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yoongimain · 2 years

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Need You To Be Sure (pt.2) | kth

Pairing: Taehyung x Femme!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Romance.

Warnings: Vulgar language. Angst. Complicated feelings. This is essentially the healing part of the relationship.

Songs: As it was - Harry Styles, Beg for you - Charli XCX & Rina Sawayama

Words: 2,228

Taehyung - 1995

Femme Lead - 1998

Note: I honestly was not expecting the love that the first chapter of this got. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!! I worked hard on this “Post breakup” chapter, and hope y’all enjoy it! As always, please leave a comment below and let me know how I did! Please read PT 1 if you have yet to do so here: BS1

Some italicized lines are the OC’s thoughts!

Date Posted: 8/31/2021

Three weeks have passed since receiving the photo.

Three weeks of heartache while constantly checking your phone for literally anything from Taehyung.

You miss him more than you dared to admit.

The warmth in his arms each night. The dumb fights over what to watch. His drumming fingers on your thighs when you finally decided on something.

There was not a single day that passed by where you didn't consider swallowing your pride and messaging Taehyung.

But you couldn’t.

Ever the stubborn person, you waited for him to call first.

It's only right, considering the photographic proof sent to you. The thought of that photo alone makes you sick to your stomach.

So, you waited. Day by day, one empty lactose-free ice cream pint after another.

Each passing day leaves you with an intruding thought.

Like if he even misses you the way you miss him, or if he was just utilizing his time erasing you.

What if you didn’t see that photo? What if you hadn’t argued?

Even better: What if you never proclaimed your feelings last year?

Would any of this have made a difference?

Short answer: No, not really.

You would still have the complicated feelings you have. You would still see him with someone else in his clutches, someone who would have never been you.

You would still feel numb, lying in your room alone.

You finally pushed yourself to move all of Taehyung’s belongings into a bin to store away in your closet.

With each photo, small decoration and article of clothing, you could feel your heart crack a little further. Because at the end of the day, you knew that you weren’t ready. Deep in your heart, you knew you would never be able to let go of Taehyung.

Not after all the years you spent together.

Not after allowing him into each deep corner of your heart.

The room you found comfort in was unrecognizable. Your bed seemingly empty as his side of the bed was no longer occupied.

One day, you may even forget that it was ever his side in the first place. You’ll slowly forget how his arms feel around you.

That day just won’t be today.

Almost as an alarm, you receive a message.

Namjoon: “At the least, let me know you are safe.”

Safe? Were you safe?

Physically, sure. You were still kicking as any living person would.

Mentally? Who even knew anymore?

You shouldn’t lock yourself away in your bedroom. You knew that.

There just wasn’t anything worth leaving for.

There are only so many distractions that you can entertain before Taehyung is front and center in your brain again.

You’ve turned your apartment upside down, cleaning every crevice. Every cabinet has been reorganized, and every piece of furniture has been moved.

You have indulged in your art once again. Painting, sketching and even sculpting with trash.

Everything you did was no use, though. You still made an imaginary space for Taehyung. You still painted him, drew him, thought of him.

Each time he came to view, you found yourself broken down at square one once again.

So here you are, lying in bed, staring at your phone. Ready to give up and forgive him for everything.

“No, it isn’t funny!” You hear your sister’s voice boom through the apartment, notifying that she is finally home. A faint laughter follows her telling you she isn’t alone.

“I don’t know, it sounds pretty funny to me!”

You drag a hoodie over your head and peek your head into the hallway.

“Are they home?” The mysterious voice asks.

“I’m pretty sure. I should get them to come eat.” Your sister says. Her footsteps echoing through the apartment and to your room.

“Hey! Come eat, Jimin and I got you some goodies!”

“Alright.”

You lean on your elbow, gently stabbing at the food in front of you with a fork. Jimin and your sister were conversating beside you, enjoying their meals as well.

“Ah! That reminds me. Jungkook is hosting a party this weekend. Would you both like to come?” Jimin asks with excitement.

Your silence is louder than you intend. It has been a few weeks or so that you have last seen everyone.

Slowly releasing your utensil onto the table, you smile.

“I am fine with staying home, but you should definitely go.” You say to your sister, giving the most gentle answer you could.

It is true that Jimin always has pure intentions, but you couldn’t help but to feel hurt that he would ask that. Which, Jimin realizes as soon as your sister serves him an under-the-table kick.

“I’m sorry. I just figured it has been a while.” He says. Visibly embarrassed, he takes a sip of his drink.

“I would have to think about it. I don’t know if I am ready just yet.” You say.

Your sister clears her throat and diverts the conversation, bringing Jimin’s attention to a new bong piece she had found at The Third Planet recently.

You quickly use the distraction to excuse yourself back to your room and further wallow in your feelings again.

Letting your head hit your pillow full force, your mind paces again.

It isn’t that you didn’t want to go, you haven’t seen your friends in forever.

Namjoon hasn’t stopped messaging you either.

But the chances of running into Taehyung?

High, very high.

After tossing and turning, you reach for your phone again. Unlocking it and looking back at your messages with Jimin.

The last message remains the same. The photo that has taken all your nights of sleep.

The discomfort lurches up from your chest again, forcing you to sit up.

Everything about the photo haunts you.

The unfamiliar woman in his lap, his arms around her waist.

Her hands tangled in his hair, and their lips plastered to one another.

For a whole year, you wanted nothing more than to hold his hand in front of everyone.

To at least show that he was yours, just as you were his.

Yet, not even a week after your argument, he had someone else in his arms.

Meanwhile, you continue to struggle picking up the pieces of your heart that fall apart just about every day.

It was unfair.

It was cruel.

It made all of your experiences with Taehyung feel like a sham. A complete fraud.

And again, you think of all the possible reasons why you weren’t good enough.

Why, when he claims the feelings to be there, could he not give you his all?

A knock on the door disrupts your existential crisis.

“Uh, hey! It’s me. Can I come in?” Jimin’s small voice reaches you from the door.

“Um, yeah.” You say, wiping away the tears you collected from your own self pity.

The door clicks open, and Jimin comes in to sit beside you on the bed.

“I just wanted to come in and check on you myself.” He says, rubbing his hands on his sweatpants.

You kept your eyes on your phone lying in your limp hands.

Through this time on your own, you have tried time and time again to figure out and organize your feelings. It wasn’t until this very moment that they all dawned on you.

Jimin scoots in closer so you can rest your head on his shoulder.

Allowing you a judgment free space to feel exactly what you needed to feel.

Your small cries progress into a full sob.

You were upset at the argument. Upset that the relationship you invested most of your life in was merely a question with no answers.

You were hurt that after being so clear from the start, he still didn’t see it.

He didn’t see you.

Hurt by his abandonment.

Angry at his betrayal, and even angrier that you could hardly even call it betrayal anyways.

Hurt, angry and full of despair.

“I hate him, Chim. I fucking hate him.” You sob.

Jimin wraps an arm around your shoulder and pulls you closer, caging you into his side.

“That’s okay. You are allowed to feel that.” He reassures you.

Your heart constricts with each gasp you make. The pain is far too intense for you to feel anything else.

“But I hate that I can’t hate him at all.” You confess.

“I love him so much, Jimin. I don’t know how to live without him.” You say.

Jimin just provides comfort as he sees fit, letting you fully feel your emotions.

“Why is he doing this to me?” You ask, knowing well that Jimin has no answer.

Jimin is still searching for answers himself.

He knew that you had feelings for Taehyung, after overhearing bits and pieces from your sister of course.

Taehyung was secretive about his personal relationships; especially after his ex, but Jimin knew he felt some kind of way about you too.

It started with the first party that Taehyung made a scene at.

Then, Taehyung began to disappear after social events.

Alone.

Suddenly, Taehyung would only show up to events if you were also going.

So, contrary to your beliefs, your secret relationship with Taehyung wasn’t so secret after all.

Jimin just didn’t have any idea of how intense your feelings were.

“I can’t speak on his behalf, but as an outsider looking in…” He began. “A person who does nothing but send you mixed signals probably doesn't deserve you.”

Though you listened, you didn’t want to hear that. You didn’t want to admit that Taehyung didn’t deserve you.

A part of you wants to believe that this was all a misunderstanding and that he will come knocking on your window again like he always has.

“From the beginning, I was the one who initiated.” You say, piecing together the important pieces of your story before telling him more.

“Taehyung was clear from the start that he wasn’t ready for a relationship. He told me he didn’t want to commit yet.” You continued. “After talking about our situation… I just went with the flow and waited for him to be ready.”

Jimin kept quiet, listening to your story.

“For a whole year, we were practically together. The only thing that didn’t make it official was the title.” Your typical anxiety ticks kick in in the form of cuticle picking.

“For a while now, I thought to myself. Why doesn’t he want to be official then? Was he embarrassed by me?” You questioned.

Jimin rubs small circles on your shoulder the second he recognizes he waver in your voice.

“Or maybe I was never good enough for him?” You finally conclude.

“I don’t think that is it at all.” Jimin rebuttals. “I can’t speak on Taehyung’s behavior, considering I knew nothing about all this. However, I don’t think that you are not good enough. If anything, he is the one who isn’t good enough.”

“Taehyung is also an absolute idiot.” He says. “I know everything probably feels like it's crashing on you. Just take the time you need. The right answer will always find you.”

“I don’t know dude.” Taehyung sighs into his phone and picks up a bottle from his table.

Empty bottles of liquor cover the floor of his small studio apartment, representing the emptiness of his own heart.

“What do you mean you don’t know? You had a whole year to know!” Jimin shouts at him through his car’s Bluetooth.

After seeing you broken down, it was hard for Jimin to not step in and knock some sense into Taehyung.

“If you don’t want them then tell them that. Be fucking honest.” Jimin says, hitting his steering wheel out of frustration. “But on the flip side, if you share the same feelings they do then fucking do something before someone else steps in. Because believe me when I say, there is definitely someone waiting to take your spot.”

“What are you talking about?” Taehyung sits up at the mention of ‘someone else’

“You better talk to them, Kim.”

The line dies out, leaving Taehyung in stupor.

Your relationship with Taehyung has never fallen apart due to you, and he recognizes that. All this time, it was his own insecurity that made him keep you at such a distance.

You were pure, and perfect. Too perfect. Everything about you made him lose his breath every time.

The way you gaze at the stars and ask him if he thought there was life out there.

The way you confidently strut around his apartment with a messy bun and just his t-shirt.

The way you were able to easily read his emotions better than he could ever read himself.

He didn’t deserve your love.

He knew that if he kept you far enough, you would see the kind of person he was. You would realize, and move on to someone better suited for you.

Even if that person was that annoying prick, Namjoon Kim, he would surrender his place in your life.

He just never realized how much of himself he would have to lose when he lost you.

He has tried to forget your touch.

He has tried to replace the hands that once held him with so much love.

However, he knew no one could ever replace you.

Not in his mind, and never in his heart.

Once again, he closes his eyes in attempt to forget his reality.

Note: Thank you again for your support! I know this is shorter this time, but I wanted to make room for all the drama within BS3!! I can’t wait to hear from you all! <3

TAGLIST: @Borahaeb1ch @wrecklesssly @sumzysworld @thoudailydeets @laylasbunbunny @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @blu3flame @astoriasx @cherrycheola @jeontier @angelarin @aritoocute @mlttb @mahbeanz

#bts #bts fic #bts taehyung #taehyung #bts v #fanfic #angst #jimin #bts jimin #break up #bts imagines #bts reactions #taehyung x reader #bestfriend au #angst fic #taehyung ff #kth

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yoongimain · 2 years

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yoongi ♡ 220824

translation: miiniyoongs, tteokminnie, btsinthemoment

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yoongimain · 2 years

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no one:

me:

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yoongimain · 2 years

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Need You To Be Sure | kth

You need all of the clarity that Taehyung won’t give you.

Pairing: Taehyung x Femme!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Romance.

Warnings: Vulgar language. Angst. Complicated boundaries. Complicated feelings. 420 blazing. ANGST.

Songs: What I Need - Haley Kiyoko, A Soulmate Who Wasn’t Meant To Be - Jess Benko

Words: 3,150

Taehyung - 1995

Femme Lead - 1998

Note: This is my attempt at a series, written as a gift for a dear friend of mine. Please let me know what you think in the comments as this is a new writing style for me and I would love the feedback! Writing style inspired by @kithtaehyung

Some italicized lines are the OC’s thoughts!

Date Posted: 8/3/2022

Taehyung is beautiful. He is especially beautiful when you wake up first, and get to see the sunlight peek through the curtains and onto his face. His gentle breathing makes your heart flutter, and you can’t help but wonder if he also feels that way when he sees you.

You snuggle into his chest more, allowing him to fully embrace you in his slumber.

Taehyung and yourself have been close friends since your youth. You were both geeky kids in middle school, and even then a part of you always knew that you would end up recklessly in love with him. His goofy, childish charms were enough for anyone to.

He grunted out a tired “Good morning, little bear.” and pressed a lazy kiss to the top of your head. His hands rubs your shoulder in an attempt to put you back to sleep. You smiled and wiggled your way up to his face again, kissing his lips to do the opposite.

“Good morning sleepy head.”

He smiled rolling you over and smothering your face with kisses, sending you into a fit of giggles. Nothing made your heart feel as full as these little moments with Taehyung.

“We need to leave for class soon.” You pushed him to sit up and shook his arms around until his eyes were completely open.

His eyes turned to crescents when he finally processed the very naked you covered in all of his marks before him.

“Let's go take a quick shower then.” He wiggles his eyebrows and pulls you off of the bed along him and to the bathroom to start the day his way.

---

“What time are you out today?” He asks from next to you on the bus. He kept his attention on his phone, scrolling endlessly on Instagram.

“I’m out of here by four. You?” You say, scrolling through the private Spotify playlist he made for you.

“Around five.” He answers, cutting your conversation short as you approach campus. He tugged on the string to alert the driver of his stop.

“Happy Summer!” He simply smiles at you and gets off of the bus, heading straight to his lecture hall.

Taehyung is beautiful, but it was moments like this that make you realize how unattainable he is. Things were complicated between the two of you. You were always clear on how you felt about Taehyung, but you could not move forward alone. Instead, you both keep dancing around in this state of uncertainty.

Taehyung was always there for you when you needed him most. Since your childhood, he was the one that you spent your time with. Telling each other secrets and holding each other when times get rough. Your friendship was just too precious to lose over stupid feelings.

Instead of making your feelings clear, you betray yourself by keeping your feelings hidden, watching him through each partner that did not deserve him. Relationships that turned him to his hoe phase. Each party you went to together always ended with him leaving with someone else.

And tired of it all, you tried hooking up with someone too.

It could have been the liquid courage that night, or the fact that Taehyung was already making out with some person you have never seen before in the corner of the room. You could never know what brought you to angrily smash your lips against the nerdy upperclassmen Namjoon Kim, but you did.

Your little show did not last for long, as Taehyung came over and told Namjoon to get the fuck off of you and took you home.

The only thing you heard the entire ride back was how disappointed he was and all his constant nagging. He was burning your ears off and you just simply had enough.

“Guys like him are just trying to get in your pants.” He said, angrily gripping the steering wheel as he drove.

“Oh! So you can get into anyone’s pants and it's totally fine, but if anyone else wants to get some it is a crime?” You finally spoke, now parked outside of his house.

“What are you on about? This isn’t about me. This is about that koala looking asshole putting his hands on my little bear!” He argued, turning to you to make his point clear.

You did not shy away and looked him straight in the eyes, your tears threatening to spill.

“Of course it isn’t! And stop calling me that I’m not a fucking child anymore Taehyung!”

All the anger left his face as he watched you in your vexation.

“H-hey…” He started. He reached for you, but you quickly turned away.

“You know what? I am over this shit.” You pushed the door open and slammed it after you.

You thought you were ready to move on from Taehyung that night. You were once so sure that staying beside him would be enough. You thought that waiting for him to finally see you was enough.

However, you knew, you would never be enough. You would always just be his best friend. You would always just be his little bear.

With a heavy heart, you picked up your feet with whatever dignity you had left and trudged in the direction of your home. All of the complications you have tried to avoid have brought you there.

“Hey, wait a second!” He called out from behind you.

You knew that any confrontation from either of you would just change the dynamic of the friendship, and you just couldn’t deal with that right now.

Don’t stop. Do not stop. You tell yourself. You picked up the pace and began to run. Your adrenaline pumping your alcohol struck blood through your veins.

He continued to scream your name and chase you down the avenue. Once he caught up, he pulled you by the arm and made you turn to him.

“What has gotten into you? What is all of this about?” He brought his hands up to your face to match your eye level. Something that always made your heart skip a million beats, and maybe was too intimate for the middle of the suburban street.

What was the point in hiding it anyways? No matter what happens, our relationship will never be the same from this point.

His eyes searched yours for any answers to the problem at hand. Internally your heart burned with what you have wanted to do for decades.

You reached for his face, a million thoughts racing in your mind. Your eyes drift from his eyes, to his lips.

Just do it!

You pulled him to your level, pressing a firm kiss against his lips. All of the anxiety, hostility and resentment you felt dissipated.

Your mind was empty. Once he returned the kiss full on, your heart was full.

He had wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you in closer. A kiss that was worth a million words to you, and certainly too intimate for the suburban streets.

You both had talked in his room that night. Mostly of your feelings and how long you have had them for.

You both set boundaries. You didn’t want him to sleep around anymore, and he wasn’t ready to fully commit to any relationships. In all other words, it was complicated.

Hence why you are now here, feeling like a super secret sneaky link almost a year later.

---

“Aha! Alright, truth or dare?” Jimin drunkenly asks.

Most of the mutual friends are gathered at Jimin’s house for a start-of-summer party. Half of the freshmen in attendance are already blacked out in their own corners. Designated drivers are all stressed out and babysitting their half conscious friends.

You just stared at the bottle that was pointed to you, not knowing what to choose. You glance up to Taehyung who was leaning against the wall with a cup in his hand. His white shirt was tucked into a pair of green corduroys.

God- my favorite color.

And they look amazing on him.

“Tick tock!” Jimin slurred, bringing your attention back to the matter at hand.

“Uh, truth?” You respond, still thinking about how delicious Taehyung’s arms looked in that t-shirt.

“I hope you don’t think you are playing it safe.” Jimin thought aloud. “Is there anyone you would sleep with in this room?”

Taehyung’s ears perked up, but he kept a nonchalant look on his face. Everyone in the circle was silent, anticipating your answer.

“Yes.” You smiled. Of course no one actually knew how active you were considering Taehyung’s reluctance to say so.

Your hand reaches for the bottle and gives it a spin. Everyone watching the glass slow down to a stop right in front of Namjoon, who is sitting beside you.

Taehyung straightens up in form, still uncomfortable with the fact that Namjoon and I had kissed before.

“Truth or dare?” You asked. You watch Namjoon smile confidently, asking for a good dare.

“See! Not everyone is as boring as you are!” Jimin laughs out loud. I ignored the comment though, and gave a task for the nerdy tree.

“Kiss the most attractive person in the room.” I say, gesturing to everyone in the room. He shrugged his shoulders and took a big gulp of his drink.

Namjoon pulled me from the floor, onto his lap.

“You asked for it.” He says, putting a hand at the base of your neck to pull your lips to his.

Before my mind can even process the situation I am in, I am pulled away by a raging Taehyung.

Taehyung who, in all his anger, pulled you straight to your feet. He tugs you behind his back as asks Namjoon what he thinks he is doing.

Namjoon pushed his tongue on his cheek and stood up, facing the cockblock second time offender.

“I believe we were playing the game, Taehyung.” He says, crossing his arms in defense.

“You are outside of your fucking mind Namjoon. I thought I already warned you not to mess with them.” He says, referring to the toss up they had a few days after that party a year ago. A toss up that was making a comeback at this event, now.

“That's funny because I don’t recall them being in a relationship?” The taller opponent backs.

“You said to never touch your person ever again, and yet they aren’t even yours. Now, how does that work?”

Taehyung could not hold his anger any longer, and took a swing at Namjoon. Namjoon falls back which causes a domino effect of everyone rushing to his aid while others hold Taehyung back from jumping him any further.

“Don’t make me repeat myself again Namjoon! Or you are fucking dead!” He screams as Jimin and another mutual friend Jungkook pulls him out of the house.

You quickly gather your belongings and run outside to a seething Taehyung. Jungkook and Jimin tried to calm him down, with little to no success.

The pair had firm hands on his shoulders, talking to him almost at a whisper.

“Taehyung?” You finally speak, taking the attention from the trio.

Your secret partner pushes through the other two, and takes you by the wrist.

“Don’t bring that asshole around me again.” He says while passing Jimin. He walked you to his car that is parked about two blocks down. His pace leaves the soles of your feet burning against the rocky pavement.

“Taehyung.” You call out to him, with no response. Instead, he keeps his steady pace and rushes to his car that is now in vision.

“Taehyung!” You scream. You pull your wrist back and root to one place, forcing Taehyung to turn to you.

“What?! You want to go back in there and fuck that bastard in front of everyone, too?!” He shouts in anger. He ruffled his hair in frustration.

“You know what? I’m over this shit.” He turns from you to walk away before you could throw a punch in, but you're faster than that.

He knows better.

“Over what? Huh?” You stomp after him, momentarily forgetting the stinging at the bottom of your feet.

“Whatever this fucking is!” He finally turns to you, gesturing to the space between the two of you. Through his eyes it was hard to understand what this would all mean for you both in the end.

Was there really any use in holding on, if he was never in your hold in the first place?

“So you refuse to be in a relationship with me, but you want me to treat you as if we are?” You ask him.

“You know how I feel about you.” He tries to defend himself.

How dare he use your weakness against you. Just as he did before, expecting you to bend to his needs again. Only each time this happened, your needs were left for another discussion.

“Do I though? Because it just seems like you only see me anymore for a quick fuck when its convenient for you!” You burst, finally breaking into tears. “Which one of us is actually over this?”

“Then what the hell else do you want from me bear?!” He shouts. “Stop using your fucking tears on me!”

You could only scoff at his words, flipping this around and victimizing himself.

“I need more Tae. More!” You frustratingly wipe your tears from your eyes. “More than just sex, more than just fucking participation.”

He gnawed on his bottom lip, unsure of what else to say to you. He sighs and stuffs a hand into his pocket.

“Can we just talk about this at home?” He asks. Avoiding the topic, which is ultimately invalidating to your feelings that you just let out on him.

It is hard to think that he would be this dismissive of you, considering how much you have both been through. When was it that he had changed?

“What, for you to keep us a secret even more? No!” You state, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“Do you want to be with me, or not?” You ask, scanning his face for any answers you could possibly find.

You hate that you know him so well. You hate that his confused eyes are far easier to read than any book. You hate the gut feeling within you that says you need to just let this man go once and for all. And even more…

“I don’t know, bear.” He says.

…You hate that he is telling the truth.

He doesn’t know what he wants with you.

Were you his best friend? Were you his partner? A casual fling that was never meant to happen?

“Then, I think I should go.” You tell him in a whisper.

You pulled your arms away and gave a short “Good bye.” as severance.

You turn your back and walk back to the house. Your vision on your bright phone screen is blurring out by your tears.

Each step you took shattered your heart a little more.

Though you know this fight would come sooner or later, you still wished you had a little more time to push it off.

A little more time as his little bear.

“Hey, you need to get up at some point.” Your sister knocks on your door.

Cursed be rooming with your sibling.

It has been three days since the summer party fiasco.

Seventy-two hours since you lost your best friend.

You stayed in your bed for most of the time. Sleeping your pain away and reliving your decision each time you open your eyes.

You knew that you would need to leave this deal with Taehyung at some point in time, but there was nothing that would ever prepare you for it.

You roll over and tap on the screen of your cell phone. Messages flood your phone from friends who witnessed the fight. Jimin, wondering if you were okay. Jungkook, messaging you for Jimin. Namjoon, apologizing for causing conflict between you and Taehyung.

Taehyung?

Nothing.

Not a text.

Not a call.

Radio silence that draws new tears from your previously soaked eyes.

You finally bring your feet to the floor and carry your weight off of the bed. Your sister is still knocking on the door, refusing to leave until you unlock the door.

“I’m coming.” You croak out, unlocking the bedroom door.

“Alright. I want you to take a shower, come out and eat, and then we will watch a movie.” She ordered.

“Even if you just stand under the water, please take a good twenty minute shower. I am going to cook your favorite, okay?” She asks, turning you around to the bathroom in your bedroom.

“Okay. Thank you.” You gave her a quick hug before closing the bathroom door.

“I think it's pretty funny that they even kept him on this show after all of that controversy.” Your sister refers to a character in the romcom you both watch.

You nod in response, but your mind is still lingering on Taehyung.

You want to know where he has been.

Just as much as you want to know why he hasn’t sent a single message.

“Hey, what is on your mind?” Your sister scoots closer to you, pausing the show.

“I just want to know where he is, you know? Like, what he is thinking.” You fiddled with your phone in your lap. Your eyes start to water again, and you shrink back into the couch.

“Well from what I understand of Taehyung, seeing as you both grew up together, He is very dense.” She says, lighting a blunt to mellow the mood.

“He is so dense that he might just need some time to himself to really think about everything you have said.” She reassures, and continues to tell you Taehyung might contact you soon enough.

The only thing your sister doesn’t understand is that he has had over a year to think about it all.

Over a year to know if he wanted you or not.

Over a year of experiencing your love.

But he is still confused.

You simply could not give anymore of yourself to him until he knows for certain what relationship you both have.

She passes you the blunt, and you take a slow drag. Keeping the smoke inhaled for as long as you could before releasing.

“Or you can just take the time you need and hang out with friends instead of waiting for his dumbass to call.”

You chuckle and hand the blunt back over to her.

“Yeah, I guess you are right.” You unlock your phone and check your notifications. Messages from various mutual friends flood your phone, but one specifically catches your eyes.

Jimin: “Attachment.img”

Jimin: I thought you deserve to know.

You open your messages with Jimin and find a photo that makes your heart contort.

Everything around you just… stops.

Note: Thank you for taking the time to read this. Like I mentioned before, please drop a comment below and let me know what you thought!

#bts #bts fic #bts imagines #bts reactions #taehyung #fluff #angst #bts fanfic #taehyung x reader #bts v

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yoongimain · 2 years

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yoongimain · 2 years

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Ghosted - MYGxOC - One Shot

Summary: I moved on. I truly believed that I did. It really is cursed that we have the same friend group

Pairing: Yoongi x F!Reader | Mentions of other BTS members

Genre: Angst, Heart break, Growth.

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Profanity, Alcohol, Cigarettes (it’s no good for you don’t do it pls), Driving under the influence (please don’t be a murderer), Namjoon DRIVING (please idk it was too late)

Words: 3,795

Yoongi - 1993

Ji Sora - 1994

Yoongi had a tough time opening up to people, but he told me everything. He opened up about his family, his heartbreaks and trauma. He was always a vulnerable, open book with me. I could always feel like myself around him, without any restriction.

We stuck with each other through everything. I held him when he cried, and he would lay beside me when I needed him, too. It could have been the comfort he gave, or the fact that I was a raging empath. All I knew was that I fell helplessly and recklessly in love with him.

I cared about him so much, but in the end we were just friends.

Of course, there was always an opportunity for me to finally tell him how I felt. How going to the market with him felt like we were an old couple, especially when we fought over which toilet paper to buy. How waking up on his chest and listening to his soft snores felt like paradise. Or even how anywhere feels like home with his arms around me.

Even in all these opportune moments, I never mentioned a thing. Yoongi’s commitment issues applied to everyone and anyone.

If he felt confused about a relationship: Ghosted.

If someone had feelings for him: Ghosted.

If someone makes him feel awkward or embarrassed: Ghosted.

There was even a few months where he completely ignored Hoseok after he threw up in the latter’s bed after a bar crawl.

I guess I always knew deep down that one day, it would then apply to me.

It was unexpected when it happened, though. It was just one canceled plan after another, then ignoring my texts a few days at a time. He even stopped picking up calls after a while.

Hey… I’m not sure if you just need more time or how I can help, but please let me know if I did something wrong. I miss you.

To my dismay, there was still a dense silence on the other end.

Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, months now a year. Now I lay on my couch at- what is it? Ten something at night? Scrolling through our year-old messages hoping to find an answer to his new behavior toward me, since it was the only thing left after he had blocked me on everything else.

A knock on my door had pulled me from my thoughts and I dragged myself along to open it.

“Afternoon, sunshine!” At the door stood Namjoon, with a few cans of beer in a plastic bag.

“Hey, what brings you here?” I asked, stepping aside for him to come through the door.

“I’m here to pregame with you, and take you to Jin’s grad party with me.” He says, handing me the bag and clumsily taking his shoes off.

Namjoon has been coming over these last couple of days to see me, and distract me from the self torment I have been putting myself through over the loss of my best friend.

“I told you I wasn’t going to go, big head.” I say, shutting the door and making my way back to the couch.

I slumped onto the couch, lying face down. I could hear Namjoon’s shuffling as he followed me and plopped himself onto the floor beside me.

“I won’t have any fun without you, Sora. Besides, what else are you going to be doing here? Crying over him again?” He said, finally cracking open a can of brew.

I rolled my eyes and turned to him with a huff. “This isn’t about him, Joon. I’m just too tired to go out okay?”

“Oh, so you weren’t on your phone reading the same messages from forever ago and wallowing in self pity before I got here?” He snickered at my silence. “Cat’s got your tongue?”

I punched his shoulder and reached my hand out for him to pass me a beer. I sat up and cracked the cool can for myself, taking a long swig.

“He never really said if he was coming or not. But either way, Jin would really like for you to be there.” He said, turning his whole body to me.

It was difficult to wrap myself around the situation. Why it was that Yoongi was ignoring me, and yet all at the same time he was still keeping in touch with our friends all the same.

“It’s fine. I am over it. Really.” I lied, taking another sip of the cold beer.

“Good, then go to your room and get dressed. We leave after these are finished.” He pointed to the four cans of beer left in the bag.

“He never mentioned anything about it. When your name is brought up, he would just walk away. We don’t even know.” Namjoon reassures me after my question about Yoongi.

“It’s too confusing for me to even think about anymore.” I said, finishing off the last of my beer while Namjoon drove us to the usual club we go to. I pulled the passenger mirror down and fixed my cleavage in my royal blue bodysuit.

Confusing is definitely one way to put the situation between Yoongi and I. At this point down the line, I don’t know what else I could have done differently.

I always took off of work to go out and support his gigs. I always planned his birthdays, and made room for him in every single aspect of my life. Now, there is just this empty part of my life that has been missing.

“What if he is there?” Namjoon asked, his eyes locked on the road before him.

“Hello? Did you not hear what I just said?” I asked, picking at the fishnets under my ripped denim high-waisted shorts.

The thought of Yoongi being there is enough to make my stomach ache, as it is exactly what I was afraid of. I know how confrontational I will be if I see Yoongi. To be honest, not only was I hurt, I was angry.

“I don’t know.” I replied. “There is a fifty-fifty chance I will tell him to fuck himself, or I will actually be over it and drink to utter belligerence.”

That actually sounds really nice.

“Well I hope it’s the second one.” He laughs, pulling into the parking garage. “Not to say he doesn’t deserve the other option, though.

---

“Sora! Joonie! You made it!” Jin flashes his bright smile and pulls me in for a hug the second I walked into the VIP room.

Jin and Namjoon’s parents invest in this club, so we always receive top priority when we come.

“I had to come for you, are you kidding?” The rest of the boys are already here, laughing and drinking in their natural state. Jimin was cracking up on the couch as Jungkook and Taehyung drunkenly danced around.

My entire body stills at the sight of one person. The one I have been longing to see for months, and the same person deliberately ignoring my existence.

He wore the black jacket that I got for his birthday two years ago. His hair was now a bright orange and a little longer than what it was. He looked brighter in many ways, but what really stole my attention was the person right under his arm.

She leaned on him like it was somewhere she belonged. He held her by her shoulder, smiling at whatever it was she just whispered in his ear.

I’ve never seen her before, but everything about her was perfect. The way she laughed, how her hand fit right into his.

Everything.

“Well get in here you two! We’ve got open bar tonight!” Jin tugged me along, my eyes never leaving Yoongi once.

“Guys, look who we have here!” Jin announced with his arm around my shoulder.

“Sora!” Jungkook and Taehyung put their dancing on pause to greet me, and Jimin poured two shot glasses for Namjoon and I.

Taehyung wrapped his arms around me and swayed me back and forth.

“Sora! It's been so long, and you look amazing!” He squeezed me in his arms and we nearly fell to the floor.

“Thank you Tae!” I held him by his arms to stand him upright again. He dipped down and kissed my cheek.

My eyes go back to Yoongi, who was now drinking his usual Old Fashioned. The girl leaning on his shoulder was staring at me now with a smile on her face. I smiled back and Namjoon had pulled me along with him to the opposite side of the couch.

I didn’t know what hurt more. The fact that Yoongi was still ignoring me, the girl on his arm, or the fact that she doesn’t know what he and I have been through.

We are now sitting directly across from Yoongi and his friend. My heart clenched as he smiled at her and brushed her fringe from her face.

I crossed one leg over another and Namjoon had placed an arm over my shoulder. He gave me a reassuring smile, silently lending me his support.

Yoongi watched silently, his fingers gripping tightly onto his glass now.

“Alright you two!” Jimin slurred his words. “You have got some catching up to do.” He sloppily passed us the two shot glasses he prepared before and held his own up after. We quickly took the shot and I watched as Namjoon’s face twisted at the taste of the bitter liquid.

“Another one!” Jungkook shouts, coming over to pour another shot into our glasses.

“Namjoon is driving, I’ll drink for him.” I say, picking up the glass from the table and throwing it back. The second shot was significantly worse than the first.

“Ooh, what is going on here?” Jin asked in a joking manner, nudging Namjoon on the arm.

“Nothing man.” Namjoon responds as he pours me a glass of soda. His comment made Yoongi scoff.

Our eyes met for just a quick second before he turned his attention back to the girl who was fiddling with his rings now.

“Whatever you say- Hey let's go dance!” Jin says, quickly changing the subject.

“Yes! Let’s go, Sora!” Jungkook says, reaching for my hand that was resting freely on Namjoon’s thigh.

I quickly threw back the third shot and chased it with the soda before following the youngest to the dance floor.

There were far too many thoughts racing through my mind now. Too many memories that I thought I have forgotten, suddenly front and center.

But we are over it now, Sora.

The rest of the boys followed shortly after and began to take over the dance floor. Jungkook stayed close to me, wrapping one arm around my waist and holding me close as we swayed to the rhythm.

Girls flocking Jimin and Tae the second they step foot onto the dance floor, Jin and Namjoon were awkwardly swaying to the music together.

I half expected Yoongi to be at the party, and I really thought I would be more prepared to see him considering it has already been a year since it all happened. However, now I feel like I’ve been thrown through a whirlwind of emotions.

The music has switched up to more upbeat songs. The boys cheered and I tried to keep up, but I kept falling behind. My mind was too occupied with thoughts of Yoongi, holding on to someone else.

How did they meet? What did she say to make him change his mind and commit to someone?

If I said it first, would things be different?

I pulled Jungkook’s arm off of me and smiled at him. I pointed over to Jimin and Tae who were still occupying the dance floor. He nodded in understanding and pulled away to our friends who needed some help with the amount of girls circling around them.

I stepped away from the lit floor and sweaty bodies to take a seat at the bar. As busy as the bar was, the bartenders always seemed to keep their cool.

“Hey Sora! What can I get for you?” The bartender asked. It is always funny how the bartenders can recognize me, and I could never register any of their names to memory.

“Hey, can you just give me a bottle of whatever?” I asked, exhausted with the events of the night already.

“Yeah, dark or light?” He asked, setting a chilled glass in front of me.

“Dark. Matter of fact, just give me one of Yoongi’s bottles.” I rested my chin on my hand and pointed to the various top-shelf whisky bottles.

“You got it!” He turned and reached for the bottle and slid it over my way. “I’ll tab it to the room, feel free to take it with you.” He winked and turned to the next customer, taking another order.

I poured myself a glass of the brown liquid. As the liquid filled the glass, I watched the ice crack at the contact. I set the glass down and drink the dark liquid slowly. The bitter taste leaves my tongue numb.

“You fucking suck at drinking.” Yoongi handed me a can of coke to wash down the whiskey that I stole a drink of.

“No, Yoongi, I enjoy drinking things that don’t taste like they came from sewage.” I chugged the can of soda to relieve myself of the painful burn.

“I already told you, you didn’t need to drink this with me.” He said, leaning back with his arm on the back of the couch.

I leaned into his side and took the glass from his hands again, not paying any attention to the horror movie playing on the screen.

“What kind of friend would I be if I let you drink by yourself?” I asked, forcing another gulp of the strong liquor.

“Besides-” I start before washing the devilish drink down. “I’m sure the taste will go away soon.”

He chuckled and pulled me in closer to continue watching the movie that I have long forgotten.

After all this time, I have finally learned to enjoy the crisp feeling of whiskey. The taste was numbing, and all other pain I felt subsided alongside the stringing at the back of my throat. I understand now why it was his favorite.

My arms began to feel lighter, my face was warmer now too. As much as I would like to lose my focus, the only thing on my mind now is Yoongi.

Only the bittersweet memories are left in my mind. His silent laughter that shook through his shoulders. The cute scrunches of his nose when he felt shy. The fiery passion in his eyes when he performed on stage.

The recognition of him, happily with someone else, hits me far too hard for me to be okay.

For once I just want to stop lying to myself. Stop lying to my friends and pretending that I am fine.

I downed the entire glass and poured another. The burn of the whiskey brought tears to my eyes.

“So, why are you not up in the room?” The bartender asked as he wiped down his work space.

“The boys came down to dance for a moment.” I answered, downing another glass. ”Say, I have a question.” I asked, wiping my lips off.

“Shoot.” He said, leaning onto the bar to hear me better.

“What would you do if someone drops you, and you don’t hear from them for say- a year? And you see them again?” I asked, slightly slurring my words now.

The bartender pours me another glass of whiskey and sets it down before answering.

“I guess that depends on what I want from them.” He responds, watching me throw back another glass.

“I just want answers. Why I was ghosted and blocked out of nowhere, and why he- why he acts like- like-” I sighed and slammed the glass back onto the bar top.

He smiled and poured me another glass, also handing me a glass of water as a reminder to slow down.

“Well- I guess one thing I would want to do is remind myself that the people in my life have chosen me.” He sighed and watched my reaction closely, making sure he wasn't saying the wrong thing. “And if they don’t, then that is all the closure I would ever need.”

I closed my eyes and felt how his words pierce right through my soul.

Yoongi didn’t choose me.

He did not choose me.

“Thank you for your honesty.” I sighed and took a quick sip of the water he put in front of me.

“Hey, no problem.”

A deep sigh rips through my chest, and I pick up the bottle. I picked up the bottle and pressed the rim to my lips, dragging the whiskey down in gulps. I wanted to take the ache away, the feeling of being unwanted that has haunted me for the last year.

Sliding off of the bar stool, I stood still to settle myself back on my feet. I trusted my feet to take me where I needed to be.

I held onto the wall and walked back up to the VIP section, passing the door to our private room and out to the patio. The world spinned, faces were no longer recognizable. My knees buckled as I approached the patio door, bottle in hand.

After pulling the door open, the crisp summer wind blows right into my face, further blurring my vision. The only thing I can see is a lone person, standing near the railing that watches over the starry night sky.

“Are you okay?” The person asked, slightly muffled and holding a cigarette in his lips.

“No, I am not okay.” I say honestly. “The person I’ve wanted to see for so long is here, but he is with someone.”

I hear him take a deep breath, and with an almost recognizable voice he beckons me to come near. I took staggered steps, almost giving out before I leaned onto the railing as well.

“I’m sorry stranger- I don’t mean to put that on to you so suddenly.” I wiped my eyes and brought the bottle back up to my lips.

“What are you drinking thats got you all fucked?” He asked before taking another drag of his burning cigarette.

“Whiskey. I used to hate this stuff.” I said, holding it up to my lips again for another slip.

“Why did you start drinking it?” He asked.

I brought my attention up to the moon and stared for a minute.

“It feels good. The stinging pain, and the numbness that comes afterward.” I say, holding up the bottle to the moonlight. “It was a remedy to help me forget everything.�� I took another swig of the dark liquor, completely losing count of how much of this I have had by now.

“It isn’t working tonight though.” I slurred, fully resting my weight on the rail now.

“On the contrary, I think you’ve had too much.” The man says. He pulled off his jacket and wrapped it over my shoulder.

“Thanks.” I whispered.

He asked me if I was going back inside yet, but I declined.

“Yoongi is in there, and I don’t think I can take much more of seeing the man I love with someone else.” I huffed. “I also don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable.”

He just mumbled a quick “Okay.” and went back inside.

I crouched and took a seat right beneath the railing, firmly pressing my back into the glass. I finished off the bottle of whiskey and smiled in triumph.

You aren’t the only one that has changed, Yoongi.

I leaned my head back and watched the stars shine over the sky. The stars all blurred into the night sky, leaving small shimmers along the world.

“Hey!” A low voice booms through the patio from the door. I look over to a tall figure coming toward me.

The person comes over and sticks their hand out to me. With focus, I can make out Namjoon’s concerned face as he waits for me.

I can feel my face burn as my eyes glaze over. I looked down and let my tears fall freely.

“I’m sorry Joon.” I whispered.

He sighed and pulled me up by my arm, allowing me to rest my head on his hard chest.

“It’s okay. You’re okay.” He says while wrapping his arms around me, swaying me along with the breeze to soothe my shaking form.

“Yeah.” I sniffled, completely spent and drunk. I wrapped my arms around his waist, fingers still clad around the neck of the bottle. “The bartender said that Yoongi didn’t choose me.”

“Do you still want to talk to him?” Namjoon asked with a soothing voice.

My memories with Yoongi come through my mind. All the good, and all the bad. Memories that kept me sane for so long. Also memories that are no longer ours to make.

So the question really did shake me. Did I want to talk to him?

At the bottom of my heart I know I do. I deserve an explanation for his actions. However, things may just be better as beautiful memories instead of cruel memories.

“I- I don’t think so.” I whispered. “I don’t want to.”

“Okay, Well let's get going.” He moves back and crouches, allowing me to climb onto his back.

I put down the bottle of nearly finished whiskey and slipped my arms through the jacket that was draped over my shoulders. When I leaned onto Namjoon, he wrapped his arms under me to push me upward as he stood, slightly bouncing up to secure his hands under me.

“Namjoon?” I asked, leaning my head against his shoulder blade.

“Hmm?” He said, gradually walking toward the door leading back to the VIP section.

“Thank you.” I said, drifting off into tiresome slumber.

His words of response were too far away now as my breath mellows.

“Namjoon! Where are you going?”

Namjoon briefly turned around, trying his best to not drop you as he maneuvered through the club hallway.

“Oh, Hey. Just going to take Sora home.” Namjoon responded to Jin who has finally rallied up the bro’s

Yoongi had his arm around the girl, yet his attention never once left your sleeping form. Your words on the patio are still fresh in his mind.

“Anyways- I’ll catch y'all later.” Namjoon says, readjusting you on his back.

“And Yoongi-” He says on his way out. “I don’t know what you said to her out there, but you know what she deserves.”

The older man just clenched his jaw and turned his attention back to his partner, who sported a confused look as Namjoon finally left.

#bts #btsfic #angst #yoongi #min yoongi #suga #bts suga #namjoon #oneshot