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Ten years ago, I found a lamp.

It was a simple thing. No etchings, no jewels, just a small little brass lamp sitting at the back of a dusty antiques shop. Some deep, wordless curiosity tickled my mind and kept me fixated on it for a solid three minutes before I finally decided to purchase it.

Imagine my surprise when, after giving the thing a proper cleaning with a rag, a genie appeared before me. In that moment I believed I understood where that curiosity came from. This being, wrapped in silks and smoke, must have called to me.

And what a being they were. A smooth voice paired well with a charming smile to fixate me in a heartbeat. Beautiful felt like an understatement—ethereal came to mind. That was as far as my thoughts went before this being began to theatrically explain the deal of the lamp:

"You get three wishes, but there are rules. Rule number one," they began, raising a finger, "you can't wish for immortality. At best I can promise is that you'll live as long as I do, and frankly, I don't know how long a genie lives. I could die immediately upon granting your wishes. Something something magical rebirth to reset the magic after three if someone new doesn't call upon me first. Never did get the chance to ask my creator for clarification on that before they were run through. Anyway..."

The rest of the rules were straightforward enough after that. Upon completion of the spiel, the genie settled back into their smoke and fixed me with an expectant look. As I stared back, be it because a brief slip of the mask or my own intuition, I saw a glimpse of the soul. This being was stuck in the perpetual darkness of this lamp waiting to hear the heart's desires of another for centuries. I saw in that moment a loneliness reflected back at me that I recognized within myself.

I knew what my first wish would be, I declared, and stepped forward. The genie leaned in casually, arms crossed and awaiting my command. I hesitated at the closer proximity for a moment, swallowed, and then spoke my first wish.

The genie's eyebrow raised, very, very slowly.

"You're sure?" they asked. I nodded, and my wish was granted.

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"You know," my companion said around a mouthful of pizza, "when you made that first wish all those years ago, I worried you had some nefarious things in mind."

I glanced over from across the couch and raised a brow. They shrugged.

"No one has asked for my company before, let alone for ten years. And in the guise of a mortal at that. Can't complain when I get to enjoy this though." They then sighed contently around another bite of pizza.

I stared. It had only been a month, but my new roommate had settled in like this place had been their home for years already. They spent a millennia in a brass lamp—the object in question was tucked safely out of sight now—but now with the world truly at their disposal they wasted no time taking in all its "wonders", as they called them. The aged architecture of the corner of our building. The weeds fighting their way up through the cracks in the sidewalk on the way to the store. The taste of a slice of a frozen pizza brand. All these mundane things were a joy to behold for them, and witnessing those moments of joy were a joy for me too.

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"Halfway there."

I looked up from the opened cardboard box in front of me. They set down another one on the table, a little battered from the move but sturdy. Their eyes remained fixed on the box as they cut the tape to retrieve its contents.

"Five years as of today," they said, now glancing over at me. "Five more to go. I think it's gone pretty well so far myself. What do you think?"

I let the question sit for a moment. The space around me was warm and brimming with possibility. The contents of the box before me held memories of our journey so far. Some were sad, and some were angry, but without them the happy moments wouldn't feel as sweet upon reflection. Each wove a beautiful thread into our shared story as colorful as the silks my partner wore when we first met.

I wouldn't change a thing. I said so, and they smiled.

"Neither would I."

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The lamp sat on the table before both of us. Today was the ten year anniversary of the beginning of our journey. It felt surreal.

"I don't regret it," my love said, taking my hand. "In all the years I've existed in this world, none of them have ever been as precious to me as the ten I've shared with you. If you asked for ten more I wouldn't hesitate to grant them."

I squeezed their hand and smiled sadly. We had already talked about this countless times. This wish's boon was a temporary one, and another like it would be the same. I couldn't stomach the thought of forcing them to live alongside me as I aged, knowing that in the end they would return to their life of magical solitude once their mortal time was done.

So, for now, we simply decided to let the wish run its course. Their hand slipped from mine back to smoke as they returned to the lamp. I breathed in deep, and then reached out to rub it.

My genie appeared before me as they had ten years ago, ethereal in silks and smoke, and smiled a bittersweet smile down at me.

"You have two wishes left, but there are rules." They continued on into the first of their rules, but part way through I froze. They stopped, noticing, and waited. Hearing that first rule about immortality again brought back what they had said the first time. It was an offhand comment, a joke, but now I realized that it could be our solution.

I knew what my next wish would be. I took in a breath, and then spoke it forth: I wished to live as long as they did, however long that might be.

My genie stared down at me. There was no raised eyebrow this time, just a look of genuine surprise. "You're sure?"

I nodded.

"But...what if you decide to use your third wish? Or what if you lose the lamp and someone else calls on me?"

The answer to the first question would have been to simply never use the wish, but the second question gave me pause. I would have to be vigilant. There could be no mistake, because even a small one could mean the end of us both at the hands of another. I couldn't assume that would never happen, and that scared me more than anything. It was a risk neither of us could control.

But the third wish...that was something we could.

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My genie and I decided to postpone the second wish so we could talk it and the final wish over. We took three days, an irony neither of us missed at the end, to research and discuss and iron things out, and there were plenty of twists and turns through logic and emotion both. In the end, it came down to the simple fact that neither of us wanted to be parted.

My second wish would remain the same.

My third wish, in theory, would work. In theory.

I looked at my genie. They looked at me.

My wishes were granted.

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"I think this is my favorite iteration so far. Can we keep it this way for a while?"

I glance up from my book to see my genie inspecting a frankly gaudy looking little lamp now sitting on our living room table. It's covered in etchings and jewels, a far cry from the simple lamp I bought from that dusty antique shop all those years ago.

I raise an eyebrow, very, very slowly.

My genie sighs. "Fine. Come up with three more wishes then so we can see what it turns into next."

I roll my eyes and smile as I place my book on the couch next to me.

Ten years ago, I found a lamp. Since then, it has been reborn a number of times, and I have to admit, it's been fun to see what new form it takes after that three wish reset.

The best part? My genie and I have as long as we want to keep playing with it.

"Rule number one," said the genie, "you can't wish for immortality. At best I can promise is that you'll live as long as I do, and frankly, I don't know how long a genie lives. I could die immediately upon granting your wishes."

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more progress on bird toy...!

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“X bodily fluid is just filtered blood!” buddy I hate to break it to you but ALL of the fluids in your body are filtered blood. Your circulatory system is how water gets around your body. It all comes out of the blood (or lymph, which is just filtered blood).

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Au where Goncharov and Andrey survive everything, grow old together and sit on a street all day somewhere in the south of Europe

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today I used the phrase "breasting boobily" in casual real life conversation and everyone was shocked asking how I came up with that and I had to explain it. ive been at the devil's sacrament so long that I forgot he wasn't god

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Hells Bells or something like that

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therapist: cunt dracula is not real and cannot fuck you.

cunt dracula:

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No, Princess Zelda does not have "girl power".

Princess Zelda has girl wisdom.

Ganon has girl power.

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firefox is just such a standard browser for anyone remotely interested in computers that remembering basically every normal person uses google chrome feels like a kick in the head

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The Day the Earth Blew Up: A Looney Tunes Movie Director: Peter Browngardt | Studio: Warner Bros. | USA, 2025

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the legend of vox machina gifset per episode season 3 episode 5: the frigid doom

patreon

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It's been a long time since I made a cartoon for self-care Sunday! (I'm on a short break in between working on comic books, so I have a little more time to draw just for fun.) This idea originally came to me from A. J. Jacobs in his book "The Puzzler." Sometimes, my brain can feel so noisy at night when I try to sleep, ruminating on the past today or what's coming up tomorrow. I find this exercise so calming for my busy brain and sometimes fall asleep after just a few letters. (If you make it all the way through the alphabet, you could always start backwards and go again!) Let me know if you find it helpful!