#(I hyperfocus on things and forget how to live)

[felix-krain]

I love them so much

(even if they keep kicking my ass)

[shimmerandink]

Jinx x Reader! With ADHD

Headcanons

Tags: Jinx x reader, reader has adhd, sweet/wholesome, headcanons, sfw

Masterlist

~Jinx loves how energetic you are. Your bursts of hyperactivity match her own chaotic nature, and the two of you feed off each other’s energy. Whether you’re bouncing off the walls or hyper-focused on a single task, Jinx is right there with you, ready to start a new project or get into trouble.

~She adores how your brain works at lightning speed and will often encourage your wild ideas, even if they don’t always work out.

~When you forget something, whether it’s an important item or a plan, you don’t have to worry about Jinx getting frustrated. Instead, she’ll turn it into a game or a joke, laughing at how your mind works.

~If you forget to bring something, she’ll immediately offer you an alternative, sometimes even suggesting something absurd like, “Who needs a map when we can just blow stuff up?” She finds your forgetfulness charming and will often take it in stride.

~If you suddenly shift your attention from one thing to another, Jinx gets it. She doesn’t mind if you’re halfway through a conversation and then start thinking about something completely unrelated. In fact, it often leads to fun, spontaneous moments where the two of you get completely sidetracked, building on each other’s ideas and interests. She might even playfully tease you, “Your brain’s like a pinball machine, huh? Bouncing everywhere!” But it’s never mean-spirited, just Jinx being Jinx.

~Whether you fidget, tap, or engage in some other stim to help with focus or anxiety, Jinx doesn’t judge. In fact, she finds it fascinating and may even encourage it. She’ll hand you something to fiddle with, like a random trinket or a new invention of hers, and cheerfully watch as you play with it. “It’s like your brain’s having a dance party, huh?” she’ll laugh, thrilled that you feel comfortable around her.

~Sometimes, your impulsivity leads to spontaneous decisions, like suddenly deciding to do something completely out of the blue—whether it’s starting a new project or making a plan to break into a place just because it popped into your head. Jinx gets that. She thrives on impulse too, and if you bring up an idea that’s out of nowhere, she’ll jump on it immediately, grinning like a madwoman. “Let’s do it, we’ll make it explode!” she’ll shout, the excitement in her voice matching yours.

~On the flip side, when you enter a hyperfocus state, Jinx may find it a bit amusing and adorable how you get completely absorbed in whatever task you’re doing. It’s not uncommon for her to leave you alone for hours, letting you work or do whatever you’re focused on, while she occasionally checks in with something wild to break your concentration. When she notices you’re in a hyperfocus state, she’ll tease, “I think I lost you in that brain of yours. Should I drag you out now?” She admires your ability to dive deep into something, even if it’s often short-lived.

~On days when ADHD symptoms hit harder, whether it’s sensory overload, racing thoughts, or anxiety, Jinx is the first to notice when you’re overwhelmed. Her own chaotic nature allows her to understand when your brain is in overdrive.

~She’ll act like an over-the-top distraction to get your mind off things, whether it’s starting a prank war, telling ridiculous stories, or pulling you into an adventure to reset your mood. If she feels like you need peace, though, she’ll simply sit by you, maybe making silly sounds or small noises to soothe you.

~Jinx doesn’t always understand personal space, and she loves to show affection in her own way. She’ll hug you unexpectedly, jump on you while you’re doing something important, or hold your face to get your attention.

~She enjoys surprising you, often demanding your full focus even if it’s in a silly or distracting way. Sometimes, her impulsive nature means she’ll pull you into spontaneous hugs or kisses when she’s feeling particularly close to you.

~Jinx often distracts you when you’re in the middle of doing something, whether it’s a task you’ve been hyperfocused on or a conversation. She might play with your hair, or make funny faces, or tell you completely random jokes. While this can frustrate you at times, Jinx’s charm and energy usually get you to laugh and forget about whatever you were doing.

~She loves keeping things lighthearted, and when she senses you’re getting too stressed, she’ll throw in a curveball to make you smile.

~When you’re on the verge of a meltdown or feeling your stress levels rising, Jinx is likely to do something chaotic but ultimately comforting. She might make silly noises, offer you one of her strange inventions to distract you, or just grab you by the hand and lead you somewhere quiet, only for her to start talking excitedly to distract you from your overwhelming thoughts.

~If she sees you starting to panic, she’ll pull you into her arms and whisper random, offbeat reassurances until you calm down.

~One of the best parts of your relationship with Jinx is that you both share the ability to be spontaneous. If you suggest doing something on a whim, like running through the streets or setting off fireworks in a random location, Jinx is all in.

~The two of you will leap into action without a second thought, feeding off each other’s impulsive energy. Your random adventures together always leave both of you breathless, laughing, and fully alive in the moment.

[sweetmariihs2]

My restyle for Onceler and Lana (from the little AU I made)

I wish I could just show the pics without having to edit them to look more saturated and contrasted. One of the cons of doing traditional art.

the storys versions:

they're separate drawings and they're in two different pages but they're kinda like one thing at the same time.

They're not really redesigns, maybe just Lana a bit, the thing is that I didn't know how to draw the Onceler or Lana yet and they looked weird in my drawings from last year. I started working on this story last year and I was still learning how to draw the Onceler, so the drawings I made of him look like I'm not as experienced in art than I actually am. If I have like, 6 drawings of The Onceler/lorax universe it will be too much. These are the ONLY Onceler drawings that I have. I think you can see which one was done first (ugliest) and which one was done last (prettiest). I took around one month to finish each one of these two pages because I took so long to draw, except for the new ones that were made recently in two different days.

Sometimes I inspire myself in other artists to try to understand what works best for me (what is more pleasing to look at and understand). Seeing other Onceler arts for some time and applying my own view of him (and with my hyperfocus back), I decided to draw them again and make them look more like my own artstyle and how I see them. Adding the traits that better define them in my opinion. I also added more unique accessories and design stuff to Lana so that she'll look less like a basic character and more unique and adapted to her story, like the truffula fur jacket and the hat with a truffula tuff. She's an hypocrite because she criticizes the Onceler, but forgets about morality as long as she lives the luxury life, just like he does, like a fake moralist. I think that's called visual storytelling. Oh well!!

Here's a small Onceler gambling I made in the Onceler page. It's part of the story. I want to make more Lana and Onceler drawings in this page, it's a work in progress for now. I feel like I'm posting a wip :P but let's stop worrying too much about that stuff.

Lana and Onceler AU post that I'll edit soon

Link of my Instagram so that you can see my art. I'm slowly posting each sketchbook page at once so all the posted pages are old drawings, I'm drawing so much better today and you can see them in my insta highlights.

[happyk44]

Do you have more thoughts on Hazel being an accountant? I actually kinda love it. She isn’t the type to turn her art into a career. And it’s important that her job is done correctly but not “lives hang in the balance” level important.

I like Hazel embracing the business side of wealth a lot. I've written previously about her being the accountant to Annabeth and Leo's architecture and engineering business. She keeps them in check monetarily, but also with resources and supplies because they both do weird shit and things blow up a lot. They both get distracted easily (ADHD) or hyperfocus on something and lose track of inventory as well, so she handles that for them.

I've also talked about her and Walt making jewelry because Walt is a curse user, so he can remove all the bad luck from the jewels she summons and then he makes pretty things, as he does in canon but w/ less magic, that she'll sell at craft fairs and whatnot.

I guess she's less of an accountant and more like the business manager - she handles a lot of things because the others forget or get confused by all the rules and those are things she knows pretty intrisincally through Pluto, the way I headcanon that Jason can walk into a new place he's never been but immediately know all the laws and rules that place is governed by, and how Percy knows how to sail when he gets in a boat. So she's the inventory manager, purchasing manager, accountant, sales assistant, mediator when Annabeth and Leo get weird about each other's ideas - basically like a good portion of the jobs needed to keep a business afloat.

With Walt it's a little easier since he does his stuff more part-time so as not to aggravate his conditon and they get along well.

I also like to think of Hazel shadowing her dad in the underworld and seeing what he does from a management position. She likes to study his spreadsheets and figure out effective cost savings that don't fuck up everyone else's ability to work, as well as assessing which gemstones will become more popular and which will fall out of fashion, idly coming up with competitive prices for her dad to sell his jewels at, making fun growth projections slides and whatnot. He loves it.

✨ Bonding. ✨

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

wibta if i lied to my partners about studying

my partners want me to limit studying to 4 hours a day, however i always feel like shit if i don't study. i enjoy studying geniunely as a passtime and i feel like of all the hobbies possible, i'd rather spend 6 hours studying than 6 hours playing video games (i'm not saying that playing video games is bad, i'm just saying that it's not what i personally enjoy). plus i feel kinda guilty about how upset my partners seem to get when i try to set the boundary that they probably shouldn't control my time like that (they do usually respect my boundaries)

i understand that it's fucked up to lie to my partners about how much i'm studying in a day, however i do kinda feel like it's none of their business. i get they're just trying to help me but i've always been a very independant person and the few times i've actually asked for their help, they were more concerned with sexting each other to even think to respond to me having a panic attack and begging for help

i am still being healthy and i'm not sacrificing taking care of myself for studying. i sleep around 6-9 hours a day, i eat 2 meals (i often skip breakfast but it's just not my thing tbh and i always have a bigger lunch to make up for it), i walk my dog every day so i'm getting exercise, etc. only thing i'm lacking is water but that's been an issue for me since i was around 8 so it's not related to the studying, just me forgetting. i help with chores too around the house so i'm not being useless

for more context, i am 16 and i'm going to start college in a week (i am unfortunately british), so i want to be well-read. i've finished all of my college summer work. i live with my family and my relationship with my partners is long-distance. i have adhd (and Other but that's unrelated so i'm not bringing it up), which means i can get hyperfixated on things like studying and i do often enter hyperfocus about it. however, i think being in hyperfocus about learning is probably one of the best things that can happen about. i also have autism and social studies (the thing i'm studying) is my special interest

so if i lied to get them to leave me alone so i could study in peace, would that be an asshole move? if so, what should i do instead?

What are these acronyms?

[pixiecactus]

About G/A and the separate futures phase. Whoever published it was a very dedicated shipper who got devastated by his response. I don't think anyone would lie about that because this fan was genuinely very upset over this. Despite being my favorite ship, I always had the impression that they would have at most some puppy love, but that it wouldn't be endgame. Then, everything connected for me. A friend of mine pointed out that many female characters of asoiaf (Sansa, Cat, Brienne, Dany, Asha), especially those who are outside the norm. They generally experience passions and/or have multiple romantic interests. And they are allowed to move on from those early love interests. And without the time skip. I end up finding it a bit unfeasible to expect that only Arya never goes through these experiences and that she should be only be with him and end. As if she couldn't live other paths? I know it's not a popular opinion, but I think it's a natural aspect to see other possibilities in life.  For me, if she were really going to end up with him (something I don't believe anymore). It would be more interesting if she could experience other passions. I mean in the most innocent sense, like a first kiss and things like that. George comments that he has always known the main characters' endings since 1991. And I don't think that includes G/A as endgame and like the only option in her life... I still like them a lot. However, I have a very different opinion from fandom

i'm going to fracture your ask into parts so it will help me focus on which part i'm actually answering, because my mind tends to hyperfocus on the smallest details, and i go ranting about them, and then i forget what i wanted to write in the first place. so here we go:

About G/A and the separate futures phase. Whoever published it was a very dedicated shipper who got devastated by his response. I don't think anyone would lie about that because this fan was genuinely very upset over this.

so i decided to make my response to this part a post of it's own, and here's the link to it. (x)

Despite being my favorite ship, I always had the impression that they would have at most some puppy love, but that it wouldn't be endgame.

i've come to agree with this notion as an adult, but from what i can remember during my brief time in the asoiaf fandom years ago, back in that time it was treated almost as common knowledge that gendry was arya's very own "ygritte" and how ygritte and gendry served the same purpose in the narrative for jon and arya, a "first love" figure. it seems that the show completely erased that type of idea from being discussed.

Then, everything connected for me. A friend of mine pointed out that many female characters of asoiaf (Sansa, Cat, Brienne, Dany, Asha), especially those who are outside the norm. They generally experience passions and/or have multiple romantic interests. And they are allowed to move on from those early love interests.

i want to say that i agree with this, but at the time i don't. let me explain, sorry for oversharing, but i have to say first that i'm one of the most aromantic fucks to ever exist, so i always have a hard time talking about these concepts because i know very well that they don't hold any significance for me, but my own experience is not the norm, and i have a hard time understanding how romantic interest or romantic love works in the slightest (skill issue on my part, i know). now with that out of the way, i want to tackle each character and their romantic interests as i see them.

let's start with sansa. this is all from my memory, though, as i haven't touched a sansa's chapter in its entirety in years (yeah, i know, but they're headache-inducing for me) sansa was enamoured with the concept of what a prince should be, and i think that her naivety completely blinded her when it comes down to joffrey. since she loved the aforementioned ideas of a handsome prince, i think she decided that if joffrey had the title of prince, those concepts must apply to him, and i guess that it helped his case that joffrey was pretty handsome. so sansa in her naivety, got a crush on an idea of joffrey who was only on her mind while she was actively overlooking any flaw or horrible behavior that joffrey presented. i guess this is why i have a problem with those posts that claim that sansa loves people so deeply. my response is that she is a child that doesn't know a thing about romantic love (and i know that's a bit rich coming from me)

i remember a little bit about sansa having a thing for loras tyrell, but what comes to my brain is sansa dreaming about licking the sweat of his chest, but i'm pretty sure that's an exaggeration, but 16 year old me remembers reading something sansa and loras's chest... okay i did find the part in the books.

Wed to Ser Loras, oh . . . Sansa's breath caught in her throat. She remembered Ser Loras in his sparkling sapphire armor, tossing her a rose. Ser Loras in white silk, so pure, innocent, beautiful. The dimples at the corner of his mouth when he smiled. The sweetness of his laugh, the warmth of his hand. She could only imagine what it would be like to pull up his tunic and caress the smooth skin underneath, to stand on her toes and kiss him, to run her fingers through those thick brown curls and drown in his deep brown eyes. A flush crept up her neck.

i classify this as purely physical attraction, but that's what i want to get to. from my perspective, sansa feels strong physical attraction to people, and her mind does the rest, filling in the blanks, but we never see her making an effort to know who the person behind the appearance she was attracted to actually is.

let me put a disclaimer here: this isn't me criticizing the character, i'm an aroace man that only feels aesthetic attraction, so i understand sansa in this aspect all too well. personally speaking, when i find someone beautiful, the only thing i want is to stare at them as one would to a work of art (and this has always happened to me with celebrities)

so other than the hound, my opinion is that sansa's romantic interests are purely based on physical attraction. and this ties with the notion that sansa believes that good appearance equals good character, when it isn't always the case.

now let's get to catelyn stark née tully. i guess that the three "romantic interests" that we could talk about here are littlefinger, but very loosely, because catelyn loved petyr as a brother, but he was in fact the one who was in love with her. and sure, we can talk about that time where cat, lysa and petyr played at kissing when she was no older than sansa and i think that littlefinger was younger than arya (?) but this example for me is just child curiosity manifesting itself (good thing that mononucleosis isn't a thing in this universe)

catelyn even as a young girl, had the knowledge that littlefinger was infatuated with her and that she didn't reciprocate her feelings, and from what i remember, she was betrothed to brandon stark at a really young age, and i think that catelyn was happy about this decision that her father made because brandon stark was going to be the lord of winterfell and the warden of the north, both very important titles.

so i'm currently using a search of ice and fire to find every time that brandon was mentioned in catelyn's pov, because i don't remember reading her ever waxing poetics about him and his handsomeness, other than that part in which catelyn's declared that she was disappointed the first time she saw ned, and how he was shorter and plainer than his big brother.

and then we have ned stark, the man that catelyn ended up marrying and learned to love. but even when this couple is one of the healthier relationships we ever had in the series as a whole, it wasn't without its issues. we can identify two shadows always lurking in the background following their marriage: the existence of jon snow and ned's refusal to answer catelyn's question of who was the boy's mother, and from ned's part, the fact that he was never meant to actually have the life he has now; it was supposed to be brandon, not him. from the way i see it, that could create a big "what if" for ned to wonder, at least at the beginning of their marriage, if catelyn was disappointed in him and if she still preferred to be able to marry brandon. these issues never got resolved during their marriage, but at the same time we saw they bonded; they were loyal to each other, and their relationship developed into unconditional love. i think that i'm not doing them justice with what i'm writing, but to be honest, i love that arya loves and admires her parents’s relationship, but i don't feel the same way that she does. i don't hate them but i don't like them either; they are just there, existing for me. (i guess it's a bad time to mention that i'm a supporter of the "ashara dayne was ned's first love" headcanon)

let me continue to brienne of tarth. i think that brienne's infatuation with renly is similar to the one of sansa with joffrey, except for the big detail that what made brienne like renly was the fact that he was kind to her. and of course this carries a big significance to brienne because she was accustomed to being scorned, to be rejected, or even to be pitied. but then again, i think that brienne is enamoured of a certain image of renly, without knowing the person fully.

look, i don't want to touch brienne's relationship with jaime, because absolutely i could never do them justice. did you see how bad i sucked at talking about cat and ned's relationship? i don't want to repeat that, even though in this case i do ship braime. but, what i will say is that gendrya and braime both share the aspect that they actually know the person, their character and how they behave before getting romantic feelings involved in the mix. let me point to the sign that says, "they had shared traumatic experiences together that strengthened their bond with each other."

my girl dany comes next. i want to preface what i'm about to write next with: once i was young and stupid and i actually shipped daenerys with drogo (i guess that i saw the relationship similar to how cat and ned marriage came to be) now that i'm a little bit older, i can see the relationship for what it is: a child bride slave and his slaver. now i think that daenerys's mind was trying to protect her from the big traumatic situation she was in and made her believe that she was in love with her so called "husband" because the ugly truth was too much to process. people always love to forget that dany is a young child as well.

we see daenerys exploring her sexuality later on with irri and for me, her relationship with daario, is charged with a strong physical attraction (i have my own theory that is meant to showcase that dany has developed hypersexuality, as sometimes happens with survivors of sexual trauma; a reminder here that dany was subjected to marital rape) and this is a way in which she can reclaim her sexual expression.

i'm going to skip asha (sorry!) because i remember the least about her, other that, i never understood the decision that the show took to make her sapphic (i'm using that term because currently i can't remember if her show counterpart yara was bisexual or lesbian; i have seen some people using one and other people using another) when in the book she's clearly straight, i really don't understand why for some people it's so difficult to conceptualize that gender nonconforming women can be straight and like men.

i really took the long road to get here (this wasn't a reference, by the way) but taking all that i’ve already written into account. yeah i agree with the thought that we see most female characters having different romantic interests and short passions through the books, and yes, i understand where people are coming from when asking the question: why would be any different with arya?

i will become the most positive and deluded version of myself to point out the next stuff about gendrya, how they seem to break the pattern, and why they could be an exception to this.

let's start by saying that when arya and gendry met each other, neither of them found the other attractive to the point that they created a preconceived notion of who they were supposed to be or behave.

they didn't become friends right off the bat; arya knew gendry as the bull, and gendry knew arya as arry, the two of them using aliases.

from there, their "relationship" started to develop from two strangers that were forced to coexist in the same space (this sounds a lot worse than what actually was, because contrary to brienne and jaime, arya and gendry didn't have any animosity towards the other at the beginning) to the very start of a friendship based on mutual trust and understanding.

i do think that they impressed each other, with gendry being the only one willing to go back for arya and then later on arya returning the favor.

that brings me to the "only gendry was different" part of the book. i'm sorry, but i live by this quote, and yeah, i know that the plain context is that arya is considering telling gendry her real identity and how she could be safe telling him because the queen wanted him too, but my main takeaway from this part is that gendry has earned arya's trust by being himself.

and i really think that for gendry the same statement is true. only arya was different, even more after he was told her real identity. because here comes this little girl, as brave and kind as they come, protecting him and a bunch of other kids (she's literally being mother wolf protecting her pack) even when she's part of the nobility and the daughter of a lord. arya's existence is challenging his very own preconceived notions.

so we have these two kids, who have become each other's more trusted people while they are in the middle of a war-torn country trying their best to survive. they have built a very strong foundation for their relationship to develop into something more.

a while ago, i read a post talking that for arya, loving people is easy; she is curious, friendly, and kind; she loves to participate in a community; she knows how to adapt; she's a very passionate character, but what doesn't come as easy for her is trusting people, and i wholeheartedly agree. and gendry with his obstinate and loyal personality, presented himself as reliable and steady, a strong shoulder to rely on, the perfect candidate to obtain arya's trust, if i say so myself. and all of this was before any of the two developed any romantic interest in the other.

i swear i'll get into the angsty part of the deal, but i need to write first that gendrya, in comparison to ned and cat and/or dany and drogo (since both couples were married before they really knew each other) seems to have chosen each other; they started to develop feelings and physical attraction out of their own volition.

i think that is super interesting that arya has never had a problem noticing attractiveness in boys/men before or after, but we don't get a peep from her regarding gendry in this aspect, but we can infer it when we pay attention to all the multiple times where arya describes his deep blue eyes, and his hair always falling between said eyes. arya's focus is on how strong gendry is and how muscled he is, thinking about it even when she's mad at him and how if she were to hit him, he probably wouldn't feel it at all because he's muscled.

Arya knew which prince she meant: Joffrey, of course. The tall, handsome one. Sansa got to sit with him at the feast. Arya had to sit with the little fat one. Naturally. 

.

“A man does not choose his companions in the black cells,” the handsome one with the red- and-white hair said.

.

She liked to pretend that one of them was Joffrey’s. She tried to picture how his pretty face would look dipped in tar. 

.

“Her?” The Hound snorted. “Is she your mother, Dondarrion? Or your whore?” Dondarrion? Beric Dondarrion had been handsome; Sansa’s friend Jeyne had fallen in love with him. Even Jeyne Poole was not so blind as to think this man was fair.

.

The handsome man had a beard of a different color every time she saw him, and a different nose, but he was never less than comely.

.

“The gods must have loved him to give him such a voice, and that fair face as well.” He is fair of face and foul of heart, thought Arya.

.

Before summoning the serving men to carry him away, she knelt and felt his face, tracing the line of his jaw, brushing her fingers across his cheeks and nose, touching his hair. Curly hair, and thick. A handsome face, unlined. He was young.

time to bring another one of my favourite moments, so i don't think that it would be news for anyone who read the books, the fact that gendry dislikes edric dayne with a passion. what i think that people don't notice is that gendry started disliking him even before the reveal that he was the lord of starfall, and what was the motive for this? well, edric's only crime was spending time with arya and talking to her in highheart. then he learned that edric was a member of the nobility, same as arya, and i think that at that moment, gendry truly hated him.

so currently gendrya has graced us with a friendship that started slowly, but it ended up building a strong foundation, composed of mutual trust, understanding, and loyalty. a little bit later on, physical attraction was added to the mix, along with feelings of inadequacy and jealousy. and then it was cut short.

we had a slow but promising build on towards something more with no payoff in sight.

and from the top of my mind, i think that the only other couple that you could say the same about them, is braime.

so unlike sansa and brienne, arya spent a lot of time next to gendry, learning exactly the type of person he is. she never idealized gendry to be someone that he's not.

and unlike catelyn and dany, there was nothing forcing arya into a place where she develops romantic feelings for gendry as a duty, and it was the same thing for him as well. (again, this sounds so bad for the nedcat nation, but my honest opinion is that if you have two people forced to be married and then later on you learn that these people developed feelings for each other and now are in a loving relationship, it can be a "me" thing, but i cannot help but wonder if there was a little bit of conformism coming from both parties involved added to the mix)

can i say that from a reader standpoint, arya and gendry misunderstanding each other is just so perfectly angsty? i know that i'm biased, but i swear it hurts so bad to even think about it. no, but really. my dumb teen brain used to think that gendry's thoughts about his knighthood were almost "one track mind." and the actual meaning of this was gendry trying his best to climb the social ladder to be deserving of having the chance to get with arya.

but this couldn't be further from what i now consider the truth. this decision is about himself (as it should be!) i do think that gendry noticed arya's class blindness and how this would affect their friendship because in the society they live in, there's no way they could ever be equals, and more closely, the fact that arya's family would never accept their friendship no matter what arya said to him. this is all part of arya's own journey to accept the idea that people that she has known all her life are not the good guys and how her own family and their allies can be responsible for horrible things happening mostly to the smallfolk as well. this is something that the author has put emphasis on for arya to notice since mycah's death in the first book. 

and gendry has seen this happen for most of his life, if i have to guess. and this gendry no longer wants to sit as peacefully as you could get while looking the other way; this was what he was doing under lucan's mentorship (?) apathy will get you nowhere, afterall. i think that we could add the fact that back in harrenhal he lived as an armourer would, what his life was meant to be before everything went to shit, and maybe he didn't like it; maybe he felt helpless, and i think he was set into conforming to this way of life before arya showed up with the idea of escaping harrenhal.

so we have gendry making his decision to stay with the brotherhood, first because he liked the idea of how they gave the hound a fair trial; second, the brotherhood presented themselves as outlaws fighting for the biggest victims of the wars all around them, the smallfolk, and that is something that gendry believes in and is willing to fight for. third, this was his best option since his friendship with arya would be a thing of the past whether he wanted or not, and arya's family would send him to the forge, and as i said before, i don't think that's where he wants to be anymore. fourth, i can see him thinking that arya is so close to getting reunited with her family, and probably her happiness about this fact would help lessen the blow of gendry not accepting to follow her again. 

arya isn't able to see this decision in this particular light, gendry choosing to leave her only seems to fuel her abandonment issues and bring her self-esteem even lower than before. this is all happening while arya is already breaking down, thinking that her mother wouldn't want her anymore due to her appearance and reasoning that she's not worthy of rescue from her brother, who is a king now. and here's the boy, who she once considered her only true friend in the world, siding with her captors, the same people that kidnapped her and only see her as a means to get coin. i can see this reinforcing the awful idea that arya has of "other than jon, no one will ever love me" and of course this isn't gendry's fault, but it breaks my heart all the same.

and since then, the few times that arya thinks of gendry after getting separated from him, the thought that dominates over any other is that gendry didn't want to be her friend, and she was stupid for ever thinking so.

and that makes you think that if arya would consider that the friendship between them built in mutual trust was a lie from the beginning or gendry was just humoring her because she was a lady from a great house and him a lowborn bastard.

and this means for me that if we get arya and gendry reuniting, they're not going to hit it off; arya was hurt, and the trust and camaraderie they used to share are gone.

And without the time skip. I end up finding it a bit unfeasible to expect that only Arya never goes through these experiences and that she should be only be with him and end. As if she couldn't live other paths? I know it's not a popular opinion, but I think it's a natural aspect to see other possibilities in life.

oh god, this is where i'm very conflicted with myself. because, as a person, i completely agree with you here, but as a shipper, i don't want to agree.

and it doesn't help that it's probably less than a year since i discovered that the five-year time skip is no longer in the picture. my plan really was, i'll get back into asoiaf when twow is released, and by then arya is going to be 16 and gendry is going to be 20, which i learned a few months ago that they would have matched the age both should be (as a girl who is a highborn lady and as a boy who was under an apprenticeship) looking for a partner to marry. we really could have it all.

the thing is that i'm pretty sure that arya would get those experiences in braavos... the problem mostly relies on gendry (not really)

George mentioned the coming of age of Arya in Braavos in the context of how a writer had to discipline himself to write only as many chapters as were necessary to serve the story, saying that what Arya was dealing with in Braavos could make a worthy young adult novel in it’s own right.

.

"Arya is a lot of fun to write about. I could write a whole novel about Arya in Braavos."

meanwhile it's been a long time since i read a book of that particular genre... but all the ya books i still have stacked somewhere in my house from my teen years have a romantic theme as the main plot.

i'm inclined to believe that arya will have a romantic subplot in braavos just based on those previous quotes from the author, but at the same time, taking into account arya's personality and her curious nature, it fits and makes sense to see it as a possibility for me.

i'd dare to say that i'm a believer that "with the five-year time skip still in place, arya would have come back to westeros without a maidenhood for any man to claim"

now let me explain why i think that gendry could be the problem, but not really at the same time.

personally speaking, i don't find the notion of meeting a person when you're really young, falling in love with them, and them being your only romantic prospect as a healthy one. most likely is the aromantic cynic in me, but i believe that people in your life in the romantic aspect come and go and there's nothing you can do to stop them from doing so, so you better appreciate the time you have with them, and relationships are the best way to discover things about yourself.

but gendry in affc seems stuck in a sort of purgatory state. he's angry and seems to be consumed by guilt. this is my own speculation, but i believe that arya is front and center in his thoughts every day since she was kidnapped. and i'm desperate for someone to take him to the side and tell him that this isn't healthy. i get that the boy is grieving, and grief is expressed in different ways, and i have seen people theorizing that it has been around six or five months since arya was kidnapped in asos and gendry's appearance in affc, but my point still stands: this isn't healthy in the slightest.

and gendry doesn't seem interested in anyone around him, in a romantic or even friendly aspect, and that's why i have a problem with the widely accepted headcanon of gendry hooking up with one of the heddles, who it seems to be always jeyne, affc is showing us that gendry couldn't be more different than his father, even if he tried. the boy is not looking to get his dick wet with anyone. (i'll derrail here a little bit to talk about how most of the fics that follow the aforementioned headcanon have jeyne being the one seeking gendry out, and i have seen more than a few state that jeyne fell in love with him since the first time she saw him or since he came to live with them... and that leaves a weird feeling over me because in affc, jeyne is a 18 year old, already a woman grown, and gendry is a 14 year old, you know, an actual child)

now, with what i have said before, you'd think that i want gendry to experience another romantic prospect before reuniting with arya? well, no, i don't. but this time it doesn't have to do with gendry being his father's narrative foil but rather than somewhere along the way when grrm was writing gendry as a foil to robert in the sexuality aspect, gendry started to fit in a lot in a demisexual category and as a person that is part of the aspec community, i can't simply unsee it.

i don't think that this was the author's intention, and yes, demisexual!gendry is just another headcanon in a sea of them, but i live by this headcanon. like c'mon, what kind of boy rejects free sex offered to him in a society that doesn't see you as a man unless you have fucked someone?

and here's where the conflict in myself starts to show, because i truly believe that romantic relationships aid you in the process of discovering yourself as a person. but as the same person who knew that i was in fact asexual at the young age of 15 and succumbed to societal pressure from people around me telling me "that i couldn't know because i never had sex before" almost sounding as a "your statement isn't valid unless..." and after having a few romantic/sexual relationships in my early twenties, i can confirm that the 15 year old child that i was, still to this day, is right. and now looking back, i realize that i never had to prove myself to anyone, and i don't want gendry to go through the same things that i went through myself.

so... gendry is not interested in having sex or even having a romantic relationship with anyone else? good for him, and i fully support him. "only gendry was different" am i right?

For me, if she were really going to end up with him (something I don't believe anymore). It would be more interesting if she could experience other passions. I mean in the most innocent sense, like a first kiss and things like that. George comments that he has always known the main characters' endings since 1991. And I don't think that includes G/A as endgame and like the only option in her life… I still like them a lot. However, I have a very different opinion from fandom.

i said that i agree with the thought of gendrya not being endgame, and i do, but i think that my decision has a lot more to do with the fact that jonrya in all books is so strong, i'd be an idiot to not recognize it as such.

and this, plus the fact that i believe that the original outline is still relevant to the story, is why we truly respect jonrya in this humble gendrya household that is my sideblog...

but at the end of the day, it all comes down to preferences, and i like gendrya more than jonrya... it's just that i see arya and gendry as more evenly matched in a sense. i think that i have a problem with the fact that jon is arya's own idol, and the idealization of your partner in relationships is not something i find healthy.

and just because i want to come back to the beginning in a way, if we believe that the "quote" is real, gendrya having separated futures doesn't negate the possibility of them getting romantically involved in the first place.

so where i currently stand as a gendrya shipper, is if they happen, they happen and i’m going to be ecstatic for them, because i love them both and i want them to have good things in their life, i agree with you that they aren’t going to be endgame but i still have the littlest hope in my heart, it’s just both of them have so much life and fertility symbolism, you know?

and i think that i have to end this with the least positive version of myself, saying that i believe that grrm doesn't owe us anything as an author, and with every day that passes, i'm losing hope of ever getting to read twow... so there's the possibility that we will never know (?)

this isn't me trying to bring my favourite band into the mix, but i really think that gendrya is going to be my favourite "what if" and my best "i'll never know"

if you have read all of this post, thank you for putting up with me for this long. and thank you, anon for sending me this ask in the first place and for your patience. i'd say take a shot every time i wrote "i think", but that would be encouraging alcohol poisoning, so let's not do that.

[firestorm-fox]

You know , the more I look through your blog, the more I get the urge to simply throw the whole HASO (Humans Are Space Orcs) trope bucket at Eclipse and enjoy the consequences /very positive

YES!

I think the more Eclipse learns about humans, the more he's like "why did Doom think it was a good idea to pick a fight with them?"

Like most modern humans don't do much that would be considered threatening but there are still plenty of humans who hunt big game, including species that will eat us. Then there's the whole humans hunting big woolly mammoths with pointy sticks thing. Humans taking wolves who want to eat us and turning them into dogs that are insanely loyal to us. The whole cat thing. We can train pretty much any animal, including huge ones and, again, those that want to eat us. There are very few animal species that actually actively hunt humans, polar bears being one. Most animals are terrified of us and playing the sounds of humans speaking near a waterhole scares them off more than the sounds of local predators. Yet there's also several cases of animals seeking out humans for help. Humans will also keep dangerous predators like lions and tigers and bears (oh my) as pets just for fun.

We also have plenty of very brutal, effective weaponry (he's already aware of nukes). There's cases of soldiers in a war taking out tons of enemy soldiers on their own. So sucks for Doom that he had to wait so long, which allowed humans to make said weapons before he invaded. I'm sure plenty went all Rambo on them.

Which also leads into our insane tenacity and resourcefulness, which can be terrifying. Especially since Black Arms don't have the ability to think for themselves, so no resourcefulness whatsoever (Shadow was raised by humans and likely picked this up).

Then there's humans actually being predators ourselves, and specifically endurance predators. The just keep coming and coming and coming type. Going on the "cat lizards" I posted about before, Black Arms probably lean more toward ambush predators.

Then you got the whole ADHD hunter theory where we have adaptations suited for hunting (the senses, the hyperfocus, etc).

There are a lot of things humans can eat that would kill other species on Earth. Chocolate, caffeine, spicy peppers, alcohol, etc. As hypercarnivores, Black Arms would likely struggle with these. Probably wouldn't kill Eclipse specifically, but make him sick tho.

Then you got the body builders and top athletes. Those that could probably rival a Black Oak in strength.

Like humans are a very "sleeper build" species. No sharp teeth or claws, but still plenty dangerous. Black Arms with sharp teeth and claws don't seem a whole lot tougher, esp if going by in-game number of hits it takes to kill them.

Then Eclipse learns about Australia and that humans still choose to live there.

And he's just "I give up", "forget this", and "how do we get in on the cat thing?"

[feyres-divorce-lawyer]

watch my video boi🧌

transcript 👇🏾

with nessian, there is the consistent narrative that the pairing is between a noble lady and a bastard born, when that is not all the case. it is actually a pairing where the guy consistently harrasses the girl to pay him attention and breaks her down until she gives in, let’s talk about it.

1. the hyperfocus of cassian’s bastardry

of the things we learn about cassian’s background, his status as a bastard is one the reader is constantly reminded of. whether it’s through his self-pity or other characters using it as a passing insult, the author never lets us forget cassian is a bastard, and neither does cassian. his bastardry becomes one of the facets in the formation of his relationship with nesta. because she was born in wedlock and as a noble lady, there’s an asinine framing of nesta as a snotty, classist who looks down upon poor low born cassian. she is made out to be someone who somehow holds power over cassian because she lived in high society for the first 14 years of her life nevermind that she lived in poverty for the next 7 or so. but does nesta actually do this? thanks to the work of theladyofbloodshed, (@theladyofbloodshed) we know she does not. in published books, nesta has only ever called cassian a bastard six times. six times, in four books. and only one of those times did she mean it as an insult, likely because he was physically assaulting her, as he is wont to do. so the question remains if nesta is not a snotty high lady who looks down on low-born cassian, why is she framed that way?

2. acosf is an incel revenge fantasy (thanks eon)

one of my mutual’s (@ae-neon) once called acosf an incel revenge fantasy, this combined with your comment of cassian wanting nesta to finally prove he isn’t just a bastard i’m further inclined to say she’s right. cassian oftens projects his insecurities about his bastardry onto nesta and quite literally puts words in her mouth. he says she’s called him a bastard a thousand times, and while this is obviously hyperbole, nesta as never even said or thought bastard enough times to warrant the exaggeration. he looks at her and sees the illyrians who probably bullied him as a kid and the illyrians who won’t respect him now as a general. clearly, if he can’t gain respect from them he can gain nesta and show them and the world he is more than a bastard, and worthy of respect. the foundation of their relationship is built on cassian using nesta to get over his insecurity. when learning of her exploitative childhood and how her mother planned on using her, his first thought isn’t empathy for her, it’s concern about himself. “nesta was raised to marry a prince, and i’m not a prince, oh poor me” he takes her rebuffs and her discomfort around him as a challenge, almost like she’s the reward when he inevitably breaks down the walls she’s erected around herself, nevermind that he’s half the reason those walls exist, and then victimizes himself when she inevitably snaps. like this is genuinely so insane to me, nesta verbally asserts in some way that she wishes for cassian to leave her be seven times, and he just… doesn’t. and note the language; he calls a vengeful queen, he is equating her justified anger at him with the status of nobility she didn’t even hold onto into adulthood. “a low born illyrian bastard” and yet she never said that.

anyways, cassian you ain’t shit and i hope elain’s prophecy comes true. byee.

[dearinglovebot]

Answer all of the ship questions for clawen pretty pleaseeeeee

you are the moot who i would save first if tumblr caught on fire one day. god bless

who hogs the duvet?

claire and she has no shame about it. she hogs blanket and mattress. he is resigned to a tiny strip of bed, cold, shivering, completely blanketless...

who texts/rings to check how their day is going?

owen because claire experiences work hyperfocus at such intensity that she will momentarily forget she has a family and someone needs to remind her to eat lunch

who's the most creative when it comes to gifts?

claire online shops on websites so niche the average human cannot comprehend them but owen is better at giving customized handcrafts. that's a man who knows how to whittle.

who gets up first in the morning?

controversially going with owen. "claire is work-brained" yes, but she's so work-brained that it keeps her up later thus requires more time sleeping in. owen has the sleep tendencies of an old lady and wakes up right at dawn.

who suggests new things in bed?

listen... all i'm saying is that when we look at canon... only one of them is implied to be into biting. if anyone is getting freaky... i think we have our answer

who cries at movies?

owen because claire insists they're "just fiction, owen" and "i'm going to cry about real things". he approaches movies as entertainment and she approaches movies like they're puzzles to solve

who gives unprompted massages?

owen. no question.

who fusses over the other when they're sick?

they're going to take care of the other if either is sick. claire fusses in an over-vigilant always keeping her eye on the person way where owen is actively asking "do you need something to eat? do you need something to drink? in another hour you'll need to take more pills". but that said, the fussing would drive claire crazier because she's going to try harder to deny that she's sick at all. no, she doesn't need cough syrup. she is perfectly healthy (said minutes before fainting).

who gets jealous the easiest?

canon makes a very strong case for it being owen. between his dialogue in fallen kingdom and the legends of isla nublar episode dedicated to him jealously seething, that man is fighting for his life.

who has the most embarrassing music taste?

in maisie's perspective, owen. he'd probably be into old country with guys singing over their guitars about beer, farming, trucks, and women. which maisie will think is very cringe because who even likes country these days. meanwhile claire is more acceptable because her taste is more inline with blues/soul and jazz.

who collects something unusual?

owen is way more likely to. claire would collect something like postage stamps or old coins that's kind of lame but pretty unnotable. owen would have go for something that's kind of funny like animal football team mascot bobbleheads for each city they go to.

who takes the longest to get ready?

claire because she considers getting ready a process to complete. owen considers getting ready "putting pants on".

who is the most tidy and organized?

claire is meticulously devoted to keeping things exactly as she wants them. owen isn't messy, but he does think a house should be lived in. claire on the other hand labels every file on her computer with relevant names and uses tags. she approaches everything in life like this. it's fun and comforting to her

who gets most excited about the holidays?

owen is the one who wants to put up decorations and make specific food. claire doesn't particularly have any strong connection to the holidays until she starts reconnecting with karen + the boys and finds her own family. she enjoys holidays because her family enjoys them. owen enjoys them because he is full of whimsy and believes in living life to the fullest

who is the big/little spoon?

controversial opinion: they do not have defined roles. sometimes there isn't a big spoon, sometimes it's owen, sometime's it's claire. owen is more likely to fall into the role because he likes knowing she's close meanwhile claire likes being held because it feels more secure (she would love weighted blankets) BUT every night they just do what feels natural for that night

who gets more competitive when playing games and/or sports?

they both terrify maisie during boardgames because they can't help getting way too competitive with each other specifically, but claire is more likely to threaten to kick him out of the house if he launches another banana peel at her in mario kart. owen is a good sport and she is... working on that.

who starts the most arguments?

one of their favorite bonding activities is bickering. claire probably has more things to nit-pick but he's playing into every argument willingly because he likes to bother her

who suggests that they buy a pet?

they already have two pet velociraptors and they are 100% owen's fault. all future pets will go this same route. claire is always going to act like she doesn't want anything to do with getting one and maisie and owen will talk her into it and she has to pretend that she doesn't also love it after a few days of meeting it

what couple traditions do they have?

board shorts, tequila, date itinerary. they can't go for a night out alone without mentioning one or more. it's always "at least you aren't wearing shorts this time" or "what time is desert on the itinerary?"

what tv shows do they watch together?

shondaland. if it was produced by shondaland, they are tuning in. gray's anatomy, bridgerton, scandal... they're seated. they're discussing it in depth after each episode too.

what other couple do they hang out with?

alan and ellie, duh. but they'd also get along with sarah and ian. they might also go out with barry and who ever he's currently dating. and claire would insist on spending time with whoever zia's seeing, too. in that case, owen is defineltly getting deemed the token straight guy who has to keep grabbing the food and drinks for them because of #feminsim.

how do they spend time together as a couple?

parallel play is how they spend a lot of the day when they're both home. he does his thing, she does hers, but always in the same room. but theres also shondaland time or maisie and owen dragging claire on outdoor adventures or talking before bed.

who made the first move?

i go back and forth on this. on the one hand, owen would have no problem asking her out immediately. on the other, claire is a girlboss who also goes after what she wants. i lean towards owen though because claire is emotionally stunted with a massive ego about any level of vulnerability

who brings flowers home?

owen. he doesn't buy them though. just plucks them and claire doesnt ask if he had to jump a fence to do it .

who is the best cook?

claire cannot cook. at all. owen is the only one in that house actually making anything. maisie learns from owen. she just watches and sits there for moral support

[slow-burn-sally]

My Favorite Characters with ADHD

Again, these are only my opinions.

Jeremy - The Secret Of NIMH. Come on. Look at him. He is a combined-type ADHD boy if ever there was one. Distracted, clumsy, impulsive, I bet the writers either had ADHD, knew someone who had ADHD, or had a child with ADHD.

2. Newton Geiszler - Pacific Rim.

Also impulsive as fuck, a class clown, obnoxious, yet obnoxiously smart, and somehow still charming as fuck. He reads very ADHD to me. BB. Forgive me for using the meme gif. It's just so good.

3. Rose Nylund - The Golden Girls

Who doesn't love Rose? She's friendly, sweet, fun, creative, horny, and hilarious. She also can't remember anything for more than five minutes, and is the human equivalent of a small, cute dog who bumps into things a lot by accident. I love you Rose. Long live Betty White.

4. Sherlock Holmes (The Jeremy Brett Granada-Holmes).

I actually think Holmes may have had both ADHD and Autism, but really, Brett's Holmes is bombastic, impulsive (seeing a trend), able to hyperfocus at the speed of light. Overshares, blows up friendships. Cannot keep a clean flat. Hyper as all get out. Think about it.

5. Nadja of Antipaxos - What We Do In The Shadows

She's a hot mess. Distracted, forgetful, intensely interested in some things, and cannot be bothered to give a flying fuck about other things. Out of sight, out of mind. She's probably also AuDHD actually, but for the purposes of this list, I will draw your attention to her many impulsive and rash decisions surrounding her emotions, and her over the top RSD. She's so beautiful, help.

6. Jonathan Strange - Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell.

Oh my god such an ADHD boy! He cannot sit still, and he has no patience for rules or regulations. He's self centered, impulsive (hello!), running off on the King's Roads, and drinking mouse juice to make himself go mad on purpose. Failing at four careers before finally becoming a magician by absolute accident. I love you Johnty. Never change.

7. Cornelius Hickey (or whatever his real name is) - The Terror.

He's impulsive (aye-oh!), makes sudden, rash decisions, is prone to flashes of anger, has off the charts RSD, and though he manages to hyperfocus on sabotaging the expedition for his own needs, he still makes a lot of careless mistakes and fucks it up royally. Too bad one of his hyper-focuses wasn't "learning about ships". I love you Hickey, you adorable bastard. How is his hair always so good?

8. Back to JS&MN for Christopher Drawlight.

Christopher Drawlight cannot sit still to save his life. He's always being charming, chatting people up, and making social connections, both real and fabricated by himself. Only sometimes, he loses track of which lies he's told, and to whom, which gets him in a lot of trouble. His hyperfocus is social status, and he can't let it go, even at the bitter end. He's really one of my favorite characters, even if he is a horrible person. This goes for both book and show Drawlight, by the way. Both top notch. Both ADHD as fuck.

9. Dory - Finding Nemo.

I mean... do I have to say anything else? I don't think I do. I love Dory so much. I relate so, so much. Inattentive ADHD Fish Sister.

10. All versions of Doctor Who, but Tenant is becoming iconic, and I love him, so let's go with number 10!

Just an all around hyperactive ADHD guy. Fun, creative, adventurous, risk taker, IMPULSIVE (it doesn't end). But really, all Doctor Whos feel ADHD to me. There's something capricious and clumsy and dreamy and jumpy about all of them.

[sephirthoughts]

Hi! I hope you had a good day today.

For the ask game, what are your thoughts on 5 and 9 for Sephiroth?

I did, thank you! I hope you had a good day, too!

ON TO THE BURNING QUESTIONS

5. Sephiroth is such a wonderful layer-cake of pathologies, it's so fun to dissect the impacts on his personality. He is autistic-spectrum, hyper-intelligent, alienated, deeply insecure, and feels he has no 'place in the world'. Despite his insistence, under Jenova's influence, that he's the chosen one and meant to rule the world, he has rock-bottom self-esteem and almost no sense of self. He knows he's different but he has no idea who he is. Add being raised in a lab, horribly abused, and treated like a weapon rather than a person his whole life, and there's not a lot of Sephiroth left.

This would affect his living space in that it'd be generic, impersonal, highly functional, basically empty, serving its purpose as a place to rest, and nothing else. Has place to lie down, has place to shower, has place to dress=meets criteria. I doubt he'd notice if there were even blankets on the bed. It's a Sephiroth storage container, more than a living space. Which is terribly sad and now I am sad. BOOOO ME

Whether he's messy or not is another question. He honestly strikes me as someone who hates disorder if he ever thinks about it. The problem is, he does not think about it. He has executive function issues (see: his bout of manic hyperfocus in the archives, where he had books just strewn everywhere and didn't eat or sleep or bathe for days), and is generally unaware of anything pertaining to his own self-care, including messiness/dirtiness, unless they become a nuisance that disrupts his current fixation.

When he was being raised in the lab, he was a child, so there were people who cleaned, cooked, washed his clothing, etc., and in SOLDIER they definitely had people to take care of those kind of domestic things, so they could focus on training. Hence, he never learned to clean up after himself.

All of this wouldn't matter much, in a living situation with custodial services, but if left to his own devices, his combined lack of awareness, neglect of his own needs, and inexperience with such things would create a perfect storm. He'd forget to take the garbage out, never pick up after himself, not do the dishes, have takeout boxes everywhere, and have no idea that dusting, mopping, vacuuming, etc. even exist as concepts. I think his living space would be kind of awful. But he wouldn't notice.

That is, until Angeal comes over, has seven simultaneous brain aneurysms, leaves and returns with Zack and cleaning supplies, and they spend the next ten hours deep-cleaning the place, while Sephiroth insists it's not that bad.

9. This accords so nicely with number 5! Because he'd be a terrible roommate.

-He'd be quiet, courteous, and never have parties or eat your food, but he'd leave stupid long silver hairs all over everything (the less said about the bathroom shower drain the better), never clean up after himself, and act confused when asked to do so.

-He is definitely the type to always be forgetting his house key. Like, he may as well not have one.

-He leaves that stupid, ultra-sharp, nine-foot-long sword just LYING AROUND WHEREVER. Someone is going to lose a foot.

-He thinks he's a great cook and likes to share his talent with people, and he's too sweetly sincere and excited about it, so you can't bear to break his heart, and you wind up gritting your teeth and smiling through a plate of sticky, pasty, mushy pasta, with sauce made from frankly baffling ingredients (you put walnuts in the marinara? ohhhh...how…interesting. is this an anchovy?).

-He casually says absolutely horrible, emotionally devastating things, without realizing they're horrible. Example:

person: my mom was so forgetful, she always used to burn the garlic bread and she'd mix up my brother's lunch box and mine half the time

sephiroth: haha yeah, i know what you mean. on several occasions, Hojo forgot to send someone to change my IV, when he left me strapped to an exam table in the basement lab for multiple days, and i nearly died of dehydration and malnutrition

person:

sephiroth: parents, right?

-Lastly, Sephiroth absolutely never wears a shirt and in fact doesn't even own one. This is not an annoying habit, this is the habit that makes all the other ones worth putting up with.

[nishitanis-left-nut]

as per usual the two continues were pretty stupid, the first one was in Kiryus run by a random goon with a fire extinguisher and the second one was with Shinadas home run (i quite literally knew there was gonna be a qte at some point but i still missed it somehow) (also for those who dont know the "times defeated" stat is for pedestrians you knock down)

heavy spoilers for yakuza 5 bellow

just to get this out of the way first

hes perfect and i love him

also these scenes possibly broke something in me. dreams and family have always been a main theme in these games but the hyperfocus on them in this one really did something to my psyche. the fact most characters are in or over their 30s gives me a weird sense of hope too, its never too late to "start over" or to work on being happy and all that

i know daigo's in later games, so when he got shot i didnt really feel anything cuz i knew he was gonna be fine. but then kiryu started screaming. listen i love daigo but i really sometimes forget hes like... actually important to kiryu and the plot??? kiryus known daigo almost his entire life and i sometimes forget about that and how close they actually are. i try not to think about what wouldve happened if saejima hadnt been there to hold him back

i feel like saejimas addition to the games and the characters lives in general is something i overlook and that the games themselves kind of downplay? he as a character works so well to keep things balanced and his friends from going over the edge (heh see what i did there) and that scene with Kiryu and everything with baba kind of show that really well

this was objectively insane right this pictures insane look at his stupid fuking smile and stupid fuking high rise pants also what is it with these games and age gaps mirei was 18 and majima 28 when they got married and on that note Majima Had A Wife That Is An Insane Statement but also yea of course it kind of makes sense. domesticity and love are things that keep getting ripped away from him so yea this isnt actually that out of left field. the timeline's what kind of confuses me but its fine

dont really have much to say about the haruka and kiryu parts of this game that couldnt be condensed into these screenshots. i would burn down cities for them.

i feel like i have more to say about the characters and some writing decisions they made here and there but they're all pretty insignificant things tbh. the storys kind of weird if you think about it for too long and theres certain things like aizawas whole... everything that really dont make sense or that i dont like (like how shinada doesnt know "milkys" real name and by extension neither do we) but they didnt really keep me from enjoying the game. i feel like they handled having several protagonists so much better than they did in yakuza 4 which is good, and kind of impressive giving that they had 5 in this one instead of 4. the lack of majima in this game... gets a pass...

also this game had so many side characters that i ended up really liking?

so yea play yakuza etc

[grim-girlying-ghost]

Do you have any headcanons for the organist?

Or Madame Leota perhaps?

Ooo Victor! Yes, I have a few actually!

Firstly, I’m sticking to the general depiction in modern supplementary material of him being of German Origin. He was born into a family of musicians in Germany, where he learned to play several instruments, with the Organ being his favorite due to its ✨dramatic flair✨

He moved to America in his late 20s, jumping around from job to job over the course of several decades. Before becoming the organist of Gracey Manor, some of the jobs he held included teaching as a music professor for a few years, and he also worked as the organ player for a traveling circus (the same circus Sally would eventually join). This is actually the job he held for the longest before moving into the mansion.

MAJOR RBF! On top of that, his focused face when he performs is very intense so to a lot of people at first, he doesn’t seem all that approachable. Despite this, he’s very friendly and kind of eccentric when you get to know him and get on his good side. Think that uncle who’s kinda weird and not all there but overall very friendly and loving. Yeah thats him.

I also think he’s close with Sally Slater but not in the way some people view it. I know some people ship the two and thats a completely valid interpretation ofc, but I personally can’t see it that way because I’ve always seen Victor as a sixty-year-old man, meanwhile to me Sally is like 20. Also, in my version of the story, he’s known Sally since she was a child, so in here he’s a father figure to her, in fact, Victor practically raised Sally. 

Piggybacking off the last one, he’s actually the whole reason Sally joined the circus. However, I’m gonna need to provide some context for my version of Sally‘s backstory so bare with me. Basically, Sally was separated from her birth family when she was only around 9 years old due to her mother and older siblings being killed in an incident with someone who was targeting the whole family. She and her dad survived but in the process of escaping, the two were separated and Sally gained amnesia from falling off the running vehicle they were on (yes, this is very much inspired by the first 6 minutes of Anastasia (1997)). It was a few hours after that that Victor found her wondering around with no memory of who she was and offered her a home in the traveling circus he was working for, and thus becoming her unofficial adoptive father, and her eventually becoming the circus’ tightrope walker.

Despite his mainly chill personality, he has a very serious and protective side when it comes to the people he cares about. I’ve mentioned vaguely on this blog that Sally and Dorian are a thing romantically in my story. When the two started courting, Victor took Dorian aside and word by word said “I don’t care how rich you are…if you break her heart, I will kill you”. Luckily that never happened! Even so, safe to say Dorian was kinda scared of him for a while 😅

He knows every ghost by name, better than Master Dorian Gracey himself. This is because the ballroom is a general hangout spot for all the residents of the mansion, so he’s seen and familiarized himself all of the other 998 happy haunts. The only people who have the residents better memorized than him are the Ghost Host and Leota.

He really likes cats. This is a very random one and it honestly feels so irrelevant to everything else, but he just gives me the vibe of that old man who would own several cats at the same time. For the first two decades that he lived in America, he owned like 5 cats while he was living in one place. Eventually he stopped when he joined the circus because he knew working in a traveling environment while owning pets wouldn’t work out.

At one point in his life, he was very much married to the job. There were nights he would stay up composing forgetting to eat or sleep because of how engrossed he was into his work (not me projecting my adhd creative hyperfocus here). Stepping into the father role for Sally actually taught him to ease up on it.

Since you asked, I’ll do Leota on a separate post another day, but here it is for now :)

[mentalhealthunplugged]

ADHD in Women: Why It's Often Missed and How to Recognize the Signs

ADHD in Women: Why It's Often Missed and How to Recognize the Signs

ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is often thought of as a condition that affects young boys, but in reality, it can affect anyone, including women. The symptoms of ADHD often look different in women than in men, making it harder to diagnose, especially when symptoms are more subtle or internalized. Many women with ADHD aren't diagnosed until later in life, leading to struggles that could have been better managed with the right support.

Signs and Symptoms of ADHD in Women

Forgetfulness and Disorganization Women with ADHD might find themselves forgetting appointments, misplacing keys, or leaving things unfinished. Their homes or workspaces may feel chaotic, with clutter piling up—an issue that often gets overlooked or brushed aside as just being "disorganized." However, this can be a telltale sign of ADHD that goes unnoticed.

Emotional Turmoil One of the more difficult aspects of ADHD in women is emotional dysregulation. Women with ADHD often experience mood swings, feelings of being overwhelmed, and emotional reactions that may seem out of proportion to the situation. These feelings are sometimes mistaken for anxiety or depression, but they can be rooted in the struggles of managing ADHD.

Procrastination and Pressure to Be Perfect It’s common for women with ADHD to delay tasks, especially when the tasks seem difficult or uninteresting. They might experience an overwhelming desire to make everything perfect, but as time passes, procrastination takes over. The pressure to perform perfectly can lead to feelings of shame or guilt when tasks remain incomplete.

Hyperfocus While most people associate ADHD with a lack of focus, women with ADHD can experience the opposite: hyperfocus. This means they can become so engrossed in one task that they lose track of time and ignore other important responsibilities. This intense focus can often lead to a cycle of neglecting other areas of life, such as personal care or work deadlines.

Trouble Sleeping It’s common for women with ADHD to have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. The mind can be racing with thoughts or worries, and sleep disturbances may worsen other symptoms, like irritability and lack of energy during the day.

Why ADHD is Often Missed in Women

Subtle Symptoms In many cases, women don’t display the more obvious symptoms of hyperactivity, like fidgeting or loud outbursts. Instead, their struggles are more internal—they may appear spacey, distracted, or constantly forgetful, but they don’t always draw attention the way hyperactive behaviors might in men.

Coping Strategies Women are often great at developing coping mechanisms that allow them to manage their symptoms to a certain extent. For example, they may use lists, planners, or reminders to compensate for forgetfulness, or they may try to hide their emotional reactions in order to avoid feeling like they are "too much." These coping mechanisms can help mask ADHD symptoms, preventing diagnosis for years.

Gender Expectations Society tends to expect women to be calm, organized, and multi-taskers. As a result, symptoms of ADHD—like disorganization, forgetfulness, and impulsivity—are often mischaracterized as flaws or personality traits rather than signs of a neurological condition. This adds to the difficulty in recognizing ADHD, especially if the person is trying to live up to societal standards.

Overlapping Conditions ADHD in women is often mistaken for or overlaps with other mental health conditions like anxiety, depression, and eating disorders. This can make ADHD harder to identify, as women may receive treatment for those conditions without considering that ADHD might be contributing to their struggles.

Late Diagnosis It’s not uncommon for women to go through life without realizing they have ADHD until later in adulthood. This late diagnosis often happens in their 30s, 40s, or even later, as women reflect on their challenges with focus, organization, or emotional regulation. Many women simply think they’re "bad at life" rather than realizing that ADHD may be the underlying cause of their difficulties.

Why Getting Diagnosed Matters

Getting an ADHD diagnosis as an adult can be a huge relief. It means that women can finally make sense of the struggles they’ve been facing their whole lives. A proper diagnosis opens the door to effective treatment, including therapy and possibly medication, which can help women manage symptoms like disorganization, impulsivity, and emotional swings. It also helps women develop self-compassion, realizing that their challenges aren’t due to personal failings but rather a treatable condition.

For women who receive the right treatment, life can improve dramatically. They can learn to build better coping strategies, stay on top of responsibilities, and most importantly, stop blaming themselves for things they can’t control.

New Path Counseling & Wellness PLLC

Sources:

Women and ADHD: The Unseen Struggle – National Institute of Mental Health. https://www.nimh.nih.gov

ADHD in Women: Why It’s Often Undiagnosed – ADDitude. https://www.additudemag.com

ADHD in Women: Understanding the Unique Challenges – CHADD. https://www.chadd.org

New Path Counseling & Wellness, PLLC - www.newpathcounselingandwellness.com

[thessalian]

Molly!Rook vs the Nadas Dirthalen

The Lighthouse, in a bunch of mismatched chairs

Neve: So you've been wandering around and hopping all over the place and something went ... 'clunk'. Why did something go 'clunk'?

Molly!Rook: Found a sort of riddle on the wall over there; moved some statues, got us a music room. ...Can ... any of us actually play a piano?

Harding; Neve: *look at Molly like she's absolutely out of her mind*

Molly!Rook: Hey, just thought I'd ask! Anyway, there were some shinies in there so I'm happy either way.

Neve: Forget 'Rook'; Varric should have named you 'Magpie'.

Harding: That's a myth too. Corvids are actually a little afraid of shiny objects and won't go after them unless they think it's food--

Neve: Myths walk among us, Harding.

Molly!Rook: My tendency for collecting shinies aside ... we gotta find out what's up with Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain and I do not believe I am talking about my gods like you would about your suspects.

Neve: Same principle. Just ... uglier. Which means a thorough investigation.

Harding: And while we get all our ducks in a row, people just ... die?

Neve: We go in without information, we're dead and no help to anyone. Back me up here, Rook.

Molly!Rook: Oh, right, guess nobody mentioned that the Veil Jumpers mostly let me go because I valued a whole bunch of people's lives over information and shiny things.

Neve: ...I should be glad you're not just a magically talented myth-magpie, but I still prefer by-the-book.

Molly!Rook: Either way it means back to the ritual site. So maybe we can find clues while that ... tentacled thing that's apparently one of my gods tries to eat our faces.

Harding: I like them!

Neve: You would.

And, back in Arlathan Forest

Molly!Rook: Hey! At least it's not raining demons or being actively destroyed! That's kind of a win!

Neve: Erm ... what's that?

'That': *is a bunch of Veil Jumpers getting their asses kicked by uppity armour*

Irelin: I can't ... shut ... it down!

Strife: *wrecks shit up instead*

Molly!Rook: Nice to see you taking a page out of my book, Strife.

Strife: Molly. Or ... 'Rook' now, I suppose. Either way, what did you do this time?

Molly!Rook: You're blaming me for uppity armour?

Strife: Most trouble I encounter is down to you. We lost everything when you--

Molly!Rook: Oh my gods-who-are-wanting-to-wreck-up-the-world-right-now, will you let it go?!? You just valued people over shinies, so you should--

Strife: Wait. Our gods who want to what?!?

Molly!Rook: Yeaaah you might want to hold on to your collective butts for this one.

Later, elsewhere in Arlathan

Neve: Nice move convincing Harding to stay behind. I'm not sure how well she would have managed that hike.

Molly!Rook: Eh, I was mostly serious. I've heard stories; she can take out an undead's eye at a hundred paces while up to her waist in swamp muck; that's shooting I want covering my folks. Now-- Um.

Neve: You feel it too, huh? Does Arlathan always feel this weird?

Molly!Rook: Weird, yes. This weird? No.

Neve: Wonderful. Feels cleaner than blood magic, at least...

Uppity Armour: *comes to life*

Bellara: *takes it down*

Molly!Rook: Irelin's going to want to sit you down and take notes on that move.

Bellara: Oh, you're them! Strife says it's Rook now! Usually while swearing. A lot. Why are you looking for me? I'm not late for check-in yet!

Molly!Rook: And you were just going to stay out here when you know this place feels weirder than usual?

Bellara: Well, the weird did get through my hyperfocus after awhile but then I realised I was stuck in a Veil bubble and you are too now, by the way. So unless we want to explode, we'd better shut it down first.

Molly!Rook: Well, since I like my viscera in my body instead of dangling from trees over a two-mile radius, I will help with that.

Neve: Well, with that incentive...

Several suits of uppity armour and a bunch of demons later...

Bellara: Okay, while I work on this ... I have to ask. I'm a good shot with a bow and everything, but I had no idea you could get that much precision with a ballista! How did you do headshots on falling darkspawn with a ballista?!? And why don't you use a bow?

Ogre: *crashes through nearest wall*

Molly!Rook: ...Oh fuck off. *uses Ultimate*

Ogre: *basically melts under bolt of fire incarnate*

Bellara: .........Oh. Okay. I get it now.

On the way to the Veil Jumper camp

Molly!Rook: Hey, chin up, Bellara! You dropped the Veil bubble and you got your Nadas Dirthalen shiny! All you have to do is give it a bit of a tweak and you'll have all that knowledge you were after! I mean ... hopefully, because that was the voice of someone with a really punchable face, but I guess spirits have to perform their function-- Oshit.

The Veil Jumper Camp: *looks more like a forward camp in a war zone*

Strife: Most of our Jumpers are hurt, missing, or worse, and you come back alive.

Molly!Rook: With another one of our Jumpers, so how about you stop pretending you haven't forgiven me for the map thing and tell me how I can help?

Strife: Well ... you could check out D'Meta's Crossing. That feels like a focal point right now.

Molly!Rook: On it. Bellara, gonna need you to make sure there's a boat.

Harding: I. Am. Going. WITH YOU. This time.

Neve: Rook, will you--? Wait. Where'd they go?

Molly!Rook: *returning laden with goodies* Okay! Bellara, Harding, some upgrades for you, I got to upgrade this spiffy knife I found - never was much keen on the staff, gotta say - and I couldn't afford the helmet but that's for later, I guess.

Neve: Where did you get all that?

Molly!Rook: Went to talk to Amylia. I found some quality salvage while we were out, and some other stuff to trade. Figured we could use the upgrade if D'Meta's Crossing is so bad we're not hearing from it at all. ...What, you thought I collected stuff just because it was shiny?

Neve: ...Pride prevents me from answering that. I ... don't suppose...?

Molly!Rook: Sorry, Neve. No one around here uses quite your level of kit. We ever make that eluvian take us back to Minrathous, I'll take you shopping; promise.

Bellara: You have a functioning eluvian?!?

Molly!Rook: If you don't mind that it only goes between Arlathan and a little piece of ... well, I'd call it real estate, but it's in the Fade, so...

Bellara: You guys live in the Fade?!?

Neve: You know, you tinker with elven artefacts so well, maybe you could get our eluvian working--

Molly!Rook: SURREAL ESTATE! That's what we have; surreal estate!

Bellara: ...I know you already have a Veil Jumper, but ... tinkerables and shinies and they are adorable and--

Harding: D'Meta's Crossing first. Job interview later.

[perplexingluciddreams]

Two times of big progress that I am proud of!

(Plus some amount of ramble and probably repetition… sorry!)

On Saturday, best friend came over to the house! And we did even more than just wave from bedroom door!! They come in and sit in my room (and lie on floor XD) and we chat and hang out. It was really really nice. Lots of nostalgia and love to hear a familiar safe person voice. And I missed their smell - it is the same.

At same time - have body reaction of tense all muscles and feel anxious. Like “protection mechanism”. Because years of feel scared and unsafe all the time around People. I have to work very hard to unteach my body those reactions. And teach that I am safe now and not danger.

It is harder to do, because of way brain makes connections and memories links. And relate certain people/places/sounds/voices/smells, etc. with memory of how body felt at that particular time.

Emotions I don’t recognise, so it is all about body feelings for me. Tense muscles all over, a lot sweaty, movements clumsy and impulsive, tummy uncomfy, squeezy chest and throat, fingers pick and pull and clench and never still, teeth clench need to bite, lick and bite lips, tongue curl up and always moving, etc. etc. etc.

The connections are so strong. It is hard to “override”.

Nevertheless, I am proud. I am very brave. I work so so hard to overcome brain barriers. And this is a HUGE achievement for that. BIG step in the right direction. I try so hard. Mum says I am brave and she is proud.

*******

On Wednesday, it is another Emily (support worker) day! I did very well and had a lot of time with her in my room. We played card (with Mum also) a bit, and watched some musicals bootlegs! Second half-ish of Heathers, and first half of Mean Girls!! Next week we will finish it.

I also did some sewing at the same time as watching (/listening). Emily say it is very neat and intricate! 😁

Here is messages I write to Mum after Emily leave: I am happy. Also tired and muscles sore from automatic body reaction of tense. But at the end I started to get focused almost fully on the watching, so I relaxed a tiny bit. Because I was not having full focus on just Person. It will take a long time to break down that body response… but it is all steps in the right direction! I laughed and smiled a lot - partly from anxiety but it is also funny and makes me happy. And also was relaxed enough that I had automatic happy stims, instead of such amount tense body that I am frozen.

What I mean in message about “focus on Person” is: because of anxiety and years of around unsafe bad people (and unsafe and environments in general), I have “survival mode” where brain puts all focus on just protect myself from Danger. Except now, it is no danger. But still, it makes me put all attention to the Person there (no matter who), and be so so careful about what I do, how I do it, careful not draw attention to myself, not “annoy” or “bother” (because that means bad consequences in past).

It is like fight/flight/freeze. I used to live in that state almost every second of my life.

When I finally feel relaxed/safe enough, my attention goes fully to the thing I watch/listen/read/do. And go into my natural mind bubble state. Only focus is on one thing, like mental tunnel vision. (It is not quite as intense as hyperfocus - that is more extreme). It means I forget People is there (sounds bad, but actually just means I am not in fight/flight/freeze response).

I think I probably seem less attentive/aware when I am not in “Survival Mode”. And maybe seem like less interaction. That is because I have tiny more control over body when I feel safe and relaxed. Less automatic body response, less unintentional reaction, less immediate impulsive etc. etc. More able to wait until I process - then true response.

It is hard to explain to people that some things that look like they “get worse” on outside, is actually sign of Good Stuff happen for brain/body. And if there is different behaviour now compared to childhood, that is not bad - in fact opposite!

Anyway, I am starting to get closer to that level of relaxed with Emily (and best friend). It will take a LOT more time, but I am proud of the progress.