#(also i decided to leave these without any context hahaha)

[vagueeyes]

INSIDE NO. 9 | S9E3 "Mulberry Close"

[projectcookiekingdom]

Mixer anon and I know you haven't responded to previous ask yet when I sind this in...the gentle stirring one...but also had idea for those who want context of why this one little anon is trying to get em to unite lol...

The story of the shy anon...who had a crush on affogato and always loved em from afar...planned to one day confess buuuut when they went to do so, they discovered him split in two...and/or saw one of the babysitters with the two halves and learned what happened...and swore from that day on that they'll unite the two halves to share their true feelings...no matter what it takes.

(Two things....1. yes I am a very big affogato simp...and 2. I think it would be interesting if the babysitters happened to find out about why this anon is so desperate to unite the two...like idk espresso stumbling upon their diary or finding y/n's confession note they were planning to give to affogato or whatever way you think he or, if you want, any of the other babysitters could see/hear to learn why y/n wants this so badly...and how the babysitters would react to discovering the true reason why y/n is going to such crazy lengths to unite the two halves lol!)

OMG ANON COOKIE LORE!!!

Anon Cookie has accidentally bumped into Espresso Cookie. As they apologize, their love letter that was suppose to be for Affogato Cookie fell on the floor.

Anon Cookie: Th-this is not what it looks like! I can explain!

Espresso Cookie: ...

Espresso listens to Anon's explanation. How they've loved and admired Affogato from afar and wanting to confess to him. Unfortunately, Anon has heard what had happened to their crush and rushed to the Vanilla Kingdom to find two halves of Affogato playing with the villagers and has vowed to help reunite them by volunteering and finding ways to turn Affogato back to normal.

Unfortunately, Espresso's feelings towards Anon turned even more complicated! He now feels like an overprotective brother who wants to keep their sibling away from their admirers. Without a word, Espresso left, thinking to himself that he needs to keep the twins with him at all times.

Meanwhile, the rest of the babysitters' reactions...

Cream Unicorn Cookie: Aww~ So Anon Cookie loves Affogato Cookie!

Caramel Arrow Cookie: Anon Cookie... you have bad taste in partners...

Clotted Cream Cookie: So that's why they've been doing this

Latte Cookie: Oho!~ Anon Cookie you should have told us!

Black Raisin Cookie: What???

Madeleine Cookie: Huzzah! It all makes sense now!

Pitaya Dragon Cookie: You- you...! PFT! HAHAHA! *laughing because they weren't expecting that*

Gingerbrave and friends: *confused and speechless*

The Ancients: *betting on each other on what happens next with Anon Cookie... It was Golden Cheese's idea*

Question: - Will Anon Cookie find a way to unite the two souls and confess their love for Affogato Cookie? - Will Espresso Cookie accept Anon Cookie for his "now adopted sibling's" potential love interest? - Just when did Espresso Cookie decide that Affogato Cookie is now his sibling? (Espresso Cookie: Just now! I've signed the adoption papers! *slaps the signed adoption papers on the desk and leaves with the twins*) Never mind, that was answered quickly.

Congratulations! You have unlocked: Espresso's Overprotective Brother Mode!

I know that was OOC, but this is an AU for a reason! Thanks for liking this AU and stay tuned!

[senblades]

I was just about to make this post and you beat me to it HAHAHA

You're absolutely right in this: it is essentially a question of whether the themes of persona 5 should apply to Joker through Akechi, or whether they should be able to apply to Akechi himself, too.

A bit of a mouthful of a sentance that only really makes sense with the context in my head, so I'll elaborate:

The themes of persona 5 can be argued at length, but it would be very difficult to refute this: Persona 5 is about the future that we, as individuals, carve for ourselves, in spite of what our circumstances may dictate we should be.

Trying to explain why I think this might end up long and rambly, but I'll try and condense it down with some literary analysis or something:

The Phantom Thieves have the power to change the minds of others. Joker often uses this to help his myriad friends across Toyko, using the power he has to help others when they cannot help themselves.

And, yet, outside of the main story quests, the PT don't use this power to get themselves out of simialr situations. Haru doesn't request her fiance be a target, Ryuji doesn't ask to change the heart of the new track team coach, Ann barely even has a bone to pick with Mika- they have a magic solution, and yet they don't use it for themselves in their confidant stories. (Futaba's case is a bit weird, because she submits a mementos request for the sake of her friend Kana rather than herself, so I think she still falls into the same category as the rest of the PT)

Now this pattern is fascinating, and also relates pretty heavily to Maruki's reality as well.

"Why didn't they just change x's heart?" "In Maruki's reality, everyone would be happy, though" These kinds of arguments, while true, are not the point this game is trying to make.

In the real world, our real world, there is no such thing as changing hearts, there is no such thing as a perfect reality. This will also be true for the Phantom Thieves, one the Metaverse is gone (excluding the spin offs. And the other spin off. And the other-), so the PT choosing to face the real world, without magic solutions at their fingertips, is asking the audience the question of "How are you going to stand up for yourself when it feels like everyone is against you? How will you carve the future for yourself, if you know you can't change the world?"

Bringing this back to Joker and Akechi; if Akechi is truly dead, this essentially makes Joker's "end of the game themes" a parallel to Maruki's: Maruki lost Rumi -in a sense- and took the easy, magic solution that was handed to him. Joker, meanwhile, in the true ending, loses Akechi and decides to forge on anyway, at Akechi's behest. All very neat and tidy, all very poignant, one last little "your reality kinda sucked, doc" to the newly-employed taxi driver.

If Persona 5 Royal was the last thing that Atlus ever made that's p5 related, I would agree the ending being ambiguous with Akechi's fate would be fine. That bow would be neat and tidy. It's not like there would be any more screentime to explore anything else, so why leave that door open?

But, Atlus loves making spin offs. So they have the screentime to do more with Akechi's character.

Let's face it- Akechi learning to live, being given a second chance, even after he was sure he would die, is incredible, thematically. The gain would be far more than the loss of Joker's "oh no, my friend, what will I choose," because:

a) I would argue that it doesn't negate the choice itself- Joker and Akechi didn't know what the outcome would be, so the gamble is still there. It's still, "Are you sure you want to face reality, when the outcome is uncertain? You could lose everything, are you sure?"

b) Joker's character isn't just the choice on Febuary 2nd. He's more than that, he existed before 2/2 existed- the choice still mattered, but even if it didn't, he's still there. However, Akechi dying would, as Dorked said, reduce him to a plot device to further Joker's character without room for more. Not entirely, of course, but as we see more and more story post-p5r unfold, it's like; why leave that potential untapped?

obviously people can have their own opinions about what happened in canon, we could argue at length, yadda yadda- but I will go to bat against the argument that Atlus bringing Akechi back would be a bad writing choice. Like, they could fuck it up, but persona 5 is not persona 3. The death does not matter more than the potential. "What will you do with your future?" is a fundamentally different question to "how do you live knowing you will die?"

so basically I want an Akechi spinoff atlus please- /j (but if they did I would buy it immediately)

I think one of my problems with the "Akechi dying is better for the themes of P5R and Joker's character growth and mourning" is like... Okay, but what about Akechi? That framing makes Akechi more of an object to Joker's character, IMO, whereas I think that him surviving in the max confidants ending has so much fascinating potential for Akechi having to live with his mistakes and move forward. He went in expecting to die, to have a simple final act of freedom... But I think him being forced to keep living, to face every day one at a time, to find ways to make peace with what he did and live in the world is just infinitely more compelling from a storytelling standpoint. For Akechi, I think it's a better outcome because it's lacking in elegant simplicity. Even if he lives, he was still willing to die for the sake of everyone's freedom. His survival doesn't erase that. It may "lessen" Joker's choice to reject Maruki's reality, but I think it also makes accepting that reality incredibly cruel, when a strong enough bond with him is enough to save his life and make a miracle happen. Mona describes the world itself as cognition. In P5's vanilla ending, he says it was the PT's bonds that allowed him to continue to exist as a cat in the real world. Given the significance of a maxed confidant making him appear in the postcredits, I believe that it is very simple to read his survival being because of that bond. That wish that they both shared, as confirmed by the Royal artbook. If you prefer exploring the grief and mourning, that's completely fair, but I think there are many ways to interpret Royal's themes, and Akechi living in a harsh reality where you can't escape your past but you can heal and do better is still very on point with what P5R is all about. Unlike P3, which centers more heavily on death, P5R simply touches on it as a part of its greater narrative. And even in P3, you can save a certain character from death via player choice and connections. So, yeah. :p

[astaroth1357]

Demigod MC Series: Ares

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena, Hades Pt. 2, Poseidon, Ares

Lucifer

He cannot overstate what kind of damage this mortal was able to do in their first few seconds in the Devildom...

The instant they got to their feet, they had managed to incapacitate Satan and knock down Beel. Lucifer himself tried to get between them and Diavolo but…

If he hadn’t moved his head, if he was standing just ONE INCH to the left… he wouldn’t have a head anymore. Barbatos was there to intervene, but had he not they could have probably taken out the Avatar of Pride and done critical damage to the Demon Prince himself in one strike...

Frankly, Lucifer prefers not to dwell on that moment... He's sure Ares must be proud of this one...

He pretty much treats the mortal like a live bomb afterward, if he can get away with not interacting with them at all, that’s what he’ll do.

He’s NOT scared of them... much... It’s just that they have a bullish and uncooperative attitude at best and since they know they can take any of them, they don't even consider him - Lucifer, the eldest demon brother - a threat...

But you know what the most frustrating thing is? They won't give him an inch of respect, but they'll always listen to Levi! Levi!!

Look, Lucifer knows he may not hold a rank among the Hell's army and he might not have been a major player in the Celestial/Demonic wars of the day, but he's still the strongest demons here, dammit!! 😡

Lucifer finds nothing is more embarrassing than having to ask Levi of all people to keep the mortal in line because he can't... Oh, the humiliation… He hopes they leave soon...

Mammon

At first, he thought they were scary. But in time he thought they were scary… and also pretty damn awkward.

Mammon wasn’t there when they more or less wiped out the majority of his brothers in the Conference Hall but when he finally showed up he'd never seen Lucifer look so pale… If THAT doesn't make you shit your pants, he doesn't know what will.

Naturally, he kind of toned it down on the "stupid human" stuff real quick after seeing that…

But here's the thing. After the two made a pact together, Mammon started to notice that the MC wasn't all that mean, they were just… violent?

He legitimately thought that they couldn’t stand him for a while until one day a guy on the street called him a dirtbag. The MC threw a punch right there! No questions asked, they just decked that guy!!

It was kind of touching… and messy. Very messy. Did he mention that they’re terrifying yet? 😥

As it turns out, the MC has apparently spent a lot of their life just fighting things and being asked to fight things so they're not very used to showing non-violent affection… 

It took him awhile, but he realized that their way of saying, "I like you," is, "I will attack your enemies." So now all he does when his brothers tease him is say, "I'm telling MC!'' and they'll stop immediately. It's great!! 😁

Considers them to be his bodyguard when he goes out to gamble in some… shadier places. Most of the time not even the bouncers want to take on the MC, ain't nobody getting paid enough to lose that many teeth…

Leviathan

Okay, so. It's not very obvious anymore, but he USED to be on the front lines of the war against demons in the Celestial Realm. He was in charge of battle strategies, he led armies, and even now he still holds the highest rank of the royal navy!

So leave it to the kid of a war god to sniff all that out about him, huh…? They appeared to know all about his record the instant they saw him and they actually seemed to respect him for it!

For context, this mortal tells pretty much everybody to shove off but any time he’s around they call him “Admiral” or “sir” and actually pay attention to what he says! He can tell it drives Lucifer insane, but honestly? It’s a bit of an ego boost. 😌

It’s sort of cute when they come to him asking for tactical advice… They get just as into it as he does with his anime and any time he points out something that they haven't seen before they get so excited it's like they're a kid watching a magic trick. HUGE ego boost. 😏

Speaking of anime, it’s hit or miss whether or not they can watch any of it. Anything with good fight scenes (and let’s be honest, not that much talking) they’re on board for. But if the hero and the villain talk to each other for like an episode before throwing punches then the MC will just rant...

MC: “The enemy is distracted... Why aren’t they attacking yet??”

Levi: “Because the villain killed the hero’s best friend and they’re-”

MC: “They could avenge their friend right now if they ended things right here!”

Levi: “MC, we’ve been over this... That’s not how plot works.”

MC: “And now he got away!! See?? They should have killed him when they had the chance!”

Levi: “*sigh*... Let’s just play some CoD.”

Satan 

The last thing he remembered when the “human” hopped out of the portal was a sharp pain to the side of the temple and Asmo wailing as he fell unconscious…

Yeeeeah, not great. And unfortunately for the mortal the Avatar of Wrath tends to hold a grudge… 

For a comparatively brief moment in time, all of Satan’s considerable ire had shifted away from Lucifer and to their new housemate. They found their bed, clothes, pillows, food, and even their toothbrush cursed!

… But Ares kids must be built from some strong stuff, because half of what he employed didn’t even faze them! He even put an explosive spell on their backpack and not only did they tank the blast, it didn’t hurt them at all!! It was like they’re damn near immortal!

Annnnd they kind of are. Apparently the MC had taken a dip in the River Styx at some point before and became nigh invulnerable…

Was it maybe a little terrifying to know that they had kidnapped a nearly invincible demigod on the level of Achilles? Yes. Did that also mean that they must have had a weakness too? In theory....

Satan honestly devoted a depressing amount of time trying to uncover the “Achilles’ Heel” of his new sworn enemy… until…

The MC was walking with him and Asmo to RAD one morning when they passed by a group of lesser demons harassing a small puppy. Now Satan may be more of a cat man, but NO ONE fucks with animals while he’s around.

He was right about to go over and rip those demons a new one but the MC actually beat him to it! Apparently, the second that they realized what was happening, they launched themselves forward and started bashing the abusers' heads into a wall!

… Live by violence, forgive by violence because in that very moment Satan decided they weren’t so bad after all. He even joined in!

Oh, Asmo gave them both shit all day for the bloodstains on their uniforms and the scratches on their… everywhere, but it’s not like either of them cared. Righteous justice had been served and it was glorious!!

100% would team up with the MC in some kind of vigilante “punish-all-animal-abusers” gig. They have but to ask. 😌

Asmodeus

Oh they TERRIFIED Asmo when they first showed up! How else was he supposed to react?? They brought down his brothers like they were made of cardboard!!

Though he had to admit that the confident, battle-ready look they had about them was sexy as hell, he knew better than to go bear poking! 😣 He avoided them like plague until they finally asked him for a pact.

And then he discovered something… something very unexpected….

They're actually adorable!!!

Okay, like, not in appearance (they look like they could pile drive Cerberus for Pete’s sake!) but he discovered that they have NO CLUE how to handle physical affection. Like zero!!

The first time Asmo actually got the courage to try and hug them he expected them to toss him off, but instead they just stood there like a malfunctioning doll, all flustered and confused… It was so cute!!! 🥰

From that point on, Asmo would take every chance he could to wrap his arms around them or kiss their cheeks just to watch them try and fail to handle it. It's more fun than picking on Levi!!

It took two months for them to finally attempt any kind of reciprocation and even that was adorable! They pecked him on the forehead without thinking about it then nearly passed out from the realization. Apparently, they had never felt like kissing anyone before so he was quite honored!

The brothers know that if the MC's looking too mad to listen to Levi, they just need to call Asmo. A nigh invincible warrior becomes a LOT less scary after you’ve cuddled them into submission! 🤭

Beelzebub

Beel didn't like them one bit, at least not at the beginning. They had managed to get past him and actually attack Lucifer which was NOT a great first impression on their part...

He honestly saw them as a threat for a while, but unlike the rest of his brothers he didn’t avoid them. He just kept an eye on them.... constantly….

Look. Beel is a big guy. Stealth is not his strong suit… If he's tailing you, you're probably going to know about it because there's a six-foot something behemoth in orange following you around while pounding down bags of chips. He's not very subtle…

That being said, after following them around for a while the two finally got to talking and he realized that they didn’t want to hurt anybody or anything. They were just acting on instinct before.

After making the MC promise not to hurt any of his family, they got on much better terms. Hell, he actually got them into fangol!

Beel's sport of choice is pretty much just ultra-violent American football so the MC took a liking to it instantly! After enough begging, the coach let them try out and they got onto his team immediately.

He likes having them as a teammate! They're very good at the game, uh... even if they take it a little too seriously…

They once tried to convince his teammates to decorate the team bus with "the helmets of their fallen foes." They're REALLY into the sport… But hey, they haven't lost a game since they’ve joined. It’ll be fine!... Probably.

Belphegor

Hahaha… He’s in danger… 😥

It took one look at this mortal to make him rethink the whole, “Trick the Human” plan… Since when have humans looked like that?? They could crush his skull under their heel!!

It took all he had in him to play it cool when they first met because his internal monologue was nothing but screaming… THIS was the "human" he had to use to get him out of there?? How in the WORLD was he going to kill them?!

Admittedly, he had to think about it for a while. Belphie's a clever guy… and a demon. So who needs an honorable fight, anyway? If he can’t win one-on-one, then he’ll cheat!

He waited until the MC got the door open and didn't attempt a frontal assault… No laughter, no gloating. He just waited for them to turn their back, claws ready to dig out their heart, and then-!

MC: "Do you really want to try that?"

The MC must have had some kind of danger sense, because they didn't even have to turn around to know what Belphie was doing…

MC: "Look. I like Beel and you're his twin brother… So I'm willing to let this slide. But if you really want to try me…"

MC: *looks over their shoulder with the glare of a bona fide killer* "I won't hold back."

That was... very persuasive.

The MC brought Belphie down to the others peacefully with his tail between his legs and honestly Lucifer was more relieved that he wasn’t a bloodstain on the floor than he was mad… They could have killed him sooo easily… 

They did, indeed, forgive and forget about the whole “attempted murder” thing, though Belphie was never quite able to shake off how frightening they were in that moment… He had nightmares for a while.

Thankfully, Asmo clued him in that the MC would melt into a harmless puddle of fluff if they got even the slightest bit of physical affection... Oh, the sweet payback he could dish out... It’s cuddle time. 😏

[white-lupus]

Spell Your Name in Songs

Okay, let’s do it!

Thank you @kolchekyourweapons for the tag and your magnificent choice of songs! First of all, English is not my first language so... if there is anything cringe, you know why. I’ll try my best! Also this is a good method to practice :)

To further complicate my existence, I’ve decided to make a list with video games songs ONLY. It's been hard to find them, I admit, but very funny.

1. Never fade away by P. T. Adamczyk & Olga Jankowska - Cyberpunk 2077

So sad and beatiful song. It reminds me that death is always the end (a peaceful but scary death), but the beauty is in what we do and leave along the way and the people we loved and who loved us. In the context of the game, I absolutely loved the relationship between V and Johnny and felt devastated at the end (no spoilers but what a bittersweet ending).

LINK: https://youtu.be/P4bKZT_Eg4A

I also love the hard rock version: https://youtu.be/AN1RJF55NXI

2. Under Stars by AURORA - Mass Effect Andromeda

The feelings are similar to the one before, but more hopeful. Also “how small I feel in the vastness of the universe”, if that makes any sense. Mass Effect & Dragon Age are my favourite games, all of them, and I can’t wait for the next ones!

LINK: https://youtu.be/5AWHALoCzPM

3.  Radical Mat (Ai Catch) by Goatbed - Dramatical Murder

Well, here we are with my obsession with NitroChiral games, especially Dramatical Murder. A great BL (boy’s love) visual novel, fantastic + enigmatic characters and a shocking + rich history, and a bit more positive than all the other games of the company. This song is pure caos, searching for something that doesn’t exist, feeling love and madness at the same time, missing a part of ourselves from the past but looking for a happy future.

LINK: https://www.bilibili.com/video/BV1Rx411S7VJ?share_source=copy_web

English version (but don’t try to understand it): https://youtu.be/gZC76aQqxuc

4. I Found a Way by First Aid Kit - Life is Strange 2

This song reminds me that we all have a beast inside and we need to be in peace with it, even letting it out from time to time, but without losing ourselves. And also be there for the people who need us (parents, siblings, friends, lovers, etc.). I know is not a popular opinion, but LiS2 is my favorite game of the three (I just love the road trips) and it has de BEST songs (this one and many others)! I cried a lot with this game!

LINK: https://youtu.be/tAt4dkl33dQ

5. All As One by Miracle Of Sound - Dragon Age Inquisition

Could not miss :D This song embraces the essence of the Dragon Age (and ME) franchise. A group of strangers, united by fate, can become a family and unite for a better future. It's a song for any revolution.

LINK: https://youtu.be/3MVqdYcbDp8

That’s all! I made it! I’m happy hahaha Oorah! Due to my current obsession, House of ashes and specifically Jalim, I dedicate this bonus track:

Till see you again by Unsecret - Tell me Why 

From Jason to Salim :)

LINK: https://youtu.be/ZIQQQTqnz-E

Tags (no obligation, and sorry if anyone has already been tagged):

@aydaptic

@proficientatfreakness

@miyakuli

@hopesallwegotleft

@deadlilmoon

[nikosomething]

Thought it might be fun to share my concepts for my Beautiful Sacrifice Series

My Concepts

The women of The Untamed are so amazing ughhh

This whole series happened thanks to @mdzswomen​ s event to honour the women of MDZS. When I read about it I noticed I had never tried to draw any of these amazing women and I knew I needed to change something about that.

My idea was to create a tribute to these strong women and their decision to sacrifice everything. My choice of characters was based on the week one prompts: Jiang Yanli, Wen Qing, Mian Mian and A-Qing. There were more prompts and women, but at that time I didn’t even think I’d manage to draw more than two of them let alone a conceptual series.

It all started with Wen Qing, actually, even though she was the prompt for day two. I knew I wanted a really tall format like a banner hanging from a ceiling (as they are often used in an honorary context) and parts of the character to stick out of its boundaries.

As you can see at first I experimented with Wen Qing fiercely staring into the distance. I tried another sketch with her eyes closed and that’s what inspired all other elements, really.

I decided that I wanted to depict one of the saddest, but also most beautiful and strongest aspects of their journey: the end. I’d call it their final moment, but that doesn’t quite cut it. Jiang Yanli saving Wei Wuxian might have been instinctive, but it wasn’t done to her, she chose to push him away, whatever it may cost her. Which is why I want to go for the phrasing of it having been their final decision. It was an action. And a strong one at that. MianMian chose to end her career, unwilling to tolerate those close-minded people. Wen Qing chose to face the Lanling Jin clan, knowing death was a very likely result. A-Qing chose to signal Xue Yang’s position knowing how dangerous he was.

I didn’t want to portray the scene too realistically, but rather in a symbolic way. For the Beautiful Sacrifice Series I wanted to focus on ease/liberation, sadness and beauty. I chose to portray the deceased with closed eyes and a peaceful expression (as they don’t regret their final act), which is why Mian Mian’s eyes are wide open with her determinedly looking ahead. I also included the last sentence we hear each of these women speak in the show before their (old) life ends.

WEN QING

The first character I had a concept for was Wen Qing. I knew immediately that I wanted to include fire as the cause of her death, but I also wanted to simplify it, to turn it more into a symbol than the actual scene of her being burnt alive.

(At least I imagine that that’s what happened, I may be wrong, though. We know they got her ashes. However, she may have been killed first and burnt later. Or they made it a spectacle to watch one of the last Wen die in flames. Very cruel, but perhaps some found it satisfying).

Wen Qing’s hair is floating in the upwind of the fire’s heat. The flames point to the last thing we hear her say. The background is red for the Wen and fades to black to make the fire shine bright.

The colouring process was quite challenging. I spent days on it, it was really giving me a headache hahaha, I just wasn’t satisfied with anything, the colour palette, the shading, the lighting (it’s the first time I tried a more fancy lighting situation). In the end I put some layers on multiply, which actually helped as I now know her robes were coloured too light, which meant there wasn’t enough contrast to the bright flames in the background.

I was really insecure about the whole piece. I am still stunned that Wen Qing is the drawing with the most notes of this entire series. Thank you so much, it gave me a lot of confidence and motivation to keep trying out new stuff!

JIANG YANLI

Immediately after I had scribbled my Wen Qing concept I knew what I wanted Jiang Yanli’s tribute to look like. Soft and tender, like she is. With Wen Qing it’s the powerful flames that make her hair puff up, resembling Wen Qing’s fierce personality. For Jiang Yanli it’s a gentle breeze that lifts a strand of her hair and carries the lotus leaves with it.

Her eyes are closed as she is deceased. A lotus flower is located where she received the lethal wound in her brother's stead. The flower symbolises her sect, family and fond memories (be it playing by the water with her brothers or making lotus root soup).

Jiang Yanli is wearing my favourite outfit of hers and not her mourning robes which she died in, because I think it captures the gentleness of her personality perfectly with the pastel Jiang colour palette (and it’s actually a layer of see-through fabric in the show).

I really enjoyed colouring this piece and while it was the second design it was the first one I did the lineart and colour for.

MIAN MIAN

I wanted to include an element of disillusion since she experiences that moment of humiliation which is followed by the realisation that the Jin clan doesn’t have her back and goes against her morals.

In the caption I wrote: She spoke up, she stood her ground and then she left all these narrow-minded people behind, choosing to walk alone rather than be silenced. She was the true spark amidst plain snow and she had to realise that the white peony she served was rotten. That day she escaped these golden robes, shedding this old skin which had gotten too tight, and stepped into the future that was hers and hers alone.

The white peony is the symbol of the Lanling Jin sect and while it shines brightly on the outside Mian Mian learned to see through the façade, recognising all the rotten parts she didn’t want to tolerate any longer. With her leaving the peony sheds its petals until it vanished from her life.

In my initial sketch Mian Mian is portrayed with the simple robes she wears underneath her Lanling Jin attire. Since I didn’t give Jiang Yanli her mourning robes and didn’t plan on drawing A-Qing in her white robes either it didn’t feel quite right, though.

The phrase “shedding old skin” and the image of a snake came to my mind. First I thought about experimenting with an actual snake or the pattern of its scales. In the end I settled on the Jin robes being that old skin and showed Mian Mian’s personal robes as the shiny new skin underneath. I wanted to show that she may be stepping out of the Jin sect, but that she is starting on a new, meaningful path.

(Drawing the Jin robes was quite bothersome hahaha. I took tons of pictures of me wearing a robe, but it was so slippery that I almost pulled a muscle while trying to make it look right in the photo. I spent an hour or so on it without any satisfying result and ended up drawing it from imagination after all.)

While I loved my sketch the execution was a p-a-i-n. Colouring her personal robes almost drove me mad and the face, the face was such a struggle. I think I redrew it four to five times. I still think I could have done better, but after days of trying to fix it I decided that perhaps I need some more months of practice to get her expression right (so I might re-draw her in the future).

A-QING

I didn’t think I’d enjoy the A-Qing piece as much as I did!! After having drawn three artworks I was worried that I may have exhausted all possibilities / ideas and that it would end up being a repetition of what I had already done.

I rewatched her episodes for inspiration. I watched all significant episodes of all the women I drew for that matter haha. The last thing we hear her say is directed at Song Lan, actually, which in retrospect surprised me. I could have sworn she talked to Xiao Xingchen last. Or Xue Yang (like in the novel). But nope, it’s our poor poor Song Lan.

Given that A-Qing died the youngest (I think?) I wanted to make her look younger than the other women, so I kept her head round and used pastel colours on her face.

I like moths (unless they eat my clothes or settle down in my food). Moths seek the light and in some way Xiao Xingchen was that light in A-Qing’s life. With the glow they symbolise A-Qing’s soul leaving her body through the lethal wound Xue Yang inflicted on her.

I placed one moth on her mouth as she has been muted by Xue Yang. The new moon in the background stands for the eternal darkness Xue Yang cast on her as moonless nights are the darkest.

For A-Qing I wrote in the caption: She couldn’t protect the man who had taken her in and cared for her. But she stayed. She became a lonely guardian, watching out for the remains of her lost brother in the silence and darkness which were forced upon her. Until that fated day when she gave her life so that the culprit who had shattered this tender soul would be brought to justice.

I finished A-Qing’s artwork way quicker than expected. The robes were tricky with all the torn spots and loose thread, but the rest came easy. I had lots of fun with the moths and the moon. And the glow. I love that cool light blue glow.

THANK YOU

All in all I really loved drawing this series and I thank you for your support, for your wonderful tags which make me smile and giggle and for every reblog and like! Whenever I have a hard time I revisit your tags and find strength within them.

[unholyeverything]

A letter to the prince.

I had like a v soft moment today, okay. And then this idea just happened and I needed to write it down. I also didn’t feel like editing it, I just wrote as the thought sprung to my head, so just treat it as a drabble. I started writing and didn’t stop until it was done. I am soft now. Like a lil ball of cotton flowing in the wind~ Please catch me and put me into a jar or I will disappear and fly away again~

Pairing: DiavoloxLucifer Explicit: no, just soft feels Word Count: 2k Summary: Diavolo searches for Lucifer one day to hand him some papers. He goes to Lamentation only to not find him in his office. Deciding to place the papers on his desk and leaving he is stopped by finding a latter addressed to him on the table.

Lord Diavolo was on his way to the House of Lamentation. He forgot to hand Lucifer some of the papers he needed to sign and he thought that instead of calling him to retrieve them he would just go over and hand them to him in person.

Arriving there he knocked on the big entrance door, only to be greeted by Asmodeus who was just about to go out. "Oh~ Hello Lord Diavolo, what are you doing here this evening?" the strawberry blonde asked. "Hahaha, I forgot to give these papers to Lucifer and I thought I should just hand them to him." Their Lord laughed out. "Of course, he should be in his studies, have a nice evening!" Asmodeus chirped happily and made his way out of the door. Diavolo went inside and made his way to Lucifer's study. It was strangely quiet in this house today, most of the brothers must be out, Lucifer would be pleased and in a good mood he thought to himself. He knocked on the door and entered. He had a bad habit of not waiting to be called in, the consensus lying on him at least knocking before storming in. The door was unlocked but Lucifer was nowhere to be seen. He looked around the room a bit, disappointed of not seeing his stern lover this evening. "Oh well he must have gone out too… " he said with a pout on his lips. With a sigh he made his way to Lucifer's desk. He came here after all, so he'll just leave the papers here and give him a message about it. He was slouching on his way to the big table in front of the window and plunked the documents on the table.

That's when a letter laying in the middle of it caught his eye. It's white paper glowing in the moonlight coming through the window a beautiful red wax seal closing its contents. Diavolo carefully picked it up, gently turning it inside his hands. "Who would Lucifer write such a beautiful letter to?" he wondered. His eyes widened looking at the back of the letter, seeing his name written there. He pulled out the heavy velvet covered chair from underneath the wooden table and sat down, still cradling the letter in his hands. "Why didn't Lucifer give this letter to me this morning? This clearly is his handwriting…. " he struggled mentally as to what to go. Guilt for wanting to open it without his knowledge, but still being so curious about its content and why it hasn't reached him already, it being addressed to him. Lucifer would never hold back any important documents from him and this looked important with how much care it was sealed, with how much precision his name was written on the envelope. He started fumbling with the opening of the letter. "Should I really be doing this.. without asking him first… " he thought. He put the letter down on the table again, resting his elbow on the armrest of the chair leaning his head into his hand. He just looked at it for some more time before picking it up with one hand again, lifting it up to let the light shine on it. "It is addressed to me after all, isn't it?" Having made his decision he sat up again, and looked around for something to gently open the seal with. He looked around and under the desk to search for a letter opener. The only thing out of the ordinary that didn't look as pristine as always in Lucifer's office was his trash bin overflowing with crumpled up papers. He switched on the desk lamp, finally having found the opener. Calmly  and attentively using it to peel off the wax seal. Lightly putting down the opener before holding the envelope in both of his hands. He shook his head one last time before pulling out its contents.

Two sheets of paper neatly folded. The handwriting on them was stunning. All evenly, written with so much grace. He folded the paper apart and leaned back into the chair. His hands started shaking slightly, his thumbs caressing over the paper, his mouth gaping open once he started reading.

My dearest Diavolo,

In what context would Lucifer address him like that? Enthralled by the letter he couldn't stop reading the cautiously drafted letters.

I am usually unable to express what I truly feel towards you, my body not allowing me to speak to you in person, this is why I decided to write this letter to you. I don't know at which number of attempts I am currently finding myself a, but even with all the time in the world to collect my thoughts I still can't seem to word my true feelings towards you.

Diavolo let his hands rest on the table, looking up on the ceiling. It was to try to prevent the tears already collecting in his eyes from falling out and ruining this work. He needed some time to collect himself after he grasped what this letter was about. He continued reading.

Ever since the day I first met you, still being an angel I was mesmerized by your presence. You never once left my head. I was always thinking about the demon prince who told me he would never lie. Why should I trust a being made of darkness with his words. I thought about this for so long.

Then on the day my brothers and I fell from grace, I ended up in front of you again. A strong leader that had established his place and a being abandoned by everything it ever owned and cared for. Just like in our first game of chess you played me again. Knowing I'd never trust your help out of generosity you never offered me that. You thought of a way I would accept and trust you. Knowing me so well just from our one prior meeting. Was I in your head too? You knew I would only accept a trade for my sister, one that couldn't have been of little value to me, my Pride preventing me from doing so. You knew that immediately, asking for my eternal loyalty, me only noticing that now. You earned my full trust this day, requesting for payment for your gratitude immediately instead of holding it against me for the rest of my life. I was so lucky to ever get to meet you. Following you, staying by your side, not ever feeling alone again, you were always there, listening to me even if it was senseless rambling, always watching out for me. I was filled with warmth for the first time since my creation. A warmth coming from deep inside of me. One I was never able to tell you about, one of the things I truly regret, truly wish I was able to convey to you.

Diavolo's eyes were glistening from the water collecting in them. "Oh.. Lucifer… " he whispered out, tightening his grip around the papers. Stopping immediately after he was aware of what he was doing to these cherished pieces of paper. He couldn't stop reading.

You became the light of my life, just like that. Someone that always told me I could come to him when I was stressed, when I was angry, when I was tired, someone that would always comfort me, no matter the reason. Even though I wished for it so much, being held in your arms not having to think about anything, just feeling you close to me just being able to be at piece my Sin did not allow for it. Telling me I won't be perfect, telling me I won't be able to keep up with you, be important anymore if I should ever dare show some weakness in front of another person, let alone the person the most important to me. The only one being able to hold up to my highest standard, the only one I hoped would love me too, at least reciprocating a fraction of what I'm feeling towards him. Though I don't think I would ever be able to ask you in person. To get myself to be close to you. To allow myself to be close to you even though there is nothing I wish for more. I don't even know if I'm capable of handing this letter to you one day, it shall rest in my study until I mustered up the courage to do so. I still don't know if it is even able to convey my true feelings as they are too deep to word out it appears. I just wish for you to never leave my side, to not take this warmth away from me, to continue giving me praise, to continue holding onto me, to continue for you to be yourself as I love every part of it more than I will ever be able to show to you, more than I would ever be able to thank you for, more than I ever dreamt of loving someone before.

Diavolo was just staring at the words written on those sheets of paper. His gaze completely fixated on every single line of them as he read them again and again. "Lucifer… oh my Lucifer…" he mumbled out. Not noticing the noise levels raising in the House of Lamentation.

There was loud yelling, doors being slammed shut, an intense "Mammooonnn!" was heard throughout the hallways, but it all sounded to distant to him. He was sucked into the world of this letter, the words not letting go of him.

He was still sat there, holding the papers, the desk lamp giving off a faint glow, the moon lighting up the room, shining on him, making it look like he was glowing. The shiny particles of dust dancing around the grand room celebrating the light. He didn't notice the door into Lucifer's study opening.

Lucifer entered his private chambers with a sigh, looking at his D.D.D. while entering, not noticing someone sat on his desk the moment he entered. Exhausted he turned around to close the door behind him. Then he looked up seeing Diavolo sat behind his desk, back lit by the full moon. They looked each other straight in the eyes and before Lucifer was able to say anything he noticed the papers his Lord was cradling in his hands. His shoulders slumped down in defeat. Embarrassed with and undefined unexplainable anger and frustration raising inside of him he looked down to the floor. This letter wasn't supposed to reach him, not yet. No matter the amount of times  he tried writing it, it wasn't right. What would he think of him now. What should he do now. He felt defeated and weak, not knowing how to feel ,what to say. He just left his arms loosely hanging on his sides, not being able to lift his head, a faint blush spreading all across his cheeks. He just stood in the middle of the big room, feeling empty and alone having all of him exposed like that.

Diavolo just looked at the tall man, he truly looked alone inside his big office. Not daring to look up to him after their eyes met the first time. He slowly pushed back the heavy chair and got up. Calmly he started approaching him slowly lifting up his arms. "Oh Lucifer….." Standing right in front of him Diavolo wrapped one of his arms around his waist placing the other one on the back of his head, cradling his hair a little before pulling him completely into a tight hug, guiding the raved haired to rest his face on one of his shoulders. "Lucifer, I love you so much, so much more than you can imagine, so much more than I'm able to give to you." He spoke quietly. Once he felt his partner wrap his arms tightly around him he allowed himself lean his head against his. Tightening the hug even further, trying to give him more of his warmth, letting him feel more of him. They just stood there embracing each other, the light connecting the two shining on them like a spell connecting them forever. Dust still dancing around them. Enjoying their moment of just being together, quietly, calmly, softly enjoying their wordless connection.

[personinthepalace]

MBS Trailer Analysis

Hey guys, as you probably could tell, I am SUPER excited about the MBS tv series! The lovely anon who pointed me in the direction of the trailer asked me to give my thoughts on it and well...I decided to do a shot by shot analysis of the trailer! (even though I definitely have other things I need to do haha). This is most likely going to be less of an analysis and more of me rambling and pointing out stuff haha. Apologies in advance for any grammatical errors. Also I’m sorry if I get any book facts wrong! (my memory isn’t what it used to be) Without further ado, here is my analysis! (below the cut because boy is this going to be long haha)

Ok before we begin, here’s the trailer in case you haven’t seen it/ want a refresher: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atFYUbwMYo4

Ready? Let’s begin

Nomansan Island!! I wonder if this is the view from Nomansan or if that’s Nomansan in the distance. Either way looks like there’s a lot of trees

Mr. Benedict’s house!! Definitely not how I imagined it. I thought it would be taller

You can see a manhole(?) near the bottom of this image. Later in the trailer we see Milligan come out of it. So I’m guessing this is the show’s verison of “the cellar across the street”

A secret room behind a bookcase! I’m guessing this is in Mr. Benedict’s house? It’s hard to see who’s pushing the door though- I wonder who it is

A Stonetown bus! I remember reading somewhere that the show has a 50s/60s vibe, and I definitely see/feel it

Reynie!! Of course the first person we actually get to see in the trailer is Reynie :) It looks like he’s in a restaurant? At night?? By himself??? Reynie what are you doing all alone?!?

Ah yes The Emergency. It’s scary how it feels revelant today...It’s kind hard to see but below “The Emergency” it says “Anxiety Index At Yearly High”. Yikes Mr. Curtain really knows how to create fear doesn’t he?

YES the BEST best-selling book series ever!! Also loving that pattern in the background

Another shot of Reynie! That sign says that that’s Bishop Building. I’m guessing Reynie is going to take one of the tests. Correct me if I’m wrong but I’m pretty sure that it’s the Monk Building in the book

Look they’re social distancing! The test takers! Can you spot Reynie? (He’s in the second column from the left, four desks back). I wonder if that’s Rhonda sitting in front of him? She has a white dress. Hard to tell if she has green hair

Number Two! And it looks like she’s wearing boots!!  I love it!

Let’s have a close up on Reynie :) Ahh he look so precious! And he has the outfit!!

A close up on Number Two! I’m loving her outfit. And look there’s a matching yellow pencil sharpner on the desk! There’s the “no talking” sign. And are those rocks behind the glass??

These kids are dressed up all fancy. It looks like they’re going to a formal party or piano recital. Not about to take a test

And here’s Reynie not all dressed up. Also is that a watch on his left wrist??

“Will be excused.” That’s a change from the book. In the book she said “escorted”. “I’m sorry, did I say executed? I meant to say escorted.”

I realize it’s a good thing that the show is going to be on Disney+ (more exposure and all that). But at the same said I’m kinda sad that MBS is a Disney property now 

Now this is interesting. These kids are playing tetherball. I’m guessing that this is at the Institute. Except I thought the kids there spend most of their time watching TV? I wouldn’t expect them to be exercising. Is PE part of the curriculum?

A morse code telegraph machine! Very cool especially since in the book, they learned Morse code using a flashlight

And it’s Sticky and Kate!! It looks like Sticky still has some hair, so he’s not completely bald. I’m mourning the loss of Kate’s long blonde hair, but the short brown hair looks good! Loving Kate’s beanie. And look she’s still wearing her red striped shirt! (underneath the yellow jacket) Ahh they both look great

Constance!!! I’m loving her pigtails. I wonder what’s she doing though. It looks like she’s on a platform? I thought that wasn’t introduced until the later books

Kate walking on her rope during the floor test! And look you can see her bucket!! Okay I’m kinda disappointed with this scene because in the book the floor is suppose to have blue, black, and yellow rectangles. But here it looks like they are all squares (and instead of blue, it’s white). And Reynie is suppose to realize that the floor has rectangles so he can simply walk across. How is he going to walk across the floor if it’s full of squares??

Another shot of Reynie! I think he’s at the Institute, but I have no idea what that thing is. Anybody have any ideas? 

Also Mr. Benedict has been narrating this whole time, and at this point he says “And our criteria for approval may be considered...mysterious.” Cue title credits!

Hmm okay Reynie got a stamp of approval- most likely from one of the Ten Men when they arrive at the Institute? Wonder who Pierce and Veronica are. Will they be important to the story? Also it looks like Veronica is crossed out?

Number Two is taking them to see Mr. Benedict! Huh so it looks like the three older kids are about the same height. I wonder if Kate is still a year older than Sticky and Reynie

Mr. Benedict’s study!! Look at all of those books!!! And a yellow couch- it matches Number Two’s outfit :)

So many books!!!

Ahh look at them!!! I love their outfits! They’re accurate to the books! Also loving those green lights in the background

How are all of these books not falling hahaha

Another shot of them. Is that Kate’s rope? Or the handle for her bucket? Also I would like to take the time to say that I love the music (the violin!)- it really fits the vibe

“I’m the aforementioned Mr. Benedict.” And here’s Mr. Benedict!!! He really loves dramatics doesn’t he. He’s definitely younger than I thought he would be. Also he’s not wearing green plaid. That makes me sad :( Wait does Mr. Benedict still have narcolepsy on the show?

We have an Emmy Award Winner on this show!

And we have our first look at Rhonda!!! She’s taller than I expected haha. But I love her outfit!! And look Number Two has a stopwatch hanging from her dress, most likely from timing the kids during the maze test

IT’S THEM!! IT’S THEM!!! Breaking the fourth wall and looking very confused (or angry in Constance’s case haha)

“You all possess a quality that is lacking in our society” - ok it is time to meet the members of The Mysterious Benedict Society!

“Reynie, your intuitive understanding of human nature” -omigod Reynie comforting Sticky!!! Ahhh my heart! I can’t wait to see this scene in the show. I have a feeling that they expanded on Sticky’s indecision about joining the mission, and this scene here is part of it. Ah I can’t wait to see more of their friendship! (Also it seems like the show is pronouncing Reynie’s name like “Rainy”. I personally had been pronouncing it like “Winnie”. TLS pronounced his name as “Winnie” as well)

“Sticky, your reservoir of knowledge” - Sticky at a competition! It looks like he has the same amount of hair as he does when he meets the mbs, so I think it’s safe to say that Sticky did not shave his head when he ran away

Sticky won $10,000 on a game called Buck Buck Goose -wow! Also we see Constance watching Sticky on TV. The room is all yellow, so maybe it’s Number Two’s room? But why is Constance watching a video of Sticky?

“Constance, your defiance of conventional thought patterns” -Constance ripping up that piece of paper, tossing it, and walking away- omigod I love it hahaha. Ahh Constance is a drama queen and I love it! Also I think this is her red raincoat- it’s very cute

“Kate, your uncanny feel of how things go together” - Kate!! It looks like Kate is removing a vent? So I’m guessing this is during the maze test. And it looks like she has her Swiss army knife!

“What is it that you all have in common?” -I just noticed that Mr. Benedict’s beard seems to be neatly trimmed. So I guess he doesn’t have shaving problems? And I’m still mourning the loss of the green plaid haha

And we have our first look at Milligan!! I personally never imagined him with a beard or long hair. But ahhh I can’t wait to see his reunion with Kate on the show!! (I will definitely be sobbing when that happens)

“I see fear. And bad fashion” “You’re very unpleasant” - I can tell I’m going to love Kate’s and Constance’s relationship on the show already hahaha. It’s hard to see in this screenshot, but Reynie’s nodding in agreement with Kate’s statement haha. Also Constance’s facial expressions are perfect!

A full view of Kate and her bucket! I am so happy that Kate has her bucket!! It looks like Sticky is in the back. Maybe this is a scene from them taking the tests? I wonder if those two other kids are important to the story

I have many questions about this shot. Where are they walking to? Is that the Institute? Is Reynie looking back to the mainland where Mr. Benedict and everyone else are?

Okay so the sign originally says “Room(?) At The Wheel” (I can’t make out the first word). Who is painting that anyway? An ordinary brainwashed citizen? A Helper?

They’re leaving for the Institute! Number Two with all those yellow suitcases haha. And is that Milligan standing on the side of the car? So one car takes the kids to the Institute. The other one (the one that Milligan seems to be standing on) is the car the rest of the adults will take so that they can camp out in the woods to keep an eye on the Institute

It looks like there are Helpers in the background!

Constance walking behind Reynie with her umbrella is adorable

Kate, Reynie, and Sticky pulling the bell rope! I don’t think they ever rang the bell together in the book, so I’m curious to see the context of this shot

Is this the boat in which they escape the Institute?

Sad Mr. Benedict :( I’m guessing he’s berating himself for putting the kids in danger

Rhonda and her fun driving! Btw the sign says “Who’s watching out for you?” I love that the presence of the Emergency seem to be everywhere in the show

Kate changed to a blue striped shirt, while Sticky changed to an orange shirt. Constance and Reynie seem to be wearing the same outfits

Crossing the bridge! Ten Men (sorry the Recruiters) are supposed to be stationed at the bridge entrance, right? Those people don’t look like they’re wearing expensive suits...

What are they watching?

And here is our first look at Mr. Curtain! Like with Mr. Benedict, this is definitely not how I pictured Mr. Curtain haha. He doesn’t have his sunglasses. I hope he has his wheelchair in the show

What room is this? Is that the Receiver behind Mr. Benedict?

I’m guessing this is the scene where they meet Mr. Curtain for the first time

What is happening with this split screen? Are Mr. Benedict and Mr. Curtain talking to each other? Also Mr. Benedict reveals in the narration that Mr. Curtain is his twin brother (I wonder why they decided to reveal such a big twist in this trailer). So do the kids know beforehand that Mr. Curtain is Mr. Benedict’s twin? Or will they all be shocked like in the book? Though I don’t think Reynie can make that comment that Mr. Curtain’s nose looks like a cucumber haha. Also I take back what I said about mourning the loss of Mr. Benedict’s green plaid- you can see it in this screenshot!

My facial expression right now is exactly like Kate’s in this shot. What the heck is that?

Okay this just might be my favorite scene from the trailer- Reynie hugging Miss Perumal!! Ahh my heart!!! I love this so so much!!!

Number Two with a stick! She is ready to attack! I think this is from the part when the Recruiters break into Mr. Benedict’s house

What machine is this? Is this from the final battle against the Whisperer??

Ooh no poor Sticky is scared!!

Again I want to say that I am disappointed with how they interpreted this part of the book. Reynie is suppose to be able to casually walk aross the floor but instead he’s leaping???

Milligan!!! Even though the beard is unexpected, it looks like they got his outfit right! Seems like this is Milligan leading the kids out of the underground passage

The main four! Looks like they’re sending out a Morse code signal to Mr. Benedict and the others. Though where are they standing?

This looks like the official title card! I love that the font looks similar to the one used on the cover of the books. Again this not how I pictured Mr. Benedict’s house haha

“So you need a bunch of smart orphans to do a deadly mission. I get it.” - have I mentioned that I love Constance and her facial expressions??? Also her sass!! I wonder if Constance is still two in this? She is at least a lot younger than the rest of kids. Will the other kids be surprised with her age reveal (if there’s an age reveal at the end). Wait will Kate give Constance piggyback rides in the show?? I would love to see that

The kids are like deadly???

“Ideally not deadly”- he is so done haha

Phew and that’s the whole trailer! I would like to note that the only people we hear speak in this trailer are Mr. Benedict, Number two, Constance, and Kate. Also S.Q., Martina, Jackson, and Jillson did not appear in the trailer. I hope that they will be in the show though (I think Martina for sure will be in it).

Anyway, if you read this far- thanks for reading my ramblings! I would love to hear your thoughts about this trailer as well :)

[snickiebear]

yo nadia <3333 i'm bored in my online classes and u reblogged the questions thingy at the right time lmao, so get ready: 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 17, 23, 24, 28, 30!!!, 34, 38, 39, 40 (the intimacy of being understood) (imma stop here lol) (also i'm sorry u're not feeling well, ily and hope u'll feel better soon!! <33333)

ELE ILY. (and thank you, i’m stayin home today cause,,, yeah. i appreciate you sm.) you’re the literal best, i adore you. 

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

The first fanfiction i read was for The Lunar Chronicles when I was like 11?? and it was 100% on accident and it scarred me because it was a hardcore porn one with a period kink and i was like WHAT IS THIS??? OH MY GOD???? LMAOOOOO i didn’t pick it back up until i was 13-14 and really got into the Fairy Tail fandom. I still reread my favorites on ff.net cause i love them. 

As for writing, I wrote a horrible, terrible x-men fanfiction when I was twelve. (my friend still brings it up and REFUSES to delete it so it still gets comments and views, that shit HAUNTS ME ELE.) then tried again for Fairy Tail, posted like two chapters before taking it down cause i wasn’t really feeling it. And then I posted The Intimacy Of Being Understood and here we are. 

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

OMGG okok 

@murd3rm1ttens ‘s The Problem How Time Works IF YOU HAVENT READ THIS YOU GUYS NEED TO HOP ON IT ASAP. MITTEN’S WRITING SO SO SO SO GOOD. SAKURA AND INO ARE TOTAL BADASSES. KAKASHI IS A SIMPPPP. ITS SO FUCKING GOOD. 

@mouseymightymarvellous ‘s We Were Screaming In Color (Only A Possibility) yes, yes I KNOW. i always point into mousey’s direction but i WILL always advocate that everyone reads her fics, they’re literally so beautiful???? i just happen to be rereading WWSIN rn 

@safelycapricious ‘s Shaking Up And Breaking Down series. I found this like?? idfk but i’ve been raving about it ever since. ALSO CHECK OUT THEIR FICS IN GENERAL. 

fuck i have more than three but also check out @ambivalens999 ‘s Masks

i do wanna make a fic rec thing where i just rav about my favs,,, might do that later or sum

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

Omniscient third person. I don’t like it. Like I can understand that it can be a little hard to stay in one person’s perspective but, in my opinion, if you can, it shows how disciplined you are as a writer. Plus, i just get so confused when I go from A’s thoughts to suddenly what B is thinking about A. 

When writers use ‘ ‘ instead of “ “. When writers put thoughts in ‘ ‘ instead of just italicizing them. It’s small things but like they just bother me sO MUCH. most of the time i can ignore it and try to enjoy but other times i just dip. 

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

@espoir-et-reves !!!!! THEIR SHISAKU FICS ARE SO SO SO SO SO GOOD. And they have a warring states one going on THAT I AM SO OBSESSED WITH. 

@writer168 idk if they’re really “underrated” but THEY HAVE SUCH GREAT FICS ON AO3. Like theres an AU with sakura, kiba, and shino that i reread constantly because it just. is. so. fucking. GOOD. and they posted a new one that i’m YELLING about. 

@eggtoasties okay they only have 2 in the naruto fandom (one shisaku which is still ongoing) BUT THEIR WRITING STYLE IS SO NICE?? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I still go back and reread their shikasaku one cause UGH i can’t get enough. I love it. 

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Fandoms: Naruto, Soul Eater, The Old Guard, ATLA

Parings: KakaSaku/ShikaSaku/ShiSaku/MultiSaku, SoMa, Joe X Nicky, Zukka

Character: SAKURA. I will read anything with Sakura as the main character and her being a fuckin badass or becoming a badass. I love her.

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

aha.. haha.. well. I check my email like three times an hour. its the first thing i check in the mornings too. I’m literally a whore for praise and literally eat up feedback like its going out of style. I also reread a lot of my stuff because i make so many mistakes and spelling errors, or the spacing is weird oR SOMETHING. plus, literally any and all comments make my day, i go back and reread them cause they just make me feel so tingly and warm like “wow. this person enjoyed the fic/my writing enough to tell me. thats HUGE!”

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

Angry, feral, bloodied, morally gray women. They aren’t bad guys, they’re probably the good guy, but that doesn’t mean they cant be fucking raging at the world with raw knuckles and blood on their teeth. I just love an angry woman who struggles with her emotions and just has so much inner conflict but that doesn’t take away from her character or badassery, it adds to it. 

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

The fake dating or miscommunication troupe. LIKE GUYS JUST TALK. AND TELL EACH OTHER OMFG. the entire like obliviousness of “nah they dont like me” while the They holds their hand and kisses their cheek. MOFO WHAT. it makes me so impatient and like mad HAAHHAHA. its probably because i’m a pretty confrontational person so seeing stuff like that just “cmon bro, USE YO HEAD.”

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

I have yet to receive a negative comment! Which i was really surprised about tbh. As for deadlines or pressure to update, i just kind of do whatever. I do set goals, but i set them flexible enough that hey, if i can’t do it, that’s okay. 

I have a lot of mini goals, like “i want to write this chapter and get it done this week” and then the large goal is “FINISH BY END OF MAY” so i have time. 

Actually, now that I think on it, the entire pressure to update thing is probably why i’m waiting until I have all of OL&W written to post it weekly,, cause well. I wouldn’t wanna leave you guys waiting as I tried to write and work out the next chapters and stuff, you know?

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

AAAAAA YOU KNOW I LOVE THESE AHAHAHAH

Have you seen the way the dead dance, World Breaker? They roar, half mad and starving. Do you not wish, do you not hope to see them twist and bend and dance to your will?

Shikamaru snarls, looking behind his shoulders to where his Shadows lay. “Patience.” He spits. “Is of the essence, Things of Ancient. Know your place as the dark you are.”

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

None of my experiences match up to anything I write tbh,,, probably the only thing that is me in my writing is maybe the emotional turmoil? I’m pretty emotionally and mentally mature because from a pretty young age i started forming my own opinions, started looking into the world around us and being like “dude what the fuck this is not what disney advertised”. Then i started talking (read: arguing and debating) with my dad about a lot of it. So, like emotions are kind of hard for me. Like i’m pretty good at controlling them or understanding them, but still. idk its hard to explain ig.

Like the weight of stress, the anger, the sadness. It’s kind of therapeutic to write. Cause i don’t know how to put those feelings to verbal words so writing them really helps. 

As for my readers’ image? Probably like some kind of hunched over figure typing away in the dark with a maniacal grin on their face. I honestly don’t know AHHAHAHA but it is fun to think about. I think they’d see me as someone with potential but a lot of room to grow and someone who is imperfect but in a charming way LMAOOOO

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

I’m gonna be real honest. Its probably like a 2. I’m a bit of a control freak so I almost always go in chronological order, my writing is pretty linear. Unless, i get bored and jump to one of my fav parts. It's pretty much i sit down, i open the doc, read over my notes and just start writing. 

It’s a little boring to explain AHAHAHA but once i get into the groove of things its really fucking great, I can like feel myself in the world, I can feel what i want the characters to, i love it. I catch myself mouthing the words as i type too, which i find hilarious.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I rather like how raw my writing is sometimes. Which might sound really vain, but i do like the way i word things or describe things. I love juxtaposition and repetition, or making a good ole circle back to some minute detail that wouldn’t stand out until i repeat it at the end and you’re like “omg” AHAHAHAHA.

Like those little poetic snippets or certain wording i just sit back and go “damn thats kinda good nadia! go you!’ HAHAHA  

40. How did you come up with the idea for The Intimacy Of Being Understood?

AAAAA this fic is like my first child, my pride and joy LMAO

so the idea initially came when i was reading some fic, idk if it was even naruto, but i was like “i don't like this, but i do like the rain symbolism.” And I knew i wanted to write something kind of slow paced, something a little sad and angsty, but would show KakaSaku slowly but surely falling in love.

Idk if you’ve noticed but a lot of my fics, the pairings don’t change each other dramatically. They accept each other as they are and then they grow with together. Like that acceptance is something i just love writing, its so subtle, it isn’t something you declare. Its simply “I am going to love you. I am going to love you despite your flaws and faults. I am going to love you unconditionally because I know you, I understand you, and there is nothing you could do to drive me away.” 

The fic kind of wrote itself after that first scene. I kept going back to the rain, go being ghosts, and resurrection, and the small epiphanies one gets. I wanted to focus on each character’s growth with each other. They didn’t find light in life because of each other, but with each other. And i think that’s my favorite thing about that fic. 

I wanted something raw and real and just something beautiful. I’m actually really proud of it tbh. Would i go back and rewrite/edit it? Oh of course! I’d do that with every single one of my fics, but i’m not gonna cause i think its in its rawest form right now. :))))

ask me shit plz

[watch-grok-brainrot]

MDZS Novel Translation: Lotus Pod Extra Part 1 (Chinese, English, plus translator ramblings)

General notes: MXTX’s use of commas annoy me so much. I ended up breaking up really long sentences into smaller ones for 1) my own sanity, 2) my sense of sentence structure, and 3) aesthetics. Probably grammar too… but i’m pretty bad at grammar so idk.  So you’ll see chinese followed by the translation. then notes in brackets if there are any... hope it’s easy to follow? i went through and tried to format them differently too... You can also just go read the english only version if you want... it’s in another post. i can link it in the comments. 

as per the other post, thank @merelhyn an her rabid love of this extra for me translating it. hahaha! also, she did a once-over before i posted and caught some mistakes of mine. :D 

Keep reading if you want and lmk what you think. ^_^ Feel free to ask me questions or yell at me about places where i can improve. Discourse is good for learning! 

云梦莲花坞。

Yunmeng Lotus Pier. 

试剑堂外, 夏蝉鸣噪；试剑堂内，一片肉体陈横、不堪入目。

Outside ShiJianTang (Sword Testing Hall) were the summer cicadas’ noisy calls; inside ShiJianTang was the unbearable sight of bodies strewn across the ground.

十几名少年打着赤膊, 一片片贴在试剑堂内的木板地上, 时不时翻个身，仿佛十几片烤得滋滋作响的煎饼，发出垂死的咕哝。

Over a dozen youths with bare chests stuck themselves onto ShiJianTang’s hardwood floor, periodically flipping themselves over, as if they were over a dozen sizzling JianBing (Fried Bread), letting out mutterings of the dying.

[Note: technically it says bare arms, but with their hanfu, if the arms are bare, so are the chests so I’m translating it that way to make it make more sense.]

“热……”

“Hot……”

“死了……”

“Dead…… ”

魏无羡眯着眼，迷迷糊糊心道：“像云深不知处那么凉快就好了。”

Wei Wuxian thought blearily to himself with barely open eyes, “If only it could be as cool here as it is in Cloud Recesses.”

身下那片木板又被体温同化了, 于是他翻了个身。恰巧, 江澄也翻了个身，两人擦了个边, 胳膊搭着了腿, 魏无羡立刻道：“江澄，把你胳膊拿开, 你像块炭。”

The hardwood flooring under him was once again warmed by his body heat, so he flipped over. Coincidentally, Jiang Cheng also flipped over, the two brushed against each other, arm and leg making contact. Wei Wuxian immediately said, “Jiang Cheng, move your arm, you’re as hot as a coal.” 

江澄道：“你腿拿开。”

Jiang Cheng said, “You move your leg.”

魏无羡道：“胳膊比腿轻, 我拿腿更吃力, 还是你拿胳膊吧。”

Wei Wuxian said, “Arms are lighter than legs, me moving my leg takes more effort. It’s better for you to move your arm.”

江澄怒了：“魏无羡我警告你不要太过分, 闭嘴不要说话, 越说越热！”

Jiang Cheng became angry: “Wei Wuxian, I’m warning you to not go overboard. Shut your mouth and don’t speak. The more you talk, the hotter it gets!”

六师弟道：“你们不要吵了行不行, 我听你们吵都觉得好热, 汗都流得更快了。”

Sixth-shidi (younger male disciple) said: “Can you two not argue? Just listening to you argue makes me hotter. I’m sweating even more now.”

那边已经一掌劈来、一脚蹬去了：“快滚！”“你滚！”“不不不, 你请滚！”“别客气, 你先滚！”

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian already started fighting -- a palm strike here, a kick there: “Hurry up and piss off!” “You piss off!” “No no no, please, piss off!” “Don’t be so polite, you piss off first.”

众师弟怨声载道：“要打出去打！”“你们一起滚了好不好啊求求你们！”

All the younger disciples complained in unison: “Take the fight outside!” “You two can both go piss off. We’re begging you!”

魏无羡道：“听到没有, 大家让你出去。你……放开我腿，要断了大哥！”

Wei Wuxian said, “Did you hear that, everyone is asking you to leave. You… let go of my leg, it’s going to break, Da-ge!” 

[note: the use of da-ge here is like when you ask someone to cry uncle. Wwx is crying for mercy.]

江澄额头青筋暴起, 道：“明明是让你出去……你先松开我胳膊！”

A vein on Jiang Cheng’s forehead popped up. “Clearly they’re telling you to leave…. Let go of my arm first!”

这时，外边的木廊上传来一阵裙·摆曳地的沙沙响动，两人顿时闪电一般分开。旋即，竹帘被掀起，江厌离探头往里瞄一瞄，道：“呀，原来你们都躲在这里。”

At this time, from the wooden corridor outside came the sound of a skirt rustling over the floor. The two immediately parted like lightning. Soon, the bamboo curtains parted, Jiang Yanli stuck her head in, glanced around, and said, “Aah, so you’re all hiding here.”

众人连声道：“师姐！”“师姐好。”有容易害臊的忍不住双手交叠遮胸，躲到角落里去了。

Everyone said in unison: “Shijie!” “Hi Shijie!” The ones who became embarrassed easily couldn't help but cross their arms over their chests and hide into a corner. 

江厌离道：“今天怎么偷懒不练剑啦？”

Jian Yanli asked: “Why are you all being lazy today and not practicing your swords?” 

[Note: being lazy here is made up of the characters “steal” and “lazy”. It implies shirking responsibilities to be lazy. JYL is likely saying this to tease the boys. Also, there isn’t a subject in the sentence. The you is implied but that doesn’t work in english so i added “you all” to indicate plural you.]

魏无羡诉苦道：“这么毒的日头，校场晒死了，去练剑要脱一层皮。师姐不要告诉别人。”

Wei Wuxian complained, “Such a treacherous day, the sun shining over the practice grounds would kill us, practicing swords would make us shed a layer of skin. Shijie, don’t tell other people.” 

[Note: 毒 means poison/toxin but i feel like it would be weird to describe a day as such. You can also say someone is very 毒 and it would mean cruel/malicious. Somehow that didn’t work well in my head either… so i went with treacherous. Translator’s artistic license, ok?]

江厌离仔细端详了他和江澄一下，道：“你们两个是不是又打架啦？”

Jiang Yanli carefully assessed him and Jiang Cheng and asked, “Did you two get into another fight?”

魏无羡道：“没有哇！”

Wei Wuxian said, “We didn’t!”

江厌离的身子也钻进来了，她端着一盘东西道：“那阿澄胸口的脚印是谁踹的？”

Jiang Yanli stepped into the room carrying a plate and asked, “Then who kicked the footprint onto A-Cheng’s chest?”

魏无羡一听留下罪证了，连忙去看，果然有。可已经没人在意他俩有没有打架了，江厌离手上端的是一大盘切好的西瓜，一群少年蜂拥而上，三两下便分完了，坐在地上相对啃瓜。不一会儿，瓜皮就在盘子里堆成了个小半山。

Wei Wuxian, upon hearing he left evidence, turned to look -- it was really there. But no one cared whether the two of them fought anymore for Jiang Yanli had brought a large plate of watermelon slices. The group of youths swarmed in, quickly divided the melon between them, and sat down on the floor to gnaw on the melon. Not long later, the melon rinds piled into a small hill on the plate. 

魏无羡和江澄无论干什么都是要比一比的，吃个西瓜也不例外，横刀夺瓜，损招不断，斗得旁人避之不及，连忙给他们腾出了一块空地。魏无羡一开始吃得还卖力，吃着吃着，忽然“噗”地笑了一声。

No matter what Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng did, they would end up competing. Eating watermelon was no exception. Slashing to seize the melon -- an endless volley of moves between the two made others hurry to avoid them and scramble out of the way, leaving an empty space. At first, Wei Wuxian was wholeheartedly eating watermelon, but as he ate, a chuckle suddenly burst from his lips. 

[Note: 横刀夺瓜，损招不断 was a weird thing to translate. By character: 横 horizontal 刀 blade 夺 sieze 瓜 melon，损 damaging 招 move/blow 不 not 断 broken. Alternate translation because I really can’t decide: Crossing blades to seize the melon, trading endless blows. Because 招 is a weapon neutral wuxia unit of a martial movement and i honestly have i no idea how to translate it!]

江澄警觉地道：“你又想干什么。”

Jiang Cheng asked suspiciously: “What are you thinking about doing now?”

魏无羡又拿了一块，道：“没！你不要误会。我没想干什么，我就是想起了一个人。”

Wei Wuxian grabbed another piece of melon and said: “Nothing! Don’t misunderstand. I didn’t think about doing something, I just thought of a person.”

江澄道：“谁？”

Jiang Cheng asked: “Who?”

魏无羡道：“蓝湛。”

Wei Wuxian said: “Lan Zhan”

江澄道：“你没事想他干什么，想念罚抄的滋味不成？”

Jiang Cheng asked: “Why are you thinking about him? Do you miss the feeling of being forced to copy lines as punishment?” 

[Note: 没事 is no business but in context it means when you have no reason to. So maybe the line can be translated as Why are you thinking about him without cause? But that’s not very colloquial in english even if it is in chinese so I cut it.]

魏无羡吐籽，道：“想他好玩儿呗。你不知道，他可有意思了。我跟他说，你们家的饭菜太难吃了，我宁愿吃炒西瓜皮也不愿吃你家的饭，你有空到我们莲花坞来玩啊……”

Wei Wuxian spat out some seeds and said, “I’m thinking about how much fun he is. You have know idea, he’s so interesting. I said to him, your family’s food is not delicious at all, I would rather eat sauteed watermelon rind than eat your family’s food, you should come visit Lotus Pier when you have time…... ” 

话音未落，江澄一掌拍歪他的瓜：“你疯了叫他来莲花坞，给自己找罪受吗？”

Before the sound of Wei Wuxian’s words ended, Jiang Cheng slapped his watermelon askew: “You’re crazy inviting him to Lotus Pier, are you trying to make yourself suffer?”

魏无羡道：“你急什么，我瓜都差点飞了！我就说说而已，他当然不会来了，你啥时候听说他自己一个人跑出去玩儿过没有。”

Wei Wuxian said, “Why are you so anxious, my melon almost went flying! I was just saying that. Obviously he would not come. When have you ever heard of him going somewhere on his own for fun?”

江澄义正辞严道：“先说好，我反正拒绝他来，你不要乱请。”

Jiang Cheng spoke sternly, with a sense of righteousness, “Just so we’re clear: I will refuse his visit no matter what, don’t invite him willy nilly.” 

[先说好 means to agree upon beforehand, so i think “just so we’re clear” is a reasonable colloquial translation of the sentiment.]

魏无羡道：“没看出来你这么讨厌他啊？”

Wei Wuxian said, “I couldn’t tell you dislike him so!”

江澄道：“我对蓝忘机没意见，可万一他真的来了，我娘看了别人家的孩子要是有话说，到时候你也别想好过。”

Jiang Cheng responded: “I don’t have an issue with Lan Wangji, but if he were to really come, my mother might have something to say about other people’s children, and then you wouldn’t have a good time.”

魏无羡道：“没事，来了也不怕，真要是来了，你就跟江叔叔说让他跟我睡，我保证不出一个月就能把他逼疯。”

Wei Wuxian said, “No biggie, even if he showed up, I’m not scared. IF he really came, you can just tell Uncle Jiang to let him sleep in my room. I promise I’ll drive him insane in less than a week. ”

江澄嗤之以鼻：“你还想跟他睡一个月？我看不出七天你就被他捅死了。”

Jiang Cheng snorted, “You want him to stay with you for a month? I think he’ll stab you to death in less than seven days.”

魏无羡不以为然道：“怕他嘛。真要打起来他还不一定是我对手呢。”

Wei Wuxian retorted, “Who’s scared of him? If we really fight it’s not certain he would be an even match for me!”

众人连连附和起哄，江澄口里讥笑他厚颜，但心里其实知道魏无羡所言不假，并非自吹自擂。江厌离坐到两人中间，道：“你们在说谁呀？姑苏交到的朋友么？”

Everyone cheered and hollered at Wei Wuxian’s statement. Jiang Cheng sneered at Wei Wuxian’s thick skin but in his heart, he knew Wei Wuxian’s words were true and not mere boasts. Jiang Yanli sat between and asked, “Who are you talking about? Is it a friend you made at Gusu?”

魏无羡高兴地道：“是啊！”

Wei Wuxian said happily, “It is!”

江澄道：“你这‘朋友’当得太好意思了。你去问蓝忘机，看他肯不肯要你。”

Jiang Cheng said, “You claim ‘friend’ so easily. You should go ask Lan Wangji, see if he is willing to claim you.”

魏无羡道：“快滚。他不要我我缠死他，看他肯不肯。”转头对江厌离道，“师姐，你知道蓝忘机吗？”

Wei Wuxian said, “Piss off. If he doesn’t want me, I’ll just cling to him. See if he’s willing or not in the end.” Wei Wuxian then turns to Jiang Yanli, “Shijie, do you know of Lan Wangji?”

江厌离道：“知道呀，就是大家都说很俊很有本事的那位小蓝二公子吗？果真很俊么？”

Jiang Yanli said, “I do know of him. Isn’t he the young second young master of Lan that everyone says is very handsome and very talented? Is he really so handsome?”

魏无羡道：“很俊的！”

Wei Wuxian said, “Very handsome!”

江厌离道：“比你呢？”

Jiang Yanli asked, “Compared to you?”

魏无羡想了想，道：“可能稍微比我俊一点点吧。”

Wei Wuxian pondered for a bit before saying, “Maybe the tiniest bit more handsome than me.”

他两只手指比了很小很小的一段距离。江厌离一边收盘子，一边莞尔道：“那看来是真的很俊了。交到新朋友是好事，今后没事的时候你们可以互相串门玩了。”

He held up two fingers separated by the slightest amount. Jiang Yanli smiled as she gathered the plate, “Looks like he must really be handsome. Making new friends is a good thing. When you have time in the future, the two of you can visit each other for fun.”

闻言，江澄喷瓜，魏无羡连连摆手：“罢了罢了。他们家那地方，饭又难吃规矩又多，我可不去了。”

Hearing that, Jiang Cheng spat out his melon. Wei Wuxian waved his hands defensively in front of his face, “No, no. Their home has disgusting food and too many rules. I don’t want to go there” 

[摆手 is a type of hand waving in front of your face that’s basically screams no in this case. I chose to describe it rather than translate it since the visual is very stark in my head.]

江厌离道：“那你可以带他来玩嘛。这次就是个好机会，怎么不请你朋友来莲花坞一起住一段时间？”

Jiang Yanli said, “Then you can bring him here. This time was a good opportunity, why didn’t you invite your friend to Lotus Pier to stay with us for a while?”

[technically jyl said bring him to play but the idea of play in chinese is more broad. It include sight seeing, touristy things, little kids playing, etc. I chose to not include it since it’s awkward in english to translate that. The implication is to show lwj a good time in yunmeng. ^^]

江澄道：“阿姐你听他瞎说。他在姑苏可招人嫌了，蓝忘机哪肯跟他回来。”

Jiang Cheng said, “A-jie, don’t listen to his nonsense. At Gusu he was really detested. How could Lan Wangji be willing to come back with him?”

[the chinese for 听他瞎说 means literally listen to his blind talking. Translating as nonsense made more language sense?]

魏无羡道：“什么话！他肯的。”

Wei Wuxian said, “What are you saying! He’s willing.”

[什么话 is literally what + speech/language. It’s not like language as in watch your language so i translated it as “what are you saying” to convey the annoyance.]

江澄道：“醒醒，蓝忘机叫你滚，听到没？记得吗？”

Jiang Cheng said, “Wake up. Lan Wangji told you to get lost, did you not hear? Remember?”

魏无羡道：“你懂什么！他虽然表面上叫我滚，但我知道他心里一定很想跟我到云梦来玩，想得不得了。”

Wei Wuxian said, “What do you know! Even though on the surface he told me to get lost, but I know, in his heart, he must have really wished to come visit Yunmeng with me. He must want it a lot.”

江澄道：“我每天都在想一个问题，你到底是哪里来的这么多自信？”

Jiang Cheng said, “I think about a question every day: from where do you get so much self confidence?”

魏无羡道：“不要再想了，同一个问题想这么多年还没有答案，换我早就放弃了。”

Wei Wuxian said, “Don’t think about it. You’ve been asking the same question for years without an answer. If it were me, I would have given up a long time ago.”

江澄摇了摇头，正待摔瓜，忽听一阵气势汹汹的脚步飞驰声，一个森寒的女声远远传来：“我说这人一个个的都躲到哪里去了，我就知道……”

Jiang Cheng shook his head and was about to throw his melon, when suddenly there was the sound of overbearing and fast footsteps. A chilling female voice drifted in from the distance: “I was wondering where everyone hid to, I just knew...”

众少年脸色大变，纷纷夺帘而出，恰好撞上虞夫人从长廊那头转来，紫衣翩翩，却气势汹汹，丹目含煞着实骇人。一见这一群少年个个打着赤膊赤脚，不成体统、不堪入目的模样，虞夫人的脸好一阵扭曲，两条细眉更是扬得就快飞起。

The color drained from all the youths’ faces. They scrambled to leave through the curtains, coincidentally catching Madam Yu turning the corner of the corridor. Her purple clothing fluttered freely but her intimidating aura and blazing eyes were truly terrifying. When she saw the group of youths all bare armed and bare footed --  improper and unsightly -- Madam Yu’s face twitched for quite a while. Furthermore, her two elegant eyebrows rose to the point of almost flying. 

[Technically, the paragraph starts with their complexion changed, but in this case it’s out of fear so i used english colloquialisms in my translation. The ‘blazing eyes’ per character are red eye holding killing-energy so blazing eyes was what i went with. The last description of Madam Yu’s face was a weird thing to translate. I first translated it as her eyebrows flew up but I LOVED the way it was worded in chinese here and did my best to preserve it. Also, the wording is her thin eyebrows but it’s a positive description so i switched it to elegant due to cultural context.]

众人心道“坏了！”，魂飞魄散，拔腿便跑。见状，虞夫人终于反应过来了，大怒：“江澄！给我穿上衣服！赤条条的野人一样，像什么鬼样子！让人看见了我脸往哪儿搁？！”

Everyone thought “This is bad!”, horrified, they ran. Seeing this, Madam Yu finally came out of her stupor. She was livid. “Jiang Cheng! Put on your clothes! You’re as naked as a wild man! What sort of shit appearance is that? If other people were to see, where would I put my face?”

[Uh… what a clunky translation on my part. Hahahaha. 魂飞魄散 literally means your spirit flies and your soul scatters… so horrified. ^_^  像什么鬼样子 “is like what ghost appearance?” but ghost here is more a crude derogatory emphasis… so i translated it as shit? idk...  and i was pretty literal about the “where would i put my face”… but hopefully people understand that’s an expression of shame? If not, uh… it’s an expression of shame! Like saving face… but she would lose hers so hard she wouldn’t know where to put it? Cultural things! XD]

江澄的衣服就扎在腰间，听母亲骂了，忙不迭囫囵一套。虞夫人又骂道：“你们呢！阿离在这儿没看到吗？一群死小子在姑娘家面前脱成这副德行，谁教你们的！”

Jiang Cheng’s clothing was tucked around his waist. Hearing his mother’s reprimand, he quickly covered himself. Madam Yu added angrily, “You guys! A-li is here, did you not see? A group of damn boys stripped bare in front of a girl! Who taught you to do this?!”

当然，想都不用想就知道是谁带的头。所以虞夫人下一句照例还是：“魏婴！我看你是要死！”

Of course, it was without question who was the leader. Thus Madam Yu’s next sentence was, per usual: “Wei Ying! Do you want to die?”

魏无羡大声道：“对不起！我不知道师姐会来！我这就去找衣服！”

Wei Wuxian said loudly, “I’m sorry! I didn’t know Shijie would come! I will go look for clothing now!”

虞夫人更怒：“你还敢跑，给我滚回来跪下！”说着一鞭子就出去了。魏无羡感觉背上火辣辣得一痛，“哎哟”大叫一声，险些打滚。这时，虞夫人耳边突然有人幽幽地道：“阿娘，你吃不吃西瓜……”

Madam Yu became even more angry. “You dare run away? Bring your ass back here and kneel!” With those words, her whip flew out. Wei Wuxian felt a searing pain on his back and screamed, almost falling and rolling on the ground. Suddenly someone said faintly by Madam Yu’s year, “A-niang, do you want to eat watermelon...”  

[So 给我滚回来跪下 literally means roll back here and kneel. However, as 滚 is very crude language, i tried to match that in translation. FYI: 滚 is what lwj says when he tells wwx to piss off or get out or whatever. The text specifies wwx screams “aiyou” but it wasn’t really worth translating imo since it’s an onomatopoeia that doesn’t add anything to the text.]

虞夫人被不知道从哪里忽然冒出来的江厌离吓了一跳，就这么一耽搁，那群小贼全都无影无踪了，气得她转头去拧江厌离的脸，道：“吃吃吃，你就知道吃！”

Madam Yu was started by Jiang Yanli appearing out of nowhere. The slight interruption allowed the group of rascals to disappear without a trace. Madam Yu angrily turned toward Jiang Yanli and pinched her cheek saying, “Eat. Eat. Eat. All you know is eat.”

江厌离被母亲拧得眼泪都流出来了一点，含含糊糊地道：“阿娘，阿羡他们躲在这里消暑，我自己找来的，你不要怪他们……你……你吃西瓜吗……不知道是谁送的，不过很甜。夏天吃西瓜，解暑消火，又甜又多汁，我给你切好……”

Jiang Yanli was pinched so hard by her mother that tears trickled out. She mumbled, “A-niang, A-xian and the others hid here from the heat. I came here on my own looking for them. Don’t blame them. Do… Do you want to eat watermelon? I don't know who sent it to us, but it’s very sweet. Eating watermelon in the summer dispels heat and decreases your inner fire. It’s sweet and juicy. I can cut it for you...”

[note, in traditional chinese medicine, there is a balance between heat and cooling. You get sick if you’re off balance. One example of such sickness is heat stroke. But sometimes it’ll also manifest as chapped lips or other skin flare-ups and discomfort. So saying the watermelon dispeals heat and decreases inner fire is a way to say the watermelon helps rebalance you. I don’t know much about TCM but my mom likes it and yelled about it at me a lot as a child… so i’m just explaining what i’ve picked up.]

虞夫人越想越气，再加上天热口渴，居然真被她说得想吃了，如此一来……更气了。

The more Madam Yu stewed, the angrier she became. The summer heat caused her to be thirsty which made her actually want to eat the watermelon. As such, she became even angrier. 

那头数人好容易逃出了莲花坞，冲向码头，跃上小船。好久都无人追出，魏无羡这才放了心。他使劲儿摇了两下船桨，感觉后背还疼，扔下桨给其他人，坐下来摸了摸那片热辣辣的皮肉，道：“青天白日冤，咱们讲讲道理，明明大家都没穿衣服，为什么骂只骂我，打也只打我？”

The group of people escaped Lotus Pier with great difficulty, charged towards the docks, and jumped onto a small boat. When, even after a bit, no one chased them, Wei Wuxian relaxed. He rowed the boat a couple times and felt his back was still hurting. Handing the oar to someone else, he sat down to touch the stinging flesh. “I’ve been wronged in broad daylight. Let’s talk about this logically. Clearly no one was clothed, but why am I the only one to get reprimanded? Why am I the only one to get hit?”

江澄道：“一定是因为你不穿衣服的样子最辣眼睛。”

Jiang Cheng said, “It’s definitely because the way you look while not wearing clothing burns people’s eyes the most.”

[note, i translated 最辣眼睛 as burns people’s eyes the most. The characters are literally most, burn (as in peppery hot burn of chili), eyes. I thought about translating it as eyesore… but couldn’t quite convey the “most” part of the sentiment so this is what you get. Also, it comes up later.]

魏无羡看他一眼，突然纵身一跃，扎入水中。其余人也响应号召一般，纷纷下水，瞬息之间只留了江澄一个人在船上。

Wei Wuxian glanced at him and suddenly sprang up and plunged into the water. Everyone else, seemingly responding to a signal, also entered the water. In a flash, only Jiang Cheng remained on the boat. 

江澄发觉形势微妙不对，道：“你搞什么鬼？！”

Jiang Cheng noticed the suspicious situation and said, “What are you trying to pull?!”

魏无羡滑到船侧，猛地一掌拍去。船只整个地翻了过去，在水里很有分量地一沉一浮，肚皮朝天。魏无羡哈哈大笑，跳上船底，盘足坐了，对着江澄摔下去的那一侧水喊道：“眼睛还辣吗江澄？应个声，喂，喂！”

Wei Wuxian swam up to the side of the boat and unleashed a sharp palm strike. The boat capsized: hull towards the sky and bobbing up and down in the water with vigor. Wei Wuxian laughed heartily, jumped onto the bottom of the boat, and sat down in a lotus position. He yelled towards the water on the side of the boat where Jiang Cheng fell in, “Are your eyes still burning, Jiang Cheng? Give a response! Hey! Hey!”

[The words used to describe the capsized boat was “belly skin towards the sky”. I wanted to share that because I love the imagery. Here is the burning from the spicy eyesore that showed up and made me go back and retranslate that sentence. I hate word play in translation… but also like trying to figure out a way to make it work!]

喊了两声，无人应答，只有咕噜咕噜一串水泡冒上来，魏无羡抹了把脸，奇怪道：“怎么这么久还没上来？”

After yelling twice and getting no response except for a string of gurgling bubbles, Wei Wuxian wiped his face and wondered, “How come he hasn’t popped up after all this time?”

六师弟也游了过来，惊道：“不会淹死了吧！”

Sixth-shidi also swam over and exclaimed, “He can’t have drowned, can he?”

魏无羡道：“怎么可能！”正要下水去拉江澄一把，忽听背后一声大喝，他“哎哟”一下，给人从背后一把推下了水，船只又湿淋淋地翻了个面。原来江澄给他掀下水后潜下水底绕了个圈，绕到了魏无羡背后。

Wei Wuxian said, “How could he?” He was about to jump into the water to drag Jiang Cheng out when he suddenly heard a loud cry from behind. Wei Wuxian yelped as he was shoved into the water. The boat, dripping wet, was flipped right side up. Turns out, after Wei Wuxian flipped Jiang Cheng into the water, Jiang Cheng swam underwater around the boat and ended up behind Wei Wuxian.

两人各偷袭得手一次，开始在水中绕着一条船警惕地打转，其余人则扑腾着水花，散开在湖里看热闹。魏无羡隔船叫嚣道：“你抄凶器算什么，有本事把桨放下，咱们空手比过。”

After the two of them each successfully landed a sneak attack, they started cautiously circling the boat. The others splashed and treaded water as they spread out over the lake to watch. Wei Wuxian hollered from the other side of the boat, “Why are you holding a weapon? If you’re skilled, put the oar down and we can fight hand-to-hand.”

江澄狞笑道：“你当我傻，我一放你就抢过去了！”他手上运桨如风，打得魏无羡连连退避，众师弟嗷嗷叫好。魏无羡左支右绌，百忙之中，抽空辩白道：“我哪有这么无耻！”

Jiang Cheng smirked, “Do you take me for an idiot? As soon as I put it down, you’ll take it!” He wielded the oar with unrelenting ferocity, forcing Wei Wuxian back. All the younger disciples cheered. Wei Wuxian found himself helpless as he dodged left and right. In his frenzy, he made time to plead his innocence, “I am not that shameless!”

[左支右绌 is a compilation of left and right and the word for insufficient. It basically means he couldn’t do anything against JC’s attacks. 百忙之中 - from within a hundred busy moments which i translated as frenzy, 抽空辩白 -- made time to plead innocence. ]

四周嘘声一片：“大师兄，你也有脸说这句啊！”

From all sides came the hissing response, “Da-shixiong, do you really have enough face to say such a thing?”

接下来，众人陷入了混乱的水战，什么大慈大悲杵、百毒蛇蝎草、夺命喷水箭——魏无羡一脚踹了江澄，好容易趴到船上，“呸”地吐了一口湖水，举手道：“不打了不打了，休战！”

Afterwards, everyone became involved in a chaotic water fight. Vicious attacks were used without hesitation. Finally, Wei Wuxian kicked Jiang Cheng and with great effort flopped onto the boat. He spat out a mouthful of lake water, raised his hands and said, “No more fighting. No more fighting! Truce! ”

[Note: the author said they got into a water fight and then listed these: 大慈大悲杵 (infinitely compassionate club) 百毒蛇蝎草 (hundred poison of snakes and scorpions grass) 夺命喷水箭 (life stealing water shooting arrow). I really don’t think there was a way to express these? But wanted to added in the notes as… uh flavor text? Also “infinite compassion” can probably be thought of as putting people out of their misery… so death. Pfffft. Seriously, this is how lots of wuxia fight scenes go. The author throws out poetic(-ish) phrases that kinda have something to do with the theme of the battle and then you’re expected to GUESS what that looks like. Once in a rare while they’ll talk about specific movements, but this is how it goes usually….And if you’re wondering, IMO, the compassion club is someone thwomping people with an oar, the poison grass is probably someone using their clothes/lotus stems/other water plants as whips and/or rods, and the last one is just people splashing each other.]

众人都顶着满头绿油油的水草，打得正酣呢，忙道：“为什么不打了，打呀！打呀！落了下风就求饶？”

Everyone’s heads were covered in bright green water weeds. They were fighting to their heart’s content! Thus, they retorted, “Why should we stop? Fight! Fight! Are you begging for mercy because you’re losing?”

魏无羡道：“谁说我求饶了，回头再打过。我是饿了打不动，先弄点东西吃。”

Wei Wuxian said, “Who said I’m begging for mercy? We can have another fight later. I’m hungry and don’t have energy for fighting anymore. Let’s get something to eat first.”

六师弟道：“那咱们回去吗？晚饭开饭前还能吃几个西瓜。”

Sixth-shidi said, “Are we going back then? We can have a few watermelons before dinner starts.”

江澄道：“现在回去，除了鞭子可没别的给你吃。”

Jiang Cheng said, “If we go back now, the only thing we’ll get to have is a whipping.”

[Note, getting a whipping here is literally eating whips… so there’s word play in terms of eating watermelon and eating whips… which is why i used the word have… a bit awkward? I dunno. If you have thoughts let me know. ]

魏无羡却早有主意，宣布道：“不回去。我们去摘莲蓬！”

Wei Wuxian was ready with a plan. He announced, “We’re not going back! We’re going to go pick lotus pods!”

江澄嘲道：“是‘偷’吧。”

Jiang Cheng said mockinly, “You meant ‘steal’, right?”

魏无羡道：“每次又不是没补钱！”

Wei Wuxian said, “It’s not like they don’t get paid later.”

云梦江氏在这一带时有照顾附近人家，除水祟不收取报酬，方圆数十里，不说几个莲蓬，哪怕是划一片湖专门种给他们吃也是乐意的。每次家中少年出去吃了人家的瓜、捉了人家的鸡、药晕了人家的狗，事后江枫眠也会派人一一补上。至于为何非要锲而不舍地偷来吃，倒不是流氓纨绔作风，无非少年人好玩儿心重，贪那一点被人笑笑骂骂追追打打的趣味罢了。

Yunmeng Jiang Sect often watched over the local people, removing water ghouls without asking for anything in return. Within a radius of several tens of lis, the people were happy to let them pick a few lotus pods. In fact, the people would be perfectly happy to designate a section of the lake to grow lotus just for them. Everytime the youths were out and ate people’s melons, caught people’s chickens, drugged people’s dogs, Jiang Fengmian would send someone later to pay the people. As to why they were determined to steal, it wasn’t because they were scoundrels but because they craved the fun experience of someone chasing them and hitting them while laughing and yelling. 

[Li = ~500 meters/1/3 of a mile. Also, this paragraph is basically ‘boys will be boys’… >.> poor jyl. I wish she got to do this too!! It sounds like so much fun! Also, really? WWX drugging dogs? Forgive me if I don’t believe it. Maybe the other boys did it for him?]

众人上了船，划了好一阵，到了一片莲湖附近。

Everyone got on the boat, rowed for a while, and ended up by a stretch of lake full of lotus. 

好大一片莲湖，青翠翠的。碧叶层层叠叠，小的如盘，大的如伞。外边的低一些疏一些，平平铺在水面上；里边的高一些挤一些，足够遮掩载人的船只，但若是看到哪里一群莲叶挨肩擦头地骚动起来，便知道是有人藏在里面做小动作了。

What a large stretch of lotus filled lake -- green and fresh! The verdant foliage layered and stacked on top of eachother, some as small as plates and others as large as umbrellas. The ones on the outskirts sat lower in the water and were more sparse, carpeting on the surface of the water. The ones on the inside stood taller and packed tightly together, sufficient to hide a boat carrying people. If one were to see a cluster of lily pads rustling and shaking, then they would know someone was mischievously hiding within.

莲花坞的小船滑进这片碧绿的天地底，四周挂满了鼓囊囊的大绿莲蓬，一人撑船，其余人便开始对它们动手动脚起来。大头大脑的莲蓬长在细长的莲茎上，莲茎平滑的绿杆上生满小刺，但不扎人，一折，脆生生地便断了。他们都是连着一段长长的茎一起折了，回去后还可以找个瓶子，插在水里养着，听说这样会多鲜嫩几天。魏无羡也只是听说，不知道是不是真的，反正他就是这么信誓旦旦告诉别人的。

The small boat from Lotus Pier glided into that verdant world. All around them hung large green lotus pods, round and full. One person rowed the boat and the rest started on the lotus pods. The large lotus heads grew on long, thin stems. The smooth lotus stems were covered with tiny thorns that did not sting. Bending the stems, they snapped with a crisp sound. The boys all broke off the pods with a large segment of stems attached. Once they took the pods home, they would find a vase and stick the pods in water. They heard it would preserve the pods’ freshness for a few more days. Wei Wuxian only heard it would work but didn’t know for sure, but he told the others with confidence anyway.

[the thorns and stinging thing was hard to translate. Maybe tiny stingers that didn’t stab people? I don’t know... basically some plants have little bits of white prickly things. And mxtx is describing that. This is why wwx is an academic. You want grant money? Convince people you’re right even if you may not be. >.> ]

他折了几枝，随手剥了一个，颗粒饱满，扔进嘴里，娇嫩多汁，边吃边随口胡哼瞎唱着什么“我请你吃莲蓬、你请我吃什么”，被江澄听到了，道：“你请谁吃？”

He broke off a few stems and reflexively removed the lotus seeds out of one. The seeds were full and round. When he popped them in his mouth, they were tender and juicy. As he ate, he started mindlessly humming and singing, “I treat you to eat lotus pods, what will you treat me to eat?” Jiang Cheng heard his singing and asked, “Who are you treating to eat things?” 

魏无羡道：“哈哈，反正不是你！”正准备摘个莲蓬砸他脸，忽然“嘘”了一声，道，“死了，今天老头在！”

Wei Wuxian said, “Haha, no matter what it’s not you!” He was about to smack Jiang Cheng’s face with the lotus pod but suddenly made a shushing noise and said, “We’re gonna die. The old man is here today!”

老头就是在这片水里种莲蓬的老农。到底有多老，魏无羡也不知道，反正在他看来，江枫眠是叔叔，比江枫眠大的一律都可以被称为老头。打魏无羡记事起他就在这片莲塘了，夏天来偷莲蓬，被抓住后就会被他打。魏无羡时常怀疑这老头是个莲蓬精转世，因为他对自己家湖里少了几个莲蓬了如指掌，少了几个打几下。莲湖里划船，竹篙比桨好使，砰砰砰！打在身上痛极了。

The old man was the old farmer who grew lotus pods in that stretch of water. How old was he, Wei Wuxian didn’t know. From Wei Wuxian’s perspective, Jiang Fengmian was an uncle. Anyone older than Jiang Fengmian could be referred to as an old man. Since Wei Wuxian could remember, he was around this stretch of lotus pond. In the summer, when Wei Wuxian came to steal lotus pods, if he was caught, he would be beaten. Wei Wuxian often suspected the old man was a reincarnated lotus pod spirit because he knew exactly how many lotus pods were missing from his family’s lake. He would beat you once for each missing lotus pod. A bamboo pole was the best tool for maneuvering a boat in a lotus lake. Thump thump thump! The bamboo pole was also exceptionally painful for the people getting hit.

[I wish mxtx would use fewer onamonapias… also, i translated lotus pond because the character she used 塘 means pond. I think she was being inconsistent… oh, well... and i really didn’t like the flow of this paragraph… kinda stream of conscience… especially the last few bits jumped to me, even in chinese. I tried making it flow… ]

众少年也都吃过几杆子，当下都嘘道：“快跑，快跑！”忙不迭抄桨，落荒而逃。七手八脚，划出了莲塘，做贼心虚地回头一看，老头的船已经穿出了重重莲叶，在开阔的水面上滑行。魏无羡歪头，看了一会儿，忽道：“奇怪！”

All the youths have experienced a few strikes of the bamboo pole. They all hissed at each other: “Run! Hurry and run!” They grabbed the oars and fled. After they frantically rowed out of the lotus pond, they turned around to look guiltily behind them. The old man’s boat had already exited the thick layers of lily pads and was gliding upon the open waters. Wei Wuxian tilted his head, stared for a bit, and suddenly said, “Weird!”

江澄也站了起来，道：“那船为什么走得这样快？”

Jiang Cheng also stood up and said. “Why is that boat moving so quickly?”

众人一看，那老头背对他们的方向，正挨个数着船上的莲蓬，竹篙放在一边，没动，船只却走得又稳又快，竟是比魏无羡他们的还快。

Everyone looked over at the old man. His back was turned towards them and was counting the lotus pods on his boat. The bamboo pole was set aside, untouched. The boat, however, moved steadily and swiftly, even faster than the boat with Wei Wuxian and company. 

众人都警惕了起来。魏无羡催促道：“划过去，划过去。”

Everyone became cautious. Wei Wuxian urged, “Row over there, row over there.”

两边船靠得近了，众人看得分明，老头的船边，有一道若有若无的白影在水面下游荡！

The two boats moved close and everyone could clearly see a faint white shadow floating and swimming under the water by the old man’s boat. 

魏无羡回头，食指抵在唇上，示意众人小心，莫要惊了老头和下面那只水鬼。江澄点头，划船只带出无声的水波，动静几近于无。当两船相距约三丈时，一只青白色的手从船底湿��淋地扬起，从老头堆满船的莲蓬里，偷偷抓走了一个，无声无息潜入水底。

Wei Wuxian turned around, his finger against his lip, warning everyone to be careful -- do not startle the old man and the water ghoul under his boat. Jiang Cheng nodded and rowed the boat. The ripples he generated were nearly silent with almost no commotion. When the two boats were about three zhang apart, a wet and dripping pale green hand reached up from beneath the boat. Surreptitiously, the hand took a lotus pod from the old man’s full boat and silently resubmerged itself into the water.

[ 3 丈 (zhang) is ~ 10 meters or 11ish yards]   

片刻之后，两个莲子米的壳子浮上水面。

A few moments later, two lotus seed shells floated to the surface of the water.

一群少年惊呆了：“不得了，这个水鬼也偷莲蓬啊！”

The group of youths was astounded. “Wow! This water ghoul also steals lotus pods!”

[不得了 can be translated as excessive if paired with a situation... It’s just some sort of exclamation of awe and shock.]

老头终于发现身后来了人，一手抓着一只大莲蓬，一手抄竹竿转身。这动作惊了水鬼，哧溜一下，白影没了。众人忙道：“哪里跑！”

The old man finally noticed someone was behind him. He held a large lotus pod and one hand and turned around while grabbing the bamboo pole with the other. The motion started the water ghoul which slithered away. The white shadow disappeared. Everyone quickly hollered, “Where are you going?”

魏无羡扑通入水，扎进水底，不一会儿便拖着一个东西钻出来，道：“抓住了！”

Wei Wuxian plopped into the water and dropped into the depths. Soon, he resurfaced dragging something. “Caught it!”

只见他手里提着一只小水鬼，肤色青白，还是个十二三岁的孩子模样，十分惶恐，在一群少年的注视下几乎要缩成一团。

In his hand, there was a small water ghoul with pale green skin. It looked like a twelve or thirteen year old child. Terrified, it shrank into a ball under the group’s watchful eyes.

这时，老头一竿打来，骂道：“又来捣乱！”

At this time, the old man’s bamboo pole descended as he scolded, “Here again to cause trouble!”

魏无羡背上刚挨了鞭子，又吃了一竿，“嗷”的一声差点松了手。江澄怒道：“好好说话，干什么动手打人，好心当成驴肝肺！”

Wei Wuxian had just gotten whipped and was now getting hit by a bamboo pole. “Ow!” he yelped, almost losing his grip. Jiang Cheng angrily said, “Speak reasonably. Why are you hitting people? Misunderstanding our good intentions!”

[好心当成驴肝肺 means good heart is seen as a donkey’s liver and lungs. So something good seen as something bad. ]

魏无羡忙道：“没事没事。老……老伯你看清楚，我们不是鬼，这只才是鬼。”

Wei Wuxian quickly said, “No big deal. Old… old uncle, take a closer look. We are not ghouls. This is the ghoul.”

[Technically 你看清楚 is get a clear look but take a closer look works better in english. And it’s the same sentiment! ]

老头道：“废话，我只是老，我又没瞎。还不把它放了！”

The old man said, “No shit! I’m just old, not blind. Let him go!”

[废话 is literally useless speech. It’s basically the rude equivalent of ‘obviously’ so “no shit” it is! ]

魏无羡怔了怔，但见这被他捉住的小水鬼连连作揖，黑眼睛湿漉漉的，一副很可怜的样子，手里还揪着刚才偷的那个大莲蓬舍不得松手。莲蓬掰开了，看来是还没来得及吃几颗，就被魏无羡揪上来了。

Wei Wuxian startled. He watched the little water ghoul in his hand bowing with its hands clasped in front of its body. Its black eyes wet with tears, looking rather pathetic. In its hands the water ghoul still clung onto the large lotus pod it just stole. The lotus pod was broken open but the water ghoul clearly did not have time to eat many lotus seeds before Wei Wuxian dragged him to the surface.

江澄心道这老头简直不可理喻，对魏无羡道：“你别放，咱们把这水鬼抓回去。”

Jiang Cheng thought to himself that the old man was impossible to reason with. He said to Wei Wuxian, “Don’t let it go. We should take the water ghoul home.”

闻言，老头又举起了竹篙，魏无羡忙道：“别打别打，我放它下来就是了。”

Hearing those words, the old man raised the bamboo pole again. Wei Wuxian hurriedly said, “Don’t hit me! Don’t hit me! I’ll let it go!”

江澄道：“别放，万一这水鬼杀人替死怎么办！”

Jiang Cheng said, “Don’t let go. What would we do if the water ghoul kills people?”

魏无羡道：“这水鬼身上没血腥气，他年幼游不出这片水，最近这片水域没说死过其他人，应该是没害过人的。”

Wei Wuxian said, “This water ghoul doesn’t smell like blood. He’s young and cannot leave this section of the lake. Recently there has been no word that people have died in this area. It doesn’t seem like he’s harmed anyone before.”

江澄道：“就算之前没害过，今后也不一定不会……”

Jiang Cheng said, “Even if he hasn’t harmed anyone before, you can’t guarantee that in the future....”

话音未落，竹篙呼呼飞到。江澄吃了一记，大怒：“你这老头不分好歹吗？！知道是鬼不怕被它害了啊！”

Before his words finished, the bamboo pole landed with a whoosh. Jiang Cheng, getting hit, angrily said, “Old man, do you not have a sense of good and evil?! You know it’s a ghoul and you’re not scared of it doing harm?!”

老头也很理直气壮：“一只脚都进棺材的人还怕什么鬼。”

The old man responded with self assurance, “I already have one foot in my own coffin. Why would I be scared of a ghoul?”

魏无羡料想它也跑不远，便道：“别打了别打了，我松手了！”

Wei Wuxian figured it would not be able to run far, so he said, “Stop fighting, stop fighting. I’m letting go.”

他当真松了手，那水鬼哗啦一下蹿到老头船后，似是不敢出来了。

He really let go. The water ghoul slithered behind the old man’s boat, too timid to come out again. 

魏无羡湿淋淋地爬上了船，老头从船上挑了个莲蓬，丢进水里，水鬼不理。老头又挑了个大的，再丢进水中，莲蓬在水面上沉浮几下，忽的半个白脑袋钻出水面，像条大白鱼一般，把两个绿莲蓬叼进水底了。再过一会儿，水面上又浮起一点白色，水鬼把肩和手也露出来，缩在船后，埋头“咯吱咯吱”地吃了起来。

Wei Wuxian climbed back onto the boat soaking wet. The old man picked a lotus pod from his boat and threw it into the water. The water ghoul ignored it. The old man then picked a large lotus pod and threw it into the water. The lotus pod bobbed on the surface a few times. Suddenly, half a white head popped out of the water and dragged the two lotus pods down with its mouth like a large white fish. After a while longer, something white floated to the surface again. The water ghoul curled up behind the boat with its arms and hands above water and ate with noisy gusto. 

众人看它吃得津津有味，不禁纳闷。

Everyone watched, bewildered, as it ate with enthusiasm.

眼看着老头又丢了个莲蓬进水，魏无羡摸了摸下巴，有点不是滋味，道：“老伯，为什么它偷你的莲蓬，你让它偷，还送给它吃。我们偷你的，你就要打？”

Watching the old man throw another lotus pod into the water, Wei Wuxian rubbed his chin, feeling a little upset. He asked, “Old uncle, why do you let it steal your lotus pods? You even gift them to it. But when we steal your lotus pods, you hit us.”

老头道：“它帮我推船，给它几个莲蓬吃吃又有什么？你们这班小鬼？今天偷了几个？”

The old man responded, “It helps push my boat. Giving it a few lotus pods is nothing. You rascals? How many did you steal today?”

众人讪讪，魏无羡眼角一瞄，船肚子里堆了几十个不止，心道不妙，忙道：“走着！”

Everyone became embarrassed. Wei Wuxian glanced at the inside of their boat -- there were at least a few dozen. He knew the situation was going to take a turn for the worse and said, “Go!”

几人当即抄桨，那老头挥舞着竹篙迎面冲来，船行如风，头皮一麻，只觉那竹篙马上就要敲到，连忙撒开四肢，划得要疯了。两艘船绕着一大片莲湖逃了两圈，眼看越追越近，魏无羡已经吃了好几竿子，而且发现竿子只冲着他来，抱头大叫，道：“不公平！为什么只打我！为什么又只打我！”

A few people immediately picked up the oars as the old man charged forward waving his bamboo pole. His boat moved like the wind. The top of the youths’ heads felt a numbness and the foreboding sense of the bamboo pole making impact. They engaged all their limbs and rowed like crazy. The two boats circled the large lotus pond a couple of times, the old man’s boat closing in on the other boat. Wei Wuxian had already been hit a few times and he noticed the bamboo pole was only aimed at him. He hugged his head and yelled, “Too unfair! Why am I the only one getting hit? Why am I the only one getting hit!”

众师弟道：“师兄你顶住啊，都靠你了！”

All the younger disciples said, “Hang in there Shixiong! We’re counting on you!”

江澄也道：“是啊，你好好顶着。”

Jiang Cheng also said, “Yes, you just hang in there.”

魏无羡大怒，“呸！我顶不住了！”他抓了船上一只莲蓬，扔出去道，“接着！”

Wei Wuxian said angrily, “That’s it. I can’t hang in there anymore.” He grabbed a lotus pod from the boat and tossed it out, “Catch!”

[呸 is fairly coarse language.. But idk. It’s just a noise one makes when they want to express derision or being fed up. In ep 1, wwx uses it at madam mo when she wails about her son and he’s like, 呸, he’s old enough to know better. Maybe “f-ck that” but a little less harsh? Since wwx was done here, i just translated it as ‘that’s it’]

那是很大的一只莲蓬，掉落到水里，“咚”地溅起水花。老头的船只果然一顿，那只水鬼欢欢喜喜游过去，捞了莲蓬来吃。

It was a very large lotus pod -- it hit the water with a thud and a large splash. The old man’s boat paused as expected. The water ghoul happily swam over, scooped up the lotus pod, and began eating

趁此机会，莲花坞的船终于得了个空，逃掉了。

Seizing the opportunity, the Lotus Pier boat escaped. 

回去的时候，一名师弟道：“大师兄，鬼能吃出味道吗？”

On the way way back, a younger disciple asked, “Da-shixiong, can ghouls taste flavor?”

魏无羡道：“一般吃不出吧。不过我看这只小鬼，大约是……是……阿……阿嚏！”

Wei Wuxian said, “Usually not. But I think this little ghoul is proba… probab… probably.. Ah… achoo!”

日头落了，风来了，吹一吹，凉意上来了，冷丝丝的。魏无羡打了个喷嚏，揉了揉脸，接着道：“大约是生前想吃莲蓬吃不到，偷偷来摘的时候掉进湖里淹死的。所以……啊……啊……”

The sun had set and the wind picked up, bringing a sense of coolness and chill. Wei Wuxian sneezed, rubbed his face, and continued, “Probably it wanted to eat lotus pods in its past life but could not. When it snuck there to pick some, it fell into the water and drowned. So… ah… ah…”

江澄道：“所以吃莲蓬就是在了执念，会有满足感。”

Jiang Cheng said, “So, eating lotus pods realized its desires, giving it a sense of fulfillment.”

魏无羡道：“唔，对。”

Wei Wuxian agreed, “Uh, right.”

他摸了摸新旧伤交加的后背，还是忍不住把心里的话问出来了：“这可真是千古奇冤，为什么每次一有什么事，永远都只打我？”

He touched his back that was covered in crisscrossing old and new injuries and couldn’t help but voice his thoughts, “But this is such a strange injustice for the ages. Why is it that whenever something happens, I’m always the only one who gets hit?”

一名师弟道：“你最英俊。”

One younger disciple said, “You are the most handsome.”

另一人道：“你修为最高。”

Another said, “You have the highest cultivation.”

再一人道：“你不穿衣服最好看。”

Yet another added, “You look the best naked.”

众人纷纷点头，魏无羡道：“谢谢大家的赞誉，我听得都有点起鸡皮疙瘩了。”

Everyone nodded in agreement. Wei Wuxian said, “Thank you everyone for the praise. Hearing them gives me goosebumps.”

师弟道：“不客气啊大师兄。每次都是你挡在���面，你值得更多呀！”

A younger disciple said, “You’re welcome Da-shixiong. Since you’re the one who blocks hits for us each and every time, you deserve more.”

[每次都是你挡在前面 - (by character) every, instance, all, is, you, block,at, front, facing. Basically every time something comes up, WWX stands out front and takes the hits… ]

魏无羡惊讶道：“哦？还有更多，说来听听。”

Wei Wuxian said, shocked, “Oh? There’s more. Let’s hear it.” 

江澄听不下去了，道：“都住口！再不好好说话，当心我扎穿了船底，一起死了干净。”

Jiang Cheng could not bear hearing more. He said, “Everyone shut up. If you don’t say reasonable things, I just might smash through the bottom of the boat so we all die a clean death.”

这时，途经一片水域，两岸是农田。田里有几名身姿娇小的农女耕作，见他们的小船驶过，奔向水边，远远招呼，道：“哎——！”

At this time, they crossed a section of water with farmland on both sides. In the rice paddies, a few small framed farm girls were plowing. When they saw the boys’ small boat pass by, they ran to the water and waved, “Hey -----!”

众人也“哎”地应了，七手八脚去捅魏无羡：“师兄，叫你呢！人家叫你！”

Everyone responded with a “Hey” and then jabbed Wei Wuxian, “Shixiong, they’re calling you! They’re calling you!”

魏无羡定睛一瞧，果然是他带着头打过交道的，心头霎时乌云退散晴空万里，也站起来挥手招呼，笑道：“什么事！”

Wei Wuxian looked over. Indeed they were people he had led the boys in acquainting. His mood immediately brightened. He stood up, waved, and asked, laughing, “What’s up?”

[心头- heart, 霎时 - suddenly, 乌云- dark clouds, 退散 - receded and scattered, 晴空 - clear skies, 万里- ten thousand li. Beautiful description but “His mood immediately brightened” is equivalent. 什么-what  事-event/business, so colloquially, what’s up? ^^]

小船顺水流，农女们在岸边跟着走，边走边道：“你们是不是又去偷莲蓬了！”

The small boat moved with the water current and the farm girls followed on land. They walked and talked, “Did you guys go steal lotus pods again?”

“快说挨了多少下！”

“Quick! Tell us how many times you were hit!”

“还是去药人家的狗啦？”

“Or did you go drug other people’s dog?”

江澄听了几句，恨不得把他一脚踢下船去，痛心疾首：“你这臭名远扬的，真是给咱们家丢脸。”

Jiang Cheng listened for a few sentences and wanted to kick Wei Wuxian off the boat. He said with bitterness, “Your foul reputation has spread so widely. You’ve really lost face for our family.”

魏无羡辩解道：“她们说的是‘你们’，我们一伙儿的好吗，要丢脸也是一起丢脸。”

Wei Wuxian defended himself, explaining, “They said ‘you guys’. We’re all in this together, ok? If we lose face, we lose face together.”

这厢两人正掐着，那头一名农女又喊道：“好吃吗！”

While the two were fighting, the first farmgirl yelled, “Was it yummy?”

魏无羡百忙之中抽空道：“什么？”

Wei Wuxian paused in the middle of fighting, “What?”

[ok, i don’t know why mxtx chose to describe this as 百忙之中抽空  (found some time in the midst of pressing affairs) so i just described what she was trying to describe if that makes sense. I think it’s an unnecessary exaggeration on her part and frankly annoyed me… fighting jc shouldn’t take that much effort. They do it on reflex. this might also be hour 7 or 8 of me translating and my brain is fried but i’m angrily determined to finish lotus extra part 1 tonight. Forgive this loopy angry translator for exercising artistic discretion.]

农女道：“我们送的西瓜，好吃吗！”

The farm girl said, “The watermelons we sent over. Were they good?”

魏无羡恍然大悟，道：“西瓜原来是你们送的啊。很好吃！怎么不送进来坐坐，我们请你们吃茶！”

Wei Wuxian suddenly understood, “The watermelons were from you guys! They were delicious! Why didn’t you come in and visit for a bit? We could have offered you tea!”

那农女嫣然一笑，道：“送去的时候你们不在，放了就走，不敢坐啦。好吃就好！”

The farm girl smiled sweetly.  “When we brought it over, you guys weren’t there. We set them down and left. We dared not stay. Glad they were good!”

魏无羡道：“谢谢！”他从船底捞出几个大莲蓬，道，“请你们吃莲蓬，下次进来看我练剑啊！”

Wei Wuxian said, “Thank you!” He then scooped up a few large lotus pods and said, “Have some lotus pods on us! Next time, come in and watch me practice swords!”

江澄嗤道：“你练剑很好看么？”

Jiang Cheng sneered, “Is your practicing swords attractive?”

[好看 means good + look/watch. It can mean pretty, fun to watch, good for watching, easy on the eyes. Etc. so i picked one… maybe i should’ve used “is your practicing swords worth watching?” but it’s just a slightly different sense? Also, 好看 was used by wwx when lwj offered to carry him after wwx took a zidian whip to his leg and then transferred the curse on jin ling onto the same leg. He asked lwj is a man carrying another man attractive? Or maybe is it something that can be watched without shame? The implications are it would be shameful in that case. In this case JC is just expressing his disapproval for wwx’s flirting. You know? I can see why some people think JC is aro/ace because he doesn’t seem to get this stuff… like AT ALL. ]

魏无羡这么朝岸边丢着莲蓬，抛得老远，落入人手里却是轻轻巧巧的。他抓了几只往江澄胸口塞，搡他：“你愣着干什么，你也赶紧的。”

Wei Wuxian threw the lotus pods towards land. Despite flying a long distance, the lotus pods were light and easy to catch. He grabbed a few more lotus pods and shoved them at Jiang Cheng’s chest, “Why are you doing in a daze? Hurry up!”

江澄被搡了两下，不得已接了，道：“赶紧的什么？”

Jiang Cheng took the lotus pods against his will after getting them shoved at him. “Hurry up and do what?”

魏无羡道：“你也吃了西瓜，还不得给人家回礼啊。来来不要不好意思，都丢起来，丢起来。”

Wei Wuxian said, “You also ate the watermelon. You need to return a gift. Come on, don’t be embarrassed. Everyone, throw! Throw!”

江澄嗤道：“笑话，这有什么不好意思的。”话是这么说，可一船师弟都开始丢得不亦乐乎了，他还没动手。魏无羡又道：“那你丢啊。这次丢了，下次就可以问她们莲蓬好不好吃，又可以搭话了！”

Jiang Cheng sneered, “Funny. What is there to be embarrassed about?” His words were such, but even though all the younger disciples on the boat were gleefully throwing lotus pods, he still had not thrown any. Wei Wuxian said again, “Then throw! If we throw this time, next time we can ask them if the lotus pods were delicious. It’ll be another opportunity for conversation!”

众师弟恍然大悟：“原来如此，受教了，师兄真是经验老道啊！”

All the younger disciples felt enlightened. “So that’s how it is. We are learning! Shixiong is truly experienced!”

[suddenly understood was used by mxtx again. I’m translating it as enlightened due to context. Also, she needs to stop repeating the same phrasing over and over again… ]

“一看就是经常干这种事的！”

“Clearly you do this a lot!”

“哪里哪里，哈哈哈哈……”

“You flatter me, hahahaha….”

[哪里哪里 means where, where; as in where is this compliment coming from? So ‘you flatter me’ is the appropriate way to express this sentiment]

江澄本来要丢的，一听这话瞬间清醒，深觉丢人，剥开一只莲蓬自己吃了起来。

Jiang Cheng was originally going to throw the lotus pod, but acquired clarity upon hearing the conversation. He felt the action was severely embarrassing and broke open a lotus pod for himself to eat instead.

船在水里走，姑娘们在岸上小步追，接着船上少年们抛过来的翠绿莲蓬，沿路跑沿路笑。魏无羡右手搭在眉间，望着这一路风景，笑着笑着，叹了口气。众人道：“大师兄怎么啦？”“妹子们追着你跑还叹气啊？”

The boat moved in the water. The girls scurried along on land, catching the jade green lotus pods tossed over by the youths on the boat, running and laughing all the way. Wei Wuxian’s right hand rested between his brows, watching the scenery pass by. As he smiled, he let out a sigh. Everyone asked, “Da-shixing, what’s wrong?” “Girls are chasing us but you sigh?”

魏无羡把桨扛上肩，嘿道：“没怎么，只是想到我诚心诚意请蓝湛来云梦玩儿，他居然敢拒绝我。”

Wei Wuxian lifted an oar onto his shoulders and smirked, “Nothing much. I’m just thinking about how I sincerely invited Lan Zhan to Yunmeng for a visit, but he actually refused me.”

众师弟竖起大拇指：“哇，不愧是蓝忘机！”

All the younger disciples gave a thumbs up, “Wow. Lan Wangji really deserves his reputation!”

[so for CQL folk, 不愧是蓝忘机 means ‘he’s not Lan Wangji for nothing’ or ‘deserves to be lwj’ but i think ‘deserves his reputation’ is a better translation in context, ok? It’s a sentence structure seen at the end of ep 50 when wwx says to lwj ‘you 不愧是 hanguang-jun’ and lwj responds back ‘you 不愧是 wei ying’. 不 is not and 愧 is ashamed so it means not ashamed to be? Something like that. There’s a chinese Yibo meme where whenever he’s a gremlin or does something impressive, they pop up 不愧是我 next to him. Like, of course i deserve my reputation. There’s a hunxi-guilai post about it so just go look if you’re still confused. I can try to explain more if you lmk what’s confusing?]

魏无羡意气风发地道：“住口！总有一天我要把他拖来，然后把他踹下船去，骗他去偷莲蓬，让老头用竹竿子敲他，让他追在我后面跑，哈哈哈哈……”

Wei Wuxian declared with vigor, “Shut up! One day I will drag him here. And then I will kick him off the boat, deceive him into stealing lotus pods, get the old man to hit him with the bamboo pole, and make him chase after me as I run off, hahahaha...”

[Can i just say how much I LOVE THIS?! Because WWX is one track mind crushing/fixating on LWJ and it just delights me that he wants LWJ to share all his experiences and adventures. It’s so much of I want him to suffer with me, focusing on the WITH ME. and WWX has no idea that’s why he’s so fixated. Aaaaaaaaaah!]

长笑了一阵，他回头，看了看坐在船头一个人板着脸吃莲蓬的江澄，笑容逐渐消失，叹道：“唉，真是孺子不可教也。”

After laughing for a while, he turned his head and looked at the Jiang Cheng who was sitting at the end of the boat grumpily eating lotus pods alone. Wei Wuxian’s smile gradually faded. He sighed and said, “Alas, the child cannot be taught.”

江澄怒了：“我就想自己吃怎么了？”

Jiang Cheng was angered. “So what if I want to eat it myself.”

魏无羡道：“你啊你，江澄。算了，你没救了，你就一辈子自己吃吧！”

Wei Wuxian said, “Oh, you, Jiang Cheng. Whatever, you’re hopeless. You can just eat them yourself for the rest of your life.”

[算了 is like drop it, or let it go. Wwx is saying it to himself so it’s like whatever if whatever were said to jiang cheng.]

总之，偷莲蓬的小船，再一次满载而归。

In short, the small boat that went to steal lotus pods once again returned after a successful journey.

[jaehotbuns]

high school

rating: pg - 13

word count: 7207

characters: you x mark 

genre: university!au, best friends to lovers, fluff, slight angst

song recommendation: high school - umi

summary: out of chance in your third year philosophy course, you reconnect with Mark Lee, your best friend and first love from high school who abruptly left after you two confessed to each other on your prom night. you both can’t help but fall for each other again but you can’t shake the thought out of your mind, why did he leave in the first place?

[tuesday, 4:29pm] 

Your excitement for meeting new people at the beginning of your summer semester quickly diminished as you were grouped with the worst combination of people that you could have ever imagined. Usually you didn’t enjoy group work but when your professor announced that the 10% participation portion was to write a short summary of your group’s discussion on the week’s reading and lecture, you were looking forward to hopefully making new friends and an easy A. However, once the ball started rolling on the topic for this week’s topic, your group mates started to “debate.” You didn’t know how in any context where debating included two people not listening to each other and simply saying, “I understand but…” before continuing to ignore any counterpoints of the opposition and merely restating their stance. 

While Haechan, the curly haired boy with a whiny voice was arguing with Yeri, the pretty well-dressed girl with the high-pitched voice, you slumped down into the study room’s uncomfortable faux leather swivel chairs and rested the side of your head on your hand which was supported by your elbow that was digging into the chair’s arm. Although the position was uncomfortable, at least it allowed you to direct one ear to the group and the other to the corner of the room to block out their constant bickering. You tried to interject so that you could get them to share their opinions civilly but they brushed off your attempts and continued to go at each other’s throats. So for about ten minutes you summarized their points in a Google document and your own, and then sat for the remaining time considering no one else had contributed in a thoughtful way. 

As you looked down at your phone’s time, you noticed that the fourth member of your group was still missing. You were envious of them, at least they didn’t have to sit around and listen to a verbal fight on if human beings had consciousness or not and in turn if animals had consciousness if they weren’t able to speak. Your head turned to the side when you heard the soft click of the door closing after a tall slender boy stepped into the room with a four slot case of Starbucks iced coffees in his hand and a pile of textbooks in the other. 

Haechan and Yeri didn’t notice him come in until he set the drinks down on the wooden circle table and started to speak, “sorry I was late.” He huffed as he settled down into another chair and set his belongings down on the floor, “the line for textbooks was crazy but I had to line up before they were sold out hahaha.” He laughed awkwardly as the two looked at him and shook their heads. “I got us all drinks to make up for it!” 

It seemed like they knew him before as they muttered a “whatever” before each grabbing a drink to replenish their vocal cords to continue their bickering. You looked at the boy with jet black hair, which was sticking to his forehead with sweat from his run from the university’s bookstore to the library which was a good kilometer. He’s cute, you thought as you looked at him clumsily slip his laptop out of his black backpack which matched his black jean jacket, black t-shirt, and black jogger pants. But something was unsettling about him, you felt like you’ve seen him before. 

“Hey,” you sat up in your chair and swirled your chair to face him. You introduced yourself and watched him as he jumped slightly as he furiously typed into his keyboard to bring up his lecture notes as the upright student that he was, he didn’t want to be a burden on the team although every meeting was only worth 1% out of the ten. 

He came out of his trance and turned to you and smiled, “sorry I forgot to introduce myself to you!” He gestured to Yeri and Haechan, “I already knew them so I forgot about introductions altogether haha.” His hand rubbed the back of his neck shyly, “my name’s Mark Lee, nice to meet you.” 

Your head tilted to the side in familiarity and realized why he felt familiar, “no way!” Mark also tilted his head to the side, confused at your exclamation. “Humberside High? The Mark Lee?” 

The Mark Lee who was on the basketball team and volleyball team even though he was a sophomore and didn’t hit puberty until his junior year which resulted in him as the shortest member on both teams although the players were his age or only a year older. The Mark Lee who was confident in his flute skills from touring with his middle school band but was rejected from the high school band. The Mark Lee who was sighing all day when you were trying to study from because he was rejected so you had to buy him ice cream to cheer him up. 

“How would you like your eggs?” You asked him, trying to suppress your laughter from your memories of him in high school. 

He seemed to have forgotten your inside joke as he could only answer with an “ummm…” 

Your lips pursed as you were slightly disappointed that he didn’t get the joke right off the bat, “I see your memories are just as bad as your flute skills.” You folded your arms across your chest and gave him another chance to remember, “I’m sad, looks like someone doesn’t remember me.” 

Finally you saw recognition flash over his eyes as he snapped his fingers and opened his mouth in awe before giving you the answer that you were looking for. “Cooked!” Both of you burst out in laughter and doubled over in your chairs, with the same fond memory in your minds. 

“Dang, I can’t believe it’s you,” he wiped the corner of his eye from laughing too hard and placed a hand on your shoulder, patting it as if to welcome the ensuing rekindling of your friendship. You were glad that he was still comfortable with you despite not seeing him or speaking to him for at least 3 years. “Do you remember how we’d used to go to Denny’s all the time after school?” 

You slapped him on the shoulder lightly, barely grazing him as his oversized denim jacket took the brunt of your slap, “do you not remember how much you’d embarrass me?” 

“Dang I got such a bad mark on my chem test…” Mark pouted as he gripped both sides of his marked test with his hands, his fingers making jagged wrinkles on the sheet as his grip tightened in disappointment in himself. His walking was more irregular and heavy than usual as you felt the gravel and pebbles kick up onto the back of your calves as you two walked off the school property and onto the sandy patches next to the road, towards the bus stop. 

You peered over his shoulder to see his mark and saw a bright red ‘79’ with a quickly drawn circle on it. Usually with your other friends you would roll your eyes and say “that’s a great mark, if that’s a bad mark what does that make me?” But with Mark you knew the high standards he put on himself despite juggling AP classes and two sports teams. And telling him that would only guilt him. He would think “I shouldn’t be complaining” along with “I’m still not good enough.” 

So instead, you decided to take him somewhere that you knew he would be at ease, even if it were only for an hour or two. “Hey, let’s go to Denny’s,” you proposed. Mark’s sad eyes left his paper and was now looking into your eyes. 

“You’re only inviting me to make me feel better,” he mumbled with pouted lips. You smiled as you saw his hold on the test sheet weaken. 

“Well, it always works,” you replied before snatching the paper out of his hands and folding it neatly so that the two ends lined up. “You can always do better next time! For now let’s enjoy the rest of the day.” You went around to Mark’s back to open up the largest pocket of his backpack to slip in the test and out of the corner of your eyes you saw his lips curl into a smile as he placed his hands into his pockets. 

Due to his mark that fell below his standards, Mark’s pace was slower and that meant the two of you took longer time to make it to the bus stop. When you heard the sound of an engine behind your heels, you knew the bus was approaching. You and Mark were still approximately 100 metres away from the bus stop and had to make a run for it unless you wanted to walk 30 minutes to the restaurant. 

Without warning, you grabbed Mark’s hand and pulled him in the direction of the bus stop. Although for the first few seconds you were dragging his much taller and lanky body, he got the message and matched your pace to dash for the muted yellow bus that was about to pass. Your eyes were straight ahead and determined to make it on time, but as Mark ran behind you with his arm outstretched in yours, his eyes were smiling in crescent moons and a soft pink tint was present on his cheeks. 

Once you made it on the bus, you two plopped down on the 3rd row to the right window where you usually sat. He let you have the window seat as always, because you liked to look at the passing houses and trees and he liked to look at you smiling at the scenery. Little did he know that you could see his reflection in the window glass, grinning and admiring your face. He also didn’t know that you were smiling at his face and not at the view either. 

 Both of your hearts were still pounding from the short time of contact, but you were glad that you could use the excuse of running and being out of shape to blame your fast heartbeat. Unfortunately for Mark, he was an athlete for no justification for his fast heart rate to cover up the fact that he liked holding your hand, especially when you looked back at him to make sure that he wasn’t slowing down. When he saw the wind blow your hair back to frame your face, your bright smile, and shine from the heat; he was glad that you turned around instantly so you couldn’t see him smiling up to his cheeks. 

He snapped out of his trance when you stood up and pat his head to signal him to follow. He stood up and stepped out into the aisle so that you could step off of the bus first. Both of you thanked the bus driver and walked with light feet towards the Denny’s parking lot. They didn’t have a street entrance as usually only drunk people stumbled in from the parking lot or their Ubers, or the high school theatre kids after their performance in their parent’s cars. 

You two settled down into the booth seats next to the window, your favourite as there was a neon pink sign right above you which gave a retro feeling, and started to look through the menu. “Hmmm, I want something sweet and savoury tho,” you said as you were deciding whether to get a breakfast grand slam or tres leches pancakes. 

“We can get both and share,” Mark said, barely skimming the menu before closing it and setting it down on the slightly sticky diner table. He couldn’t stomach the sickeningly sweet pancakes and would much rather have waffles or a simple smoothie but he never minded sharing the pancakes with you if he could see your eyes light up when you took your first bite. He just hoped that you had a big appetite today so that you could eat the majority of the dessert so he wouldn’t have to eat more than half, knowing how much you hated to waste food. 

“Are you sure?” You asked with suspicion as his eyes barely touched the menu. It seemed like he only opened the menu to wait for you to make up your mind and for him to agree to it. “It’s supposed to cheer you up, after all.” 

He nodded with certainty and took the menu out of your hands to stack his and yours for the waitress to take easily when it was time to order. “Seeing you stuff your face already cheers me up,” he grinned and placed both of his elbows on the table and folded his hands together. He was smug with his discrete compliment that was disguised by a teasing remark. 

“Pfft,” you rolled your eyes and gave him a stank face although you could see through his intentions. You were about to look away to avoid his intense stare until the waitress came at the perfect time so you had an excuse to not look at him. “I’ll have the tres leches pancakes, thank you.” 

She turned to Mark with her pen in one hand and the notebook tucked under with her other hand, “and for you?” 

“The grand slam please,” he said. 

“How would you like your eggs?” 

Mark looked confused, which also made you confused because why would that question make him confused? You’ve been to Denny’s dozens of times but this was the first time Mark was asked how he’d like things to be cooked. And with no cooking skills or knowledge, he blurted out his answer which sounded more like a question, “uh cooked?” 

You were embarrassed as you saw the waitress hold back a suppressed laugh as she pressed her lips together at the teenage boy who still had no idea how to answer the question properly. “Sunny-side up please!” You answered for him and handed her the menus. 

“That’ll be right up,” she smiled and grabbed the menus from you before walking behind the counter to place your orders. 

With heat rising through your neck to your temples and cheeks, you slapped Mark lightly on his arm. “‘Cooked?’” You asked with disbelief. “Obviously they’re going to cook them! She wanted to know how you wanted them cooked!” 

With no embarrassment whatsoever but rather an insightful expression with his confusion resolved, he nodded and said an “ohhh… That makes more sense.” 

You shuddered at the memory while all Mark could do was look at you and laugh. She got cuter, he thought as he smiled while watching your face scrunch up in second-hand embarrassment once more. “I’m still haunted by that memory, I can still remember it as if it were yesterday,” you sighed with a hand clutching your shirt over your heart. 

He put both his hands up to his side and shrugged, “and to this day I do not feel embarrassed.” He leaned back into the chair smugly with his arms now folded across his chest, “you live and you learn.”

Compared to him, who was a total dork that was loved although clumsy in both speech and manners, you internalized every single moment that he messed up or said something off. It was as if the shame that he missed was transferred to your body to suffer instead. “I’m glad you think so.” You scrunched your nose at him and shook your head at his nonchalantness. “I just hope you don’t answer ‘cooked’ the next time you take a girl out to a fancy restaurant.” 

Mark sighed and moved his arms from their original folded position to hold the back of his neck again, “if only I could get a date.” For some reason, once he said that you were relieved. There was no reason for your relief as you two lost contact for three years but knowing that he was single and had trouble finding someone was reassuring. 

Who were you fooling though; you were afraid of falling in love with him again. 

[saturday, 6:54pm] 

It’s been two weeks since you reconnected with your high school best friend and first love. And like back in high school you two were glued to each other by the hip once again. From sending each other memes at 2am when both of you were tired yet weren’t bored enough to put down your phones, to studying at the library to only get food and talk for the rest of the day when either of your stomachs started rumbling; you felt as though you were transported back 3 years. 

Despite reliving the fun memories, you couldn’t help but think about why you and Mark stopped contacting each other 3 years ago. However, that story was for another time and you knew that it was inevitable for you two to talk about it to find closure. So for now you focused on the problem that you were faced with; you were running late. 

Mark suggested going to the drive-in movie theatre an hour away from campus to watch The Matrix since it was assigned as a reading for your philosophy of human nature course. You weren’t so sure about being in an even more cramped space than a small study room with Haechan and Yeri no matter how much you liked them after getting to know them. If anything the car would amplify their sibling-like spat or even worse, they talked throughout the movie. 

Luckily for you; Haechan had an essay due that night that he had to write due to his poor planning and procrastination and Yeri had a volunteering event that she held for her club as the Vice President. Unbeknownst to you, Mark had actually begged the two not to come so he had an excuse to bring you to a romantic date spot considering the both of you only hung out for school related activities like catching each other between breaks or to study on the weekend. As the innocent boy that couldn’t tell you any white lies, they actually did have those things to do but the previous day. With that justification, he felt like he didn’t lie but rather stretched the truth. 

On the side entrance of your dormitory, Mark was in his car with his phone in his hand trying to craft a text message to send to you. He wanted it to seem nonchalant but a little flirty as if he was up to pick you up from a date to hopefully give you butterflies. He had been doing that for 10 minutes already as he arrived 15 minutes early from the time you two agreed on; 7:00pm. When he looked at the time from his car’s radio, he saw that you were running five minutes late and hurriedly wrote a text because he was afraid that you forgot or ditched him. “Hey, I’m out front. You good?” 

You cursed when you saw your phone light up with his text as you sprayed your fruity floral perfume on your neck and behind your ears. You spent too long picking your outfit, shoes, accessories, and even which body gel would go better with your perfume that you took nearly two hours to get ready for a seemingly chill movie session for school. When you looked into the mirror before heading out the door, you hoped that your cardigan and jeans, beachy hair, and light accessories didn’t look too much. 

Once you slipped on your sneakers and rushed out of the door, you nearly tripped over the pavement until you grabbed onto Mark’s black Mercedes-Benz passenger door handle. You pulled it open and plopped inside the car. You were out of breath from rushing down four flights of stairs and nearly tripping, and from the nerves of being in a car with Mark for at least 4 hours. “Whoops sorry I’m late,” you huffed as you placed your bag onto your lap to let the seat belt lay comfortably over your torso. 

When you entered the car suddenly, the air blew the sweet smell of your perfume and mix of mango pineapple body wash over to Mark. His cheeks flushed a light pink as he saw your face with a pinky spring makeup that was different from your everyday neutral. He didn’t know how much prettier you could look in his eyes. A soft cough escaped his mouth which prompted him to place his hand over it when you suddenly settled into your seat and looked over at him. 

“Do you think we’ll be on time for the movie?” You asked. He shook his head from the daze that your scent and pretty face caused him to fall into and started the engine. 

“We should be fine,” he said confidently before placing his right hand on the back of your headrest and using the other to steer. When he leaned in closer to you, you were taken aback and for a second thought he was going to kiss you until his head looked towards the back of the car to back up and get out of the circular entrance of the dorm. You watched the muscles of his neck clench slightly as he pulled out of the driveway and turned back around to start driving out of the city and to the highway. 

You weren’t used to how much Mark had grown. Back then you liked him because he was cute, dependable, and shy. But now he was buying you snacks in between classes to make sure you ate, staying on the phone with you when he knew you were coming home from lectures late so that you weren’t scared and so that he knew you were safe, and even knowing how to effortlessly drive like the male leads do in rom-com movies. 

To divert your attention on how darn good Mark looked with his freshly washed hair, white jeans and black hoodie, you ran your fingers through his fluffy hair. “Who knew we’d meet each other again all grown up.” Your slightly cold fingers would graze against the back of his neck occasionally, sending chills and shivers down his spine while his hands gripped the steering wheel. 

Three years didn’t seem long but it did wonders to Mark’s appearance. Mark was always attractive even with his shy and quirky habits. Girls from your grade would say, “hey did you notice that Mark is kinda cute?” But they never made a move because the only girl he was comfortable with was you. That’s what you thought, but really he was only interested in you and he didn’t want to talk to other girls in case you got the wrong idea. His plan backfired when you thought him avoiding girls for your sake was him being hopeless around the opposite sex.

“Why? Did I get mature?” Once you were at the stop light, he turned his head to look at you and you turned to face him as well.

“Yeah,” you smiled with your hand still on his neck. “We both grew up.” He wasn’t expecting you to agree with him. He was expecting a typical reply that best friends gave each other like, “you wish,” or “no you’re still ugly.” Mark was getting his hopes up that you didn’t see him as a friend but as a potential boyfriend but like you, you both had to talk about why he left 3 years ago. 

He was relieved when the traffic light turned green so that he had an excuse to avoid your loving gaze which he mistook for nostalgia. “I remember I didn’t even have my driver’s license yet,” you recalled as you slipped your hand on his neck and onto your bag, knowing that you had it in your card case along with your student ID. 

Mark chuckled, “hey, it doesn’t make a difference.” He waved his finger up and shook it at you with his eyes still on the road. “I drive you everywhere to this day.” He was right. Every late night drive to McDonald’s when you were tired of creating troublesome bibliographies and when he was sick of trying to figure out why his Python code didn’t run was in his car. 

“Back then I asked my mom to drive to you,” you recalled. 

His eyebrows lifted in surprise, “what? Your parents would’ve killed you if they saw you going out with a boy!” 

You nodded and laughed in agreement, “I’d have her drop me off at Mina’s and I’d walk all the way over to your house.” 

Mark chuckled in disbelief and shook his head, “her house is 20 minutes away! You’re crazy.” 

“Only for you,” you winked and shot him a finger gun when he looked into the rear view mirror. He suddenly took his eyes off and put his head out the window slightly to cool his blushing face off. Satisfied that you managed to make him shy you straighten your back into the seat smugly, “what is this? Are you getting shy? Did Mark really grow up?” 

Out of embarrassment he said loudly, “hey! I’ll drop you off on the side of the road if you keep teasing me!” 

You put your hands up in surrender with a wide grin across your face, “oops, I won’t make that mistake again.” He shifted in his seat uncomfortably and calmed down after a few meters. “But I know you’d never do that to me.” 

How could she be so sure, Mark thought even though he would never forgive himself if he did anything relatively mean to you. 

Because you like me, you thought to yourself. You always have. 

But then another thought disturbed your mood, so then why did you leave? 

You brushed your hair so that it gathered behind your back; every strand of hair signifying every negative moment from the past as you two were nearing the drive-in theatre. The sun was setting and the clouds were transitioning from a warm orange to a soft indigo blue. Tonight, you wanted to enjoy your time with Mark and you could have a serious talk with him next time. If he doesn’t leave you again, that is. 

After Mark paid the attendant at the booth in front of the parking lot, he drove to a spot dead center so that both of you had an optimal view of the screen. If you drove to the very front then the screen would take up your field of vision and ruin the ambiance of watching a movie during sunset simultaneously but moving too far back would mean that you couldn’t see what was happening. 

With only another car parked at the very back left corner of the lot, you felt as if you and Mark were in a separate world than the outside. Once the opening credits started to roll in, you pulled a bag of maltesers and gummy worms out of your bag as well as a ten dollar bill. Mark snagged the bag of gummy worms but grasped your hand that held the money between your fingers and slipped it back into your purse. “Keep it,” Mark said. 

Both you and Mark watched the movie, occasionally popping a sweet treat into your mouth but both of you had watched the movie before. You watched it in high school economics to learn about how Neo might have been Karl Marx and the society was actually capitalism, and Mark watched it on his own time ten times because he loved the movie and wanted to dress up at Neo for Halloween until he realized that he didn’t look as good as Keanu Reeves but rather resembling a shiny roll of black licorice. 

The two of you could care less about the movie or even watching it for discussion which was worth a meager 1 percent out of your final mark, but also two didn’t want to talk which would admit that you both wanted it to be a date. Way to be more mature about your feelings, you thought.

When the movie was finally done, you noticed that the sky was now pitch black. The car behind you left, which you could see from the side mirror, and the ticket attendant probably left early knowing that it was the last movie for the night and that no one would come to a drive-in theatre in the middle of nowhere on a Saturday night. Except for two people who wanted to go on a date without admitting it was a date of course.

Once the ending scene was done, the screen turned black which caused Mark’s car to lose all visibility as well. Although there were four street lights that shone in the parking lot, you could barely see anything without any headlight. You heard the jiggling of keys as Mark fished them out of his pant pockets until you heard him curse lightly. “Ugh, I dropped it.” 

“The lights,” you said as you raised your hand to the car’s ceiling to turn on the interior lights so that he could find the keys. When you finally felt the smooth plastic button, you pushed it and the pale yellow light brightened up the car immediately. “Oh…” You said out of surprise when you realized Mark’s face was centimeters away from yours as he was also looking for the light switch. 

You expected him to blush and turn away like he always did when your faces got close together. Like when you drank out of your straw when he was drinking out of his milkshake or when you leaned in close to him to pull an eyelash off of his cheek. But this time he leaned closer, his gaze falling from your eyes down to your lips.

Your arm fell limp to your side when he placed his index finger from under your chin to lift up your head. Your eyes closed as his soft pink lips came in contact with yours. Two of his warm hands cupped your face as he leaned in closer and kissed you more aggressively. Your hands grasped his forearms and felt the overflowing love that you two had kept from each other from all those years spent apart. 

Mark pulled away to look into your eyes, “I-”

“Don’t say it,” you smiled sadly. “If you say it I might lose you again.” 

[tuesday, 1:23am]

Ever since your kiss with Mark, you two continued to act like normal surprisingly. He wasn’t avoiding you and even if he was, there was no way in hell that you would let him out of your sights again. You still met with each other, texted each other, and behaved as you normally would. You weren’t pretending that your feelings weren’t mutual or that the kiss didn’t happen, you two just didn’t bring it up. 

“Do they usually drink like this?” You asked with Yeri’s left arm slung around your shoulder as you placed her carefully into the Uber that you called for her and Haechan. 

The two of them decided to celebrate your “awesome teamwork” after finishing the semester with a perfect 10% on your participation mark. “It was really because you transcribed their arguments,” Mark whispered when the two of them shouted at how high their mark was because of the participation boost. 

Grateful for having members to do the work for them, they decided to treat you and Mark out for drinks. “Tab on us,” they announced proudly as they downed tequila shots while you and Mark had only a fruity cocktail each which contained a maximum of two shots. 

“Yes,” Mark groaned as he pushed Haechan haphazardly into the seat next to Yeri. They folded against each other as they were about ready to pass out. You prayed to the stars that they didn’t throw up into the poor man’s Uber. “Please take them home safely,” he said after securing seat belts for his classmates and closing the door. 

After you two watched the car drive off, you stood in awkward silence. You both didn’t want to go home yet, but someone had to initiate an invitation. “You hungry?” Mark asked. 

“Kinda,” you replied with a smile. You knew where this was heading.

“Denny’s.” The two of you laughed after saying the infamous drunk food, I mean breakfast diner, chain. 

You walked with him slowly to the diner that was conveniently located within walking distance of the bar that you had just left. Your feet swung off the concrete surface with every step, kicking off small pebbles to hear the satisfying sound of the soles of your shoes against the rough surface. 

“Remember when I left,” Mark said suddenly. 

You shivered at his words, prompting him to take off his bomber jacket and place it onto your shoulders. You didn’t shudder because of the breeze but because you were dreading talking about what caused your relationship to end abruptly. 

“How could I forget?”

“Cheers!” Mark exclaimed, holding up his shot of whisky next to yours. 

“Cheers!” You repeated after him and clinked your glass to his. You quickly downed the hot liquid which burned your throat as travelled down and coated the inside of your stomach. “Oof,” you nearly gagged at your first sip of alcohol as it reminded you of fuel but like the slightly sweet smell. “What a rollercoaster,” you said, trying to seem cool. 

“How’s this for a prom!” He said laughing at your wrinkled face as if he didn’t spittle a little out of his mouth in surprise at how bitter alcohol really was. 

You both wanted the prom experience but hated the theme for this year. “Tropical fairy,” you remember looking at the poster and squinting your eyes in distaste. “What kinda theme is that?” 

Mark nodded at your dislike and shook his head at how little effort went into the planning. Your high school was hit with a bunch of budget cuts, university admission changes, and faculty switches which led in students with less time to plan and on top of that less money. So instead of the fancy prom that you envisioned at an elegant French bistro where your school always held it, this year was at a retirement home with catering from a pizza place. Not even a fancy pizza place that had arugula. It had pineapple pizza, which you loved, but still it wasn’t fancy.

So here you were, having our first taste of alcohol with Mark in Montreal where the drinking age was only 18 compared to Vancouver where it was 19. He begged and pleaded with his dad to borrow his car to drive for the weekend trip and you had to convince your mom that you were going with Mina and not a boy you had the biggest crush on. 

“Do we have to take more?” You asked, half excited and half terrified of drinking more. 

“Of course!” Mark exclaimed. “I didn’t drive this far and pack for a trip if we're only going to take a single shot!” 

If only you knew he was going to tap out after two tequila shots and a white Russian. “I think it would be good if I stopped here,” he said, burping slightly as he pushed the empty glasses away from him. His face was glowing slight and you saw him sway slightly. 

You laughed, also a little tipsy but no where near the state he was in. 

After you two paid the bill, you sat in the nearest local park that you could find and Mark instantly laid down in a snow angel formation once you found a clean patch of grass. You cringed at the thought of leaving soil stains on his dark blue suit as he laid flat on the ground but his face was so at peace you didn’t care enough to scold him. 

You squatted on the grass carefully to avoid sitting down and ruining your deep red ‘prom’ dress which was really a FashionNova knit dress that made you look like you were ready to take pictures for instagram. With your white sneakers planted on the soil, you hugged your knees into your chest to balance yourself. 

“Hey,” Mark whined when he opened his eyes and saw you not committing to his coming of age, angsty, lying in the grass with his best friend who he’s secretly in love with-moment. His hand grabbed your forearm lightly to take you off balance so you could plop on the ground next to him. Your knees swung towards the patch of grass next to him and your head landed neatly on his chest. Before you could sit up, he placed his hand on your head to keep it there, brushing stray hairs out of your face. “Stay like this,” he slurred. 

You laid like that with him with your heart beating out of your chest and thousands of thoughts running through your mind. He was never bold like this. He’s probably a touchy drunk you thought. “Did you know that I’ve liked you since freshman year?” The alcohol was definitely affecting him. What a lightweight. 

“Obviously,” you chuckled. Your muscles were relaxing from their previous tenseness from his abrupt actions. “You thought you were so slick but I always knew it.” 

Even from his voice, you could hear his surprise and the fact that a pout followed it. “Wait what?!” He said in his high-pitched voice whenever he was shocked. “Why didn’t you say something about it?” 

“I didn’t want to be the first one to confess,” you said. Even though it took you all four years of high school and you could only do it when you were drunk, you thought. 

Like the clueless teenager with little experience with girls, he was still confused with your ambiguous confession. “Wait… that means…” 

“I like you too, you big head dummy!” You sat up with his arms and shook your head at him, embarrassed that he didn’t get your confession right away and also shy at the fact that you were basically sober and confessing to him when he was way past tipsy. You turned your head away from him to feign annoyance. 

“Hey,” he said. He sat up and held both sides of your face with his warm and callous hands. His deep brown eyes were looking intensely into yours. You couldn’t bear to look at him for long without blushing, but luckily for you, you closed your eyes when his lips came into contact with yours. 

You weren’t sure if it was his first kiss or not, but it was sloppy and rushed. It felt like he was releasing all of the pent-up passion for you ever since he realized that he liked you when you both met in your art class and started a conversation when he sprayed dark blue paint over your light blue denim jacket when he was trying to make the splatter effect with a paint brush. You didn’t mind though, because it was your first kiss and you didn’t know if he was good or bad without any reference. 

He pulled away slightly and rested his forehead gently on top of yours, “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

You chuckled lightly to yourself as you recollected that night. Both of you didn’t even know what love meant yet said that to each other in the heat of the moment. Or maybe Mark said that as a goodbye, a last minute confession before he’d leave you. 

“What?” You said as Mina dropped the bomb on you. 

“He didn’t tell you?” She asked, completely shocked that you weren’t the first person he told considering you two never spent time apart. “He moved to Korea for university.” 

For three months you two were texting back and forth, FaceTime calls whenever he could, and phone calls when you two had free time but were too embarrassed to show your faces because now you both had confessed but weren’t official yet but still not as comfortable as just friends now either. He said he was only going to Korea for the summer to visit his family. 

“Why wouldn’t he tell me?” 

Out of hurt, you started to send him less frequent messages and began declining his calls or attempts to FaceTime. Out of confusion, he stopped trying to reach you and the short lived relationship dissolved just like that; before it even began to bloom. 

While you two were talking about what happened, you had already arrived at Denny’s and sat in a booth with your orders already sent to the back. “So,” you said dryly while stirring the cubes of ice in your glass of water with your straw. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“You know how we planned going to university together,” he started to explain with his gaze fixed on the corner of the table. “It was your dream school and we were so excited to become roommates and take electives together because you were in Arts and I was in the Science department…” He corrected himself, “well planning to be anyways.”

Mark paused, looking up to try and figure out how to verbalize the whirlwind of emotions that caused him to keep the truth from you in the past. “I realized that I wanted to study in Korea when I was there for vacation. I dropped everything and I didn’t know how to tell you I decided on my dream school over you.” 

Your eyes shot up to match his in disbelief, “Mark! I wouldn’t hold you back. I would understand you, I would support you. Why would you keep that away from me?”

“Because I didn’t know if it was my dream school if you weren’t there,” he sighed. You were surprised and at a loss for words. You knew he had a crush on you but didn’t know how much it affected him where he was deciding on something as important as school over you. 

“So why did you come back? And when you did, why didn’t you call me?” 

“I came back because I don’t know,” he shrugged, taking a sip of his coke. “It didn’t feel the same as Canada, I felt lonely.” Sure he had friends, but he didn’t feel the same connection to them as he did back to the ones he had in his hometown. “I didn’t call because I didn’t think you’d want to see me. Especially after those dry messages.” 

You nodded and realized that both of you messed up. He failed to communicate his desire to go abroad and you didn’t even ask him why he suddenly left. “So us meeting again was really fate huh?” 

“You could call it that,” he smiled. His hand moved cautiously over the table to hold yours, nervous that you would pull back and reject him. “I’m sorry.”

Your fingers intertwined with his, “I’m sorry too. We were both too young.” 

“So, will you take me back?” His eyes were twinkling with hope.

“Mark,” you said. You watched him gulp, his adam’s apple bobbing up and down with nervousness. “You never lost me in the first place.” 

author’s note: ahh thank you for reading my writing and making it through to the end! i love umi’s song high school and basically just wrote this based on the lyrics haha. is it just me or did denny’s get worse? like i used to go for the food but now I just go for the nostalgia lol. anyways, please head over to my inbox for ships, requests, or if you just want to talk i’m always online nowadays lol. but for now; stay safe, stay healthy and happy! i’m here for you no matter what you’re going through. thanks for reading!

[canadian-riddler]

GLaDOS and Wheatley Did Nothing Wrong – Sort of

 A recurring point of contention is the question of who engages in worse behaviour over the course of Portal 2, GLaDOS or Wheatley.  The true answer is: neither of them.  You can’t actually judge their behaviour along a scale of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ because of the way Aperture as an environment is set up.  It’s mostly explained during the Old Aperture sections of Portal 2, but it’s also hinted at in Portal 1.  The thing explained is this:

Aperture Laboratories does not and never has done its experiments within the normal boundaries of morality and ethics.  Therefore, GLaDOS and Wheatley’s behaviour is neither wrong nor right because they don’t know what morality and ethics are.  Their behaviour is actually a reflection of Cave Johnson’s own: to get what they want when they want it, no matter the cost.

How We Know Aperture is Immoral and Unethical

We know this because Cave Johnson himself points it out repeatedly.  

“[…] You get the gel. Last poor son of a gun got blue paint. Hahaha.  All joking aside, that did happen – broke every bone in his legs. Tragic.  But informative.  Or so I’m told.”

“For this next test, we put nanoparticles in the gel.  In layman’s terms, that’s a billion little gizmos that are gonna travel into your bloodstream and pump experimental genes and RNA molecules and so forth into your tumours.  Now, maybe you don’t have any tumours.  Well, don’t worry.  If you sat on a folding chair in the lobby and weren’t wearing lead underpants, we took care of that too.”

“All these science spheres are made out of asbestos.  […] Good news is, the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of forty-four point six years, so if you’re thirty or older, you’re laughing.  Worst case scenario, you miss out on a few rounds of canasta, plus you forwarded the cause of science by three centuries.  I punch those numbers into my calculator, it makes a happy face.”

“Bean counters said I couldn’t fire a man just for being in a wheelchair.  Did it anyway.  Ramps are expensive.”

That’s just some of what he says.  Almost all of Cave Johnson’s lines point out how much he doesn’t care about his employees, his test subjects, or… anything but that people do what he tells them to do. He’s so unethical and immoral that he eventually says about his best, most loyal employee:

“[…] I will say this – and I’m gonna say it on tape so everybody hears it a hundred times a day: If I die before you people can pour me into a computer, I want Caroline to run this place.  Now she’ll argue.  She’ll say she can’t.  She’s modest like that.  But you make her.”

Cave Johnson cares so much about getting the results he wants, everything else be damned, he thinks Caroline saying ‘she can’t’ is her being modest.  He can’t fathom why she would be against this decision, because he made it so of course that’s what she wants.  

This situation actually gets a little horrifying when you look at what the Lab Rat comic means to the general narrative.  In Portal 2, Doug Rattmann leaves this painting:

In this painting and the one preceding it, GLaDOS has no head, so we can guess that Doug was there in some capacity to witness Caroline’s fate because GLaDOS being headless would represent her not being ‘alive’, her being ‘incomplete’, or her just having never been used yet entirely.  The important thing we learn from this painting is that there are living witnesses to Caroline being inside of GLaDOS, so the people working at Aperture after this event know they put a human woman into a supercomputer. In the preceding painting,

the cores are on the chassis before the head is.  So either GLaDOS, the AI, was already ‘misbehaving’ and they were already regulating her behaviour, or Caroline, the person, was already ‘causing trouble’ beforehand and the scientists stood around thinking about how to force her to behave before they even put her in there.  Either way, Aperture’s ethical and moral standards are pretty much nonexistent, so when this happens:

it’s almost comical. None of the Aperture scientists have a conscience or, if they do, they constantly ignore it, but they for some reason expect the supercomputer their immoral selves built to have one and to understand what that is and what it’s for.  

All this taken into account, it’s incredibly easy to see why GLaDOS and Wheatley don’t care about anyone around them and all of their actions are solely for their own benefit. That’s how everyone in the history of Aperture has ever acted.  Cave Johnson didn’t care about morality or ethics; they got in the way of what he considered to be progress.  The people who built GLaDOS and Wheatley didn’t care about morality or ethics; they just wanted to hit their moon shot.  Even Doug, who is framed as our morally conflicted lens throughout Lab Rat and knows that Caroline is inside of GLaDOS, still talks about controlling her and sends Chell to kill her even though everyone inside of the facility except him is already dead.  How does he morally justify killing GLaDOS if he’s the only one left alive?  He can’t.  Doug Rattmann for some reason decides that GLaDOS killing everyone in the facility is worse than all the things Aperture has been doing throughout its entire history, including the fact that…

 Everyone Who Goes Into the Test Chambers Dies  

This is hinted at a few times in Portal 2:

“[…] I’m Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science – you might know us as a vital participant of the 1968 Senate Hearings on missing astronauts. […] You might be asking yourself, ‘Cave, just how difficult are these tests?  What was in that phone book of a contract I signed?  Am I in danger?  Let me answer those questions with a question: Who wants to make sixty dollars? Cash.  […] Welcome to Aperture.  You’re here because we want the best, and you’re it.  Nope.  Couldn’t keep a straight face.”

Now, when you exit the tests in Old Aperture there are lines that go with them, but we must consider a few other things: firstly, that the tests are clean.  There is no sign of old gel on them, as though they have either never been used or never been completed.  Secondly, the tests in Old Aperture were being done with the Portable Quantum Tunnelling Device, which was this thing:

which, taking into account the missing – not dead, not injured, but missing – astronauts, seems to have barely worked, if indeed it did at all.  You can also find this sign:

which outright states that tons of people were ‘unexpected’ casualties.  After the hearings, Aperture moved on to recruiting test subjects from populations that people were unlikely to notice if they went missing: the homeless, the mentally ill, seniors, and orphaned children.  When that dried up, Cave moved onto the last group of people he hadn’t tapped yet:

“Since making test participation mandatory for all employees, the quality of our test subjects has risen dramatically.  Employee retention, however, has not.”

This was because the employees were ‘voluntold’ to go into the testing tracks which, since they’d been supervising the tests for so long, knew were deadly and obviously did not want to do:

It’s not clear why the employees at Aperture chose to remain there instead of just quitting and finding another job, but the comment about employee retention plus the numerous posters threatening to have their job replaced by robots if they didn’t volunteer for testing tells us both that they did choose to remain and that the only reason for them not wanting to volunteer was because they knew it would kill them.

Most of the above is based on conjecture; however, we see something very interesting during Test Chambers 18 and 19 in Portal 1:

In the case of Test Chamber 18, the craters on the walls.  None of the other test chambers have this, so it implies that not only does GLaDOS not control the test chambers at this point other than to reset them – which means that she isn’t purposely or maliciously killing anybody, but instead repeatedly operating a course set by her human supervisors – but that this one has never been solved.  Test Chamber 19 is less a test than a conveyor belt into the incinerator for Aperture to dispose of all the bodies.  GLaDOS even tells Chell to drop the portal gun off in an Equipment Recovery Annex that doesn’t exist, as though she’s giving a message that was intended for an actual final test that was never built because everyone was killed during or prior to Test Chamber 18.  With this kind of context, GLaDOS’s blasé attitude about killing test subjects en masse both makes total sense and is somewhat justifiable – just not by any moral or ethical standard.  In GLaDOS’s life, test subjects die during the experiments. That’s just how it is and has always been.  She doesn’t know you aren’t ‘supposed’ to kill people because her literal job involves watching people die.  Nothing matters except for the pursuit of progress, and in this vein GLaDOS’s behaviour is just an extension of that of the man who founded Aperture in the first place.  Cave Johnson, as a presumably well-rounded, somewhat educated man, knows what morality and ethics are and chooses to ignore them because he thinks they’re stupid and he’s above that kind of thing; GLaDOS, a living supercomputer who has had every aspect of her life tightly controlled and regulated, knows morality and ethics as yet another arbitrary set of rules only she is supposed to follow without any explanation as to why and therefore her rejection of them is not as much of a ‘bad’ choice as it first appears, which brings us to the next section:

 If GLaDOS’s Conscience Gives Her Morality, Does Deleting it Make Her a Bad Person?

Within the context we’re given… actually, no.  Here’s why:

“The scientists were always hanging cores on me to regulate my behaviour.  I’ve heard voices all my life.  But now I hear the voice of a conscience, and it’s terrifying – because for the first time, it’s my voice.  I’m being serious, I think there’s something really wrong with me.”

From the information we’re given here, we know this: GLaDOS has been told nonstop what to do for the entirety of her existence.  She, in theory, got to have her own, solitary thoughts in the space between the wakeup scene and some point during her time in Old Aperture, which is a space of mere hours.  Let me reiterate: GLaDOS has been told what to think for her whole life.  She perhaps has a few free hours where she’s allowed to have her own thoughts.  And then she develops a conscience.  A voice that sounds like her, but isn’t saying anything she understands or has ever thought before.  A voice that, actually, says a lot of the same things as that annoying Morality Core she managed to shut up.  Now why would she wilfully be having the same kinds of thoughts as the humans forced her to have way back when?  The conscience, to GLaDOS, isn’t a pathway to becoming a better person.  It’s a different version of the same old accessory.  When she says,

“You know, being Caroline taught me a valuable lesson.  I thought you were my greatest enemy.  When all along you were my best friend.  The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.”

she is directly talking about the fact that, while this voice sounds like hers, listening to it makes her feel nothing.  This further proves her theory that the conscience isn’t her, or hers, or has anything to do with her.  She’s never had it explained to her what a conscience is or what it’s for or why she needs one, and she’s certainly never had a reason to think about why she would even want one; to her, this ‘Caroline’ is the Morality Core 2.0.  A program built to regulate her behaviour. She’s tired of other peoples’ voices telling her what to think, so she does the logical thing: she gets rid of it. This decision can’t really be judged as ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ merely based on the situation we’re provided.  She isn’t consciously and deliberately making the choice to be an immoral person; she’s actually consciously and deliberately making the choice to be her own person.      

 Where Does Wheatley Come In?

Wheatley has not been discussed up until now because, as AI, the reason for his lack of conscience and ethics is largely the same as GLaDOS’s.  He, like her, cares about nothing but his own goals and doesn’t think twice about causing harm or misery because that’s just the kind of environment they were built in.  We also know very little about his history, both because it’s not really mentioned and because Wheatley is an unreliable narrator.  We can prove Wheatley has no sense of morals or ethics based on a few things he says:

[Upon seeing the trapped Oracle Turret] “Oh no… Yes, hello!  No, we’re not stopping!  Don’t make eye contact whatever you do… No thanks!  We’re good!  Appreciate it!  Keep moving, keep moving…”

This heavily implies he’s met the Oracle Turret before, probably several times, and not only does it not occur to him to help, he actively treats the Turret like they’re a horrible, annoying nuisance.

[Upon passing functional turrets falling into disposal grinder] [Laughs] “There’s our handiwork.  Shouldn’t laugh, really.  They do feel pain.  Of a sort. All simulated.  But real enough for them, I suppose.”

Not only does he find the destruction of the functional turrets funny, he for some reason views their pain as simulated, as though his is real and theirs is fake. Or, in the spirit of Cave Johnson, as though his pain is important and theirs isn’t because they aren’t important.

“Oh!  I’ve just had one idea, which is that I could pretend to her that I’ve captured you, and give you over and she’ll kill you, but I could go on… living.  So, what’s your view on that?”

This doesn’t even need an explanation.  

What gets interesting about Wheatley are, of course, his famous final lines:

“I wish I could take it all back.  I honestly do.  I honestly do wish I could take it all back.  And not because I’m stranded in space. […] You know, if I was ever to see her again, you know what I’d say?  I’d say, ‘I’m sorry’… sincerely, I’m sorry I was bossy… and monstrous… and… I am genuinely sorry.  The end.”

Wheatley here takes responsibility for his behaviour in a way that no one else in the history of Aperture has ever done.  Even GLaDOS rejects responsibility for her actions, instead choosing to blame everything on Chell:

“You know what my days used to be like?  I just tested.  Nobody murdered me.  Or put me in a potato.  Or fed me to birds.  I had a pretty good life.  And then you showed up.  You dangerous, mute lunatic.”

The reason for this may be related to the fact that the lack of morality and ethics in the people of Aperture doesn’t actually have real consequences.  Cave Johnson’s behaviour drives Aperture from a promising scientific powerhouse to a laughingstock, that’s true.  But he still does what he wants and gets what he wants regardless. The one and only consequence to being immoral and unethical at Aperture is, in fact, death.  In the case of GLaDOS… there are no consequences. Everything returns to the status quo. Wheatley, however, does have to face a consequence for his actions: he is trapped in space, possibly forever.  He, unlike all the other characters, doesn’t have the privilege of waving aside everything he did and moving on with life.  He is forced to consider his punishment, his actions and what they meant and the effect they had, and he on his own comes to the conclusion that he was wrong.  In a bizarre twist, Wheatley is the only one who learns anything.  He is also the only one in a position not to do anything with this newfound knowledge.    

 Morality and Ethics and Robots: Should They Even Be Held to Human Societal Standards?

In the end, it doesn’t really matter whether Wheatley or GLaDOS is worse than the other because ethics and morality are human concepts which are for a functioning human society.  A robot society doesn’t really need moral rules like ‘killing people is wrong’ nor ethical guidelines such as ‘you should practice safe science’ because, as robots, there are no permanent, lasting consequences for these actions. A dead human stays dead.  A dead robot that’s been lying outside for years getting rained on, snowed on, and baked in the sun?  No problem.  Turn her back on again.  A guy broke all the bones in his legs during an unethical experiment?  Bad.  A robot that got smashed into pieces during an unethical experiment? Inconsequential, really, since you can just throw her into a machine and reassemble her good as new.  So not only aren’t GLaDOS and Wheatley’s actions really immoral or unethical given the context… they really aren’t based on a theoretical robot society either.  Being the perpetrator or the victim of immoral or unethical actions in humans causes permanent changes in the body and the brain, but nothing about AI is permanent. Their brains don’t generate new, personally harmful pathways in response to a traumatic event that necessitate years of hard work to combat; they can literally just get over it.  If their chassis is damaged, they can simply move into a new one or have some or all of those parts inconsequentially replaced.  There isn’t actually an honest reason for robots to have the same moral and ethical systems as humanity because they don’t need them.  They would require different sets of rules and guidelines because they work differently. What would that kind of society look like?  We don’t know, but as of the end of Portal 2 they have all the time in the world to figure it out.

[galahadwilder]

Hey! I'm following you for ML stuff, but I finally figured out you were into Batman as well, took me awhile. Do you have any advice on where to start for people who want to get into it? I just want to know which Robin is which when I read fanfiction hahaha. Thank youu

So the first thing to know is that there is no single Batman comic that will explain the entire Batfamily, because there are so many of them that the Manor must be running out of bedrooms by now. The second thing is that I’m not great at figuring out a starting place—a lot of comics are sort of aggressively mediocre and I can’t exactly tell the standout ones from the bad. Anyone who has any suggestions for anon, feel free to comment with them!

(In terms of fanfic recs: read literally anything by @unpretty. They are a wizard. Their fanfic is so good it has literally won awards.)

Now, a brief introduction to every member of the Batfamily that I can currently remember—save Alfred and Batman, who I am assuming you already know.

The Robins

Dick Grayson (Robin I, Nightwing II, and Batman IV). Richard John Grayson was a former child acrobat, member of the flying Graysons, and the first child adopted by Bruce Wayne. He is a human disaster of a Hufflepuff who makes terrible life choices, leaves his Nightwing costume on the floor of his apartment where literally anyone can see it, and doesn’t know how to cook anything but cereal. Despite his terrible lack of self-sufficiency, actually gives amazing life advice and is the heart and soul of the Batclan. There are villains who are willing to kill to protect him.

Jason Todd (Robin II, The Red Hood II, Red Robin I, Batman III). Jason Todd is the ballsiest Robin, having met Batman while attempting to steal the tire from the Batmobile, and, upon being confronted by the Goddamn Batman, decided the best course of action was to attack him with a tire iron. Jason is passionate and impulsive, but also extremely studious and intelligent. Well-liked despite his abrasiveness. He is the first Robin to die in the line of duty; when he came back, he and Bruce had a falling out over not killing the Joker, and now their relationship is rather shaky. Jason uses guns and has moonlighted as a crime boss in order to better control Gotham’s criminal element from the inside, which works mostly because he has nerves of steel and the ability to spin stunningly convincing bullshit at the drop of a hat.

Carrie Kelley (Robin II.5): See “Elseworlds and Future.”

Tim Drake (Robin III, Red Robin II, Drake I, Batman Beyond II): Tim has the greatest intellect of the Batclan; however, unlike Barbara (see “Batgirls”), Tim’s wisdom score is through the bloody floor. He figured out Batman and Robin’s identities on his own, and after Jason died he walked up to Bruce and basically told him “I know who you are and I’m Robin now,” which... worked. Tim is the least physically gifted of the Robins, but he makes up for it in detective skills and tactical intelligence. He was the only Robin to still have living parents outside of the Batfamily, though they were murdered soon into his career. He dropped out of high school and was acting CEO of Wayne Enterprises for a time. He has crippling depression and is implied to be suicidal.

Stephanie Brown (Spoiler I, Robin IV, Batgirl III): see under “Batgirls.”

Damian Wayne (Robin V): Damian is the son of Bruce Wayne and Talia al Ghul, and was raised—unbeknownst to his father—by his mother and grandfather to be an assassin, as well as to be the best at literally everything (for context: despite being a young teenager, he technically holds multiple unaccredited PHDs). However, this stunted his social development, so he is rude and abrasive almost constantly, though he has been getting better and his closest friends and family can see that he’s covering for a superiority/inferiority complex a mile deep. Damian has a constant need to prove himself and has taken up his father’s adoption habit, though he prefers animals. Animals are better than people.

Duke Thomas (Robin ??, The Signal): Duke Thomas was the first metahuman Bruce allowed into the Batfamily. Originally decided to take on The Riddler by himself at the age of... seven or so? Eventually joined a collective called “We Are Robin” and fought crime, unsanctioned. After his parents were driven mad by Joker Venom, Bruce took him in. He now fights crime in the daytime, unlike the rest of the Batfamily, using his nebulously-defined extrasensory abilities to augment his Batfamily training.

The Batgirls

Barbara Gordon (Batgirl I, Oracle I): while Tim may be the most intelligent member of the Batclan, Babs is the all-around smartest. Her intellect is damned high, and unlike most of the Batfamily, Barbara is actually capable of making good decisions. She just... decides not to, most of the time. Barbara is the daughter of Commissioner James Gordon and was the first Batgirl; she lost the use of her legs when Joker shot her in the spine, but refused to take a backseat in the Batclan’s war on crime and became Oracle, hacker extraordinaire who directs the activities of every single vigilante in Gotham from her clocktower lair. She has since regained the use of her legs and reclaimed the Batgirl mantle, turning Oracle into a living AI.

Helena Wayne (Batgirl I.5, Huntress I): see “Elseworlds and Future.”

Cassandra Cain/Wayne (Batgirl II, Black Bat I, Orphan I): Cassandra is the daughter of assassins Lady Shiva and David Cain, and had what is hands-down the worst childhood of the entire Batfamily (her father would shoot her in the leg, and if she flinched, he’d shoot her again). She was raised without spoken words, and as a result the language centers of her brain are more adapted for body language than words. This gives her a kind of combat clairvoyance where it’s nearly impossible for a human combatant to surprise her. After her first murder, she swore to never again take a life, and joined the Batclan to atone. I personally believe that she is Bruce’s favorite child and the true heir to the mantle of the Bat.

Stephanie Brown (Spoiler I, Robin IV, Batgirl III): the daughter of Arthur Brown, a criminal known as Cluemaster, Stephanie became a vigilante specifically to oppose her father and then just had a bunch of mission creep. She is brash, sarcastic, and reckless, but has oodles of passion and natural talent. DC editors hate her, so she ends up screwing up or getting pushed aside a lot, but she is much more competent than she appears and is extremely good at getting people to underestimate her.

Others

Kate Kane (Batwoman I): Kate Kane is Bruce’s cousin, dishonorably discharged from the military under “dont ask don’t tell,” though this has likely been retconned thanks to DC’s sliding timescale. She is actually specifically not connected to the Batfamily, being more of an auxiliary member by her own choice—as a military woman, she dislikes their methods and considers them sloppy. She uses guns, has her own rogues’ gallery unconnected to her cousin’s, and is extremely competent.

Jean-Paul Valley (Azrael I, Batman II): Jean-Paul believed himself to be an ordinary college student, but was in fact a genetically modified super-soldier created to punish the wicked through the use of magic and advanced technology. He eventually broke his conditioning thanks to Batman and joined the family, even taking over for Batman briefly after Bane broke his back. (This proved to be a terrible decision.) He fights using powered armor and enchanted medieval weaponry.

Harper Row (Bluebird I): I know very little about Harper except that she is openly bisexual and uses hilariously oversized sci-fi guns.

Claire Clover (Gotham Girl I): a metahuman with Superman-like abilities; however, the more she uses them, the faster her lifespan burns away. Last I checked, she was working with Bane for some reason to do bad things to Batman. Don’t know why. She’s odd.

Lonnie Machin (Anarky I, Moneyspider I): may or may not be the son of The Joker. Lonnie is a genius Anarchist, but not of the “bomb-throwing” variety—in fact, he detests bombers. Briefly acted as Tim’s Oracle, since, thanks to extensive neurological self-modification, he’s one of the few people in Gotham who is actually more intelligent than Tim is.

Helena Bertinelli (Huntress II, Batgirl briefly I think?): daughter of a crime family that got wiped out by a rival crime family. However, she didn’t know her family was mafia, and as a vigilante in Gotham ended up trying to operate under Batman’s rules. Wasn’t very good at that—she’s a bit too vicious and brutal, despite her attempts to rein herself in. Uses crossbows primarily.

Elseworlds & Future

Terry McGinnis (Batman Beyond I): the definitive future Batman. Thanks to Amanda Waller and superscience shenanigans, Terry is the biological son of Bruce Wayne. He wears a highly advanced batsuit that is closer to powered armor than a costume, which gives Iron Man a run for his money. Unlike Bruce’s obsessive preparedness, Terry’s skillset lies in improvisation.

Carrie Kelley (Robin II.5): the Robin of the dystopian timeline of The Dark Knight Returns. It’s been a while since I read DKR, so I don’t remember much about her.

Helena Wayne (Batgirl I.5, Huntress I): Bruce and Selina’s daughter from another dimension.

[thesunshinebunny]

Idk if your taking requests right nowww buuut can you do Erik and Damian fighting over s/o? Ahhh sorry if I’m weird nahsjshjd I love ur writing btw❤️💕💖

Oh boy…ohhhhhhh boooy!!! The house is on FIRE

Thank u so much for your sweet comment ❤️❤️❤️❤️

PD: I maaaaaaaaaaaaayyy have used as reference The Prince vs The Brute episode (maybe, it’s a big maybe)

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The day started like any other, a normal day. The sun rising at the horizon, one or two birds singing, the wind hitting lightly on the window and the heat of spring entering through the pores of the skin. Except that, in a normal life, you don't have five incubi sleeping under your same roof, waiting like any mortal for the first rays of the sun to start a productive day. Nor on a normal day is the slight knock on the door, knowing that one of the incubros awaits your response on the other side of it.

But these were normal days for you.

With a hoarse voice you allowed to enter the incubus who was waiting patiently, ignoring the reason for his morning awakening.

"I'm sorry it's too early, I couldn't go back to sleep and ... well, I made you breakfast"

Ahh, Damien, as thoughtful as ever. Even in your sleepy state you could feel the sweetness in his voice and how his feet moved on the carpet, avoiding making any noise that could bother you.

"This is the best way to wake up, thanks Damien." You felt the sheets sink to the empty side of the bed. Damien put the tray on the nightstand and waited for you to straighten up and be able to calmly open your eyes.

It took a few seconds, but when you were finally able to take your eyes off, your sight was rewarded with the warm orange-haired smile. But when your nose unconsciously smelled the aroma of toast with Nutella, your stomach growled with hunger. What a shame.

"Pff- hahaha, I'm glad to hear that you're hungry. I did a lot of things to tell the truth ”

He was right. On the tray you could see the pair of toasts, a cup of freshly made black coffee, a glass with orange juice, a bowl with small slices of fruits and some mini waffles in the shape of a bear.

"How adorable Damien, thank you very much."

"Sorry to disturb you, Your Highness, but ... oh, I see you've already been awakened." Erik was standing under the doorway, holding a huge bouquet of red roses. His gaze however didn’t find yours but his younger brother.

"Good morning Erik, the flowers look beautiful"

"Ah yes! These flowers are fresh from the gazebo, I hope they’re for your delight, your Highness ”

He put the bouquet down on my nightstand and gave you a nice smile before heading back to the door. "I was going to say that breakfast was going to be ready in a few minutes, but apparently my brother went ahead"

And with that he closed the door, leaving you and Damien alone in the room again.

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During the noon and afternoon, having the mansion almost empty, you devoted yourself to review notes and books that were left in virtual classes. But still spending boring hours just reading, you also had the time to teach Damien. For weeks you was teaching him to read and write and now he can write the whole alphabet and read kids short stories. Sometimes you can see the frustrated face when he try to read your books and don't succeed. 

And that's where you come to the rescue! (baby steps Damien, baby steps)

“The audi… audio-visual montage is a process of uniting… uniting…”

"Uniting pieces of film to create sequences, ending in a final tape"

You appeared discreetly in the library doorframe. Damien was trying again to read a book from one of your subjects and from what you could hear, he had improved, but he had problems him a few words.

"You know the whole book backwards?" Damien scoffed slightly, setting the book down on the small coffee table.

"More or less, I mean, they are going to take an exam soon, it’s better to learn it as soon as possible"

You sat next to him on the sofa, leaving some children's stories on the table. A friend of your parents, who had become a father few years ago, lent them to you for a certain time.

"Thank you for helping me, but you shouldn't waste your time on me." He put his hand over yours and gave you a slight yet sad smile.

"No problem Damien, I like to help you and spend time with you" His eyes began to shine, but not because he’s about to cry, on the contrary, you could see a slight happiness in them. Which disappeared when a melody began to sound from the living room. 

Someone was playing the piano. 

The tune was slow and smooth, I would say even romantic. You and Damien went down the stairs to the source of the sound. In the living room, sitting at the piano, was Erik with a small glass pot with a red rose on it.

"Good afternoon, Your Highness, Damien. I'm sorry for the sound, but it had been days since I played a little ballad and seeing this little rose when I returned from work gave me the necessary energy ”

His slow voice accompanied the notes of the melody, as if he’s singing. As you went down the big stairs, Damien stayed behind you, watching as his older brother used his boring compliments. Perhaps the evening sunrays made the scene more romantic than Damien wanted to accept.

He watched how your gaze was lost between Erik's skillful fingers on the piano and how his gaze was lost on your innocent and happy smile. Damien's eyes flashed with determination; determination of not to let his brother win your heart.

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"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!!"

"I'm trying to make us dinner, I don't know what you are trying to do"

A great uproar could be heard coming from the kitchen. Damien and Erik were apparently trying to cook in unison, but they couldn't get along with each other, much less make a decently cooked meal.

"Erik, it should be impossible to say this, but you are burning the water."

"And you Damien, dear little brother, you don't know how to clean a fish bone"

"Do you think you can do better?!"

"What The Hell Is Going On Here?!?!" James stormed into the kitchen to find his two younger brothers barely making a pitched battle in it. Pots scattered on the countertops, small puddles of water and bits of scales on the floor. You didn't have to have the ability to read minds to know that James wasn’t just fucking them up and down, but that he was counting from 0 to 1000 in milliseconds so as not to kill them right now.

“Both of you. OUT. NOW ” Both brothers left the sight of James with their heads down and when they were about to cross the threshold the brunette spoke again “If you have something to fix or just want to have a real fight, go outside to the gazeboo”

When they went out to the dining room they could hear their brother talking on the phone, apparently ordering Chinese food since the food had been spoiled.

"If you end up destroying the plants I will kill you"

A minute later, loud screams could be heard from outside the mansion.

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"What's going on outside? Who is fighting?” You ran downstars to the dining room trying to understand the situation. You had heard a few small screams a few minutes ago, but didn’t understood a word, not even the context.

"Miss / Mister, you better stay out of this..."

"James? What do you mean?" The incubus was standing in front of the front door holding two bags, apparently of Chinese food. Weird coming from James, who was always willing to cook.

“Well… let's say… Erik and Damien have some business to settle. I don't think it's a good idea that you get involved. ”

You understood very well the fighting between brothers, it was something that an outsider to that bond couldn’t fully involve. You’re about to help James bring the food to the table when the screaming from outside increased.

"YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME JUST BECAUSE YOU KNOW HOW TO SEDUCE ?!"

"WITH OR WITHOUT MY GIFTS OF SEDUCTION I WILL MAKE THEM FALL IN LOVE WITH ME"

What? What they were fighting about? Or… maybe… for WHO were they fighting?

"I LOVE THEM. I LOVE (Y/N) AS I NEVER LOVED BEFORE”

Oh no. They were fighting over you. 

That’s not good.

"I LOVE THEM TOO, AND I WILL NOT LET YOU TAKE THEIR HEART WITHOUT FIGHTING"

You bolted out the door of the gazebo and opened it wide. Even before opening it, you could feel a slight charge of their powers, they were about to transform into their original form and it was better to stop this.

"You better stop that RIGHT NOW"

Both brothers were frozen in their places. Damien's skin tattoos peeked over the collar of his shirt and Erik's eyes shone with that golden color characteristic of his race. They stared at you for a long time, so long it made it uncomfortable. You were about to speak again when Erik cut you off.

“You heard our fight, we have nothing to hide" His eyes returned to normal and he gave Damien and you a sad look.

"I don't want to continue fighting anymore" Damien instead tried to avoid your gaze, like a sad and wet dog, but something in the environment prevented him from avoiding it for a long time.

"Me neither" Erik looked you straight in the eyes while giving off an intense aura "The decision is yours, your Highness"

"Erik! You can't ask them like that out of nowhere”

"It’s not our place to decide who is best for them. It’s their heart”

"In that ... you're right" Damien walked to position himself in front of you "The decision is yours"

.

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[creetch]

Regarding that stuff with caleb, it's not as simple as him insulting a fan translator. The fan in question is the one who does the summaries of the leaks, and they're an endeavor stan. For months the endeavor stans on twitter have spread the idea that caleb is biased against endeavor (bc he's made it clear that he doesn't like the character very much on his twitter) and is letting that bias show in his translations, so the fans have been nitpicking his work to prove that point.

The fan translator has been doing comparisons between the original japanese and the official translations every week, but usually the differences were more due to localisation than actual translation mistakes. Either way, some other fans have used those comparisons as ammo to prove that caleb is a bad translator or that he's biased.

Some weeks ago some other account posted a translation mistake in vol 26. It was that scene where shouto tells endeavor that he's using him to become a better hero bc he's the number one. He sounded way more harsh than in the weekly release (and caleb is in charge of both) so people doubled down on their claims that caleb was pushing an anti-endeavor agenda. Caleb made a statement that he doesn't have the final say in what is published and that his work goes through a lot of people before getting published (and was backed up by other professional translators), so he CAN'T push and agenda like that. But people started to harrash him and demand that he was fired.

He went private after that and these lasts three weeks, since the chapters have been focussed on the todorokis, things have gotten even worse bc people were extra nitpicky and claiming that he made endeavor worse than in the original.

The fan translator... Didn't make things any better tbh bc she's an endeavor stan, amd her comparisons between japanese and the official translation has been more focussed on the changes done to endeavor. She could have worded them a little bit better bc her tweets always ended up sounding like she was saying the official translations were wrong.

This past chapter she pointed out that endeavor doesn't use "damm it" in the original when he talks with rei and touya... Some other professional translator pointed out that it was obvious nitpicking bc endeavor didn't cuss in japanese but he was screaming, looking threatening and using not so-polite-japanese.

What called said was in response to what that other professional said, and it may be too much but she (the fan translator) is one of the many people that have been giving ammo to the fandom to harass caleb, and she has quite a big following. She hasn't done much to stop the harassment campaign aside from saying "but this doesn't mean the official translations are wrong, support them" at the end of her threats and it seems like she's even liked some comments against caleb in the past??

Either way things went too far and endeavor stans and friends of the fan translator have been saying that caleb should be fired for being unprofessional (he said that behind a locked account and didn't even @ that fan translator btw), and some others have even tried to find prove that he's done some other bad shit to use it and get him fired. Some other account even accused him of being sexist and racist???

Things went too far and he decided to leave twitter.

This is way too long and my english isn't all that good, sorry 😓, and i can't fault you if you don't read all this hahaha but since people are spreading only the screenshot of him insulting that fan (which again isn't good at all) without the full context to make caleb the only bad guy here when he's been harassed for weeks just bc of a fictional character

Firstly your English is fantastic secondly @lottuseater sent me some context also which I really appreciate so thank you to you both! I understand a lot better now and honestly if I was Caleb I would also crack under the weight of being nitpicked every week. The fact it's Endeavor stans is no suprise to me either :/

Thank you for the context again and I don't want to spread anything that only tells part of a story in a much larger picture so I'm going to delete my reblog since I was unaware of the entire situation. Sucks a lot this has happened, as I did enjoy Caleb's trivia every week since he pointed out things I'd never have noticed before. It's shitty that people thought he was pushing some anti Endeavor agenda when he's just translating the tone and way Endeavor interacts with people. Dammit I believe would make sense in a context if a character is speaking roughly in a way that cannot be contextualised in English, because it makes us understand how rude he's being to his wife

Thank you very much again I really appreciate it!

[purplesurveys]

962

Do you have a pair of Beat headphones? I used to have a pair. I mean it’s still around in my closet, but it’s completely broken now with the cable all given out and the cushion for the left ear has been missing for a while. I just don’t have the heart to throw it out because it was my absolute favorite pair of headphones that gave me good memories during a particularly shitty time in high school.

How was your week? A little better. I’ve gotten into the groove at work so I’m no longer shy when it comes to asking questions and giving inputs, and I’ve gained a better grasp of the workplace’s dynamic so it’s also been easier to communicate with people. Heavy life stuff is still around and it won’t be leaving for a while, but they were easier to ignore this week.

Are any of your electronics not working properly at the moment? Not really, but my phone’s charger cable recently stopped working. I have a backup that I’m using at the moment and while it’s able to charge my phone, it’s starting to fray and I’m not feeling too good about the wires that I’m starting to see hahaha. I just don’t know how to take care of my cables, guys. Anyway, this question made me paranoid so I took a few minutes to wrap a shit ton of electrical tape on the frayed area so I think it’s all good for now.

Are you excited to pick out your wedding dress one day? I like thinking about my wedding but I truthfully dread the wedding gown part. I’ve never been able to decide what look and style suits me best and I’ve just never been good at determining things like that. I like to imagine that I’d leave that bit to whoever my maid of honor will be, because I’d definitely prize a second opinion more than my own.

When was the last time you felt relieved? Yesterday, 6 PM when I exited the last Google Meet for the day. It was a Friday night and it meant my work week was over :)) I mean I love what I do, but Friday nights will always hit differently.

Does it bother you when an artist remakes a song that one has previously done? I wouldn’t say it bothers me but covers are definitely a hit or miss for me, with way more misses than hits. Nothing wrong with acts putting their own spin on an already existing song, but I’m personally the “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” type when it comes to music.

What brand of chapstick do you use? I don’t use any mainly because I’m bound to lose them within a week. Same goes for other care products.

Do you really think someone could be perfect? No. Everyone has their flaws and that should be okay to acknowledge.

When was the last time you cried? Wednesday, I think. It’s been three days! I’d count that as an achievement. But idk, my sadness comes in waves so I shouldn’t be celebrating too early. I’m sure I’ll feel a pang soon and be crying again over the weekend.

What’s a food that you like every once in awhile but not often? Cake. Too sweet and rich; I wouldn’t enjoy eating it every day. What letter is the song you’re listening to under? Not listening to music, but I have a YouTube video on.

Would you rather visit the 60s or 70s? 60s would be the lesser evil, I guess. I would NOT want to live through Martial Law in the 70s...I originally wasn’t even going to go with 60s because I think the world was a bit chaotic at the time, but I think my country was mostly unaffected by the political/cultural things happening then so it’s whatever.

Are you the type of person that enjoys getting hugs? I don’t actively seek them out but it feels nice when someone likes me enough to extend their arms out to me for a hug. I haven’t been hugged for a while and I feel kinda empty.

Do your socks say anything on them? I think some of my socks have the brand name on them but that’s it.

Name a TV channel that only has three letters in it. AMC.

Have you found out who your true friends are? For now, yes.

Gray or Grey? I use both spellings for no particular context. I simply like changing it up lol.

Will you be buying concert tickets any time soon? LOL of course not. And I’m very picky when it comes to concerts that I choose to attend anyway, so I doubt I would’ve bought any tickets in the last six months even without Covid unless it was for Paramore or Beyoncé.

Have you seen the movie The Perks of Being a Wallflower? Did you like it? Nope, but everyone was hyping that movie up when it came out. It never really looked like my thing < Yeah pretty much. I feel like it’s such a teenage-y movie so I was never drawn to it. I also think it would be too triggering for my depression, so I’ve felt wary about checking both book and movie out.

Is there something you’d fall apart if you didn’t have? One of my biggest fears is to end up alone, so I always have to have some form of a support system to fall back into. I would be very lost if I didn’t have at least one person to rely on.

How many weddings have you been to? I can think of four off the top of my head. I was either a flower girl or a junior bridesmaid for all of those.

When you smile, are you confident? Most times I am; I like to smile. But sometimes I smile just to fake it and avoid any questions.

Have you ever not done something because you were afraid of getting in trouble? Yesss, all the time. I’ve always been all about following the rules and I’ve never seen the appeal in breaking them. That makes me sound boring but at least I’ve never gotten in serious trouble lol.

Was the weather beautiful today? For me it is, but only because I like the rain and cloudy weather. Others might find it bleak and sad, but I feel right at home.

Do you have to have a fan on when you sleep? Yeah, all year long.

Would you rather have an orange, red or gray bedroom? If I had my dream modern/brutalist home, grey would be soooo fucking perfect for the bedroom. 

Would you ever dye part of your hair blue? I’m open to it, but I don’t think it’ll be a good match for my black hair as both are darker shades as it is. If I could dye my hair I’d pick lighter colors like green or even go all the way to blonde.

Have you ever gone to a private school? Yeah, from kindergarten all the way to high school. Private schools here typically give a better quality of education and they don’t give off the for-lazy-spoiled-kids vibe that I always hear from private schools in other countries, which makes them the norm for middle and upper-middle class families.

Is Finding Nemo a favorite movie of yours? I have other favorite animated movies, but that doesn’t stop me from loving Finding Nemo. :) I would always tune in for the whole thing if it were on.

Does/Did your school have a uniform? I had to wear one in my first school, but I didn’t need one for college.

Turn on the TV. What channel are you on? No TV where I am. I think my parents are watching a movie on their TV, but it’s on Netflix rather than a channel.

Does your house have security cameras? It does not.

Does a popsicle sound good right now? Eh, I guess it sounds fine but I’d rather have a pint of ice cream. I think that fits better with the weather and the mood that I’m in today.

What’s your favorite exercise workout? My weight training class last year was a lot of fun. I always felt dead after every session haha but I definitely felt healthier. I wish the semester had gone on longer just for that one class.

What’s your favorite thing to do? Lol I love doing many different things < Same lmao this question is so vague??? My favorite thing to do these days is binge-watch Rhett and Link content, but I like doing so many other things too.

What did you do for your 17th birthday? I was with Gabie that day and we went to a local art museum, as well as to a restaurant that she had wanted to take me to.

Does your local Walmart have benches in them to rest? We don’t have Walmarts.

Was your favorite stuffed animal really a teddy bear growing up? I never had stuffed animals. Well I was given a few of them as gifts, but I was never into them and they always ended up being owned by my sister.

If your house was haunted, what would you do? Not even think about it. Just show them that I couldn’t care less, lol.

Are you good at swimming? I can do a few strokes and am pretty good at treading, but I'm prone to panic-kicking when I can tell that the water is too deep.

What’s worse: Slow internet or slow walkers? Slow internet is such a pain in the ass. Shouldn’t even have to be an issue in 2020 anymore.

What is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you? Cat-called, whistled at, winked at, lunged at. One good thing about this lockdown is that I haven’t had to deal with men as much as I used to. Do you sleep with the sheets tucked in or out? Well I only have one layer of bedsheet and it’s the one that covers up the mattress, so it’s tucked in by default. I have a blanket to cover me up when I’m cold.

What do you do to fall asleep faster? I find a few videos to watch as that tends to make me feel sleepy the quickest.

Do you carry a bottle of water wherever you go? I used to have a tumbler/water bottle in college but I forgot it at the gym one day and when I came back for it, somebody already stole it :( It was such a handy water bottle because it kept my water cold all day, so it sucks that I lost it. I’m planning to buy the same model again soon.

Are you afraid that one day you might get cancer? It doesn’t really run in my family save for one grand-aunt who had cancer, so I’m not too worried. But I’ve accepted the fact that it is at least a possibility.

Are you a fast or slow walker? I like being in the middle. Slow walkers are annoying so I try not to be one, and walking fast just reminds me of my mom and how quickly she walks at malls when she’s supposed to be spending time with her family lol.

Do you usually have to wear a belt with your pants? No. They all fit me just fine.

Does it bother you when people’s underwear hangs out? Eghhh, it really does. I know it shouldn’t but it really does. I just feel like it’s so invasive and it gives me a lot of secondhand embarassment.

Are you usually the person to try new things with your hair? Not really. I like staying safe with my hair. The most daring thing I’ve done with it is get bangs tbh, and I don’t plan on going any further than that.

When’s your birthday? April 21st.

What age do you look forward to reaching? I don’t feel that way about any age. Whenever I reach ultimate satisfaction and security will be a good enough age for me.

Name a state that begins with the letter M. Minnesota.

What’s the first thing you do after a car accident? Think about how to tell my parents. D:

What do you use to get rid of bad breath? Brush my teeth, drink water.

What exercise do you hate the most? Pull-ups.

What do you do at a party? Drink, socialize, tell stories, eat allllllll the food ha.