zackeusscientifics - Tumblr blog

[zackeusscientifics]

normalize being a disgusting wretched mad scientist with no value for human life or morals but also youre gay

[zackeusscientifics]

My lab partner messed up again and now i have to clean the stairs! And I cannot ask him to do it because he doesn't know how to handle these chemicals and would most likely melt his hands off. I would fire him but the problem is I'm becoming too attach- I mean used to having him around.

[zackeusscientifics]

mad geologist concepts?

malicious sinkhole placement

radioactive rocks stored in lead boxes until you release them

tricking people into licking rocks that should not be licked

designing rube goldberg machines so you can use rocks to enact your evil schemes (destroying buildings, killing managers, robbing banks, etc)

big drill. let your imagination go wild.

straight up beating someone to death with one of your specimens

[zackeusscientifics]

where can i get this??

Cozy, Festive brain scan candle for the holidays

[zackeusscientifics]

hey besties friendly reminder to drink water, feed your lab rats, turn off your evil nuclear generator, change out of your dirty lab coat, go for a walk and take care of yourself <3

[zackeusscientifics]

Could someone please tell me? I'm a bit low on organic resources at the moment to find an answer myself.

[zackeusscientifics]

Greetings naive beings of slightly inferior intelligence.

I have not yet died of chemical poisoning, burns, corosive liquids, radioactive materials or explosive machines. I have only been taking a break from this strange little application due to being a busy man of science with lots of important manmade horrors to tend to.

I've also needed to feed my new goldfish, that I will not include in any experiments. Here is a photo where I managed to get all of them in frame, somewhat.

I'm thinking of naming four of them Theodore, Erlenmeyer, Bubbles and Destroyer of Worlds the II. I did not accidentally step on the first Destroyer of Worlds. Name suggestions for the other four are welcome.

[zackeusscientifics]

Remember to emotionally enrich your mad scientists today! Compliment their scheming aura and diabolical lab coat, inform them of the incomprehension of their glorious studies to your mind, and perhaps let them know how much cooler their evil-lightning-beam machine was than a local wizard's lightning spell.

Don't forget, a happy mad scientist today is one less terrified subject on a vivisection table tomorrow!

[zackeusscientifics]

i hate when that happens.

girl help my rock collection is slowly but surely pulling my molecular structure apart and unravelling my genetic code until it cannot be replicated anymore

[zackeusscientifics]

[zackeusscientifics]

The Gloweyed Cat Experiment, Report 3, 1/10/2022

(TW: WOUND)

Dear Tumblr, please excuse my absence. Catching the cats took longer than planned, and required an embarrassing amount of brainpower, to the point where I had to go as far as to escape my feline-infested lab for a few days to rest my mind and make plans in peace. I just couldn not think with those glowing eyes on me at all times. After 3 days of pondering my problems, I had at last formed a plan with a 95% success rate to catch the manic meowstrosities. And I did.

I developed a serum, pink in color and with a strong smell of instant noodles, that I hoped would make the little beasts fall asleep, even from just external contact with the liquid.

I sneaked into the lab carefully, as the little nightmares had become more feral to the point of attempting to attack me at times at the time I left them, and I did not know what I would come back to. With me I carried a large watergun full of the serum. It wasn't long before I heard a horrid scream echo through the corridors as one of the cats (if you could even call it that still) appeared from arount a corner. Then, another followed behind it. And yet another. And another.

It seemed like they had all sensed my presence and ganged up on me, a horrid sight of 16 pairs of glowing, green eyes coming towards me through the dark corridor before me. The cursed creatures had grown almost double in size, with longer legs and scrawny figures that showed the shape of ribs at the sides. They also seemed to be loosing their fur, revealing a body of dark green-ish skin and bones underneeth, and if the sight wasn't horrid enough already, their teeth had also grown slightly longer and green, glowing saliva was dripping between them. As I started shooting they all darted towards me, screaming like tortured souls. I managed to hit a few, who fell asleep in a pair of seconds, before I realized being this outnumbered I would have to take on a few at a time. I started running down the hall towards the main lab, only to have them catch up with me in a few seconds. It was horrid. Claws and teeth and empty, glowing eyes everywhere and a kind of foul smell I've never sensed before. Gaining scratches at an alarming rate, I managed to slowly but surely put more and more of them to sleep, until only one remained. This one however, already being large with a bad temper prior to injection, was the most difficult to take down. It took a big leap which pushed me to the ground, where for a split second i stared into my horrid subjects eyes, green saliva dripping in my face, before it were hit by a large dose of serum from my gun just as it made a swipe for my face with a lanky paw. The beast fell to the ground and I rose from the pile of sleeping cats around me, wiping green goo from my face. My clothes were torn and the deeper scratches did not look great. The blood emitting from them was slowly taking on a greenish tint.

I sighed and pulled out a small bottle and tissue from the pocket of my coat and cleaned the wounds with a solution I use for most infections where I don't immediately know how to treat them. It kills off a number of different common toxins and prevents any more severe consequences in most cases. The rest of the afternoon was spent quickly carrying one unconscious shell of a cat after another to an empty room in the basement where i locked them in with some food and water. I am aware I will have to study them closer eventually, but I was fairly exhausted after the madness of this past week and this experiment will therefore be put on hold while I work on more controllable projects until I know how to approach this. I think I may have developed a sudden allergy to cats.

Until next time my fellow masterminds, strive forward, do mad science and let your chaos bring order to the world.

End of report, signed Dr.Z Derengeius

[zackeusscientifics]

Highly enjoy these blinkies made by @crisisimo . Finally a worthy way to decorate my extra special posts.

Also found out how to write these blogposts from my computer! It is not outdated at all and has many handy modificatione made by my one and only self.

[zackeusscientifics]

My apologies, I seem to have made a misreading that the goo in question WAS claimed by one of your subjects, but then realised my mistake. Then, to re-phrase my question, have you perhaps injected any of the subject with something which I believe could be similar to what I injected into the cats in my experiment?

concerning. there’s suspicious glowing goop on my lab floor, but it’s not MY suspicious glowing goop.

[zackeusscientifics]

Interesting. That is what the cats I used in my latest experiment have left behind them in a number of places on the floor of my dear lab. Drives me further into insanity, which I did not think was possible. I suspect the green, bioluminesent liquid i injected them with to make their eyes glow-in-the-dark might have affected their digestive system in some way. May I ask what it was you injected into this test subject? I am only curious to hear about the details of a like-minded individual's experiments, so that mayhaps we can compare our findings and fuse our geniuses to reach new discoveries at light's speed. Looking foreward to hear from you!

Wishing you great success in you studies🧪⚡️🧫⚗️🧬🔩//Dr. Zackeus Derengeius

concerning. there’s suspicious glowing goop on my lab floor, but it’s not MY suspicious glowing goop.

[zackeusscientifics]

Dear Tumblr

No, I do not wish to buy your shoelaces. Unless you happen to make them in green. Although I do doubt they will beat my self-made, self-tying ones, which are very handy for laboratory work, since in the case you forget to tie them, they will tie themselves before you fall and stumble into a tub of mildly to moderately toxic, green goo. Not a pleasant experience, I can assure you.

[zackeusscientifics]

sippin on micro plastics

[zackeusscientifics]

:(