zoeablair - Tumblr blog

[zoeablair]

I relate a lot to Hawkeye Pierce because the last three years of my life also felt unnaturally long and depressing, I'm bisexual and I'm going grey much younger than expected

[zoeablair]

mash likers are so normal. not like anyone’s ever had a normal thought abt the show but like if someone disagrees with a post they’ll just be like “i don’t like this hc/pairing but i see where you’re coming from good post op :)” I think this can be explained by the fact that a) everyone in the mash fandom is wonderful and pretty, and b) hawkeye is a Whore so whoever u think he fucked ur probably right

[zoeablair]

Throughout the movie Captain Blood(1934?) There are multiple instances in which we see The title character dismiss attraction from the opposite gender.. this along with other small clues throughout the movie create the image that Peter Blood is a member of the alphabet mafia.

In this essay I will...

[zoeablair]

We are playing a dnd style starwars game when we hear a scream from the kitchen

The cat has attacked the homemade noodles.

[zoeablair]

I'm working the night shift at my job, and I get a text from my dad. Naturally I panic because he knows I'm at work. Hes upset he will not be a backgammon master.

[zoeablair]

Focus on one project at a time? Finish a project before starting another? Blasphemy.

[zoeablair]

That Moment When you show your friend something your writing and they want to read the whole thing amd you give them access to the doc only to remember how much of your own insecurities amd issues you put into the main character without disguising them because you never thought anyone would want to read it.

[zoeablair]

I have a friend that did not accadently cut himself making tools. He simply authored a loss of hemoglobin!

[zoeablair]

Shit said in the lab!

"We can get a whole vat of hydrogen peroxide"

"That's gonna shine a lota bones"

"How many bones?"

"You have 206 right?"

"Hey bro can I borrow your copy of The Odyssey?"

"The grad students hissed at me."

"No you can't make your own surgical scalpels out of obsidian you cant even make a point."

"Do you want some RANCH on that lettuce?"- this was followed by uncontrollable laughing.

"Wee may not have money. But we have ROCKS! but cool rocks. Not like the rocks in Geology. They only have like. Quartz and stuff."(I do not know what prompted this nor of any rivalry between the departments)

[zoeablair]

You may live in college dorms if you hear high pitched laughter followed by a soft "what the fuck" and louder "fucking do it" at 11:30 and your only thought is "well, someone's got a test."

[zoeablair]

One of my professors is the one who did the study! We talk about it in our lab a lot.

imagine some dumbass swallows an entire raw rattlesnake and dies, then 1500 years later archeologists discover their poop and decide it was a cultural thing

[zoeablair]

[zoeablair]

i KNOW the sleep tips, google. trust me, i know about the darkness and the light and evil screens and exercise and meditation and not napping. i know “”“how”“” to sleep. what i need you to tell me is how to convince my fuckass adhd brain that i need to give up on doing things for the day and that the hours between midnight and five a.m. are NOT secret free extra time that no one will notice if i steal

[zoeablair]

2020 vision

[zoeablair]

[zoeablair]

For background. Last year the microwave at my parents house broke so instead of fixing the handle, my dad decided to put the GPS windshield sticky thing on the microwave to use as a handle. All well and good. Just fine.

This morning I am making mac n cheese. The steam from the boiling water dislodges the windshield stickey-now-handle and it plops itself into my cheese sauce.

I don't even have a good pun for this.

[zoeablair]

Me getting called sir in public "its chill. Gender is a spectrum and expression is a cultural construct "

Them" but your a girl?"