler-free, and from my memory, but I would recommend looking up more specific ones before watching any of these if you are easily triggered. Not all triggers are listed because these are horror movies, so stuff like death and murder is to be expected.)

Let me know if y’all want a part 2, because I’ve got about 7 more! (It could have been one post if Tumblr didn’t limit my images to 10)

1. Parasite

A struggling lower class family slowly integrates itself into the household of a rich family without their knowledge.

Most of you have already seen this one, or been told to watch it. I am no different: this movie is popular for a very good reason. Divided into 3 clear acts, starting with comedy, and making its way through drama into horror. Also, great commentary on classism, very psychological at times and makes you wonder who you should really be rooting for.

Scary: 2/10

Gore: 3/10

Disturbing: 5/10

Psychological: 6/10

Actual genre: Dark comedy thriller

2. The House That Jack Built

Serial killer Jack recounts some of his most influential murders.

A bit infamous and controversial for being very messed up, but still really good. Highly psychological, with a lot of narration and use of metaphor. Especially fun if you have any knowledge of Dante’s Inferno. Definitely not one to watch if you want a protagonist to root for.

Scary: 3/10

Gore: 6/10

Disturbing: 10/10

Psychological: 8/10

Actual Genre: psychological horror art

TW: sexism, corpse mutilation

3. Creep (1&2)

A man is hired to help film messages from a dying man to his son.

I’m usually not a fan of found-footage, but there’s something special about Creep. On top of that, this is one of the few movies where I can confidently say I like the sequel more, which is shocking because the first one was amazing. Very funny and off-beat, with a sense of foreboding underlying the whole thing.

Scary: 3/10

Gore: 1/10

Disturbing: 3/10

Psychological: 4/10

Actual genre: found footage psychological horror

4. Mother!

A woman and her poet husband live quietly in a secluded house away from society.

Very metaphorical and highly feminist; definitely not a movie that everyone appreciates, but if you enjoy analysis or just being really weirded out then this is a good for you. Starts slow and snowballs toward the horrific climax.

Scary: 3/10

Gore: 7/10

Disturbing: 7/10

Psychological: 8/10

Actual genre: psychological horror

TW: cannibalism

5. Perfect Blue

Mima is a young pop star looking to join the acting industry.

Brutally realistic to the point where I had to stop watching and take a walk at one point. Very much “female rage” and a protagonist that will live in your head rent free for the next 6 years (or maybe that’s just me). Very triggering in a lot of ways, but worth it if you’re not sensitive to the topics it covers.

Scary: 5/10

Gore: 4/10 (animated)

Disturbing: 8/10

Psychological: 10/10

Actual genre: psychological thriller

TW: depersonalization/derealization, nudity, stalking, rape scene (she is acting in a tv show but it is still the most uncomfortable scene of the movie), inaccurate portrayal of DID

6. Midsommar

A couple and their friends go on a vacation to their friend’s remote hometown for a Midsommar festival.

Probably the best-known out of this list, and again for a good reason. 90% of the film takes place in broad daylight, and the visuals are absolutely gorgeous. Once again will bring up the question of who is in the right and who is in the wrong (I have the answer to this question and I will fight you in dms if you’d like).

Scary: 3/10

Gore: 8/10

Disturbing: 8/10

Psychological: 7/10

Actual genre: folk horror

TW: long and graphic sex scene, nudity, close up and graphic gore, cult stuff, suicide

7. The Call

A woman moves back to her childhood home and receives a call from the woman who lived there 30 years prior.

I got really into modern Asian horror films a few months ago and this is one of my favourites. The dynamic between the protagonist and antagonist is one of my favourites, and finishing this movie felt like finishing a 3 season TV show because of how well paced it was. Really hoping there will be a sequel with the same concept, even if it is not likely.

Scary: 6/10

Gore: 3/10

Disturbing: 6/10

Psychological: 6/10

Actual genre: psychological thriller

TW: abuse

8. Incantation

A cursed woman takes back custody of her young daughter and does everything she can to keep away the effects of her curse.

This one was popular on TikTok for a while, and for good reason. Another found footage in a more traditional sense, and a bit confusing at times, but overall a really solid scary story. Very cool effects as well.

Scary: 6/10

Gore: 4/10

Disturbing: 6/10

Psychological: 5/10

Actual genre: supernatural horror

TW: derealization

9. Pearl

A farm girl dreams about leaving home and living as a show girl.

Mia Goth is a national treasure, but we all knew that already. I watched this one before X (the actual first movie) because I didn’t know they were connected, but I much preferred this one. The Wizard of Oz vibes combined with Pearl’s unsettling behaviour made is a really creep film to watch.

Scary: 4/10

Gore: 4/10

Disturbing: 6/10

Psychological: 5/10

Actual genre: horror

TW: porn

10. The Platform

A man is stuck in a prison where a platform of food is lowered through the layers of cells for inmates to eat as they please.

I’m a sucker for psychological movies that take place in a very limited space. If you’ve ever played and enjoyed the game Presentable Liberty then I’m gonna go ahead and say you’ll like this too. Not every question is answered, but the film is more about the human condition than the prison they inhabit, so it’s not too much of a problem.

Scary: 2/10

Gore: 9/10

Disturbing: 8/10

Psychological: 9/10

Actual genre: social science fiction horror

TW: cannibalism, suicide

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MC’s Familiar Having a Crush on LI’s Familiar - Headcanon

Arcana Characters (Main 6 + Familiars)

A/N: another poll winner! The request for this one specifically asked for the reactions of the LIs and their familiars, so it doesn’t really fall into “x MC” territory :) also, I’m leaving the species of MC’s familiar purposefully vague, but with the assumption that it’s not the same species as LI’s! Please let me know if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes!

TW: swearing in Lucio’s section

❤️Julian❤️

As a man of science, he has many questions

Are relationships between different species common in the magical world? Does a “crush” indicate that familiars have a similar level of sentience to humans? Is this an innate trait, or something that manifests as a result of magic?

The temptation to launch a scientific investigation is strong in this situation, but he restrains himself

It feels immoral to toy around with love, even if he doesn’t really understand it

However, that means that he’ll be supporting this crush from both the standpoint of a friend and a scientist

🌑Malak🌑

He had never really thought about romance before

Most of his time was spent bothering people and collecting shiny things, and he was content with that life

So finding out that another creature had a crush on him was an odd experience, to say the least

Not to mention that it was someone he already knew, and shared a strong connection with

He thinks he might give it a try. He won’t be sharing his collection of shiny things, though

🧡Portia🧡

Immediately thinks it’s the cutest thing to ever happen

100% supportive, no matter the species difference

Gives your familiar the shovel talk (Pepi is her baby, after all)

Makes all the classic parent jokes about keeping the door open

After making that joke, she sits in silence and contemplates the reality of the relationship, and now also has many questions

Will not be asking them though; might ask Julian about it later

🐈Pepi🐈

Embarrassed by her mother, which is difficult to achieve, given that she is a cat and feels no shame

When she finds out about the crush, she just kind of shrugs it off

It makes sense, after all; she is a cat, and cats are perfect

If the crush seems serious, then she’s willing to reciprocate

Probably would not be the best partner— she prefers to spend her time napping in the sun, so if your familiar is high energy then it might not work out

💛Lucio💛

What the fuck

Like, genuinely, what the fuck

I mean, he’s not really one to judge, given his own weird tastes

But, like, really? How the fuck does that happen?

Thinks his dog(s) can do better than your familiar, and makes this well-known

🐾Mercedes OR Melchior🐾

Makes perfect sense to him— he would fall in love with himself too

Not really interested in reciprocating though: he is a very busy boy

Many squirrels to chase and bones to chew

May pursue a more dedicated friendship, though

And if he’s feeling generous, then he may share one of his toys with your familiar

💚Muriel💚

A bit hesitant at first

He’s a very reserved kind of man, and he really only has Inanna by his side all the time

So he doesn’t know how he feels about losing her to any degree

But if it makes her happy, then he’ll support it

After all, it’s your familiar, and he trusts you

🐺Inanna🐺

Really did not expect that

Immediately rejects the crush, partly out of panic, because she really doesn’t want anything to change

But over time, she realizes she might like something more with your familiar

Eventually, the crush is returned

Mostly, she truly feels comfortable with it when she realizes she will always have Muriel’s support

💙Asra💙

Makes perfect sense to him; he’s loved you for years, so it’s only natural that Faust would form a bond with your familiar as well

He thinks it’s really cute, and encourages them to spend time together

Sometimes jokes with Faust about her “snake charm”

As a bonus, your familiars spending time together means that the two of you can spend more time together as well

Most definitely plans double dates (platonic or romantic)

🐍Faust🐍

Faust had a crush on your familiar before they had a crush on her

So she’s delighted to see it’s returned!

Very enthusiastic about having a partner

If your familiar is larger, then she’s hitching a ride whenever they hang out

Very cuddly for a snake, especially if your familiar gives off body heat

💜Nadia💜

Keeps her thoughts to herself while she tries to understand how exactly your familiar can have a crush on hers

She doesn’t want to judge what she doesn’t understand, so she asks you a few questions about it

Once she gets the gist of it, she’s very supportive, and finds it rather cute

Keeps an eye on Chandra though, since she knows her familiar likes her personal space, and helps to enforce boundaries

Overall thinks it’s harmless fun

🦉Chandra🦉

Eh

She’s not into romance, and let’s your familiar down as easily as she can

Still wants to be friends, but needs her own space

She’s a very solitary creature, and she has no desire to change

Will still occasionally be more affectionate to your familiar when she sees that they’re feeling down

[xaharadesert]

Y’all, as much as I’m loving all the new requests coming in, I’m gonna have to tap the sign again

[xaharadesert]

Over-Apologizing MC - Headcanon

Arcana Characters (Julian, Portia, Asra) x MC

A/N: here’s #7, the winner of the poll! The person who sent in the request was anonymous, so I feel slightly less bad about writing it 6 months after it was submitted hehe :) (side note: I’m Canadian, so my definition of over-apologizing may be vastly different than yours) please let me know if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes! (End note: y’all need to be grateful that I have learned self-control, because every time I write for Asra the opportunity and temptation for angst is incredibly powerful)

❤️Julian❤️

He’s a somewhat clumsy man himself, so he can relate to constantly apologizing

He always quickly dispels any guilt he senses you’re feeling, often saying not to worry, or that it’s no issue when you apologize

To be honest, at first he doesn’t even realize that you say you’re sorry even when you’re not in the wrong

If he hears you apologizing when you’re in a different room, he assumes you’ve knocked something over and he just didn’t hear— he’ll shout a quick “no worries, my love, you’re fine” and then go back to whatever he was doing before

He only catches on when someone bumps into you in the market while you were standing still, and you decided to apologize while stranger glared at you

Now that just wouldn’t stand

He was quick to correct the situation— much to the chagrin of the stranger— since he assumed you had apologized on reflex

But when you began insisting it was your fault, even though it clearly wasn’t, he made a note to himself to keep an eye on what he was beginning to think was perhaps a bad habit

And lo-and-behold, this was definitely a pattern of behaviour that he immediately knew he would have to help correct

There is a difference between being polite and being a doormat, as he would gently try to inform you

Fortunately for you, if you ever backpedaled and started apologizing more than you should again, Julian would be more than happy to step in and correct the situation

Of course, that doesn’t change the fact that he’s a self-deprecating hypocrite who also apologizes much more than he should

So standing up for each other becomes the new habit— even if you both apologize far too often for yourselves, you both keep an eye out for when your partner is doing the same

And slowly, you work your way out of it

🧡Portia🧡

Unfortunately for you, Portia is the kind of woman to get sick of constant apologizing pretty quickly

She lived through it for years with Julian, and she’s not willing to go through it again

She notices the pattern within a few weeks of living together; at first she thought you were just nervous about the next step in your relationship, but she quickly realized that there was an underlying problem

Not wanting to be insensitive, she tries correcting it from a couple different angles

Her first guess is anxiety, so she tries to reassure you that you’re fine, even in small situations where there would be no indication otherwise

The next is a lack of confidence, so she starts standing up for you whenever she thinks you need backup

This one can come in a few different forms:

There’s the classic “THAT’S MY SPOUSE!” punch in the face whenever someone disrespects you

But there’s also moments where she starts threatening the vegetables that rolled off the cutting board when you were cooking

At least she’s consistent

When she can’t figure out some deeper meaning behind your apologizing, Portia ends up sticking with the same tactic that worked with Julian

“Stop.” “No.” “Literally don’t.”

As time goes by, those three phrases become more exasperated, but also more effective

She adds to this method by giving you a kiss every time you catch yourself and don’t apologize for something that isn’t your fault

Portia has never read about Pavlov, but she’s still a dedicated student to his methods

💙Asra💙

He’s lived with your habits the longest, and doesn’t really think he can change them at this point

It’s not like they bother him though; the apologies don’t hurt anyone, and as long as there aren’t any underlying issues of anxiety or a lack of confidence, he sees no reason not to let you continue

And although he would never admit it out loud, it provides him the opportunity to ask “for what?”, which he thinks is hilarious even if you don’t

The funniest part, in his opinion, is that you usually don’t have an answer

If there were cameras in Vesuvia, he would take a picture every time you started staring off into space, looking for an answer that doesn’t exist

He’s not mean though; he would never do this in any kind of situation where someone else was in the wrong

If that were the case, he would step in immediately

He can’t stand to see you take the blame for something you didn’t do

Most people are kind enough to admit their own fault, and they’ll apologize to you in turn

But occasionally someone will be a complete dick, and in that case Asra takes the opportunity to verbally destroy them

It usually only takes one oddly specific insult for them to change their mind and apologize

And if you dare to then apologize to Asra for the hassle of defending you?

That’s probably the only situation where he will actually tell you to stop

Defending you and taking care of you will never be a burden to him; it will always be a gift to stay by your side

[xaharadesert]

Kidnapped MC Turned Bandit Leader — Headcanon Pt 2

Portia Devorak x MC

A/N: every time someone sends me an ask anonymously I get to neglect it for months without guilt :) please let me know if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes!

🧡Portia🧡

Absolutely inconsolable when you first went missing

This woman is not afraid to cry whenever she has too many emotions, which is perfectly healthy, aside from the fact that she was constantly dehydrated from the consistent tears

She feels useless since she’s pretty much stuck in Vesuvia waiting for her more powerful friends to help find you

A lot of time is spent pacing around the palace grounds (Nadia, of course, gave her time off) and unintentionally scaring off anyone who didn’t know her (when she wasn’t crying, she looked like she was gonna punch someone)

Fortunately for Portia, she has more healthy coping mechanisms than most of the people around her, and plenty of friends to help her through hard times

Although she never once gave up hope that you would come back, she got back to work pretty quickly and kept busy

She also decided that when you did get back, the two of you would need to celebrate

Honestly, she knew she was steering more into delusion with that last one, but she needed something positive to look forward to

If she couldn’t control any part of the search for you, then she could at least control what would happen when you got back

Luckily for Portia, her naive daydreams actually paid off when you suddenly returned a few months after your disappearance

It was Julian who alerted her to your presence at the Rowdy Raven, having sprinted all the way to her cottage when he first spotted you (he sprinted back to the tavern with her too, so he was thoroughly out of breath and wheezing on the floor for a good ten minutes when they returned)

Portia had spent a good deal of time thinking up a variety of opening lines for when she first saw you again, with a few options for each of the dozens of circumstances

But really, when she saw you, all of that left her head and she once again burst into tears

Doesn’t matter if you were sitting, standing, or dancing: Portia barrelled into you at speeds that even professional sprinters would be astonished by

It might have been a little painful for the both of you, but frankly Portia was so happy to see you that she didn’t even care

Absolutely no coherent sentences were exchanged; the two of you just sat on the floor, clinging to each other while she sobbed

Now, at this point your bandit gang was probably a bit curious, but respectfully kept their distance

Portia didn’t really notice, given that she didn’t care about anything other than the fact that you were back, and you were apparently okay

But it would definitely be a topic of discussion between you and Portia, as well as you and your gang, later

Portia wouldn’t calm down for the rest of the night— all plans for a celebration forgotten— so you would inevitably return to your shared home with a promise to your new friends to find them the following morning

Portia insisted that you have some homemade food, and wrapped you in blankets to cuddle

She sat beside you, really just basking in the fact that you were home

Eventually, she dozed off, and the two of you were stuck on the couch for the rest of the night

So waking up was a little painful, with sore muscles and faces puffy

But it was more than worth it to still be together

Breakfast came first, per Portia’s orders, but the conversation about where you had been came shortly after

Portia was torn between being mad, since you definitely could have come home sooner, and being astonished by your adventures

To her credit, she sat and listened with more patience than she had ever used in her life

And the first question out of her mouth was “when can I meet them?”

The “them” in question was your new gang of bandits that you were apparently now leading

Being one of the more open minded people in Vesuvia (not to mention being Julian’s sister), Portia was more than willing to give all of your new friends a fair chance before passing judgement on them

Although, she may have already been slightly biased since she was still pissed that you hadn’t come back sooner

But she could talk to you about that properly later

For now, it was time to learn all about your new life, and how exactly she could fit into it

And, yes, she would be fitting into it, because you had just become 20x cooler and there was no way she was ever letting you go now

[xaharadesert]

Happy 6th bday to my blog :) there is nothing here but Arcana content and the occasional drawing, yet somehow I still consider it one of my greatest achievements